The Canal Scheme by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author. All copies must be of the complete document. ©2015 Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not.

Luv Karen

Sam walked up to the kitchen door and knocked. A face popped out, "If you're looking for work we've got none." "No I'm the new owner." "Oh in that case we're looking for some pay." Sam closed his eyes for a moment. "Find me the steward can you?" "You'd best come in and take a seat, he went up to Hillside farm this morning but shouldn't be long. Well if he wants his dinner that is, I suppose you'll be wanting summat as well?" Sam agreed that would be nice.

"It's not a bad estate, just needs a bit of investment." "The girls were saying they haven't been paid." "They've a roof over their heads and food in their belly, which is more than can be said for a lot on the estate. I needed some cash money for next year's seed." "Show me what you think are the most profitable investments and we'll put them in a priority order you never know we might even find the money for one or two."

Sam tried a gentle stroll round the estate. It looked not too bad to his inexpert eye. One or two things could do with patching up but things could be worst, now then the white cottage with the roses in front that was the one. An officer's widow was she, well perhaps she'd be able to sort some things out better than he.

"Mrs. Woodward? Mention to her her new landlord would like a word." The maid dipped a curtsy and went back to announce him. "If it's about the rent, I can pay you next week on the quarter day." "That and other things, may I come in?" She led him into the parlour and took a seat so he might be seated. "What can I do for you?" He closed the door behind him before sitting down. "From what I hear there are one or two on the estate that could do with a bit of help. I don't have a wife and I don't want to get the reputation of having an open hand. You know the estate so if I provide you with some funds and we'll say your cottage becomes rent free since you'll be an estate worker as it were, can you deal with them? I'm particularly interested in making sure those with child get enough to eat but I want them self-sufficient as well, so I'd like you to hire a man about the house who can teach them about raising a pig or chickens. I'll stand the nonsense but I don't want to hear my name involved and no I'm not interested in a wife. Oh you'd better hire a second one as a groom with a pony and trap to get about with." She looked at him and the purse he held out to her. "But what'll I say to explain why you came round." "I was reminding you the rent is overdue that should mark me down as a miser nicely." She nodded her agreement. "I'll arrange for the same amount to be paid to you each quarter, with a little more for winter."

On Sunday after the service the vicar mentioned the church roof could do with repairs. "So could a lot of other things vicar, so could a lot of other things."

"So what's he like then this new owner?" "Well. The steward was disappointed he wasn't going to get all new playthings. Ever since the squire's steward showed him his brand-new seed drill and ploughs he's been right envious. He eats in the kitchen with us for as he says there's no point in burning good wood or coal to heat the dinning room up for one, nor to dust it either. Oh and he's had us move from the attics down to the room above the kitchen so he can get more work out of us, he says he doesn't see why he should pay us to climb stairs and such, mind you it's a nicer room, and warm from the kitchen chimney." "So a miser then?" "Not really but he knows the value of his brass." "Did you hear about him visiting Mrs. Woodward all because she hadn't got round to paying her rent?" "No really?" "Really."

Somehow word got round that even if he was unmarried he wasn't quite the right type to invite to dinner etc. "Did you hear what he did with the glass house?" "No go on." "Well all them fancy plants have gone and they're growing seedlings and veg in there." "I wonder if my Alf could have a few, he always says it's better to get the seeds sprouting early then you get an early crop."

Mrs. Woodward quietly visited his tenants and pensioners and helped with simple advice mixed with a handful of small coins to the wives when times were bad. Hesper Garland's parents died of fever, so the steward sought advice. "Rent the farm out quickly to someone else and send Hesper round to the kitchen door." So Hesper joined in with the other three maids.

"It's not right." "What's he done now?" "Nothing, Mrs. Woodward is offering to rent out a couple of the new ploughs and a seed drill to his tenants." Sam liked that one, instructions had been sent to Mrs. Woodward, they were paid for and the rental fee was very low but it sounded better than if he provided them for free. That way each tenant had to make their mind up if it was worthwhile.

The harvest wasn't as good as it could have been generally in the district. Those that had stayed with the old methods had a worse harvest than those who'd used the new seed drill. Something happened at the big house and practically all the staff were dismissed to save money. Even the squire cut back on his hunters. Molly decided that if Sam was going to cut back it wasn't going to be her. She stepped back into him whilst she was dusting and as he caught her round the waist to hold her steady she twisted round and daringly kissed him full on the lips. For a moment there was no reaction then she felt his lips soften. Thank god she thought. It was one thing to throw yourself at someone but quite another to be rejected.

That night as he climbed into bed he found Hesper there already. "What's going on? Today suddenly I've been groped by Beccy, kissed by Molly, and brushed up against by Liz and now I find you in my bed?" "I'm saving you money. Hot water for your hot water bottle is expensive." He gave her a look of disbelief. "The big house has laid off staff, the squire has sold two of his beloved hunters, so we thought with the poor harvest you'd been laying off staff as well, so we thought we'd better remind you how nice it is to have us around." "And if I should cut staff everyone wants to make sure it's not them?" "Well its not as if you have money, you don't keep a stable or anything. If we want to go to market, we have to cadge a ride off Mrs. Woodward's Oliver and his cart." He leant over and gave her a kiss and ran his hands over her nightdress, she took a deep breathe in as his hands cupped her breasts and he nibbled the back of her neck and ears. Then he rolled over leaving her in a state of half arousal.

