Average by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author.   ©2014  All copies must be of the complete document.  Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not. 

Luv Karen  

The best way to describe me is average.  I mean I got through maths by doing summer school, but apart from that I’m just average, average height, average weight, my hair is the sort of colour that isn’t blonde, or brunette or even black either, you know boring.

Sonia sent out the word about a summer job on Facebook so next morning being realistic about my chances I didn’t bother to overdress in a business suit or anything, well let’s face it I couldn’t handle a power suit and it might even give them the wrong idea about what I could do.  I sort of compromised and put on my power knickers though and set off on the bus.

Coming up to the office block I saw a mini-van pull up and the in crowd gang descend.  Shit Facebook is just too popular sometimes.  Still I was here so whatever.  The receptionist on the 19th floor took one look at me and said “Another for the summer job?”   I nodded, “Third door on the left, you’ll find they’re expecting you, just knock and walk in.”  Another, God that sounded bad, well I looked on the hopeful side maybe they wanted to hire five thousand students this summer, but I didn’t think so.   

I knocked on the door and walked in, the cute guy behind the desk was tiding his papers into a brief case.  “I’ve come about the summer job.”  I said handing over my CV, let’s hope he won’t read it, hobbies watching house planets grow, I only put it in to pad it out to a full page, and to see if they really read this stuff.  He took it from me and scanned it in about two seconds.  “Well the budget’s there so I suppose I could do.”  Could could life was suddenly looking up.  “The only thing is that the last student I hired kept disturbing me by asking if there was anything else she could do, there will be times when you might not be busy all the time, but I see in your case that won’t be a problem since I do have one or two plants that haven’t had a lot of attention recently.”  I wanted to crawl under the chair, instead I just looked up at him smiling at me.  “I only put it in to see if people really read these things to the end, but I can bring a book and read that in the corner if it’s quiet.”  “Any questions?”  Ten thousand sprang to mind but not ones that you could really ask in an interview, mostly maths ones I hadn’t managed to work out, you know like why would anyone want to know the square root of 23?  I’m better on chemistry things as in chemistry between people.

“Your desk is in the corner, have a dig on social media for me.”  He printed off a letter of offer and got me to sign it and that was it.  “Don’t you want to interview anyone else first?”  “Not especially I hadn’t realised I was hiring anyone until you arrived.  Why do you think I ought to put an ad in the paper or something?  Now be a good girl and pop down to the café on the second floor and get me a bacon sandwich.”  He handed me some cash and off I went.  Outside two girls came out of the door opposite “They said they’d let me know by the end of the week.”  “They probably said that to everyone.”  I wondered if I’d gone in the right door and as I passed I looked at the name on the other door, Albrights, same as the Facebook page.  Sometimes I wish I’d paid more attention in Brownies when they were showing us maps and all that stuff.

I got two bacon sandwiches and rang mom and told her I’d got a job whilst I waited for the lift.  At the end of the day I’d made three cups of coffee for him, been down to get his sandwiches for lunch, and read everything you didn’t want to know about Facebook.  “So are you ready to set up a business Facebook account for me?”  “If you like I’ll do it in the morning.”

That night I met up with the gang.  Nicole, the most fashionable one in our group was bragging she’d got hired by Albrights and at such fabulous wage.  Maria had found a job as a waitress, it paid less than normal minimum wage but the tips were supposed to make up for it.  I was getting two dollars an hour more than Nicole so kept quiet.  The next morning I started creating the business account and guided his lordship through all the bits and stuff.  I had to explain about Facebook and how it worked, he hadn’t really got a clue.  We got so engrossed I was nearly late going down for the bacon sandwiches.  I got out and about a fair bit, for as he said with my bus pass I was cheaper than using a courier service.  The rest of the gang were jealous about that since they were stuck in cubicles all day.

I found out at the end of the week he was taking a week’s vacation the following week so he’d signed me up for a computer course down the hall to keep me out of trouble as he put it.  Advanced Word Processing, which was different, I mean I always thought that Word Processing meant typing.  When he came back and we chatted about it I told him about mail merge and how I thought it would be great for doing Christmas Cards.  Dumb, I got given the task of doing his Christmas cards.

Still I got to choose them, fine art ones that met the Post Office envelope size guide lines.  I won’t tell you what they cost but they are cheaper by the thousand.  Idiot that I am I suggested handwriting the inside in pen and ink using Copperplate would give them that personal touch.  I had to split them up into “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year” and “Happy Holidays” according to their religion or lack of it.  They looked very good but it took me four weeks to do all the cards and stuff them in the addressed envelopes.  We even got a special printer that worked with envelopes that the instructor had suggested on the course.  Besides which the cartridge had run out on the office printer and it was cheaper to buy a new printer than a new cartridge, especially as it was on half price sale at Staples.  I hadn’t realised envelopes were such a pain to do.

