Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 This might, or might not conclude the ongoing mindscrew that happened in
{\Parent Directory/Gender...} No promises either way.  Story Codes:

   {MI NS Roma Cons.  FT/Os Femdom MC Roma LDR.} O as a character code
means Object, probably no dialog from any of them, but they're all Messages
of some sort.  A form of nonverbal communication.

   "Lezly" {FF Pseu Saph Rape Fant}

   Linkin Park wannabes, but just the sidestage opening act.  Sigh, sit
back, and prop the tin on the binoculars. 

   Orion 9x63 on a camera tripod.  Not the best stuff I got, but it rolls
well.  The home-bums don't give up a lot of cigarettes, but they usually
have papes.  Lick, and stuck with a twist on one end, the other pinching to
a nice mouthpiece, so I flipped it over.  Lit it off my butt, and flip it
off.

   "Nice view up there?" Hippy/ster chick, looks like she can't pick a
subculture.  Pan over in the general direction of the main stage.

   "Not yet," still setting up, "Wanna see?"

   Young, old enough to get tartoos, tribal shoulder cap, nautical star,
"Is that cuniaform?" Around front, "here, step up on the bumper," I had to
get down, reach out, "uh, gimme your hand" put it on the bar around the
cargo platform.  "Put your leg up on the windshield.

   (A)narchy tramp-stamp.  Almost predictably.  "Yeah," she pulled up, with
help.  "It's my name, Heather."

   "There's Cuniaform for Heather?" Serious tan.  Sunbleached hilights. 

   She shook her head, and the friendship bracelet plaits swung like Tarzan
vines.  "It's phonecian, phonetic unlike Egyptian."

   I chuckled, sat back on the folding chair, handed her the joint.  And a
lighter, not sure this tiny platform could support a lap-dance, but willing
to risk it.  Her hips, nice ones, swayed subconsciously.

   "I'm Lebonese," looked white, well tanned, but cute.  Flat midriff,
fucking navel piercing.  Muscular flay and, using them.  "You're gay." She
guessed.

   I looked up, "Or something," handed the joint back.

   "Good stuff." Power hit it.  "Knch!" Didn't blow it, I took another
hit.  "Are you a vendor?"

   Yeah, you can rip off the menus, and paint over the sign, but it was an
icecream truck, once.  "Couldn't get in?" I shook my head.  It's not an all
ages show.  "Keep it." She tucked the Roach in her bra.

   "I'm going to UNM," student ID, math.  That would be 20. 

   "Huh!" Wasn't carding her, but she made it easy.  No pockets, nor purse.
It's easy when they buy your drinks.  "I'm an Artist, but my current
project wasn't finished."

   Impromptu festival out in the Desert.  Short drive from Taos, Las Vegas,
Santa Fe; "I seen you around Madrid?"

   "I hang up there sometimes.  I got friends there." She bends over the
binoculars. 

   "Let's get this party started!" She sways her hips.  Damn fine hips.

   "Huh!" I hold onto the bar, and try to drop down gently, but my back
still bitches.  A lady doesn't say, but I'm in my 40s, and no lady.  She's
bi, at least, and not shy about flirting with an older woman.

   Probably not a Sadist, sitting down on the folding chair.  Free show,
braless, up the fallen baggy top, with a real low neck.  And a wallet
thing, hanging around on a leather lace.  Like a badge holder, but
handmade.  Looked like swede, small young perky tits.  No necknife.

   "Huh!" Light a cigarette, "You want to cum in, see what I'm working on?"

   "Yeah," Climbing down is easier, when you're young.  Those shorts, a
frayed seam away from a skirt, blue panties.  I opened the back door, and
stood on the bumper to help her down.

   Like a long dynamic hug, she slid down me, I caught her by the ass, and
backed sideways in.  Not a lot of room, with the bed, and reach-in cooler. 
I fell back, with her on top of me, giggling.

   She turned back, had to reach for the door.  "You're a sculptor," she
looked back at the carved wooded arms, and legs cargo strapped to the wall,
and ceiling.  I sat up.

   "Yeah," no hurry.  The music was loud.  She felt a wooden knee, down the
calf.  She's not just bi-curious, I could tell.  Nice smooth legs, not even
stubble.  "Or something?" She felt back.

   "Huh," don't kill the mood, Heather.  "I was Gay, then I broadened my
horizons;" Molested a little, whatever.  "It's complicated," bygones.  Good
kisser, don't just dive right in, tongue first.  Damned buttons on her
cutoffs.  Pretty loose, and comfortable, I guess.  Loose enough to just
push the crotch out of the way, feel her panties.

   Young and experienced means getting an early start.  "Ever been Molested
before?" She nodded, " Another woman?" Smiling, and biting her lip.  It's
okay, you don't have to talk about it.  Probably told not to, equality
means everything, we can be just as sick as men.  Just less likely to be
reported.

   Homely girl, exotic, but that's a big nose.  So, make her feel pretty,
obviously extroverted, histrionic, 'look at me' as a fashion statement,
lucky she wasn't raped.  First, she might have been after her body image
was reinforced.

   "Oh, she wasn't gay, either." Another smiling nibble.  She reminds me of
her, catching onto the Fantasy.  "She married my uncle, cheated on him with
everyone, even my dad." Slut, oversexed nympho, role-model.  "I like
predators.  Rape." That raised an eyebrow.  " I never got raped, by a
woman."

   Yet, "Like it rough?" She nodded.  "Got a safe word?" Shook her head. 
"Say 'Uncle if it gets too intense." The seem over her crotch was rather
worn, white with exposed cotton, like the back pocket patches, possibly by
a bike-seat.

   "Uh!" It snapped, eventually.

   "What kind of Rape?" I whispered.  She looked at me, ?  "Bully,
Romantic, Sadistic, or Charming?"

   She gave it some thought, "Bully, ah"

   I slapped her panties.  "Filthy spic!" I grunted, and rubbed it in.  Fat
puff, under the worn cotton.  Fap! 

   "Uh!"

   "Don't scream," I held her mouth, "Don't make me hurt you." Had to feel
out the crack, force the padded cotton in with my fingertip.

   "huH!".  Sucked in gasp, excited.  Stupid little girl, doesn't even know
how good she got it.  So young, and niave, getting raped is easy.  Just
Tease them, then "Just Say 'no!'."

   "Noh!?" Huh!  Not 'Uncle,' that also gives you the freedom to fight
back, struggle, scream for it to stop when it won't, unless you cry mercy.

   "Wore out cunt, you Whore.  What'd you expect, going out likeat." Force
her over.  Behind her, the Retaliatory position.  No blitz attack, but I
feel it.  Him, that coward has to sexually harass to feel like a man. 
"This what you want, slut?"

   Shaming, dehumanize the victim to patch up the cracks in his self
image.  "No, stop!" She squirms, "You're hurting me!" Panting, don't grip
her arm hard enough to bruise.

   "You don't know pain you privileged twat." Switch to her neck.

   "Ah!" Slap her ass.

   "Your momma didn't teach you no Discipline!".  Her cunt,

   "Owh!"

   "Your daddy fuck you?"

   "Mh!" Bitey grin.  She likes that Fantasy.

   "Turn you out to his friends?  Fucking Whore, I better put some gloves
on to touch you."

   She panted, shivered, didn't get up, just lay there, bent over the end
of the bed.  Pretty tight in here, hot despite the reflective paint.  Let
her get good and worked up, the ultimate domination is Denial.  Leaving
them tied up, still in earshot so they can call them, but she squirmed, and
pulled down her underpants.

   "Snh!" Moist.  I shivered a little, it was hot in here.  Why I needed
the electric cooler, for the Wax Mask.  I grinned a little, pulled out the
Cold bottle of lube.

   "Ah!" The nitrile snapped on my palm.  And the worn denim of her new
miniskirt.  Rub it in, down, slip around the hanging tail, and feel
around.  Probably won't need more lube, so I set that down.  "Hhuh!" She
was drooling, from her mouth, but very damp.  I do wait for a drop to run
down, felt the wrinkled skin.  " Nh!"

   I rubbed under her braids, and shit to reassure her.  Jabbed into her
clit again, swirled out some more juice, and slipped it down, and up her
hood.  Decent sized.  For someone so young, and petite, I got down, and
held up the hanging seat of her broken shorts.

   "SnhhhhhH!" Not quite touching her with my nose.  Hairy, sweaty, dirty,
not a hint of soap.  Even a little stale onion smell.

   "Do you have Herpes, Heather?" Serious question. 

   "No."

   "You sure?".  I thought, "What about Hep-C?"

   "Uh uh," she shook her head, "I get tested." Slut.  Not shaming, those
services are free.  They lay you at the Plasma donation places, where they
also screen for AIDS.  They at least ask 'have you ever exchanged money, or
drugs for sex?'

   "Hehehe, you want it?" Breathing on her wet spot.  She nodded, " Say
it."

   "Yes, I want you to eat me out."

   "Filthy fucking twat," deny myself a little too, "I should douche you
with whiskey first." Kiss it, lick my lips.  "Mm!"

   Here's the problem, girls.  Too clean is a thing.  Yeah, it's nasty, but
it's fucking sex.  Dirty messy sweaty stinking sex.  It's not supposed to
be clean, we're animals.  This is a leftover of the Rape den harem days. 

   Why we still have Rape fantasies, too.  I mean women, we don't even
understand it, because it's irrational.  It doesn't have to make sense,
because it's wired into the subconscious.  Back of the closet, behind the
drywall, and painted on eggshell.  Society is about hiding those urges,
making rooms for us to do our business, instead of shitting where we stand.

   But it's still there, repressed so we can interact, covered up with
clothes to make up for our lack of fur, but underneath we're still
animals.  That's why we have Rape.  Submissives, and real victims.  Doesn't
mean she's asking for it.  If she really is, she'll ask you explicitly. 
Even if she plays hard to get, it ain't Rape with explicit consent, so get
it.  There's no excuse for rape.

