The Wedding by Karen Blayne

Oh bye the way, red tape first.

© Karen Blayne 2014. All copies must be of the complete document.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus if they are not suitable for you put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun.

Luv Karen

Tilda looked round Wilhelm’s bar, and felt a sense of achievement. She’d persuaded Wilhelm to split the bar into four zones each with a different character and more to the point slightly different menus and prices. Well it was either that or no summer job as the bar’s fortunes rose or fell according to the ships that came into the space port. No what she’d managed to do was build up a regular customer base from those people who lived near the space port that kept the bar ticking over between ships. She steered a full crew of celebrating space crew members towards Astrid’s section at the back, where Astrid and Paulina in their abbreviated waitress outfits would soon have them eating out of their, well as long as the other guests weren’t offended who was to know and it was very profitable.

She glanced at the screen and noticed the paramedics were on their way, so she popped into the kitchen and glancing over the meals being prepared, hijacked two plates and carried them off later she’d write a new order to replace them. She’d just placed the plates down on the empty table as the two paramedics came in and sat down. They had barely thirty minutes break to eat but they were regulars and paid a monthly set fee. She wondered back into the kitchen and wrote up a new order then hurried out to table twenty-three to see if they needed appeasing for the slight delay. Two tourists, lovers, looking at each other across the table lost to everything and everyone else so they wouldn’t mind too much.

“We wanna see the boss.” “I’m sorry he’s not available just at the moment.” “Tell him we’re here to collect our monthly fee.” “Yeah and it's gone up by 10% seeing as he’s late and we had to come in person.” The second guy pulled out a knife and there was a click as he pressed the button causing the blade to fly out. Tilda wasn’t quite sure what to do but just then one of the fit young men who dropped by from time to time walked by and stumbled. When he’d straightened up, one gentleman had fallen to the ground hitting his head on a table edge on the way down the other looked in disbelief at the knife hilt sitting out of him. “Are you all right Miss?” Her knight in shining battle fatigues asked. “Shouldn’t we see to those poor men on the ground first?” “You’d had a shock so just sit down for a moment or two.” The local beat officer came in for his coffee and cake glanced down at the man bleeding on the floor. “Has anyone called for a paramedic yet?” “There are two on the other side having their break at the moment.” “Best not disturb them. They might have something more urgent to attend to besides they deserve their break. Have you got a mobile handy?” She passed him her mobile and he dialled 911, “Two men have tripped over could you send someone?” He closed the phone and returned it to her. “I’ll just have a coffee if I may.” Tilda made herself busy with getting him his coffee. The two paramedics finished their meal and nodding to the beat policeman slipped out the door. Tilda asked her knight what he’d like suggesting the Goulash which he agreed to. It was twenty minutes before another team of paramedics arrived. The policeman guided them to the man who’d fallen first. “He looks in a bad way to me.” The looked him over, “I think he’s gone but we’ll try the AED first and let them decide when we get to the hospital. How about the other one?” They turned and bent over the second man who’d received the knife “Pity we didn’t get here earlier, still with just the mobile signal to go on it took us a bit longer than it would have done if we’d been called on a regular line.” They brought in a second wheeled stretcher and wheeled both bodies off.

“You knew.” Tilda turned on the beat policeman, “Recognised them both, saved a lot of paperwork.” “But you could have mentioned it was urgent.” The experienced policeman took her to one side, “They’ve been running a protection racket on my patch for about a year now but no one would talk. I’m not qualified to express an opinion on how urgent their medical condition was now am I?”

A family stepped in and Martha stepped forward to greet them and guide them towards the family area. A group of fit young men walked in there must have been four dozen of them, and they scanned the room quietly as they entered. Tilda stepped forward and opened up the closed section so they could sit together on one long table. “Something to drink?” as she handed them the menus. One snorted at that, “We heard the Goulash is good.” “Four dozen Goulashes then?” Nods all round “And spring water to drink?” More nods, she dashed back to the kitchen and the pressure cookers were soon on to eek out the Goulash pot with extra steak and vegetables. Even so they were short for those hungry men, she fed them soup with plenty of hot fresh bread first whilst the Goulash melded then borrowed the sweet trolley to carry out the plates of heaped food. She relaxed as they ate and welcomed a party of well-to-do young ladies who went directly for the sweet trolley and coffee. She recognised them as being rich merchants’ daughters and accolades “But I want something really special for my wedding.” One moaned, “Something that people will remember. Cost is no object but it must be different and memorable, something like Earth and a country church in a village.” “Pater will never agree to sitting on a space ship for two years to get there though, never mind the two years back.” “Have another slice of chocolate cake.” There was a token “I shouldn’t really.” Before another slice disappeared.