Still I got a box of sixty Fine Art Christmas Cards out of it, I think that was for doing his personal ones as well.  I hope he didn’t notice I put extra curls and drew Holly leaves on the ones that were to Ms or obviously female just to leave a hint that they weren’t the only woman in his life.  Oh and I got to choose which stamps to put on since I pointed out that having a proper stamp on looked more personal than an office frank.  I had fun at the main post office going through all the special stamps they had available for the last three years.  Eventually I picked out a Christmas stamp from two years ago and added in a two cent stamp to make up.  That was OK, it was a really cute older guy, ever so patient whilst I looked through them all but I thought he would flip when I asked him for 1,800 stamps.  I ended up with a mixture since he didn’t have 1,800 all the same.

Tuesday morning I was rotating the three office plants on the windowsill and misting them when he put the phone down.  “First do me a ‘Many Happy Returns Gerald’ on one of the cards and tonight we’re dinning out.  Have you got a long skirt or an evening gown?”  “I’ve got an old long school skirt that comes just below my knees.”  He grimaced, “Come on we’ll go shopping.”  Have you noticed they always make you walk through the perfume counters at the department stores before you get anywhere?  I paused at the sample bottles and put a dab of my favourite expensive one on my wrists, I’d never pay that much for some but I like the smell and it’s free.  He sniffed it then brought a bottle of the perfume, not even the toilet water.  More money than sense some guys.  We looked at the dresses in the department stores but they weren’t really me and you could tell they were more expensive than he’d planned since it must have been the one week of the year when they weren’t on sale.  I think they were waiting for new stock to come in.  So I took him to the Dress Agency that Nicole swears by.  As we pulled up a fancy BMW SUV pulls in alongside and a lady sort of my size or maybe a few pounds heavier gets out and opens the back where in lies the most heavenly long evening dress I’d ever seen draped over a multitude of carrier bags.  “That looks nice.”  I admired the designer dress, “Well if you’re interested it’s about to go into the dress agency along with the rest, I’m decluttering.”  “May I?”  I held it up against me and was totally lost.  Boss man pulled out his wallet and extracted a couple of hundred dollar bills.  “Thanks, that’s all the dress agency would give me for all of it so you might as well take the rest.  At least that way I won’t be bothered by the commiserating or condescending looks you get if they think you’ve put on a bit a weight.  I think I was just a bit too optimistic about how much weight I was going to lose when I brought them.”  Boss man loaded up his car whilst I chatted.  Her husband was an older man who liked to indulge her enjoyment of shopping.  When her closets got too full she’d just dump things down at the Dress Agency.   “Oh James adores me in different lingerie, so I hope the outfits in the bags will bring you as much pleasure as they have James and I.”  I rejoined Boss man in the car.  “Think it will fit?”  “It had better, if not a stitch or two will work fine.”  “Do you want to drop by the hairdressers?”  “Whatever for?”  “I just thought.”  “I’ve got my hair brush in my bag to tidy it up.”  I hate hairdressers, the way they impose their ideas and charge the earth.  Nicole likes them but not me.  I called mom and told her I was working late meeting a client with my boss over dinner.  When we got back Cathy the receptionist wanted to know what I’d found so I showed her and she said she’d give me a hand with my hair before she left.

We piled the bags up in the corner of the office and I had an explore through them.  Cathy came in and together we shooed boss man out to sit in reception and read a book whilst I got changed.  The dress was nearly perfect except I thought it was a bit long but Cathy thought not, it just needed heels.  She had some under her desk so we tried them, a tiny bit big but a hankie folded over in the toe and a sticking plaster stuck round the heel solved that problem.  My bra showed so Cathy dug through the bags and found a French designer label lower cut one with matching slip that worked perfectly.  She found a long cloak in another bag which when we gave it a good brush to get the creases out didn’t look too bad at all.  I was set, well almost, she tied up my hair for me, doing it in a sophisticated twist at the back that I hadn’t tried before.  Finally after a couple of dabs of my new scent I was ready.

Cathy collected boss man and brought him back to the office.  Fortunately he held his arm out to me because I wasn’t very practised in heels and tended to wobble a bit.  Cathy volunteered to drop us off at the restaurant saying that that way he could drink a glass of wine without having to worry about driving home.

