The Island by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus if they are not suitable for you put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. Copyright is retained by the author. ©2007

Luv Karen

I so desperately wanted to get into research I mean I’d managed to get my first class honours, I had my legacy from Great Aunt Mildred but I knew it still wasn’t enough, I needed an edge. I mean to say these days with all the new rules and laws about animals being used for research purposes the number of research projects involving animals was way down.

I’d talked it through with Jennifer over a bottle of wine and she’d suggested that if I could find an unclaimed island I could claim it and run it under my own set of laws. You can tell Jennifer is studying to be a lawyer can’t you. It didn’t seem such a crazy idea half way down the bottle so we got Google earth out and searched away through the satellite pictures. Eventually we found one. About 100 miles off the coast and no one seemed to have claimed it.

I texted Dave and arranged to borrow his ultra light sea plane with its extra highly illegal 14 gallon long range fuel tank and flew to the island. I mean thank God for GPS, planted a flag and a small plastic plaque saying I claimed the island for New Mercia. Came home and let Jennifer sort out the paperwork.

When I heard a whisper that there was a research project that wanted to use white mice going on I met the researcher and quickly found out that the project was to do with transporting white mice by analysing their body then reconstructing the body from their DNA. I mean it sounds crazy but all the molecules basically have huge amounts of space in them so if you could just shoot the electrons and things down a wire you could transport mice several inches. Well after Dr. Eiraku found out I could do the animal experiment part without any restriction I was on the project, temporary position of course, with six months funding that could be extended. Not immediately but just as soon as the funding came through from the cancer research charity say two months. Cancer research? Well they have almost too much money and I suppose we might turn up something relevant besides you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The salary was what I expected, the pits, but if I was living on the island I could manage and it was experience in research.

I went and talked it through with Jennifer. “I’m almost broke, we’ve spent most of Great Aunt Mildred’s money and I’ve got to live for the next three months before I get any salary and that’s practically nothing.” “Well I suppose as head of state for New Mercia you could always raid the post office.” I looked blankly at her. She pulled out a glossy magazine and showed me a full page colour advert for personalised First Day Covers of the full New Mercia definitives for only $150 or personally signed on the back by the post master general $350. I looked at her blankly. “I invested some of your Great Aunt’s funds.” “God it must have cost the earth and where do we get the stamps and New Mercia’s post office?” “Well I did a deal with Canada Post Philatelic’s section, they’re handling the design, security printing and so forth for 10% of the sales. We get bundled pre-printed envelopes, a franking machine all in water proof boxes to take out to the island and frank them. Then we have to bulk ship them to Canada and they handle the rest. Oh the first batch to be hand signed is in the corner.” I turned and looked at the stack of twenty boxes in the corner. “How much did you say we cleared each envelope?” “$315 less shipping at say $2 each.” I did the maths, 500 to a box and twenty boxes, “More than $3,000,000 for signing envelopes?” “I told you it was an investment. There’s another batch due next week and twice as many orders for just the unsigned first day cover.” I sat down in shock. “By the way New Mercia is now recognised by the UN, has its own protected 200 mile fishing zone, and I’m negotiating the sea bed mineral rights. We can’t charge for the covers until we ship but I’ve remortaged my apartment talked to mummy and daddy and we’ve managed to raise $500,000 to get New Mercia set up. I arranged for New Mercia to issue government bonds at 5% to the tune of $2,000,000 and discounted the sale to me, the family and the underwriters by 20%.” I just looked at her. “Whatever.” “Well I’d better get signing.”

I contacted Dr. Eiraku and announced I’d got an initial $500,000 government funding from the New Mercia government so perhaps we could assemble the lab I’d need for the testing without waiting for the charity to say OK. We set up the scanners and so forth in three 20 foot converted containers. We had plenty of room so we saved time and money by converting two standard commercial 8 foot long flatbed precision laser cutters to be the scanner and the receiver. It seemed easier than trying to build a miniaturised scanner just for mice. Besides which I wouldn’t be able to cope with a temperamental experimental design, it sort of had to work first time and be reliable with just me on the island so the laser cutter stuff being high precision seemed to fit the bill. Now all I needed to do was to arrange transport.

Dressed in student jeans and my naval foul weather jacket I slipped into the quay side pub and everyone stopped talking. I asked the landlord if he could use a barmaid for a day or two over the regatta period. He nodded and the pub came to life again. A day or two later I found what I was looking for. Four fishermen who came into together and sat down and nursed their beers. “Well that’s it now lads until next year we’ve caught our quota.” It was quiet in the pub so I wandered over to them with my chart of the island and asked them what the fishing was like there. “Well it’s a bit far out with the cost of diesel but it’s not bad fishing on the far side of the island. There be a few shallows where the cold water comes up and meets the warm surface waters, but that there be quota territory and there be a new rule about fishing the island right now pasted up at the habour master’s office.” “Could you get me three 20 foot containers out to the island?” “Setting up a research base camp or something? Could do if it was worth our while.” We settled on filling the boat with diesel and a year’s unrestricted access to the island’s fishing grounds provided they dropped me in supplies twice a month.

I went with them to the habour master’s office to register their right to land fish from the island’s fishing grounds. Then we filled up the boat with 43 metric tons of diesel on my gas card much to the amazement of the pump attendant. I was beginning to think it would be cheaper to use UPS overnight. I did the green thingy and ordered them one of the Skysails thingies and two new sets of larger mesh nets for their fishing boat on my laptop via the internet. Well I didn’t want to feel guilty about them catching fish that hadn’t fully grown. Once they had a full tank of gas they seemed much more cheerful and although they were doubtful at first about the idea of wind power since it was free they seemed happy. Sam, who worked as a builder during the quiet period as he put it, dreamed up the idea of putting a roof over my containers and mentioned he knew of a couple of wind turbines that might be for sale as the owners hadn’t checked the city bylaws before buying them.

He took me down to the local builder’s yard, container depot and we purchased a few extra bits here and there including two more flat containers with collapsible ends and the cutest little truck called a Haflinger that had a hen house on the back. Sam thought it would be ideal for the island and after he’d pointed out to the container yard owner about how much space it was taking up and how much it would cost to get a safety check on it he cut a deal whereby I got it for free in return for the island’s grazing rights for the owner’s flock of sheep that Sam would return in the fall. Sam got half a dozen hens thrown in as well. I wasn’t sure about the hens and I was beginning to get a bit worried about spending all the money but Sam assured me they were a good idea and I thought of my first day covers and hoped it would cover the costs.

We set off in calm seas with the decks buried in containers, 90 foot long roofing tresses, bleating sheep and all manner of things that they thought would be useful. We took our time getting to the island to save fuel. Once there I realised we had nothing to lift the containers off but that didn’t seem to bother them. It didn’t bother the hens and sheep either as they were tossed off the boat they ran scrambling up the island exploring their new home. A couple of stakes were sledge hammered into the ground either side of the inlet, wire cables were slung and the boat’s winch started up. Once the first container was unloaded and opened I unpacked the Honda generator, the water proof New Mercia Post office boxes, and started the franking machine.