Next morning as he dressed he asked her if she could read and write. "And do sums." She replied. "I'll show you the ledgers then." They entered the study and he brought forth the ledgers. The first was the estate income. It was up over the previous year. Then he passed her the expenditure ledger and she examined the two together. "But you haven't spent a quarter of the income. Even the steward thought he might be out of a job." "The old owner spent most of his time in London so the steward is probably used to seeing most of the income disappearing and since I wouldn't buy him lots of new toys he thinks the income will suffer." "But it hasn't has it? It's Mrs. Woodward renting out the toys?" He grinned "and keep that to yourself." "But why?" "Tenants don't like being told what to do but this year one or two experimented and rented the new seed drill and ploughs. Notice Mrs. Warren's new hat on Sunday?" "Oh you think the other wives will coax their husbands so they can buy new finery?" "I'm positive of it. Mrs. Woodward will have two seed drills next year available for rent."

He passed her another ledger which she looked through. "That one is how much you're worth." "So much?" "I had the new tenants pay for the improvements your dad had made and you're to receive half the harvest income this year, should make a nice dowery. It'll be available when you want it but not I think for a trip to London to snare yourself an earl."

"How did you come to own the property?" "Oh I noticed each winter I'd get a cough which pretty well lasted the winter. When I went out with a scarf round my head against the snow I noticed there was always a brown mark round the mouth where I'd been breathing through it. So I sold up and brought a place in the country. I've been feeling a lot healthier since I moved and going for walks I think helps rather than riding." "So you're rich then?" "I'm enough brass for the moment. Now then if I'm going to run my hands over your bodies I think we could do with some finer material so I can actually feel something."

"Well a new dress or possibly two would be acceptable but if we brought material in the village it would be round the neighbourhood quick as a wink that something disreputable involving us was happening so no thank you we have to live here after all." "I need to see a solicitor about some legal matters so that means going to town. If you brought something there?" Hesper grinned at him "Now that would be different, twelve miles away they'll have never seen me before will they? But I'm not much of a hand at sewing, Liz has a sister who's good with her hands." "Add her to the payroll, same pay as the rest of you and I'll raise all your pay by two pounds a year. Now go and reassure the others but don't let on just how much I'm worth."

Oliver was hired and Hesper was given a purse with more money in it than she'd ever seen before. Oliver was dispatched to the ale house whilst Hesper looked through the market stalls. Each bit of material was carefully examined and priced. Then she took herself off to the drapers and examined all their stock. "Are you just looking all day, if so you can do that down the marketplace." "No I've some money to spend." "I've some remnants in the back you might be able to afford." The clerk said looking at her shabby clothing. "Bring them out then." She looked carefully over the remnants before deciding what she wanted. "You'll not be wanting credit I hope?" Hesper pulled out her purse and drew out a couple of sovereigns.

The owner who had been quietly watching stepped forward and examined them closely. "Right miss with these you could buy a dress length each of half the lower shelf." "I'm after at least a dozen dress lengths, some shirting and something for nightwear." "Albert get the lady a cup of tea. Now are these for yourself or someone else?" "Both. I noticed some cloth in the marketplace that looked reasonably priced." "Did I explain about our wholesale rates?" Hesper was happy as she left with an empty purse but far more material than she'd expected. The shop owner was happy as well with the size of the order. Albert followed her out carrying the brown paper wrapped parcels to Oliver's cart. When he returned he got told "Let that be a lesson to you lad, never judge a customer by their clothes. She's spent more brass today than many a fine lady." "But it wasn't so profitable selling it to her at wholesale?" "No well but we haven't paid the invoice for much of it and we've made a nice profit without tying up our capital. Now the Ralph's account is still unpaid after seven months, dresses well, but slow payers."

Sam was quietly sunning himself, he could get used to life in the country, it certainly gave him time to think things through. The maids were attractive especially in their new dresses and were quite content to let him run his hands over their bodies which suited him since he didn't want the problem of babies floating around. Hesper was getting especially skilled at rubbing his neck and shoulders and her new flimsy night-rails were very tempting. He was pleased with his new shirts as well, as Liz's sister worked her magic. He had an idea that some of the material found its way to Liz's family and others but he could live with that.

Hesper brought him a letter. She'd brought it back with the shopping. His great-Uncle had died and left him his worldly goods including a house in London. It was time to get back to work he thought and London would be the place to gather up the funds. He spoke to Hesper, "I'm off to London for some time but I think it might be nice to arrange a thank you feast and dance for the tenants, speak to Mrs. Woodward and see if she'll organise something whilst I'm gone. I think you should be able to clear enough floor for a dance somehow. Oh and here's a purse that should cover it." Hesper looked at him and blinked. Next morning when she was about to ask him a hundred questions, she found he'd already left. When she discussed the matter with Mrs. Woodward and the amount of money she'd been left they both agreed it would be a pity to spend it all on a single feast and dance, a dance per month with a buffet supper? Sounded as if that might hold more possibilities. Especially as Hesper thought of the local farmer's sons now she had her dowery.

