Too soon.

It is Sunday morning. Maricris has left the bedroom. Lyla is sleeping soundly. I try to get out of bed without waking her up. I fail.

Sir, come back please.

Why?

Oh, you are so bobo! I want a baby. We do it again, please!

That's it? You are not feeling sexy or horny, you just want my cum inside you?

Hehe, maybe, maybe I like it too!

What do you like about it?

Bastos Ka¹

Oh, so you want to do 'it,' but you think it is rude to talk about 'it?'

Opo! Of course! Please do it!

Move that pretty ass of yours to the edge of the bed.

Like this?

Yes. Now put your legs on my shoulders.

But you are not on the bed. Why I do that?

You will see. Just do it.

OK. This is weird, Sir. … Oh Sir. You are … Oh!

I am standing on the side of the bed and pumping in and out of Lyla, who is on her back, legs in the air and against my shoulders. I see her in all her young lovely beauty before me. She is a sweet girl and I have no doubt that if she gets pregnant, she will be a good mother. But just because Angeli 'caught' and is pregnant, I really doubt there will be a second pregnancy. However, fucking Lyla, is a reward for me, without any other payoff. So while Lyla might have another goal, as I fuck her, I do not. Her breasts are perky enough at this age that they still have shape and are not flat against her chest. Her reddish-pink nipples on her brownish breasts are sexy and cute. She is tiny, but not juvenile. She is staring at me as I pound her cunt. I play with her clit with my fingers. I have a handful of ass in my other. She cums hard. To Lyla, with whom I clearly have the most intimate of relationships, I am, for her, still something removed from her level. And in the most incongruous way, she expresses a sentiment I have a hard time processing. Oh, Sir! Yes, Sir! Sir! Oh fuck, Sir!

Being called 'Sir' while you fuck your lover, is something I bet few have ever experienced. But I am fucked up enough that it gets me off and I perform for the girl. She gets the protein shake she sought.

After my shower, and having dressed, I join the family this Sunday for what is non-stop chatter about Belen and Iay. The disappearance is the only subject worth their time it seems. China might put an entire contingent of war ships around the Spratly Islands and it would not be as important to my girls as this.

I sit at the dining table with my coffee. The discussion continues to swirl around me. The new room assignments are being discussed. Are we sure, the two are really gone? Well, no, we can't be, as they didn't announce their plans, but just left. Might they come back? There is great doubt, but no certainty. Everyone seems to like the room assignments, or at least aren't complaining about them. Analyn seems to be thrilled, and is sticking close to Joy2x. Rez and Laarni are playing with an iPad and giggling madly. Lyla has spent a long time getting dressed today and just looks radiant. She is smiling and humming, and just pleased with the world. Angeli is hovering around Ann, whenever Ann allows it, but right now she is not allowing it. She has gone out to the Lanai with Maricris and the two of them are deep in conversation.

I get a text from Scotty. He says Lilian wants to come over. He asks, what our day looks like. I walk out to the lanai and interrupt Ann and Maricris, to ask them about whether they were ready for Lilian. Ann says, yes, we will see her, that it's fine, but how about after 2PM. I text the time to Scotty, and get an 'OK' back.

On my entry back into the main Sala, I tell Joy2x and Angeli that Lilian and Scotty will be here at 2PM.

Boss, that's weird, how they know?

You mean why do they pick this day to come over?

Yes, that.

Joy2x, didn't you wonder how Ann found out Angeli is pregnant?

Oh, that's right, how she know? Oh you think Lilian tell her?

Yes I do. I think the reason we have been getting visits by Lilian, is that she has been reporting to Ann.

Lilian is a spy!

Yes, but it was for a good reason, and I am happy that she did it.

Lewis, maybe she know what wrong with Ann.

Ann told me last night that she had been sick, but was better now. She didn't tell you that?

Yes, Lewis, she tell me, but I not believe it. There is something wrong but she not saying. I ask her if she see a doctor. She say, no reason to do that now. I am worried for her.

Boss, maybe Lilian know. If she care enough about Ann, maybe she care enough to tell us.

Joy2x, that's an interesting theory. Test it and see what you get.

With all the hubbub around me, I decide the best course of action is to retreat to my desk and ignore it all. Everything being discussed is pure speculation and I can think of nothing less productive than pursuing any of this. What is needed are facts and they are unavailable for the moment. If I can't find out by the end of the day, I will ask Ann to please see our physician, just to make sure she is OK.

As to Belen, and Iay, I suspect we have seen the last of them. It seems Belen is a dangerous schemer. We will have a better shot at stability without that here. As for Iay, she is a cutie, but as I have mentioned before, I never felt that she fit here and I never understood why. I still don't know, but if she was tied into all this with her mother, it is better that she be gone.

