Part 1: A Deal in Full

How to all started

Just last year I was wearing low cut Disney Princess sneakers, you know the ones that sort of looked like slippers with the single thin Velcro strap across the top on an angle? They were pink of course. I thought they were sooo cute. I had Mom paint my new room in pink too! It was the very first time I had my own room and I was eleven ... but this is wrong! I am starting in the middle, well not exactly the middle, but not at the beginning. Dad, he's not really my dad, but he is too, he's my stepdad, but who wants to say that! Yuch. Well, SNAP, to get back on the subject, Dad would tell me to calm down and start at the beginning. So I'll try, but I have never written anything before, and I have so much to tell, and it gets so confusing, and well anyway...

When I was nine, I was living in Mindanao, that's in the Philippines, with Nanay, Tatay, Tita Bim-Bim (we normally write that as Bim2x), my cousins Peter-boy, Ays and Girlie, Tito Ricardo, and Tito Boy-Boy (Boy2x).

Can you remember that? Every time I write a Bim2x you are to think, Bim-Bim? Much later, you will meet a Nic2x and you must think, Nic-Nic!) I guess I need to explain Tita/Tito too! Jeez, OK, Tita means aunt. Tito means uncle.

Nanay normally means mother, but Nanay is not my mother, she is Mom's mother. Tatay normally means father but he is my mom's father and my grandfather. I should be calling them Lola (grandmother) and Lolo (grandfather), but I don't. No, I don't know why. No one in the family does. I know, we have a crazy family!

And I guess I need to tell you a bit about pronunciation. An 'ay' at the end of a word or name is pronounced with a 'hard' "I" sound. Also, the second syllable normally gets the accent. So you are to pronounce 'Nanay' as nah-NI, and Tatay as tah-TI. Got it? It will help you understand my nickname too! You'll see later! Hehehe.

Bim2x, Ricardo and Boy2x are sister and brothers. Nanay and Tatay have a nice two-bedroom house in our village. I normally sleep with Bim2x, Girlie, Ays, and Nanay. Mom is in Cebu. She has a job and sends us money every month. She stays in a bed-spacer¹ to save money so that she can send more to us!

My real father lives in another province. Mom left him after Nanay saw him hit mom. So I haven't seen him since I was five. Mom hasn't lived here in Mindanao since I was five, but for a while, I lived with her in Cebu when she had a boyfriend who would allow me to stay too. Yeh, Mom had a nice BF for a while, but he died of a heart attack. His name was Billy. That was real sad, 'cause Billy was a good guy. Mom cried when he died. She goes to Billy's funeral and meets his wife, Sha. I guess Sha and mom are friends now. When Billy died, Mom and me, we don't know what to do, but mom is introduced to a guy from the UK, named Howard. Howard doesn't like me, so Mom sends me here and she stays with Howard for about a year, but Howard is abnormal. Mom says he refused to let her eat rice! He refused to allow her friends to come over to their apartment and he refused to allow her to speak Tagalog on the phone. Like I said, he is just abnormal! Anyways, he is always jealous and one day they have a big fight and he throws Mom's stuff into the street. Mom comes here for a week and then finds a job in Cebu.

And that's how it all is when Mom tells me she has a new BF. He's from the USA and he wants to marry her! Like wow! I'm not sure it will happen, you know, mom and I have had a confusing time of it, but Mom says this guy is real nice. His name is Jake and mom says that he will only marry her if she agrees that I am with her! Like wow! Like that is sooo different from Howard! Mom says that Jake has been to Cebu to see her already, and has gone back to the USA, but that we can do a video chat with him using Yahoo Messenger. And guess what, he has rented a condo that mom has moved into! I can come and visit mom and then move in with her after my school is out in March². And you know what? She says that Jake insisted that she get me as soon as possible. We are giggling ... like you know, that's exactly what we want anyway. Hehehe. I am a little jealous ... I want to be his GF too!

Mom sets up a three-way video where we can all see each other but type to talk using Yahoo. Jake is pogi! Mom tells me that but when I see him, boy she is right, he is pogi. Jake says, Hey kid, how is my #2 girl? I tell him I'm not #2, I'm the #1 girl and mom is #2. He is laughing. Hey I mean it! Mom is laughing. Jeez. I stick my tongue out at him. He just laughs some more. – Oh, mom says you won't know pogi ... it means handsome.

