Degrees (Fahrenheit)

* 65F Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night

* 60F Californians put on sweaters (if they can
find one)

* 50F Miami residents turn on the heat

* 45F Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

* 40F You can see your breath

Californians shiver uncontrollably

Minnesotans go swimming

* 35F Italian cars don't start

* 32F Water freezes

* 30F You plan your vacation to Australia

* 25F Ohio water freezes

Californians weep pitiably

Minnesotans eat ice cream

Canadians go swimming

* 20F Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes

Miami residents plan vacation further South

* 15F French cars don't start

Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

* 10F You need jumper cables to get the car going

* 5F American cars don't start

* 0F Alaskans put on T-shirts

* -10 German cars don't start

Eyes freeze shut when you blink

* -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build
an igloo

Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects

Miami residents cease to exist

* -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you

Politicians actually do something about the
homeless

Minnesotans shovel snow off roof

Japanese cars don't start

* -25 Too cold to think

You need jumper cables to get the driver going

* -30 You plan a two week hot bath

Swedish cars don't start

* -40 Californians disappear

Minnesotans button top button

Canadians put on sweaters

Your car helps you plan your trip South

* -50 Congressional hot air freezes

Alaskans close the bathroom window

* -80 Hell freezes over

Polar bears move South

Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game

* -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets
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