   There, I was getting too into it.  Now I could focus on her.  That's the
problem with the top, she can give in, let the thrill take over, me ravish
her.  I have to keep control, or I'm not dominating anyone.  And I might
escalate to raping her.

   I threw her, gently on the bed.  Or lifted her roughly, don't want to
bash her head on the corner of the cooler, or the walls.  "Huh!" But play
dough, jerk the front of her skirt up, and rub her roughly.

   Short pubes, she shaves her legs, but leaves a neat thatch below her
midriff.  Soft and muscular, supple, Belly dancing?  Pretty popular with
the neospiritual world superstitious set.  Doesn't matter if it's Chinese,
Indian, Egyptian, Mayan, or Navajo.  Make that Pueblo around here. 
Grinding into my hand, I pinch, and pull her lips.

   Mariposa, cute little butterflies of pink skin between the dark swollen
rolls of her labia.  Hairy mons, and tight muscular plateau with the
peirced hole.  Okay, it was kina neat, I could flick it with my tongue like
a clit.  No jewelry down there, tiny ring and ball in her nipple like a
doorknocker for a dollhouse.

   I got another hand, so I play with it.  Tugging it out, and working it
back and forth on the ring.  "mhn!" Not smiling, but biting that lip hard. 
Tongue peirced, too.  On the front, gotten used to talking with it, takes a
couple years.

   Ooh, scars on her hip.  Self inflicted, but not on her arms  Hidden, not
for attention, all of them healed.  Some White deep, though.  I bent over,
and kissed the unmodified tip.  Already hard, a hair growing out under it. 
Long enough  to swirl around with my tongue.

   "hahH!" Blow it dry.  Pleasure, and pain, she tried not to squirm, I
pinched her cunt, and rubbed it together.  "AhH!".  We could get loud, the
concert, hell I could make out the lyrics if I cared to.  Screaming,
sounded like, don't know the band.

   Didn't come for the music.  Saw it from the hiway, didn't keep driving,
had to turn around to the exit, back to the last one, then back up the
sideing road.  Worth the gas, for the kind of kids it attracts.  Not a
venue, probably private land, so no ATM.

   "Uhn!" Burning girl, too dark to see the flush, with all the overlapping
tanlines.  Down to the bra, tank top, sleeveless tee-shirt, like the one
I'm holding up over her head.  Her face, huh. 

   The shame is, she's not ugly.  Grew into the nose,  I guess, but that's
how the Rape Culture works.  Super models obsessing over every perceived
flaw, because a females worth is completely dependant on her
Attractiveness.  So even with the glass ceiling the young pretty one gets
the job.  Lookism, ageism on top of sexism, when a guy basically needs just
a shave and a haircut.  2 bits. 

   "Nh!" Pinching her nipple in my teeth.  Okay, just a nibble, it snaps
back.  I open wide, test her tolerance.  "Unk!" I let go.  "Noh, uh," she
feels blindly for my head, "Don't stop!" Very high, masochist.  Harder than
I can stand being bitten, on the breast, around the nipple, in the
sensitive glands.  Left some welts, might even bruise.  So, I sucked it in,
hard enough to Hickey.  Levee her a feeling to remember me by, for a couple
days.

   Competing with everyone she's been with, some no doubt more memorable
than others.  Her aunt didn't make her feel like this.  She'd be a groomer,
sexually harass her for months at least, escalate to seduction, gentle
molestation, but not Rape.  Too risky, if she knows you.  Safer to Rape
strangers.

   "Mh?" 3 fingers.  Right on, hard, just beating around the bush, the
surprise.  Make it feel like Rape, but peel back slow.  Slip my pinky out. 
Wet, fresh fragrance.  I move down, for a better angle, fuck it was running
down her crack.  Loose, and inflamed inside, hyperaroused.

   "Loose slut.  You been fucked hollow?" cours'not, ultimately it's
designed to push out a human being, with the right prep.  Foreplay for most
of a set, she was about ready to be fisted, but for the bone.  Never had
kids, so her pelvis wasn't wide enough for my knuckles, but loose=\=size. 
2 fingers is plenty, with enough force behind it, and I mean punching her
fat lips with my knuckles.

   ThockThockThockThock.  My pinky, and pointer slapping wet on her
crotch.  Stubbly, she just shaves to her bikini line, or the ones that can
curl out the crotch of her daisy Dukes.  "Agahahah?" I held her throat,
didn't squeeze, but felt her deep racing pulse.

   Denied her clit a while, and she was close, so I sank in.  Palm wet from
squirts forced out by the piston action, spattering my wrist, and up my
arm.  My damp thumb, the ball of it gently slipping the skin up the pink
split fold of her clit.  "AhuhHhH!" Just brushing it with my thumbprints.

   She clenched, and relaxed, twitching inside.  I felt up to a tight
little knot.  The graffenberg, well all girls are unique flowers inside,
but instead of a soft spongey mass, imperceptible sensitive patch, or
almost developed prostate, she had a hard atrophied pea of glandular
tissue, packed tight with nerve endings.

   Between my fingertips, I mashed down hard with my thumb, and rubbed
counter rotating circles, pinching her pubic bone between them.  "Aiee!".
She screamed short, " Uncle, ah fuck!"  I pulled out hard.

   Still cumming, she crossed her legs, hugged them on her side.  Shuddered
breathlessly.  "Hh, hHhH!  Huhn!" No ejaculate, not surprised.  It felt
dry.  Licked my fingers anyway.  "Nhn!"

   "Sorry, but boundaries are ment to be pushed.  I can't find them any
other way."

   "That felt like Rape!"

   "You asked for it." She laughed?  What the actual fuck?  Great, now I
care, so hope she sticks around long enough to ask who fucked her up
likeat.  And how.

   "Yeah, no.  Um" she bit her lip.  It popped out when she smiled.  "That
was incredible.  I mean, I heard.  Womem cam Rape, but I never imagined
how."

   It was a fantasy.  I overbid, but not too much.  The important thing is
I stopped.  I stayed in enough control, or the Bitch would have come out. 
I would still be raping her.

   "Huh!" I nodded, "You got any money?"

   She sat up, pulled down her shirt.  "You're a pro?" 'sights I guessed.

   "Amateur," shrug, "That's my fantasy.  Huh!  It's reassuring, like Rape,
only it's somebody finding me attractive enough to pay for it instead of
take it." Among other things.

   "You know alot about Sex." I pushed open the side window, and propped it
up to clear the air.  She crossed her legs, looked up at me with a sheen of
sweat on her forehead.  "Uh, igot $45?"

   "Good," I checked my clothes, untucked my shirt.  "I'm gonna go get some
beers." Fucking $60.00 cover, but they had Coors Lites in the bottle-cans. 
Open containers, I got 5, and stole caps, so I could carry 4 out in my
cargo pockets.  Security was checking people coming in, didn't really look
at me.  I had the band, so could go back for one of the plastic yards ona
neck strap.  Margaritas, at least.

   "Huh!" Cold, and wet, all I cared about.  Heather hanging out the
window, under the awning, hair down around the spilling neck of her tornoff
shirt.  Braless A cups, don't really need the shirt.

   Talking to Coachella broz, looked like.  "You like Anal?" Not like I
didn't release a cloud of pussy stink right out in the parking lot.

   "How 'bout you?" I clapped him on the shoulders, "You ever been pegged?"

   "Huh?" He got it, "No!" He pushed me back.  "Fuckindyke!".  We laughed,
but he wandered off.  I passed a couple rounds of Silver Bullet up to her,
went around to the door.  Locked, I knocked, once.  She let me in. 

   "Just, teasing," she rubbed my chest.  "Smrq!"  I twisted open my beer,
with a PCSH!  They'd sloshed around in my pockets.  She slipped her hands
down, under my shirt.

   I broke the kiss, "You want to get outta here?" She shrugged, " Thought
I could make some money back, if we stuck around." I gave her her change. 

   "Let me pack it all in," I dropped the prop on the window, and latched
it down on the seal.  Had to climb up for the binoculars, just folded up
the tripod, and the chair, handed them down to her standing in the back
door.  Swung out, so she could hang onto it, at the end of its aircraft
cable.

   "You seen the movie Monster?"

   "Huh!" I get that a lot.  "Yeah, I read the interviews, too. 
Transcripts, mostly.  Eileen didn't look like Charlez Theron, either, but I
got more in common with that character than I'd like to admit."

   "I thought it was pretty romantic.".  She would.

   "Yeah, they made it out to be a love story, and to be fair what's her
nuts, her girlfriend." She giggled, " Well, that's the Fantasy, she's gay,
but Eileen took advantage of that.  To her it was a romance, and I guess
her version of it's more plausible than a psychopath's, but she lied to
herself.  Made excuses, battered wife syndrome." Eileen probably raped her,
but she wouldn't admit that, unless the police got a better interviewer.

   I climbed down, "What's different is she killed for Money.  Hooked
before that, she said they all raped her, or tried to, but psychopath. 
Pathological liar.  I'm sure the first one did, even the next couple two
might have, but that just triggered her escalation."

   "Uh huh?" I secured everything, walked her around the drivers side. 
"You have to climb over," got a nice flash of panties.  "The other side is
busted."

   "You sound like a doctor."

   "Dated one," slammed it, stared her up, dropped in 1st.  Backed in for
the view, and privacy getting on, and out.  "I understand people
intuitively, I'm an Empath, and a Sexual Predator, so I have sympathy too."
She basically filled in what the profiles are called.  "Doctors are more
analytical."

   "A sympathetic abuser?"

   "Yeah," I rubbed her leg, no that we were back on the hiway.  "A Sadist
doesn't get off on pain, it's the reactions, crying, screaming, that pays
off for them.  I'm a Shadenfrau."

   "You're German?" I shook my head, "Keltic, not really all about my
heritage, but a WASC." Catholic, instead of Protestant.