There was something familiar about the restaurant’s name but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  We met our guest at the bar and moved to the restaurant seating area where the restaurant captain greeted us and was about to guide us to the left when it clicked, this was Maria’s restaurant and there to the right was Maria who flicked her eyes towards her section.  “Is it possible to sit over there where it’s a little quieter so it will be easier to talk?”  “There’s only a trainee in that section.”  She said haughtily “That’s fine since it’s my first time here so I’m sure we can learn together.”  Bloody cow, after that there wasn’t much she could do.  Boss man looked at me a bit oddly though.

When we sat down and Maria approached “I’d like a well done T bone steak?”  that came from our guest “I’m sorry that’s off, but I could do you a medium one.”  He looked at her oddly “You just have to leave it under the grill to cook a little longer.”  Maria looked embarrassed and I remember something she’d said to me besides that the captain had her favourite waitresses who gave her a kick back in their tips.  “How many items on the menu are cooked fresh?”  She looked down at the table as she spoke “Clair’s doing the veal in mushroom sauce tonight.  She works part time Tuesday through Thursday and they let her do one dish fresh each night to keep her hand in.  The rest are frozen and reheated in the microwave including the steaks.”  The guest looked as if he was going to get up and walk out.  “Claire is a fully qualified chef and to be honest much better than the restaurant could expect to have but her husband got transferred and it’s the best she could find at the moment.  Her veal in mushroom sauce really is very good.”  Our guest relented.

“It isn’t even on the menu.”  “Plat de jour it comes with soup and sweet.  If you like simple apple pie I’m sure she could run you one up.”  Boss man looked at me so I smiled back, if Maria suggested it, it would be perfect.

“House wine to drink?”  “I’d thought about this ’97.”  “I’ll be back in a moment.”  She came back with four glasses with a mouthful in the bottom of each in two pairs.  “One is your vintage wine from a bottle that was opened yesterday and the other is the house wine.”  The guest sipped the first then the second.  Boss man did as well before pronouncing he couldn’t tell the difference.  Guest thought they were close but rather thought the one on the left was the vintage.  “If you lift the glass I’ve marked them on the bottom.”  Needless to say he’d picked the wrong one.

“These days winemakers are so good that the good years and bad years come out much the same.  Bordeaux is a little different but even there the differences are less than you might think.  So house wine?  Actually I get to use the bottles up from conference people who were in two days ago so it’ll be the same wine anyway.”  “You two know each other?”  I nodded, “We’re at school together.” “I should have guessed.”

The captain came nosing around, “Everything to your satisfaction?”  “Well we were thinking of going teetotal tonight but your charming waitress has convinced us to try the house wine.”  The captain gave Maria a look “and how will you be having your steaks?”  She continued.  “Steaks?”  “Well you look like business men who travel around and they usually go with T bone steaks as being a safe choice.”  I put my two cents in “I thought we’d try one of the other seventy five dishes on the menu and go with the Plat de Jour or is that steak as well tonight?”  “I’m really not quite certain tonight.”  Replied the captain “Well you must be very busy if we find anything at all that needs your attention we’ll summon you.”  Guest gave her her dismissal.  When she’d left he turned to Maria “Does she always micro-manage people like that?”  Maria gave him a polite smile, small curtsey and disappeared without a word.

“I take it that was a yes.  Now Andrew I’ve a bone to pick with you, you should know better than to offer me this beautiful young lady thinking it would influence me.”  “Thank you.”  I blurted out, “That’s the first time anyone has ever called me beautiful.”  Andrew turned a shade of pink, “She isn’t is she?”  I suddenly realised what the word offer meant, I wasn’t sure if I was insulted or complimented.  “No.”  Came the reply “She’s actually my summer young lady and she’s been remarkably useful.  Not once has she asked if I had something else for her to do.  She’s just done all my Christmas cards, so this is by the way of a reward for her and to soften the evening a bit for me.  I have a sample of her work here.”  He fished out one of the Fine Art cards that I’d written Happy Birthday Gerald in copperplate.  “Your Christmas card will be the same design I’m afraid.”  Gerald examined it, “I’m impressed, what sort of printer did you use?”

“The sort that he tells me what to write out and I inscribe it by hand.”  God does everything have to be done by computer these days.  “and no before you ask he’s not offering my services to do your Christmas cards.”  I turned to boss man “Are you?”  They both chortled.  “I’m surprised why hadn’t you hadn’t mentioned she was beautiful to her before?”  “Politically correctness, thou shalt not make personal comments.”  “You hereby have my permission to call me beautiful whenever the mood takes you.”  “You’re beautiful, now don’t let it go to your head.”  Men!