Her lone spacer in his ubiquitous baseball cap came in, Tilda wondered about the rest of his crew but he came in a different times to any of the normal crews. On her latest course she’d found out that you needed a team of twelve pilots and copilots in order to have two on duty twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, she wondered where his other eleven crew members were. She held out a chair for him, “Your usual?” He nodded, he wasn’t very talkative but she had hopes of finding out about his work sometime. She lightly brushed his arm with her breast as she lent forward to straighten his silver ware. The group of fit young men signalled they’d like their bill. She was given a Federation credit card to pay for it all. Federation Government then, you didn’t see many Federation cards about. “Where would we find a space ship we could charter immediately to get to Kappa 23?” “Have you tried the normal shipping agents?” “They have nothing.” Tilda hadn’t a clue but perhaps her lone spacer might have a connection, she carried a glass of micro brewery beer across to his table. “Whom would these guys talk to if they wanted to charter a space ship immediately to Kappa 23?” She nodded at the group. “Are they legit?” “Well they paid with a Federation credit card.” He stopped the beer glass moving towards his lips and put it back on the table. “Damn.” He looked at his watch “I’ll be back in about five hours so save me a table.” He raised himself and walked over to the group who were still drinking coffee. “How soon would you like to get there?” “This afternoon for preference but if we can get there in a month, we’ll be happy. We’re willing to pay a premium for speed.” “Just the guys who are here?” “Plus three standard containers of equipment down in the dock.” He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly “If you care to follow me.”

Tilda decided to work late that evening, well they were short staffed, and a tourist liner had arrived wanting to sample the local authentic food. The restaurant was packed but she found her lone spacer a chair and sat him in her resting hole. “Hope you don’t mind but its very crowded tonight.” He shrugged his nonchalant shrug “As long as my food is OK and you still have a microbrew beer.” She noticed Martha had seated the local beat policeman in her work space for his free coffee and cake. When the rush was over and the tourists served she returned “Did you manage to find them a space ship?” He nodded, “Would you like a free sweet trolley to compensate for the crowded corner tonight? I think all the chocolate cake has gone though.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Could you bring me two slices of chocolate cake tomorrow at the ship?” “Have them delivered you mean?” “No bring them yourself personally.” He scribbled out the ship’s number and docking port on the bill. She thought about it weighing her desire to look over his ship rather than just look at pictures in a book against the possible dangers to herself. Did she trust him? She rather thought she did. “Between nine and ten before the lunchtime rush?” He nodded his acceptance and handed over a large note to pay for his meal together “Will that cover the cake as well?” “More than enough I’ll just go and get you your change.” “Keep it.” He smiled rising before walking out the door.

The next morning she dressed herself up in fresh new underwear, not that she was that sort of girl you understand but there had been a newspaper article about a woman being knocked down by a mass transportation vehicle only yesterday. When she arrived at the port gate, she found the security guard had been briefed to supply her with a security pass and to admit her.