So anyway ... it happens. Jake helps mom get her annulment³ from my real father. Jake comes back to the Philippines again and I get to meet him in person. I even stay with him and mom in a hotel one night. We all sleep in the same bed and I get him to give me a real kiss when mom is in the shower that night! That is so nice. But when mom comes to bed, she is in the middle. Then he goes home again and mom says he is filing to get us visas to go to the USA! Like wow. I tell everyone in school that I am going to the USA!!! My teacher has me do a report on what the USA is like. I get to stay with mom in Cebu when school is out and now I video chat with Jake every day. He calls me his GF and I call him BF when we do that. He tells me that he wants us both to come to the USA and we are a package deal! That is so cool that he will not ask mom to leave me. We have a lot of fun on the video chats and I still call him BF, but even though mom knows I call him BF on the webcam, I call him Uncle Jake when I am talking to mom and to all who ask me about him.

And then he comes back to Cebu. We all fly to Manila and stay in a really nice hotel! I have never been anywhere so nice before. Mom and me get medical exams and an interview at the USA embassy in Manila. The next week, we have visas and we are all packed up and going to the USA. Soooo cool. Yea! But OMG the trip takes like forever! It is so far from home and then we are there, where Jake tells us is our home.

It is so different from the Philippines. Just to start ... oh where to start? We had eight people in our four-room house at Nanay and Tatay's and that was without mom. Now we have a twelve-room house for the three of us. I have my own room, with my own bed! No one else sleeps in my bed. I have a dresser and all the drawers are for my clothes and a closet also just for my clothes. The walls are white but Uncle Jake says I can have them any color I want. I want pink walls. I take some 4"x4" sticky notes, each a different color, and on each page I write one letter of my name, D-u-l-c-i-n-e-a, and attach it to my bedroom door. It's my door! It's my bed. Uncle Jake says it is a new bed and that no one has ever slept on it. Then he says, Nothing but the best for my GF. How great is that?

I think mom really loves Uncle Jake. She is real happy except for when she gets really sad. That has always happened a few days at a time for as long as I can remember. She just gets that way. When we were with Billy, he would just laugh at her and ignore it. Howard and mom would have big fights over it. Jake, in the beginning worried about it and then after a while he decides it is just mom and ignores it. I know Jake loves mom. He talks to me about her and it is clear she is super important to him. But when he does that, sometimes I pout because I think that he doesn't love me as much ... he tells me I am being silly. He says he loves both of us and that I am in the USA because he wants me as much to be part of his life as he wants my mom. That is so cool.

The first week at my new school in the USA a teacher asks me if Jake is my uncle or my dad. I decide to tell her he is my dad. When I get home that day, I ask Jake if I can call him dad. He starts smiling a stupid big smile and says that 'dad' is fine with him. So now he is Dad and he calls me daughter. I decide I like that. I call him dad a lot just to hear him call me daughter. That is sooo cool. That is when dad took me shopping and I bought the Disney Princess sneakers. I was eleven, it was October and I was in sixth grade.

Sixth Grade is a blast. I get on the honor roll all four quarters and the Principal's honor roll the last three with a 4.0 GPA. Mom and dad are proud of me and I make lots of friends. I am in band and learn to swim. Dad is great. He takes mom and me shopping and I get great stuff from Aeropostale and the Deb and Claire's. Dad even pays for stuff from Victoria's Secret although I never let him see it. Mom even lets me get two thongs and some thigh-high stockings. Mom says dad has a rule ... no pantyhose are allowed in the house. Weird, right? Oh well, it is OK. And dad also makes sure mom buys me only sexy dresses. Mom and I have fun finding sexy ones that still meets school standards for 'appropriate dress.' Dad also encourages me to wear high heels and mom thinks that it is cool, so whenever mom gets a pair of heels I do too. I look so cute in my tight little dresses and heels!

