Paying Attention {tim4or5} (MF M+F+ poly cons interr bi)
part 1 of the Paying Attention series

This story contains sexually explicit material.
Please e-mail comments to twalden4 at juno dot com with ASSTR in the subject line.
Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.

Technical note: A gasp is a rapid intake of breath. In this story, it also means a rapid expelling of breath, since it is close to the sound I mean. Sigh, grunt, groan, pant, and scream don't work.


Paying Attention


Linda got back to the apartment first. She got out the big pot, measured the rice, and started cutting up carrots and onions. When she heard a key in the door, she walked over and wrapped herself around Paul as soon as he got it closed. His lips sucked hungrily at hers as he ran his hands over her back muscles and through her short red hair. She felt his penis pressed against her belly and pressed her breasts tighter against his ribs, then leaned back to look up into his face. She loved his black eyes and dark brown skin, and the strength in his hands as he held her. Their lips greeted each other again, and then he followed her as she walked back to the kitchen.

She measured the water into the pot, put it on medium heat, and put in the frozen broccoli and corn. When she heard a key in door, she walked over and wrapped herself around Mark as soon as he got it closed. Their tongues flirted as he felt her spine, shoulder blades, and ribs. She pressed his buttocks forward into her and felt his arms tighten around her, then leaned back. Her blue eyes looked up into his, with the mottled green around the brown centers. She squeezed him against her, and then he followed her as she walked back to the kitchen. He greeted Paul and sat down at the table beside him.

Linda drained two cans of kidney beans and added them to the pot, along with the carrots and onions. When she heard a key in door, she walked over and wrapped herself around Jose as soon as he got it closed. She melted against him as he kissed her and massaged the flesh of her buttocks and the curve of her lower back, his hands flowing like water over her. She held on to him, then leaned back to look into his questioning eyes. She smiled, and his hands ran up her back and held her head as he kissed her again, and then he followed her as she walked back to the kitchen. He greeted Paul and Mark and sat down at the table with them.

Linda added garlic, cumin, ginger, salt, pepper, cayenne, and oil to the pot. When she heard a key in to door, Mark and Jose got up and walked over. Mark took the cake box from Judy and closed the door as Jose wrapped himself around her. Her knee came up slightly as she felt him thrust against her, and she gripped him tightly. Their tongues churned as their lips ground against each other, and then Judy leaned back and her brown Asian eyes looked into his. He ran his hands through her straight black hair. She kissed his nose, and he carried the cake into the kitchen as Judy and Mark wrapped themselves around each other.

Mark felt her hot skin beneath his hands and her shirt. Her small breasts didn't hold them apart, and her nipples poked into him. Their kiss was deep and slow, their hands gently exploring each other, their bodies familiar and new. They leaned back and smiled slightly at each other, then turned and walked together into the kitchen.

Linda had turned up the heat under the pot, and now added the rice, covered it, and turned the heat down to low. She set the timer and sat down as Paul stood up and wrapped himself around Judy. It was a lingering kiss as they held each other close, taking their time and acknowledging each other's bodies. Mark smiled as he walked over and got out greens, zucchini and mushrooms for the salad. They were out of sprouts.

When all the food was ready, the five of them sat down, held hands around the table, and thanked the earth and the goddess. As they ate, they talked about work and politics and friends. Later, after Linda and Paul had finished washing up, everyone went into the living room and spread out on the love seat and floor pillows. It was monday, so no one had classes or meetings. They played flute, violin, piano, guitar, and frame drum, sang alone and in harmony, danced, and did tai chi, yoga, and massage.

Two bedrooms had large beds, but when Paul and Linda joined hands and headed for the one with the kingsize bed, Jose helped Judy up and they followed, collecting Mark and turning out lights as they went.

Paul kissed Linda as he undid her belt and pants. She had her arms around his neck as he slid his hand into her underwear and ran his fingers through her hair, then down to caress the smoothness between her legs.

Jose and Mark were sitting on either side of Judy on the bed, each holding a breast, their lips working on an ear, a cheek, a corner of her eye, an edge of her jaw. She turned to meet Mark's lips, and Jose's hand moved down, undid her pants, pulled out her shirt, and slid down her belly to her hair. As he nuzzled the back of her neck, her legs parted to give him further access. His fingers continued downward, parted her folds, and found the wetness and warmth within. They stroked behind the clitoris, rubbed the edges of the fold, collected wetness, and came out to anoint the organ. Judy squirmed.

Paul felt the wetness between Linda's legs. He knelt down and lowered her pants. She stepped out of them. He moved his lips over the front of her underwear and felt the roughness beneath. His fingers slid around to the fabric over her buttocks and kneaded the flesh beneath. They moved up to her hips and hooked over the edges of the cloth while his tongue sought stray hairs and plastered them to her thighs. His hands pulled down to her ankles and exposed her to his eyes and lips. His hands slid up her legs and sides, pulling up her shirt as she raised her hands over her head. He stood up to complete his work and pulled it around her chin and over her head. He kissed her as her hands sought his belt.

Judy stood slightly so Jose could slide her underwear and pants off, then sat back down so he could untangle her feet. Mark slid his hand up under her shirt. She raised her arms, and Mark pulled it off. Then she lay back on the bed, pulling Mark with her. Jose's lips and tongue took over what his fingers had started. When Judy needed more air, Mark's mouth moved down to her breasts and nipples, soft and brown and hard. Jose sucked on her clitoris and lapped up her fluids as her breathing became deeper and faster. Mark paused so he wouldn't distract her as she pumped against Jose's lips and tongue. Then they held her and felt her tighten and spasm with a loud groan. She kissed Mark fiercely as Jose quickly got out of his clothes.

Paul watched Linda insert her diaphragm, and then he lay down next to her and kissed her as his hand sought out her breast, her belly, her roughness, her wetness. Her tongue worked with his as she held him against her. She reached down and stroked his penis gently. She felt him pulse in her hand. His mouth moved down to her breast and her erect pink nipple, tasted, then sucked eagerly. His fingers stoked around inside her, then out to the clitoris. She held the base of his penis and stroked more firmly. He moved to the other breast and sucked and nibbled.

Judy inserted her diaphragm, then moved up on the bed and parted her legs. Jose came up and guided himself into her slowly. He felt her all around him. He felt her damp skin against his chest. He felt a tingling in his balls as he moved slowly in and out of her. She lay still with her hands on his shoulders, her heart rate slowing as she enjoyed the feeling of him inside her. Mark lay naked next to them and watched, sharing their pleasure.

Linda pulled Paul up onto her and guided him inside her. Paul entered with slow shallow thrusts. She was warm and moist around him, and her flesh pulled in and out with his movement. Her wetness increased, her flesh slid more easily against him, and he moved more deeply into her. Keeping his movements small, he thrust farther in, until with each stroke he was pressing against her crotch. He stayed in her most of the way, looking down at her looking up at him, blue eyes and black.

Before long, Judy started moving with Jose. She felt the excitement moving out from her crotch and filling her whole body once more. She relaxed and opened herself up to the flow of sensation. Jose felt the energy reaching out to him from Judy and, as best he could, let his mind flow into his whole body. He felt all his muscles moving rhythmically. Through his hands, arms, chest, thighs, and penis he felt Judy's muscles moving underneath her skin in coordination with his. The feedback loop closed, and they became one being moving through a timeless non-space. Their movements slowed slightly and became gentler as the energy built. Then Jose felt the energy collect in Judy's belly, rush through her body, and expand out from her shoulders like a great set of fiery wings, and she felt it collect and rush through him, until they were surrounded by a great shimmering ball of energy. The more they let go, the more slowly it faded.