We are now eleven, including me. Of my ten girls, there are five I will not be with. Five is more than enough. I will have Noime, two or three times a week, Lyla two evenings a week, but am pretty sure there will be a nooner, or two, based on her past behavior. I will have Rez, and Moon, each probably once a week. That is a full plate. I will make sure I get at least one night each week alone with Maricris.

Maricris does not want to get pregnant, so I am going to send her to the physician, at the same time as Ann goes, and get on birth control. I would do the same for Rez and Moon, but they don't want it. If I suggest it to Lyla, she will have a shit fit.

I am pondering what my family will look like in the years to come, with the addition of children, from Angeli and maybe Lyla. I am also looking at the calendar. In just a few months I process the naturalization papers. I do lose my US citizenship. So will my child, or children will be Filipinos only, I guess. I don't know what happens if a child is born before I relinquish my US citizenship. Anyway, I am day dreaming when the doorbell rings. Scotty and Lilian are here.

Lewis, do I hear right? You are about to be a dad?

Who's spreading the rumors?

Aw, man, I hear it from my wife. So is it true?

Scotty, I have heard the rumors, too. But Ann has just returned, yesterday. How could she be pregnant?

Hey, you know I ain't talkin' 'bout Ann.

Which one Scotty? Which one looks pregnant to you?

Huh, … none, but Lilian told me last month that one of them was knocked up.

Last month? Not last week?

No, last month, man.

Interesting. I just heard the rumor a little more than a week ago.

Really?

Yup.

Damn. Lewis, I get the feeling that I just stepped in a pile of crap.

Well, Scotty, someone did. Someone has been stirring the pot. Tell me, when did your wife tell you that she wanted to come over today?

She mentioned it last night, about ten o'clock and it was too late to text you then.

Indeed, it was. … Scotty, grab a beer from the fridge, I will be right back.

As I walk off, I text Angeli, Maricris and Joy2x to meet me in my bedroom right now. When we all are assemble, I fill them in on what I just learned. I do not know how much of this is known to Ann. But she, as a courtesy, needs to be warned, in case she doesn't know that Belen is working a back channel through Lilian. There were only two people who knew Angeli was pregnant last month, Angeli and Belen. Angeli didn't tell Lilian, so we now know that Belen told her. We also have reason to believe that Belen contacted Lilian about the time she left last night. It is possible that Ann knows or knows part of it. We could try to play it close to the vest, but that assumes malevolence on Ann's part and I am unwilling to do that. It also doesn't make sense based on Belen's actions. I ask Angeli and Maricris, whomever can get to Ann first, to give her a heads up on this. I'm about to go back to Scotty now, with bowls of chips and salsa in my hands.

But as I am finishing up, Angeli has her cellphone out and she texts Ann...

Mahal, Scott said Lilian know about my pregnancy last month. I not tell her. Scott say Lilian tell him last night, late, they need to come here today. Watch out.

Ann texts back...

OK, good to know.

Here you go, Scotty! Real Doritos and medium salsa. Need another beer?

Scott and Lilian stay for supper and leave at eight in the evening. We are exhausted from the tension of having them here. Ann almost slams the door as she walks in, after escorting them out the gate and locking up.

That bitch!

Excuse me? I am not used to hearing my wife speak that way.

You hear me, husband! She sneaking around to find things out and stir up trouble! Good thing Angeli text me!

Well, if she hadn't Joy2x or Maricris would have done the same?

Ganun?

Sure. How do you think Angeli learned about what Scott said?

Of course! You tell them! And then they warn me! Good, Lewis. Good. That bitch, she trying to make trouble. So I ask her, 'when you talk to Belen last?' She say, 'Oh, I don't know?' I say to her, 'When do Belen tell her that Angeli pregnant?' She say, 'Why you think Belen tell me that?' I tell her, no one else know. Only Belen. I say to her. 'If you want to stay talking to Belen, do not come here. She cause us all trouble. She evil.' Lilian say she not doing that, but Lewis, I not believe her. I see it in her eyes. She lying. We be careful what we say to her. You be careful what you say to Scotty. He tell Lilian what you tell him.

The four of them, Joy2x, Angeli, Ann and Maricris continue the conversation as they tackle the remnants of supper, putting things away and cleaning up. Lyla has been helping Laarni move into her new room. She is also moving her own stuff, plus all Joy2x, Analyn, Ann and Angeli's things. So even though she is not cleaning this up, she is not sitting on her hands. Lyla is a worker. All of them are. There is not a lazy one here, except for me. But if I try to do anything physical, they all have a tantrum.

This is Sunday night and I will spend the night alone with Maricris. I am looking forward to that. I sit down and look at the Sunday paper that I never read this morning. I have some dark rhum over ice in a glass and I am sipping along as I read about yet more accusations of official plunder of hundreds of millions of pesos from the public purse. If it wasn't so common place, it would be aggravating, as it is, it is just sad.