After four days I’d franked all the first day covers and the Island was transformed. The guys had locked together the five containers with the two flat containers in the middle to give me a room 20 foot by 20 foot span in the centre. By the time they had put in the framing, patio windows on one side and dry wall I had rather a nice bungalow, not just the living in a container home I’d first thought of. They set up the wind turbines and connected the plastic guttering to rain barrels so I’d have lots of fresh water. I hadn’t even thought about that. I made sure the New Mercia post office water proof boxes full of their precious cargo were safely on board then waved them goodbye as they set off to fish the far side of the island.

The first few days on the island were quite restful after all the hectic rushing around I’d been doing. I went for a walk across the island to the far side and I thought I was inspecting the puffin colony, they thought they were inspecting me. As I walked away I glanced over my shoulder and found they were strung out in single file trailing behind me as if I was a tall puffin who knew where I was going. The lads dropped me off a box or two of frozen fish on the way back which I dumped in the freezer. I opened up the lab containers and made sure the white mice were doing well. Then I started the experiments. Slowly I fully examined and photographed the first mouse and weighed it. Then I started the equipment up and placed a sleeping Simon mouse on the scanner and retreated behind the steel wall and simply test scanned him. I wanted to bring across not only the DNA information but also to transfer any antibodies. Without them to protect the mouse it might die of infection quite quickly. It took me two weeks before I believed I’d isolated them. I started up the machine once more, ten minutes later the machine had stopped so I peeped in to the receiver to see a sleeping Simon mouse but he looked different somehow. I rescued him and carefully placed him in his cage. I examined him very closely for week but he seemed fit and healthy and no worse for his adventure in fact if anything he was better. I eventually worked out he no longer had the bit of ear missing he’d had before being transported.

I reported back my success by email. I started to send more mice recording their weight appetite etc. before and after. I was beginning to see data patterns in different mice with the same length whiskers etc. This was definitely working but the sheer volume of data needed meant it wasn’t going to be a way to transport people instead of aircraft which I think Dr. Eiraku had been hoping for but there was still reams of research data I could publish. I even tried a hen followed by sheep or two when they showed signs of curiosity.

Jennifer’s email caught me totally unprepared. I knew she had an elder brother Tony in the Special Forces but he’d been caught up in the explosion from a suicide bomber and been very badly hurt. He hadn’t wanted to worry anyone so hadn’t said anything it was only when Jennifer dropped into see him unexpectedly and found him in hospital minus legs, hands and blinded in one eye that she’d found out. I picked up the satellite phone and called her mobile. She was distraught. Tony wanted out, he didn’t want to live anymore. She didn’t know what to do. She hated to see him suffering and he didn’t want to spend his life in a wheel chair. She was thinking of taking him to Switzerland so he could commit suicide.

I asked her to bring him to me first. I had something that might work and if it didn’t make a difference I’d help him throw himself and the wheelchair over the island’s cliff. I called Sam and asked him to wait at the harbour and bring Jennifer and Tony out to me when they arrived on the fishing boat. They hoisted Tony in his electric wheel chair ashore and left us to it. I didn’t blame them he wasn’t a pretty sight. Jennifer and I sort of struggled to get him onto the Haflinger and thence up to the bungalow with the promise of a bottle of scotch. He really seemed to have lost the will to live. I told them of Simon mouse and his mended ear and said I couldn’t promise anything but it might be worth a try. Tony shrugged “Well I might as well be of use to someone. What have I to lose, there’s always the cliff when it doesn’t work.”

We rolled him onto the scanner bed and I raised the scanner so it would clear him. I asked Jennifer how much he used to weigh and saw how much lighter he was at the moment. I took a bag of frozen pork chops from the freezer and dropped them on the end of the scanner to make up the difference in weight. We retreated and I press the start button. Ten minutes later we peeked into the other side. Tony had travelled the two inches separating the devices and looked to be sleeping peacefully.

“Has he gone?” asked Jennifer peering over my shoulder at his naked body. “No the mice always seem to be asleep when they transfer.” Mind you I’d usually given them something to help them sleep first. “Let’s see if there is a pulse.” There was one. Jennifer and I exchanged glances and I let my breath out. I hadn’t even realised I’d been holding it with relief. “Tony Mathews get up out of bed this instant! Just what do you think you’re doing lying in bed at this time of day!” “Oh hi Sis. Did it work?” He held his arm up so we could inspect his fingers as he flexed them. “My god it’s all back to normal.” We wept and cried then broke open my medicinal bottle of Scotch.

Jennifer insisted that Tony sit in the wheel chair for the trip back when the fishing boat came by on the return trip. We could see them coming for miles with their new para-glide type sail hovering overhead.

I went back to my experiments as I transported more mice so statistical information was building up. Within a week I’d managed to isolate the bit of DNA that controlled the length of a mouse’s whiskers and by manipulating the software I could increase or decrease the whisker length by a few millimetres. I really felt I was getting somewhere so to celebrate I gave myself the morning off to sunbathe on the beach only to have my siesta disturbed by a fishing boat’s inflatable coming into shore.

Oh dear animal activists? Perhaps I should have taken Jennifer’s advice and had a gun with me to scare them off. Best see what they were after I suppose well after all mother had always taught me to be polite to visitors so I raised myself and invited them in for a coffee. They were a BBC television camera crew out looking for some sort of fish event that happened once a year on the north side of the island. Could they have permission to film? Why not. They had an ultra light plane they used to search out the waters to the north and seemed to be completely self-contained apart from swapping survival rations with me. It seemed that after months of eating the same food even my dried curried chicken just add water was exotic. They traded me dried stew just add boiling water which I thought was great as I was getting tired of curried chicken. I boiled them an egg each for tea one day as well. I would have liked to offer them fresh bread but after three attempts with the bread maker when I’d first arrived I’d given up.

A few days later a helicopter approached the island. I naively had thought an island 100 miles off the nearest coast would be quiet and I could get on with a bit of research. Perhaps I should open up a tea room or a small café as a side line?

As the helicopter blades slowed down a man a little older than my dad and a woman in military uniform jumped out and dashed across to me.

They accepted a mug of coffee with whitener and sugar and the man with pips on his shoulder mentioned that one of the men in his command was a certain Tony Mathews who on the morning that he was expected to be discharged on medical grounds had confounded everyone by successfully completing the joint force fitness test to prove he was fit for duty. Oh dear I hadn’t thought of that. I wasn’t a qualified medical practitioner was I? I mentioned the weather was particularly mild this year. “Nurse Nichols here examined him and apart from his missing fillings she mentioned she couldn’t recall any one recovering quite so well from the type of injuries that he had before and wondered if we might ask you to look at her cousin to see if anything could be done.”