Summer is boring. I hang out in the family room down stairs and no one bothers me, which is fine because I am feeling weird most of the time. My boobs are beginning to stick out enough that I have to do something about them, but not enough that I really need a bra. Mom gets me some padded bras and that is weird. It feels really nice but it makes me look a lot bigger than I really am and that makes me feel bad again! Plus I'm fat ... no not really, I mean I don't have a belly or anything, but I look well stuffed into my skin. Oh God, I don't think I can really explain it.

I feel like sometimes I want dad to pay attention to me and sometimes when he does ... oh gross. I mean he hasn't done anything wrong. He just tells me how pretty I am and how much he loves me and I think, God save me! Still there are times when I just want to be hugged by him. But I can't do it ... I get close to him and start to hug but when he hugs back, I like freak out and pull away.

He says that the boys are going to start paying a lot of attention to me but I know he's wrong.

He loves me, just like he loves my mom. He tells mom she is pretty all the time and my mom laughs and says, No I am pangit. Pangit means ugly.

I mean we have pango (flat) noses. We are brown in color, not nice white like dad. And he has a tall nose.

We are short! I am soooo short. Mom is taller than me, but even she has a hard time finding clothes that will fit her in the USA. We use whitening lotion and we will never get as white as dad!

So he tells me I am pretty but I know he is wrong. I am pangit with a pango nose.

Before school starts again, I need a sports' physical. Mom doesn't want to fill out the form, so she asks dad to do it. The form asks if I have started my period, and if so, how long ago ... Dad asks mom, mom says ask Cin, oh yeh, Cin is the nickname for Dulcinea, so he asks me, I tell him they started last spring. Hehehe. His head spins around to look at me. I just smile.

I am so glad when school starts again. I start volleyball and am making new friends. The only thing is, I get bored riding the bus. I sort of on purpose miss the bus pretty often and get dad to drive me to and from school. He likes to grumble about it, but he takes me and we are OK in the car. We talk about all sorts of things. I ask him why he is so nice to me. He says, Cin, because I wanted you. I would not have married your mother and brought her here without you. You two are a package deal. You are both my girls and I love you both. All I say is, Really? Dad says, Really. And then we are at school and I get out. I don't know what to make of that. I mean it's not the first time he had said that. But maybe I'm thinking about it different now ... I am not sure what he means.

He says it, not just to me when we are alone, he says it when mom is there too. I mean like when we are driving in the car to somewhere and mom is in the front seat with him and I am in the back seat and dad will say, You are both my girls and I love you both the same. Mom is OK with this. She smiles the whole time. It's not that he doesn't act like a parent, he does. He sets the rules and he and my mom enforce the rules. I can ask that the rules be changed and if my argument is good enough he will agree, so it's not like he is a tyrant. Actually, he is pretty easy to get along with. And he buys me things. I pretty much get what I want for Christmas and my birthday. And he makes sure I get real pretty clothing. He never touches me in a way I need to say no to ... And he never enters my bedroom. He knocks and then waits for me to open. He never barges into the bathroom. I have all the privacy a girl could want at home ... but still it's like well different. I don't know.

Sometime after New Year's, I am just months away from my thirteenth birthday and dad is driving me to school again. God, it is so easy to get him to do this. Anyway, he starts talking about some of my bad moods I have been having. I don't want to talk to him about them because some of them are about him and the others are stuff I just don't want to talk about. So I tell him nothing is wrong. And he says, Look, I know a little about girls your age. And one of the things they are worrying about is that they don't like their bodies. Either their breasts are too small or too large, or their waist is not small enough or their hair is wrong, or they think they're too short or too tall, or they don't like their nose, or the color of their skin ... or, or, or ... Cin, I want you to hear this. You are pretty and there is not a single thing wrong with your body. You are doing a lot of changing and you will continue to for at least a couple of more years. But Cin, you look great and you should be proud of yourself. You look great and you are great.

You know, I know he says that because he loves me, but it sure feels good.

As I get even closer to my thirteenth birthday, mom is out of the house when I get home on occasion. One day it's like that and Dad is there because his office is in the house. Like everything is normal with him ... but I'm feeling weird. I want to run and at the same time, I want him to hold me. He doesn't touch me until I touch him. Then he holds me real nice like. He's not touching anything he shouldn't, still it is in a different way. I jump on him and by accident, I think it is an accident, my legs go around him and my crotch is smashed up on his leg, with a lot of my weight on my crotch. God, it's like I'm humping my dad! As soon as I realize what I am doing, which seems to take forever, I drop my legs to the floor.

