"Hi Jo," said I, checking her out. 'Lookin good, keed,' I'm thinking.

"'Mornin' sweetie," replied Jo. "Fire me up one of them Camels."

"Here ya go."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks. Love these straights. I don't understand people who smoke filters."

"So...what do you want to do today?"

"You're off, right?"

"Yup."

"You holding?"

"Uh huh."

" Goody! Let's go to the park." She said, "I want to swing."

"Ok."

She turns to go upstairs to our apartment at Harry's Apartments, then she turns back, "I love how you wake me," she says.

"I love waking you up."

"I still can't believe you actually married me." She smiles, "I'm so lucky."

"Yup."

"I love you."

"Here now, let's not spoil a good thing with that mushy stuff." I laugh, pause. "I love you, too."

She huffs a little. "I'll go get ready." She asks, "where is it?"

"In the wood box. Sandoz Pharmaceutical, Swiss, very pure. You'll love it. "

"Ok...you'll watch out for me?"

"Always," I told her. "You know I can stay in control." Or at least fake it.

We do the morning chores. I cooked, she washes. I do the laundry, she folds and puts it away. We make the bed. There's always the last minute look, looks good, we can come home...Yup, we're ready. We both pee, and drop. I play a couple of songs on the guitar...just to keep in practice. I'm playing a lot more bass in the band since we got a rhythm player. I don't sing lead as much as I used to. When I feel the first rush, I put it away, check the windows and lock the backdoor. (which is stupid, we leave the front door unlocked. This is a really small farming community...even if it is the County Seat. We even leave the car keys in the ignition, I will not drive tripping!) Out the front door we went.

She said, "I wasn't even trying to suck it. It just slid in." She giggles a bit. "Was it ok that I did that?"

"Sure, you know I love Kurt, too, was it ok that I did Vickie?" I asked. "Well, WE did Vick!"

"Sure did, didn't we!" she laughed. "She's amazing. It's hard to believe she's 18. She looks like an innocent 12 year old with tits."

Vickie comes out of the bedroom, "you're talking about me, my ears are burning. Whoa...I most fell down." Vick staggers a bit. "That was quite the ride you two gave me. I'm wore out."

We both start to crack up. "Vickie, you look like you just walked out of church...except for the see through blouse. How come you can look so pure and perfect and be so raunchy?"

"Just lucky, I guess. Where's Kurt?"

"The downstairs neighbors wife borrowed him about two hours ago." I cocked one ear." Listen, you can hear the headboard whacking the wall."

"So that's what that noise is." Jo said, "I thought we had woodpeckers."

"Kurt is NOT a Wood pecker," laughed Vickie.

"Nope," said Jo. "Kurt's pecker is not wood!"

"But he gets morning wood," laughed Vick.

We all crack up!

"Bill's back" said Jo.

I groaned, "he brought his tits."

"Hot Damn," exclaimed Vick, "that's a rack!"

"Holy shit," said Jo, looking down at hers. "Talk about feeling inadequate. Jesus!"

As soon as the two get in the door, the girls grab Bill's tits and hustle her into the bedroom. Five minutes later, Jo hollers, "King Cheese, get yer butt in here. You gotta see this."

Bill's tits is handcuffed to the bed and her braless beauties are standing straight up. There's no sag or flop anywhere, she's yelling for Bill to save her. Jo reaches down and squeezes a milky white one. "There ain't no justice! They're REAL. Now I'm really pissed about mine!"

Vickie pinches a pink puffy nipple and it pops out an inch. "Absolutely unfair! And she's a Real blond...we checked."

Bill is dying from laughter, "Chione, I told you so. You have the best breasts in the State.

"Chione? Greek Goddess of snow?" Jo is a mythology nut. "Your parents named you perfectly. I'll bet you burn to a crisp in the summer."

"I do," said Chione. "I can't tan to save my ass!"

"Let her up," said Bill. "I have a something for you guys to see. Everyone in the car. Where's Kurt? He needs to be in this, too."

"Kurt's busy...listen." I said... Bump...bump...bump...bump...

Vick said, "He's been down stairs for two solid hours. We'll have to go without him." ...Bump...Bump...bump...bump...bump...CRASH! We broke up!!

"He broke the bed! He broke the bed! How is she going to explain that?"

Door slam. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump

"Ah, guys. We need to get out of here...NOW!"

"Yes, Kurt!!" We are all laughing and carrying on as we head down the stairs. Harry has his door open and he's grinning...his silence is going to get him a blowjob at the very least. The neighbors wife grabs at Kurt, "you gotta fix the bed. Please!" She's a babe we went to school with, so we all go look. It's an easy fix, the rails popped out and the slats fell. Nothing was destroyed. We put it all together, she kisses Kurt, and we march out to Bill's car.

Bill drives south on the four lane. It's 10 PM and pretty dark..we pop up over a little hill and there, three miles ahead, spread out over a quarter mile, are ALL the police, ambulance, and fire vehicles in two counties with their flashing lights running wild...it's enough to cause an epileptic to Gran Mal. There's red, blue, orange and yellow flashers and more coming and going in both directions. There are spotlights shining over the road and those deep red flares scattered all over the road, and spluttering in the ditch and people waving them in strange patterns. It's VERY intense!!! There are cars and trucks and schoolbuses just EVERYWHERE. The fuel truck looks like it exploded when the lead schoolbus hit it dead in the side and two more buses piled into the fire. One of the buses is on its side in the ditch and there's a couple of cars under it. There are charred cars in the median ditch. It IS A MESS! Charred and battered bodies are scattered about like dolls after a mean brother tossed them. There are emergency workers picking up body parts and trying to match them to the bodies...and it really stinks. We - are - in - shock!..This is truly disgusting and we are all MAJOR pissed at Bill for bringing us to see it.

The Police have cleared one lane to traffic and Bill has THE COLOSSAL NERVE TO DRIVE TO THE CORNER AND TURN AROUND!! Now we're driving back THROUGH it. It was bad before...now it's up close and personal and we're still tripping!! Bill gets through it and we all breath again. He stops, opens the door, reaches down , and picks up something and tosses it in Jo's lap...it's a HAND. A Severed HAND!!! Jo lost it! She is screaming at Bill, "Bill, I'll get you for this...you can count on it. Never...and I mean NEVER, fall asleep before I do! You had better call the Cheese every night to make sure I'm asleep before you go to bed because I - will - get - even!"

Remember I mentioned that Bill was kind of flakey? Ten years after, Bill still had the hand in a gallon glass jug filled with alcohol... Gross and Grosser!!