She found the ship easily enough and he met her at the open door. “May I peek inside?” She asked and he stepped to one side so she could enter. He gave her a short conducted tour round the ship and she noticed one or two small single armed tracked robots and a few that looked more human. “They’re useful for reconstructing parts of the ship when it needs it. They can lift more weight than I and have a longer reach.” Tilda still thought the ship was all wrong. There were two huge cargo bays rather than the normal one and she didn’t notice any tanks for fuel. She couldn’t think where the rest of the crew lived either but didn’t like to say anything. “Perhaps you could just sit down and eat the cake.” “Don’t you want a slice?” “No I’m happy but I’d like you to eat them now.” What a very odd request, Astrid had mentioned some of her customers asked her to do quite bizarre things from time to time but nothing quite like this. He turned away and browsed his computer screen whilst she ate and savoured first one slice and then the second of the gooey chocolate cake not paying her any attention whatsoever. She puzzled over this and then she had a thought. She quickly glanced at the back of his engrossed head then dived in her handbag and retrieved her battery powered wand vibrator. She opened her legs and gently held it in place at the top of her thighs. She was already beginning to moisten at the thought of being caught if he turned his head. She thought about her other fantasies that she used when masturbating and let the feelings grow within her until she climaxed with a moan, but she heard an echoing moan in her mind. Then suddenly it all made sense.

“Hello” she thought “Did you enjoy the chocolate cake?” “Oh dear I gave myself away didn’t I? Martin I’ve been rumbled.” “A very expensive taste of chocolate cake, I hope it was worth it.” “Oh it was her sense of taste was really enjoyable, and her sensations as she ate it as well.” “So what do we do to make sure she doesn’t talk?” Tilda had a moment of panic. “Oh we can bribe her. I'm sure.” “What sort of bribe?” “Well reading her mind when she came in she’s studying to be a space pilot.” “You mean keep her captive on the ship?” “In a nice sort of way. If we took her on as crew then since we have all the lectures and stuff she could just sit the exams, we’re both qualified pilots so she could do her flight hours with us as well.” “Besides she likes to eat gooey chocolate cake.” “Well there is that as well.” “Go and give him a kiss on the lips.” Tilda hesitated “Did I mention that it's normal that the crew get 10% of the profits? And since you’ll be the only crew member that should net you ϕ1,000,000+ per year.” For that kind of money Tilda could set aside both her friends and scruples. She approached Martin kissing him tentatively on the lips. “Oh I liked that, my first kiss, I thought I’d never get to kiss you even if I had to share it.”

“So what exactly are you?” “Perhaps I should explain I was on my way to becoming a pilot when I had a rather bad accident and ended up wired into the ship. I brought it with the compensation money. It’s not a bad life, better than being quadriplegic, stuck in a hospital bed all day being fed by tubes but I do miss some sensations like chocolate cake and whatever else you did. How did you suspect me by the way?” “Well it takes 12 pilots and copilots to run a ship if you have two on duty 7 by 24 and no way would that number of crew fit in here especially with a cook etc.” “Do we trust her?” “Might as well.” “You only need that number of crew if you fly more than 12 hours at a time. Since Mariken added a new engine we rarely take an hour to get anywhere once we’re in space so half an hour into space then an hour’s travel and half an hour back down again. The only tricky bit is making sure no one spots how fast we travel.” “My god what sort of exotic fuel does it use.” “Garbage.” “Garbage?” “E=MC squared remember? Garbage gives us all the energy we need and it's cheap. We just dump out a pulsar stream at the back. It was quite easy to build with the robots and my interface, look I’ll show you.” Tilda’s mind was suddenly connected to a robot, she could see through its cameras and feel its sense of touch in its arm. “Creepy.” “I can switch cameras so you can see in infrared.” There was less detail, or UV suddenly there was more detail.” “It gets a bit boring sitting here for a month or so at a time doing nothing even a short run so I used the robots to build a pulsar engine on the back. Once I’d worked out that a magnetic flux could be used to contain everything the rest was simple but it does need a bit of delicate hand on the controls so it's not quite ready for prime time yet but once I get the feedback mechanisms worked out it will be.”

“Not having the extra weight of crew and fuel means extra profit as its less food to carry etc. and having two cargo bays means that we get the paperwork for one with its cargo and separate paperwork for the other one with its cargo but if anyone looks at the manifest it just details the right amount of cargo for the size of ship.” “So when those Federation guys needed to go somewhere fast you just took them then came back to eat your food? Where did you fit them in?” “They just all crammed themselves onto the flight deck and stood for a couple of hours.” “My God.” “They paid us a premium for getting there so quickly. Mind you, the worse bit was not being able to have my beer, we aren’t supposed to drink for twelve hours before flying.” “Martin tells me we should thank you for suggesting us to them.” “Well I knew Martin was a space pilot or some such just thought he was a not very sociable one.” “He can’t stand his own cooking.” “And the mind reading?” “Oh I just have the flight deck wired up that way, it's faster than the voice synthesizer when I need to communicate with Martin quickly. Mind you I can turn it off and often do especially when Martin has one of his curries with extra onions. It's so gross.”