I still am grabbing on to him on and off. He touches me sort of the way he touches and strokes mom, in a loving way, but when I want it to stop I just back away and he just stops. We are talking and I tell him I am just a kid and he says only until I turn thirteen. I say that's not fair, I want to be a kid longer. He smiles and says that I really want both, a kid and not a kid anymore, depending on the subject ... he's right. I am being playful, but he is right. Then he says, Anyway, I can let my second wife play a little longer.

I look at him and say, I'm your daughter, not your wife.

And he says ... Oh damn, he really says, Cin you are both. You are my daughter and you are my second wife ... it was a package deal.

He doesn't ask me to do anything he doesn't normally ask me, and that weirds me out too.

I go to him, and hold on, and tease him. He smiles, accepts the teasing and plays along but doesn't hold me tighter than I want him to hold me ... but I want him to hold me. I scare myself and I back off. I play a game at the computer in the living room. He is watching a movie ... Mom is still not home and I am lonely.

I go and lay on the couch with my head on dad's lap. He strokes my head and neck with one hand, laying his other arm over my side, his wrist laying across the side of my left breast. But his hand is not touching anything. It feels good. It feels too good. I move a little. But when I move, I roll right into his free hand. Oh! It feels nice! I move quick to stop it. He doesn't do anything. I reposition and his hand is no longer touching but his wrist is. Oh snap! It's too good. I have to go.

And I am back playing a game on my computer when mom walks in twenty minutes later. Everything is normal.

Next day I call his cell phone, saying I missed the bus, and he picks me up. We are back to normal, nothing has happened. He is kidding around, and kidding me as we head home. I don't understand it. He is like a normal dad and then I know he is not.

It's not like he and mom are having problems. I know they are not. They are so happy together, I just want to choke sometimes. To dad, mom can do no wrong. He will tell anyone who will listen how she is smarter than he is, how she is the world's greatest cook, (he might be right on that one,) how 'ganda' she is ... that means she is beautiful in Tagalog. She calls him pogi all the time. He calls her Mahal ... that means dear one or sweetheart. They hug and kiss and high five each other ... like what's the deal ... he has the best wife in the world and he wants me too?

I ask him that. And he smiles and says, I told your mom when I met her, I need two women in my life. If I don't have it, I can't stay in the marriage.

I ask him why and he doesn't know, it's just the way he is. He says he doesn't want to bring in someone from outside the family because it would hurt mom's feelings. I do know last year, they had a fight about another woman, and that both of them know her. I think they even lived with her before I moved back with mom. Anyway mom was pissed that dad was still in contact with the girl. I guess dad broke it off with the girl. I think that is what he is referring to when he says mom won't go for that ... but mom seems to be OK, if it is me and her.

I ask her if I am really dad's girl just like her and she just says yes.

I am so confused. He treats me like a daughter, but when I flirt with him, he never stops me. I stop me.

I have my dress for the Valentine's Day School Dance. It is NOT school appropriate, but mom and I come up with a cute little short-sleeve knit blazer which just, sort of covers the shoulders and hides the fact that this is a strapless dress and I am wearing one of moms stick-on bra's she got from Victoria's Secret. I have five-inch platform sandals I will wear with it. I will not wear hose. There is a little slip built into the inside of the dress and that is good because it needs it! The dress hugs my body. I sure wish I was thinner but both mom and dad are going crazy over it. They say I am a knockout. I am not sure I know what that means. Mom lays out a thong we bought before Christmas, which is as red as the dress. I will wear that, the black stick-on bra and the little knit blazer over my shoulders. That and a little clutch mom is lending me and that is it. I look in the mirror. I do not look like a kid. Mom has done my long black hair. Mom and me look like sisters. Dad says so and mom agrees.

