This story contains sexually explicit material.
Please e-mail comments to twalden4 at juno dot com with ASSTR in the subject line.
Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.

Technical note: A gasp is a rapid intake of breath. In this story, it also means a rapid expelling of breath, since it is close to the sound I mean. Sigh, grunt, groan, pant, and scream don't work.

Jeremiah's Lament

Allegro

The Platte river is mostly dry. Some people blame Denver, some people blame irrigation. The dam at Big Mac doesn't help much either. It's still the largest river in this dry region of the high plains and, in one form or another, runs all the way across the middle of Nebraska, dipping south before heading back north to join the Missouri at Omaha. Lake McConaughy, called Big Mac, is on the North Platte. Denver is near the headwaters of the South Platte. Both rivers rise in the Rockies, and they join just east of town. Interstate eighty joins the South Platte where it comes out of Colorado, follows the curve of the Platte, and heads due east from Grand Island after the river starts to bend north. The Republican flows across most of the southern edge of the state, and the Niobrara flows across it farther north. Pawnee, Sioux and Cheyenne used to live or hunt in parts of the state, but they're mostly gone.

I remember I used to sing by the river when I was young whenever we went there. I liked the way my voice echoed across the sands of the riverbed. I sang kid's songs and, a little later, some popular songs. My mother signed me up for the church choir when I was ten. I liked the hymns by Luther and Wesley, and I especially liked the harmony in the arrangements by Bach. The blending of voices was magical. I decided I wanted to study voice in college. We sang at the early service and got out of sunday school to go to practice. There were more girls than boys in the choir. They complained about how hot the choir robes were in the stuffy church during the summer. Nothing was done about it until after a couple of them fainted. The first time it happened, the organist and preacher and her parents all thought she was faking and were angry at her for creating a disturbance, but then it became clear that she was out cold. After it happened again she was excused from choir on exceptionally hot days. When it happened to someone else, the girls were given permission to take off their clothes before putting on the robes.

They were supposed to wear leotards for modesty, but some didn't. Maybe the adults thought people would get too excited just thinking about what the little girls weren't wearing. Panties and undershirts came to the same thing. They got away with wearing them because there was no supervision before the service. The organist and preacher were busy. There was no room for a separate changing area, so the girls pretended not to put on a show and the boys pretended not to watch. There was no giggling. They knew better than to draw attention to what was going on. Later, one of the girls who was a little older tried wearing just her panties and bra. There were no older boys in the choir, so maybe she thought it was okay. Her bra was white and lacy and thin. From the way she was turned as she leaned over to step out of her blue flower print dress, I could make out a pink circle through one bulging side of her bra, behind where her nipple poked out into the lace a little. The smooth rounded curve of her buttock flowed through her white panties as she straightened, which also had a little bit of lace on them. When she turned toward me I could see the faint dark patch of her pubic her through them, just above where her legs came together. She slipped on and started buttoning her robe, and all the boys went back to doing the same. The following week two more girls started wearing just their panties and bra, but all the others who were wearing leotards continued to do so.

I don't know how the other boys coped with the stress of the situation, but it wasn't the first time I'd seen a girl in her underwear. My sister and I used to take baths together. She was a year older. I didn't think anything of it at the time, except I found the way she sat on the toilet to pee fascinating. I could hear what was going on but couldn't see anything. She could see me when I stood there and peed into the bowl. I was busy working on my aim and don't know if she was watching. When we got a little older our mother let us take separate baths. We both thought not having to share the tub was great. When we learned we weren't supposed to show our bodies to each other, it was more the idea than the actuality that mattered. She could leave her door partly open when she undressed because I wasn't supposed to care about seeing my sister. She stood so that I could see her in the mirror as I walked down the hall but was careful to never show me too much. I could see her underwear and sometimes her backside but rarely her slit. When she started to develop breasts she would sit in front of her mirror with her robe hanging artfully open so that I could see part of them. Our mother assumed she was playing at being a movie star and didn't pay any attention. I don't know what our father thought. She seemed very proud when she first got enough pubic hair to be noticeable. I kept getting flashes of it above her slit for a while. I found it very exciting.

My mother signed me up for lessons with a retired violin player when I was twelve. He already had two students whom he was teaching violin, so he decided to teach me viola. My mother didn't like it but didn't feel she could object. He had played for many years in a major orchestra and only accepted students as a service to the community. I didn't mind. I thought that in either case the music lessons would help my singing, and that was all I cared about. The other students introduced themselves as Mary Ellen, who was Cheyenne, and her friend Kate, who wasn't. I said I was Jeremiah. They both giggled but didn't say anything about a bullfrog. They were the same age I was but had already been taking lessons for two years. I immediately fell in love with both of them. Their lessons were before mine, and their mothers traded off driving them, so before each of my lessons I waited with Kate for Mary Ellen to finish hers. Kate was thin and had brown hair. Mary Ellen was taller and had long black hair. Neither of them talked to me. I listened to Mary Ellen's playing as we waited and admired it greatly.

Kate and I continued our lessons through the summer, but Mary Ellen went to visit family in Wyoming. During my second year, the professor assigned us passages from string quartets by Haydn and Mozart. He shortened each of our lessons by ten minutes and used the extra half hour for group practice. The two girls only had to stay ten minutes longer, but I had to get there twenty minutes earlier. Still, they had to wait for each other, so I had no cause to complain. The professor played the cello part. He said I had made good progress, but I made a lot more mistakes than the two more experienced students and was embarrassed each time. I practiced my part very hard so I would do better and was glad to be interacting with Mary Ellen and Kate. During my third year, the professor started assigning us passages from symphonies by Beethoven and Tchaikovsky. He played the music of the rest of the orchestra on the piano. I thought it sounded strange. As my playing improved, Kate started talking to me while we waited.

