Knock-knock
Morning finds me with a hangover headache. Damn, I drank far too much rum without a foundation in my stomach. I know better. My stomach is not cooperating either. I am burping noxious fumes. I decide the best medicine right now is bread. I take four slices out of the bag containing the loaf, and just eat them without ceremony.
That does the trick and the belching stops. I brew some coffee and take it black with a little sugar. Between cups of the brew, I grab two aspirin and swallow them with a sip of coffee from the second mug’s worth.
An hour later, the headache is subsiding a bit and my stomach, if not in tiptop condition, is not at war with me. I check Facebook again. This time I see if the friends I had and my family have also blocked me. They haven’t. My friends are still my friends. It’s just that all the folks I knew after Charline and I got together have blocked me. I now proceed to block each and every one of them.
It’s not that I am going to post anything right now. It’s just that my business is no concern of hers anymore and as these folks have chosen sides, they don’t need to see it either.
This morning my hands were shaking too much to do any carving on the walking stick, but they have settled down now. I go back out to the terrace and start by using a pencil and drawing a serpent wrapping around the stick from bottom with the handle being the mouth. If I make an error with the pencil, no harm is done. I am drawing for a couple of hours when a voice from outside the gate calls, Ay-oooo! Ay-ooo!1
I put the stick down and walk to the gate. On the other side are two women. One clearly older than the other.
Maayong buntag2, Sir.
Good morning Madam. Wala3 Cebuano.
OK, oo4, we try English. You need maid?
Yes. Why do you ask?
Your wife leave you? We hear this.
I see. Are you a maid?
Me? Dili5. My daughter. This one. She a good girl. She be your maid maybe?
How old is she?
Sixteen, Sir.
Then no.
Why, Sir? She is a hard worker.
She is too young to be in my home alone with me. You or someone else could call the police. Say I do wrong.
No, Sir! It OK. No problem.
No. She is too young.
Wait, we be back. I show you it OK.
Madam, I am sure your daughter is a good girl. But she is just too young.
Yes, yes… We be back!
They leave and I return to my drawing of a serpent. I am not sure how I want the head to look. I go inside and pull up serpent drawings on a web browser. I find two I like and print them out, to use as references, as I continue drawing while on the terrace. It is another warm and sunny day. I am in the shade and I have a fan blowing a gentle breeze on me as I continue to sketch on the wood.
I will try an open faced serpent. The widening on the end, being a natural ‘stop’ for my hand, so as not to slide off. My cross hatching patterns need to reveal the geometric markings on the serpent’s skin.
Out front a police car pulls up to a stop. Just what I do not need. I put the wood and pencil down and walk to the gate as a PNP6 officer approaches the gate.
Sir Roland?
Yes, Sir. How may I help you?
Sir, I wish to inform you that should you hire my niece, no one will accuse you of any misdeed.
Officer, are you referring to the sixteen-year-old who was brought to my house this morning by her mother?
Yes, Sir Roland. My sister tell me she bring Jecim. You say she too young. You afraid you get in trouble.
Yes, that is correct. I want no problems.
It no problem, Sir. She be good for you. But Sir, may I ask why your wife leave you?
I see the gossip is working. Well, Officer, I can tell you what I know. You should ask her family, because no one is speaking to me. Maybe they will say something that is different from what I have been told. Please come in. I will give you tubig7 or Sprite.
Yes! Thanks to you for this. Water is good.
I unlock the gate and allow the officer entry. I don’t figure I am in any trouble as he is asking me to hire his niece. I really don’t want to do it. But I don’t need to be rude to the man.
We sit on the terrace, he with a glass of water, and I explain as best I can, what has happened. He is patient and asks a few questions but nothing troubling. As it is pissing me off, I go over the fact that my sister-in-law was supposed to help with the PhilHealth. Now it looks like I will be out of luck with that too.
When I am done, he shakes his head and says, if this is true, then my wife has done a great wrong. It is also true, as he notes, that I will be unable to gain an annulment as there are no grounds for this. Further, beyond the fact there are no grounds, as she has left the country and appears to be the offending party, she would not be able to seek an annulment even if there were grounds. It means I am forever married to my wife, even though she has left me.
I say, Yes, and because of that, having an underage girl in my home, is dangerous for me.
Sir, I will speak with your wife’s family. If it is as you say, even if you take Jecim as a mistress, no one will complain. I think, many would be happy. But allow me to check first!