Two weeks after Valentine's Day, mom takes off for two days with some of her girl friends. Dad is all for it and hopes mom will have a good time and tells her how much he trusts her. He really does and he has reason to ... mom will never cheat on him. She is loyal right to her bones. She leaves in the morning when I am in school. When I come home, I ask dad for news from mom and he has none. He hasn't called her and she hasn't called him. He just isn't worried. I get a little grabby with him and he calms me down ... I should just get my homework done like normal and then practice my flute. When that is done, he has supper on the table. It is leftovers but that is fine ... it's mom's pork adobo, pancit, achara, a salad of cucumbers, daikon, onions and tomatoes in vinegar. And of course, there is rice on the table. After dinner, dad and I clean up the kitchen and then he goes to watch the TV. I am playing a game on the computer, but I want a hug. I go over to dad and lay down next to him with my head on his legs. We are just like we were the last time and his arm is touching my breast again. It feels good. I leave it there. Dad has been stroking my head. When the commercial comes on, I roll over so that I am looking at him, lift up and kiss dad on the cheek. His hand is on the side of my head and he turns my head just a little and then kisses me full on the lips. I kiss him back. God I have wanted this and I have been so scared of this. He allows my kiss and then gently kisses back a light sweet kiss and stops. He holds me close to him but his hands are unmoving, they cradle me but are in safe places. He just holds me and gently rocks me. I am safe.

I stay like that for about ten minutes and then I lift myself up to his face and kiss him again. He smiles. I lay back down on his lap. When it is time for bed I do my normal things, and then go into the master bedroom and get into mom and dad's bed. I don't think dad has noticed. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know is dad's in bed with me, but he is just holding me close and snoring ... I check him out ... I know mom says he sleeps naked, but now he is wearing his briefs. I had hoped and feared for something tonight, but I am safely cradled in dad's arms. He is not making me his wife ... I am still his daughter.

For the next few months, I never lose an opportunity to flirt with dad, to kiss him on the lips, to accidently touch his crotch, to jump on him and grind my crotch into him. I am being playful but he is getting the message. When he is holding me, his hand will more often now also touch my breasts or my crotch. He pushes back when I grind against his leg. The kisses become longer and more intense. But I must initiate everything. He never starts any of our contacts. I go to bed horny every night. I rub myself raw. Why doesn't he just grab me, like I read in stories? Why isn't he like the boys at school who never miss a chance? I never let them, but they sure are trying, hehehe, that's a good pun!

My breasts are getting larger. They are still not mom's size, but now I really fill my little padded bras. I am still two inches shorter than mom, and I am convinced that I am not growing. That has me bummed out. All my friends are taller than I am, some look like little girls and some are really way ahead of me. It is so strange ... we didn't look like this at the beginning of the school year. I always flirt with my teachers, but in the past, none of the men teachers would blush, now they do! Wow! That makes me feel so good between my legs, I want to run to the girls room and play with myself.

It's only sixteen months since dad bought me those silly Disney Princess sneakers ... now I wouldn't be caught dead in them. Most days I go to school in fashion ankle high, or calf high, boots with three or four inch heels. My room is still so pink and I have asked mom twice if we can't paint it purple. God! I am so embarrassed when friends come over! I am so over pink! I want a computer in my room and a TV, but dad says I can use the computer in the living room by the fireplace –which we never use – the fireplace I mean. Anyway dad also says no to the TV in my room. We have one in the living room and one in the family room. He says that is enough. It doesn't matter how much I flirt or kiss ... when it comes to dad stuff, he's still dad. I guess I like that.

When mom takes off with her girlfriends for another trip ... this one being three days, I decide that this is the time. After school, I do my homework and practice my flute. Supper is food mom prepared in advance. It's a pork and chopped asparagus stir fry, plus the cucumber-daikon salad and rice. Mom made a pan of sticky-rice and we have some for dessert. Dad goes back to his home office to do some work and I play a few computer games. When dad sits down to watch TV, I follow him and lay down on the couch with my head on his shoulder. At the first commercial break, I move a bit and we start kissing. I like playing with dad's tongue. Dad is stroking my hair as we kiss. I start rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Dad is getting hard down there!