The soup turned up with a glass of house wine.  The veal had to have a different sort of wine a Chateau something or other.  The apple pie didn’t seem that special to me, the ice cream was nice, but the guys seemed to think it was the highlight of the meal.  Oh we had a pretty pink sparkling wine to wash it down with.

We sat drinking coffee afterwards, and the real business meeting part took place, fairly quickly it seemed to me.  Maria came to see if we wanted anything else and stood quietly besides Gerald’s chair whilst he asked me how I was enjoying working and I replied I enjoyed the money rather than the time spent working.  He and Boss man started reminiscing, I noticed Maria was getting rather flushed and was gripping the back of Gerald’s chair rather firmly as if to stay upright but it was only when she eventually stepped away and her skirt fell back down that the penny dropped Gerald had had his finger up her, the dirty old man and in public as well, still he was rather attractive even if he was a little older so I suppose I couldn’t really blame her.

Maria brought the bill and Gerald indicated he’d pick up the tab, he was about to add a tip onto the credit card when I spoke.  “If you add it to the credit card then Maria gets taxed on it, in cash she doesn’t.”  He thought about it for a moment then brought out a large bill and laid it by the side plate.  Maria pulled out her smart phone and tapped into the screen before going to collect the receipt at the waitress station and bring it back and handing it to Gerald who raised his eyebrows but said nothing.  What was going on here?

When I got up I found that wine and high heels didn’t quite mix well for me.  I mean I hadn’t had a lot of practise in heels anyway so I was definitely wobbly so Boss man had to slip his arm round me to hold me steady.  It felt rather nice, I mean two guys had told me I was beautiful which was heady stuff in itself but combined with knowing I looked really good in the designer dress and the wine I did something totally daring.  Something I’d never dare do sober, I put my lips to his and kissed him.  When we broke I murmured “Thank you.”  Whether it was for the dress, the compliment, the meal or the kiss or everything I won’t have liked to say.  “I think you’ve had far too much wine this evening.”  I pouted, “Put her over your knee.”  Gerald joked.  I rather liked that idea but Boss man sat me down in a chair before collecting Maria.  “I’ve arranged for Maria to see you safely home.”  I put my tongue out at him.  “You really need to discipline your staff.”  Gerald was openly laughing at Boss man’s embarrassment.

They left together and Maria soon emerged “So are you so drunk I need a wheel barrow, a taxi or shall we take our normal 60 foot limo and split the taxi money?”  “You were paid to see me home so we’ll take the 60 foot limo and you can see me to my door, in these heels I might not make it otherwise.”  We caught the 94 home.  Mother looked doubtful at me and then saw Maria, “Well at least I know she is safe when she is with you.”  I waved bye to both Marias and crawled up to bed.

Next morning I dug round my wardrobe until I found one of my old kilts that I‘d shortened in a moment of daring but never actually got the courage up to wear in public until now.  Well public, it was rare that anyone came into our office so it wasn’t really that public.  Thought I was beautiful did he but didn’t care to admit it.  I thought his kisses were nice as well but I didn’t care to admit it either.  I thrust the skirt into my bag, and pulled on a pair of jeans to go to work.

I arrived twenty minutes early and pulled out one of the bags that had underwear in it.  Jessica had remarked once that if you wanted to get a boy’s attention at the dance on a Saturday night and keep it then a short skirt with stubby suspenders and stockings underneath were the things to wear.  All you had to do was let him run his hands up your short skirt and once he’d found you were wearing stockings he was lost.  You had to be careful though that you only let the one you were interested in run their hands over you or you’d be fending off every male in sight so no jiving with a swirling skirt.

I quickly found the belt and hooked it in place, then drew up a pair of black stockings that were there as well.  They looked perfect to me, they even had the same designer name on them as the belt.  There was a matching thong was still in its original store bag that tied at the sides.  Useful if you had slightly larger or smaller hips I suppose.  There was even a matching bra so I switched it with my slightly grubby off white one.  I examined myself in the window, and after tugging my kilt down on my hips I looked quite respectable from the front.  Well not exactly respectable, the skirt was far too short for that but you know what I mean, at least the stocking tops didn’t quite show.