Sam carried two rugs to wrap round himself on the long coach journey. He'd thought about taking a cheaper outside seat but the weather looked bad to him. The bench seat facing the horses were already taken by what looked like a beauty on her way to London with maid and chaperon. A girl stepped into the coach before him, then he stepped up, oh well he'd be in the middle. The girl took one rug from him and laid it out on the seat before taking her place in the corner. Oh well he didn't mind too much at least he'd be warm sat in the middle, another girl slipped in behind him and took the other corner seat. The second rug he unfolded and two pairs of hands tugged it across the three of them.

The stagecoach rolled slowly forward lurching slightly as the wheels climbed out of a dip or rolled over a hump in the road. The beauty had cast one glance at him before deciding he wasn't of interest and turned her head to stare out of the window. The chaperon produced a pillow and closed her eyes, the maid in the middle closed her eyes and decided that she'd pass the time fantasying about Sam especially as she'd noticed the quality of the cloth he was wearing. Her stuck up beauty might not be interested but just the sound of his voice sent shivers up her spine. Her hand slipped over her breast and as she warmed herself up and she absentmindedly massaged her breast. Sam closed his eyes at the sight but the maid on his right slid her hand over his thigh under the rug possessively. He felt another small movement and the girl on his left slipped her head under his arm and rested her small hand on the other thigh. Sam slid his arms round both maids and hugged them gently to him. Well at least he wasn't going to get chilled on this trip no matter what the weather was like outside.

Hours later they pulled up at an inn. "Twenty minutes." Called the guard. The beauty, chaperon and maid were out of the coach on the instant. "Aren't you going to get something to eat?" "What with? We was going to go outside but with the sleet and rain we didn't fancy our chances so we spent our last penny on inside tickets. Besides the service will be slow and the food too hot to eat." "Why?" "So it can go back in the pot for the next coach of course. You've never worked in an inn have you? Give us your money." She took a few coins and stepped out of the coach disappearing towards a cottage on the other side of the road. Sam stepped out to stretch his legs as did the other maid. "Look lively there." The guard called to the remaining passenger. There was no response. "Give me a hand get him down will you?" The unresponsive passenger was passed down. He looked quite cold possibly dead to Sam. "Is he dead?" "Possibly, he was warned about travelling without a greatcoat on in this bad weather. We'll just leave him on the bench inside the door. He might recover." "Shouldn't we do a little more?" "I'm not a doctor. You're not a doctor to pronounce him dead. If you want to get to London this side of Christmas we'll just leave him there for someone else to sort out otherwise we'll be waiting for doctors, magistrates, they'll be arguments about which parish we were in when he died, so who has to pay for his burial and all the rest, no best slip away quietly." They walked back to the coach and hoped no one would notice the passenger on the bench with his hat pulled down over his eyes.

Tilly climbed in last, holding her apron up as she climbed in. The chaperon was complaining bitterly about the food. "Not only did they serve it slowly but it was far too hot to eat when it arrived and now we're bundled back into the coach if you please." Tilly quietly offered a baked potato each and a few slices of lamb to Sam and the other maid sat in the corner. "There's a lump of cheese and a bit of bread as well." Sam motioned her to offer something to the other passengers. "I couldn't possibly eat with my fingers nor could Miss Garland." Their maid though wasn't quite so particular and accepted a lump of cheese and a torn off bit of loaf.

The bad weather delayed them and meant more people were staying at the inns, when they got to the inn where they were due to stay the night there were simply no rooms left. Sam wasn't sure what to do but Tilly asked him if he could drive the coach. "Well yes I suppose I could. I've certainly driven a dray." She turned and spoke to the driver "Could we continue if Sam were to drive? It's a full moon." The driver looked doubtful. Sam handed him a crown, "I'm sure you've let others drive before me." "And it would be nice and warm inside the coach." Added Tilly. The guard looked on "I could keep an eye on him. Besides the more distance we put between ourselves and the inn where we put the passenger off the happier I'll be."

Sam walked the horses for the first mile or two until the guard mentioned "It's not a bad road so take them to the trot." Eventually they were cantering along the turnpike.

When they reached Hatfield it was only to find that no team was available. Tilly looked in the stables and saw a perfectly matched set of grays being groomed. "I bet they could get to London fast." The groom looked up, "Aye they could, Lord Wetherald's pride and joy they are. I'm to lead them back down to London shortly." Tilly's coaxing smile and a crown reluctantly given from the chaperon's purse had them hitched up to the coach with the groom driving them for as he said he daren't let anyone else drive them. Tilly sat by his side chatting to him all the way into London.