Andante

My sister's breasts had started out small but got quite a lot larger. Through her open doorway I would see her, in the mirror, start to take off her bra, but she always turned away so that I would see the side of her breast and not her nipple. Sometimes her timing was off and I got a glimpse, or maybe she did it on purpose. Sometimes instead she would stop with her head down and wait for me to walk by, but I never did. After we had both hesitated for several seconds, she would finally glance up into the mirror at me and turn away. She would pass me in the hallway in her panties and bra on her way to the bathroom. They were always a coordinated outfit. She always scowled at me like I wasn't supposed to be there. I always looked at her but pretended not to care. We never said anything to each other. At first I was only aware of her movement and the outline of her mound and breasts, but after a while I noticed the way she stared at the erection I got every time I saw her in her underwear.

She seemed to have an great many of these outfits. White lace, white half cups, blue lace, red with white dots, blue with white stars, white with a little flower between the breasts, or a clasp so that the bra opened in front, pink, lavender and other shades, narrow red and white stripes, some with briefer panties, some with slightly less brief panties, and some with cute boy shorts. I think I got a show every time she got a new set. Maybe she was trying to get a reaction out of me. I don't know. Her shape stayed mostly the same through all these permutations, her charms just got somewhat more obvious over time, so I don't think there were any artificial enhancements. Her bedroom was next to mine. I could hear the rocking of her bed and the gasps of her orgasms when she masturbated at night, but she was careful not to be loud enough that our parents couldn't pretend not to notice. I don't know if she heard me when, after seeing or listening to her, I masturbated and came.

I decided I liked the viola. It has a dark and hollow sound that is different from the other strings. The body of a violin is fourteen inches long. A viola is tuned a fifth lower and should be twenty one inches long, but it's not. It would be too big to play. It's only sixteen inches long, although it varies a bit. Even so, only players with very large hands can use the violin fingerings in all positions. The strings have to be thicker than those on a violin. If the tension was much less the strings couldn't be fingered or bowed properly. People say it's the larger body that gives the viola its darker sound, but it's not. It's the thicker strings and the fact that body is actually smaller than it should be. This also makes it more difficult to play loudly.

The violas fill in the harmony between the second violins and the cellos. The darker sound, quieter sound, and supporting role make violas much less noticeable than the other strings, but they are just as necessary for the ensemble sound. A lot fewer string trios have been written than string quartets, but most of them have a viola rather than a second violin. String quintets more often have a second viola than a second cello. And a piano quartet always has a viola. I decided to study viola rather than voice. A voice major usually ends up giving singing lessons, but a violist can join an orchestra. In three years of study I had made enough progress to get into the six week summer music program at Brevard. I wouldn't be able to go to a performing arts high school, but I had an excellent teacher and would be able to get special training and play in student orchestras at summer festivals. The rest was just hard work. During my fourth year of viola lessons I asked Mary Ellen out. She said no and Kate stopped talking to me.

Sometimes there's water in the river. It's been called a mile wide and six inches deep. There was one place where it formed a deeper pool next to a rock near the bank. I don't know where the rock came from. It's dry and flat here with trees only by the rivers and reservoirs. There were some bluffs farther up on the North Platte, but no rocks anywhere. Maybe someone brought it from the east in a covered wagon and abandoned it here. There weren't any glaciers. It's only a few feet high, but kids like to jump off of it into the water. One day my sister and I were lying a little farther down and watching them. She looked very good in her dark green bikini. I was lying on my stomach so my erection wouldn't show. Maybe she could tell I thought it looked like fun. She started teasing me and whispered I should go jump off the rock. She knew I couldn't swim well and didn't like going underwater. I was tempted but was afraid. I didn't say anything. She dared me. She said I was scared. I said I wasn't. She laughed. She said if I did, she would. I wanted her to shut up. She said she would give me her breast, and I could pretend it was Mary Ellen's. She ought to have known she had gone too far, but kids don't. She kept on. She rolled over onto her back and shook herself a little so that they wobbled. Anyone who was watching would just have thought she was getting comfortable. I didn't believe she would follow through on her promise, but just the idea was enough. I got up and went and jumped off the damned rock. It wasn't very high, but I had never been so scared in my life. When I went back and lay down next to her again, she smirked.

A week later we were downstairs watching television while our parents were out. My sister was sitting at the other end of the sofa. She turned and looked at me for a while. I looked at her but kept watching television. Then she swiveled around and put her head on the arm of the sofa and her feet near me with her legs bent. She had her shoes off but her socks on. Without saying anything she started to slowly unbutton the front of her shirt. She pulled it up get at the last button, then pulled out the tails and spread it open. Now she had my full attention. Our parents weren't supposed to be back until late, and we would hear the car if it drove up. She was wearing her bra that had the clasp in the front. She reached between her breasts, unfastened the clasp, and unpeeled one of her breasts. It was round and firm and demanding. It looked huge. The startlingly pink nipple was low and outside. My erection was caught in my pants and painful. She was staring at me with no expression on her face. I stood up and pulled at my belt so my penis could straighten. It did. I walked around and knelt down on the floor next to her. Her eyes followed me the whole way. I stared back into them. Her face still had no expression. I turned to look at the breast in front of me. It was only a little less tanned than the rest of her. It slowly rose and fell with her breath. I could see it jiggling very slightly with her heartbeat. I heard a ringing in my ears and felt sweat all over my body. I leaned forward and put my mouth over her nipple.

I couldn't believe how soft her breast was. I sucked on it very gently. Her nipple felt hard and swollen against my lips and tongue. I put my hand on the outside of her breast and held it. I ran my tongue over her nipple and she started to move. I sucked a little harder and her breathing got deeper. I moved my other hand up and placed it on the bottom of her ribcage. She uncovered her other breast. I stared at it while my mouth was busy. I reached over and ran my fingers across it. It rippled under them. I cupped my hand over it and held the nipple with my thumb. She put her hand on my shoulder. I could hear her breathing now. The movement of her hips drew my attention. Her knees had parted slightly. I moved my hand from her breast to the flat of her stomach. I felt it heaving under my fingers and palm. I slid my hand down to the front of her jeans. Her knees parted farther on their own. I know she wouldn't have done it, but her mind was on what she was feeling and not what she was doing. I kneaded her and felt warm dampness between her legs.