Ann sits down next to me. She takes a sip of my drink and makes a face. Ann doesn't drink. Why did she even try it? She knows she will not like it. Lewis, I need to say something. Lilian know and so you will hear. Better I tell you.

I am not liking the sound of it, and I take a stiff belt of the rhum and signal Ann to continue.

I am sick.

That much I already know? What is the problem?

Cancer. I have a cancer.

How long have you known?

Before I leave I know something wrong. I find for sure it is cancer three months ago.

What type, Ann?

A breast cancer. Lewis, I have lumps before. You know, little cysts. They not cancer, so I think that is what this is. I am wrong. They operate two months ago, but doctor say, too late. It spread too much.

Jeezus, Ann. What do you mean too late?

I dying Lewis.

Are you sure there is nothing we can do.

Yes, I sure. I check. Doctor say is met..tas..tesize? I do not know, he say it all through my body but moving slow.

How long do we have, Ann?

Maybe four month, maybe less, maybe more. Bahala na.²

Shit. OK, what can we do to make it longer?

Wala³. So Lewis, you will marry Noime, if that what the two of you want. I am happy you not be alone.

I just take Ann in my arms and hold her. I have her back, only to watch her go. I am glad she is here. It would be a lot worse, if she had to go through this alone.

Who else knows, Ann?

Wala pa.⁴

Well, we better tell everyone. Rumors are not good.

Lewis? Do we have to do this?

Ann, think. Is there any other smart way?

No. You right.

This is not supposed to be. I am not supposed to outlive my young wife. But what is supposed to be, does not change reality. Reality sucks. I quickly call the family together in the Sala. There is no good way to tell people about such a thing. But all except Maricris and her brood, can see there is something very wrong with Ann. Ann sits silent, resigned to this meeting but unwilling to speak. It must be done, she agrees to that, but I am the one to tell all of them.

If I do not tell you something now, you will hear rumor and maybe bad information from tsismis. It is best you know the truth. Ann, is very ill. The illness, a breast cancer, has progressed too far to be treated. Ann is dying. We cannot stop that from happening. She is going to need all our help and love. I expect all of us to keep silent and not talk about this outside the house. No one else needs to know about how Ann is doing. Are there any questions?

Tita, are you in pain?

Yes, little one, but I have pills and that stops the pain, at least for now.

Before anyone else can ask a question, Maricris stops all future conversation. If you have any questions, ask Angeli. She will find out from Ann, if it is something Ann feels you can know. It is wrong to ask her here! Lewis, what you thinking? I am sorry Ate. Your husband is without common sense!

Thank you, friend. I am tired. I want to lie down. Have we switched rooms?

Lyla, who is crying, speaks up, Opo, I have all your things back in your real bedroom. The one I learn has always been yours all these years. I finish. You can go there now.

Thank you, child. You are a good girl.

Ann gets up slowly and leaves, Angeli following closely behind. The meeting is over and I just want to crawl under the sheets and not come out.

§ § §

Four months. Four months in which I have rued every day as it has passed. I have cursed each sunrise and sunset. Each day, I pray that Ann will not have more pain. That she can manage, and manage some semblance of personal dignity as long as possible. Ann lives, so far. She is in a bad way, but she lives. These last four months have caused the rest of us to put away any petty issues and meld together into a cohesive household. There is a mutual support system functioning. Each of us has bad days, watching Ann's progress.

Today is unusual. It is a day in which my attention is forcefully removed from my wife as I am to be interviewed tomorrow, by the Bureau of Immigration, at the Manila Office, in relation to my application for naturalization. It means flying to Manila today, spending the night, going for the interview tomorrow, and then flying home the next day. I am too concerned to be worried about the interview. I am angry that I have to leave Ann's side. I am being greedy but I want every minute of every day I can be with her. Even if all it means is I hear her breathing. I want it. When I would tell Ann to come home, time after time, I had not done it because of anything except for the deep and incredibly strong love and passion I have for her.

I had sought this naturalization because of fear of what Ann might do. I never thought I would need it as a widower, which I will be. I do need the status now, as inheritance of property, to non-Filipino spouses, is a bad deal. I could find a way to stay here, but without the home we have lived in for years. Once I achieve the Philippine citizenship, I can, and will inherit the property and home. I need it and am angry, as all get out that I do need it. It pisses me off.

The interview goes Ok. There is no problem with the language portion which is what stops a lot of guys from succeeding. They tell me, that I will probably be OK, and get the citizenship. Finally, they are done with me, and I go back to the hotel, to spend another night away from Ann. I just want to be back home with my wife.

§ § §

§ § §

Chapter 40