I had the kettle already boiled when Boss man arrived, so it only took a moment or two to make him a coffee.  As he was drinking it I bent over with my back to him to pick up the post and heard a sharp intake of breath.  I turned “You OK?  I’d ask you if there was anything I can do but I promised my boss I wouldn’t use those words.”  “Come here.  Am I allowed to touch?”  “Well I don’t get any more kisses unless you do.” And looking at him provocatively I trotted across to him and he sneaked his arm round me and pulled me down onto his lap before lifting my skirt up my thigh to uncover my stocking stops.  “Let me guess, part of the Agency purchase?”  I leant into him and kissed him on the nose.  “Right first time.”  “Oh what am I going to do with you?”  “Well I could make a few suggestions.”  “Back into something more respectable and get a pair of bacon sandwiches one each then we’ll talk.”

Just as it was getting interesting as well, still I notice food does come before everything else in importance.  I returned with the bacon sandwiches.  “I assume you don’t want to take all the clothes home?”  Mom would have a fit if she saw some of them so “Not a good idea.”  “Right then I suggest we take them back to my place and we’ll telework there on Wednesdays and Thursdays, the other days of the week we’ll work in the office and you can sit quietly in the corner.  Oh and can you get hold of Maria and Clair and find out if they could manage a few dinner parties for me.  I really ought to return a few invitations I’ve had over the years.”  I called Clair and left a message, when she called back she asked could she and Maria look over the kitchen?  We were sat in his car heading to his home and Boss man said fine tell them to come on over.

I’d just finished carrying my loot upstairs when they arrived.  Clair inspected the kitchen and wanted to know how many she’d be cooking for and when.  “I thought eight people at a date and time when it suits you and Maria best.  I wondered if you supervised the first one then for the others perhaps you could set them off and Maria serve?”  “What about china and cutlery?”  Boss man looked blank.  Clair turned to me “I think you’d better go and choose a dinner service or two, with matching tablecloths and flatware.”  I looked at Boss man “Do it tomorrow, we can look on a web site or two today to short list the patterns then you can do the final decision by yourself tomorrow.”  I was in shock, I mean it’s the sort of thing you dream about being able to choose a dinner service or two but to actually do it, Oh My God.  We set a date of the following week for the dinner party and Clair and Maria disappeared.

“So do I get a fashion show?”  “I guess so, shall we go upstairs since I’ve hung it all up there in the spare room?”  It felt weird leading him upstairs sort of exciting and not quite what I ought to be doing.  I could feel his eyes on my butt, perhaps I should go on a diet and lose three pounds, I’d try for ten but I’d never make it.

I’d never thought of myself as an exhibitionist before but after the first few outfits I found myself flaunting my body to his obvious interest.  Between us we settled on which outfits he’d most like to see me in when we were by ourselves.  He gave me a small pay raise as well for being decorative round the home office as he put it.

When Maria and I got together at the weekend she told me that Gerald had gone back to her section of restaurant every night whilst he was in town so she got more in tips that week than anyone else.  She’d programmed her smart phone to print receipts directly on the restaurant printer which was wireless instead of clueless like me.  So for business guys she sometimes printed them out a receipt that was for the total they paid including tips but itemised differently so they could claim the entire amount which explained Gerald’s raised eyebrows.  Some nights he’d come in with a party of suits and she’d just concentrate on serving them quietly and efficiently and some nights he’d come in by himself and Maria would slip her knickers off and drop them in his pocket so he’d know he could slid his finger up her.  “But doesn’t it feel...”  I didn’t know quite how to put it.  “I get a kick out of it knowing how rich and powerful he is and thinking it’s me he’s chosen to slip his finger up, besides he tips very well those nights.  I fantasized about going back to the hotel with him but I’d never be able to explain it to my mom.”

The dinner parties went exceptionally well.  I tend to stay in the background a little in a social situation and talking one on one wasn’t so bad.  Maria’s advice about asking people about themselves seemed to work well.  Compared to the others my dresses were sort of average, so I didn’t seem to be competing with anyone and the wives accepted me.  The guys were sort of normal guys so a quick lean forward at the right time to give them a glimpse of nipple or brushing my breasts against their body as I slid by them had them eating out of my hand in no time at all.  Boss man seemed pleased anyway and he was paying.