Mark could feel the energy backlash as it washed over him. When Jose slid out of Judy and nestled against her side, he nestled against her other side. She turned her head and smiled at him. She kissed him, put her arm around him, and held both men, while Paul and Linda moved together next to them.

Soon, Judy turned and kissed Jose, then let him go. She turned and held Mark to her. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. She smiled. She found his lips, and she brushed her hand through his hair and lightly over his still dry body. She was still catching her breath as he tasted the salt on her neck and her shoulder. He reached for a towel and blotted her chest and shoulders, her neck and face, her arms, and her belly, thighs, and legs. He rolled her over and dried the bed as best he could. He sat on her buttocks and massaged her shoulders and back. He worked briefly on her lower back and buttocks, and kissed her between the shoulder blades. There was still the taste of salt. He lay down again next to her. She kissed him and reached down to feel his hard penis and balls that had rubbed against her as he worked. He rubbed against her again. She rolled onto her back and he moved on top of her, thrusting gently against the hair at her crotch. She opened to him more, and he slid in easily. He kissed her and moved within her slowly. She smiled and held him to her.

Jose turned away from Judy and Mark to watch Paul's dark body moving on top of Linda, in unison with the rhythmic arching and tightening of her buttocks. They held each other's eyes as their breathing deepened with the mounting sensation. Paul was fascinated by the blue gray eyes that looked back at him as he felt Linda's breasts pressed against him, her belly and pelvis thrusting, and his penis deep inside her. She felt his arms on her ribs and his hands on her back as she looked up into his eyes of solid black. She felt the growing heat inside her, the tingling that spread through her entire body and kept building until it overflowed as rhythmic pulses and gasps. Still she held his gaze, giving him her joy, until she could feel him coming inside her. They kept going, holding each other, then gradually slowed to a stop. They both turned to look at Jose, and he slid over and held them both. Paul's head dropped to Linda's neck, one leg moved from between hers, and he sank to her side, one arm stretched across her chest beneath Jose's. They lay there, rocked by the motion of Judy and Mark.

Paul kissed Linda, then got up and walked around to the other side of the bed. Linda turned to Jose and kissed him. He moved his hand up between her breasts and held her cheek. She held his lips with hers as she rolled to her side and moved her hand behind his shoulder. She pressed him against her breasts, then pushed him onto his back as she kissed down his neck, his chest, his navel, his belly. She pulled gently on his pubic hair and kissed he base of his penis. She licked up the underside and tasted Linda. She slurped up all the flavor she could with her lips and tongue from all sides of it. It expanded under her touch. She took the shaft in her hand, pulled back the foreskin, and slowly stroked as her tongue tasted the head and the opening at the top. Her lips sucked gently, seeking anything he hadn't left in Linda. She sat back, put one leg over him, and lowered herself onto him until their pubic hair meshed together. She moved up and down, riding him, and felt him move inside her and under her. He put his hands on her hips and watched her red pubic hair going up and down on him and her brown freckles spreading up to her bouncing breasts. Her pink nipples were extended.

Mark felt Judy around him as he moved within her. Her hips moved against his as he moved in and out to the rhythm of her breathing, pulling out as she drew a breath, pushing all the way in as she exhaled. As they breathed and moved in unison, he felt the organs within him, his lungs expanding and contracting, his heart beating, his stomach and liver, his guts massaged by their movement, his penis sliding in and out of Judy, the flesh inside her vagina moving against him, her hips thrusting in time to his, her belly rocking, her lungs expanding and contracting in his arms, the pulse of her throat against his chin. He kissed the corner of her jaw. The sensation built and then flowed through both of them. Mark felt Judy relax once again in his arms. He moved off her and kissed her. She rolled him on his side and snuggled up to his back with her arm around him.

Paul moved over and snuggled up to Judy's back. She wriggled happily in greeting. He moved her hair and kissed the back of her neck. His hand moved over her shoulder and the side of her breast, down her ribs and side. He held her hip and felt the soft warm skin under his hand, with the edge of the pelvis beneath. His hand followed the curve of the small of her back and the roundness of her buttock. It slid between her legs from behind, and his fingers found her wetness. Judy drew up her knees slightly and squeezed Mark. Paul guided his penis into her, moved slowly in and out a few times, then lay still.

Linda was exciting herself sliding up and down on Jose. He pressed his fingers into the hair on her belly to help her along. She felt herself getting closer and lay down on him so she could press herself into him more firmly. He stroked her back and shoulder blades as she held on to him, her breasts squeezed against his chest. He moved his hands down to her buttocks and felt the muscles within rippling as she worked, tightening as she squeezed down on to him, relaxing as her thigh muscles pulled her back up. The muscles in her vagina pulled on him in both directions. With a few more thrusts, she brought herself off, her wetness running down Jose's penis, and she kept going until she felt him coming inside her.

Linda climbed off Jose, scooted over, and snuggled her back against Mark, bringing Jose to keep her front warm. She had Jose's back pressed against breasts, but Mark could slip his hand in and feel the bottoms of them. He slid his hand between her breasts and felt her heart beating. Feeling Judy behind him with Paul inside her, having just seen Linda and Jose finish, and feeling Linda against him in front, Mark was getting another erection. Linda could feel it, and raising her leg, she guided him inside her, then put her arm back around Jose.

Mark felt the bed move as Paul pushed forward into Judy, relaxed back, and pushed forward again. He felt Judy begin to push back against Paul as Paul pushed forward into her. He felt Paul's hand come around in front of Judy and reach down to her rough curly hair. He heard Judy's gasp as Paul found the softness beneath. Mark gripped Linda's hip and pulled her to him as he started moving with Judy. Linda hugged Jose to her as she started to move in response to Mark sliding in and out of her. Carefully, to avoid slipping out of Linda, Mark moved backward and forward with the others. They were like the swinging of a giant pendulum, or the slow breathing of some enormous beast. Linda moved her hand down to Jose's penis and stroked him up and down with the movement of the bed.


Paul

My parents taught high school on St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. They moved to the States when I was in grade school, and I went to high school in suburban New England and college in Boston. I was required to take piano lessons from an early age, but gave it up when I started college to concentrate on math and computer science. I had learned good study habits from my parents and had always been interested in math, in how numbers fit together, so I did well. I liked computers for the same reason I liked numbers, no matter how you did something you always got the same result. They made sense, I could understand them. They didn't argue, or get hurt feelings, or try to get me to do things I didn't want to do. I didn't make them nervous, and they weren't afraid of me. Their judgment was always impersonal and just. I could depend on them. There was a beauty in their abstraction that I couldn't find in the real world.

In my senior year I went back to the piano. I hadn't liked being forced to take lessons and practice, but I liked the instrument and what I could do with it. I was good, but would never be great. I didn't have the coordination. Beyond a certain speed, my fingers just didn't do what they were supposed to. But that was ok. Now, in addition to the beauty of Bach and Brahms, I could play rock and jazz without feeling guilty. I continued to do well in my studies, but didn't try to be at the top of my class. It wasn't always safe for me to stand out from the crowd.

I dated some and had girl friends occasionally, but they either weren't interested in a deeper relationship or wanted to run my life. So I got what I needed and got out. It wasn't enough.

After graduation I got a job with a medical technology firm, helping to design instruments that would help people and save lives. Though I had left my mother's church, I still felt it was important to try to make the world a better place. I had to live here, too. Others didn't seem to feel this way. They either saw religion as a sham, or as something that shouldn't interfere with the rest of their lives. So I continued to go pretty much my own way, socializing with the people at work but not getting close to anyone.

Then, when I was consulted about the technical details of one of our products for a journal article, I met Linda.