"Now where are you two off to?" "We need to find a job quickly." A motherly looking woman perked up her ears at this. "Well I dare say I need some staff so I might as well hire you." "You come along with me my dears, you don't want to go working for no single gentleman. It wouldn't be right." A scruffy urchin, Charlie, scooped up their bags and the two rugs and dropped them on his handcart. "Where to gov?" "Looks like the matter is decided." Declared Tilly resting her hand on the side of the cart as Charlie pushed it away. The motherly looking woman scowled as they departed but then brightened up as another stagecoach arrived. "You're best away from old mother Sykes. She's a look out for one of the brothels." Flo looked shocked, "But she seems so nice." "Part of her stock in trade." "First stop the lawyers for the keys. My great-uncle left me a house." "Cheapside you'll be wanting for the lawyers that's a good way, sixpence?" Sam looked down at Charlie, "Do I look that gullible?" "You're from up north some of them are and I got to make a living gov." "Sixpence it is but you'll go with us to the lawyer's which is as you say in Cheapside, thence to the house and you'll make yourself useful at the house for the rest of the day." Charlie thought about it "Food an all?" "Food an all." "Throw in an extra farthing and I'm your man." Sam nodded his agreement.

"It's a bit grand isn't it?" Tilly stood looking at the rather large house in front of her. "We'll need help for that lot." declared Flo. "I'm all yours for..." "Thank you for the offer Charlie but I think we can manage." "I'll just take the cart round the back then?" "And then we'll look for something to feed you on."

They inspected the house and Sam indicated the two maids might either have one of the guest rooms since he didn't plan to entertain or sleep in the attics. Well as Tilly said the chimney from the kitchen went up the guest room wall so at least it would be warmer than the attics even without a fire lit. "So can either of you cook?" "Well sort of if you don't mind living on toast." "Do I need to go to an agency then?" Tilly wrinkled her nose "let me see what I can pick up from the neighbouring servants when I go shopping." She held out her hand and Sam lifted out some coins from his purse. "See you keep a record of what you spend." "You mean writing it down and stuff?" Tilley and Flo exchanged looks of horror. "Best find someone who can read and write then hadn't you." Tilly went out to see what she could find.

The next morning Tilly came in carrying a mug of ale. "I got two maids for you." "But?" "One's in the pudding club so she got turned off early this morning without references." "The other?" "Her sister." "Bring them in."

He looked them up and down "So which is with child?" One curtsied "I am Sir." "How did it happen?" "Me and my man got carried away." "Does he know?" "Not yet." "Who is he?" "A footman called James who lives two doors down." "Can you cook?" "Yes sir." "Can either of you read and write?" "Both Becky and me can sir." "Right both of you are hired. Tell Tilly to sort you out a room each."

He scribbled a note on the back of one of his visiting cards then left the room leaving the two maids open mouthed. "I never thought he'd hire us." "Neither did I." "What will his wife say?" Tilly put her head round the door, "He ain't got one, and its up to us to make sure he doesn't feel the need. Now are you coming to find a pair of rooms? Somewhere away from his room in case the baby cries." She added thoughtfully.

Sam took a key off the hook and opened the kitchen door. "Charlie!" he yelled out. Charlie slipped down the stairs from the groom's room above the stables. "Here gov I just happened to be passing by." "I've heard that one before. Here you are lad, the key to the stable, that way you'll be able to keep your handcart safe." "You mean I can move in?" "I thought you had already." "Oh." "Take this card down to my warehouse and give it to the foreman. It's to say you get your pick of any errands or deliveries he has going." "Blimey!" "Anyway make yourself useful by keeping the kitchen coal hood full and go and find this James fellow for me and bring him back here." "Is you going to get one of them new closed ranges for the kitchen?" "Why lad?" "It'll be less coal for me to carry in."

Charlie led James to the library where Sam was looking through his ledgers. "Here you are Gov, one footman called James." Sam looked up, "You're hired with a five pound a year increase." James looked a bit taken back. "You haven't seen my references or anything." "You're called James that's good enough for me. That way I don't have to learn a new name." James thought about it for a moment, it would be nice to be called James once more, currently he was called Alfred since the third footman was always called Alfred to save the master of the house learning a new name. "I'll have to work my week's notice." "Fair enough, we're a bit short of accommodation at the moment so you'll have to share a bed." James panicked, he'd heard about position like this before, sharing the master's bed. "I'd rather not..." "Quite sure James?" Agnes spoke from the door. James turned to see her standing there. "I'll leave Agnes to show you around shall I? And since you'll be sharing a bed you'd better be wed, I expect to hear the banns on Sunday. Oh and Agnes, Charlie wants a new closed range for the kitchen so better get him one to keep him quiet."

Agnes gave him a curtsey and an odd look as she led James out into the hall. "Why are you working here now?" Sam heard him ask as he was led away. Sam was pleased to hear the banns being read the following Sunday. Now he really ought to do something about his canal scheme. Could he spread the risk and interest some other investors? Jokingly he asked Charlie if he'd like to invest his nest egg in a hole in the ground rather than bury it under the hay in the loft. "I thought it would be safe there, but if you know its hiding place?" "I was joking more talking to myself than anything else. It just seemed to be the place where you might keep it since burying it in a cobbled yard would be difficult. I could keep a purse for you in my safe if you like?" Charlie nodded, "You're on. No what you need to do is invite them round, feed them up then get them to hand over the dibs." There was sense in what Charlie said sometimes, he'd invite a few cronies round for an evening meal, a glass of wine in them and good food, he'd raise his sixty thousand in no time. He spoke to Agnes and asked if she could arrange some smart new uniforms for the maids, and his new footman, anything to impress, he mentally started to plan it out but didn't really have much idea of what was involved in planning a dinner party.

