Grim
Jelou has a new status. She has more than earned it.
I do find it interesting that I am not alone, having more than one lover. But I see no reason to want to reach out further. They have their reasons for what they are doing and I have mine. It is not a fraternity.
Jelou is right that I need my space. I need it from the girls and from guys as well. I’m just not a very social fella. That’s why being an accountant was such a good fit for me. I can sit with numbers, alone at my desk all day long and not desire any contact with anyone else. Just the opposite. I needed to be left alone so I could concentrate on what I was doing.
Now, I do put the wood down when needed, but truth be told, I would just as soon not be interrupted here either. It interrupts the flow for me. I find it jarring.
The concept that I would socialize with a guy who is fucking eleven year olds is sort of terrifying. I want nothing to do with that. My girls are chatting with the other families and I will not stop it. They like knowing that there are other girls to whom they can safely talk. It seems to have delighted them.
If I tried to put up a wall between the girls in the two families, it might create more problems than it would solve.
I have spoken with both Jezryl and Vieve, about continuing their education but for now, initially both said, no. They want to be the ones who take care of the house, but they wanted to learn to cook. It turns out that to enroll in a culinary school, they need to have graduated high school or have that equivalency certificate. So I guess they will pursue it. Who knew that to take a cooking class, you have to have a high school diploma!
My cell phone is ringing but I don’t recognize the number.
Hello?
I wish to speak with Sir Roland Anders.
Speaking. Who is this?
I am Attorney Santos, representing your father-in-law in a matter concerning you.
OK, so how can I assist you?
You can tell me why you require Ping to do things that are evil and against his interests.
That is a pretty strong claim you are making, Santos. Care to explain why you feel you have the right to say what you have said?
May I remind you that you have no rights here? You are not Filipino! You have no right to disrespect our culture! You are to address me as Attorney Santos!
Santos, anyone who makes the claims, as you have just done, does not have the right to expect anything else from me. You have done nothing to earn my respect. You can tell Ping that my offer has been withdrawn. We are done here. And I hang up.
I had to interrupt my carving for that shit. Man alive, what crap.
My phone rings again. It’s the attorney. I don’t answer it. Twenty minutes later Ping is calling. I don’t answer it. An hour later Jomar is at the gate.
Roland, why you rude to Attorney Santos?
So I tell Jomar what has transpired and then get him some water to drink. He tells me he understands why I did it, but maybe I should have not hung up on the guy.
Why?
It is not respectful, Roland.
Was he respectful to me?
No, but he an attorney.
And I am his elder, wealthier, and probably better educated than he is. So why does he deserve my respect when he doesn’t show the same to me?
Ah, true. You really withdrawing the agreement with Ping?
Yes.
Can it be fixed?
You mean, can Santos come here, get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness? Sure, when that day comes, I will consider it.
You joking.
No.
Please call him Attorney Santos.
No.
OK. I will tell Ping it is not possible. And with that Jomar leaves.
What a waste of my morning. It started out so nice and now I am pissed off, in a foul mood, and don’t have the composure to carve, or read. I go in and pour a beer.
One thing is for sure. I don’t want to see anyone else today. The gals all have keys, so locking the gate will not be a problem for them.
Once I have locked the gate I tell the girls that I am not accepting any visitors, none. To tell all who might come that I am not available and not let anyone in. I take a folding chair and sit down in the backyard.
While I rarely go there, there is not a damned thing wrong with the backyard. I just need some peace and quiet. But my three homebodies follow me outside, wanting to know why I am acting as I am.
They have a right to know, so I go over all that has transpired.
Jecim seems scared. Jezryl is angry, but not with me. Vieve doesn’t show much emotion, but suggests she be the one to deal with anyone who comes calling. There is something going on behind her black eyes that I can’t decipher.
I have no problems with your suggestion. It is fine with me, but I need to ask, why? Why do you want to do this?
Santos a pig.
Vieve, you need to be more specific. Why is he a pig?
Jezryl and me know another girl. She do what we do in the past. He take her, fuck her, and beat her up. He break her nose. He break her arm. He a pig. I happy you be this way with him.
Jezryl? Is this why you seem angry.
I get eyebrows.
Thank you for telling me. Now just give me some time to sit and find a way to relax.
Jecim wants to know if I will eat lunch. I tell her yes. She goes back into the house with Vieve. Jezryl stays behind and tells me she will rub my back and neck. It’ll help me relax.
She’s right, of course. It does help. The laying on of hands always helps.
Noon time arrives and I enter the house to eat. We four are sitting at the table. My mood has lightened a bit and Vieve is telling me a funny story about a priest who needed his radiator flushed, so to speak, when there is a call from the direction of the gate.
Vieve interrupts the story to deal with it. Jecim moves to the door to see and hear what transpires.
Jezryl is motioning for me to stand close to her but out of eyesight of the gate.