   "Wournos was about Privilege.  I don't know what you heard about that,
but it ain't about quantity, nor even quality.  It's about what you got,
and how you use it.  She was poor, a slacker type, because of her
psychopathy.  Couldn't hold a job, but learned through escalation.  First
sex for money, then living on the run until she triggered to killing, and
robbing Johns.  Now, IDK what went on in her head, I'd love to talk to her
about it sometime, but her sidekick may have encouraged that escalation
with the promise of love.  She can't have that, any more'n she's capable of
morality, but we can try.  Female psychopaths, especially."

   "So you're a Psychopath too." Good listener, college student, but she
raises her hand, so I know she's actually following it.

   "Right, but what kind?  There's one kina normal;" she nodded, so I
looked back at the lane.  "I'm staying in Klines' Corners."

   A couple exits up, by the signs.  "I'm episodic, situational, but
instead of playing the victim to justify it," Eilleen expected the cops to
understand, get off on Self Defense, "I escalated to Raping."

   "From what?" I shrugged.

   "Victim rehearsal for years.  Autoerotic, with toys, I was joking about
pegging that guy, don't even have a dildo any more, but I could probably
whittle one in my sleep."

   "Then what's the situation?" See?

   "Good question, I get turned on by vulnerability.  An opportunity to
exploit, like a half naked drunk girl at a party," or an exhibitionist
outside a concert.  "To molest, that's why I didn't even touch myself back
there," I hooked my thumb, then fished around in my best pocket.

   "Huh!" I handed her my scissors, "You wanna neaten up your skirt?" She
knew how to slip the handles out, and unfolded them in my peripheral
vision. "To Rape, I guess it takes Rage.  I'm still figuring it all out. 
Your, you're never done." SNIP!  "Huh!" Intensely aware of the symbolic
castration. 

   "With victims I'm not attracted to, or I hate, I build up to a psychotic
seizure.  Black out to Rape, torture, and humiliate them.  Don't even
remember it for a while, but that bitch is pure Id.  Selfish, impulsive,
short tempered, sadistic.  Why I know I didn't rape you, I wouldn't have
stopped, probably until the cops showed up," and searched the back, found
the broken down prototype.

   "But you were too willing, enjoyed it, which kept my Empathy engaged."
Didn't even need out much.

   "Can you teach me?" I looked over, ?  "To Rape." I shrugged, pursed my
lip, and nodded.  "Plausibly. " Look back at the road at some point.  Huh! 
If not, you done any prostitution?  Seriously, you give it away, might as
well make a living.  I can teach you how to lower the risk from that.  Tell
you what, IDK enough about you to answer that."

   She's in great shape, but it's Fitness, not strength.  "Doesn't take
much strength, if the victims don't know they're being raped."

   Heather {Ff Plantacy}

   "Huh!" Well I guess she did enough talking.  "My folks got out of Beruit
on the 80s, but waited until they were set up enough.  I'm from Corpus
Christi." Spahn.  Hospital, I nodded.  " So you know, South Padre's like
Fort Lauderdale for Texans, tourist town in summer too, College parties,
and Austin."

   "Austin's a different state of mind."

   "Yeah, then my father's brother got married, and she was a bit of a
gold-digger.  That was a joke, he's a jeweler.  She's a sex addict.  She's
doing 12 steps now, sponsored me for fucks sake, but we don't talk about it
in the meetings."

   Deep breath.  Hold it, and let the memories come back.  "My family is
conservative.  For Texas, only it's Lebonese tradition, we don't wear
burquas, but talking to boys, making eye contact.  We've been back to
Beirut, a few times to see extended family, when my grandparents died...

   Fundamentalists there have Mortars, and Machine guns.  Not just AKs,
pickup trucks with belt fed machine guns."

   "Technicals." That what they're called?

   "Not all over the place, all the time, but the gangs out there are
Muslem vs Christians, and drive around with trucks full of armed men.  In
Texas, they think I'm Mexican, I finally learned Spanish, because they came
up talking it to me.  Which is fine, because they think my family are
Terrorists.  They're Agnostic, my papa thinks religion causes all wars, and
hate crimes.  Not all, but you have to admit, a lot of them.

   But, there's some sexual repression, still.  They don't like my
lifestyle, the first time my brother caught me making put with my
girlfriend, he rattled, and they threw me out."

   "Was this before your Aunt?"

   "Oh no.  I knew her all my life, they got married before I was born, and
we all shared a house.  Not really in Corpus, inland enough to be on the
ground, without stilts.  No crawlspace, it was pretty big.  3 bathrooms."

   "Then you started growing up..."

   "Oh yeah, she didn't touch her kids, but all us girls got raised
together.  My cousins were like brothers and sisters, but I didn't have any
real sisters."

   "Like a step-daughter.  Opportunistic exploiters actually prefer
strangers."

   "Like you?  I don't think she was a psychopath, the way you described
it. Me neither, for that matter

   "Huh, anyway, she let us get away with things.  Mh mother didn't approve
of her daughter's clothes, and she let me wear more reveling ones.  We
played dress up while the boys were out in the yard with their guns.

   It was like having 2 moms, one uptight, and the other, sexually
permissive, but when I got my period.  My mother, huh, her version of The
Talk was all about Men, what they do to women, and girls like me.  She was
raped, never told me about it, but from what she did say, from experience.

   My  grandmother told me.  When her husband died, there was a riot.  Not
all of the violence is revolution, or getting invaded, or sometimes they
aren't successful, but Muslems broke in, gangraped her at gunpoint, and
forced my father to watch.  One raped him too, and they called them
Christians.

   I wasn't, huh!  I'm not old enough to be from that, but they left as
soon as that happened, and then it was years before they had any children. 
But she was paranoid, the way she described my future husband even made it
sound like Marital Rape, and I ran out crying before she was done.

   My aunt set me straight, of course.  Told me that it doesn't have to
hurt, and can even feel good.  Especially if you learn to enjoy it, so she
showed me how.  To masturbate, and touched me the whole time I was growing
up.

   So, I guess the Rape fantasies came from the nightmares my mother gave
me, and my, bisexuality came from my aunt.  I wanted to be a Lesbian, at
first I wanted to be a nun, or something, hide from men, and never have
sex, it sounded so horrible.

   Then I stared screwing around with girls.  I got a girlfriend, turns out
she was Gay, then when we got kicked out, huh.  I stayed with her family a
while.  They're Tejano, really helped me with my Spanish, they didn't know
either, then we got caught again, and the rumor got out.

   And you don't want to be a young Lesbian, in Texas.  They raped her, and
beat her to death.  I got away, but then the Rape nightmares got
overwhelming.  I started acting out, cutting myself, going out, and teasing
guys, until one finally raped me.  I let him, didn't even fight back, but
he hurt me, made me scream to get off.  A real Sadist, he called me a Spic,
too.

   And I guess, I don't know, it got me over how she died.  I understood,
how she felt, and didn't feel guilty that I survived.  With some therapy,
huhn!  I guess I'm getting better, but now.  I don't know if I can escalate
any more.  Like you said, I'm burning out, I burned out when I was
nineteen, and now I don't know what to do.

   Your rah't.  Maybe prostitution is a better choice.  I just thought
being the raper might be nice, for once."

   "Yeah?" She chuckled, "Well, we can play around with that, see how you
do, but if you're serious about hooking, you might have to clean up a
little.  No, I like it, but it's bad for business.  The good Johns have
certain standards, the worst are more likely to be attracted by the
neohippy party girl look."

   Oh.

   Ruth {FF Fant/Plan}

   I kept a hand in her panties, but she didn't get turned on by all that. 
Better than watching her face, there's no straight point A-to-B out here in
the mountains, through valley roads, and passes, had to snake around Pecos,
turn left at Las Vegas instead of taking 25N, southwest toward Madrid, and
Santa Fe, the hills, and mountains got dryer, pines giving way to pinon,
nopal, chamisa, and sage scrub.  Leveled out, plateaued.

   She squirmed, and relaxed.  Thighs tightening around my fingers talking
about the violence, Rapes, riots, and guns.  "You know how to fight?"

   "Been fighting all my life.  No training, just a lot of experience."

   "Where in Kleine's Corners?" I slipped my hand out to downshift. 
Deizel, no half gears, a turbo in line.  Or parallel, actually, exhaust
driven.  Van cab, though.

   "Outskirts, not really in Klines;" Some boring navigation, to think.

   "Who're you staying with?" UNM is down in Albuquerque. 

   "My boyfriend, he's working tonight." Getting on toward sunset, but on
the wrong side of the 'Christo's.  The concert had an early start, so many
bands.  Or ' Local Alternative Festival,' whatever.

   "He's cool, we have an open relationship."

   "What kind of open relationship?" Hm?  "For 3 somes, he like to watch?"

   "Oh, he's bi, too.  So we can have sex with guys, and girls too.  Um,
he's a bit of a bottom."

   "When's he get off?"

   "Swing shift at Allsups?  Usually about ten, or midnight on a Saturday. 
Huh, if he doesn't hook up with a trucker, or something.  Bikers, he likes
them."

   Drop it in Park, Reverse gear, in front of a Stuccoed ranchouse, looked
like.  Sideways Shotgun style, in the shadow of a mountain, but well clear
off the scree slope.  Fallout from the Cliff at the top, "Nice view.  You
top him?

   "I'm trying.  Fucking is harder than it looks, I got a strapon, but I'm
not very good at it."

   "You hurt him?"

   "He likes it," she smiles.  Nodding, not biting anything back. 

   "Yes, but Anal is some pretty advanced shit." Huhah!  No pun intended. 
"Uh, so's Dominating, if you don't know how;" nor have it in you.  " Let's
see what you got," I chucked my chin, and she socked me.

   "Uh!" Not a slap, cute little grunt, solid pinch to the cheek. 
"Huhaha!".  Good, you're quick, but that's about enough for Pain
Compliance.  In a Rape situation, or defense you want to follow up to take
advantage of surprise, and recovering from it."

   "Told you, I know how to fight."

   "That full strength?  Yeah, well your advantage is speed, not power. 
You got about enough for a knockout, or to daze him if you hit the temple,
or you can knock the wind out of him with the solar plexus." Tap under her
sternum, "Set up for that with an uppercut, that's a tough shot."