“So what you really need is someone who’ll pay for fast travel but not realise how fast they’d been travelling? If I wanted to take a wedding party to Earth for a society wedding in a country church could you do it?” “I think the bride and bridesmaids' dresses would fill the flight deck. How many and how much?” “Say three hundred guests and mega mega bucks.” “Well if we had three hundred seats maybe.” “So I’ll get the bride and we’ll talk?” “Sure.”

Sofie held her nose in the air as she walked through the space docks. “It doesn’t look the sort of place I want to bring my wedding guests.” “Trust me a little?” “I’m not sure I should.” “Just a little further.” Martin dressed in his newest, cleanest flight suit welcomed them aboard. “If you just like to take a seat.” He offered her the copilot's chair which was carefully brushed off before Sofie sat down gingerly. Tilda went and lay back on the bed as they were shot into space from the space port’s linear motor launcher. “We’re flying? Is it far?” “About an hour’s flight so not too far.” “Is there an in flight movie or something?” Tilda wondered if she could cope with another hours complaints but then had the bright idea of asking Sofie what her perfect wedding would be. A dreamy look came into her eyes “I think something with an old world village church and a real horse drawn gleaming carriage for me to ride in, fresh flowers of course...” Tilda paid close attention so she could say appropriate words to let every last minute detail flood out. “It has to be Retro of course so one of those old-fashioned aeroplane things you see in the movies to transport all the guests in or would a steam train be more retro? Some sort of cuisine something different but not too exotic to turn off the great aunts. My dad likes to think he’s an engineer so something with moving parts and wheels would appeal to him, but there again a barge with musicians perhaps drifting down river...”

Mariken landed them in a field close to a steeped church. Sofie clapped her hands when she caught sight of it. “Oh it's so perfect I hadn’t realised anything like this still existed. It would be worth ϕ10 million just to be able to have the wedding here.” Martin handed Tilda his baseball cap, “It’ll protect your nose from the sun.” He said rather too nonchalantly so Tilda took the proffered cap. Once on Mariken beamed a thought at her “Besides which this way I can stay in touch with your thoughts and no we don’t need a linear motor launcher to take off but it would look extremely odd if we didn’t make use of it at the space port.” Tilda and Sofie strolled to inspect the church where the Vicar stood waiting at the picturesque lychgate for them. “May I help you?” “I’d like to get married here in about six weeks time?” “I’m sorry my dear but the roof is in a terrible state and if it rained all the guests would get wet.” “Could it be repaired?” “The builder quoted £25,000 and of that we managed to raise £43.12 so far, if you’d like to make a donation?” Sofie had wondered off into the church yard exclaiming over the Norman Romanesque architectural features whilst Tilda got out the ship’s debit card and made ϕ120,000 donation to the church roof fund. “Will that be enough to ensure the roof will be repaired in time.” The Reverend overcome by the size of the gift assured her that for that amount the roof could be properly restored ten times over. They followed Sofie into the church where she exclaimed that it was rather dusty, could anything be done? The Vicar assured her the members of the Women’s Institute would perform a miracle and bring it back up to its normal gleaming self once the tarpaulins that were tied under the roof were removed. “Flowers I must have masses of flowers and somewhere for the wedding breakfast?” She looked towards the Vicar “I thought to limit it and make it more exclusive shall we say three hundred guests though mother will probably want to sneak in another couple of hundred.” The Vicar looked taken back “Possibly the ballroom at the manor might be big enough I suppose.” “Lead the way.”

They walked along a well-worn footpath with hedges either side until the Manor house appeared in sight. “It’s not very far then is it.” “Well no when the church and the Manor house were built the normal method of transportation would have been by foot so the Manor house was built fairly close to the church. It’s from a much later date than the church of course, nearly two hundred years later but its still a fine building for a modern one.” Tilda shook her head modern? It looked hundred’s of years old to her.