Clair got some good leads from doing them including one for a wedding.  Can you imagine an every detail must be perfect money no object wedding?  Maria and I plus four others from the gang who would be waitressing at the wedding reception had to go to the bride’s dressmakers to have our outfits made to measure.  Not only made to measure but each one was subtly different to match the girl who would be wearing it, pale blue silk to coordinate with brides and bridesmaid’s dresses, flared mid thigh skirt worn with seamed white silk stockings underneath and white petticoat to push the skirt out.  You either bunny dipped or gave Uncle Fred a heart attack when you bent forward.  The underwear was out of this world.  Maria and I had a second outfit made each, can you imagine the bride organizing a perfect stag night?  Well that’s what our second outfits were for.  They were in black chiffon with white lace trim and even racier than the first outfits.  They covered the essentials but in such a way as to suggest they might blow away or fall apart at any second.  Practically every detail of our lacy white underwear was visible.  I wasn’t certain but Maria thought since we would only be serving it would just add to the atmosphere, besides the pay was exceptionally good.

We did the hen night first in our pale blue outfits, sit down meal to do the food justice then the group moved to the spacious family room with lots of sofas scattered round.  We fed five guys in the kitchen, four bodyguards and someone’s boyfriend.  There were the traditional gifts intended to embarrass the bride, they certainly embarrassed me.  Cupless corsets and other bedroom underwear, I mean can you imagine condoms with ribs and things on them?  It was the first time I’d come across them.  Of course everyone insisted the bride had to try the gifts in front of everyone.   Well the corset maybe but the studded condoms?    She put on the cupless corset and that’s when I worked out what the pink things were.  One over each nipple, they had a little rubber bulb that you squeezed the air out of before placing it over the nipple to hold it on, with a built in vibrator.  They looked totally obscene.  Maria sneaked one and we tried it in the kitchen later on.  God the vacuum engorged the nipple, they felt just sensational never mind what they looked like.  The bride asked how she was supposed to try the studded condoms, would someone volunteer to put two fingers in one and push them in and out of her?  When the laughter had died down “No we’ve arranged a special treat for you.”  The MC asked me to collect the bodyguards from the kitchen.

Each one was stripped then lay back on the carpet whilst a very red faced bride was talked into sliding a condom over each one before sitting on the guy and doing three thrusts on each.  It seemed to be just a token reluctance as she didn’t seem to need much persuasion to me.  The bridesmaids and some other guests followed and there was much discussion about which offer the most sensation.  They took eventually a vote and one was chosen as the most effective.  Personally I thought it was the size of the underlying cock that made more impact rather than the ribbing.  Maria wanted to try them but I suggested some other time and place.  Apparently two of the guys had worked in a strip joint for women if you can believe such a thing, I mean who’d pay money to see naked guys?  So with them leading the way there was much competition to see whose bodyguard was the sexiest with the bodyguards being ordered to first get dressed again then taking their clothes off for the ladies whilst dancing.  God they were beautifully muscled and extremely naughty eventually when they’d all danced and were draped round in their nothings the bride announced a special game.  Looking at them, rather than staring at them with my tongue hanging out as Maria was, I thought I might put a few dollars to one side and visit a male strip club sometime with the gang for a laugh.

Apparently the modestly dressed girl was one of the bride’s father’s secretaries who was getting married shortly and she was offered a prize, if she could pick out her boy friend’s cock she would be given a house of her dreams, or at least the choice from a builder’s catalogue of new houses she was presented with or one to the same price.  The rules were she could only touch his cock and when she was sure which it was she had to be penetrated by it.  All she had to do was pick it out blindfolded.  If her boy friend spoke then she lost.  She looked a little embarrassed at the idea but was told her boy friend was in the kitchen if she wanted to discuss it with him first.

She came back a few minutes later leading boy friend by the hand to great applause and cheers.  Two girls helped boy friend off with his clothes and he stood in line with the four bodyguards whilst the girls made comments about their bodies.  Maria and I carried round trays of champagne.  Charlene was taken out of the room to be prepared.  The bride’s attention to detail knew no limits the shorter males were supplied with sandals, some with thicker soles than others so all the cocks were at the same height.  Then three of us worked our way down the line.  The first girl fluffed the cocks hard, then I sprayed testicles with a male perfume and finally Maria came along with a bowl of flavoured whipped cream.