My hand came back up and pulled on her zipper. Her jeans were so tight that it opened easily. I reached inside, burrowed under the top of her panties, through her pubic hair, along her slit, and squirmed my way into her. She was wet and finally realized what was happening. Her eyes opened and turned to me with a hungry look, but I couldn't kiss her. She was my sister. They closed again as I continued to work on her breast and vagina. She kept her hand on my shoulder. After a while the other reached down, undid the top of her jeans, reached in, and pulled my fingers up to her clitoris. When she was sure I was doing what she wanted, it moved up to her other breast and began pinching the nipple. I tried to match the pressure it was exerting. She fell into the rhythm I had heard coming from her bedroom so many nights. I knew her timing. I knew how to keep going, when to start gradually getting faster, where to balance as she got close, and what to do as she went over the edge and started gasping and spasming beneath my fingers and mouth.

After a moment she said now I had to show her myself. It was the first thing she had said to me all evening. I pulled my hand out of her pants and sat back. She refastened her bra, buttoned her shirt, tucked it in, and did up her jeans. Then she turned on her side and looked at me. I didn't know what to do, and she didn't give me any hints. The television was still on. I was kneeling next to her. So I shuffled back a little and undid my jeans. She had no expression on her face. I let them drop and pulled down my dark red and fairly soaked bikini briefs. My erection had diminished, but as she kept looking it started to throb again. She smirked. She said to come closer, so I shuffled back. She stared at my penis for a long time. It continued to bounce a little with my heartbeat. I thought it had dried up for now, but another drop started to ooze out. She reached for a tissue and caught it as it dangled.

She lifted the bottom of my tee shirt to see how much pubic hair I had. She put her hand around the shaft of my penis and squeezed gently. It looked like an awkward position for her, but she seemed content to keep lying there. She felt my balls underneath, probing gently to determine their size and shape. Then she started sliding them around. This seemed to amuse her. She pulled my foreskin down farther and examined me. She gently poked at the tip with her finger and I shivered. She ran it along the ridge at the edge and I grimaced. She stopped that. She put her hand back around the shaft and started stroking, catching anything else that came out with another tissue. After a while I reached up, adjusted her grip, got her to slide the skin back and forth on the shaft, and showed her the pressure and rhythm I was used to. When I was sure she was doing what I wanted, I put my hand on her shoulder. She knew my timing. She knew how to keep going, when to start gradually getting faster, where to balance as I got close, and she leaned forward and put her mouth over my penis just before I started gasping and spurting beneath her fingers as I came.

Some things were different after that. When she passed me in the hallway in her panties and bra she no longer scowled or looked at me. She went around me as if I were a piece of moving furniture. She didn't have as many new sets of underwear, or if she did, she didn't feel compelled to show them to me. She still left her bedroom door partly open, but I didn't see her in the mirror as often, and when I did, she didn't seem to care what I saw or didn't see. Maybe she was embarrassed. Maybe I should have kissed her. Maybe it's better I didn't. I don't know. When I heard her rocking and gasping alone in her room I wanted to go to her. It made me sad. I didn't say anything about it, but I missed her. The next summer I went to the music festival in Aspen. The summer after that to the one at Tanglewood. My sister left for college and found a boy friend. After I finished high school I went to a conservatory in an eastern city.

Scherzo

Originally all string players used gut strings, made from sheep gut. They are sensitive to humidity and temperature and don't stay in tune, but they have a warm and complex sound due to the many overtones. I use a Eudoxa brand gut string wound with silver for my bottom string, the C. Steel strings started being used in the nineteen twenties. They are much more stable, don't break as often, and have a quicker response, but the sound is bright and uncomplicated. I use a Larsen medium gauge steel string wound with alloy for my top string, the A, where it works well. Today synthetic strings made of perlon, a type of nylon, or of kevlar hold tune like metal strings and have some of the complex sound of gut strings. I use Obligato synthetic fiber strings wound with silver for both my middle strings.

During my third year at school my composition professor assigned us to write a short movement in sonata form, for chamber orchestra. I thought I would write something about the river. I spent a lot of time on the project and wound up writing a longer piece than the two or three minutes that was called for. In the introduction, with a five note pentatonic scale instead of the usual seven note scale, you hear the drip drip, drip drip of falling rain water and melting snow at the head of the Missouri river, in Montana. The first subject stays with the pentatonic but shifts to the relative minor, and you hear the dom dom dom dom of native American drums, while above this flows a lyrical river theme from one of their flutes. The second subject shifts to the full scale in the dominant, and clarinets and violins transform the river theme into the howling of wolves, representing the Yellowstone river. Later you hear snow and ice in the de de de de, de de de de of the strings, and the river theme as a church hymn being sung by settlers in the harmony of the woodwinds, representing the James river coming down from the Dakotas. The development transforms the dom dom of the native drums into lots of da da dums that all overlap each other and form a herd of pronghorn running over the plain. The river theme transforms from wolf howls into the yips and barks of black tailed prairie dogs to represent the Platte river flowing across Nebraska.