“Morning Frank, I wonder if we might have a word?” Frank gave his permission. “This young lady who arrived in the ship down by the river wants to get married in our church and we wondered if you might manage to allow them to hold the wedding breakfast in your ballroom.” “May I have a peek?” An excited Sofie dashed into the hall opening doors left and right and exploring. Frank looked perturbed. “I’ve already had a large donation to repair the church roof so I suspect money won’t be a problem.” “I think she’s aiming for the society wedding of the millennium.” Added Tilda quietly. “Have you had lunch? No obviously not, let’s move into the dining room so we can have a bite to eat and discuss matters.”

They sat round the table and were quietly served by Frank’s housekeeper. Sofie looked suspiciously at her plate and then followed the example of the others cutting through the pastry and scooping some into her mouth. “It’s amazing it tastes like real meat in pastry but why would anyone want to serve real meat in pastry?” “Because it is real meat perhaps raised on the estate.” Murmured Frank, “But could you serve up three hundred portions, it's different it's just so so words fail me.” The apple pie and ice cream found favour as well. “These three hundred guests that are coming will they be coming by ship?” “Well yes.” “I think for three hundred they really ought to come through an official port of entry.” “Where is the nearest one?” “Well that would be Little Hampton-next-the-Sea and the harbour master. It’s not far just at the end of the heritage railway line.” Sofie’s jaw dropped. “You have a rail road here with a steam locomotive and such?” “I think the last steam loco was retired last year. The cost of recertifying the boiler was too much.” Sofie turned to Tilda, “ϕ15 million” she whispered “Just make it happen.” “Tilda” Mariken’s thought arrive in Tilda’s mind. “Martin has found somewhere with a supply of seats for the ship, could you pack Sofie off to us and we’ll take her on a tour of inspection to see what she thinks whilst you do the negotiating and organising?” Tilda mentally agreed to do what she could with ϕ2 million. Sofie was happy to return to the ship to see what had been arranged whilst Tilda sat down to work out the gritty details. When Frank and the housekeeper understood just what was being offered they concluded that yes the Manor and the church would shine like never before and a sit-down meal for five hundred could be accommodated if they used all the different sets of bone china that were sitting in the attics. The housekeeper thought that one or two villagers might have their good sets tucked away as well. Flowers well the Vicar thought members of the local W.I. were very good at doing the flowers normally for the church and he felt sure for a consideration something might be arranged.

Tilda gave Frank ϕ200,000 on account which he seemed to think would be more than enough even as compensation for the field that was now mostly charred grass. “Now what about this railway did you call it? Where do we find it a whatever it was locomotive?” Frank walked her round to the stables and helped her into the horse drawn trap. At the back of her mind Tilda tried to recall something about a horse drawn carriage? “Could you find a more elegant horse drawn carriage?” There’s always the landau I suppose in the carriage house.” “And horses?” “Oh they aren’t a problem compared to the cost of fuel these days the horses are cheap and run on a bit of grass and hay.” At the railway station he sort out the volunteers, who were busy painting the wooden paling fence white. “Know anyone with a steam locomotive for sale then?” “If you can raise £250,000 there’s tank engine available.” Frank looked towards Tilda. “OK but if I buy it for them then they have to tidy up the station and find a few plants in plant pots to make it look prettier. Could you find a pretty girl to show a would-be engineer how to drive the train? Oh and how many coaches do we need for five hundred people? And if you haven’t got that many can we just buy them?” “Do you think you could use the concrete slabs next to the sidings where the old factory used to be for landing next time? Might save a blade or two of grass.”

