Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
Sunday morning brings with it the sight of Susan snuggled up next to me and the dread of the potential of the day's results.
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Frank, there is nothing to talk about. We have had this argument too many times. I know what you mean, when you say that. You know what I mean when I answer you. We played that out in the counseling sessions too many times for it to be any different now. I have to end this.
Sarah, sure, we have our problems but, I thought we were past this. I mean, before you ran off to see what was wrong with your dad, we were OK. At least I thought we were OK. What has happened?
Frank, before, I was biting my tongue but, I was not happy. I think what has happened is that I have had a chance to think about all this for a while and realize that I am far less happy than my Dad is and he was the one I was worried about. That got me thinking. Why am I doing this?
Babe, we have built a great nest egg. We have put away so much that college for the kids is not going to be a problem and we will be OK ourselves. We have built a future, Sarah. Why do you want to throw that away?
Uh-huh, I hear you. I hear the spreadsheet cells rippling in your head. Yes, you have done very well for us, Hun. Yes, we would never have to worry about paying the bills. But, Frank, you don't really love me anymore. This marriage is a well-financed public face with nothing behind it. I can't do it anymore.
But look at what you do to us if you leave! It will...
Wait! Frank! I get it. I know I am messing up your well scripted financial model. You don't have to tell me what I am very well aware of. I have heard too many times that I have tinkered with your well-tailored plan and now you have to fix it again! I know what I am doing. You, my dear, are going to have to rebuild your financial model without me. Here are the papers. Please sign them.
Sarah, please?
What? What do you think is going to change? It is over, Frank. Sign the papers.
What about the kids? Think about what you are doing to them!
I have. More than you will ever understand, it was their unhappiness that forced me to look at mine. They understand the consequences as best they can and it is what they want.
That can't be. No one in their right mind would walk away from this! I don't believe it.
Well, Frank, they're your kids. No one is stopping you from asking them. I am not standing in your way. Do it. Ask them. See if you can convince them to stay with you and follow your plan. I am not going to change their minds one way or the other. If you think you can get them to change, then do it. And when they tell you, what I already know they will tell you, please sign the papers.
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It is the Lady Maroons against the Blue Spikers in the first match. It is a tight match at 2-2. The score is 17 - 14. The Lady Maroons are in the lead. The next match will be the Lady Archers from De La Salle against the FEU Tamaraws. There are more teams to play later. I am not sure how many Susan wants to watch. But I am here for as many as she is up for. I have good cell reception here in the coliseum and I have my fingers crossed.
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Dad, we love you. We are your girls! Why do you say, we don't love you?
Then why are you throwing away the things I have done to give you a future? Aubrey, I don't understand.
Dad, why do you say that we can't love you and not love what you want for us? Don't you see the difference?
What are you talking about? Is this some of your female psycho-babble you get from school these days?
You are our father. You are a good dad. Melissa and I love you very much. But Dad, we just don't want to be what you want us to be. I know we are disappointing you. I am sorry we are hurting you. Truly, this is not easy for me and Melissa. But we want something else. We are going with Mom.
What has she promised you? What has she told you that you will get by leaving?
Dad? You think she bribed us? How can you? Dad! This is our idea. Not Mom's! I don't believe you! How can you be like this?
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Ron, I dreamed of going to UP.1 I dreamed of wearing those purple uniforms. I love those cute collars! I see them on ABS-CBN but I never think I be here! This is so great! How long can we stay? We stay for a while, OK?
I smile. Last night I was with a charming young woman. Today she has become a little girl reliving her dreams. There are serious things tugging on my mind but, at the moment I only feel love and joy.
As long has you want.
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Well, what did they say?
How did you brainwash them?
What are you accusing me of?
No one in their right mind would reject what I have done for them. What have you told them?
Frank, you are a fucking, stupid bastard if you think your daughters can be brainwashed. All you just did is make it clear to me why we need to end this. You think you can buy love and commitment with your money.
Yes, I can, everyone does. Including your dad with his young Susan. Why do you think she is with him?
Good one, Frank. Very smart. But he loves her and didn't buy her. He doesn't have a plan for her. He allows her to have her own plan and he supports that. That, Frank, is something you will never understand. Sign the fucking papers, Frank.
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My cell phone chimes. It is noisy in the coliseum but, this is a text from Judith.
How can we let this happen?
Patience and faith. Patience and faith. Pray hard Judith. Pray for intervention.