In the recapitulation, you hear the drip drips, dom doms, de de de de's, and da da dums combine to form a new theme that contains the rhythms of all of them, the way the waters of the Missouri, Yellowstone, James, Platte, and other rivers flow into each other to form a new larger river that is still called the Missouri. The melodies of the native flute, howling wolves, church hymn, and yips and barks of the prairie dogs combine to form a new lyrical river theme that overlays the rhythmic theme. In the coda, a new majestic slower theme (da dee da dum, da dum da da da, da doe, da dee da da da) based on the first two lines of the folk song Shenandoah suddenly appears out of nowhere, the way Columbia the Gem of the Ocean would suddenly appear in the compositions of Charles Ives, and fits over the other two themes. You hear the music keep going, start gradually getting faster, balance as it gets close, and crash over the edge and into a climax that sweeps away everything that was there. I didn't know if anyone else would be impressed, but I was. My professor thought it sounded too much like Offenbach, Dvorak, Vivaldi, and Smetana, but she was satisfied and gave me a good grade.

Several students were chosen to have their compositions performed and discussed in class. I was not one of them. Maybe it was because my piece was too long, or maybe not. The performances would be in a version for piano with one or two soloists, with the professor assisting if needed. One of the other students who wasn't selected asked to see my work. I didn't know why, but I made a copy and gave it to her. She had a bit of an accent and her name was Eliska. After she'd looked at it, she said she thought it was good and offered to help me perform it. She played cello, so I found a pianist who was willing to read through it and prepared the parts. Every group larger then a piano trio needed a viola player, and all string groups did, so there were more people looking for viola players than viola players looking for other people. They made jokes about viola players, but I could find someone to help me out fairly easily when I needed to. I offered to help Eliska play her composition, but she didn't want to. The reading went well enough, even with our unusual selection of instruments. I thought the piece need more work. Afterward, I asked Eliska out. She said oh. I knew she had at least one boyfriend and probably more. She was striking, with her long dark blond hair and full figure, and I didn't think she would go out with someone like me. Then she smiled and said yes, she would like that. I almost came in my pants.

A week later we listened to someone's recital and then went out for pizza and beer. She had Sam Adams and I had Becks. It was a bit crowded and noisy but not bright, and we had a booth. She told me about growing up in Czechoslovakia and the Czech Republic, and I told her about Nebraska. She asked me about my music. She said she heard a sadness in it that wasn't apparent on the surface. The church hymn was joyous and solemn, but underneath there was something that sounded like a lament. It was also there in the howling wolves earlier, a loneliness underneath that was deeper than the loneliness on the surface. I said yes, that was why the piece had ended up longer than intended. A relationship that was important to me had ended badly mostly due to circumstances beyond our control. I had used what I felt in the music. She looked at me for a couple moments. She seemed to look through me and guess what had gone on between me and my sister, but all she said was that she was sorry. I said it was a long time ago, and we talked about other things.

She invited me up to her room. It looked nicer than mine. There was a poster of Prague with a long stone bridge over a deep river, old buildings crowded together, and a low structure on a hill behind them. She put on some Martinu string quartets. We sat on her bed and talked a little. She put her hand on my leg. When she stopped talking, I kissed her. It seemed to be expected. Her lips were wet. When I brushed them with my tongue, her tongue came out to meet it. They intertwined like two serpents mating. We swiveled around and lay down full length without letting go of each other. I moved my hand from her back to her breast and she turned to accept it. It was soft and hard. I unbuttoned the front of her shirt while I kept kissing her. When I slid down toward her breast, she slid her bra strap off her shoulder and exposed it.

I looked at its huge pinkness for a moment, then sucked the nipple into my mouth and felt its texture with my tongue. She slid her hands around and under me and undid the front of her jeans. I slid my hand down over her smooth stomach and curly pubic hair, parted her, and found the wetness inside her vagina. She purred when I rubbed inside behind her clitoris and moaned when I rubbed the bottom edge of her opening. She kept moaning as I slid my fingers along the side of her opening, and gasped when I gently rubbed the small lump of her clitoris. I sucked a little harder on her breast and matched the rhythm of my fingers to the writhing of her hips. Her timing was different. I gradually increased my speed as her breathing got faster, slowed and held her on the edge as long as I dared when she got close, then matched her spasms as she gasped and came.

I released her breast and kissed her again. She held me. When she loosened her grip somewhat I stood up and took off my clothes. She wriggled out of hers on the bed, pulled down the covers under her, and spread her legs. I managed to unroll a condom over myself, then climbed on and guided myself into her. We held each other and moved together. I felt her under me and around me. I looked at her ear and kissed under it. We sped up and slowed down. I could feel her breasts pressed against my chest. I think the beds in these dorm rooms are forty years old. They're just metal frames with springs and a thin mattress, and they squeak if you bounce on them. Soon she started grunting with each thrust, and I pushed a little harder. She sped up again, and I followed. I held her as she gasped and shook with her orgasm, and she held me and kept going until I gasped and felt myself come inside of her. She said I was pretty good for a viola player.

She didn't have a lot of free time, none of us did, but she made some for me. Near the end of each month, whether we went out or not, she'd spend the night with me. She was nice. That doesn't sound like much, but in a place full of prima donnas she was willing to give in or compromise. Still, she ended up getting her own way more often than not. We worked together on other people's projects when someone wanted to do a piano or string quartet. We could have formed our own string quartet but got enough requests that we didn't need to. I felt an intensity and cohesion in the music whenever we played together that I didn't feel at other times. It was strange, and I didn't understand it.

I continued to work on my river sonata over the summer and when I had time. I had decided to expand it by adding three more movements, and I also added a couple instruments to the chamber orchestra. I would be able to get credit for it somehow. When I finished it, Eliska found a wind trio that would help us play it. We called in favors from two violin players we had assisted. The trumpet I had added to the last movement would have overpowered our small group, so I gave its part to a clarinet. I did need a banjo player for the second movement though, and there weren't any at the conservatory. I put a notice up at the jazz school nearby, and a guitar player who could play banjo and wanted to work with us responded. I did get credit for the piece in another composition class I took, and the professor found rehearsal space for us and a room to use for a performance. Everyone studied their parts, and after three rehearsals we were ready.