As Tilda was negotiating, Martin was landing the ship amongst a number of aircraft resting in a boneyard in the Arizona desert. “Well shall we have a look round and see if they have some suitable seats?” The first few they looked at Sofie thought that the front ones were great but the ones towards the rear of the plane looked too cramped. “I’d like five hundred seats like those nice ones in the front please.” The salesman thought for a moment “We have a rather nice double deck jumbo that has all business class seats on the top deck, the lower deck has a few economy seats but we could soon change them to be business or first class. The engines are shot of course but you don’t seem to be interested in them.” Martin put his finger to his lips as Sofie was about to exclaim just how wonderfully retro it all was and how it reminded her of a movie she’d seen once before the salesman put the price up. Mariken’s robots soon hacked off the wings and engines and the rest just fitted nicely into the first cargo bay, well once the robots had trimmed the tail off as well.

Sofie could hardly contain herself as the robots very carefully cleaned and conditioned the leather seats until they came up like new. “They’re real leather all five hundred of them. I just don’t believe it.” She stepped round the spiral staircase as she descended from the upper deck to the lower one. “It’s just like the one they had in the old-fashioned romantic movies.” Martin guided her back to the flight deck and as they skimmed back Sofie tried hard to ignore the pounding from the rear as the robots worked to mate up the old fuselage to the more modern interior. The in-flight movie screens for example only accepted an old computer format that needed the movies to be converted before playing but these were details that Sofie was sure any engineer could put right, that’s what engineers were for right?

They picked up Tilda and arranged to return to move the locomotive and whatever carriages could be arranged in two weeks time which would still leave time for all the brass work to be polished up nicely. Sofie seemed to be walking on a cloud as she left. Martin returned from the dock yard gate where he had escorted her waving a communication. “If we’ve time those guys we flew last time want to get somewhere in a hurry and they’ll pay a premium for our services.” Mariken let Tilda take off for as she said you have to start somewhere and with Mariken telling Tilda which button to press and which dial to look at next it wasn’t terribly complicated.

“So how many can you fit in?” “We’re just fitting in another five hundred seats so I suppose you could make use of them?” “Cargo space?” “5,000 standard containers.” “Right we’ll fill you up then.” “Where are we off too?” “Sealed orders I’m afraid.” Martin shrugged well at least they paid well. An hour later they had four hundred and eighty space marines and twenty elite troopers of the strong silent variety.

They took off and thirty minutes later on the flight deck crowded by two officers one from the elite group the other who commanded the marine force the sealed orders were broken open. “Right here’s the coordinates we’ll travel in convey with three Navel ships for protection.” “I’m sorry but we can’t travel that slowly.” “Slowly these are the fastest ships in the fleet!” “So if we hit our maximum they’ll keep up?” “Certainly, the finest ships are with us.” The second officer quietly grinned behind his superior’s back. Mariken opened the throttle and their ship pulled away from its protective navel force. “Would you like to return to the passenger cabin as there isn’t much to see here.” Tilda guided them safely off the flight deck before changing into a light flimsy summer dress with just a tiny pair of knickers beneath. She’d tease Martin just to pass the time. She’d barely rubbed up against him twice and bent forward so display her assets down the low neckline when Mariken interrupted her game and mentioned that since many of the troops had boarded without stopping for breakfast and they had five hundred pasties sitting in the warming trolleys that the least Tilda could do was go and pass out the refreshments. “I’ll just get changed.” “Hey I haven’t felt appreciative male eyes on my body for years get out there just as you are kid.”

Tilda paused for a moment then putting her shoulders back stepped into the stewardess’s area and unclipped the first trolley. As she pushed it gently down the aisle towards the marines she flushed as she sensed she had their undivided attention. She started to hand out the pasties and canned drinks to the troops and had got half way down the first isle when the ship gave a sudden lurch to the side and she ended up in a marine’s lap. “Let me help you up.” His hand grasped her thigh and slid up between her legs to her thinly covered crotch. She backed away “That’s quite all right thank you.” Her bottom was caressed from the other side of the isle so she lurched back to a more upright position. “Sorry about that a spot of turbulence.” Mariken spoke to her through her baseball cap. “You only get air turbulence in an atmosphere we’re in deep space so it’s a vacuum so no turbulence. If you don’t behave, I’ll leave the cap off so you won’t be able to read my body.” “I’ll be good but it was hard to resist, god it's hot out there so many of them leering over your body.” Tilda had just about finished the final isle when she saw him. She was feeling hot after all the attention she’d had up until now. “Could I have a bit of turbulence please to knock me on to C5's lap?” she thought. Mariken obliged and Tilda was dropped heavily onto his lap. “Oh I’m so sorry that must have hurt here let me kiss you better.” The jeers started after the kiss had lasted the first minute, after three minutes Tilda forced herself away before she raped the guy. “So did you enjoy that?” she beamed at Mariken.