Linda

In middle school I read Drawing Down the Moon pretty much by accident. My family never went to church, and the idea that I could make up my own religion and holidays using ancient myths and traditions appealed to me. Casting the circle, calling the corners, invoking the goddess. I didn't want to use magic to do anything beyond a little healing, I just wanted it to be there. I read The Spiral Dance and other books. I wrote rituals and stories and songs. I was fascinated by how words and sounds fit together. I joined the chorus and took singing lessons. I went to workshops and took classes on hand drumming. I studied herbs and alternative healing. I started doing yoga. I learned some massage. I liked thinking I was part of a hidden network of mystical groups and solitaries.

In college I studied English, biology, and physics. I wanted to understand the forces and patterns behind words and things. I joined different pagan groups, but they were all either too flaky or too political for me. Running around naked in the woods or having sex with other women was fine, but I wanted more. And I refused to give up men.

After graduation I got a job as an assistant editor on a small medical journal. Though western medicine carefully ignored much of what I had been learning, I still thought spreading information about new procedures and technologies would help make the world a better place. Sometimes it was hard not the think that others viewed healing people as an unfortunate byproduct of making money. So I went to work during the day, studied alternative healing at night, socialized with my pagan friends on weekends, and did work as a massage therapist when I could find it.

Then, when I was helping with a journal article on a new diagnostic instrument, I met Paul. I hadn't known a pink shirt could look good on a man. It set off his dark skin and deep eyes. There was something almost frightening about his eyes. They were so dark you couldn't see a boundary between the pupil and iris. He was tall and not too broad, and his hands were graceful and strong. I don't know how he seemed both confident and unsure of himself. We cleared up most of what we needed to, but left enough so that we could meet for lunch the next day.

We went to the lunch buffet at a nearby Indian restaurant. He noticed I didn't take any meat, and he said he had always been put off by the fat and the grease associated with it. I said I avoided it for health and environmental reasons. It takes one pound of grain to make one pound of bread, and twenty pounds of grain to make one pound of beef. He said he hadn't known that, and that he felt it was important to try to make to world a better place. I told him about seeing the earth as the goddess, and that we are all part of her. He said he thought maybe there was only one soul, and that we all share it, that we are all really the same person. In hurting another person, we hurt ourselves.

Two weeks later Paul took me to a concert by the Anonymous 4. It was ancient Latin chant in a church that wasn't Unitarian. At first I was skeptical, and then I was blown away by the simplicity and complexity of the voices of the four women weaving around each other and joining in unison. It was almost Pagan.

We came back to my apartment afterward. He took off his shoes and sat on the floor gracefully. He didn't seem offended when I offered him herb tea, and he drank it as if it was what he preferred. He said he was glad he had met someone with whom he could share his music and who believed the same things he did, even if it was for different reasons. Then he leaned over and kissed me. Once, tentatively, and very gently. He sat back a little and looked in my eyes, as he did when he talked to me, with a serious look on his face. I kissed him, longer, and added a little tongue. His came out to meet mine, and the tips brushed against each other, before we both sat back and looked at each other. Then we both leaned forward and kissed each other, seriously. His lips sucked on mine. Our tongues came out and circled each other, and I slid mine along the side of his. Paul's hand came up behind my shoulder. I pressed my breasts against him.

A little later I set the tea mugs on the counter, and we lay back on the floor pillows. Paul kissed me and put his hand on my breast. I felt it rubbing over my breast and nipple through the cloth of my shirt and bra. He undid the buttons down the front of my shirt and rubbed his lips over my bra and my hard nipple underneath. I pulled my bra strap and shirt down off my shoulder and exposed my breast. His warm tongue came out and slid over my breast, and his lips sucked gently on my nipple. I felt shockwaves going through me as I rubbed my hands over the soft curly hair on his head. I pulled down my bra on the other side, and he started on my other breast, his hand not letting go of the first. I squirmed under his attention. His hand slid down my belly and carefully pulled down the zipper of my jeans. His hand slipped inside and over my panties, until I felt him holding my crotch and gently squeezing in time to my movement. Then his hand came back and slid under the elastic, and he ran his fingers through my hair. I undid my pants. His hand slid down farther, and I parted my legs for him. One finger dipped inside, and I could feel and hear how slippery I had become. His finger collected some of the wetness and drew in up to my clitoris. I felt an electric shock, and my body spasmed under his hand. His finger went back for more wetness, and a second joined it. They churned around briefly inside me, then came back up and stroked my clitoris slowly and firmly. I gasped and pulled his lips back up to mine, sucking on them greedily. As his tempo increased, I felt the sensation starting to build inside me. My breathing deepened until I had to let go of his lips once again. His tongue dug into the side of my neck behind the muscle, and his fingers kept up their rhythm as I kept thrusting against them. I felt sweat break out on my face and chest as the sensation built under the pressure of his fingers and tongue, until I gasped and spasmed violently.

Soon I felt Paul's hands on my waist and lifted my hips so he could pull my pants and underwear down and off. He kissed my hip, my belly, my breast. I sat up and took off my shirt and bra. He watched me as he took off his pants and unbuttoned his shirt. I lay down and watched him take off his shirt and underwear. He was black all over and uncircumcised. He reached into his pants pocket, pulled out a condom, and carefully unrolled it over himself. I spread my legs for him. He knelt between them, and I felt him slide into me easily. We put our arms around each other and kissed as our hips started moving slowly together. He moaned softly. He kept the rhythm slow and thrust deep within me. I savored the feeling. Our hips pressed firmly together, parted, and reunited. His breath drew in as he slid partway out, and was expelled as the muscles of his belly contracted and he came back all the way in. I matched my breathing to his and concentrated on staying relaxed so I could feel the energy flow throughout my entire body, from my fingers to my toes. I gripped his penis tightly with my vagina as I pulled away from him and pushed back onto him. I felt his penis inside me pressing into sensitive spots, getting me excited again as our pace gradually increased. His breath got deeper as he still held himself back, waiting for me. My breath got deeper as I once again approached the edge and went over, with him following close behind.

His head drooped, and he kissed the top of my shoulder softly. He lifted his body off mine and sank to my side, his arm over my chest. I kissed his eyebrow and tasted salt.


Mark

There was a girl I liked in high school. She used to come over and talk to me sometimes, but I couldn't say anything to her. The person she went out with was in the class ahead us. She ended up marrying his older brother.

I had a girl friend in college for a couple of months. I used to fall asleep on top of her and wake up when she tried to get out from under me. I would want to have sex again, and the cycle might repeat. I broke up with her because I thought I didn't love her. She went back to a former boy friend.

In high school I had studied flute because it was easy to carry, I liked the flute part in Coming Back to Me, by the Jefferson Airplane, and I didn't know it was a girl's instrument. In college I studied psychology to find out what normal was, math and accounting because I liked numbers, and tai chi to deal with anxiety. After I graduated, I got a job programming financial systems and did well.

I had a disastrous affair with a woman who yelled at me. I kept trying to figure out what I could do that wasn't wrong and finally realized there wasn't anything. No matter how many times I asked her, she wouldn't tell me what she wanted me to do, but she would always tell me what I should have done. She was nice when other people were around. I managed to leave before I killed either of us.

I was asked to help with the programming on one of Paul's projects, even though it was in a different department. Then, when we were celebrating its completion, I met Linda. I sat next to her at the restaurant. She had short red hair, blue eyes, translucent skin, freckles across her face, full breasts held by the bra I could see beneath her shirt, and nipples that stood out. We talked about her yoga and my tai chi, about music and rituals as connections between people, about Games People Play and The Art of Loving, and about how relationships require work and mutual respect.

Linda called me a couple days later. She said she and Paul did not have an exclusive relationship and both saw other people sometimes. She asked me if I would like to go to a contra dance with her. I said yes. When I talked to Paul about it later, he said Linda had asked him about me, and that he liked Linda having other people in her life if they made her happy.

