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 EXPOSITORY NOTE FOR MY CHILDREN.  By Gemma Puddle.  This is a work of pure
fiction and bears no relation to past, present or future events,
personalities or reality.  Readers who are under 18, or who may find the
purely imaginary and unreal portrayal of sexual relations disturbing, are
advised and admonished in the strongest terms to read no further.  If there
is a message in this story it is probably a warning.

   * - * - *

   Mr Carter, who has charge of our affairs, has convinced me that there
are facts relevant to the entail of our properties and to your ancestry
that should be set out in writing by me.  As a notary public, he will take
my oath as to the truth of what I write.  As our attorney, he will keep the
document secret until and unless you or your descendants have need of it.

   From the earliest period of my life, I have a recollection of the
marriage of my father to our dear step-mother, then Miss Diana Struthers. I
was just four years of age at the time, and your Uncle Bernard was two.  We
lived at Heath House.  The house belonged to my father's cousin, Sir Peter,
who made it available to us because our father was his heir.  I recall Sir
Peter as the outstanding figure at that wedding, large and hearty, making
much of my brother and of me.  Our family stayed with him at Leveret Park
every Christmas and every August.  If we went to London, we stayed at the
old family house, since given up, off Piccadilly.

   Sir Peter had quarrelled with Lady Elizabeth a few days after their
marriage.  They lived apart.  Mrs.  Anders acted as his hostess.  She was
not received in society, but was very close to our step-mother.  Mrs Anders
was very warm and affectionate to Bernard and I, and equally so to our
half-sisters Virginia, and later Matilda.  Our step-mother's sister, Aunt
Teresa, often made a third at their tea parties.  Our three cousins, Janet,
Katherine and Lucy over-lapped in ages with our half-sisters.

   To leave this affectionate existence in the bosom of my family to go
away to school at Eton College was a shock to me.  It was during my third
term there that Sir Peter died, and my father succeeded as Sir John.  I
returned from school to Leveret Park.  Our step-mother and Mrs Anders were
much as usual, though in mourning clothes.  They now managed the house
together.

   The older boys at Eton had instructed me.  I soon realised that the
young footman who had been promoted to being our father's assistant valet
earned his keep in father's bed, rather than by assisting Jenkins. 
Nonetheless, it was a surprise to see, when looking under a door that was
unexpectedly locked, our father with the chaplain's tool in his arse while
taking Robin's in his mouth.  I thought then that I apprehended the cause
of our having only two half-sisters.

   For this account to be clear and straightforward, I must touch on my own
tastes as well as those of my father.  Despite some not unpleasant
experiences with both older and younger boys at Eton, my interest was and
is fixed in female attractions.  Paid girls are the common resort of such
youthful spirits as I, but they soon came to seem tawdry and uninteresting.

   At the age of seventeen, I took a step which every moralist will view as
utterly reprehensible, but which I have never regretted.  I set myself to
teach my twelve year old half-sister Ginnie the joys of mutual
masturbation, of the employment of our mouths and tongues to please one
another, and finally about the pleasuring of the anus.  We both knew that
she must remain a virgin, but in every other way she proved a willing, apt
and responsive pupil.  It was at her suggestion that I introduced our
cousin Janet to the same practices, and trained her in their enjoyment. 
Janet used to discover good reasons why she should come and stay with us
for months together.

   After a year and a half of carnal pleasures and contentment, Ginnie and
Janet informed me that it was time to initiate Matty and Kate.  I was just
nineteen, and thanked them both solidly and vigorously for these additional
birthday gifts.  Matty and Kate were so nearly of an age, and so alike one
another, that they had several times exchanged identities with one another
for a day as a piece of childish funning.  The elder girls and I started
joint lessons for the two of them.  I recall clearly that I brought both to
climaxes on our third afternoon, but their likeness is such that I am quite
unable to tell which of them is the one in my memory with my semen splashed
on her breasts on that occasion.  Each claims it was she.

   The full satisfaction of four females soon proved to be even beyond my
youthful capacity: an experience which incidentally revealed to me the
falseness of the Mohamettan teaching on marriage.  Fortunately, when he
returned from Eton that summer, your Uncle Bernard was more than happy to
share the masculine part with me.  It was a happy time as I, and following
me your Uncle Bernard, found our footing as grown men, and the girls grew
up to an age when they could be launched in society.