“Tony was a very special case. He was suicidal and knew the risks involved. I’m not a trained doctor, the limb regeneration was a side effect to some research work I’m doing with a new transport system to move mice a few centimetres. It really isn’t designed to heal injured soldiers.” The nurse spoke up. “Could we at least try? He’s here in the helicopter.” Reluctantly I nodded “But first let me explain it’s extremely risky as its only been done with a human being once before.” Before I could blink they had dashed back to the helicopter and with the aid of the pilot brought a stretcher complete with drip tubes out from the cabin.

He really should have been in intensive care. He was in a coma and no way was he able to give his consent to anything. I looked doubtful. “I have a blank consent form signed by his parents and he is my cousin. As you can see his chances at the moment are not good.” We lifted him onto the scanner bed and I crossed my fingers. “How much did he weigh before and what does he weigh now?” I asked as I looked at the scale on the bed mentally subtracting the weight of the drip tube etc. I threw a few frozen fish on the end of the bed and we retreated behind the steel wall and started the process. Ten minutes later I looked in the scanner bed to see a mass of plastic tubing and metal clamps. I looked in the other bed, one apparently asleep soldier.

“Hi Morgan common wake up, it’s Vicky. Are you feeling any better?” I was just a bundle of nerves and slipped out to recover.

I liked Morgan as soon as he wandered in with a towel round his waist. “Just my luck a lovely young lady fancies using my body and I was in no condition to say yes. If ever you want to borrow my body again I’ll make it available to you any time you like.” He grinned and I grinned back. “Still it looks in lovely condition now whatever you did to it. I know I wasn’t looking after it. Vicki had warned me I’d come to a sticky end kicking cans around by the side of the road. Still I’ll know not to do it again won’t I?” He had a lovely lilting accent which Vicki told me later was Welsh. He’d come over as a teenager with his parents and retained his accent.

The officer had followed him into the room and took a document form his brief case. “I’d never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I’d like to send some more men and I’m willing to pay $500,000 per treatment.” “I’m sorry but I’m not in the business of treating wounded soldiers just transmitting white mice from one place to another.” “It costs $2,000,000 to train one of my specialists. The only way we managed to get effective body armour past the accountants was showing them how much fifty years of inflation proofed disability pension cost. At least let me show my gratitude by lending you a few combat engineers who are eating their heads off doing nothing at headquarters to build you a quay. I have here a briefing note saying you own the fishing rights for 200 miles but have no method of enforcement. Since we spotted two fishing boats on the way here perhaps I could lend you a couple of marines as well.” It seemed the only way out was to accept his offer. Vicki asked to stay as well, just in case I cut my finger as she put it so I put her in the guest container with its own double bed.

Vicki and I got on really well. We both had medical backgrounds and we soon isolated the bit of DNA that was responsible for the tail. It was fun having someone else to talk to and to share the cooking. Well I didn’t really cook just threw a few things in the microwave or filled the slow pot up occasionally, most of the time I had been just adding boiling water to the freeze dried chicken things, it’s not worth doing that much effort for one. Vicki could cook, not only that but she could work the bread maker, and knew of other things to do with eggs than simply boil them so we and the BBC film crew dined in style.

A few days later a twin engined military plane landed on the beach and unloaded a rather motley collection of injured soldiers mostly on stretchers with hi tech monitors fastened to the stretchers over the patients. Vicki creased herself with laughter. “I think the general has just sent you his combat engineers who were doing nothing at HQ.” A weary looking officer was with them his right hand had been replaced by a hook. Vicki nudged me “This one’s a captain combat engineer.” I looked at him he didn’t look very different to any of the others to me. “Captain Simon Mathews reporting madam, the general has given me an ambitious list of projects to do and rather limited resources to do them, something about assisting with a new experimental transport system. However if possible I’d like to get my men under cover.” The aircraft was taxiing away down the beach. I shrugged and looked at Vicki “Well first things first. You’d better come with me and Vicki can see if she can get one of the others on crutches up to the bungalow.” I got him to lie down on the scanner and gave him a consent form to sign which said he consented to anything and would divulge nothing. He raised his eyebrows then signed. I retreated and pushed the button. Once we had the captain done and the first man on crutches the rest was easy they at least could transport the stretchers on the back of the Haflinger to the lab. We sent the next one done to the beach to look for any bones he could find.

Mind you I got a bit behind with my mice. It took us hours and hours to process all the soldiers. The aircraft returned and unloaded a fierce looking cross country fork lift truck. A boy toy as Vicki called it. Still Captain Mathews used it to unload a few pallets of supplies from inside the plane.

We did the more serious looking patients first and left the two cute looking ones until last. Well it was Vicki’s idea, if we could make a mouse’s tail longer then we should be able to enhance the giggle sticks of the two cutest guys. “Just think two really cute guys certified no STDs what more could a girl want?” “Three dozen?” I giggled back. “If it goes wrong we could always put them through again.” We measured where everyone’s hips went on the scanner so we had a rough idea where to look on the DNA scan.

Needless to say we ran out of frozen fish for the last two but we still had a couple of bags of bleached bones from the beach. In the end I got Vicki to put me and Henry through the scanner together and set the dials for me to lose ten pounds. Vicki wanted to add an inch on the length but I decided to go for width. Then I put Vicki through with her cute guy with a ten pound weight lose as well. It was late by the time we had finished and there were sleeping bodies everywhere. I mean to say the bungalow just wasn’t built to accommodate three dozen extra guests when it was raining outside and there wasn’t a spare inch of floor left so Vicki and I were terribly noble and led the last two patients back to our own double beds.

Next morning I brushed my hand lightly over his early morning erection. It was bliss nothing was too good for me. Once he’d got the idea that his attentions were more than welcome his head dived between my legs and his tongue slowly licked its way up my thighs, far too slowly for my liking for my immediate needs. I moved his hand up over my breast and squeezed my hand down on top so he got the idea of what I liked. I’ve no idea what he was like before but afterwards he just stretched me to perfection. I wondered if it was really him or molecules from me that had been inside me.

Vicki entered carrying a mug of coffee and dismissed Henry. “Did you know that it’s St. Swithin’s day today besides being your birthday and I’ve been reading up about the history of New Mercia.” I looked doubtful New Mercia had a history of more than a few weeks? “Apparently it’s an old tradition that on St. Swithin’s day all the Queen’s male subjects come bearing posies and give the Queen a really good shagging.” I looked at Vicki. “Well I want to run a few tests on these solders to see if they are really fit or not. Normally I’d run the heart test by getting them to ride an exercise bicycle first then measure their pulse and so forth as they go. But we don’t have an exercise bicycle and since it’s St. Swithin’s day and your birthday I thought I’d let them ride you instead. Ever had thirty six fit active men one after the other before? I’ve got plenty of lubricant and it would be in the cause of scientific research.” I didn’t blurt out NO! fast enough as she opened the door and in trailed three stark naked soldiers all holding posies of native flowers. The first one in the bedroom with his erect erection looked terribly shy. He looked so sweet and besides it wasn’t everyday that someone brought me flowers. “Why so many of you at once?” I asked.