This was the life, in with the big boys. He'd come into both the title and his inheritance that morning. Now he was at a real London club playing cards for money. The hand was dealt and he had to have the rules of the game explained to him. Still, he prided himself on being a quick learner. He called for another bottle of vintage port and the four players drank their way through it as if it was water. One fell off his chair drunk. The waiters carried him away. "Need a fourth!" went up the cry, and the Earl of Daventry stepped up to the table. Lord Clayton was already sitting there. He had a daughter to launch as well this season. Still, it was only her first. He nodded to Daventry and made a comment about dressmaker's bills. Daventry was already a bit tipsy himself but damn it a greenhorn was too much temptation. Around the table the onlookers were amazed as first one player made the wrong discard and another bid wildly on a pair of twos.

The Earl's luck was in, his hands were increasingly good and the pile of money in front of him slowly grew steadily larger. That in front of the greenhorn fluctuated wildly but on the whole was increasing with his beginner's luck. The Earl looked down at his hand, four queens, the greenhorn discarded a king, the bidding rose higher and higher. "Oh I'm done with all this penny here and there lets's stake the lot." The room went silent, "Your estate against mine my lord." The Earl looked down at his cards, he couldn't lose with a hand like this could he and his luck was definitely in that evening. "I agree." He laid down his cards and tried not to feel guilty about taking milk from a baby, "Oh well done my Lord." He'd done it, that would save the family for another season. Lord Clayton spoke up "Show your hand." "Why four face cards must beat mine." He turned them over anyway to display four aces. A moan went round the club "You've won, four aces beats four of anything." "Oh jolly good." He stood then fell awkwardly, his arm at an odd angle below him. "Oh I say." "I'd better take you home my Lord and get this seen to." "Bye bye everyone thanks for a frightfully good evening." The very rich greenhorn staggered off on Lord Clayton's arm. Lord Clayton was hoping with a bit of luck he'd stay a day or two and his daughter could nurse him better. She was more comfortable nursing than dancing and it was certainly cheaper than another ball besides an extra tenner to the maids and they'd make sure he was very well cared for, Penny and Maggie tongues working together were quite something. Beyond any greenhorn's experience of that he was quite certain.

Charlie was sweeping the crossing for the toffs at the club when he heard the news. Quick as a flash once it had been confirmed he was round knocking up Mr. Howe. A window flew open upstairs "It's the middle of the night you young fool." "Yeah well it's urgent. You want your hole in the ground or not?" There was a sound of grumbling and then the sound of bolts being drawn back. "Now then my young lad it had better be good." "Lord Daventry lost everything on a hand of cards not an hour ago." "So?" "The family will be out on the street as soon as the duns and the bailiffs move in." "So." "Gawd do I have to spell it out for you. You want your money and you'd invited the marks round for a meal first, but if they were softened up by a society darling first and fed them foreign muck they'd be more likely to come across with the readies." "What do you want?" "Brass to pay the lads, a cottage for the lord and lady, and you driving sum fing the daughter wouldn't be seen dead in round the back at 7:30 in the morning not a minute later." A purse was placed in Charlie's hand "Ta Gov". Charlie roused the three kids who were sleeping over the stables in his room on the floor. He spoke to his second in command. "Right Freddy I want an army armed with handcarts at Lord Daventry's kitchen door as soon as you can. Dig out all the gang and we'll need Alf's gang and Tommy's gang as well." He handed them some of the purse. Twenty minutes later Freddy had organised a small army pushing handcarts round at Lord Daventry's kitchen door.

Charlie knocked and got the night porter. "Can you get me the daughter's maid?" he pressed a florin in the porter's hand. "At this time of night?" "There's another for you if she's here in five minutes." "All right, all right my knees aren't what they used to be and she's up in the garret so it'll take a minute or two longer than that." The door closed but Charlie was well satisfied.

Margery stood bleary eyed staring at the nipper in front of her. "You mean to tell me that he lost the lot on a game of cards." Charlie nodded. "Wait here a mo." She turned and tiptoed into the servant's hall where she found Gates looking stunned. "Mr. Gates, Sir, some nipper is telling me we'll have the duns in this morning, is it true?" "Every word." "Can we do anything?" "I don't know, Margery, bring the nipper in here he must have a reason for telling you." "Follow me." Charlie found himself in the servant's hall in front of the butler. "Right lad what do you want?" "To spirit the daughter and her dresses away before they comes. Mr. Howe needs someone to smooth a group of marks no he culled them potential investors." Charlie was proud of that phrase full of long words. "What about the rest of the family?" "If I get the girl then Mr. Howe has agreed to house them in a cottage in the country." "If only we could get all their belongings away as well." "You could sell them to me." Gates looked down his nose. "Well I've a fiver and if you wrote me a bill of sale for the house contents I could have them all away before morning. That way I could flog them and you'd all get paid." "Can you do it? Still what's there to lose. We lose everything anyway. Fetch me pen and ink." Gates disappeared upstairs then came back down five minutes later. "Right you are lad signed by his Lordship himself, witnessed by me and dated yesterday to avoid problems." Charlie opened the kitchen door and gave a low whistle, an army of urchins entered. "Right everything you can carry on to the handcarts and back to Mr. Howe's warehouse, quiet now we don't want the watch involved."