I grab the remote, turn off the TV and pull dad up. Laughing and tickling and pushing and shoving I get dad into his bedroom. I kick off my slippers and jump on his bed. I am kneeling on the mattress. I put my arms out to say hug me and he comes over to me. We have this incredible kiss ... it is so nice and long and OMG so full of desire ... It goes on and on. When we finally stop, I am looking at dad, but I don't really see dad. I do see a pogi guy and I know he loves me. He has loved me for years now. He has been waiting for me. I am important to him. I can see that too. He has never yelled at me. He has never yelled at mom. He always compliments us and never says mean things. This is a good guy and he is mine ... he has always been mine. I just never realized how much he was mine until now. I am very lucky. Every single thing I am wearing, he paid for. This house I live in, it is his and not a rental. I can live here for the rest of my life if I want. I am safe. He will buy me a car when I am old enough to drive. Everything I need, he will provide. All I need to do is love him and I do. I look at my guy and I say, Take off your boots and come to bed Jake. He smiles and does exactly what I said to do.

We are in each other's arms. I unbutton his jeans and shove my hand in. My hand is on his cock and I am gently stroking it. My lover is moaning. It's a good thing. I pause and get him to undress. He looks at me and asks me to undress for him. I am scared he will look at my body and well, that will be the end of it for us. But I do it because well, it's sort of the time to do it ... I get down to my bra and panties. I have on a pretty bra and panty set, that mom and I bought at Victoria's Secret. Jake, dad, smiles and says I look pretty, but I need to finish undressing. I take off my bra. It's the first time he has seen my breasts. And he's smiling. He likes them! I slide off my panties and toss them on the floor. Jake, dad, reaches out and brings me to him.

We are both naked and he is holding me. It feels so great. His cock is hard and pressing on my leg as we kiss again. This is going a lot slower than I thought it would. Jake, dad, is in no hurry. I sort of am in a hurry but I don't know how to hurry him. My hand finds his cock again and he allows me complete freedom. I am stroking him again. He is really hard. I feel a hand on my breast. Jake, dad, is playing with my breast. He is playing with my nipple. It feels so good. I mean, you know ... like, I do that too but it feels nice when he does it. I am kissing his neck, and stroking his cock and now he is sucking my nipple! Oh God that is sooo nice ... God I am sooo horny. I grab his hand and shove it onto my pussy. I need him to touch my pussy ... Oh please Jake, dad ... ooh, ooh. YES!!! Oooh that's right, yes. He is playing with my clit. God he's better than me when I do that! Hehehe ... What? What's he doing ... no not that no ... no ... OH! Oh shit ... oh aahhh ... OMG it feels so good! He has a finger in my ass! And I like it. Yes he has a finger in my ass and he is doing my clit ... oh God I have never felt anything like ... oooohhh ... ooooh. Oh MY GOD!!! SHIT I'M CUMMING!!! Oh Ooooh ... Ooooh God! SHIT!!! What? What? Oh! It is warm and sticky all over my belly. Hehehe. He came too! It's all over my belly and my breasts too! Hehehe ... I got him to cum! Oh and did he ever get me to cum. I have never felt like that! Is that what mom gets every night? I mean I know they do it just about every night ... I can hear them ... but I never knew why she made so much noise before. Now I do! Holy Shit ... I've got to have more of that!

A few minutes later Jake, dad, leaves the bed and quickly comes back with a warm, wet hand towel and wipes me clean and plays with my breasts at the same time. Oh that feels nice too. He puts the towel on the floor and snuggles next to me. I tell him I am cold and he pulls the covers over us. I am happy, in my dad, Jake's, arms and I am still a virgin. He did not take my virginity! I have to remember to ask him in the morning ... but now I want to rest.

Jake, dad, does not have big breakfasts, just an OJ, a banana and coffee. I sit with him and eat some sticky rice. I ask him, Why I am still a virgin this morning? He looks at me with a funny expression and asks, Is there some reason to lose your virginity so soon Cin?

There isn't, but I just figured when we had sex, that he would take it.

He smiles, takes a sip of his coffee, takes my hand, and kisses my fingers and says, Cin, we have years ahead of us. Years of love to explore. Years of life to experience. You were my girl long before last night and you will be my girl on the day I die. We have time. Let's enjoy the love and not worry about getting somewhere too fast. You are still thirteen and unless you have a desperate need to get on to birth control, we can hold off a little longer ... OK?

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Chapter 2