I do this. Why you not doing anything?
I have done all I can. Pray.
What you do?
Pray and keep your mouth shut!
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Who?
Judith.
Ron, why you not do anything to help?
I have done all I can.
What? You do nothing.
I am very glad that it seems that way. Maybe that will keep us all alive.
She gives me a look of surprise and then I get the eyebrows.
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Are you sure about the locations in this report Sergeant?
Sir, I grew up here. I know the area, very well. Yes, Sir, I am sure. These locations are where the exchanges take place.
OK. I want radio checks on the air force frequencies for each location every fifteen minutes. I have no idea how many channels they listen to. Let's hope they don't listen to these.
Yes, Sir, we will communicate with each posted team with a separate frequency, and each will answer us on another. Even if they pick up one, they will not hear the rest. And how they unscramble it anyway? We using private key encryption. They don't have the keys.
Sergeant, if they pick up even one encrypted channel, they may disappear. Pray to our Savior that they do not.
Yes, Sir.
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The last time I attended a volleyball game was when Sarah was fifteen years old. She never made it to the varsity squad. She just wasn't that good at it. She did try her heart out but, it just wasn't working.
Good things can come from defeats and the next year Sarah joined the cheerleader squad. She was proud to wear her cheer uniform in school for two reasons that come to mind. Just the pride that comes with the role and recognition. For a teenage girl it is a huge ego boost when they need it the most. The second is that the school dress code did not allow for short, short skirts as the cheerleaders wore. So she was strutting around in what otherwise was banned apparel.
That was twenty years ago and here I sit with Susan who had those same dreams of a volley ball uniform, never became a cheerleader and is so close to it that she can taste both the loss and the dreams.
I hold her hand. I pray for her happiness and for the little girls, whose fate has yet to be determined. Has anyone even lifted a finger to help them? Maybe I should be praying harder.
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OK. I got off the phone with Charlie. I gather you didn't consult with him. He is as surprised as I am. But he says the girls are old enough that what I want regarding custody will not matter unless I can prove you are an unfit mother. In short, he says I am fucked. If I fight you, I just drive up legal fees but I can't win. So here. I signed it. Pray you don't regret it. You have hurt yourself just as much as you have hurt me. What a fucking way to end a Saturday night!
Good. Better that it is clean.
Charlie said that it seemed to be the object of the papers. No demands except the split mandated by the law. No other demands. There was not a damned thing to argue about. I get the house. I can either sell it and split the proceeds or get an appraisal and give you half. You get half our savings. The girls get their college funds. You didn't even ask for half my company retirement account, which Charlie thought is a little weird.
Maybe, but, my attorney said that splitting up our personal retirement savings with 70% to me and 30% to you and leaving the company account alone, would be easier for the court to order.
And Charlie agrees with her. He said it was a very smart move that he will remember for his bags of options in the future. What are we going to do now? Sleep in the same house until you leave?
The girls and I will stay at my Mom's tonight. I will drop this off with my attorney Monday. If you would please go somewhere tomorrow, we will pack our things tomorrow, and while you are at work on Monday and if we need it on Tuesday. I will give you our forwarding address once we are gone completely from the house.
Tell me... what does Gloria think of all this?
My mom thinks I'm nuts. But you know, I was always my father's girl. Maybe she is more like you, and my dad is more like me.
You're saying I was in the right orchard but picked from the wrong tree? You know the Apple doesn't fall far...
Oh Frank that is such a fucked up analogy. Maybe if I had a sister but, do you really wish you had married my brother? God you are pathetic some times.
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Sir, all locations are reporting in. We see the expected activity. Four individuals are identified based on what we expected someone to be doing.
Who are they?
There is an Immigration agent attached to the Iloilo office, two PNP officers, one person who has been identified as with the DSWD. .... Sir, we think we have sight of the boat they will use. But if we are right, Sir, the others are Coast Guard personnel.
No one from the Army?
No, Sir. But Sir, you don't want to contact our Battalion command here. There are family members related to the Coast Guard and the PNP.
Sergeant, I am aware but, we may not have enough men and not have an option. I went to the academy with the commander here. We served together in prior assignments, and we are friends but, I have not notified him for that very reason. Pray to Jesus I don't need to make that call.
Yes, Sir.
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My cell phone chimes. The texts reads...
Girls are gone! What we do?
Call the police and report that you think you have two possible 'runaways.' Say no more to them! Then pray. Judith pray.