Margery quietly bundled up the precious dresses in sheets then carried them downstairs. "Pity they can't manage the piano, she'll be lost without it." She remarked to the butler. "Well they can't but I'll get half a dozen footmen out of bed and set them on loading it onto a handcart and giving the lads a hand pushing."

Charlie turned back to the butler, "Summat else, you got some sort of foreigner that does fancy food?" "John-Pierre?" "Yeah that sounds foreign enough, I'd best see him an all." John-Pierre was dug out from his slumbers and with great difficulty Gates tried to indicate he was to go with Charlie in sign language. Charlie was more direct. He picked up the pans from the kitchen and carried them to the hand cart. Gates gave him a hand. Mystified John-Pierre walked alongside his precious kitchen utensils. Becky showed him to a guest room on his arrival and he seemed content after inspecting the new kitchen range.

A drunk on his way home later saw a grand piano being manhandled down the alleyways and immediately swore to give up drinking second rate port, he'd only drink proper vintage after this. At five o'clock a half asleep lordship and his lady wife were bundled into a cab together with her maid and deposited at a coaching house where Freddy paid for four tickets haggling over the price since he was only a nipper travelling with his gran. By five thirty they were on their way out of London, the old folks inside with Freddy and the maid on top. Exhausted Charlie thought he'd done his bit it was up to the rest now so he curled up in front of the Mr. Howe's kitchen fire.

"Rise and shine." Margery attempted to get Perdita out of bed. There was a moan from under the cover. "Ten o'clock of the morning and you've a beau waiting to take you up just as soon as you're dressed." "Which beau?" "Forgot his name but your mother will have something to say if you're not dressed and downstairs immediately." Perdita crawled out of bed and Margery had her dressed in double quick time and downstairs towards the kitchen door. There was hammering on the front door but Gates stood by the door to the kitchens and smiled benevolently at her. "Your young man is in the mews Miss." Half awake Perdita looked for the hall clock and saw it was missing, "Where's the clock?" The butler and Margery practically carried her outside, one exclaiming it had been moved into another room and the other it had been sent off for repair.

Perdita looked at them both oddly before standing in front of the rather shabby two wheeler that Mr. Howe had brought over for transport. "He's not a beau, I've never seen him before in my life." Gates reached over and lifted her up on to the cabriolet, Margery clambered up behind. "Not bad not bad at all, before eight o'clock you did well." Mr. Howe guided the horses out of the mews as a group of four rough men entered and approached the kitchen door. "What's going on?" "Your father lost everything in a game of cards last night and the duns and bailiffs are moving in. You're being spirited away before been thrown out penniless on the street." "Pater would never do such a thing!" "He did you know, why else was Gates so keen to get you away." "Oh." Perdita looked to the left at the crowd hammering on the front door as they escaped to the right.

"But why am I being carried off like this?" "Charlie will explain all in good time." "Charlie?" "Wait and see." When they arrived they entered through the kitchen door and saw Charlie asleep on the rug by the fire. "Rise and shine young Charlie." "This is Charlie?" "Yeah missus I'm Charlie wot got you away safely." Perdita looked puzzled. "She don't even know what time of day it is does she?" "Yes I do its after ten or do I mean eight?" "Right me old darling if you'd been tossed out on the street with no money how long do you think you'd have lasted?" "A footman always carries my purse." "No footman means you'd be a goner soon enough. For a bit of class like you they're brothels that would pay twenty quid no questions asked, and there are some who'd pay thirty, they offer more specialised services." "But no one would sell me just like that." Margery voiced the opinion that half the local neighbourhood would sell their own grandmother for half a crown. "But who would want to take advantage of me?" "Every spurned suitor perhaps?" Chimed in Margery.

Perdita sank down on a stool. "Why did you rescue me then?" She looked across at Mr. Howe, "Am I expected to become your mistress?" "Naw he wants to give his million pound dinner and you to help him get his marks to sink their money in his hole in the ground." Perdita looked alarmed "I'm not to be auctioned off am I? But I don't think anyone would pay a million pounds for me." "Naw not actioned off." She looked puzzled "Sort of buried treasure then?" Charlie convulsed himself with laughter, even Sam grinned. "Naw it's a special hole that you put water in." "Mud pies? Is this some sort of mad house?" When Charlie caught his breath he looked at her. "You dig a long hole in the ground, fill it with water then you float boats in it." "It would have to be a very long hole to fit a boat?" Sam decided to take hand, "It's a very specialised sort of hole that's ten miles long, almost an artificial river and it's called a canal." "I've heard of them. They have locks on them don't they. That's why people want to put money in them because of the locks keep it safe." Perdita felt pleased with herself for working it all out.