She barely made it back on to the flight deck. “Martin I have a desperate need of your services.” She tossed her sodden knickers on the bed side table and wriggled out of her dress. “I’m busy flying.” “Haven’t you got an autopilot or something?” “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” “I meant a normal one.” “We haven’t used it for a year or two but it should still work.” Tilda grabbed him and carried him off to the bed where she soon dragged his jeans off and leapt on him. Three quick mouthfuls and he was hard. Moments later she’d guided him in between her legs. She came practically as soon as he entered then held on to him as he took his pleasure more slowly. “I knew you’d be an asset to the ship.” Beamed Mariken.

“We are approaching our destination so please return to your seats and make sure your seat belts are buckled up securely.” Mariken took the opportunity to practise her announcements ready for Sofie’s wedding guests on her passengers. Dutifully the marines stopped playing their endless games of poker and returned to their seats. At the front the senior officer decided it was time for him to return to the flight deck where he slid into the copilot's seats. “We can’t be there already. Your navigation system must be wrong.” The autopilot blared a warning “Ship detected.” No sooner had the senior officer slid in when the alarms went off and the pilot and copilot's screens lit up with a warning that tractor beams were being aimed at the ship. “Damn! Where’s the damn navy when you need them! I’ve plenty of weaponry that would tackle them but it's stuck in the hold. Still, the federation will pay for any damage to your ship.” “Would you like some assistance?” Mariken asked meekly. “An unarmed freighter against a battle cruiser don’t make me laugh. Still make your attempt and hopefully the Navy will catch up with us in time.” The ship seemed to spin on its axis, in the upper passenger cabin two marines who hadn’t fastened their seat belts securely found themselves hurled across the cabin. Nearly half the marines blacked out from the G force of the turn then the ship gave a noticeable jump forward. On the flight deck the message about the tractor beams disappeared and the ship followed a lazy arc back across the sky.

Tilda prised herself up from the bunk where she had been pinned by the force of the acceleration “Wow Girl which road junction did you learn that manoeuver at?” “It was rather good wasn’t it.” “It was an amazing hiccup at the end.” “Oh we were lucky. Someone had thrown a full can of coke in the garbage.” “Wow a true energy drink.” “More a bit of concentrated mass really.” Tilda started to sing out loud “Things go better with..” But Martin slipped his arm round her waist and pulled her down for a kiss. She raised herself and acting under instructions from Mariken went and spoke quietly to the elite officer. “Want to lead a team go out and capture that battleship?” “A suicide mission if we do and we die if we don’t?” “Well we have punched a hole a metre in diameter from one end to the other through her.” He looked at her, “Your Navel ships are equipped with energy weapons that are rated in milliwatts, we use the same principle for propulsion except our engine is rated in hundreds of kilowatts. Normally we use it so it spreads out the beam but we can focus it and that’s what we did. So be nice and go and capture it, we’d prefer not to take any of the credit.” He stood up and turned “I want volunteers to suit up and tackle that battleship outside. This row, the next row and the third row.” “Told you these seats up front were too good to be true.” “Half a dozen bloody assault rifles against a battle cruiser.” “I’m authorizing you to use grenades as well.” “I’m sure one look at you and they’ll all run away.” Added Tilda lightly. The troops good humouredly got up and Tilda led them back towards their containers in the second hold that contained their space suits. Mean while Mariken had already dispatched a couple of robots to cut a hole for entry in the side of the ship.