A fair sized audience showed up. The school wasn't that large, and people were curious about what we had done. Also, we had worked with quite a number of people, and Eliska was very popular. The first movement is allegro and sounded much better with this group than it had with just piano, viola and cello. The second movement is andante and opens with a simple statement of the Ohio river theme, which is more subdued than the Missouri theme in the first movement and represents the river's origins in New York and Pennsylvania. The variations represent rivers that flow into the Ohio. The Kanawha has elements of old time music and includes the banjo and fiddle, the Kentucky has more folk, the Wabash is almost a march and the banjo drops out, the Cumberland takes something from gospel a cappella quartets, and the Tennessee, for which the banjo returns, contains bluegrass from its source in North Carolina. The restatement of the Ohio theme expands and incorporates something from each of these.

The third movement is a scherzo. The Cimarron is a fast cowboy ballad in three quarter time, the White is the trio and has a dissonant and irritable sound, the Canadian is the ballad again with a Cajun sound from the early French hunters who followed it into New Mexico, the Red is the second trio with the dissonant intervals changed so that it sounds Mexican and more cheerful, and the Arkansas is a country version of the ballad that merges with the two previous versions to become something new. The final movement is allegro and starts as a fugue. The clarinet, standing in for the trumpet, enters with a swing theme as the Mississippi passes Chicago, then continues with the Missouri theme as a counter subject while the other woodwinds enter with the swing theme. The woodwinds pick up the Missouri theme and the strings enter with the swing theme. Later the Ohio theme enters in the various voices, and then the Arkansas theme. The other themes return to form a three part fugue, then break up and reunite to form a single grand Mississippi theme. The Mississippi theme transforms into a dixieland version, and then fades into a delta blues version of the original swing theme to complete the journey of the river.

Allegro

After I graduated from the conservatory I joined the same orchestra Eliska did. I broke up with her when I started a new relationship with someone else. We stayed friends, but when my new relationship fell apart after a few months I was too embarrassed to ask if she wanted to start having sex again. I also felt too ashamed, although I don't know exactly why. A couple years later she told me she had started playing chamber music on the sly and asked if I wanted to join her. I didn't know what she was talking about but said yes.

I found myself standing in a hallway with my viola next to Eliska and her cello while she knocked on a door. A short red headed freckled woman answered. Eliska said swordfish and went inside. The woman said she was Linda, I must be Jeremiah, and invited me in. There was a large living room with a nice upright grand piano, four chairs with music stands, and a small sofa. Linda introduced me to Judy, the violin player, Paul, the pianist, Mark, the flautist, and Jose, who didn't seem to be participating. Then three more people came in, Owl, Thom and Kamau. Eliska seemed to be playing some game of her own. Judy told me they had played the Brahms second and third piano trios. They had thought the first wasn't interesting and was too long. Now she wanted to try a piano quartet. She had asked if Eliska could find a viola player and been offered me. I said I had known Eliska at school, and all she had told me was what pieces we were playing. Eliska had her cello out, so Judy and I sat down and tuned up.

The first piece was the Brahms third piano quartet in C minor, op 60. It is a large work. Schoenberg orchestrated the first piano quartet and turned it into a symphony. He could have done the same with the third. Brahms sketched it at the same time as the first two but didn't complete it until twelve years later. It is shorter but contains just as much music in a smaller space.

The introduction starts with a loud chord on the piano that just sits there. Except it's not a chord, it's octaves, so you get two measures of one fading note. The strings play two chords, play them again, and the third time finally continue with a melody. The piano comes back with the octaves one note lower. The strings do the same thing as before only they play different chords each time, and it takes them five tries to get into the melody. More octaves and chords, this time together. Four pizzicato notes, and the strings fall downward to start the first subject with agitated repeating notes. Piano octaves try to form a melody, things break up, the strings and piano go back and forth, and something like a melody appears with the strings moving around nervously and the piano playing chords. At one minute forty seconds things start to calm down, and at two minutes fifteen seconds the piano starts the second subject with a lyrical melody. The strings join in, and it turns into a set of variations. The variations break up and become agitated in the development. Four more pizzicato notes, things calm down again, and there are more variations in the recapitulation. Things threaten to get out of hand again in the coda, but then calm down and end nicely.

The scherzo starts with brief parallel octaves in the piano and strings, then the piano starts a fast rocking melody in chords punctuated by the strings. Things slow down briefly. The strings take a larger role. It gets softer, and the strings slow down while the piano keeps going. The strings speed up and the piano slow down. Things get nervous and agitated in the trio, then a pause, descending octaves in the piano, and stuff from the beginning comes back for a while. It builds up, hangs there, and ends. It was a lot of music. We went over what we had done and left the other two movements for another time.

During the break, while we were having cookies and various beverages, Eliska said she wanted to invite me to join the group. Everybody got quiet, as if she had just said fuck in church. Owl said they had an agreement. Eliska said agreements could be changed. Owl said that was true, but this was neither the time nor the place to talk about it. Eliska said fine, but she wanted me there. Owl said fine. I knew she had stopped and consulted with other people before answering. I also knew she had answered without hesitating or looking at anyone else. This might have bothered me, but I had no idea what was going on anyway. I said I didn't want to create a problem. Owl said I hadn't, but if I was willing I could help them resolve it. I said okay. I didn't know what I was agreeing to, they knew I didn't know, but somehow they knew that I meant it. Thom said he was sorry, but Owl was mistaken. He knew they had planned to work on the Mozart flute quartet, but the elephant in the living room had crowded it out. This was the time and place to talk about it.