Susan has read the texts and grabs my arm. I don't know that there is anything to say.
Ron, do we need to leave?
There is nothing we can do now. It is either going to be OK, or it isn't. There is nothing more to do.
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Sir, the first exchange has been made.
Does Isa team still have sight on the lady?
Yes, Sir.
She clear of the others?
Yes, Sir. They drive off.
OK pick her up. Detain her and release the rest of Isa team to reinforce team 'Tatlow.'
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The second match is almost over and FEU is going to win it. We should be having a good time but, the fun has gone out of the day. I watch my cell phone hoping against hope for a text telling me the girls are safe. But there is no text. The crowd around us is cheering. We can't.
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Melissa, it is not too late to change your mind and stay with Dad.
Mom! Not you too! No!
OK, OK, baby, I just don't want you to feel like I am forcing you.
We are the ones forcing you! Why do you even say that? You sound like Dad. No, we need to do this. Right Aub?
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Sir, the 'Isa' team has joined team Tatlow. They are ready.
Good, what is the status on team Delawa?
Wala pa. Exchange not occurred. They waiting.... Wait Sir, I am getting something. Yes! The exchange occurs. ... They waiting before round up. ... Sir, shots fired. Two PNP down. ... Patay, Sir.
Who?
The PNP men, Sir. We OK. No one to round up now, they dead.
Send Delawa to Tatlow.
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Mom, maybe we should start sleeping together. I mean, we will do a lot more than that at Poppop's.
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Yes, Sir. ... Sir, Tatlow reporting AFP personnel arriving with other girls at the meet point.
Damn. Do we have all three teams assembled there?
Wala pa, Sir. Delawa has not arrived. The little girls not there yet.
How many AFP?
Two, Sir.
Rank?
Uncertain, Sir.
As soon as the little ones arrive, start the action. Delawa will join in later.
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Judith is texting again. She is horribly upset. There is nothing I can tell her.
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Sir, four of the abductors are dead. The rest are taken into custody. We are about to return the little girls to the orphanage. The older women are being transported here for debriefing. We have one dead and two wounded on Tatlow team.
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Judith is texting.
The girls are back! They say a gun battle. Many dead.
Susan is reading and jumping up and down in her seat. She is crying.
I text back,
Are the girls OK?
Yes, yes. They are fine. How you do this?
Do what?
You did this right?
I did nothing. Did you pray?
Yes! Of course yes!
So thank God.
Why you not tell me?
Nothing to tell. I didn't do this. I do not know who did.
I do not believe you.
I did not send anyone to save the girls. No one.
Truly?
I swear to God. I did not send the men who save the girls. I am glad you prayed.
The cell phone goes back in my pocket and Susan punches me in the arm. You lied to her!
No I didn't. I told her the truth.
I don't understand. You did something. I know it.
Yes, but, I did not send those men.
Someone else did. But you know who sent them, right?
No I do not. I did something but, I do not know anything about what happened or how it happened.
I am confused.
Did you pray Susan?
Yes. Just like Judith I prayed.
OK, so your prayers may have been the difference. We will never know.
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My cell phone chimes. Susan grabs it out of my pocket. It is not a number I recognize. The text says,
Girls safe. Mission ended. All dead or captured. Debriefing of those will follow. Dead include Mahinay. How you know?
Susan looks at me. Who is this?
I do not know.
I text back,
I hear from a school girl who is the daughter of my girlfriend. She hear it from someone else. It is hard to keep a secret. Someone always talks. Di ba?
This is true. You will make me a hero here. So you do not get your revenge on me.
Susan hits me hard in the arm. You do know! Who is it?
Yes I know now. It is the Immigration officer in Manila who was giving me trouble.
I text back,
I didn't want revenge. I wanted cover so that no one would think I was the one who tipped you off.
So, my enemy is my friend?
Yes. The world is not always simple.
This is a true thing. May we stay in touch, Sir Ronald?
Yes, I think that would be a good thing.
Now I am getting a look that I cannot read from my companion. I think many under estimate you. Mahinay was a problem for you. You needed him gone and the trafficking made him very dangerous for you. He now dead. Tamal now always with us! You know this before we leave that you will do this! OMG! You know then! Now the one man who was angry with you is your friend. You fool everyone.
I am a spy in the house of love.2
1 - University of the Philippines
2 - A novel by Anaïs Nin.