Officer, I think talking about taking a mistress of a young girl, such as your niece is illegal. I do not wish to break any law.
No, Sir, it is only illegal if the parents or the girl complains.
What about the case of Freddy Aguilar and the sixteen-year-old?
Yes, but that was because a high government official decided to suggest that he would file a child protection case against the parents for allowing this. That was very unusual and it not clear he really can do that. Such relationships are not uncommon here. If the family agrees, there is never a problem. But allow me to talk to the family.
Yes! Absolutely and then please come back here and tell me what they say! I still am not sure what has happened.
Yes, very good, Sir. Thank you for the water. I will return when I know more.
I really don’t like where this is headed. From a maid who is too young, we are now talking about a mistress. I don’t want to take on a mistress and most certainly not a sixteen-year-old mistress. And who for Christ’s sake thinks that this girl, this Jecim wants to be my mistress anyway?
It is crazy to even think this girl with whom I have not even spoken a word would want to be my mistress.
I feel like I am experiencing the bends. This is way out of control. My hands are shaking. I need something to eat and settle down.
My culinary wizardry produces a sliced Spam and fried egg with mayo sandwich accompanied by beer. And if you are running for the Pepto, hey don’t knock it, it tastes great. Any-who… I get my lunch eaten, dishes washed and am back out on the terrace once again when the PNP vehicle pulls up. Three climb out: the officer, his sister, and Jecim.
I open the gate and they enter. I suspect that when a police official wants you to hire his niece, it may be a very stupid thing to refuse. But let’s see how this plays out.
Along with two chairs, there are two long bamboo benches with arms and backs on the terrace, so all four of us have seats and room.
The Officer notices my woodworking project and asks to look at it. I hand it to him. This is an interesting drawing. Will you paint this?
No I will carve it next.
You can do this carving yourself?
Yes.
I must see this when you finish. It will be a very interesting piece of work. You are an artist?
No, I was an accountant. This is a hobby.
I see. It is good to have such a hobby. … Sir Roland, I have some news for you. None good, but not bad for you in one way. I speak to the father. He agree with what you tell me and add to it. I think this was her plan for a long time. He try to talk her out of it. He tell her she dishonors her family if she do this. He hope she change her mind. But she not. He not talk to you for shame. He say, they have no honor now.
I see. But I need her sister’s help for the PhilHealth and the 13A visa in two years.
Yes they know this. We talk about it. I tell them that even more shame will come to them if they do not do these things for you. I believe they will. … Sir there is more. They agree, you are a good man who do no wrong.
That is good to know, I guess.
Yes. I take my sister and niece when I talk to him. They hear all this too. They know why your wife not here. I explain to them that you can never marry again. They understand this, Sir.
Good.
Sir Roland, I think my niece, she want to speak to you.
The girl is looking at the floor. It is hard to believe she wants to speak. I know her uncle and maybe her mother wants her to speak, but surely not the girl.
Sir? Well, want to or not, she is speaking, if still looking at the floor.
Yes?
She lifts her head up and looks right at me. Sir, I know I am plain looking, not gwapa8 like your wife, but I not evil like her! I will take care of you. I will cook your food, wash your clothes, clean your house, and do all that is needed. I will be your maid. If you want to love me, I will be more. I will do for you, what it means to have honor and not shame, if you allow it.
Now that is a lot for any English impaired speaker to manage. It is quite a statement to make. I get the point about honor, but I fail to see why she thinks putting her sixteen-year-old body under me, has anything to do with Charline’s family’s shame.
As to the girl not being beautiful, well, there’s not a damned thing wrong with the kid that I can see. She is a cutie. But God Almighty, she’s only sixteen. I’m sixty-seven.
Still I need a maid. So why fight that. Instead I decide to make it conditional.
First and just so we are clear on this, Jecim, you are very pretty. That is not, in any way, ever, going to be a problem. My eyes are happy to see you. But, I am going to hire you as a maid and that is all. I expect that there may be women I see, from time to time. I do not know if I will ever live with another woman in the house, except as a maid. As you live close to here, I suspect you can go home each night.
No, Sir, I will live here if you allow it. It make my job as your maid easier.
Officer, …
Please call me Jomar. We will be friends I hope.
Very well, Jomar, are you and I clear that I will be seeing other women?
Sir Roland, this is your right! In fact, it is expected. Your wife abandoned you. You have every right to see many women. No woman can complain as no woman may marry you. Even if you take Jecim as a mistress, she needs to understand that she is not a wife and has no say in who you are with!
