You just can't put toothpaste back in the tube

Earlier, when Lailani left me sleeping, she picked up the girls from the parlor and took them shopping, all by tricycle. That is why they were all well attired when I awoke. I find that Lailani also bought me a few articles of clothing. So there is no further need for shopping.

So far there has been little need for dressing. The two young girls tried sitting on the bed Miafe and I have just wrecked. Lailani moves them, Miafe and me to another bed. This bed is designed for one person. But there are four of us on it. I am the only one still naked. Miafe has slipped on a bra and panties. The others remain dressed, but all are touching me, and teasing me. Lailani sits on another bed, just watching. I have no idea what she is thinking.

Something is said between Grace and Lailani. An answer is returned, which I find equally unintelligible. The conversation continues with Miafe chiming in and the little ones paying rapt attention. They are all looking at me and then away. I want to know what is being said! This is making me very uncomfortable.

Finally, Lailani asks me, Ray, they are asking me about how many children you have. I know there are none with you and Anabel. The rest of us, maybe have not been with you long enough. Do you want children? You never use a condom with me. Can you have children?

I never use a condom and don't have kids with Anabel because she is on the pill. For some reason that I don't really comprehend, Anabel decided it is best if she does not have kids. She says that she needs to use the pill to keep the menstrual cycle as pain free as possible. Without it she is miserable. Of that, I am full in agreement. I never challenged her on the matter. And anyway, I have grown kids from a previous marriage.

Call me thick. Call me stupid. Call me foolish. As I have been fucking for years without kids, I forgot we needed to get these gals, Kaysi included, on the pill! I say all this to Lailani. I get back an answer I am having a hard time digesting. Lailani and these gals want to have children with me! Lailani thinks that Kaysi will say the same thing. And it is entirely possible that Kaysi is already carrying.

Well, son of a bitch! I sure as hell am not going to have the young ones, and that includes Miafe, pregnant. I tell Lailani, the girls have to get on birth control or I will not touch them again. She wants to argue but I tell her in clear terms to, 'can it.' No way! She reports that to the three who are arguing back to her. She says something and they shut up in a hurry.

Ray, Grace asks, that means she can have a child? Yes?

I don't know. I have to speak with Anabel first. Tell her that. She does and Grace signals acceptance. She is not happy, but she is not going to rock the boat. This is not the best time to have this discussion with my wife. It will have to wait until I get home. So what is to be done with these girls now? They all want to fuck and though I can't do a damned thing about that at the moment, we are stuck here for a bit. I send Lailani out to a pharmacy for some condoms. She doesn't like that, at all, but goes out to get the rubbers anyway.

It is three in the afternoon. The girls have not eaten, nor have I. We find a 'Chicken Hauz' just down the street. The girls eat until there is simply nowhere else to pack the food into their bodies. There is giggling, laughing and things are getting a little looser. A little more relaxed. I wonder, if I can just treat the two youngest ones like daughters from now on; no sex at all, and get them into school, will that cause a wreck? I will speak about the idea with Lailani, later. For now, I just want to get through the day without any more sex and hopefully get home tomorrow. This is a damned mess.

When we do get back to the room there is a major discussion taking place and once again, I am not in on what the subject is that is being hashed out. By the time I do learn, I am a little frustrated. The girls had been working out, who gets me next. The eleven-year-old, Mayari, it seems is the winner. Masaya gets me after that, by their agreement, and Grace after that. Good grief, I am a commodity.

I decide to burst their bubbles. I am not interested in any more public sex, with the others not in bed with me, watching. So no more sex until we get home! And then, miracle of miracles, what do you know! Miafe and Grace announce that there is another way back south avoiding the bad bridge.

I have been sandbagged. I have no way of assessing if Lailani was party to this deception. I am truly pissed. It is too late today. We will start off in the morning. It will add a couple of hours more to the trip, but getting home is what I want most.

§ § §

We are just barely out of town, early the next morning, when we pass a fruit stand and Miafe, through Lailani, asks that I stop. The stand is full with Marang. At a cost of ₱25 per kilo, Lailani purchases twenty kilo of the fruit, putting five of them in the cab and the rest in the back.

Also in the back are some pasalubong, of some local delicacies, for the families of the girls, who will come with us. I make it clear, via Lailani, that we cannot stay with their people. We are just returning to say goodbye and gather their belongings. I am aware that there are very few belongings but I assume, surely there must be some!