The bride shuffled a pack of cards and then arranged the men in line in the order of the cards.  Two girls helped Charlene back into the room dressed in a short silk night dress that looked bridal to me with a matching eye mask so she couldn’t see what she was doing.  They gave her a glass of champagne before holding a magic wand against her crotch until she was almost writhing before leading her forward.  Tentatively she touched each cock in turn.  She seemed surprised that they were all the same height and she seemed a little unsure of herself but after being coaxed to handle each one a little more firmly eventually settled on the one at the end.  Maria and I exchanged glances, it wasn’t boyfriend’s.  The girl with the microphone asked her if she was sure and Charlene nodded confidently.  “Why not kiss the tip?”  “Now take it in your mouth to be doubly sure?”  She was urged, and soon the bodyguard was being given a blow job as Charlene licked off the flavoured whipped cream, and he ejaculated.  At the taste of his sperm she stopped “This isn’t the one, can I choose another?”  “Go ahead.”  She slowly worked her way down the line again.  She fondled boy friend for a moment or two then moved onto the black bodyguard next to him before bending forward to kiss the tip hesitantly.  Everyone in the room held their breath.  More confidentially she started to lick the whipped cream off his length before confidently blowing him.  “Certain?”  She nodded.

The MC slid Charlene’s tiny sheer panties down and told her to bend forward over a chair presenting her delectable bottom in the air.  Two girls moved to restrain boy friend, a third girl gave him a distracting blow job whilst a fourth kissed him deeply on the lip to distract him further whilst a black cock penetrated Charlene.  As he got into his rhythm Charlene realised it wasn’t her boyfriend she was having sex with and went bright red but we could see her orgasm in spite of herself.

“Now would you like to just tell Charlene your name?”  He spoke and Charlene collapsed on the carpet and curled up in a natal position and wept.  The MC indicated to the guys they should shuffle round before coaxing Charlene to try again.  It was the fourth attempt before she finally picked out, blew and had sex with her boyfriend in front of everyone.  They way they seemed to blend and relate was much more erotic than anything I’ve ever seen, I even caught Maria with her hand under her skirt as she watched them.

After the game the evening became one of naked men and dressed women dancing, fondling each other, kissing and drinking.  Maria and I just tried to be none judgmental and carried on serving the drinks and nibble food.  As I was returning with an empty tray I overheard the bride talking to the modest girl and her boyfriend.  “I’m so glad you decided to play you were definitely the hit of the party.”  “Yes but I didn’t realise it would be so hard to tell them apart or that I’d end up having sex with someone other than my boyfriend.”   “He looks rather delicious to me, can I try him out?  An extra $50,000 to furnish the house if you let me try him out and you have sex with the other two guys you haven’t indulged tonight.”  There was a hesitation in her voice “It sounds so mercenary taking money for sex.”  “But your boy friend’s interested just look at his tent.”  Not surprising as she’d been quietly giving him a hand job whilst talking to them both.  “Just make sure your gift registry has more than $50,000 worth of gifts and I’ll see to the rest.  After all what’s two more after having sex once with one guy and twice with another, you’ve even blown one of them.”  I almost spoke and warned her not to do it but the idea of starting married life debt free was too much temptation for her.  After exchanging a look with her boy friend she hesitantly nodded her agreement.

The bride waved her hand and the two naked guys whom hadn’t been selected came across.  It was obvious why she’d skipped the one he was rather well endowed so easy to pick out even by touch when blind folded.  The two guys took her out onto the dance floor and slow danced with her between them kissing and fondling her to get her aroused.  Meanwhile the bride with her attendant bridesmaids guided boy friend to a mattress covered with a duvet at one side where she kissed him deeply and the bridesmaids caressed the pair of them.

I disappeared into the kitchen for another tray of chocolate delicacies.  By the time I’d returned fluffer was on her knees in front of the larger guy and was working a ribbed condom over him to recreate the potent mixture that had been chosen as the most effective by the bride and bridesmaids earlier on.  A quick squirt of lubricant and Charlene was lifted in the air and lowered onto the lethal combination.  She wrapped her legs round his waist, behind her fluffer just poured more lubricant in her hand then wrapped her fingers round the second cock.  For a moment I couldn’t think why and then it clicked, I know she’d agreed to having sex with them both but not surely at the same time.  I glanced over to the bride who was lying on her back being serviced by boyfriend’s long gentle strokes that looked as if his partner’s pleasure was important to him, she certainly looked as if she was enjoying it.  The bridesmaids shielded Charlene from his sight and used their hands to enhance both parties pleasure.

The next night was the stag night, totally different food, big T-Bone steaks with few stinking vegetables and red wine.  Maria and I did our best to avoid having too many hands thrust up our skirts, as we flirted and served their food but I noticed Maria coming up behind one or two of the cuter ones and resting her breasts either side of the back of their necks.  Mine aren’t that big so I couldn’t try it although I was tempted.  Hidden in the kitchen the bride and bridesmaids were in a flutter, the entertainment was running twenty minutes late.  “What can we do to keep them occupied for twenty minutes until the girls arrive?”  All eyes suddenly swivelled towards Maria and myself.  “A thousand each to keep them occupied for twenty minutes.” Came the plea.  “How?”  “Well they’re all expecting to be fucked tonight.”  Oh God no ran through my head.  Maria took me by hand, “We can do this, we start with a very slow bump and grind strip and see how far we can stretch it.”  She consulted with the bride about what music they had since that was controlled from the kitchen.  