Thom asked if I could see Max. I assumed he meant the man I hadn't been introduced to whom I had noticed while we were playing. I looked around and said he wasn't here right now. He said there were some things I needed to know. I asked if they had to do with Eliska's strange musical powers? She said yes and asked me how long I had known about them. I said since the first time we had played together. She said that wasn't possible, she hadn't known about them herself back then. I didn't say anything. She asked why I hadn't ever mentioned them? I said I was afraid she would think I was crazy. She said yes, she would have. Thom said some of the rest of them had abilities also. The most relevant right now was his ability to read minds. I said you're kidding. He didn't say anything. I said okay, but how is that relevant? He said Max was standing next to me right now, but I couldn't see him unless I gave Thom permission to link to my mind. I had no objection, but I was surprised that I didn't know why I didn't. Why would any sane person agree to let someone else look inside his head? I tried to figure it out but couldn't, so I said go ahead. Max was standing next to me right where he had been the whole time. I didn't know why I had thought I couldn't see him before. Max said it was confusing until you got used to it. I said I guess. He said he wasn't really here, he was an inmate in a prison and only here in the dream state. I said that would explain it. Why wasn't I surprised? He said he didn't know. It was something to do with how the brain accepted and processed information. We all knew lots of stuff we weren't aware that we knew.

Owl said that Paul, Linda, Mark, Jose and Judy had a group marriage. So did she, Max, Thom, Kamau and Eliska. Eliska had just proposed adding me to their group. Which was fine. I seemed like the sort of person they would be looking for. Except they had agreed to limit the group to five people. She didn't want to expand it. I said ah. What was the problem? Eliska said she still wanted to invite me to join the group. I said ah. Why not just put it to a vote? Max said things didn't work like that. They had procedures to handle situations like this. The problem was, they had never been tested. Their group was new, but Linda's group had been in existence for six years, and another had for nearly as long, and no serious disagreements had arisen. I said that didn't seem possible. Every group had disagreements. He agreed, but said it was true. I asked what now? He said his job was leader, as was Paul's. He hadn't wanted it to be, but the others had pointed out he wasn't qualified to do anything else. He was locked up. So far he hadn't had to do anything. Thom's job was manager. He assigned tasks and made sure they got done. He tried to get everyone to agree. Eliska monitored relationships. If anyone saw a problem, felt left out, or thought something was unfair it was her job to try to fix it. That was why things worked as well as they did. It was one person's full time job to look for and resolve problems before they got out of hand.

I was beginning to see why everyone was so concerned. They operated by consensus. They had found a way to do it without the endless meetings and discussions that wore down other groups, and without the same people always giving in because others wouldn't. They did it by using respect and awareness and by keeping the group small. Most groups of two couldn't manage it. Some groups of one couldn't manage it. I said I still didn't want to cause problems. Eliska said I hadn't. She and I had had a relationship previously. It had ended mostly due to circumstances beyond our control. I needed more, and she couldn't be tied down. She loved Owl and Thom and Max and Kamau, and she wanted to spend her life with them. But she also loved me. This surprised me, but I realized of course we loved each other. The amount of time we spent together didn't have much to do with it. She agreed there was a limit to the size the group could be and still work, but she thought five wasn't it. So she had invoked the nuclear option. I asked what exactly that was. She said that if they couldn't agree among themselves, then the leader would make the decision. Anyone who couldn't live with it could leave.

Now it was up to Eliska to see if people would agree. She said she was willing to recuse herself and let someone else try to find consensus if they wanted to. No one did. Owl said she trusted her. She didn't need to be impartial, and anyway, none of them were. Eliska said she had discovered a way that she thought she and I could be together in spite of our different temperaments. She wanted to try it. Having an outside relationship with me wouldn't be enough. She asked Owl if she was willing? Owl said no. She found four relationships difficult enough. She asked Max. Max abstained. He had doubts, but would go along with whatever the others decided. She asked Thom. Thom said no. He thought five was the largest workable group. Each additional person changed the entire dynamic and added a whole other level of complexity. She asked Kamau. Kamau said yes. He thought the group was more like a village than a household, since there was no one person in charge. They should be able to accept one more. She asked me. I said I would join the group if invited but would not encourage them to change the rules. They should do what they thought best. Eliska said everybody had spoken, and there was no agreement. Did anyone want change their vote or say anything else? No one did. She told Max it was up to him.

Max said he stood by the original agreement and would not invite me to join the group. He asked Eliska what would she do? Eliska said she would stay with me. If that meant she had to leave the group, she respected that, but it wasn't her choice. She hoped to maintain her relationships with each of them. He asked Kamau what he would do. Kamau said he would go with Eliska. He was sorry. Owl said Eliska and Kamau had added to the group and she was sorry to see them go. Kamau would need to move out when they found someone new but could stay until then if he wanted. Eliska had never moved in. That seemed to settle it. Before we broke up, Judy asked me if I was interested in trying Bach's sixth Brandenburg? I said yes, did she play viola? She said no, but she'd had some viola and cello lessons as part of her violin training. She'd been practicing the second viola part on her violin. If I had a viola she could borrow she would see what she could do. I said I would bring one next week.

Eliska and I renewed our relationship but did not move in together. We thought we should wait and see what sort of group developed. She asked me when was the last time I'd been tested? I said not recently, but I hadn't been very active and had always used protection. She said it was safe, we didn't need to use a condom. She had with everyone else except those in her group, and they'd all been tested. Eliska's lease did not allow her to sublet. Thom got away with spending time there because he was white, Paul because he was always well dressed although he got some looks, Owl because she was female, and Max because he wasn't really there. Most of her other lovers were classical musicians. But Kamau was basically a street person. He played his drum for tips and took what jobs he could get. I offered to let him move in with me. My place wasn't as nice as hers and no one would care. He said he couldn't afford it. I said he could pay what he had been paying Owl and Thom. He thanked me and agreed, but said he would stay with Owl and Thom a little longer. I was happy to be back with Eliska, but in spite of what had happened, nothing else seemed to have changed much.