Needless to say the perfect wedding ran perfectly. They brought the space ship down over the sea then hovered to land on the pebbles next to the harbour and the harbour master, who was one of the volunteers for the heritage railway, carefully stamped all the visitors' passports with the official Little-Hampton-next-the-Sea stamp and entered one hovercraft down in his harbour log. The bride’s father who had been complaining quietly about the cost but secretly was proud of his daughter was overjoyed to find himself at the controls of the steam engine that pulled the dozen assorted carriages slowly along the heritage line pulling the whistle cord from time to time just as the fancy took him. The male wedding guests clustered round the steam engine admiring it so much that the stoker’s niece who had been bribed to provide instruction to the bride’s father found she was instructing various wedding guests on how to drive the little steam locomotive the length of the platform and back again. The ladies gently strolled through the village and marvelled at all the flowers in the gardens. The four bridesmaids and Sofie walked across to the manor house where the housekeeper greeted them “Lord Meecham thought you might like a bath after all your travel so I’ve placed the copper bath tub in front of the fire in the first guest room on the right at the top of the stairs. There’s jugs of hot water by the side.” “Lord?” whispered one bridesmaid to Sofie in an awed voice. Sofie just shrugged “Oh didn’t I mention his title before?” she whispered with a nonchalance she wasn’t really feeling in return.

Sofie stepped out of the bath into the warmed white fluffy towels. One of the bridesmaids looked towards the big four-poster curtained bed that dominated the room. “Why not try stretching out in a four-poster bed I bet you’ve never tried one before.” Gingerly Sofie steeped up the steps by the side of the bed then stretched out fully with her arms above her head. Quickly two bridesmaids tied her wrists with silk stockings to the top bed posts, “What are you doing?” A third pointed her camera at the struggling Sofie “Just making a wedding movie for you and your husband to look back on. Smile you can do a better smile than that. Georgina eat her out.” “No guys no really guys, Guys! Guys stop this right now!” Georgina looked up, “She’s getting moist if you guys could just take a boob each. We just want you to have that just fucked look at your wedding.” Linn set the camera on the folding tripod to get a steadier picture as Sofie was brought just to the edge of an orgasm again and again by Georgina’s skilful tongue. Eventually they let her up and dressed her in her wedding underwear and gown. She was so flustered that they even managed to buckle her into a remotely controlled butterfly vibrator without her noticing until it was too late. They hustled her downstairs and there at the door was a gleaming horse drawn open landau with a matching pair of perfectly groomed and ribboned grey horses. Frank was in his top hat and driving coat sat up on the box looking down at a very blushing bride. “In you get and then we’ll be off.” He passed back a leather purse full of coins. “You’ll need these to pay the children to let you out of the gate when you leave the church. It’s an old custom, the children tie the lychgate gates together and hold the bride and groom to ransom.”

At the church everyone remarked on the bride blushing furiously and clinging to the groom when he bent his head down to kiss her. Only Georgina who held the remote control hidden in the folds of her skirt really knew why. The sun shone brightly and the wedding breakfast was a success. The traditional food whilst exotic seemed to suit everyone’s taste and there was enough variety that even the vegetarians where able to find something to their taste. One of the guests noticed Frank’s fishing tackle against the wall in the hall and questioned him about it. He was intrigued by the idea of fishing in the open air. Could Frank accommodate his fishing club? Usually they were reduced to fishing in the stocked artificial river. Frank mentioned that the salmon would be running in a month's time would they be interested in trying a spot of salmon fishing? Tilda was summoned and a mutually beneficial sum arranged for the fifty members of Fishing club to stay for two weeks in the Manor Hall was arranged. The groom after examining some of the weaponry that was hanging on the wall made his way to Sofie. “This whole place is real.” “Great isn’t it.” “No you don’t understand it's not a replica or computer generated or anything like that they can’t do the patina that comes over time.” Sofie kissed Jens lightly on the lips and led him upstairs to the four-poster bed to distract him.

Later that night the stars had come out and Jens looked up to find the stars in much the same place as an old earth book on astrology had shown them to be. It must have been a trick of the light he thought as the steam train slowly puffed its way back to the space ship, no way could they have travelled to earth everyone knew it was at least two years travel away.

Frank travelled with them to the end of the line and as he stood on the platform thinking how the village had earnt more in the day than they normally did in the year Tilda asked him quietly “How many weddings can you cope with per month?”