   She nods.  "What about Rape?"

   "Well, it's incredibly risky, for a man raping a woman, took me a couple
years to work up to it, and I always been strong." Had to lose a lot of
weight, too.

   "Uhm,..  Right, even if you don't beat them up first, you have to know
how to end it, and without extensive training, your best bet is relentless
strikes until you have an opening for a finisher.  Knockout, or they submit
enough to get out of it.  You don't want to wrestle, hit, and run.  Then
you can regroup, or draw them out where you can dance around them.

   To Rape, you're better off coercing them into a disadvantage.  If you
can talk them into Bondage, do that.  If not, kick their ass, and tie them
up, but can your boyfriend fight?  Shit, well you'd need a sparring
partner, and you don't want me.  If you trigger me, I'll destroy you, and
Rape you for real." Or the Bitch will.  She hasn't killed, yet.

   God/dess {TIO...O NS}

   The garage door went up, and a bike rolled in, cranks first. 
o\Bacchetta\ I flicked off my ash.  "Hey, Meghan." Her arm pushes the back
of the seat around this side of the door...  "Have you gained weight?"

   "Left about 15#s on the way up," she snorted, and effortlessly hung up
her bike.  Just reached out, and stuck it on the hook by the back tire.

   "What's this about?" I didn't get up.

   "This it?" She turned to the tarp, and lifted it up.

   "Goddess:" I nodded, "Unfinished, handcarved wood mated together with
pegs, slots, and biscuits." She doesn't like title cards.  I picked up my
glasses, rubbed the corner of my mouth, sighed and got out another.  "Want
me to put this out?" I lit it from the ember, and stubbed it out.
"Abstract, but that's why she didn't finish her.  She didn't have a more
detailed image to form." Faceless, sexless, legs crossed so it could be

anything in there.

   I keep thinking she'll come back for it, so we can catch her, and give
her the help she needs.  And register her, as a potential threat to
herself, and others.  "Huh!" She pulled the tarp back over that wooden
Barbie thing, and the toolbox cabinet of her pedestal.

   "You ever go hiking?"

   "As a boy," I remember, "They made me, I didn't like it."

   "Come on," she held out her hand, "I'll drive." Snaps for my keys.

   "What's this about?" I followed her to the jeep.

   "It's a surprise."

   .

   .

   .

   A functional mute beside me, I stub it out unfinished, and let the smoke
out.  "Look at you," she looks back sideways, then back at the road. 
Concentrating, paying attention.  How she does it on any bike, much less
that flying prow of a recumbent, a figurehead in lycra, and loose flapping
cotton.  She grunts, and downshifts.  Looks back up, to turn.

   "How are you, recovering from her?"

   "Elvis Costello." And Hubert.

   "Uh!" she rolls her eyes, "She drove me nuts with that song!  I liked
it, to start, but she just had it on repeat."

   "Which one?"

   "Sweet pear," atonal, "Sweet pear!"

   "I know the one." Those who say they loved you would never dare.  I
sniffed.  "She left me a note, [I admire your taste.]"

   "So Like Candy," she nodded, and bit her lip in concentration. 
Switchback, hairpin, used more gears, and braking than she strictly needed
to.  "It was her favorite album."

   "Huh," roll my eyes, "It was, our album.  She saw my music collection?"
She nodded, "Well so did she, and you know how I like to play music for
therapy?  Well she did for romance as well." She was actually incredibly
romantic, for a fucking child molester.  "It's like 35 through here."

   "27," she glanced up.

   "Right, we don't want to get rear-ended." Right into the tyre carrier,
and (Black Jeep of the Family) cover.  "It's mostly speeders after dark."

   "Mh'kay," she shifted, hunched over the wheel, white knuckle, let up on
the brake.  Leans into turns.

   "Relax," I opened the armrest, and slipped out a CD.  Call me
old-fashioned.

   "Oh the Sisters of Mercy they are not departed, or gone." ~L.  Cohen. 
Maybe a little brainbleach for me.

   "I love the Sisters of Mercy."

   Sigh, o7, lay back.

   "Oh, I'm not goth," she rolls her eyes, "I know, the 3 most Goth words
ever uttered is 'We're not Goth', I think it was The Cure first, but I'm a
Rivethead." Reached up, and rattled the goggles hanging around her neck. 
"Got any Einsturzende Neubauten, Throbbing Gristle?"

   "Psychic Tv," I blinked, and shook my head, "Back at the house."

   "Hm," she nodded back.

   "We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be all
right..."

   Mega {TIO NS}

   "Huh, uh, I smoke too much." I reached down for her hand, held onto it,
turned her around.  "Hun?" She covered her mouth.

   "Surprise." I got out my phone, and let the first few bars float out,
then propped it on a limb.  "She played it, the whole time she was working
on it." Over, and over.

   "I'll watch out for you," a tear, "I'll always be there.  In the hour of
your distress, you need not fear..." She fell to her knees, "In all the
world there's only 1 true love, and finding it's hard enough!" Swelling
brass, "And bless whatever's in the sky above, for bringing you too me, my
love." She sobbed, and I looked up.  She'd been busy, but Larry told me
what to expect.

   But seeing it standing over us, HIRM.

   "God/dess." I nodded against her hair.  "It's us.  I know, but look at
us.  All the beauty she saw, god, I." Choked up a little myself, and
blinked away tears.  She looked up.  "I know," I kissed her eye.  Gritty
greasy makeup, a tang of maskara, and tears of joy.

   "Was my grip to lose, my grip too strong.  It made you want to run away?
And now you're back where I pretend you belong.  I wonder every night, and
day, how long?" Oh good, the guitar solo.

   "Huh," I wiped her cheeks, smeared her makeup.  "I think I have a little
cold-cream here." I handed her the jar, and got out the papers.

   "I swear, this is my prayer, though we're smeared, and scattered in the
atmosphere.  Or lost in the world, across a crowded room.  I am your stupid
lover your wretched fool..."

   'huh!' I didn't have much to say after that.  Flick flick!  "You bring
your cigarettes?" She took it, shaking, and the end brightened.  I licked
my pinky nail, stopped a run.  "She cheated on me, the whole time.  Amber
too, looks like.  When I first came up here, it was her.  Idoru, I guess.
{W.  Gibson} She just kept taking more, and more off until, I guess it
started looking like me.  From the belly up, it was something watching it
appear out of the wood.  She must have finished the face," Hir's, "And the
legs since I left." ...

   Also hirs', from the waist down.  From memory, I might add.  If you've
never been felt up by an artist, run right out and find one.  I remember
her thumbprints on every inch of my skin, and shivered.  I got off once
just from her touching my face, in the dark.

   I clicked around in my phone's memory, can't get that song stuck in my
head.  It'll be there for days, so something to block that earworm.  [Das
Ich] I giggled.  The Id.  A whole lot of albums, though.  Nothing too loud,
or raukus.  Something chill to not spoil the mode, but they're so not a
Ballad band.  Try to remember any instrumentals?

   "Yeah, I know how you felt, how you still feel about her.  I can feel it
in your back, but see this?  With all the pain, and hurt stripped away,
this is you, both of you, exposed to the elements.  Oh, and the lot's for
sale, the landowner packed up, and bugged out when he heard what was going
on down here.  Lesbeeons, byegones.  I'm not sure how the driving access
would work out, but this could be your backyard.  Mh?  Hm!" She smiled on
my mouth.

   "SHush," her dark eyes held mine, in the moonlight.  "Sometimes you talk
too much."

   Lady Midnight {TI ????}

   "Huh, huh, huuuuuuh..." She lay down, and panted beside me.  Switch
tracks.  "huH!  Is there any of that roach left?" She took my cigarette. 
"You don't smoke."

   "Not much," she handed it back, "When I need to.  Mood adjustment."

   "~Larry?" Nod.  As for what came before, I'm not one to kiss, and tell,
dears.  She respects my wishes.  I will say great day in the morning, I
wished for more light.  "It was perfect, coming here at night." I don't
know if I could face HIR in the light of day, yet.  "Yeah, I need to see
what I can scrape together for this place."

   "Ruth."

   Less.

   "You're right," look away, "I."

   "Take your time, I don't need to hear it."

   "Huh!" she was magnificent.  Love at first sight, I swear, it hurt to
admit it, but I think she might have been the love of my life."

   "Hmhm?" She picked up her phone, and chewed her lip, swiping around in
the light of the screen.

   "It's not like the stories, dear.  Huh, they never tell you what happens
when Prince Charming gets Cinderella over the threshold, the honeymoon's
over, and"

   "And you don't want to focus so much on the bad you forget who you fell
in love with.  Uh!" [Das Ich - Dorn (Egodram)] "Here," she bopped
gracelessly.  Just kind of swaying, dreamy, eyes all over the statue.  I
just watched her, nude save for the patch of curls at the front.  And under
the arms, I'd seen.  Hir scent caught the breeze.  Only her face lit, to
change tracks, as needed.  And her mussed up wavy grown out A-line cut. 
The roach burned my fingers, and I dropped it.

   [Garten Eden - Antichrist] "Sounds dark, and." I thought back,
"Ambient." Progressed quickly from the intro, too.

   "Coldwave," she shrugged, and nodded, then set down her phone.

   ([x] Opposite Sex) I blinked.

   "Scorekeeping?" then "Huhah!" with her.  She nodded selfconsciously.

   "Fuckit list," she nods, "I had a lot of catching up to do.  'Casey
Jones you better, watch your speed'." ~G.  Dead.

   "Catching up?" To Charley's high-score, "Quickly?" I don't like the
sound of that.

   "Huh!" I waited...  [Grund Der Seele] scrolled across, and the screen
went dark.  Having climbed up on the dam, I heard her slip into the water
from it lapping out the spillway to the side.  Rather dark, good moon,
dappling through the gaps in the leaves.  "Hm.  I went backwards.  A girl,
my virginity, rape, pseudosaphism, hn Larry.  Found my same sex, what're
the odds?  I mean hundreds of thousands of generations, it was bound to,
once, or twice, but what's the chances it'd be us?"