All violin players think they can play viola. It's a different instrument. The next week I coached Judy and went over the second viola part with her. She and Jose practiced, and two weeks later we tried playing through the whole piece. The sixth Brandenburg Concerto is for two violas, two violas de gamba, cello, violone and harpsichord. Bach wrote it because he and Prince Leopold played viola. The viola de gamba parts are often played by additional cellos but are less important, and we omitted them. The violone and harpsichord parts are the same, and Jose could play them on guitar by using a C tuning to reach the low notes. That left me and Judy on viola, Eliska on cello, and Jose on guitar.

The concerto starts as a close canon. The first viola plays a three note trill, and the second viola immoderately repeats it. The first viola plays another trill, and the second repeats it. The first plays a third trill, and the second again repeats it. They're playing other stuff in between, and they're playing the same notes with the same timings, but the parts sound different because the second viola is an eighth note behind and the beats fall in different places. The other parts (even the omitted ones) are repeated notes, and everything is going amazingly fast. Since the cello and guitar parts are the same repeated notes, Eliska takes the first gamba part. After twenty seconds the second viola breaks canon for two sixteenth notes to maintain the harmony, does it twice more, and at forty seconds diverges, just before the end of the passage.

Eliska comes back down to her own part, which finally does something. The first viola starts a passage with two trills, and the second viola follows four beats behind, instead of half a beat, but the passage only continues for a few seconds. The first viola starts another higher passage, and the second viola follows two beats behind and a seventh lower. The cello and guitar pause, so Eliska and Jose pick up the gamba parts, which have become more interesting. Maybe Bach originally wrote it in four parts and later divided it into six. It's mostly a duet for the two violas. The opening canon returns a fourth lower but diverges after five seconds, and later it sneaks in again without the first trill and a second higher for twenty seconds. The fourth time it's a third lower, the fifth time the second viola leads and it's a fourth higher, and the sixth time it returns to its original position and length to end the movement.

In the second movement the violas trade slow overlapping passages, there are no gamba parts, and the cello and guitar accompany until the cello has a solo passage near the end. The third movement starts with the violas playing a lively dance tune in unison and Eliska on the first gamba part. The violas divide, the gambas and guitar pause, and Eliska moves to her own part for a trio passage. This trio passage has three instruments. The middle section of a scherzo or minuet is also called trio but can have any number of instruments. It's confusing. Eliska moves up to the first gamba part when the violas have a brief unison passage and back down to her part after, does it again, and then has a solo passage accompanied by the violas. The movement is mostly a trio for the two violas and cello. There are more unison and trio passages, and the movement ends with a long unison passage. On the last phrase the guitar is supposed to drop down an octave from the cello but Jose stays were he is, Eliska moves from the first gamba part to the second, and on the last note Judy moves to the first gamba part to complete the chord. Everyone thought it went well enough, but we needed more practice. After the break we worked on the Brahms some more.

A few days later, Kamau and Linda were already at Eliska's apartment when I arrived there for dinner. Kamau didn't know anything about cooking and Eliska didn't know anything about African food, but together they were trying to make kachumbari, irio and ugali. While Linda and I sat at the table waiting to see what happened, she asked if she could show me something. I said yes. She said she wanted to participate in our music. She sang and had arranged some of Papageno's parts from the Magic Flute for piano, flute, violin, viola, cello and mezzo soprano. To see how this might be done she had looked at Beethoven's variations for cello and piano based on two of the arias, Mozart's quartets for flute and string trio, Debussy's sonata for flute, viola and harp, Rousseau's intermede in one act called The Snake Charmer, which had a lush texture and prominent, if somewhat dark, flute, and Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire for voice, piano, flute, clarinet, violin and cello. The last was relevant because a viola could sound like a woodwind. The piece had a sound like what she wanted, although it was a bit sparse and the music very different. I looked at what she had done. It was quite good, but she was a song writer rather than a composer. I pointed out a few places where there were other possibilities. She made some notes and asked some questions. I said I would like to play it. She said she would work on it some more.

She asked me what I thought of Judy. I said I enjoyed playing music with her. She could have been a professional if she had practiced more. Linda said that was what her parents had wanted, but she'd had other ideas. Linda said I should ask her out. She liked me. They weren't that much older than we were. Or maybe she meant than I was, I couldn't tell. I said I had always been attracted to Asians, but she was beautiful and already had three husbands. Linda said Judy was shy about sex and the only one of them without an outside relationship. I would be good for her. I said I would see if I could work up the courage. Linda's look said I had better not take too long.

Kachumbari turned out to be a salad made of tomatoes, onions, peppers, avocados, cilantro and lemon juice. Irio was boiled potatoes mashed with beans, corn and spinach. Ugali was a thick cornmeal mush eaten with the fingers. Kamau said there were lots of ways to make the first two, but this was what he liked, with spinach in place of the pumpkin leaves. Kenyan food had Arab, European and Indian influences. It's regional, but some things have become popular since they became a nation, like samosas and chapati. It was about as basic as you can get and not much different from what you could find here. I thought it was good.

After we finished, we moved into the living room. Kamau sat in the big chair, and Linda squeezed in beside him, so Eliska and I sat on the loveseat. We talked for a while. Kamau had his arm around Linda because there was nowhere else for him to put it. He had been gently squeezing her arm. He moved his arm up and started massaging her shoulder. She shifted a little but otherwise ignored him. His hand disappeared behind her. The way she moved her shoulders indicated she approved of what he was doing. Kamau wasn't saying much, but Linda kept talking. He leaned down and kissed the side of her neck. She tilted her head to the side. He started nibbling her ear. She kept talking as if nothing was happening. This went on. Then calmly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, while continuing to look at Eliska and me, she reached down and lifted up the front if her dark green tee shirt.