   Your Aunts Virginia and Janet came out in successive seasons.  Bernard
and I squired them through the season's events, and heartily approved of
the suitors they each accepted.  We took our farewells - as we thought of
them - two nights before each wedding.  In Ginnie's case, I experienced a
delightful ejaculation in her arse at the same time as Bernard achieved his
climax in her mouth.  For Janet, we each took the other part.  Both your
aunts went to their husbands as virgins, but as women with a full and well
founded confidence in their ability to satisfy and please a man's body.

   In the next season, Matilda and Katherine were launched together.  Their
very likeness gave them an eclat, as their mothers hoped.  The difference
in my feelings for the two whom appeared so similar was soon borne in on
me. I was deeply and immovably jealous of Matty's suitors, but treated
Kate's just as I had those who dangled after Ginnie and Janet.  It was a
day in May when Matty and I walked in the Park and confessed that we were
deep in love with one another.  When we returned to the house, Kate
understood without a word said.  Our absolute despair began to lighten when
she said that she had seen it coming.  Matty and she would simply have to
exchange identities permanently.  There was, of course, no legal or
religious objection to "Kate" and I marrying.

   And so it came to pass.  Katherine managed all the arrangements.  Your
Aunt Virginia was persuaded to invite all of us to her new house in August,
without our seniors.  Matty and Kate found reasons to dismiss both their
personal maids.  From the moment that we arrived at your Aunt Virginia's,
when she carefully greeted Matilda as Kate and Katherine as Matty, the
girls exchanged identities.  They each wore the other's clothes.  None of
Virginia's servants noticed our occasional slip in using the old names.  I
wrote a letter to Kate's father, Uncle Samuel, saying that I would call
upon him to ask for his daughter's hand.

   We thought that we had deceived everyone successfully until we met my
step-mother, Mrs Anders and Aunt Teresa at Leveret Park.  They
congratulated us on our cleverness, but confessed that they knew, of
course; as they also had known for years of our loving attentions to each
other's genital parts.  Our only consolation was that they let slip that
they had planned for the possibility that Matty might be increasing by
then. She was still a virgin.

   They called in our father and Uncle Samuel, and had us listen to an
explanation of our parentage.  When our step-mother gently told me and
Bernard that Mrs Anders was our real mother; she had not died as we had
been told at the time of Bernard's birth; the shocking surprise to us was
also in a degree natural.  We had always looked on Mrs Anders as nearly our
mother.  Our father explained.  Sir Peter, with his failed marriage to Lady
Elizabeth, could have no legitimate children.  None the less, he craved a
son to be his heir to the entailed estate.  Our father himself was the
legal heir if Sir Peter did not have a legitimate son, but he himself was
not sufficiently attracted to women to be likely to have sons of his own.
Therefore Sally Anders, who was in love with Sir Peter, had legally married
our father so that Sir Peter could beget sons by her who would inherit. 
Myself and your Uncle Bernard were the result.  Mrs Anders' "death" as our
father's wife had been legally established with false certificates and a
funeral, so that she could go back to Sir Peter.  She had changed her name,
her colour of hair and her style of dress, and no questions had arisen.

   Diana, our step-mother, had long been a friend of our mother.  She was
taken with the idea of mothering us motherless boys.  She well knew that
her marriage to our father was bigamous in law, but thought that was of
little importance as she expected to bear no children.  To their mutual
surprise, our father and she had pleased one another sufficiently to
conceive Ginnie.  Our step-mother had also found a role helping her sister
to keep Uncle Samuel satisfied.  The reason Matty and Kate resemble one
another so closely is that they have the same real father as well as
mothers who are sisters.  Aunt Teresa and Diana dropped into what was
evidently an old disagreement about whether the girls were actually
conceived on the same night of Uncle Samuel's birthday, or on different
occasions.

   The upshot of this account, as it affected Matilda and me, was that we
were legitimate brother and sister in the eyes of society, in law
illegitimate half-brother and sister, and in fact not related by blood.  It
was Katherine, appearing as Matty, who first burst out in laughter.  None
of us could resist following her example.  Our father, for so I still term
him, then had Robin serve us with champagne.  We toasted all our pasts, and
then most seriously toasted our futures.