Sir, Ping, Santos, a guard and a policeman are there. The guard, he pointing a rifle at Vieve! They demanding to see you. Vieve say, this not happen. You not coming. Santos is yelling at Vieve! Oh! … Vieve say, ‘You be careful. I know what you do to Clarisa! You break her arm. You break her nose. Me and my friend see it. You threaten me? Ha! You should be in jail. You a pig!’ … The policeman he ask Vieve a question about this. … OK, she tell him more about what Santos do to Clarisa. … He say, why Clarisa no file charges? … OK, Vieve say, how she do that? She a prostitute. But it true what Santos do. He not have honor, why he threaten Sir Roland who do nothing wrong. It the daughter and wife of Ping, and maybe Ping too who do great wrong. … Yes… The policeman ask what she mean. … OK she tell him about what Charline do… she tell them that the family know from the beginning what she will do. She accuse them of conspiring with the daughter to cheat you. … She say niece of Jomar live here. Jomar know this. He know what she say true. … Ha! OK. The Policeman he not know this is the home of the niece of Jomar. He yell at the guard, stop pointing rifle at Vieve. Guard argue. He say Roland disrespect Santos. Roland be shown how to treat a Filipino! … Wait. The policeman answer phone call. It stop, he is yell… leave or die! Leave now! Guard laugh, why that? Policeman say Jomar and four other PNP on their way to kill us! This man not to be harmed. Not threatened. Leave now!... Yes the policeman he leave. The others, they arguing. Guard point gun at Vieve again.
Vieve has run into the house and stands by me. Jezryl says… they still arguing. Santos wants guard to force the gate. He says shoot the lock. Ping begging them stop. The guard say stand back. Maybe there flying metal pieces when he shoot the lock. Guard step back too. Not want to be close to the lock! Roland they will come in! … There more arguing. Ping scream, stop! Not do this! Wait… I see flash of pulisiya1 vehicle lights. Yes it coming. … It Jomar and others. They pointing rifles at guard. They tell him put weapon down or die. Guard arguing. PNP officer…
I hear a loud report. A rifle shot.
Oh my God! Rolie. Guard! They shoot him. He fall down, bleeding.
Jecim runs out to her uncle, but only as far as the inside of the gate. I step into the doorway to see what is happening.
The police are taking Santos into custody. Jecim calls her uncle over to say Ping was begging them to stop. He was not involved in the violence or the threat on me. That last part, I’m not so sure of, but as I didn’t understand what was being said, I’m in no position to argue with her.
Santos is screaming about an ambulance. The officers don’t seem to think it is a problem for them. They are letting the guy just bleed out. Leveling a rifle at a PNP officer is a death sentence.
Another vehicle pulls up. It is the policeman from earlier. He sees the guard on the ground, steps around the body, walks up to Jomar and reports to him and the other officers the events of earlier, or so I surmise.
Yes, that must be it, as Jomar turns to Santos and asks him something about Clarisa. The other officers stand there. Santos is belligerent. Jomar is saying something to an officer. I gather it is an order to take the cuffs off Santos.
Huh, maybe Santos has some power here. The cuffs are off. More words between Santos and Jomar. It is an ugly exchange. Jomar is clearly unhappy. Who the fuck is this Santos, that he can push Jomar and the others around? … Oh, shit! Jomar has shot the guy, twice in the head! Fuck!
Vieve grabs my arm. She is shaking as she talks to me. Rolie! Jomar is asking Ping if he really wants to die too. Ping swearing he not want this to happen. The guard and Santos force him to come with them. Jomar tell Ping, all the officers know what his family do to you Rolie. Jomar tell him to fix it or he die too. Jomar say, you too nice to Ping. You only nice because you foreigner. If you a Filipino maybe Ping and Merly be dead already. He tell Ping, he to say he see guard and Santos physically threaten PNP officers. Officers shoot in self-defense. … Ping say he understand.
Ping is running down the road. The officers load the two lifeless bodies into the rear bed of one of the four door short bed police pickups and drive off.
I normally don’t drink in the middle of the day, but today is an exception. I forego the brandy and pour myself a light rhum over ice, while grabbing some slices of white bread to soften the blow.
The gals get a water hose out to the street and start washing the blood from where it has pooled on the pavement. Jesus, what a fucking nightmare.
I hung up on the guy. That is all. Why did it have to end in two dead in front of my house?
Roland, you know why Jomar shoot Santos?
No. I don’t have a fucking clue.
Santos say I a whore, just like Vieve. He say he will file charges for bad morals against you and accuse me of prostitution. That why he kill him.
I am not sure that killing the guy would have been my reaction to such a threat, but as Santos said, I don’t respect Filipino culture well enough. Maybe Santos didn’t either.
I sit down with my drink on the terrace. I am not OK. Not even close to it. The gals don’t seem to be OK, either. Their faces betray intense anger. Jezryl is pounding her fist against the arm of a chair, over and over again. Vieve is walking in circles. Jecim is just staring off, into the middle distance.