"She doesn't need to know how it all works, as I see it all you need her for is to organise the dinner and charm the old gentlemen and that she can do." "Do you really expect to get a million pounds out of your guests?" "Naw Missus that's how much they're worth collectively." "I'd need Jean-Pierre to do it properly." "He's already here but we can't make out what he's trying to say." "I'll find you one of them Frenchie's wot can speak proper." Offered Charlie, in the meantime Perdita and Margery undertook to explain what was happening to him.

Margery explored the house and reported back to Perdita, "There's a large salon at the back and its got your grand piano in it." "How on earth?" "Something to do with Charlie, I think he brought up the contents of your father's house and is selling some of it to pay the servants." "That urchin had enough money to do that?" Perdita expressed her disbelief. "Charlie is one of the world's deal makers, I don't know quite how he did it I'd just be thankful he did." "Any news of Mater and Pater?" "They're in a country cottage somewhere with her maid." "I don't think they'll like that."

Charlie sidled up to Brigitte as she shopped. "I need someone wot can say fings in French. Straight up it's a proper job like." She looked down at the urchin besides him. "In a shop?" "Naw one of the toffs, pays better than shop would." Against her better judgement she set off after him, at least it was the better part of town. He led her round to the kitchen entrance where she could hear sounds of French frustration pouring forth. She entered and everyone of her French aristocratic ancestors stiffened her spine. She blasted off a stream of pure clear elegant French demanding to know exactly what was going on. John-Pierre's face lit up at the sound of his familiar language spoken perfectly and not mangled as Perdita's pronunciation had been, not only that but she appeared to understand French cuisine as well.

Sam drifted into the kitchen. "Found you a proper French maid gov." He took one look at Brigitte and recognised she wasn't a maid by any means. He offered a salary that was the same as John-Pierre's and suggested she might like to have her own maid much to Perdita's surprise. Brigitte nodded and asked for pen and paper then having written a note gave it to Charlie to deliver with precise instructions to the address.

The household assembled and sat round the table in the dinning room Brigitte had a pencil and paper in front of her as they discussed the upcoming meal and all the necessary details that would be required. "There will be no females invited?" Asked Annette, Brigitte's maid. Sam affirmed this was so. "So we could augment James with maids dressed in pretty dresses?" Brigitte's eyes lit up as did the other maids. "I don't think seducing them is quite the thing." She commented, "Mais un peu de flirt serait acceptable?" "D'accord." Sam wrinkled his nose. "Do I want to know?" "If Annette feels we should have some new pretty dresses then I'm quite agreeable." Agnes entered into the discussion. Sam left them to sort out the details.

Brigitte was passing Perdita's room when she overheard them talking. "Sam seems rich enough, why shouldn't I marry him?" Perdita asked her maid "Well yes he's rich enough and sometimes the ton will overlook money from trade if there is enough of it." "But?" "He was born out of wedlock and that is something society will never overlook, even your children would be outcasts from society." "So hopefully one of his invitees to his dinner?" "That wouldn't be too bad, as I said society will overlook money from trade if it's enough." "Better practise my piano playing then hadn't I?"

As a thrifty French girl it seemed a waste not to be married because your parents weren't. It wasn't as if she was ever going to be accepted in society anyway. She shrugged, perhaps he'd accept some rearrangement of the furniture to present the house in a better light. New curtains for the salon certainly, she'd speak to Annette about the matter. They could rescue two more French maids as well to do the sewing. Annette was horrified, "To rearrange the furniture without being asked, it is simply not done" but it was what her mistress wanted and you never know gentlemen were notorious for not noticing these things, well she could hope.

"I'm sorry to disturb you but I'm at my wit's end." "What is it Harrison?" "Well we've had two ships dock but I've no one to enter everything in the ledgers and until we do that we won't know how much cargo we can carry and Durham has hired all four of our clerks away from us. As you know he has an empty ship so is just waiting to show our customers that he can carry their cargo." Sam hated times like this. "Can't you just load the ships up and go?" asked Brigitte innocently looking up. "It's not quite so simple we get different rates for different cargo and the least valuable goes underneath. We'll never find four or even the six clerks we need within a week and we need everything doing yesterday." "So if I were to arrange a half dozen clerks who could read, write and do sums within the hour that would be useful?" "That would be life saving."

Two days later Sam stopped by his offices. "How are the new clerks working out?" he asked Harrison. Harrison reddened, Brigitte stepped out from behind him. "Oh he's getting used to us now." Sam raised a questioning eyebrow. "To run a household you have to be able to look over the books so all good French girls of a certain class are taught enough to read a ledger and to correct one. There are a large number of émigrés available who can do this." Sam turned back to Harrison, "All French females?" Harrison nodded "But they're accurate and fast, I've checked their work personally." "And they're more than happy to work and earn a male clerk's wage." mentioned Brigitte pointedly. Sam nodded his agreement. "Are you ready to return home now?" "Certainement, I was, how you say it? Just popping in to see how they had settled in."

