The Manager by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author.  All copies must be of the complete document.  ©2014  Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not.

Luv Karen  

I’d been summoned to the corner office, never a good sign.  “Katherine come in, come in.”  My name is Kelly not Katherine.  “Now we’re a bit short staffed on the project at the moment and I’d like you to just look after it until we can hire a new go getting manager.”  They’d lost another manager on the project, not surprising really they only hire ones that everyone else is after.  “Do I get manager’s pay?”  “Well think of it more as a training experience.”   No extra pay then, still it was worth a try.  “I’d better get down there then.”

If the project panned out the company was made, if it didn’t it was down the tubes so manager’s pay or not I’d better try to keep the company going.  I slid into the project room where the programmers were assembled.  “Hi guys what’s the meeting about?”  “Hi Kelly, it’s yet another new manger time who needs to be briefed and add his stamp to things.”  “Well I hate to disappoint you but there isn’t a new manager this morning so temporarily you’ve got me.”  Their faces were a study in shock.  “For how long?” “Probably until I remind him to get another manager.”  I left them and got to the coffee pot first before returning to my cubical.

Jennifer one of the senior programmers arrived shortly afterwards with Brian who is one of the trainees I think is cute in tow.  “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”  He muttered as he squeezed into my cubical.  “You want those two training courses don’t you?”  Jennifer asked pointedly.  I began to wonder what was going on here.  “Well yes.”  “If we get another super project manager the first thing he’ll do is cut costs starting with training courses and the specialist out of town ones you’re after will be top of his list.”  “Well if you put it like that.”  What was Brian going to do next I wondered.  “On your knees.”  Jennifer commanded.  Wow he was going to beg?  He looked so sweet and bashful.  “If Brittany blew the last project manager for her courses then the least you can do is eat Kelly out for yours.”  I looked at them both, were they mad?

Jennifer looked at me, “We want you to stay, to keep the project managers sweet and out of our hair we hired Jessica as a tester and she used to blow them to keep them occupied.  I’m sure you think Brian is cute, so you get Brian as your personal sex slave if you stay on.”  Brian went bright red.  I got up and kissed him on the lips, delicious, “Maybe.”  I scribbled my address down on a scrap of paper “Formal interview this evening I think at seven p.m.”  “Do you own a tux?”  Jennifer asked Brian, Brian shook his head in reply, “Well then we must be going to get you kitted out and to do a small refresher course on what’s expected this evening then hadn’t we?”  She ushered him out of my small cubical.  Later that afternoon I was passing Victoria’s cubical “Now the important bit is not to stimulate the clit directly with your tongue all the time, work round it.  Has he got it right now Victoria?”  I could hear Victoria moaning, I couldn’t resist, “I have sensitive feet and toes by the way so don’t forget them.”  I slipped away on the sound of Jennifer’s voice saying, “We mustn’t forget the rest of her body, now Victoria, my feet or yours?”

I returned home and dug out something meaty from the freezer, I tried hard not to remember when it was I’d frozen it.  I poured a glass of red wine into it to freshen it up then had a soak in the bath.  Well if Jennifer succeeded in dressing him up in a tux I thought the least I could do would be to dress up as well.  Right at the back of my wardrobe I found it.  My just in case Prince Charming ever turned up silky evening dress.  I tried it on, miracles it still fitted or should I say clung?  I selected my most confidence inspiring set of unmentionables and looking through the rest I decided it really was time to buy some new underwear.  At seven p.m. on the dot a brightly polished nervous Brian was on the doorstep dressed in a tux and clutching a bunch of flowers.  Three dozen Freesias, Jennifer had been working him hard.  I took them from him, chopped the ends off and popped them in a water jug in the kitchen then transferred them to the table with only the slightest hint of arranging them. They looked gorgeous.  I served up in the kitchen then carried the plates through.  The rest of the red wine was already in glasses on the table.  Once he had a couple of mouthfuls of braised steak inside him he looked at me “I like it, where did you buy it?”  I glowered at him, “Believe it or not I can cook.”  “You mean it's not out of a packet?”  Brian’s chances of any training courses whatever in his life time were disappearing over the horizon very fast.  “I’m very impressed.”  OK maybe one beginners one for Microsoft Word.  He ate it all up then asked if there was any more going.  OK I decided to let him off and took his plate through to refill it with the portion I planned to have for supper the next day.