“Well miss we wanted to make certain you were well and truly satisfied.” Answered the first, “We talked it over and we thought like if we worked together in teams to help you relax first and you told us which bits of you needed the most attention we’d stand more chance of satisfying you.” I raised an eyebrow and looked disbelievingly at the last and youngest soldier. “Besides Captain Matthews said he’d send anyone who didn’t give full satisfaction on a month’s workshop on poetry appreciation and you couldn’t wish that on any engineer now could you miss?” I laughed aloud at the thought of a group of engineers being sent on a poetry workshop. “You poor boys, we don’t have any choice then do we but to try and save you from a fate worse than death.”

I mean I’d always been self sufficient in that all I had to do was relax and think erotic thoughts and so long as I wasn’t distracted I could think myself to a climax on thoughts alone, I wouldn’t need to fake an organism here at all and the boys in green needn’t know it wasn’t them doing all the work. What would be the most powerful thought to start? I imagined I was lying back in bed I’d have that tall dark one behind me gently caressing my shoulders, perhaps one for each foot nibbling my big toes and giving me a foot massage, I could almost feel a caress on my calf as a pair of hands drifted very slowly up for my ankles, perhaps another pair of lips on each of my breasts suckling at my nipples? A gentle breath at the top of my thighs, and ever so gently a tongue licking alongside my clitoris just as I liked it most, Oh my I could feel it building up inside, I opened my eyes just so I’d know that someone was doing something when it hit so they could take the credit. There were heads bobbing up and down everywhere, I wasn’t just imagining things at all, then the first big O hit me. I was basking in all this masculine attention, I felt relaxed, safe and protected, I could feel my insides turning to mush again I was coming once more, the second big O came more quickly, the third sort of added onto the end, and my body just kept rolling alone into one continuous big O that went on and on and on. I had the vague feeling that people were getting up and being replaced but the stimulus from everywhere at once was too much for me to take much notice.

Vicki appeared and wiped my brow, “Just one left Captain Simon Matthews himself.” I felt a mess, I felt exhausted, my body felt over stimulated I desperately needed time to recover. I looked up at him standing with his bunch of wild flowers. Vicki had put the other bunches in anything and everything that held water. “I know about the poetry workshop but I’m too tired, I need time to recover from three orgasms.” “Only three which thirty odd are going on the workshop then?” I looked at him hard “The last orgasm lasted nearly an hour and practically everyone was involved.” He looked downcast at the idea of attending the workshop by himself so I took pity on him “Come and lie down let me rest my head on your shoulder and cat nap then I can see what can be done.”

I stretched then looked around, Simon lay patiently besides me. I felt tender in all sorts of unmentionable places. He stretched his hand out to caress me but I blocked him before he stroked my very tender spots. “Lie still on your back and let me sit astride you. Don’t touch me, my body is still very tender. About the only parts that aren’t are my eyes, ears and inside so we need you very aroused so I can see it in your eyes, hard so you can slip inside me and then I need to hear your voice. Know any romantic poetry? Oh and when I say now I’ll be ready to feel a squirt of sperm inside me.” I asked mischievously as I opened my bed side drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant. I squirted a bit in the palm of my hand then proceeded to give him a hand job, just to get him hard and slippery. I heard Simon’s voice start “Shall I compare thee to…” I closed my eyes and let Shakespeare’s words work their magic. I was so carried away I almost forgot to say now.

Captain Matthews asked how I’d got my containers to the island so I gave him Sam’s email address. They worked out some sort of deal whereby the fishing boat off loaded a few containers each time they came out to fish. Soon there were fewer bodies sleeping in the bungalow. The engineers set up a wire between two hillocks that the fishing boat could position beneath and using their clever go anywhere fork lift truck the offloading went quickly as containers flew through the air. Soon they had a model aircraft thingy patrolling the seas off the island. It sent back great video pictures of dolphins and seals in real time. I burnt a copy on my lap top DVD burner and sent it off to the BBC team. They’d mentioned they needed footage and they had a number of scientists that were interested in viewing anything they could get their hands on.

It looked like it was time to get organised so I call up Jennifer. I let her negotiate first with the general, they settled on $100,000 per person who “visited” the island and second with Dr. Eiraku to either let New Mercia have a licence to use his patents or to buy them outright. She brought them outright for $7,000,000. Thank god for philatelists.

We had a steady trickle of injured soldiers from the front and one or two civilians as well who had been acting as translators. I noticed a difference in the brain pattern compared to the native English speakers so for the next soldier after Hafizullah I added in the bit I thought might be the language module. Well I rationalised I could always put him through again and take it out. Hafizullah was quite surprised to be understood and replied to in perfect Dari by one of the English speaking soldiers. So I adjusted the default settings to just add it in, well if they were going back to Afghanistan it would probably be useful to speak the native language fluently.

One of my favourites was Melvyn. The general called and asked if I could look after someone as an unpaid special favour, oh and it might be better if it wasn’t an instant cure. He arrived in his own portable intensive care unit very badly burnt. The staff who accompanied him seemed very reluctant to release him to our care. One of them identified herself as both a nurse and his sister. “We were expecting a modern hospital not a scrap yard for old containers.” She poured forth indignantly. They separated her from the rest and Captain Matthews and the others tried to explain old containers or not we were still her brother’s best chance. Normally we didn’t like having anyone around other than the soldiers themselves but a sister well. I looked at Vicki and she looked at me. I let Vicki do the reassurance side of things and quietly arranged to move the intensive care unit under the scanner and after first adjusting the machine to lose 8 kilos I pressed the button. Well if there was one thing to distract a sister it would be the thought that her brother had lost weight.

Ten minutes later I drifted into the bungalow’s living room and suggested “We find that the island’s pure air and simple food often help when other treatments don’t. Why don’t you come and see how you brother is at the moment?” She reluctantly followed me. When she saw the slumbering form she looked horrified and asked if he’d died. “No I think he’s just asleep.” “But he’s naked.” She dived into her hand bag and brought out a scull cap which she pinned to his head ignoring the rest of his nakedness. “There he’s respectable now. But where are all the monitors? Shouldn’t he be wired up? What’s happened to all his bandages? His burns will get infected.” “Why don’t you nudge him awake?” She stepped gingerly over and shook his shoulder gently. “Melvyn, its your sister Rebecca, wake up.” She shook his shoulder once more. There was a yawn “Hi sis, what are doing here?” “Where does it hurt most?” Melvyn looked puzzled then down at his body. “I think it’s all there, want to count my toes?” he teased. Rebecca stared hard at his feet then the rest of him. “Ten toes but you’ve lost weight.” She looked at me and I led her away.

“It’s some sort of miracle? He didn’t have ten toes last time I counted and the scar on his knee has gone?” She questioned. “You just can’t get the staff these days. It’s the nanobots they get their own ideas sometimes.” She looked at me. “I’d best ask no questions had I and just be thankful whatever it was did whatever it did.” “I’d like to keep him here on the island for a month or so then it won’t look like quite so much of a miracle.”

