A rose by any other name.

Analyn is sitting on the terrace. She is not coming in. I suspect I know why. Just how does she walk into the house, the home, she shares with Joy2x, with her new lover? I have every reason to believe they are lovers, the way they are holding each other's hands. Each afraid that the other will simply disappear into the ether if they should let go.

I take a deep breath, open the front door and venture out onto the terrace. I am not real good at this shit, but I seem to own the role, never the less. Good morning Analyn. What brings you and your friend to your home so early?

Gerlyn's mother and father kick us out last night. We stay outside the gate all night until you all wake up.

Why didn't you ring the doorbell on the gate post?

I not want to see Joy2x. I not want to go in! What we do?

Ah, I see. Well, you might as well see Joy2x now, anyway. Because you will see her at school. It is better if you do it here. As to what happens and where you go, I need some time to think about it. And... I suppose I need to ask the two of you some questions. OK?

Gerlyn panics and tries to pull Analyn off the terrace and back to the gate. Analyn holds on tight and refuses to move, telling her new love that this is OK. They are safe. Gerlyn is shaking. Analyn is holding on to her.

Look, you girls need food, a shower, a bed and clothing. Analyn, take Gerlyn to my room. You can use the bathroom there. I will have Lyla bring you some food and clothing. Eat in the room. Laarni is sleeping there, but that will not be a problem for you. Get a good sleep. You have your cell phone, right? She raises her eyebrows. When you awaken, text me and I will come into the room and we can talk about plans for the future. I just have two questions before you go inside. Analyn, are you just getting to know Gerlyn, or is this more a serious commitment? I ask, because if I need just to get Gerlyn back to her family and get you back into our family, it is one thing. If the two of you are really attached to each other and intend to stay together, then the plans need to be different. So, which is it? How serious is this?

Sir? Gerlyn and me, we love each other. Truly. We stay together.

Analyn, is Gerlyn a lesbian or Bi?

Sir?

Oh, Analyn, you know damned well what that means. Do you know?

Sir, I do not know. I think she is like me, but I not really know.

Well, you had better learn that before you make lots of plans. Do you understand?

Sir! What if it is the Bi thing?

Then you may have the same problem in the future that you have now. It is best you deal with that at the beginning.

How I find this out? I no ask Joy2x!

All through this, Gerlyn is looking lost and confused.

I will send Angeli to you, when you wake up. OK? OK, one more question. What happens with your parents, Gerlyn? Are they going to come looking for you?

A very sullen, Hindi, was the response.

Why? Do you think they do not love you?

They say I act against God and should never come back. They not look for me.

Do you really love Analyn, or is this just a really good friendship?

How I know?

Good question. I don't know, so don't try to answer it. Let me ask this, have you ever had sex with a boy?

No!

Why?

Mother say, I do that only after I marry! No sex before!

So what you are doing with Analyn is not sex?

Sir?

Analyn, did you have sex with Gerlyn?

Opo.

Gerlyn, what do you think happened when Analyn touched you?

She make me feel good.

But that was not sex?

Opo. Not sex.

I see. Girls, go inside and do as I said.

The look I get from Analyn as the girls enter the house, was everything I expected to see. Analyn knows she has screwed up in a multiplicity of ways. She understands she has caused what may be irreparable damage to Gerlyn and made a mess of things for herself. I feel sorry for the girl, but I am not sure how much can be done to unwind this rats nest

Lyla is standing in the kitchen and watches the two girls walk through and over towards my bedroom. I get a look of curiosity from my pregnant charmer. I signal that I will explain in just a second. Once I hear the door to the bedroom close, I walk over to Lyla.

It is unclear if your sister has found her new love or really messed up. It is not at all clear that this girl is a lesbian. Or if she is really even Bi. She is too innocent. They were outside the gate all night. The girl's parents kicked them out. Get them some food, some clothing, and towels for the CR. And then leave them alone. They need to sleep.

Yes, Sir! Sir? Thank you for being good to Analyn, Sir.

Lyla scoops up some rice and left over ampalaya with egg from last night along with two glasses with a bottle of Sprite before walking off to my bedroom. I look for my coffee cup, only to realize that I had finished my second cup. I decide to make another small pot. Some things seem to require coffee. When Lyla re-emerges, she informs me that she got the clothing from Moon's room. She didn't want to let Joy2x know that Analyn was back. That was, clearly the best choice. The fact that I didn't need to give Lyla guidance on the matter, is no surprise to me.

Sir, why they get thrown out if the girl not a lesbian?

Oh, I didn't say she wasn't, I said she does not know what a lesbian is. She does not know what lesbian sex is and she does not know that she was having sex last night.