In the contra dance, each couple did a set of figures with each other couple as they moved up and down the line. It was a little like square dance with swings, turns, circles, lines, bounces, and weaving in and out. Everyone is supposed to change partners after each dance, but we danced every other dance together. We talked at the break. While walking around outside afterward, I kissed her. She kissed me back.

The following week Linda and I went to a small Greek restaurant and another contra dance, then back to my apartment. I offered her cranberry juice and lime seltzer, and we sat on the futon in the living room. When my hands started shaking, she took my glass from me and carried it to the kitchen, finishing hers and putting mine in the refrigerator. She came back, sat down, and put her arms around me. With the hand behind me, she massaged the middle of my back and the top of my shoulders. I put my arms around her and kissed her, still having spasms of trembling.

She pulled me up and led me to the bedroom. She undressed me. My underwear was wet. She pushed me back on the bed, took my penis in her mouth to clean it off, got what was still dribbling out, and gently cleaned the strands of fluid off my thigh with her lips and tongue. Then she stood up, and I watched as she undid her pants and lowered them to the floor, pulled her shirt over her head, undid her bra and took it off (exposing her large swaying breasts and pink nipples), hooked her thumbs over the sides of her underwear and pulled them down (exposing the red hair between her legs), and bent over to step out of them. She climbed over me and lay down next to me on the bed. She took my hand and put it between her legs, holding it there. I was shaken by another spasm of trembling. She held my head to her breast, and I sucked on her firm nipple. She paused to get out a condom and unroll it over me, and then she pulled me on top of her and guided my penis into her. She was very wet, so I didn't have to be too careful. I pushed into her and stroked slowly in and out, still shaking, but not as much. She moved under me, and my body was responding to her. Meanwhile, my brain was off on a track of its own.

Holy blank! I've got my blank inside a woman's blank again! I didn't think that was ever going to happen! Breathe. Focus. The way that can be spoken of is not the eternal way. Holy blank! It's inside her blank! I can feel it! Breathe. The way that can be spoken of is not the eternal way. Holy blank! I've got my. Breathe. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The nameless. Holy blank! She's naked! I can feel her blanks against my. The nameless is the origin of heaven and earth. Holy. The named is the mother of. Holy blank! It's right inside her blank! Focus. Mother of the myriad creatures.

And more of the same. I can't talk while I'm having sex. If I reconnect my brain to my body in order to form words, I lose my erection.

Linda was getting more excited. My body was on automatic pilot, and she no longer had to direct me. I followed her breathing with my movements. She followed my movements with her own. She took her time getting to where she wanted to go, but eventually her breathing and movements started getting faster. Then she gasped and clutched at me. I kept following her, and she kept going until she came again. She slowed down and sped up through several orgasms, then lay still. I didn't come, and I wasn't going to. I told her that she shouldn't worry about it, and that it was a problem that would fix itself. Sometimes I didn't come if I was anxious or tired, but I liked it when she did.


Judy

At the end of my second year of college I decided I didn't want to be a doctor, so I took a leave of absence and joined a commune. My parents were angry. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. Along with biology, I had studied anthropology to learn how other people lived. Now I wanted to see for myself.

There were many things I liked about the commune. People would talk about anything and tell you what they really thought. They looked you in the eye. They wandered around naked. Since there were not enough bathrooms, the doors were left open and people shared. There was a common stock of clothes kept in a separate room. Everyone worked in the restaurant. Couples would have sex in bedrooms they were sharing with other people, and nobody minded. People could have sexual relationships with more than one person without jealousy. Some people seemed able to handle up to three primaries with whom they had sex regularly. Many people had a primary plus one or more secondaries with whom they had sex occasionally. Having sex with more people was considered a good thing and encouraged. There were hurt feelings as relationships shifted, but people talked about them and tried to work them out. A group that large and that close could not afford to have people who were angry at each other. People always used condoms. There was a lot of touch, and everyone learned massage.

There were problems. The leader was an alcoholic, and no one acknowledged it. He had memory blackouts every night and developed a theory of being two different people. Drinking was considered beneficial, a way of getting into your feelings, but people seemed to know their limits and usually made it to bed without getting sick or needing help. The leader's way of using confrontation to help people with their repressions often worked, but it also often crossed the line into abuse. He was accused of rape by someone who left. There was an informal hierarchy based on how long you had been there and how well you knew and followed the group ethic. The inner circle sometimes confronted others for doing the same things they did, for anger, moods and withdrawal.

The freedom was intoxicating. I started drinking heavily. People analyzed each other and confronted each other about perceived faults. Much of it was valid. I learned how to read other people, and I learned a great deal about myself. I also learned that if a large group living in close quarters doesn't have a common religion or a long history to hold it together, it needs a domineering leader.

After nearly a year, I left. I stopped drinking and went back to school. I had decided to be a nurse. Doctors had more status, but I no longer cared about that. Nurses were the ones who actually cared for people. I started studying tai chi and Taoism to cope with the stress and to reconnect with my heritage. I found there was more to being Chinese than I had learned from my parents.

After graduation, I found a job and started trying to get my personal life back in order, without much success. I had learned to see through games, and the men I met were either too narcissistic or too conventional, though some of them were fun. Then, when I started classes with a new tai chi instructor, I met Mark. He was quiet, and we had actually been taking classes together for some time before I noticed him. While holding my ankles in a body alignment workshop our instructor had organized, he seemed both sensual and disinterested, as if he appreciated what he felt but did not need to do anything about it. When I looked down at him, he looked back up at me and smiled a little, as if we shared a secret.

After the workshop, Mark asked if I wanted to get something to eat, and we walked to a falafel place as it was getting dark. We talked about games and respect as we walked. After we got our food and sat down, we talked about looking for something we both hoped was out there but hadn't found, except he had. We found that we were both polyamorous, that we believed in responsible non-monogamy and had some experience with it. He had stumbled into it without looking for it, and had felt like he was coming home. I had seen its potential.

I stood behind him at our next class. When we did cloud hands, I watched him turn, step out, shift his weight, turn, step in, shift his weigh, while his hands circled the whole time. He had found a certain grace. After class he walked me home. We had read some of the same books, The Taoist Experience and Creativity and Taoism, and he liked Mair's translations of Lao Tzu and Chaung Tzu. I invited him in and offered him green tea, and we sat on the love seat.

We had both started meditating after we had started learning tai chi. He used his own version of great circle breathing, based on a diagram he had found in a book on Kundalini by Sannella, and on what our instructor had said about being able to feel his liver and other internal organs. I was interested and wanted to try it, so he talked me through it. We both knew some meditation techniques can be dangerous, but I knew how to be careful. Stop if I had headaches or dizziness, slow down if I started having visions, and do the sensations in the correct order. After all, I was making new pathways in my brain, as I did every time I thought, and I didn't want to short circut anything.

As I breathed in slowly, I felt the sensations in my lower back, up both sides of my spine, to the top of my head, then out across my shoulder blades, down my upper and lower arms, wrists, palms, and small to index fingers to my thumbs, then down my forehead, eyelids, cheeks, lips, gums, and teeth to the roof of my mouth. As I breathed out the sensation went down my tongue, throat, lungs, heart, stomach and liver, kidneys, and intestines to my perineum, then to my big toes, other toes, up my soles, ankles, shins, and thighs to my hips. I then started over by breathing in. I had to take extra breaths as he was describing it, but I got the idea. I liked it and found it very sensual. Before he left, he hugged me and kissed me gently.