Melvyn had a holiday relaxing and fishing. Rebecca spent her time dreaming up ways to get him to put on weight. Even feeding him bacon and egg sandwiches after she raided the marine's bacon supplies for as she said if she didn’t feed him up he wouldn’t be able to get back to eat proper kosher food. She shocked the marines by joining them on target practise with her Tavor and beating their scores. Eventually she persuaded me to try. Once she had converted it to be left handed it seemed to sort of just fit naturally. I got good enough to hit the target occasionally if someone else put the magazine in for me. It seemed much lighter and more lady-like than the guns the marines used.

Rebecca handed me a present when she left and told me not to open it until she’d gone. It was her Tavor in its own gun case all beautifully gift wrapped with a note saying she hoped I‘d never need it but a girl should always be prepared.

We were getting good research data but statistically we were getting more information out of the mice simply because we had more data to process. Vicki thought we might be able to isolate parts of the brain that dealt with things other than languages but for that we needed a much bigger sample. “Could we build another scanner then I could set it up near the battle ground and treat a much larger number of people? I mean I am supposed to be an army field nurse after all.” I didn’t really want to do it in case someone pointed out that we weren’t doctors but when we talked to the general he thought something might be arranged.

Captain Mathews was delighted at the chance of fitting up a batch of containers for us though I had to order the laser cutters directly since the army procurement cycle was a little lengthy. Soon we were on our way to Afghanistan. The general arranged a personal bodyguard for me, and I could hear them waiting for me as the plane unloaded. “I don’t believe this, some insane civilian dame wants to visit the battle zone, the visit’s rated top secret and we get dragged over here to hold her hand!” “Where is the stupid cow? Putting final touches to her hair is she?” “Hello Morgan, how are the legs working out?” “Oh no let me guess you’re the civilian?” I smiled innocently at him. “Right lads this is…” he paused so I took pity on him “It’s Megan, out of sight and forgotten already.” I sobbed “Forget what I said before Megan’s all right and well worth looking after. Not only that but if anything happens to her I think we’ll have a quite a few of the lads arrive to sort out what had happened.” They had dressed me in a spare uniform so I merged in a little better. They wanted to give me a heavy gun to carry as a personal protection something or other. “It’s OK guys I’ve brought my own.” I took out Rebecca’s plastic gun and showed them I knew where to flip the little lever and squeeze the trigger. Only when they put a magazine in for me, whilst I put the ear plugs in, and made me do it again until were they satisfied. At least I didn’t have to carry their big heavy thing.

We soon had the field first aid unit set up. We had talked through the problems of keeping it all under wraps and eventually it was suggested that New Mercia showed its support of the troops by opening a small café serving curries with the help of a team of ten or so CTG Global “catering staff”. These were all ex-service men from Nepal who were truly excellent in their role. Once they caught onto the idea that their English was to be selective with limited understanding they thoroughly enjoyed the joke. I think it helped that two or three carried battle scars in the form of limps or a missing finger or two which magically were corrected after putting them through the scanner.

Vicki had told me she’d need three scanner / receiver sets at a minimum with an additional back up spare set, I hadn’t really believed her but since we had the money and Captain Matthews I’d gone along with the idea. We didn’t publicise our services other than the general knew we were there but somehow word got out through the lower levels that if you had an badly injured soldier the first stop was Field First Aid Unit 27. I hadn’t realised just how many injured men could come in at once from one fire fight. When the helicopters arrived we had enough badly injured men to keep all four units going at once. I mean fabulous for the data captured but rather a sad to see so many injured. The catering staff were great. They carried the stretchers in and onto the scanner tables where Vicki would give them an injection to make them sleep. Finally they would lift the sleeping men off the receiver and dress them in their blood stained ripped uniforms. I can still remember their cheerful “Wot you doing here, you fit well. Curry next door if you want. We are needing the stretchers for real sick men so sod off please.” as the patients woke up. We never admitted that we had treated any of them, well not being medically qualified apart from Vicki we couldn’t really.

One late one evening we had just sat down to a well deserved truly excellent curry, we’d finished treating two British female squaddies who had been smuggled in late at night in the back of a Land Rover by a couple of hospital orderlies. I hadn’t realised that women were fighting with the troops but apparently they were attached to patrols so they could search female suspects. When I heard the whirl of helicopter blades overhead, quite unusual at night, two Americans were carried in on stretchers by our catering staff followed by some guy with pips on his shoulders. “Delta force, I want to speak to the doctor in charge!” he yelled forcibly. I moved to the controls and started the scan. Vicky looked up “Would you like to take seat?” she asked mildly. “They’re my men and I want the best possible surgeon for them. So find me the lousily doctor now!” He raised a gun threateningly at Vicky. Yes he was over stressed but I wasn’t quite certain how to deal with him, I certainly didn’t want him messing up my research by spraying my research project and equipment with stray bullets so I scooped up Rebecca’s toy and stepped in between them and shone the red dot at his knee cap.

The entire catering staff appeared from out of the night carrying an assortment of knives, shotguns and other weapons. Two rangers behind the officer also lifted their guns. Vicki spoke first “She’s a diplomat Major so if a single hair on her head gets harmed so does your career. If she takes out your knee cap you’ll have a permanent limp. Oh and she has no weapons training so if she shoots the recoil will bring the shots up to thigh level and a broken femur is good for two very unpleasant years in hospital on your back.” A second voice I recognised joined in from the side. “Todd, Walt, Megan is very special to me so if you could suggest to your major he lowers his gun I’ll suggest to the team we lower ours.”

“With respect Major we don’t want to start shooting our own side so I suggest we just talk this one through.” “Scared trooper!” “Yes sir, I am and not suicidal. Both Todd and myself have been on missions alongside Morgan’s team and they’re good. Even without Morgan and his team you’d still be facing at least eight armed Gurkhas.” Their weapons were lowered. “Megan I’m coming from the side don’t touch anything on the gun or move until I take it off you.” Morgan lifted the gun away and did something to make it safe.

“When did you last eat Major?” Vicki’s questioned in a friendly tone. “Your injured troopers won’t harm for being stabilised for a few minutes you have my word on it.” Morgan’s voice joined in. The Americans sat down in front of bowls of steaming hot curry. After the meal Todd asked to look over Rebecca’s gun. “I thought I recognised it. You don’t see them very often, only on some very odd confidential missions.”

Just then Lieutenant Scribing came ambling out of the night, complete with the guard. He asked the major if everything was fine. “It will be once the surgeons arrive.” “Surgeons? But we’re just a First aid post we don’t even have any doctors here. If your men need surgery there’s a MASH unit 15 minutes flight time north of here.” Well no one had clued him in and I don’t think any one was intending to. The major looked at Vicki. “He’s right you know if you’re sure they need surgery the MASH unit is the place. I’ll call them right now and prepare them for your visit.” She picked up the phone and dialled the number. “Hi Jenny its Vicky at Field First Aid Post 27 here. I have a Major from Delta force with two men whom he says need urgent surgery. I think he’d like two full operating theatres with the top doctors already to go when he gets there in 18 minutes. Yes you got it exactly, Vicki Field First Aid Post 27.” I scrambled away into the night to get the soldiers bloody uniforms back on them.