Perdita did her hostess bit as the guests arrived, smiling at them and asking them a little about themselves. Dinner was served quite quickly after giving them a glass of sherry beforehand. Odette, one of the sewing maids carried round the tray of sherry offering both dry and cream. Many of the guests had both just to try the difference. Both English and French dishes were served. Perdita wasn't quite sure if they would be adventurous enough to just have French food. With the two sewing maids and everyone in rather low cut dresses, Perdita's was the most respectable, each of the guests had a maid or manservant to attend their every need. "Who is the young lady at the head of the table?" "Miss Wortham, her father Lord Daventry has accepted a directorship of the new company so she's here to promote his interests." Well he hadn't yet but Charlie had suggested adding a touch of class and if he was going to cost Sam a pension of a hundred a year he could make himself useful.

Véronique offered her guest some carrots and when he agreed she bent forward and carefully arranged three small baby carrots in the French fashion on his plate. "Petite Pois Monsieur?" He looked puzzled, "Want some peas luv?" Loosely translated Agnes calling across the table in defiance of everything that Perdita had been taught about polite behaviour, Perdita closed her eyes but the guests seemed happy. "Do I get more than three?" He questioned. Perdita carefully drew out the guests at her end of the table. It was so simple you didn't need to know anything about the subject, you just got them to explain it all to you.

Thirty minutes later she looked up the table. Each guest had a maid sitting in his lap. Véronique was feeding hers by placing a carrot between her lips then proffering her lips to his. Hélène was feeding hers with samples from the French dishes with a small spoon, licking any sauce that was left on his lips as she went. Perdita looked towards James who in turn was looking uncomfortable that his wife was being fondled in quite such an intimate way. "Perhaps if you were to withdraw and play some music the girls might follow?"

Brigitte looked up from Sam's lap, "It's time to go I think." "I was enjoying you curled up in my lap." "Better yours than one of your guests." She looked pointedly at where one guest had unfastened one of the maid's dresses and was openly fondling and suckling her naked breast.

Sounds of the grand piano drifted into the dinning room and following Brigitte's example the maids started to extract themselves and exit the dinning room. The two guests who had been entertained by Perdita rose, "Canal something or other was it you wanted to talk about. Well here's my cheque for £20,000. Now I'm off to here that delightful angel play." The others followed suit and Sam was left holding £180,000 worth of cheques maybe he'd make it wide enough for fourteen foot wide barges rather than the seven foot ones he'd originally budgeted. He locked the cheques away in his desk in the library then followed the others to listen to Perdita's informal concert.

Brigitte glanced carefully at the younger man that had been sat next to Perdita who in turn was looking on Perdita with a rapt expression. She took Perdita's place at the piano and played the opening bars to one of the new waltzes. Perdita threw a questioning glance at her dinner partner and received a nod. An impromptu ball followed with many willing hands rolling the carpets back. The maids followed Perdita and her partner's lead in the waltz although some variations were quite original, the important thing was everyone was enjoying themselves, and tonight no one was counting if Perdita danced more than two dances with the same partner, other than her maid who was keeping a close eye on her charge to ensure she didn't go too far.

Next day in the early afternoon Margery caught sight of Perdita's young man, well young was relative after all, as he knocked on the door. "Is Miss Wortham available for a drive in the park." She guided him into the drawing room then finding Annette in the hallway she sent her off to make sure that Perdita was dressed ready to go out driving. Margery sat down and he asked her about Perdita. "Well she's Lord Daventry's daughter but unfortunately Lord Daventry lost everything in a game of cards so now she has no dowery and no prospects of marrying into the ton but she's pretty, intelligent, plays the piano well as you heard, knows enough to run a home and would make someone a good wife it would be a shame if she ended up on the street." She hoped she hadn't overstated the case but it might help him think he had a realistic chance with her.

Annette dashed upstairs and quickly dressed Perdita in a becoming dress before thrusting her downstairs with the words, "It doesn't matter if he has a title or not nor what offer you get carte blanche or marriage it's better than starving on the street. Just get an offer out of him." A sentiment that Margery completely agreed with.

"This canal scheme of yours now you've raised more money than you expected could you build it somewhere else?" "Such as?" "Looking at the map if it connected Leeds and Manchester it would have plenty of traffic." "Yes but its thirty odd miles even if we connected to the Calder and Hebble Navigation in Yorkshire, the Pennines are in the way." "So build locks." "Could be done I suppose?" "Is it dry?" "That part of Lancashire gets plenty of rain we've probably have to build reservoirs to collect it or the mill owners will oppose it in Parliament. It rises to six hundred feet above sea level." "So lots of locks?" "We could cut costs by standardising the lock size and the lock gates. The Calder and Hebble Navigation uses fourteen foot wide locks, we could as well." He mused to himself. "This town here, Rochdale it is called? If you started at Manchester then went to this Rochdale first that would get it started?" "Get some money coming in that would help raise the rest." "Call it the Rochdale Canal and then business men in Rochdale would feel included and want to buy shares." He looked at Brigitte, "I noticed you'd changed the curtains and moved the furniture round." Brigitte gave a small shrug of her shoulders, "and now your taking an almost wifely interest in my business affairs. Well its time I took a wife but you understand my parents were unmarried?" Brigitte shrugged her shoulders again "Mine didn't provide very well for me either, are you proposing?" She asked out of interest. "I suppose I am." "I suppose I'll accept then." She stepped up to him and curled up feeling safe and protected in his lap.