It is Jecim who speaks. Men! Why they do this to us?
Why do you think all men did something to us? I don’t understand.
Not you Roland. Us! Women! There now two widows, I think. How many children now no father? Why they kill? Why they make problems? Why they threat us? Why they so stupid?
I have no answer to that, nor do the other girls. We just sit or stand, mute and unable to come to grips with the events of the day in any sane manner.
Minutes and hours slide by. Myra comes back from work. She has evidently heard something at work. She sidesteps the blood on the street, lets herself in the gate and enters the house.
An hour later, Jelou arrives by tricycle. She seems to have no clue what has transpired. She also avoids the blood outside but, as she enters the gate, and before she can open her mouth, Myra hurries to her and drags her inside the house.
The sun is setting now. I have been out here for hours on the terrace, unable to move, or at least unable to think of what we should do, and so not moving is the result of that confusion.
But Myra sticks her head out of the door and calls me inside to eat.
There, at last, is something for which I can move. We four wander to the table and find the table set, food prepared and ready for us. We sit at the table, mute and still confused. Before we can think to pick up a spoon, Myra offers a prayer over the food, the house, and us, as we are her family, that we be safe in God’s sweet hands. We all say, Amen.
I am sure the food tastes fine, but I taste nothing. I only know I am taking nourishment into my body.
After supper, Jelou turns on the jazz, but I ask her to turn it off. Not tonight, please. Myra asks if I want my brandy. I do not. I will take some more rhum over ice. There is no good reason to waste good brandy on me tonight.
It is nine. Time for me to go upstairs, though I have not noticed the time. My cellphone is ringing. Not thinking, I answer it.
Hello?
Rolie?
Charline? What do you want now?
Don’t kill them! Please?!
What the fuck are you talking about?
My parents. They say you will kill them.
Either you are lying again, or they are lying. I don’t care which.
I not lie!
Why should I believe that? You lied to me for almost ten years. You’re nothing but a liar.
They say unless I give you the house, the car and the land, that they are dead.
That may be true, but I did not make the threat. I don’t kill.
You hire someone to kill them? Please don’t!
Fuck you. I am not killing anyone. If someone is going to kill then it is not because I have anything to do with the threat.
But they will die? Please stop it!
It isn’t me… but, no. I won’t.
Who threaten them?
Ask them.
They won’t tell me.
That’s not my problem.
They say unless I do what they say, they dead!
That is between you and them. I have nothing to do with it.
But it’s mine!
No Charline, it’s in your name, but I paid for it. By all rights, since you left me, it is not yours. You are a con-artist and a thief.
Don’t kill them.
I am just going to say this once more before I hang up. I am not killing anyone.
And I end the call. There is no reason to talk to her any longer. But now I am too much on edge to go to bed. I decide on more rhum.
Eventually, I make my way to bed only to find Jecim, Vieve and Jezryl in my bed, waiting for me. I am about to tell the girls I am not up for a damned thing tonight, but they have anticipated me. Vieve explains, Just be with us. We not want to be alone tonight.
And so, following a shower, I manage to get into bed with them and sleep.
The next few days are uneventful, I guess, though the blood stains on the street stubbornly remain. There was some excitement over the deaths, but it has stopped. It seems both the guard and Santos were known as hotheads and many thought it a miracle they had lived as long as they did. Santos and his bodyguard had been warned a number of times for violence against others, but the charges never seemed to stick.
That being the case, no one was prepared to suggest the officers acted in anything but a proper fashion.
There are, as Jecim surmised, two widows and seven fatherless children now. It is sad, but I am not the cause of their deaths. If you follow Filipino culture, you would say, they are responsible for their own deaths. And while that may be the case for the guard who would not drop his rifle, the matter of Santos is, for me, far less simple. Still, it was not me who killed him or asked that he die.
I don’t know either widow and, if their deaths had been on the other side of the city, I surely would not have a reason to offer condolences, so I decide we should do nothing about it. We sit out all of it. The guys are both buried eight days later.
I have heard nothing from Ping, nothing more from Charline, and nothing from Jomar. The girls and I have been reserved with each other. Not cold, but not effusive. I suspect you might say, it has been a mannered way of behaving.
I have been with Jelou twice, Myra once, Jecim twice, and the dynamic duo, Vieve and Jezryl, twice. Tonight Myra is to be with me.
But that is hours from now. At the moment, Jelou is sitting on the terrace with me. Rolie, some at school hear that the shootings happen at our house. I tell them that not true. It happen on the street, in front of our house. We not have anything to do with it. That OK?
Yes, that’s fine.
I know one of the children of Attorney Santos. He in our school. He ask me, what happen. I tell him I not know. I tell him I am sorry for his loss. He thank me for that. Rolie, you know I really know what happen, right?
No, I didn’t know, but OK, I’m not surprised you do.
So you know I lie to him, right?
I do, now.
You OK with that?
Yes. I am glad you lied.
1 - Tagalog formal name for Police