   Shrug.  "You all ultimately came in to see me." With some overlap with
our endochrinologist.  Was the most qualified in the region, once.  There's
that guy in Vegas, but he's the closest one, it's a narrow specialty.

   "Analingus, anal, receptive, then.  You know, group?  Huh, Bert.  I'm
sorry, I feel like he cheated on you with us."

   "Not if it's in the rules." #1, different set.  "He's been.  Huh, I made
him.  It wasn't intentional, consciously, but you see Hir?  I wanted a man,
I found a boy.  Ruth ever tell you about Stacey?  I know, right?  But she
groomed, and molested her, took her virginity, but it was given willingly.
Huh, well I got manipulative.  12 years without sexual thoughts, it started
out a Sex Addiction group, we didn't have enough members.  Anyhwom, he was
in pretty bad shape, I managed to prop him back up on his feet, dust him
off, and tried to fix him.  It's just so incestuous, huh, I have nitemares
about Ruth, and I, raising Charley Jr.?"

   ...  ([Das Ich - Urkraft (Lava: Glut)...])

   "She made me." Long breath, and sigh.  "I mean Amber was my Wakeup Call
Boss.  Sorry, I know you're not a gamer," sigh loudly, "Right, but she just
woke me up.  You know how I was, waiting?  Well, my damsel in shining armor
was late, but then she hooked up with The Villainess.  You seen Maleficent
yet?  Netflix, we watched it together, and cried." I missed so much at
work. "The morning after, with the wings torn off?  Ooh, spoilers.  I don't
really like fantasy, and fairy tales, but she did."

   "Huh?"

   "So anyway, It wasn't love, I had a lot to learn about lesbians.  They
aren't all like her, but there's more.  Bull daggers, is she really a child
molestor?  I believe it, but she made me feel so young, and beautiful, and
tall, and strong.  She never had an unkind word for me, but she made it
clear, it was about sex, not love.  I know you all have this whole rivalry
thing going.  Two many mommas?  Well, she's the one I needed.  You're
great, fucking fantastinc, mmh!  But Ruth understood me better, and gave me
what I needed."

   "And Larry?"

   "Mh?" She thought, "I needed hirm too, but s/he came along right on
time. We discovered our sex together.  Those are the odds that, byegones,"
she splashed, got up, and dripped.  "Mh, can you hand me the towel out of
my back?  Thinks!"

   "Huh!" [All Grown Up (Spike the Beloved Entertainer.)] "I'm trouble she
said!" Sang along, "Spread out on the floor of her father's house, her
promise was almost undone.  Under her tongue, dissolving her
responsibilities, to finally deny everyone, with every unflattering
comparison."

   "All grown up," Hm, "And you don't care, anymore." I never could hit
that note.  "And you hate all the people that you used to adore.  And you
despise all the rumors and lies of the life you led before..."

   Baritone!  "Did I hear you right, you're feeling hounded, and pushed
around?  You wanna just lay down, and die?  If all of this life has been
such a big disappointment to you, why don't you stop dating some guy, and
go give the next one a trial." I blinked, she said "Guyl" too.

   .  2, 3, 4, I joined her again in the chorus:.  "But look at yourself,
you'll see you're still so young." My god, in the moonlight, "You haven't
earned the weariness, that sounds so jaded on your tongue." Harmony!  I
wasn't sure who was singing to whom.

   Mega {FF Bond MC}

   {Grauasame Toechter - Beleidigte Engel...  Incidentally, Aranea Peel,
about 5'11, matching brown eyes, wavy hair, and freckles.}

   "Hm, Theremin!"

   .

   .

   .

   "Huh!" Good scree-run, looked a bit wider than I remembered, 'huhuh huh,
huuuuuuuh..." Bow, clasping my fist.  Now I can think.

   .

   .

   .

   [Hanzel Und Gretyl - Meisterfrau (Ausgeflippt.)]

   "Come on!"

   'She can drive, but you got to get her going.'

   'She's a complete, and utter bottom,' he'd laughed.

   "Hehahuh!"

   "Now don't start that!" ~Dumbo, duh!

   "Bondage," I slammed the door, "Can you find your way up?"

   [x]?  Very expressive face.

   "Huey," I nodded, "He hated that name." [\] Alpha.  "No DSM, just
Ribbons."

   "uh?"

   "Pink," I nodded excitedly.  "His privates too.  Huh!  He was getting
kind of worn out.  'Commuter cock,' after me, and Larry.  Well, Larry and I
made Troi, this new kid's a Tetra-tet.  Nhim!  We're working it out, it's
all so deliciously complicated." I've got the whole love polyhedron in my
head, "I had to get out the peas, and toothpicks.  Well, I used
mini-marshmallows." The multi-color ones, and those little pinch tape tabs
for organizing notes in hilighter colors.

   "Mhm, dear?"

   "Oh, Ribbons, I've got it all worked out.  I'm gonna call Gary Mark, and
I'm Donna..." Glory can do Lacey, gonna have to come up with a character
for Hubert...  <<<without the piercing.

   "Fantasies?"

   "Huh, kind-of?" I thought, "Just change everything around so what really
happened isn't on the page, but huh." I thought.  "You wanna read them?" I
didn't choke down the dry chuckle, but felt it inside.  "I tied Mark to the
headboard, and sucked him off.  I held it in my mouth to lift his legs up
over him, and worked it in with my tongue...  That kinda stuff." Ditsy
voice, okay, catch on at some point...  Maybe a weight-bench?  We should
probably move that down to the Apartment, since Larry ain't using it no
more.

   "Why Meghan," she fluttered her eyelashes.  His, without the gravity
defying flakes of mascara.  "Are you trying to seduce me?"

   "Depeche Mode," Split the difference?  Barrel of a Gun...  "[Wrong.]" I
like music, "You think I'd be a good DJ?" Suck at it, though.

   "Yeah!" She reached out for the back of my head, "You could probably do
anything, but."

   "I want to do everything, eventually.  Well, you can't do Everything."

   "But you can try." She nods, "My money's on you."

   "Hm," [Sisters of Mercy - Under the Gun (A Slight Case of Overbombing)]

   Huey {MI:.T NS}

   She pumped her fist.  [x] "Maud."

   "Haha!" I got out the composition pad, and flipped back to the
scoreboard.  Looked over her shoulder.  [x] my eyebrow went up, [x] then
the other.  "Huhah!"

   "Yeah," she nodded, "she is a total bottom."

   "Did you have to sign any waivers, or agreements?" She's complicated.

   "NihHo!  Did you?"

   "Well," I shrugged, "For Bondage." Very complicated.  "Twenty," she
looked up, "Seems to be hir minimum age, she can still buy you
wine-coolers. What?  Okay, she took advantage of me, and used me for sex.
Bygones, I didn't wreck that place.  You good?" Dreamy nod, "Good, because
I'm probably going to take some time off." Larry, and Gary, uh.  Well, not
my problem.  "Keep her warm for me, but, some time before my nuts implode."
I finally understand those chapters.

   "Oh, you're tense." I sat down.

   "Switching majors, uh!" My neck pops.  "Huh, Bachelor of liberal shops,
community college.  Next semester, useful skills and stuff."

   "Ruth," huh, "Your momma?  Relax."

   "Huh," roll my eyes.  I need new friends.  "Bygones, seriously."

   "Pilates?" WTF?  "Maud."

   "Yoga," I nodded.

   "What do you do?" She felt around front.

   "Lift weights?" Shrug.

   "You mind?"

   "Huh, I do a little, but I'm so over this asking, and rehashing the same
scenes.  Huh, I feel like I'm just fucking my life away, or I have been,
and I guess it's about time I'd grown up."

   "Good," she lay back, "Wanna cuddle?"

   Huh, "let me pull out the bed." She rolled to the middle.  "Huh."

   "So what do you want to do, I haven't picked either." She kissed the
back of my neck, at the hairline.

   "Not a whole lot, city Ruth looks like she's got it about right.  Make
rent, day labor, in season.  I can hold down this place with a little to
spare." Stroke my dagger beard.  1-up, neither of them can grow one, shaved
my lip.  "You know I can't carry condoms?  I'm a sex-addict.  I know this,
and it sucks, but I need to get on the work-wagon soon, or turn into a
junky.  Huh, should probably quit smoking too." Roll my eyes.  "Turn over,
pull up a bicep.  Hm," into the ends of her hair.  "You're a great
listener, and great for cuddling.  Smch!  Maybe I don't have to give it all
up."

   "Romance?"

   "Yeah," huh!  "I don't think I've had enough romance."

   Meghan

   "Me neither.  That's why I wrote Meganecho, because I got Raped instead
of romance.  Well, Larry helped, with the grammar, last couple chapters,
separating the narration.  That was the best therapy.  He was wrong though,
she didn't sexualize me.  I pressured my dad into getting me a Smartphone,
the girls at school.  Huh, I was never very popular, they didn't know
whether to call me a nerd, or a jock, just whatever I was sucking at. 
"What kinda jock fails gym?" I had issues with coordination."

   "Mhm?" I wasn't tense, but he rubbed my back anyway, and my arm.

   "A phone with buttons, that was easier to fix, and I got into, doing
research.  You ever done a pornsearch with Larry?  You really didn't know
how pervy he is?  Huh, byegones, but I guess I sexualized myself.  My
micropenis shrank enough, well actually I kind of grew up around it,
stopped growing in utero, but when I was born it looked boyish enough, and
when we got to the hospital, the doctor just signed off on it.  ER, busy
night, so I hear.  I never got a full examination, they basically just
cauterized the chord, and saved mom's life.  She lost a lot of blood.  Even
skipped the horribly routine circumcision, would think they'd have caught
it there, or changed my diaper at some point that night?  No?

   [x] Male.  I had an outy.  Shrug.