   All our seniors were agreed that Katherine must remain Matilda, and
Matty, Kate.  I put it to our father and Uncle Samuel that they must settle
it amongst themselves unto whom I should apply for my "Kate's" hand, but
please to decide the matter without delay.  It was possible that by evening
my Kate would be expecting a child.  To my surprise, your Uncle Bernard
stepped forward at that point hand in hand with Lucy, and asked if she was
indeed Uncle Samuel's daughter.  When Aunt Theresa replied "Yes, of
course", Bernard requested permission to ask for Lucy's hand.  Even though
she was only seventeen, she also might be in interesting condition by
dinner time.

   Lucy jumped into his arms and wrapped her youthful legs around his trunk
in a most shameless manner, saying "Oh do let him ask, pater.  If you do, I
promise I won't say yes or let him into my quim until nearly the end of my
season.  It will be such fun keeping him on a string." Aunt Teresa and
Diana caught each other's eye, to the utter ruin of the severity of their
countenances.  They giggled like naughty schoolgirls.

   Uncle Samuel whiffled for a moment.  Then he said with asperity.  "You
are a younger son, Bernard, with his way to make in the world.  If you have
to squire that chit for the best part of a year, I do not suppose that you
will be able to keep your mind on business, should I take you into the bank
as I intended.  If you and she are set on one another, my advice is to take
her upstairs straight away and tup her until she gets a baby." Your Uncle
Bernard replied ""My dearest wish is that Lucy will settle down with me,
sir.  I think that will be easier and sweeter after she has had her season
in society.  So with your permission, until she is ready to give up her
virginity, I will continue to pleasure myself and her in other ways." Our
father laughed again, a laugh echoed by Robin to his immediate
embarrassment.  " He has been licking and buggering her for four years to
my knowledge, Samuel.  Best leave it at that until they are ready." "Very
well, John.  So be it.  Will you join Theresa Diana and I in bed to sort
out Alan's problem of who is his bride's official father?" "And bring
Robin, John.  He is sweet," said Diana.

   After dinner, they made me ask for your mother's hand through Robin, as
spokesman for the two of them.  Once it was established that I had indeed
taken "Kate's" virginity before dinner, Robin on their behalf laid down an
extraordinary "penal" condition of their consent.  I must allow my father,
Uncle Samuel and Robin himself regular access to my bride's arse until the
wedding.  Your mother laughed, and said it must be Robin first.  If he, who
really was not interested in women could do it, then her father and Uncle
Samuel were welcome to their turns.  Aunt Teresa said, "You see my dears,
your step-mother and I have always suspected that John had that sort of
interest in "his" younger daughter, and Diana suspects that Robin shares
the same fantasy.  This is probably the last opportunity to settle the
question, and of course we could not leave Samuel out.  We know he has
lusted after his daughters every bit as much as Noah ever did." Matty, I
use the new names, added that since Bernard and I were promised elsewhere,
her behind and mouth would be available also, without any special
conditions.

   The whole company trooped in when Robin addressed himself to Kate's and
our father to Matty's behinds in the great bed.  We thought to put them off
their probably uncertain stroke, but both buggerings proved prolonged,
successful and enjoyed by the ladies concerned.  I accepted the condition
on which I was to wed your mother.  Lucy leant gracefully over the bed as
the others finished.  She then settled her arse back onto Bernard's prick
in a most proprietorial way.

   In the morning, we all resolved that apart from the exchange between
Kate and Matty, we would continue to act as though all the apparent
relationships between us were as society supposed them to be.  And so we
have all acted ever since in the public eye.

   What occurred after privately between us is almost entirely not material
to this document.  None the less, you my four dear children should be
assured that you are the legitimate issue of your mother and I.  However,
you should also know that your cousins Cyril and Charles, Matty's twins
born after her husband's death, are your half-brothers.  I consoled Matty
at your mother's suggestion.

   As a matter of record, I should also note that your late Aunt Lucy
declared that the only possible father of your cousin Alice was Robin, the
valet, although he never ejaculated semen actually into her quim.

   Your affectionate father,

   I, Sir Alan Peter Foster Smith, Baronet, of Leveret Park in the county
of Leicestershire do take oath and swear ........  1