The marang is wonderful and as we had not gotten breakfast before we left, all five of the fruits are completely consumed in what might be record time.

We arrive before seven in the morning, and surprise those who do not expect to see us for at least another day.

Four females scatter to get their things, as Lailani explains to the mothers that we must leave immediately. It is a very long trip, the way we will be going. To be safe, we must do it in daylight hours. The mothers seem to understand and in just ten minutes my group reassembles and is ready to leave.

I stand outside the pickup, looking at the five females with me and the others who are standing there with us. Yesterday, four of my group looked like they belonged here. Today, with new clothing, showers, and the trip to the beauty parlor, they do not belong here, at least not by appearance. It is a remarkable transformation. And none of them has transformed more than has Grace.

There are brief but profoundly moving goodbyes between the adults and Grace. Two mothers fuss a bit with their daughters and then we are back in the truck and rolling down the road on what will be the farthest from home four of them will ever have traveled in their lives.

In the back of the truck are their personal items. I have more things in a small plastic grocery bag from the market, when I shop, than are collected here, for all four of them together. They have taken no clothing. Lailani tells me that following the shopping trip yesterday, they, individually, and as a group, came to the realization that no article of clothing they had owned was worth holding on to. And yet, they are filled with laughter and good spirits.

During the ride, I come to realize that I had not been sandbagged. Until Lailani told them how important it was for me to return home, they had not even considered the matter enough to mention that there were other ways.

We have a real problem that is going to take some creative ideas. The four of them have no English and little Tagalog. I ask Lailani how she learned, and the answer was one of a long struggle for her but, she insists these gals do have some Tagalog. Still I doubt that they have near enough. We need a better answer for these girls.

As we drive along, there are informal English lessons. Lailani decides that it is more important that they learn English, than Tagalog. I disagree with that and all I can say is that neither of us has won the argument many hours later when we finally drive through the gate and park the truck.

It has been a long trip. The girls have been able to sleep through some parts, but as the only driver, I am exhausted. Lailani has texted Anabel as we have progressed through the trip. And so Anabel and Kaysi are ready for us when we arrive. Anabel ushers me into the master bedroom, while Kaysi works with Lailani to get the new girls settled in for the night. We talk very little. I shower, shave and get into bed, next to my wife. That is what I want. I want nothing else at the moment. And then, I sleep.

§ § §

Do you want more children?

Huh? Good morning to you, too!

Ray, do you want children?

Jesus, Bel, that's a hell of a way to greet me in the morning. Let me wake up and shower first.

Ray, this is serious. Do you want children? The girls say you do but they need my permission. Is that true? Is that what you told them?

No, it's not true. I told them I needed to talk with you about it. That's all.

So you do? If it were not for me, then you would say yes?

Oh, hell, Bel, I don't know. It was never an issue for the two of us and so for all these years I never considered it. I never gave it any thought at all. And then they ask me to give them children. I say, I am not sure and need to talk with you about it first.

But if I was not here, you would say yes, right?

Maybe. Hell, I don't know. And anyway, you are here, and you are my wife, and I do not want to do anything that messes that up!

Then do it.

Huh?

Do it, Ray. Give them babies. Be a father.

Bel, I'm not sure. What will it do to us?

I don't know, but you should do it.

Why?

Because they want babies and they are yours now.

Oh. Well, not the young ones.

Yes. Not the young ones. But Kaysi, if she wants, Lailani does and this Grace, you bring, wants. Ray, you like this Grace?

Bel, I barely know her and she cannot speak any language I know. How can I know her well enough to answer?

You can say, you like her so far. Do you?

Yes. Yes I do. Why do you ask about her?

Because she swears she loves you and will die for you. Did you know that?

No. How did you learn this?

Because she has more Tagalog than you think she has. That's how.

I'll be damned. Why didn't she speak to me?

She is too shy. She is afraid she will say the wrong thing and you will send her away. You know she was a virgin?

Yes, I saw the blood.

She say she wait for you all her life. She dream you many years ago.

Oh, damn. Really?

Yes, really. Do not hurt her, Ray. Be very careful with her.

OK. OK.

Take a shower. I will send her in to you, when you finish the shower.

I see. OK, Bel. OK.

§ § §

Showered, freshly shaved, and dressed in shirt and shorts, I am sitting on the bed when Grace enters. She has been coiffed and dressed in a way that defies explanation, other than to say, it is hard to connect the woman before me with the woman I met two days ago. Grace is stunning.