As we loaded the sleeping soldiers back into the helicopter Vicki had a quiet word with the pilot. “Next time remember you’ll get them there faster without the extra weight of an escorting officer.” We all waved it good bye as it swooped off into the night.

Needless to say when they discovered two uninjured sleeping soldiers on the theatre tables the Major was in trouble especially as surgeons had been woken and scrubbed up specially. Then we had a visit from the senior staff at the MASH unit wanting to see what role we had played. Vicki was magnificent she was painting her nails when the questioned her. “We’re a combined curry café and Field First Aid unit. I put a plaster on their grazes and send them back to their units with a kiss better. We don’t have any equipment for surgery I mean have a look round so when the Major demanded surgeons and so forth we passed them up to you. I just checked their vital signs, they seemed fine to me but I wasn’t going to argue with the gun pointing Major.” They raised their eyebrows at this but Vicki just shrugged her shoulders.

They looked but by that time we’d closed the doors on the containers and just shuffled them slightly around.

Well things seemed to be settling down and there were limits to how long I wanted to be away from my mice so I slipped back to my peaceful island. Well I could publish my mice findings, which bit of brain did what etc. and in research publishing is everything, but humans I couldn’t admit to doing anything with them could I? Vicki sent me lots of data about what correlated with what and we even sorted out eyeballs and eye sight. It wasn’t difficult to just average out eyes then check to see how it worked out in practise.

I’d prepared my first paper, it just skimmed what I’d been doing and didn’t make it sound too revolutionary after all there was enough material here for a dozen papers so I didn’t want to put too much meat in the first one when the satellite phone rang. My favourite general sounding very frustrated.

 “Let me get this straight everyone knows that to bring the fighting to a halt you need to solve the political problems. Everyone knows what the problems are but your politicians don’t want to raise the issues because they are too complicated or might offend someone who makes donations? So you’ve sent me a briefing note and you want me to make a highly publicised state visit to America and whilst there address the UN general assembly on the subject of the briefing note?” It all sounded rather complicated to me so I forwarded the briefing note to Jennifer for her comments. She’d called Kimberly our old room mate who had gone into marketing and together they thought it would be a great idea if “Queen” Megan was to make a formal state visit and after reviewing the note thought it would be a great subject for an address to the UN general assembly. I read through the note again. Yes it needed saying but how to make the best impact? A germ of an idea was beginning to form in my mind. Kimberly had some great ideas to make an even bigger impact. Could I practise a speech in two or more languages? We needed something to turn heads, stretched limos were old hat, but what did I think of a horse or open carriage if she could get one? I offered up my Haflinger. There was a pause at the other end, “As in pony?” “No as in tiny 4 wheel drive truck.” She replied she’d think about it. I asked Jennifer to look into what we needed for a New Mercia diplomatic passport and to hire Kimberly for the project.

I called the general back “I’ve an idea but I’ll need Morgan and his cooperation. Could you arrange it?” I got hold of Jennifer again and asked her very nicely to dig around the UN and see what the protocol was and what the sensitive points were going to be. Then I looked at how much money New Mercia had piling up in the bank. It looked like I could do this. Three hours later Morgan called me back. “I understand you’re desperate for my body again.” There were loud bangs in the background. “Sorry about the background noise but it’s time for the evening fire fight here.” “Morgan I need more than your body I need an entire formal bodyguard of Welshmen for three weeks for a trip to the UN assembly. Think you can find a few for me?” “What military types you mean?” “Yes but they must be Welsh.” “Right ho love might take me a day or two but I’ve an idea or two and the general’s ordered me to assist you so I can’t let him down now can I? I think I can get them to you by next Wednesday so see you then.”

Morgan turned up a week later on the beach in a nice shiny plane full of disabled men. “They placed one of these new planes at my disposal see so when I dropped back to Cardiff to the rehabilitation centre to see what I could dig up for you like, well it seemed such a shame to leave the seats empty in the back. So I told the lads we were going on an outing to a rugby match and asked who wanted to come along. Got you a nice mixed collection of SAS, SBS, SRR, Royal Marines, Paras, even got a few lads from Afghanistan Wat-d’-hell Welsh Choir so we can have a sing song like, and one rugby international forward who recently had a car accident. Wonderful player he was till the accident, really going places. Oh and there were a few Ghurkhas there as well who recognised my name and asked if I knew anything about you. So I filled up the back of the aircraft with them.” I should have guessed they would all need patching up. I explained that I wanted to put on a bit of a show in New York so I’d thought of using Welsh Mercenaries as Mercia had used in the past as a bodyguard. I had the general’s uniform contacts designing a New Mercia bodyguard of honour uniform did he have any ideas? “Pity we didn’t have fifteen ruby international players, then we could have a decent rugby match in the evening or perhaps a bit of culture, a choir concert.” A thought struck me, “But we have one don’t we. How big and muscular are rugby players?”

He led me over to meet the lads. “Oh by the way lads this is Megan, just imagine she’s a sort of fairy godmother or witch so be good lads and do as she says.” “Where’s this International Rugby Match you promised us then Morgan?” “I’ll have Kimberly arrange something against the American international Rugby team in three weeks so you’ll have a day or two to get in shape.” I replied “I want a decent bloody match not to play wheel chair Rugby being pushed round the field by an army of bloody nurses.” “Patience lads patience, I told you imagine she’s a bloody witch and if she says you’ll be playing in an International match then you’ll be playing in a bloody International match even if it is against the Americans.”

“You’re almost done but the last bit of your journey doesn’t quite meet current health and safety regulations so if you could just sign the releases we’ll get you on the way.” “Health and bloody safety be damned let me make my X.” Morgan and I popped them through the machine then gave them a glass of Scotch to help them with the shock. We popped the Rugby international and the singers through first then adjusted the settings. We gave them a bit more muscle for playing rugby for a start.

I had their measurements from the scanner and sent them off to the General so he could arrange suitable uniforms for my Welsh bodyguard. Well what’s the point in being named after a Welsh great grandmother if you can’t capitalise on it?

We had a few practise games on the island to sort out who would be the best players for the team and where they fitted in best. Finally the uniforms arrived and we were ready. I pre-programmed the machine to lose a few pounds, and to grow my hair out really long, well I wanted to look my best, and showed Morgan which button to press. Ten minutes later there was the new slimmer me ready to do battle and for the first time I could see clearly without my glasses. When I think of the problems I have with glasses, in the rain, losing them, and just trying to keep them clean I could have kicked myself for not doing it before. I glanced at Morgan and then the machine. “It will improve your eye sight you know.” He looked at me doubtfully then reluctantly climbed onto the scanner. I called Kimberly and asked her to set up a rugby match and hire a concert hall in New York.