Really? She have sex with Analyn and not know it sex?

It would seem so.

She like girls though, correct?

Maybe. She likes girls as friends, but it is not clear she wants a girl as a lover instead of a boy.

Oh, No! Analyn not know this?

No. She did not. She never asked. She just seduced the girl and assumed everything else.

OMG!

Yes, OMG, so it is a mess.

Truly! What you do now?

I am not sure. I am thinking about it. I will have Angeli talk to the girl later. In the meantime, I told them to eat, shower and then sleep.

Good plan, Sir.

Thank you, Lyla.

Sir, I not speak to Iay about 'Daddy.' I try today.

OK, thank you.

Where is she?

Iay is in Joy2x's room.

Talaga? Double OMG!

Lyla wanders off. She has much to do this morning as her mother and Angeli have left for the palengki. There is nothing much I really can do until we get more clarity regarding Gerlyn's sexual identity. It's early yet, but I pour some brandy into the coffee, before I start this next cup. Joyx2 is going to appear sometime this morning while all of this is unresolved and unfolding. I can't keep it from her and there is little I can tell her that will not cause her immense distress. She will want to support and comfort Analyn, and that is not what Analyn will want

The brandied coffee cup is halfway down when rather than getting into bed, Analyn, freshly showered, appears and sits by me. I am stupid. How come you know and I not know?

Know what?

Gerlyn. She is not lesbian. She just lonely. Her family not like us here. They very religious. Always, Jesus this, Jesus that, God will judge, bad people going to hell. No one hug her. No one kiss. She has no friends because her family say they all from the devil. Then I say, take me to your home. She no want that. I make her. Now see what I do? They kick her out and she not lesbian.

How are you sure she is not lesbian. You two had sex, correct?

Yes, Sir.

She liked it?

Yes, Sir. But she now say I made her do an evil thing. Sex with girls is wrong. God will punish her.

Analyn, that does not mean she is not lesbian. It means she has been taught that lesbians are evil. If she is lesbian, then if that is not fixed, she will have a very unhappy life.

What we do, Sir?

Well, we still don't know what her sexual identity is. Angeli will help us learn that, I hope. If she is lesbian, we may need Joy2x's help.

No!

Yes, Analyn. However, that is only if she is a lesbian. We do not know that yet. Now, go back and get some rest.

She say I must not touch her!

So don't. Just get some rest. The bed is big enough.

Yes, Sir.

I am finishing my second cup of brandied coffee, when Maricris and Angeli return loaded down with bags. They are looking around and if they are looking for signs of Analyn and Gerlyn, they aren't seeing any. I give them a good hour to sort out what needs attention from the shopping before pulling Angeli aside and asking for her assistance. Clearly engaging Maricris in this would not be a good idea. Angeli takes it all in with the aplomb that I have come to expect from her these days. Five minutes after I have briefed her, she reports that both girls are fast asleep. She will deal with it when they awaken.

So much for a quiet Saturday with my girls. I feel like a juggler, trying to keep all the balls in the air. It doesn't get any better when Joy2x and Iay stroll into the Sala an hour later. I give them a big smile and ask if they have had a pleasant evening. I get a snicker from Joy2x and eyebrows up from Iay. I am about to ask Joy2x to sit with me when Lyla calls out to Iay, and asks her to come out to the dirty kitchen. Lyla is proving herself to be indispensable. As Iay exits the room, I pat the couch and Joy2x sits down. Boss, that was a dirty trick you played on me. But thank you.

You are welcome. So now we are about to have a confusing and difficult conversation in which I need the adult, serious and good partner I know you are, not the heart broken lover. Can you do that for me?

Boss?

Well, can you?

OK, Boss. What's happening?

I go over all the events of the day. Joy2x listens intently, asking very few questions and sitting quietly most of the time. When I finish, she asks if she can recap it back to me to make sure she has it correctly. That sounds like a good idea to me and so she does it, without missing a stitch.

Boss, I know Gerlyn's family. They are bad, mean people. They treat Gerlyn and their other children very cruelly. Before I did not think Gerlyn is lesbian. Now I am sure of it.

You may be right, but we do not know and you are not the best person in this case to figure that out.

Sige, sige.¹ You are correct. Angeli will do a good job. It is the best choice. What can I do, Boss?

Right now, I am not sure. So nothing right now. It is just that I did not want to keep this from you. That would have been mean.

Yes, you did the right thing. Boss, does she need any of her stuff?

She will later, but not now. Joy2x, whether Gerlyn is the one for Analyn or not, I think it is time to let go of the girl. Do you understand?

