The Family Business by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. ©2019

Luv Karen

Nicholas looked at the letter again. His great-Uncle Timothy had died and left him the family business. Gee great, he’d heard in the past that his family used to have a small workshop. He thought if he ignored the letter they’d go away and let him live his life in peace.

Time to go to the office. He could do without Charlie’s micromanaging but most of his fellow workers were pretty good and the work was interesting. He caught his usual bus on Main Street, took his usual seat next to the pretty girl who smiled at him as he sat down as he had done for the last six months. He’d been trying to summon up the courage to talk to her but hadn’t managed it yet. He never was much good at small talk. Caitlin racked her brains to think of a way to encourage him without appearing too forward. Perhaps next year being leap year she could propose to him just to see if it got a reaction she mused silently.

Nick was soon in the office with his mug of coffee in hand, staring at the screen trying to make sense of the code. Charlie had firmly committed the changes would be made by the end of the month. Charlie had no idea what was involved and looking at the undocumented spaghetti code Nick wasn’t sure it could be done. He hadn’t even realised the complier supported relative goto statements. Not until he’d inserted a line of code only to find the program had fallen apart as a goto statement suddenly branched to the wrong place.

“Any news of the missing person yet?” asked Caitlin as she breezed in through the door. “Well I wouldn’t quite call him a missing person. We now have a photograph of him, and we know his name and postal address. Rita managed to find out where he worked so we’re thinking of kidnapping him.” “Let’s see the photo then.” “I recognise him.” “Getting in with the new boss before the rest of us?” “No but he catches my bus every morning and sits next to me. We haven’t spoken but I’m hopeful.” “You could go and see him at his office?” Caitlin thought about it for a moment or two “Why not. Where does he work?”

It didn’t take long before she was stood at his desk smiling. “Nicholas?” She queried. Nick looked up and recognising but not quite placing her smiled at her. “Hello.” “We need you to sort out the family business.” Nick looked puzzled. Charlie came storming up “Who are you and what’s going on here in work time?” Caitlin looked at him and spoke quietly to Nick “Can you tell him to go and jump?” Nick had uttered the words without really registering what he was saying. “You can’t say that to me. You’re fired!”. “That makes life simpler. This your coffee mug?” Caitlin picked up Nick’s coffee mug and the two of them walked towards the door. “You can’t leave just like that!” Charlie stormed. “Why not you fired him.” Caitlin guided Nick out of the door. Charlie picked up the file on Nick’s desk and dumped in on Sofija’s desk. “It needs to be completed by the end of the month.” “Do you want this one done or my existing project done? I doubt if I can complete them both by the end of the month.” “If you want a job, both.” Caitlin whispered in Nick’s ear and at his nod turned back to Sofija. “I can find you a new job if you like.” “I like. Bye Charlie.” “You can’t do that!” “Watch me. I have enough vacation to cover giving you a month’s notice and if you don’t like it you can always fire me.” She picked up her coffee mug and followed Nick and Caitlin through the door.

“Now tell me what’s happening.” “Well Nicholas is your new boss.” “I am?” “You are.” “You know I had a fairly well paid job back there.” “I think the family business might even pay a bit more.” “What does it do exactly these days. I’d heard my great-uncle owned a workshop.” “Should it be grand uncle?” asked Sofija. “Well the French is grand-oncle but the Germanic would be great.” “So both are right?” “Both are right but great uncle is more common.” “Grandfather, grandmother, grandchild, but great-uncle, sure it makes as much sense as anything else in English.”

Caitlin smiled at least she’d managed to collect Nicholas with actually kidnapping him. Rita’s jaw dropped when the three of them walked in. “Sit and don’t move until I’ve got your signature book.” “Signature book?” He queried to Caitlin. “There are a few things that need your formal signature like the bank accounts and the auditor’s report.” Nicholas looked through the auditor’s report. “The numbers seem quite large. How big is the business?” “Well it’s a private company but the profit last year was fifty million dollars.” “You mean it’s worth fifty million?” “No, it’s worth much more than that. Just the profit last year was fifty million, but we’re hoping to do better this year.” Nicholas jaw dropped in astonishment. “I don’t understand.” “Hello handsome.” Blurted out Sofija as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. Caitlin took pity on him and led him to an office chair and sat him down. Then she sat in his lap and kissed him on the lips. “Well for only a million a year I could become your private confidential secretary and look after both the business and yourself.” Guiding his hand up towards her breast as she spoke. Nicholas twirled her round so she was across his lap and gently gave her a token spank. Rita’s eyes twinkled, “I think he’s just accepted you as his confidential private secretary, either that or he’s liable for sexual harassment.”

Caitlin swivelled round once more so she was back in his lap and slipped her arms round his neck. “So what’s it to be boss? Do I have to admit I like being spanked first?” Nicholas had the feeling that somewhere he’d lost a battle before he’d even realised what was happening.