When Mark came over to my apartment after class the following week, he gave me a copy of a book by the Dalai Lama, A Flash of Lightning in the Dark of Night. He thought Buddhism was similar to Taoism. I had read a few books about Zen and agreed that they fit together well. I had been trying his meditation during the week and asked him some questions about it. We talked about breathing and sensation. We had both been surprised, after starting to develop more sensation by doing tai chi and meditation, at how numb our backs had been. Then he touched my hand, looked into my eyes, leaned forward, and kissed me slowly.

I felt the warmth of his moist lips as they lightly caressed mine. His lips slid over mine, and I sucked at them gently. His arms came around me, and I felt his hands on my shoulder and hip. I put my hands on his sides. I had end tables instead of a coffee table, so there was nothing in the way as we turned more toward each other. As the kiss went on I felt the tip of his tongue brush against my lips. I met it with mine, and we opened our mouths a little wider. I touched his lip with my teeth and bit it gently. Our tongues probed a little farther, and I slipped by arms around to his back. We held each other more tightly. His lips moved to the corner of my mouth, and then he squeezed me once more and sat back. We looked at each other. I said that was nice, and he smiled.

I wanted to try it again, so I did. We didn't stop. I waited for him to put his hand on my breast. When he did, I reached for his crotch. Trying not to distract his hand from what it was doing, I felt his erection through his pants. It extended across the bottom of his belly toward his hip. I could feel the ridge around the head, and he seemed to be uncircumcised. That was nice. My hand moved back down to the base, and I found his balls, one slightly lower than the other. Meanwhile, he had started working on my shirt buttons. He managed them one handed, and reached inside. His fingers rubbed over my breast and brushed against my nipple. He held my breast in his hand with my nipple between two of his fingers, squeezing gently. He left my lips, and sucked on my breast. I worked on getting his zipper down, then reached inside and found the wet spot on his underwear. I slid my fingers over it and squeezed the length of his penis and his balls. I came back out and undid his belt and the button of his pants. I slid my hand into his underwear and grabbed hold. He held on to my breast while he sucked the other one. I was getting excited, and his hips had started moving.

He held up his pants, and I took off my shirt, as we headed for the bedroom. When we were naked on the bed, he kissed me and reached for my crotch. I felt his fingers go inside and his palm against my hair. I moved my hips as his fingers slid around inside, then came out and rubbed my clitoris. I held him to me and worked on his lips and tongue with my own.

Mark asked me if I wanted to try small circle sex and described it to me. I realized why he had told me about his meditation technique, and I was glad I had practiced it. He said that in addition to being sensual, small circle sex was calming and focusing in the way it directed and controlled nervous energy, and he had found it very helpful. I said was sure he had, and he gave me a strange look.

He got out a condom and put it on, then knelt between my legs and entered me. I was very wet, and he easily slid all the way in. Then we looked into each other's eyes and began the visualization. As we started to pull our hips back, we started to breathe in. The sensation started at the area of contact between his penis and my vagina, and moved back to the base of my spine. As we continued to breathe in and pull apart, the sensation continued up both sides of my back and neck, over the top of my head, and down to my lips and the roof of my mouth. As we started to move our hips back toward each other and breathe out, the sensation moved to my tongue, and down my throat and insides until it reached our vagina and penis again, and he was all the way back inside me. We started to pull our hips apart and breathe in again, and this time the sensation went back to the base of his spine, up his back, over his head, and down to the roof of his mouth. We moved together and breathed out, and the sensation moved down his tongue, throat, and insides to our penis and vagina again. Apart, in, and up. Together, out, and down. Apart, in, up. Together, out, down. Through me and through him the energy circulated, passing between us where we were connected together. The images and sensations got stronger as we concentrated on them. We held on to them as our movements got faster and our breathing got deeper. Around and around, our gazes locked. I struggled to hold on as the energy surged, and then I was caught in its grip as the breath exploded out of me and my fluids gushed. Mark counterbalanced me as we continued to spin around, then the energy surged again, and I felt his penis jerk as he came inside me.


Mark

Linda had moved in with Paul when her lease expired. After we met, she started staying over with me on wednesday nights. Eventually, I started staying over with her on saturday nights. She and I would make a nest of floor pillows in her and Paul's living room. They were large square pillows filled with shredded foam, and three of them made a nice bed. It was a little crowded for two, but we didn't mind. Then I started staying over with Judy after class on thursday nights. I thought Asian women were particularly attractive, and I had always liked the compact beauty of small breasts. I hadn't seen the attraction of large breasts until I met Linda.

Linda said she and Paul and I were a group, and she wanted a weekly ritual to bind us together. So we decided to try sleeping together with all of us in one bed. We chose monday nights because they seemed easiest to keep free and least likely to interfere with other things we wanted to do.

The next monday I went over for dinner as I did on saturdays, except that instead of Paul retiring alone afterward, Linda and I went with him. Paul had a queen size bed he and Linda shared. I thought it took some courage for him to invite me into their space.

Paul and I sat on either side of Linda on the bed, kissing her neck and cheeks and stroking her back on either side. She kissed one of us then turned her head and kissed the other, going back and forth between us. We felt her breasts. There was plenty for both of us. Then Paul undid her pants and pulled them off, and I pulled her shirt over her head and undid her bra. She lay down naked on her stomach while Paul and I undressed. We were both erect, with matching foreskins. Paul worked on one side of her back, while I massaged the other. We did her shoulders, arms, and hands. He moved around and did her head, while I straddled her and did her neck. We went down her back again and worked on her buttocks for a while, then her thighs. We did her lower legs and each took a foot. She turned over, and we worked back up. I kissed her breast and shoulder and sat back. She inserted her diaphragm and turned toward Paul.

He lay down next to her and kissed her. His dark skin looked good on the pink sheets. His fingers felt how wet she was. She parted her legs, and he climbed on top of her, reached down to insert himself, and started moving his hips slowly. She put her freckled arms around his black shoulders and moved her hips with his, her full buttocks hollowing as she pushed forward into him and rounding as she pulled back, his leaner ones doing the same on top. I could hear them squish as they pushed together, and Linda's scent filled the room. Fluid was leaking out of my penis as I watched them gradually increase their speed. It seemed to take forever. I thought I might come before they did just from watching. Then they were moving faster together, and I felt the bed moving with them. Linda's breathing got louder and deeper. Then she was expelling her breath violently with each thrust against him, her arms holding on to him tightly. Paul matched her thrusts and kept going, and she stayed with him, until his breathing got loud and his buttocks contracted as he came.

Paul stayed on top of Linda, and they kissed. Then she reached out her arm toward me, and I came over to her side. Paul slid off to her other side. She held both of us and kissed me. I kissed the tear at the corner of her eye and tasted salt. Paul moved back, and I slid my hand over the wet skin of her chest. I felt her slippery nipple. I tasted the other one and sucked on it gently. I found her mouth again and put one of my legs between hers, moving part way onto her. When she told me she wanted me inside her, I moved between her legs and guided myself into her. She was as wet as I expected, with her own fluids and Paul's. We moved together slowly, then a little faster. We were both already excited, and I knew it wouldn't take long. But it took long enough. I kissed her and felt our hips moving together as hers and Paul's had done. I felt the muscles in her back and shoulders helping with the movement of her hips as I looked into her blue eyes. I felt her breasts pressed against my chest. I felt her breathing deepen again. Then she was thrusting against me and squeezing me to her as she came again, and I thrust into her until I felt the sensation build inside me and release into her.

Linda kissed me, then reached out her arm toward Paul, and he came over to her side. I moved to her other side, and she lay there holding both of us.