We got dressed up formally when we reached the airport. I took one final look at my personal bodyguard who looked very smart with their hackles on their caps and their black ribbons at the back of their necks. A very sceptical security person looked us over. “I’m sorry but I don’t have instructions about these passports.” Bryn handed over a card from his wallet. “I think this gentleman heads up your security. Just call him and tell him the Afghanistan Wat-d’-hell Welsh Choir and party are here on diplomatic passports.” The guard looked sceptical but called from his cell phone. The phone was handed to Bryn who spoke a few words into it that I didn’t catch, then returned to the security person. “This way Sirs, Madam.” And we were through. I looked at Bryn “Personal knowledge helps in this game and Jamie’s just an old friend I’ve shared a fire fight or two so he knows us very well indeed, by the way where are you expecting to stay in New York?” “I hadn’t thought, one of the hotels?” “We can do better than that; a private home would be more secure. Let me make a call or two.”

We travelled first class, the flight attendant looked very nervously at my male hulks whenever she passed and finally we landed in New York. Bryn had arranged for me to stay with one of the New York society’s leading lights, most of my bodyguard would sleep on the apartment floor of her bodyguard over her garage. “Hi there I’m Gloria, Bud my body person has vouched for you but all he’s told me is you’re royalty and are here to address the UN. Now I’m having a little soiree here tomorrow evening so I’d be delighted if you could attend. Which country exactly did you say you were from?” “New Mercia.” “New Mercia sounds terribly interesting and European, I do hope you’ll excuse me I must go and confirm the caterers for tomorrow.” She drifted off obviously not terribly impressed with me but Morgan’s presence seemed to add an air of respectability.

Jennifer had briefed me well on the UN and had arranged for me to speak as Head of State. She also mentioned to me that whispers of what I had planned were circulating amongst the support staff and that various briefs and ideas had been accidentally left in her office or pressed into her hands as she walked the corridors of power but everyone was being very careful not to say a word to the politicians. Journalists had been discreetly briefed that something unusual might happen.

I was concerned about costs when I heard that Kimberly had booked the Carnie Hall for the charity concert and Yankee stadium for the charity Rugby match. Didn’t she know there were 50,000 seats and heaven knows how many party and VIP suites at the stadium? Still she’d done a word of mouth campaign amongst the exiled Welsh rugby fans and had sold 5,000 tickets for the rugby match for $18 a ticket. I looked at the figures, “I know that New Mercia is underwriting everything but at this rate they’d be better off if we just gave them the money direct.” “Patience my dear, this gives us a nucleus of people who know about the game and who can cheer at the right time. The other tickets will sell just as soon as I put the price up.” I was certain there was something I was missing here but Oh well she was the expert I had other things to worry about.

I inspected my bodyguard, they looked perfect in their highly polished boots and smart green uniforms. Why soldiers can look perfectly dressed in uniform but ordinary males never come anywhere near as smartly dressed I’ll never know. Then we set off for the assembly. Morgan chauffeured me in the tiny Haflinger and the bodyguard followed in two Pinzgauers that Kimberly had managed to locate. They were sort of larger versions of the Haflinger and we turned heads as we drove by.

As my time came to address the assembly I signed my bodyguard to go to the translation booths.

I started my speech, explaining who I was and that although New Mercia was not democratic we liked to do what we could to reduce conflict in the world and since I was an absolute ruler I didn’t have to answer to any voters or politicians, which raise smiles around the room. Then I switched into Welsh, and spoke of the traditional links between Mercia and the Welsh Mercenaries and how we continued the links today. The translators were floored, but my bodyguard stepped in nicely. Time for a joke to lighten the mood I slipped into Yiddish, “What is the definition of a perfect wife: Someone who helps her husband with the dishes.”

I continued with the general’s proposal in English. I switched into Arabic and put forth the more sensible of the Muslim ideas, Urdu, French, Mandarin, Hindi, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, German, and Farsi all followed, all spoken with a perfect accent from the brain patterns of native speakers that Vicki or I had treated. The Americans had been very quiet whilst I spoke. “Finally I would like to say how much we support the American idea of spending 6% of GDP on security.” The Americans sat up. “And to that end I have here a cheque for that amount made out to UNICEF so that they may continue their programs of inoculation and education as a long term solution so we may all have a more secure world to live in.” I sat down to uproar.

Morgan slid into the seat behind me. “I wasn’t quite expecting that. I’m not quite certain we’ll be able to get you out of here alive from the reactions I’ve seen. You’ve put some important people in a very awkward situation expressing affordable, sensible, common sense ideas in a way that will get reported worldwide directly in their native languages. I don’t know just who briefed you but I’d say they’d done their homework very well indeed. They’ve lost control and they won’t like it. Not only that but a woman expressing herself in Arabic and Farsi, they won’t like that at all.” I smiled sweetly at him “But I’ve every confidence in my Welsh bodyguard.” “By the way Lloyd and Bradwen are convinced you’re a witch until they tried they hadn’t realised they could speak so many languages.” They formed up in a close group around me and eased me towards the exit.

As we moved down the corridor our way was blocked by an Arab entourage. “Ah Queen Megan and her amazing multi tongued Welsh Mercenaries. Mercenaries can be brought I believe, I have need of translators who are so good” He looked directly at my Welshmen. ”I’ll double whatever she is paying you.”

“Your mistaking us for soldiers I think your highness.” One of his bodyguards nodded to Morgan then spoke into his ear. His highness raised an eyebrow. “But my bodyguard recognises you as being extremely efficient solders and I myself have seen Taffy training my troops. What are you if not soldiers and mercenaries?” Taffy spoke up from behind me. “Warriors sir, Soldiers serve in the armed forces for pay. Warriors don’t get paid so offering to double or triple our pay means nothing. I think you’ll find we are extremely loyal to Queen Megan and now if you don’t mind we’ll be on our way.”

Jennifer arranged a press conference and I fielded questions from journalists in many languages referring them to the briefing notes that Jennifer had prepared for me and now handed out copies. The use of the word warriors had somehow got out and been noted and was the source of many questions.

Kimberly was ecstatic when she called, she’d upped the price of the rugby match tickets to $300 each, the concert ticket prices were increased as well as suddenly both became the place to see and be seen. I was exhausted when we arrived back at Gloria’s home only to be greeted with open arms. “Your Majesty, I hadn’t realised just who you were. You do have your crown and tiara with you for tonight?” I looked blankly at her. “At least tell me you have a Paris gown?” She looked at me pleadingly. “The social coup of a lifetime, I’ve had embassies and heaven knows who calling me begging for an invite to tonight’s soiree. I’m opening up the gardens as well to accommodate more guests. I’m so excited. Thank heaven we have four hours to go shopping before this evening. Oh I don’t suppose we could use your warriors as waiters could we?” She pleaded, I looked at Morgan who first grimaced and then reluctantly nodded. “If you just tell Morgan what you’d like them to do and I could probably do with the support of Jennifer and Kimberly.” I was hustled out of the door and into a waiting limo.