Oh, Boss, last night I would not. But you sent Iay to me. And we talk a lot about losing a loved one and pain. We talk about how things must end sometimes. We talk about people turning bad because they cannot let go. Iay think her mother became bad because she wanted what she not get. I do not want to turn into a Belen. Iay is young but she taught me a good lesson. Yes Analyn needs to find her own plan. Her own path. Di ba?²

Yes that's exactly right.

Sending Iay to me was good in that way. But, Boss... two eggplants? Bastos ka!

Joy2x, spend the night with me tonight.

Thank you. Yes, I want that very much.

Good. We hug, kiss and leave it there. She to her concerns and me to a few hours of respite before the next hurdles.

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Analyn exits the bedroom about 1PM, looking a little more rested, cleaner and not a bit cheerier. The purpose of her visit is to gather more rice and advise us that they are both awake. I call Angeli over and tell her to take the rice and some other food into Gerlyn. I instruct Analyn to stay out of my bedroom. Analyn looks panicky. Guessing what the issue is, I address it straight on. Joy2x knows you are here. She also knows you need to end your relationship with her and she only wishes the best for you. There will be no problems Analyn. She loves you enough to know she isn't the right one for you.

Analyn just crumbles. The couch catches her and the tears are real and torrential. I move over to her and ask her if I can hug her or if she would prefer one of her sisters or mother. You, she says. And so, unlikely as it might have seemed just a day ago, it is me who provides consolation to the girl. After a while the tears stop and she posits, Maybe Joy2x will know if Gerlyn is lesbian.

She might, but I do not think Gerlyn would feel comfortable with her. I sent Angeli to find out. Analyn looks at me and seems to take that in for a second, before raising her eyebrows once. Yes, you are right, Sir. Angeli is a good one to find out that she is not lesbian. I make a big mistake.

We all make big mistakes. Is there some reason why you are so special that you are better than the rest of us?

Analyn looks at me again. It takes her a bit to parse that. No, Sir, I am not better. Maybe I am far worse.

No, you are not. You are lesbian and finding a good mate is something most girls your age never have to worry about. You are still young. Finding a lesbian mate at your age is going to be close to impossible. Girls your age normally are just now starting to discover who they will become. You learned years earlier than most. That will make it hard for you, but I want to be supportive of you as best I can.

Can I stay here, Sir, if I do not sleep with Joy2x?

Yes, for now, but you will need to find your own way. This house is not right for you for very long.

Yes, Sir, I know this. I will be the only one without a ring!

Yes, that is exactly correct.

So, Sir, is it OK if I get some things from my room?

Yes, of course.

Analyn seems relatively composed as she ventures back into what just yesterday was her undisputed bedroom. I realize that I have not had any lunch and am rummaging through the fridge when Maricris pushes me away and tells me she will make me some pancit canton with egg. It takes a bit to make it... and by the time I have finished it, Angeli is sitting by my side.

Mahal, I cannot help this Gerlyn. You must go to her. She is crying. I cannot help her to stop. I just make it worse. I afraid what she will do.

Why? What has happen?

I do not know!

Do you know if she is a lesbian?

Ah, Yes, I do learn that. She is not a lesbian. Not at all.

But she had sex with Analyn.

Yes, because her parents never tell her what sex is. They tell her it is bad. But Analyn make her feel good, so she think that this is not sex. I explain what sex is and that is when the problem starts. She is what you call... his-torical?

Hysterical?

Yes. That it.

OK. You try to calm her down?

Yes but now when a woman touch her, she think this is sex! Her parents say if she have sex before marriage she will go to hell. No way out. It over. She going to hell. She screams that over and over. She will not listen to me. She listen to you because you are not a girl. She know you are important man. She say that Analyn calls you fair and honest. She say when they come here you were good to her and not bad to Analyn. You didn't hit Analyn. Her father would hit her. So you can fix this. I cannot!

What did you tell her sex was?

I tell her she has three normal sex things and sometimes we use one more. She say what are they. I tell her, her pussy, her two breasts and sometimes her backside, but that is not regular. I tell her that we can rub these places or where there are holes, we can put things in. I tell her we can lick these places with our mouth. All this is sex.

Do you know what Analyn did with her?

Yes, Analyn sucked her pussy and taught Gerlyn how to suck Analyn's pussy. They also sucked nipples. She liked this, but she not think it is sex.

So why do you think she is not lesbian?

Girls do not excite her. Boys do. Hurry! She may hurt herself. You must go now!

Yep, you got it. This lovely virginal, heterosexual fourteen-year-old has decided that she is damned to hell and the pregnant mistress of a horny old goat has decided that only the horny old goat can solve this problem. What part of insane is this? I am saying 'down boy' as I head to my own bedroom where Gerlyn sits alone.

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Chapter 48