We did the same thing again the next week. Afterward, Paul was hard again from watching Linda and me. He had a nice body, tall and firm and dark. I let myself admire men's bodies, because I didn't want to play the game of making sure nobody would think I was gay. I had just seen Paul's penis pumping into Linda, and I was attracted to it. It would taste of her, and it looked pretty good on its own. Linda liked it. I asked him if he would mind me sucking on his penis. He looked embarrassed. He said he wasn't attracted to men, though he didn't see anything wrong with it, but was willing to try it as long as I didn't expect him to reciprocate. He said he was glad I had let him know what I wanted instead of keeping it a secret.

He moved to the middle of the bed and lay on his back. Linda lay next to him, watching. I lay across from her, facing what was left of Paul's erection. I touched his penis. I gently squeezed the base between my fingers and thumb and worked part way up the shaft. He got harder. I put my hand all the way around it and moved up and down. He was rigid. I knelt next to him, put my other hand under his penis, my mouth on the base, and sucked gently, moving up the underside to the head. I worked back down, pulled back the foreskin, and licked the tip. I tasted him and Linda. I switched hands again and took the whole head in my mouth. Linda said to use just my lips and tongue, not to squeeze too hard, and to avoid the ridge around the base of the head. My hand worked his skin up and down the shaft while I sucked. I tasted more drops leaking out as he moved beneath me. I moved up and down, sucking harder with my lips and tongue, my hand going faster. Paul's breath got faster, I felt him approaching climax, and then my mouth was filled with his cum, and I worked to swallow it as more came out.


Paul

Linda and Mark and I talked about moving in together, but my apartment wasn't big enough, and we waited to see if the group expanded before looking for another place. After Mark had been seeing Judy for a while, we invited her to spend monday night with us, making it clear that she would be under no obligation to have sex with me. She accepted.

She and Mark came over for dinner, and Linda and I met them at the door. I hugged Judy, and the two of us went into the kitchen while Mark and Linda kissed. Judy had brought a carrot cake she had made, Linda had vegetables for a salad, and Mark was going to make sushi burritos. He made these from green tortillas wrapped around avocado and sushi rice sprinkled with nori and sesame seeds. He thought these were easier than using nori sheets. They were certainly bigger, and they tasted good. There wasn't a lot of room to work in the kitchen, so Linda made the salad while the rice cooked, and then Mark assembled his stuff.

After dinner, we played music. Mark and Judy had brought their flute and violin, easy to carry instruments. I played piano, and Linda played her drum and sang. We played Celtic music and Joni Mitchell, stopping before it got late enough for the neighbors to complain, then headed for the bedroom. I kissed Linda, and Mark kissed Judy. We all got undressed and climbed into bed.

Mark and Judy were kissing. I kissed Linda and put my arm around her. I massaged between her shoulder blades, the curve of her back, and her large buttock. I put my hand on her hip and kissed her chin, her throat, the top of her breast, and took her pink nipple in my mouth. I moved my hand between her legs and slipped my two middle fingers inside her. She was warm and slippery. I sucked and nibbled her other breast as her breathing got deeper and her hips started moving around. I climbed on top of her and slipped into her easily. I savored the sensation of her vagina around my penis as we moved. We kissed deeply. We kept going, and I could hear her getting closer, and then she gasped, and I thrust into her until I felt myself coming inside her.

Mark was still thrusting into Judy. I could see the sheet under her when she arched away from him. After they had both come and Mark had moved over to Linda, I walked around and lay down behind Judy. I held her with my penis against her lower back and my hand between her breasts, but that was all. We watched and listened to Linda and Mark making love and felt the bed shake.

We did the same thing the following week, and the third week Judy put my hand on her breast as I lay behind her. I pressed it gently, and felt her nipple between my fingers. I kissed what I could find of the back of her neck through her hair. I squeezed her nipple between my fingers and ran my hand over her breast. She pressed back into me. I held her, then moved back a little and pulled on her shoulder so that she rolled onto her back. I looked down into her eyes. They were smooth and dark brown and beautiful. Her skin had a warm glow. I loved her, because of her gentleness and courage, and because of how Mark felt about her. I kissed her, and she put her arms around me. I touched her breast again, and held the outside half of it in my hand. I could feel the ribs behind it. My hand stroked down her ribs and side to her hip, then across her belly and back and forth across her hair. My lips moved down to her brown nipple and pulled on it gently. I stroked between her legs and felt her wetness. I got out a condom and put it on, and she parted her legs for me. I inserted myself and felt her around me. I moved in and out slowly, going more deeply into her, and felt her slipperiness. I went all the way in and pressed against her. We kissed, and our tongues felt each other. I pulled out and in with small movements, staying most of the way in her. She moved with me. My hands were behind her shoulders. Our speed gradually increased, and our movements got a little bigger until she grunted as she thrust against me, and I felt myself oozing out inside her.


Jose

My parents ran a small hotel outside Rio de Janeiro. I learned carpentry from helping my father with repairs and maintenance, and guitar from the different people who would play in the restaurant for tips. One man from Fall River stayed with us every year with his wife and daughter. He was a plumber, but could also do carpentry and wiring. He always wanted me to show him the work I had done, and he taught me different ways of doing things. When I was eighteen, he offered to sponsor me and get me a job as a carpenter's apprentice in the States.

I lived with him and his family at first. He encouraged me to go out with his daughter, which I did. I liked her, and we got along well with each other, but I didn't want to marry her. The situation got a little strained, and I was afraid I would end up sleeping with her if I stayed, so when I was able, I moved out.

There was poverty in the States, though not nearly as bad as in Brazil. I had been lucky and was treated fairly well here, so I wanted to give something back. In an American literature class I had taken to supplement my English language classes, I had read Thoreau. He thought poor people could build their own simple houses, as he had done at Walden Pond, and be better off. It seemed like a strange idea to me. In Rio, shanties weren't alone in the woods, with clear water nearby and room to grow vegetables. Here, people couldn't build shanties, and although there was public housing, many were homeless. I tried to help out by working as a volunteer on a project that built houses for people who could not otherwise afford them.

After I finished my apprenticeship, I was asked to direct a team of volunteers on the project. Most of the people I worked with were willing to listen and did the best they could. I met many good people, but didn't get close to anyone. Then, when she showed up as a volunteer, I met Judy. She could follow directions and was good with her hands. She worked quickly and accurately without making a fuss. She showed up regularly and was soon able to show the other volunteers what to do. The work went more smoothly when she was there, and a lot got done. I liked her, and she was friendlier than the Anglos when I talked to her, but she seemed only interested in the work.

One saturday, when Judy brought her friend Mark with her, she seemed to be looking at me differently, more carefully. Mark had trouble understanding directions and seemed afraid of the tools. He was happier when I put him to work carrying things and holding things for other people. When we finished for the day, Mark invited me out to eat with Judy and himself. We went to a very good and inexpensive Vietnamese restaurant I had learned about from someone with whom I worked. They were both pleased to find out about it.

Mark asked if I had read Dona Flor and her Two Husbands. It was the first time anyone in this country had asked me about Brazilian literature. I said it accurately reflected the beliefs and attitudes of the people, although it was exaggerated. I thought Dona Flor was a strong and admirable woman, and both her husbands were lucky men, even though one was dead and shared her as a ghost. Judy asked me if the live one would be angry if he knew about his invisible co-husband. I said he was incapable of knowing. He couldn't see anything beyond convention, even in his own wife, and he didn't know what he was missing. We spoke of how much people missed by not paying attention, of how they saw what they wanted to see instead of what was right in front of them.

We talked about music. I told them I had sometimes played guitar in the small restaurant of my parent's hotel. I played sambas and bossa novas because the tourists expected it, tangos because they didn't know any better, and the Beatles because it amused them. Mark said he and Judy played flute and violin, and that they would like to hear me and to try playing together. They were busy mondays, and we all had classes other nights, but we arranged a day to meet after work at Judy's apartment.