We let the meal go down and chatted generally, me perched on his lap, sort of probing exploring questions about each others tastes.  My skin tingled beneath the silk as his fingers rested on my gown.  Eventually I thought it was time to see just how good he was, so I kissed him on the lips then took him by the hand and dragged oops gently steered him towards the bedroom and the clean sheets.  He was good, very good in fact and my feet and toes lapped up the attention they craved.  Afterwards we lay back in bed.  “I hope you weren’t too dissatisfied, at college my girl friend thought I ought to last longer than twenty minutes inside.”  “Not at all.”  I purred, twenty minutes, I’d been lucky if mine had lasted ten.  “So do I get my training courses?”  Men and their one track minds.  “Well if you continue to keep me satisfied.”  

“Guys if we could keep Kelly life would be so much easier than if we had yet another star project manager.”

“How long for?”  “Until he finds a new manager I guess.”  They looked at each other round the table and finally one spoke up “So we might even keep you?”  “Don’t hold your breath.  How do we stand with the project is it doable?”  “Confidentially it’s a bit tight but yes it’s basically doable.”  “What can I do to help?  If you have any needs or suggestions want to pass them on to me?  I suppose the first thing is to cancel the progress meetings so class dismissed.”

I looked at the project budget, plenty of cash available especially as staff turnover was so high and more programmers weren’t thick on the ground.  In fact there was enough money in the budget to hire some support staff.  So I did.  I called Paige, a librarian I knew who’d just been downsized to come in and give me a hand.  Crèche was the first word she said.

I hired three nursery nurses as beta testers of course and we took over one of the old conference rooms.  That afternoon I had five calls did we have any vacancies for programmers.  I hired them all sight unseen.  I was sure we’d find something for them to do.  I was surprised by the take up for the crèche but mothers these days worked apparently and that meant crèche places were at a premium.  Paige’s next suggestion was a chef rather than the daily Pizza boxes and coke the guys lived on.  I thought that hiring one would be difficult but no once they found out it was normal office hours we had our choice so two more people joined the beta testing team.  Not only that but apparently whilst the waiters and waitresses made really good money with tips chefs didn’t see any of the tips so we were offering a competitive salary would you believe?  We served breakfast and productivity went up.  Then Paige thought we ought to document as we went along.

I read up about programmers and it appeared that their level of concentration and productivity built up over time so a momentary interruption would affect productivity for at least half an hour.  

So I set up office in the coffee room and only talked to them when they drifted in and were ready for a break.  We hired female social science grads as their assistants, each girl was assigned a programmer and it was her job to ensure their coffee cup was replenished, initial code tested, and more importantly the project plan got fed with any changes.  They also made notes and fed them back to Paige.  The social scientists had strange ideas such as talking to the clients and getting feedback.  So I let them.  They drifted off and demonstrated what we had done so far and we made adjustments according to the feedback we received.  The programmers seemed to like it for as they said the earlier the requests came in the easier and quicker it was to make the changes and the less impact it had.

I hate progress meetings but the man in the corner wasn’t to be denied so I attended a progress meeting.  “So how far are we on with the project?”  “Well we’re about 90% complete.”  “Yes well we’ve all seen projects that are 90% complete before so that normally means about 50% complete and two more years before we see anything.  I’d better renew my efforts to find a new outside project manager.”  A voice from the far end of the table spoke up “But I thought the system was complete, my staff have been using it for the last three weeks.”  I shrugged “Officially they’re Beta testing it, but they haven’t found any problems so far, no really the only thing left to do is the documentation, the training guides, a formal sign off and to handhold users for the first month or two.”  I thought the man in the corner was going to have some sort of nervous attack.  “But we haven’t had a project manager setting goals and overseeing the programmers.”  The voice from the far end of the table chimed in again “So who was managing the project?”  “Me, I’m the temporary one.”  “Well for bringing it in before time and complete with features that my staff asked for but were told couldn’t be incorporated by the last project manager I think she should be confirmed in the job and paid a special bonus.  All in favour.”  There were nods all round.