That evening I was on display or rather introduced to everyone who was anyone. The diplomats were fascinated by how many languages I spoke even Sir Roderick was taken back and laughed when Gloria introduced him and I slipped into a thick Geordie accent. Well Jennifer did say he’d been born in Newcastle. The Norwegian Ambassador was especially impressed by my Norwegian, I didn’t like to admit it was by pure fluke since Vicki had treated one or two aid workers one of whom was Norwegian. Everyone wanted to know which language school to send their staff to. Morgan whispered something rude in my ear at that. One or two business men wanted to know about the tax arrangements for New Mercia and did we have a fibre Internet connection and a place to locate servers? I referred them to Jennifer. Morgan stayed by my side rescuing me from time to time. Gloria was ecstatic.

Of course the next day the front pages were full of headlines such as the Warrior Queen steals the show at the UN Assembly. Kimberly upped the remaining seats to $500 each and we still sold out.

I arrived at the game some twenty minutes early after ordering the St. Egbert’s day flowers, well traditions are so important, and took my seat with Kimberly on one side and Ivan the international rugby player on the other. We were in amongst the Welsh rugby fans at the side of the pitch. I was surprised to see so many empty seats in our section. The atmosphere was full of anticipation. “Perhaps I should have arranged a few cheerleaders or something to keep them entertained before the match.” Queried Kimberly, Ivan snorted.

I had Ivan sat beside me explaining the game when I heard the whirl of helicopters I remembered so well from Afghanistan above as two military helicopters came into view. They hovered overhead, as a stream of soldiers rappelled down the ropes dangling from the cabin. The crowd were enthralled. Needless to say I recognised the General once he took his helmet off and took a nearby seat. “Sorry we’re a bit late but we daren’t risk the traffic. Oh I brought a few interested parties along to cheer your side on. One or two mentioned they may drop in later.” Vicki gave me a wave as she shed her helmet. Then I saw Captain Simon Matthews stood behind him and my catering staff. I raised an eyebrow, but Jennifer who was sat behind me leaned forward and whispered in my ear “No need to worry your mice are fine, the nice BBC film crew are studying the puffins and their biologist is looking after your white mice.” so I relaxed. Fifteen minutes to go, I was getting nervous would the team be up to international standards? Would the crowd get bored without cheerleaders and why were there quite so many empty seats down here at the front where they were so visible? Especially after Kimberley had told me it was a complete sell out.

The sky seemed to darken, I panicked, was it going to rain? An eclipse? I looked up to see a sky full of parachutes, but I didn’t remember hearing any planes. “Special forces showing off again.” I heard the General sigh behind me. He looked across at me, “I’d heard they were planning something and this part of the city has a minimum height for aircraft so they’ve basically used HALO.” I looked blank, “Skydiving if you like, the plane flies very high then they skydive until they open their parachutes.” They landed almost in rippling wave formation smoke pouring from canisters attached to some of their ankles, six in a line at one end of the pitch, then a second wave a bit closer to the middle, and so on. As soon as they landed they gather in their chutes and ran to the side of the pitch to make room for more. Eventually when they were all landed and had taken off their helmets I was astounded to recognise Todd and Walt amongst the others take their seats behind me. “Hi Queen Megan, the guys thought we’d just have time to fit in the game before the next push.” “Wouldn’t want to miss a chance to cheer on members of the Wat-d’-hell Welsh Choir for the world.”

I shook my head in amazement, they couldn’t really have flown directly over here for a game of rugby could they? “They did you know.” Jennifer whispered in my ear. Sometimes she can read my mind it can be too embarrassing for words. Eventually with help from the rugby player besides me I understood a little about the scoring system, I counted four different ways judging when a cry would go up “We’ve scored!” “I feel as if I’m out there on the field myself, the team just plays as if its one person. It’s quite amazing when you consider they’ve only been playing together for three weeks and some had never even played before.” I didn’t like to amaze him and tell him there were fifteen copies of his memory for playing rugby on the field. The game just seemed to flow, there didn’t seem to be any breaks in the play to fit adverts in or anything.

At half time we were trailing by five points so I left my seat and wondered into the players’ room to give them a few words of encouragement and remind them all it was St. Egbert’s day, and its significance in New Mercia’s history. The second half started fine soon we were winning again, but the game moved so quickly we were losing, then winning, then trailing once more. I closed my eyes and listened to the commentary from my knowledgeable player at my side and just prayed. As the game was drawing to an end we were 25-26 down. Morgan was close enough for him to hear me shout “Do something Morgan!” in a panicking sort of voice. He ran, intercepted then booted the ball in between the posts for a drop goal which my international shouted out “That’s it lads we’ve won!” At 28-26 our supporters were as ecstatic as the players on the field. After the game we, meaning the team, the girls and a few friends from the engineers from the island all came back to Gloria’s mansion. Well to Budd’s sprawling apartment over the ten car garage. Budd had laid on a few casks of Buckley’s Best Bitter which were welcomed with open arms. I tried a sip but honestly I think it must be an acquired taste. There was a knock at the door and there were the St. Egbert’s day flowers all laid out in boxes, lots of Red roses all tagged by name surrounded by a few White, Yellow and Blue Freesias grouped in posies.

I looked directly at Vicki, “Did you ever come across the St. Egbert’s day tradition in your researches?” She looked at me warily, “No.” “The one where to reward her warriors in battle her handmaidens welcomed and rewarded any warrior who had been victorious on St. Egbert’s day and only on St. Egbert’s day, and who presented her with a posy of flowers with their bodies.”

Jennifer licked her lips, Kimberly cried out “But I’m engaged!” Vicki whispered in her ear and Kimberly went bright red “Really? Well I suppose it’s not as if I was actually married.”

I grabbed hold of Simon plus a Blue posy and ushered him into the bedroom as well as the girls. “Kimberly they’re all colour coded, Blue posy normal, Yellow enhanced width, White extra length and Red for both.” “There were an awful lot of red roses out there.” Kimberly queried, Vicki and Jennifer grinned wickedly like cats who have just found the dish of cream. “Now I suggest you start with Simon, he’s Blue but has a very special way with words.” Simon looked at me pleadingly. “You promised.” He gasped, I cocked my head on one side “Shall I...” I paused, and stepped towards the door as the girls advanced on poor Simon. Jennifer was looking thoughtful. “Simon or Bill?” Simon looked even more frightened. “Oh you mean Mr. S?” Chirped in Vicki as she picked up the thread. Kimberly smiled “So all we have to do is listen and if he doesn’t sing sweetly we just tell the others he knows lots of poetry?” I laughed as I slipped through the door “Have fun girls.” “But aren’t you staying?” “Sorry I have catch up on some paperwork with Morgan.” As I slipped my arm through his. He looked at me oddly “Paperwork?” he asked in a puzzled voice. “Paperwork, you are going to show me your etchings aren’t you?” I grinned as I led him back to my room.