I brought the music for Piazzola's Histoire du Tango for flute and guitar. Mark had played it before, and we did fairly well. Judy doubled some of each part on violin and improvised. Mark brought the music for Takemitsu's Toward the Sea for alto flute and guitar. I hadn't seen it before, and it was more difficult. We did what we could, Judy taking some of the guitar part. We took a break to eat the broccoli and olive pizza we had ordered, then did Bach, movements from the flute sonatas and violin sonatas. With two of us working together on the harpsichord part they sounded pretty good. With the Beatles we just had fun, Judy and me singing harmony on Two of Us.

Mark had to leave, but Judy asked me to stay. We sat on the love seat, and she apologized for being unfriendly when we worked together. She had told Mark about me, and when he asked why she didn't return my interest, she had realized she was prejudiced. She liked me and hoped I hadn't given up on her. Then she kissed me. I was surprised. She said that like Dona Flor she had two husbands, Mark and Paul, both living, whom she shared with Linda. I said that if she could find time for me, yes, I was still interested.

She told me about herself, and I told her the green hills here reminded me of home. Then I kissed her, and she started crying. I held her. She said she was stupid, and I told her she wasn't. She wiped her nose, and I kissed her again. I felt her tongue come out to meet mine and was dizzy with how fast things were moving. My hand came up to her breast and felt it through the cloth. She pressed her leg against mine. I turned so I was half on top of her. She lay back farther and pulled me all the way onto her, opening her legs. I put my arms around her and pressed my hard penis into her crotch through our clothes. I felt her hips moving under me, and her hands moving over my back.

She pushed me off gently and pulled me to the bedroom. We took off our clothes. I stared at her small breasts and brown nipples, and at the black pubic hair crawling over the lower part of her belly and the crease at the top of each leg. She got out a condom and unrolled it over me, pulling down my foreskin. I pushed her back on the bed and took her breast in my mouth, sucking on the nipple and feeling it with my tongue. My fingers felt how hard her other nipple was, then my mouth. My hand slid down her belly and through her hair, parted her folds, and felt how wet she was. My fingers rubbed her clitoris. I knelt between her legs and guided myself inside, feeling her closing around me. I held her between my arms and stroked in and out, her hands behind my neck and her hips rising to meet mine. I felt the energy building as she moved faster, and then she was gasping beneath me, and I was thrusting into her until I burst open and gushed out.


Linda

Quads are unstable, so I had wanted to bring a fifth person into the group. At first Paul and Mark wanted another woman. Judy and I said if we brought in another woman there wouldn't be enough left for her and me. The two of them would be hopelessly outnumbered. Besides, looking for a hot bi babe was a cliche and a fantasy. They had agreed, and Judy and I had kept our eyes open.

When Judy first mentioned Jose, Mark thought he sounded promising. Judy felt ashamed that she hadn't considered him before, but she and Mark quickly fixed that.

Jose had known Judy and wanted her for quite a while. When they first got together, their passion was pretty intense, and we saw less of her. After they slowed down a little, Judy started bringing him over to dinner and we all got to know him. It looked like he was going to be our fifth, but we hadn't ask him for a commitment yet. The last person was the hardest since he had to build relationships with three people, in addition to the one who recruited him. His gratitude to Mark for giving him Judy helped. He read The Art of Loving and Games People Play, which were the blueprints for what we were trying to do and to avoid. Growing up, he had seen how restrictive traditional marriage could be for women, and it had soured him on the idea, so he was open to finding a better way.

I told Jose that Mark sometimes gave oral sex to Paul when the three of us were alone together. He was ok with that. We invited him to join us on monday nights, which he did. He took part in our discussions. We wanted to find one apartment for the whole group. It needed an eat-in kitchen, two or more bathrooms, a living room big enough for tai chi and a piano, one bedroom big enough for a kingsize bed, another big enough for a queensize bed, and a third to be used as an office and quiet area, hopefully at the far end of the apartment from the living room.

We worked on rules. Any three could ask the other two to leave if things weren't working out, but it took four to ask just one person to leave. Everyone would be paid or charged for items he or others contributed to the group, so we would all own them equally. Anyone could leave and be charged for common items he took back, and paid for those he left, so he would come out even. Everyone would pay into a fund to be used for food, rent, utilities, and common items. If anyone bought common items or food with his own money, except when eating out, records would be kept and accounts settled at the end of the month. Anyone who was away and missed three or more meals would not be charged for food while he was away. Everyone would have to share more or less equally in the manual labor of running the household. Everyone got tested for aids and used condoms for the first six months, then got tested again.

Since Paul and Linda's apartment had become a common area, we tried to work out a fair way to pay for it and the other three apartments. On monday nights we had sex together in Paul's bed and slept where we could find room. For the other six nights we decided to rotate through the six combinations of each woman with each man. That left the other woman with the other two men unless they decided to take a night off. Paul would always have his bed. The other two or three could use a nest of pillows in the living room or one of the other apartments. Mark and I kept wednesday nights, he and Judy kept thursday, Jose and Judy took saturday, and Paul and I took friday, which left tuesday for Jose and me, and sunday for Paul and Judy. These were sleeping arrangements. Whether people had sex every night and how many times was up to them. Most of us had classes of one kind or another, some of us had outside interests, and all of us had jobs.

We were getting ahead of ourselves, since Jose and I had not had sex with each other and had now arranged to spend the night together four times a week. On monday nights Judy and he had sex, but he and I had decided to consummate our relationship privately, unlike Judy and Paul, and we hadn't yet.

Jose asked me out, and we went to a Japanese noodle house for udon. Afterward we went to his studio apartment, which wasn't much bigger than mine had been. He made fresh limonada, Brazilian limeade, and put on a CD of Celtic guitar music by Tony McManus. We took off our shoes and sat on the bed, the only thing there two people could sit on. We were both a little nervous. When we had finished the drinks and set the glasses out of the way, he kissed me. It wasn't the first time we had kissed. It wasn't even the first time we had shared a fairly passionate kiss, but it was different, because we both knew what was to follow. I was about to become his lover, instead of being more or less his sister, and we had already decided to try to build a life together. Our lips lingered gently on each other. We were sitting next to each other, and he put one arm around my shoulders and his hand on my knee. We leaned a little closer together, and the tip of his tongue brushed my lips. I opened my mouth a little wider and met it with the tip of mine. Then I started giggling. I couldn't help it. He looked a little crestfallen, which I could understand. There was no social ritual to cover our situation so he had done the best he could, and I admired him for his courage and his thoughtfulness. I put my arms around him, and we held each other, while I was shaken by another spasm.

When I quieted down, I sat back and looked into his soft brown eyes so he could continue with the ritual. When he hesitated, I picked up where we had left off as gently as I could. His tongue met mine, and the tips rubbed against each other in a kiss of their own. His arm came back around me, and his hand moved to my other knee. I put my arms around his waist. His hand moved up the outside of my thigh and caressed my hip as our mouths found more interest in each other. We lay down on the bed next to each other and continued. His arms were strong and gentle as he held me. He put his hand on my breast, and rubbed his palm over my nipple. I knew Jose loved Judy's small breasts, but I had seen him looking at mine when we were in bed together. I felt his hand massaging my breast through my clothes. He sat up, unbuttoned the top button of my shirt, and worked his way down. He unfastened my jeans and pulled out the front of my shirt. I sat up and pulled out the back so he could take it off. He put his lips on the lace of my bra, kissing the top of my breast and mouthing the nipple, then took it in his hand as he did the other. He reached behind me and took off my bra, his eyes excited. I lay back, and he took my breast in both his hands and the nipple in his mouth. I felt him suck and gently squeeze. His eyes were closed, and I closed mine. He moved both hands and his mouth over to the other.