Hesitantly I let her lead me into the party room.  “The regular entertainment has been delayed for a little while so we’re going to do a little song and dance routine to entertain you.”   We started with a tap dance routine from my earliest school days which at least I knew and relaxed me.  Then Maria started to undress me except that she was kissing me deeply at the same time.  “If you don’t want to get raped or gang banged then tonight we’re going to be lesbian and give them the show of their lives.”  She hissed to me as we slow danced closer together.  What on earth did lesbians do?  Not having any experience we sort of made it up as we went along trying to think what would appeal to the guys.  Mind you we took great care to toss any clothing to the back of the stage as once the mob got their hands on it I feared it was lost and no way was I going lose those lovely precious items of boudoir wear, they were reserved for my bottom drawer and honeymoon.  The groans, calls and glimpses of attention we were getting were very encouraging.  By the second number Maria was on her knees in front of me rubbing her face from side to side across my knickers.  Finally we ended up on the carpet 69ing with Maria’s tongue working against my slit trying to provide visible stimulation to the guys and holding off at the same time to give the entertainment girls time to arrive.  I don’t know how long we spent licking each other out but eventually I felt Maria quivering beneath me which set me off as well to great cheering and applause. I looked up exhausted and saw many of the guys now had girls in night wear sitting on their laps running their hands over each other’s bodies.  It looked to me like an orgy was about to start.

Wordlessly we picked up our clothes and slipped over to where the groom was sat.  As instructed we led him out of the door and into a nearby room where a king sized bed had been installed.  By the side the bride and bridesmaids were getting up from their Sybians and looking very aroused.  “Hi Paul I thought you might like a foursome before you become a respectable married man.”  Her eyes twinkled as she added looking at Maria and I speculatively “Or a six way might be fun.”  Maria and I dashed out the door to the assembled laughter.  We got dressed in the kitchen and quietly waited for the cab to take us home.

At the wedding reception I was surprised to see many of the girls who’d been at the stag night in elegant formal dress.  The bride who was supervising the final details caught my eye.  “They aren’t prostitutes or anything, it’s just that Paul’s friends are getting to the age when they are likely to marry soon and they are very comfortably off.  For the chance of an introduction to them, spending two or three hours seducing them, then to be able to charm them at the wedding reception many girls would give their eye teeth.  One or two might even pull it off.  Oh by the way thank you for your inspired performance at the stag party.”  I was surprised to say the least both by the words of thanks she’d been so demanding up until now and that some girls would go that far, but thinking about it I knew one or two myself who’d do it in a flash.  Oh well how the other half lives, perhaps Maria and I should have joined in the fun at the stag night after all.  “And Charlene?”  I heard myself asking.  “She’ll be fine, a mortgage free house isn’t a bad way to start a marriage.  She’s very practical and she’ll have memories to reflect on besides daddy has said she and boyfriend can use our Paris apartment for a month after her wedding.  Daddy will arrange a business meeting at the end of the month so we can pay her return airfare and the airline will switch a first class ticket to two business class tickets on request.  To be honest I’m rather jealous of her boyfriend he certainly knows his way round a girl’s body.”  I wasn’t sure I could have handled it myself.

Still my very favourite meal was one we had with just the four of us, Gerald, Boss man, myself and Maria.  Gerald was back in town for a few days and Boss man decided to invite him round for a meal after discussing it with Maria.  Maria and I decided to wear our stag night outfits to give them a treat.  After eating and drinking far too much wine I curled up on Boss man’s lap and Maria curled up on Gerald’s lap and we talked about all sorts of things whilst Boss man’s hand slipped down the front of my plunge neckline dress copping a good feel and Gerald’s hands were roaming under Maria’s short skirt.

I must confess though that although wearing nice clothes at his place is pleasant I was never quite sure if it’s the clothes or me he’s interested in but lately in the office he’s been known to get up from his desk and command me to  “Come here.”  Dressed in my normal office garb I trot across and he enfolds me in his arms, strokes my hair and tells me I’m special.  He’s quite mad of course but you know what they say you have to humour the insane so I daren’t disagree with him dare I, besides for a few moments I can pretend perhaps I am special after all.