Based on what Anabel has told me, I address Grace in Tagalog, Good morning, Grace.

She answers back a good morning, but rather than using my name, she uses the Tagalog for 'husband.' Grace, by her reckoning, is now a wife to me. I gather, from Anabel's warning, that I should not correct her on the matter.

She sits down next to me, puts her arms around me and kisses me with sincere passion. It is simply humbling. Anabel told me that Grace would lay down her life for me. At this moment, I believe the truth of it.

She is kissing my eyelids, my forehead, my cheekbones, my nose. She is giggling and kissing. She pushes me back on the mattress and straddles me, resuming the kissing and giggling. She nibbles, nips, licks, kisses, pinches, opens my shirt and kisses my chest. She is at a banquet and I am the meal. And then as a yogi might chant, om, or a krishna might chant, krishna, krishna, hare krishna, Grace is chanting, Asawa, asawa, asawa¹.

Mindful of my wife's instructions, I lift her head up so that we are eye to eye, kiss her forehead, pull back and say, Asawa, ka rin². And then we kiss again, a long and heartfelt kiss.

What follows, I guess can be described as sex, but it doesn't feel like sex as much as it feels like emotional bonding. A joining for a purpose. A merging of souls. A mingling of juices to produce something new, unique and profound. Yes, she undresses me and herself. Yes she climbs on top of me and puts me inside her. It is gentle, meaningful, deliberate, thoughtful, and essentially important. It is a ceremony. It is a celebration. It is the consummation of a marriage.

There is a consummation, as my cum enters Grace. And then Grace hums, to herself. It sounds like a spiritual to my ears.

I pull her into my arms and hold her that way for a good hour before we kiss again, get up and dress each other, ready to meet the rest of the family, in some ways, a new couple.

§ § §

Kaysi, Lailani and Anabel are sitting at the supper table and if it isn't an argument, it's a damned serious discussion that's in progress. I hold Grace back and just listen. Anabel's back is to us and she does not know we are there. Lailani knows, but is not giving any Anabel any warning. I am pretty sure Kaysi knows we are there, too, but she is also being stoic.

The conversation is about pregnancy, childbirth and children. As Grace and I hang back, we can hear everything being said. Lailani, evidently wants to get us up to speed on the conversation without giving away our presence.

Ate, I know you lose two sisters in their first childbirths, but that was a long time ago and, if you give birth in the hospital, you will not die. Things are different these days. It will be safe. I promise you. We will see a woman's doctor and talk to her about this. We will all go with you. You will see. It will be OK.

No! Ray not want me to die! I know he love me enough that he not require me to have children. I do not want to die!

Ate, you will not die! I promise.

Friend! That is not something you can promise. You not control such a thing.

Anabel, Lailani is correct. Things have changed. You do not have to agree with us, but at least see a doctor and talk to her about this, OK?

I will think about this. I know Ray not require it of me.

You are correct. I know he will not ever require it, but Lailani is also correct, if we have Ray's children and you do not, there will be problems in this house.

Why? I tell Ray, he should give you babies. He knows this now. There is no problem.

Friend Anabel, saying it is one thing. Having it happen is something else. It will be a problem. Lailani's fear is true.

It went on this way for quite a while before Anabel agrees to at least see a doctor. Grace and I slip out of the room and back into the bedroom. I ask Grace, how much of that conversation she understood. Her answer is that she understood all of it. She offers to talk to Anabel. Grace wants Anabel to have a child by me.

We are noisy as we reenter the rest of the house. The others are no longer gathered around the table and all just look up to greet us. It is as if nothing has happened.

In a follow-up to my conversation with Anabel this morning, I ask that the young ones all be taken to a doctor for birth control. Kaysi pipes up, saying, Yes! Of course, Anabel and I will take them all tomorrow morning, OK Anabel?

Anabel looks like she doesn't want to do this, but has been cornered. She agrees, yes, bukas³.

Lailani asks if Grace and she can go too. She needs a pap smear and she does not think that Grace has ever been to a woman's doctor before. It would be good to have her get a check-up. Would I agree to that?

Yes, I do agree and so the following morning, all the females in the house, save Kaysi's daughter, go 'en masse' to the OB/Gyn. God only knows what the doctor makes of all this!

§ § §

§ § §

Chapter 9