He sat up and reached for my jeans. I lifted my hips so he could pull them off. He got undressed without taking his eyes off me. He came back and kissed me, and his hand went between my legs. I reached for the penis I had seen inside Judy, and felt his shaft and balls as his fingers found their way inside me. I felt the skin moving over the outside of his erection, and his fingers sliding around my vagina. His fingers came out and rubbed my clitoris, and I reached for the condom I had put under the pillow. When he lay back, I pulled back his foreskin and took his penis in my mouth to clean off what had leaked out. Then I tore open the condom and unrolled it over him, being careful not to catch any pubic hairs under it. I lay back and spread my legs for him. He climbed between, found the opening, placed his penis against it, and gently pushed into me. He paused with just the head in me and slowly moved it in and out, then worked his way deeper, until I had swallowed him whole. He stayed there with a glazed look on his face, then looked into my eyes. He pulled part way out, and pushed back in, while I held his gaze. I moved with him, feeling him pushing into me and pulling back. I felt his elbows against my ribs, and my breasts between our chests. I put my arms around his neck and gave his penis a friendly squeeze, which surprised him. I smiled. We didn't break stride. We were squishing together a little faster now, our movements flowing like a stream of oil. I knew he could keep going a long time, so I was in no rush. I enjoyed myself. I watched the joy in his eyes. I felt a tingling deep in my belly and let it spread throughout my entire body as I waited for it to build. The goddess was moving on the face of the deep, and I welcomed her as an old friend. Jose had felt her, too. She continued to manifest, and I felt the awe I always did at her approach. Then she was there with us, blessing our union, and I sang her praises. Jose was confused, but he kept going until he, too, felt her presence, and he made his offering, and she visited me again, and I praised her with tears in my eyes.


Judy

I said a group couldn't succeed without a strong leader to make decisions people would accept. Voting and consensus were too inefficient to be workable. A leader would emerge whether we wanted one or not, and it was better to acknowledge the role. I thought it should be Paul. Paul didn't. We all thought about it for a while.

A few days later Paul said making decisions was the judicial function. There should be a separate manager to run things and assign tasks, which was the executive function. He thought it should be Linda. Linda didn't. We all thought about it for a while.

A week later Linda said the manager's responsibilities, like the leader's, needed to be limited. Money could be handled by another person. She thought it should be Mark. Mark didn't, but he agreed he was the logical choice since he was an accountant. Jose could keep the manager informed of what maintenance and cleaning needed to be done since he had a background in construction and hotel work. He would also have to figure how five people and all their stuff could fit into one apartment.

Linda saved the bombshell for last. There needed to be someone in charge of relationships. Someone who looked for small problems that might become large and decided whether the group needed to worry about them or could let them slide. Someone who tried to find solutions to disagreements so the leader wouldn't have to impose them. Someone who pointed out the elephant in the living room, problems so big no one saw them, like the alcoholism in my former commune, or a pecking order people pretended didn't exist. Linda thought it should be me. I was caught in my own trap and couldn't refuse.

And she had a problem for me to start with. She wanted to have sex with me. What did I think should be done about that? I said I would think about it for a while.

A few days later I told Linda that we already did have sex together. I liked watching her and hearing her with Paul and Mark and Jose. On monday nights our scents were mixed together on all our men and in each other, not to mention all over the sheets and throughout the entire bedroom. I didn't want to give oral sex, but I liked receiving it. If she wanted to have sex with me, I was honored, and I accepted, and I would do what I could for her. I loved her. And then I kissed her. Nobody told us to get a room, but we did. We even closed the door. Having sex with just one person is good, too.

Now that I had decided and told everyone, I was eager to get started. My hands were trembling as I undid Linda's belt and tried to unfasten her jeans. She had to help me. I knelt down, and she put her hands on my shoulders as I lifted her feet out of her pants and underwear. She lifted her arms over her head, and I pulled off her shirt. I pressed against her breasts as I reached around behind her, unhooked her bra, and freed them. They were impressive, and freckled. I was glad I had large breasts, even if they weren't on me. I held them as Linda undid my pants. Then she undressed me, and we lead each other to the bed. I pulled back the covers, and we climbed on. I pushed Linda back on the bed and took her erect, pink nipple in my mouth. It tasted wonderful. I felt it with my lips and tongue while I stared at its companion. I reached out my hand and held her other breast, wanting to taste it but unwilling to let go of what I had. Then I did. Of course, I had to climb on top of her to reach it. I lay with my belly pressed into her crotch as I sucked. She moved beneath me. Then I had to have her lips again and moved up. I ground my hips into her crotch without having to worry about injuring anything. Then I moved aside so I could reach my hand down her belly and feel how slippery she was. It may not have been the first time I had my hand inside a woman who wasn't me in a nonprofessional capacity, but it was one of the first. I knew right where to press, and she writhed under my touch. I rubbed my fingers against the side of her opening and came out and rubbed her clitoris, with predictable results. She was bucking against my hand, and I eased up a little. She groaned. I maintained a moderate speed, and sweat broke out all over her body. Her breathing got deeper, and I sped up. Then she was gasping and thrusting against my hand, and I climbed on top of her and rode her until she came again.

I toweled her off and lay down next to her with my breasts pressed against her side and my arm around her. Linda lay with her eyes closed and said she had known I was good at sex, but hadn't known how good. I said I knew what she responded to and was capable of from observation. And I knew about women's bodies because I had to care for them at work, and since I had one myself. Now I had two.

When she had recovered, she rolled onto her side and looked at me. We heard a CD playing in the living room and appreciated the effort to give us our privacy. It was Mahler's fifth, a loud one, with the New York Philharmonic horn section in top form. Sixty nine minutes. I expected they had another one ready.

Linda kissed me. Her cheeks and chin were smooth. I ran my fingers through her short, red, easy to care for hair. Her breasts pressed against me, and I reached for them again. They were a new toy. She moved down and sucked my breast, then the other one. I looked at the top of her head. She kissed down my sternum and the bottom of my rid cage to my side, across my belly, and stuck her tongue in my navel. I squirmed. Then she went straight down my belly and through my pubic hair, opened my folds, took my clitoris in her lips, and sucked. I let out my breath. I gasped. I worked on trying to remember how to breathe. Her hands held my buttocks firmly, and her face was pressed into my crotch. Her lips moved down from my clitoris to my opening and her tongue went inside. She was sucking out my fluids and swallowing them. I was making more. Her tongue and lips came back up to my clitoris, and her fingers replaced them inside me. She should have been a flutist. She was triple tonguing me for all she was worth. I was fast approaching climax. Then she started to flutter tongue me, and I completely lost it, bucking wildly. But she held on and didn't stop, and neither did I. I know I had at least three orgasms before she slowed down.


Jose

I felt the delicious sensation of Linda's hand stroking me up and down as she reached around from behind me, her fingers pressing into the base of my penis and her hand pressing into my crotch with each down stroke. I pressed back into her, feeling her breasts against my back and her hips against my buttocks. She was moving in time to Mark's penis stroking in and out of her as he lay behind her. Judy was snuggled up behind Mark, with Paul's fingers reaching around her hip to her clitoris and his penis moving inside her. The whole bed was moving. I was glad I had fixed the squeak.

Gradually our tempo increased. The beast was moving toward orgasm. Paul's breathing got louder, and then he grunted as he came inside Judy. He kept going until Judy gasped, and I felt her spasm through Mark and Linda. The bed still shook, and then Mark groaned as he pushed into Linda, and she pushed back against him. He kept going as Linda bounced back and forth between him and me until she growled with her pleasure. Linda's firm grip kept moving up and down on my penis until I felt the orgasm pass through me, and I sprayed the bed with my cum.

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