Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 This is the stuff borne of frustration...



   *right before a virgin sacrifice* Boy: Can you grant me a last request?
Guard: Sure.
Boy: I want to make love to a woman.
Guard: ...  You just don't get it, do you?

   Guy 1: You frustrate me.  Guy 2: Sexually?  Oh, I didn't know you had
those feelings for me.  Guy 1: (It's nice to know you think so highly of
yourself)/(I don't know about you), but I prefer to grab onto some large
things.  Guy 2: What, you don't want to grab onto my large thing?  Guy 1:
Oh no.  Girls are clearly superior products for this use, many more handles
and features, and 50% more holes.
Boy: Well, it's easy to play this since I have a Wii at home.
Girl: Well, I have a Wii Fit.
Boy2: So you both play with your Wiis at home?

   My loins ache to be inside her.  I ache to be beside her.  I wish to be
'neath her.  I want to lay into her.

   I wish to invade and penetrate deep within your Russian interiors.  And
once I'm exhausted, I will withdraw.  But first, my men must be protected
before my invasion begins.

   There are some girls I like There are some girls I don't I don't know
why All I can say is this Shes the girl of my dreams