If you want me to call you Jomar, then I insist you call me Roland. … Jecim, I want you to understand that this house may be too much for you. In the past, before my wife left, she had a maid and they both worked to keep the house clean. I will still probably need to get another maid.
May I get her for you, Sir?
No, Jecim. As of now, I do not know if you can actually do the work. I agree to hire you with the understanding that if you are unable, you will need to go. I believe you probably can do much of the work. But I do not know how well you can cook for my tastes. I do not know how thoroughly you can clean the house.
Roland, you are correct, of course. My niece needs to prove herself. I am confident that you will be fair in your assessment. It is true that we cannot know if she will be a good cook for you. She is a good cook for her family, but this is different. Jecim, do you understand that this will be a challenge for you, my niece?
Yes, Uncle. I understand. I will do good. If I do wrong, maybe Sir will explain, so I can do better?
Roland, my niece asks a good question. May she seek your guidance, so that she can improve?
Yes. It is a reasonable request.
Very good, Roland, sister, I must leave you now. I have work to attend to. Jecim, you also have work to attend to! Roland, I am pleased to know you. I look forward to our next meeting.
We shake hands, he kisses his sister’s cheek and is off.
You know Madam, I still do not know your name.
She giggles and tells me, I am Iren, Sir. Sir, may I leave? My other children need my attention!
Yes, by all means. Please do what you must.
With that Iren almost runs out the gate and down the road. I look at this girl. She is really a sweetie, but can she clean? And why does everyone talk about her being a mistress?
Sir, will you show me what you are doing with that stick?
And so I show her what the concept is and she claims to be very impressed. How can I know what is real and what is sham anymore? I thought my marriage was real only to find out that it was a sham from the beginning. Charline was pulling a long con. She is a grifter. How do I know Jecim isn’t a grifter?
Sir what do you want for supper?
I am not sure we have anything you are familiar with in the kitchen. I may need to cook tonight and we can go shopping in the morning.
May I look, Sir?
Sure.
I take her into the kitchen and am about to show her what I have, but she says, OK, you go now. I will choose what to make. You go back to your wood please.
As the afternoon progresses, I notice she has swept up some, as she is sweeping dirt out the front door and off the terrace. I smell some interesting aromas from the kitchen, and I don’t hear any catastrophes. I guess it is promising and if all she is, is the maid, does it matter if she isn’t honest so long as she doesn’t steal?
I have begun the carving on the stick, but just barely, when I am called to supper. I look into the kitchen. It is spotless. She has already cleaned everything. The table is set for one. There is rice in a bowl, a platter of cream dory that looks like it was fried in egg and flour. There is something I think I have had before and liked. If I am right it is mashed eggplant cooked in coconut milk with a massive amount of garlic. Also on the table is a beer.
If it tastes as good as it looks, then I am going to have a wonderful supper.
Jecim is standing by the kitchen door, just watching me. I want to smile, but decide to play it a little indifferent. I sit down, put some rice on the plate, I add some of the vegetable and then a piece of the fish. I haven’t tasted a blessed thing. I make a face of concern and then take a spoonful of vegetable and rice.
It is wonderful. I don’t show anything on my face. I cut off a piece of the fish with the edge of the spoon and scoop it up with more rice. Wow. She has seasoned it to perfection. Even the rice is cooked correctly. I look up and call out, Get yourself a plate and join me.
Is it OK, Sir?
Jecim, you know damned well that this is more than good. This is perfect. Now get a plate. I do not want to eat alone.
She hurries to get her plate and come to the table. She takes just a little bit. I grab her plate and put a fair bit of everything on it, before handing it back.
Sir, I cannot eat this much.
Eat as much as you like. You will be working hard here. Don’t starve yourself.
We eat in quiet. She finishes her plate and gives a good belch. I laugh, she blushes.
Sir, where do I sleep?
1 - Sounds like I-oh, I-oh. The "ay" is hard "I."
2 - Good morning [Cebuano]
3 - Basically I am using a pidgin, ‘I have no Cebuano.’ Wala means “none” or “no” in this context. But if I was to say ‘No!’ to you, I would say ‘Dili’ in Cebuano. Still the mean of Dili in this context would be rude and wrong.
4 - Yes. [Pronounced: Oh-Oh]
5 - No.
6 - Philippine National Police.
7 - Water.
8 - Beautiful.