   So anyways, right, Rule #34.  No exceptions, I mean none, I'm pretty
sure #34A is "And it's probably made in Japan," but that's where I
discovered Futanari, and them Amber came along, and fucked everything up. I
eventually found a F2M Pornstar, Buck Angel, just had to know the right
keywords.  I think Larry's going to look a lot like Hem, maybe not all
those tattoos.  Here, that's what He looks like.

   Hm, I guess I was a serial victim, before her it was my Fencing
instructor, and before that I wanted to learn to fight because of Tyler. 
You know Tyler?  The one that keeps calling me "Faggot," and running? 
Nhihn!  He molested me in middleschool.  I guess we're about 13?  Huh,
bygones, it was just that once, I ran from him, now I chase him, it was all
one big game.

   Oh, fencing because that's what was available.  I came from Privilege,
you know the Heights?  Yeah, well my folks are better off than Maud, and
they don't spend it all on clothes, and collections, and...  Stuff.  So
fencing, until he got me back in, the changing room.  We didn't have
lockerrooms, or showers, uh his studio was up in you know the minimall with
the Bed Bath, and Beyond?  Behind the Red Lobster, and Olive Garden.

   So, he felt me up, and I guess he would've raped me if I hadn't popped
put first.  Hn, you know, my priapussy?  It goes pop, when the head slips
out of the foreskin.  That's how I know I'm turned on.  He, wasn't.  He
said all these horrible things, he didn't hit me or anything, but I still
got scared, and ran, and, huh.  I didn't take Fencing any more.  Called it
in, anonymous, he had kiddie porn, he's in jail now.

   So, that kinda caused some behavior problems.  So we moved here once my
Intersex showed up on the rape kit.  Uh, that was awkward, I didn't like
Gynecologists, because of my condition.  But I've got a wicked Progesterone
imbalance, which also affected my growth.  No T though, or DHT.  His
hairline is starting to pull back at the corners, and thinning in the
crown. He might wear a Yamulke some day, so I see where he gets his
muscles. He just snores quietly.

   I guess I switched to girls, thinking they'd be less abusive, and more
romantic.  Hit the lottery on that one!  Uh!

   "Hm," he's been asleep for a while.  Snoring louder now, nope, not hard.
Back out, arm out from under his head, grab a pillow.  Cover a giggle, it'd
be so easy to molest him in his sleep.  (*) or myself, in the bath.  I can
think about it, not like I'd ever really do anything like that.  Again, I'm
never gonna find another Amber...  Maybe a quick bowl first, one of his
Newport butts, I need to think.

   Bert {TFM DP M Solo NS}

   "Uh!" put my hand up, turn to the bathroom, sigh and get the water
started.  "uH!" [x] DP.  Wash my face over the corner through the shower
curtain, then spray it away getting in.  Getting stubbly, and hard.  WTF?
Been a couple-few days, get it over with.  Doesn't feel like a child, so I
can get into it, the little prickles around the bottom.

   How does that work?  Lots of bent knees, and a pair of smart pumps. 
Looked like about 3-4" heels, the same way so they don't interfere.  Not
touching each other, Megan like a barrier nobody's gonna reach around to
feel someone else.

   ...9

   "Huh!" Wash it off.

   "You done?" Get out, grab a towel.

   "Sucked Maud in, didja?" 'Take a moment.'

   "Sorry about that, I know you're trying to quit, didn't know when you'd
get off." Huh.  Now I get the sexual harassment culture, too.  "She's
taking him home." Confidential, possible legal ramifications.  "You wanna
go for a walk?" She gets out.  Doesn't linger in there, like a bath.

   "Huh!"

   "Don't want to talk?  Good.  Didja eat?..  Hungry at all?  We can garb
something while we're out, or I can cook when we get back..." She needs sex
to think, but it can be like a Spectrum Awareness Narcotic, with an intense
enough release.  She sounded like she was on 'The Water of Life.' She held
my shoulders, so I reached back to hold onto her deltoid.  Can't even feel
any ribs, just her shoulder blade when she shrugs.  "Hn," she doesn't have
to think out-loud, though.

   "Sex addiction." Mhm?  "You got it bad.  Sorry, but denial doesn't
change anything either, but have you payed any attention to how much you've
escalated, and how fast?  You're in for a crash, already, and the more you
escalate the harder it's gonna be when it gets here." Hopefully before
she's up to gangbangs.

   "I know," she hugs me, "Thanks.  Ooh, you're tense?" She rubs up, and
down my back.

   "Landscaping, weeding followed by digging, and masonry.  Schlepping
cinderblocks that last hour, and a half."

   "You wanna take a break together?  Just romantic, affection.  Smrq. 
Celibate, though." I can go back tomorrow, under the table, still trying to
chose between that, and tomorrow's lab.  I could make enough for 3 makeup
labs, I guess.  Life is complicated.

   "Yeah," I kissed her back.  "Huh, let the boys move up with Maud?"

   "She's damned at this point," I know.  "Here, walk in front of me." Her
strong fingers rubbed her thumbs into my shoulders.  "Nhihhin!" ?  "Maybe I
can come in, and work with you, tomorrow?"

   "Yeah, I can skip school." And we need the money.

   Dr.  Santiago {TMO NS}

   "Yeah," look away, "That's her." Deep breath, look, 'heuuuuuuuh.' Ohm...

   "We got her prints off the cheeks,"

   "Ruth Cannon." Easy, nobody else could have made this, this abomination.
Legs up, looks like you can stand her up on them, coyly covering between
them with both hands.  Wood, hand-carved, seamless, you had to follow the
grain to see where it was mated together.  Magnetic wand on the table over
there.  "Any metal?" I plucked out a pair of gloves.  "HuhH!" Covered my
mouth.

   The face.  "Uh!" Nightmare fuel.  There's a skull in there!

   "None we can detect, we're scheduling an MRI." Wood, some leather, and
wax.

   The disproportionate head a caracature.  "Homonculus." The neck doesn't
look like it'll support it, that deaths head grin, probably carved first.
"Fuck!  Sorry, may I?" Where did she get Ivory?  Walk around the
examination table like a billiard player, and grip her wrists.  Through the
glove, I'm not sure I want to touch it, hesitate to grip the wood.

   Dainty, pressing the wax breasts together by the triceps.  Molded in. 
Concave, the back inner surface molded into the wax, black dot for the
nipple.  Looked like it was burned in, a twinkle.  Barely visible point,
countersunk, not even any marks inside the arm, right around where the
brachial artery runs under the humerus.  Metal.

   "It's a work of art," nod, lips tight, rub the end of an arm over them.
"Dumped behind a gallery." in Austin.  Found the Ranchero in Raton, traded
for a pickup...

   "Like a body," they broke up.  This is from memory, she didn't bother
editing out all the feelings, and exaggerated the proportions.  She would
never have sat still to model for this, this took a while.  The nails are
sharp, too.  Not like claws, but more like scalpel blades, curved in, and
down to almost parabolic tips.  Red, some sort of plastic?  Red wax beneath
them, gaping maw.  "Is that a bore-scope?" Try to snap my fingers for it.

   "She's hollow." Changeling, just the rawhide stretched between the
hip-bones, and ribcage, laced on, and stretched taut, like a drumhead, but
not as flat.  Tap it, atonal.  Not like a chord, lean over, pull a
fingertip tight, and tap it again.  Possibly unintentional.

   "I'll buy it, at any price.  She made it for me." Rigid, but it has a
light behind the aperture, pry it in under the rawhide, where there's
enough of a reveal.  "Gently, don't want to damage it...  Thank god there's
nothing in there!" Cover my mouth.

   "Now they'll believe me." Megan's Law.

   "This some Hannibal Lechter shit, doc?"

   "Not yet," The Tv show, maybe.  They haven't done this one yet, but that
would be the logical venue.

   Patience, Ruth.  She can cool down forever.  I hope.  If not, she might
make it 3 victims in, if they report, before there's a followable pattern.
Can't estimate period, or acceleration with only 2 points.  I can't
profile, anyone, but I know her.  More with each of these Sex Objects she
leaves me.  Just don't kill anyone Ruth, don't hurt anyone else.  Who
doesn't deserve it.

   Athena {Fm-M Voye Stal Mole Fant Pseu Gays}

   Cruising.  Okay, call it patrolling, but that's my Heroine habituation
talking.  Antiheroine, I guess, or antagonist in denial, but to be honest
with myself I'm looking for a Victim.  "Anti-protagonist," then.

   Long drive, I need a break, sick of the road, but 4 states, and 2
timezones away from the last cluster, at least I wasn't followed.  They
would have caught up by now.  "Huh!  Ooh!"

   Took a couple days, but eventually I saw suspicious behavior.  I parked,
got out, and held the door latch to close it quietly.  Semi-rural, this
small college town doesn't have suburbs, but thins out into the country.

   Deep south, hottern' tarnation.  In the day, but not much nightlife
outside the college kids.  He looked more like highschool, skulking around,
but with a purpose, or familiarity.  Maybe just heading home after sneaking
out, still a little early.  Not yet eleven, on a school night, but boys
don't hide in their own side yards, peeking into windows, and rubbing the
front of their shorts.

   Keep an eye out for sticks, and try not to swish my sneakers through the
grass.  In need of a trim, but there's enough light from the window.  His
face, locked on his voyeuristic sight, young, cute, flushed, breathing
heavy.  "Hhuh!"

   Cover his mouth, he struggles, but doesn't try to scream, or even let
out a muffled grunt of surprise.  I have to drag him back to whisper,
'little pervert' by the garage.  I don't want to get caught neither, but I
let a little chuckle out.  'Hehah!' He relaxed, busted, stopped fighting. 
"You like peeping, Tom?" Good a name as any. 

   He shook his head, silently, didn't protest, so I let him go when we get
clear of the yard.  To the street, it's dark, he waited for me to pass
before sneaking across in my rearview, or I wouldn't have caught it.

   "Not very good at it," I laughed.  "Are you?"

   "I'm sorry," sounded like he was crying, "Missus Cannon.  Please, I
won't do it again."