She wasn't wearing a bra. Eliska and I pretended nothing had happened. I mostly managed to maintain eye contact. Hers were a soft pale blue. Her breasts were large and ripe and her nipples were pink. Kamau's hand reached up and cupped the far one, his dark skin obscuring some of her freckles. He lifted it as if weighing a cantaloupe. He squeezed the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I could see it stiffen. She sat there holding her shirt up and continued to ignore him. Eliska and I watched them and tried to hold up our end of the conversation. And then it was just me as Eliska leaned down and kissed the side of my neck. Kamau's hand shifted to Linda's other breast. Its nipple also stiffened. Eliska started nibbling my ear. Not to be outdone, I calmly reached down and undid the front of my pants. I think the effect would have been better if I hadn't been wearing underwear, but Linda didn't seem to notice anyway. Eliska's hand reached into my briefs and pulled out my penis. She squeezed it as if testing a cucumber. This one seemed to be a little slimy. Linda and I continued our conversation. I don't remember what we talked about. Then Eliska stood up and tugged me toward the bedroom. I said excuse me to Linda. She said of course.

Eliska pulled off the covers and put on the Vivaldi late violin concertos. We undressed and got into bed. She had been wearing one of the red leotards she seemed to like nowadays. I kissed her and started sucking on her breast. Her nipple got hard but her breast stayed soft. A few minutes later Linda and Kamau came in. They undressed and got into bed. I ran my fingers through Eliska's pubic hair. I saw that Linda's was the same orange color as her hair. If you go by sight, pubic hair is the sexiest part of a woman's body. It is mysterious and curly and if left to itself each individual hair tapers to a point. Trimming or removing it seems like sacrilege. It does need to be taken in context. Eliska was moist and ready, and I slipped into her easily. Her hips moved with mine. Our pubic hair messed together at the bottom of each stroke. I could hear her squish. She was warm and fragrant and solid in my arms. I kissed the side of her neck. She tasted of salt. We kept going. When she started to speed up I followed her. She balanced on the edge for a while, and then she was gasping and thrusting as I held her and matched her stroke for stroke. She slowed a bit, and then sped up for another orgasm, and I felt the cum moving through me and spurt out into her.

I heard Linda and Kamau squishing next to us as we lay there entangled, and they came not long after after we did. He and I rolled off, and he walked around to the other side of the bed. Elisha moved over when he got in, which forced me up against Linda. She said she thought we were supposed to fuck. And if I was keeping track, this was also the first time she'd had sex with Kamau, although they shared a lover. Then she handed me a condom. This seemed a good way to get over any awkwardness. I knew what I was supposed to do with it. Kamau had dispensed with his. I said I needed a few minutes to recover. She said of course. She snuggled against my side, I stroked her back, and we both watched Kamau and Eliska pawing each other. Her hand wandered down to my still soft and somewhat sticky penis. She felt the shaft and cupped my balls. Kamau seemed to have recovered already. After a while I felt Linda stroking my erection. I kept my eyes closed. When Eliska and Kamau started slowly bouncing next to us, I sat up and put on the condom. There wasn't a lot of room on the bed. I turned and kissed Linda. She put her arm around me. I pressed my penis against her thigh. Her tongue caressed mine. I rolled her onto her back, moved between the legs she spread for me, and guided my penis into her vagina.

She was warm and slippery. We held each other and moved together. I kissed her again. Neither of them were skinny, but while Eliska could be called solid, Linda would have to be called more rounded. Eliska was a bit taller than medium height, and Linda was somewhat shorter. Eliska had a fairly even overall color, while Linda's was collected in her freckles. She was cute and felt very good under me. I couldn't tell whose breasts were bigger. They were hard to compare. When Linda started breathing more deeply I tried to speed up, but she wouldn't let me. She kept to a slow and steady rhythm, like ocean waves. She seemed lost in the sensation and unaware of anything else. The waves kept getting bigger without getting faster, and finally she grunted out uuuh, uuuh, uuuh! uuuh! uuuh! uuuh, uuuh as she came. After that she let me speed up a little, but when she could tell I was committed to my orgasm she slowed down again, and I felt the slow and steady breakers washing over me as I came.

The next week, Linda had her arrangement of Mozart's Magic Flute ready. The music wasn't difficult. In the first song the violin starts off with a bouncy tune. Viola and cello accompany, along with flute, filling in for the second violin. The piano plays accents that were written mostly for the horns, but also oboes and sometimes bassoons. It plays passages at the end of some lines where all the woodwinds joined in. When everyone else pauses, the flute plays five rapid rising notes representing the bird catcher's pan pipes, the piano answers with the horns' two notes, and the phrase repeats. Papageno, a baritone moved up an octave for Linda, sings he is the bird catcher. He'd like to catch girls and find himself a wife. We play the next song, which is the hero searching for Papageno and a girl he has seen a picture of, as an instrumental. The viola takes his part, and he plays his flute and moons over the girl. He hears Papageno's pipes, played higher on the flute, and answers him. He is ecstatic.

In the next song Papageno, who has found the girl, hears the hero's flute but is found by the villain and his men. He plays his bells, played high on the piano to sound like a glockenspiel, and their captors get happy and dance away. He wishes everyone could do that to their enemies. The high priest shows up. Papageno wishes he were a mouse so he could hide, but the girl says to tell the truth. The next song is from later in the second act. The high priest has asked Papageno what he wants. He sings that a little wife would make him happy. The high priest gives him one, then takes her away. Then there is a duet for Papageno and Papagena, the wife whom the high priest has now given back. The violin takes Papagena's part, but they're singing nearly the same words to each other, so it doesn't matter. It's all in German anyway. The violin plays the part as written, so the duet ends up being in close harmony. They sing pa, pa, pa at each other for a while, then sing about having lots of children. I don't know if it's supposed to make sense, but it sounded good. Linda sang well.

Before we broke up, I asked Judy if she was interested in seeing the Adam Fuss exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts with me? She said yes, who's Adam Fuss? I said a photographer. I thought his picture of the patterns made by a water snake swimming was interesting. We could have lunch in the cafeteria. She smiled and said that sounded nice. If she noticed my erection, she didn't say anything.

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