   "You want me to call the cops?" He jumped at the swat, "or teach you a
lesson?" Not a peep, not even an 'ow!' He just rubbed the pocket of his
shorts, where I hit him.

   "Get in," I opened my side, spanked him until he moved over, sat on it.

   "Where are you taking me?"

   I ignored it, "You think she wants you peeking on her window, watching
her sleep?" Slow down, Ruth.  At least get him home before you lose it.

   He sighed, and shook his head,  "I just watch him jerking off."

   "Huh." Damn it, there goes the mood.  "You're gay." And probably a
Victim too, this neighborhood.  I suspect I was losing my Gadar a while,
but not even a blip?  In the dark, with so little said, but I hate getting
caught in an assumption likeat.

   "Where're you from?" Still working on the local accent, said 'yeou.'

   "Texas." Last.  "Cher name, son?"

   "Willy." A streetlight Flashed over the windshield.  Alabama plates,
it's a good idea to change vehicles often, even if they ain't after me. 
That way I can do it legally, instead of stealing them.

   "Liz." He smiled, as if I hadn't just kidnapped him in the night.

   "Are you gay too?"

   "No," here we go again, "Huh!  It's more complicated than that.  I guess
you could call me Pansexual, you know what that means?"

   "Like the God?"

   "No?  Well maybe, not much up on my pagan mythologies.  Uh uh, I mean it
don't got nothing to do with Gender, really.  Down south, folks tend to
think in black, and white, gay or straight, on account of conservative
gender roles. Truth is, there's a lot more grey area in between the
corners.  Think like a square, right?  Now, a straight guy, like a redneck,
your crush likeat?"

   "No, he's a Jock."

   Right, "Well, he thinks in opposites, kin look along the gender line at
his girlfriend, tries not to look too far down the sexual side outta
homophobia, but he can't even see lesbianism from there.  Then there's the
whole grey area they don't even acknowledge."

   "Bisexual then?" Not much of a talker.

   "And then some.  Pan; takes into account all the points in between male,
female, transgender, and intersex.  I don't care about the hardware, the
fittings so much as the people.  And to tell the truth I'm bored with
Normal.  There's all kinds of different, can't even do them all, so the
more special someone is, the more interesting they are."

   "Your real different," they had lights in the parking lot.  Days Inn,
decent rates for having cable, a tub, Wi-Fi, halfway decent breakfast,
even.  "I never been attracted to a lady before."

   "Ha!" I got out.  He didn't ask, "Well I ain't no Lady.  I'm a woMan,
but that's more'n they teach you about in church.  A side effect of the
conservative Dichotomy is they enforce Gender Roles.  And I like to fuck
withem."

   I flipped off my butt, got out my pack, and pulled the keycard out of
the back of the cellophane.  125, on the end, back of the lot, nice view of
the dumpsters.

   Instead of the pool, I have to wait till its open to get a swim, and get
out when the kids start piling in.  "I'm also a child molester, and a
rapist." Might as well get that out the way.  "Huh!  I don't abuse kids no
more, but it don't wash off.  Instead, I switched to raping abusers.  And
concentual sex, when I can get it.  What're you, 16?"

   Passive Aggressively let's them lie, guessing high.  "Fourteen."

   "Huh!  But you're not an abuser, are you?" He shook his head.  I can
Rape the willing, but I don't got to.  It'd still be statutory.  "But
you're not a vergin."

   He shook his head, "My boyfriend went up to Deloniga, for college."

   "You want to tell me about it?" I took him by the hips.  Not too short,
didn't have to bend down too much to kiss him.

   Willy {b-mM/m Mole Ince Pseu Gays Pedo Teen.  FM Oral Cons.}

   We had to hide it, of course.  Back in middle school, we used to kiss
behind the portables, but we almost got caught.  So, after school we'd hang
out, and jerk off together.  He had Playgirl's, his daddy knew, and didn't
tell.  Let me come over to study, stay for dinner, and sleep over.

   I loved him, so much, but then mister Clayton.  He come in, and talked
to us about it.  Ruben was starting to grow up, he was a Sophomore and I
wasn't even a freshman, yet.

   "A pedorast." Like a pedophile?  "Exactly like, the NAMBLA type, he
teach you Greek Mythology?" Yeah, and how they understood, there was more
kinds of love, that people don't understand any more.  "Right.  That's
their playbook.  Likeis?"

   Yes, to start.  Ruben did it too, showed me how to play with myself, and
his.  He's not circumcised.  His momma's Mexican, Sandoval, but they ain't
Catholic. 

   "Then what?" She bent down, kissed it.

   Yeah, he.  Uh, he's not that good at it.  His daddy's.  Oh, wow!  Uh, he
liked to dress up.  Sayed one of is has to be the girl, and he liked to
bottom.  "Smwip!  You like to fuck?"

   "Him, his daddy fucked me, and I don't likeat as much.  Huh, uh huh!"

   "You call him daddy too?" Yeah, uh he likes that.  "Not your fantasy,
though." Not really, I mean.  It's like Incest, I know homosexuality's bad,
but.

   "That wasn't gay.  Huh, he probably told you it was, like playing with
his son, but pedorasto Trumps that.  Like Incest, and child molestation is
wrong, whereas Homosexuality is not.  It's twisted around, so he can tell
himself it's love, not Rape, and convince his victims."

   So I'm a victim.  She saw it in my face, nodded, then bent down to
finished sucking me off...

   Test {Fm Anal}

   Not much cum out.  For a teen, he seemed healthy enough, and didn't get
a chance to get off before I kidnapped him, which could be some sort of
symptom, or whatever.

   "You mind if I finger you?" Spat it on my hand, and felt his bottom. 
Didn't say 'fing,' but giggled a little anyway.  Biggern' Meghan by a
long-shot, maybe about as big as Maud's.  "Hih!  Pwrl!"  Nice and firm,
narrow hips, "I promise not to hurt you, but it's obvious that Mr.  Clayton
raped you."

   He looked surprised, squirmed, then realized I was right.  Of course, he
wouldn't want you to think that, 'I didn't rape him, I loved him,' until he
got too old, too.  He nodded, and bent over, silently.

   I like that, love it when I make the chatty ones STFU, but he's quiet,
shy.  Barely enough to get his crack wet, but I was drooling now, and let
it run down to the tip of my tongue.  Holding him open, I saw he was clean,
almost hairless, and most of the short curls were higher in the crack.  No
dingleberries, nor "Snhh!" Shitty odor.

   "!" He barely grunted, but just tasted like his thin slimy jizz, and my
spit.  No fresh damage, nor hemorrhoids, but I was right.  Even years old,
since he started growing up, he was rough, a little prolapsed, and tight.

   "You have to loosten it up, and get it wet first."

   He nodded, "We used lube." I broke the kiss, licked my lips, "Right, but
what about foreplay?  This feel good?  :P*"

   "Uh!" He squirmed, "Yeah?" Sounded surprised.  Only knew Anal Rape, now
that's what I call Sodomy.  Selfish, hurtful, even if you call it love.  He
didn't say anything, but humped back against my mouth.  Didn't even grunt
again, but he was breathing heavy.  "Hhhhh!"

   He likes it!  I grinned.  "Pwrl!" Tight circles, around the little
pearls bulging out, filling with blood.  I pushed them in, as deep as my
tongue would go, until I felt his sphincter. 

   "Nh!" Like a girl, a virgin, never had Anal Sex before.  Just been
raped, or topped his boyfriend, playing the girl.  It clenched, and he
choked off another grunt, so I stopped.  Licked my pinky.  "No," he dropped
to a whisper, 'you don't have to stop.' Breathless, panting in excitement
now.

   "I'm going to try my finger now.".  I rubbed it with my pinky, and he
nodded, holding his breath.  I guess I could make him talk, cry out in
pleasure!  Maybe he suppressed himself, having to hide his feelings, can't
even bite his lip, like a girl.

   Cultural repression.  Homophobia doesn't mean being afraid of Gays.  It
means terrorizing them, or anyone you can accuse of it.  Running back to
the Closet, locking the door so nobody can look in.  Cistraigt men
especially fear the unknown, of course.  Don't want to know beyond who to
call Faggot, but I couldn't ask with my mouth in his ass.

   "Relax," I pushed it in.  His sphincter, and the prolapsed part of his
rectum stretched out.  Displaced, and I mean I got in past the first
knuckle without bottoming out.  "You all right?"

   "Yeah," he gasped, panted.  "Ngk!" He choked it off. 

   "Breathe," I swirled the tip around slowly, pushed out a little pouch
around it.  "You don't want to pass out;" and miss any of this pleasure,
but I didn't have to say it.  His knees were bent slightly, half standing
on his hands, a look of relaxed bliss on his face.  "Now," I pushed it as
deep, and taut as it would go, "Try to push me out."

   "uH?" Like a turd, it actually dilates the muscle, and pushed it back
out.  "Hn!" To roll over my stationary fingertip.

   "Feel all right?"  Yes, oh god yes, he loved it, squirmed to move it
around in there, humping back to push it deeper.

   "Uah!" His mouth wide open, spasming, flushed inside his hot little
ass.  "Huh!" A little drop of drool slipped out, down his lip to the bottom
of his nose, and his knees buckled.  I slipped out quick, but he puckered,
so I picked him up, and put him on the bed.

   "More?"

   "Oh yes, please!" So polite, he spread his legs wide, hanging off the
end, shaking with excitement.  I gave him a pillow, but he just held it,
buried his face in it.  "MH!"  I didn't even have to hold his head down, by
the back of his neck.

   His boyfriend, Ruben, I bet he was more gentle with him than his
boyraping daddy.  Truly loving, I could see it in his face, when I got him
to open up about it.  "umMH".  Muffled, but no resistance now.  He opened
up.  Spasmed around my finger, and his crack felt hot.  His pale cheeks
glowing, pink like a sunburn, or he'd been freshly spanked, but it was
complete arousal.

   "Huh!" He wasn't hanging, he was sticking straight down.  Hard against
the end of the comforter.  His hairy balls felt normal, in my mouth now,
swirling them around.

   "MmmmmhhH!" Moaning into the pillow.

   Right, checking if everything was normal, so I let them out.  The curly
skin pulled back tight, cradling them.  I bent the hardown back, to kiss
it.  Felt down inside, around for the other gland, I can reach.

   Huh!  Felt normal, to me.  Not swolen, overgrown, nor shrunken and
hard.  A normal teenage prostate.  But empty, or not enough fluid to feel. 
He gasped, un-muffled, for breath, and I tried to milk out a drop.

   Instead, he twitched in my mouth, around the bottom of my pinky, and a
few drops shot out on my tongue.  Thin, flavorless, probably as clear as
his first weak little load, but he was shuddering hard now, and moaning out
loud.  His sphincter gripping the web of my thumb with each spurt.

   "OaaaaouuhH" I mean as loud as I'd ever heard him before.  But just a
few weak drops, thin without any of the prostate fluid to milk out.  I wish
I could read a blood test, as if I knew anything about hormone levels. 
"Huh huh hun!" His empty ass spasmed in time, and he gulped to himself. 
Back straightening from him flopping down on the made bed, the pillow
pushed away for him to breathe.  "I had wondered," he caught his breath,
swallowed again, "Gulp, but I never imagined."

   Never got off like that before.  "Mind if I take a shower?" UH!  He
shook his head, pulled the pillow back, and curled up on the corner of the
bed.  Quietly panting.

   I got off so quick, as soon as I got my pants down, and my fingers in,
Then I took off my shoes, and got undressed while the water warmed up.

   Willy {MF Somn Mole-Rape Trig FB;

   Note, that last one is for Flashback.  Also ; means there's more,  but
it's probably not potentially Triggering.}

   She woke me up, pulled the towel out of her hair, and layed it over the
pillows.  To pull me up next to her.  2 of them, there was 5 up by the
headboard, but she put her arm under mine, and held me while I fell back to
sleep.

   I used to sleep with Rubey, too.  Before he went off to college, but in
my dreams I remembered our first sleepover.  We hugged eachother, kissing
until we fell asleep.  He had a smaller bed, not as wide, but we were still
young, and little then.

   He was getting his first hairs, and he was always bigger.  I loved the
little skin he had around the end.  The way it popped back, and forth over
it when he jerked off, looking at me, touching me, letting me play with it,
and kiss it, and suck it.

   He put my hands on his butt, and I laughed, but he liked me touching
it.  Squeezing it, even slapping it.  His daddy spanked him, when he was
bad, and later I saw when we played together.

   He came in, I woke up when he was touching us.  We were both hard, and
he was jerking it too.  He put it in my face, so I could "Suck it.  Go on,
I won't tell anybody."  He didn't have the skin on the end, like mine.  But
so much bigger, but that ment I could jack it with my hands, too.  "Your'a
Faggot!"

   Rubey jerked off behind me, watching us, but he never fucked me.  He
tried, but he just went soft.  Daddy showed us how, showed me how to fuck
him, and jerked off on my butt.  He felt me up, but I didn't like it the
way Rubey did.

   But he liked me more.  Then Ruben, or his sisters, or little brother he
never touched.  Not that first night, or even the next time I slept over,
but in my dreams they all kinda runned together into tonight.  I got older
and Rubey got bigger, harier, had to shave more, and more.

   Then his Daddy raped me.  He called it making love, like I did to Rubey,
but it hurt.  He just got his finger greasy, and stuck it in while I sucked
on him, then he turned me around and bent me over.

   "Willy!" She shook me.  I was crying, but she held me, and told me it
was just a nitemare.  That it was over, he was gone, wouldn't hurt me no
more.  I was hard in her hand, but she pulled it out from between my legs,
rubbed my tummy, and my hip.  Kissed my shoulder, and neck.  My cheek until
I turned over, then mouth.

   "You jerk off a lot?" She licked her lips.  I nodded, you don't have to
tell her much, it's like she can read it in my eyes.  Very expressive face,
too, she's good at showing what she's feeling.  "How often?"

   I shrug, what's a lot?  "All the time?" She looked at my eyes.  "Mh,
whenever I get hard, and I can.  My balls hurt if I don't."

   "More'n 3 times a day?" I had to think.

   "At least 3 times a night, then whenever I can in the day."

   "It wakes you up?" Yes.  "Huh, so you're hypersexed.  It's fairly normal
for teenaged boys, but you think about Sex all the time?"  Yeah, it's
distracting?  "Yeah, that's it, you're just cumming yourself dry."

   "Everyday," nod back.  She looked relieved.

   Not always sex, sometimes I just get turned on out of the blue, but
others it's more, like love?  I don't know, romantic, like kissing, and
hugging, and holding hands.

   "Do you like to write?" Shrug.  "Huh!  You're quiet, and that's all
right, but communication is also very important, and the more I know, the
better I can help you find yourself." She stopped rubbing my chest, just
left her hand there, until I felt my heart beating hard under it.

   On my back next to her, she pulled her other arm out, and got up on her
elbow.  The sheet started sticking out, so she looked down, smiled, and
rubbed it through it.  "Well, if you're going to make par tonight." She
looked back up at my face, "You wanna try fucking me?"

   I smiled back, and kissed her.  She's older, and I don't mind.  I like
older men, too, I guess there aren't many younger.  I felt her chest,
naked, and they didn't feel like I expected.  The first time, since I was a
baby, of course. 

   Since then, I hugged girls, my aunts, and mom, but you know, in bras,
under tops.  So, I guess I must've thought they'd be softer, and not so
loose.  They hung down, on her side now, but low.  Still firm, and round,
though.  Not at all like buttocks.  Otherthen there being 2, and them being
round.

   She picked one up, and held it for me to suck on a nipple.  "Huh!".  She
was very warm, and it got hard, like a tiny cock in the middle.  The dark
circle around it got even hotter on my lips.  She rubbed the back of my
neck, and brushed her fingers through my hair.

   Her other hand took one of mine, and put it between her legs.  It felt
funny at first, of course something was missing, but most of it was inside,
and I couldn't see.  Like that, I was curious, and she had a leg up, so I
let go of her teat, and turned around on the bed.  Sideways, so I could see
what I was doing.

   She's very hairy.  Doesn't shave, I don't know how hairy women get, but
it covered up a lot.  Even on the sides, and her legs, so I had to brush it
out of the way to see better.

   It's all so confusing, and I had no idea what to do.  "You shave," she
reached out to rub between my legs again.  I'm not so sure how much a woman
is supposed to have, or anyone.  Both the guys I been with shaved too.  She
frowned, "It makes you look younger."

   Not sure how to feel about that, either, but I got so much to learn, so
I looked back.  Better get started.  I had to hold her open, it's like a
whole bunch of skin, folded together between her legs.

   I hearda 'fur burger' but it was more like a taco.  Or a skin sandwich? 
Hm!  Thicker on the outside, where all the hair was, but pink thinner
inside.  Maybe a Pita, yeah only no salad, or creamy sauce, it was sweaty,
and didn't smell bad.

   And she kissed my ass last night.  I mean she stuck her tongue all the
way in, so a little sweat was nothing.  And I like her hair, or fur, I
guess.  She's furry, and I like her, all of her.  So far.  She wasn't as
salty as I expected, and aren't women supposed to be fishy, or something?

   "HuhH!" I read some of what she wrote later, she spells out the grunts
and sighs too, but that's like a breathy sigh.  "Yeah, a little higher." I
was trying to lick back, where I figured the folds tucked in, and all the
sauce came out.

   You know, a baby has to come outta somewhere, the same place a dick is
supposed to go, right?  But I licked back, through the thinner folds, where
the clitoris is supposed to be.  We took Sex Ed, it was an elective, but my
mom signed for it, and I got out of a semester of gym.  The pictures, well
it was a lot simpler, not as much hair, or skin in the way, so you could
see it.

   She rubbed in the fur, under my chin, and I felt something in there, but
it slipped past my tongue, and I lost it.  "Yeah, " she breathed, "You're
doing good." She gave me a squeeze, and went back to rubbing it.  "Heah!"

   I found it, way back under all that skin, but where the folds came
together.  I guess like a seam, like they were sewn together, but it wasn't
really hard.  Like her nipple, it was just thicker, and loose in there.

   She pushed my chin back, and I watched her fingertips sink in.  Kind of
pinch, and pull back, then she spread them, and.  Oh!  It looked nothing
like the picture.  A little peanut, I guess, but this was like a tiny tiny
little cock head, smaller then my brother's when he was a newborn.  No
piss-hole, that was lower, but the thin crinkly lips kind of stuck to the
bottom of it.  I could just barely suck it, and

   "Uh!" I lost it, but she held it out for me, so I touched it again, and
she shivered a little.  "UhHuh!" She was really hot now, and her lunch meat
was a little thicker with blood.  It tasted a little pissy at first, like
Ruben's sometimes, but that went away, and then it just tasted like skin.

   'uhN!" She jerked when I tried to suck it in again, so it slipped out,
and she shivered hard.  She even let go, but I felt in with my fingers like
I saw her do.  Only up side down, so I couldn't lick it, so I used my other
hand, and dug it out with my tongue.

   There, I tried sucking it out, but got the skin with it, and she
bucked.  I had to hold her, she squirmed like when she first started
fingering me, but I couldn't help it either.  It felt so good, I can only
imagine what she feels, but she loves it.

   "Uheah!" She even let go of my dick to hold my head, but now that I had
it, I could hold her with both hands.  It's not like a dick at all, just
the head, but tiny, and split so I could dig my tongue down in it.  But I
can't push the skin back with my lips, it just squished, and had no place
to go.

   But I could suck it out, in the skin, and let it pop back, to suck it
out again.  She held my head still, pushed my chin hard into her curls, and
my nose slipped between the thick hairy folds, and I could smell her.

   Nothing else like that, her sex, an unique smell.  I love it, my nose
got wet, and I could smell it for a while after we're done.  Just thinking
about that scent later popped out my dick like a bottle rocket.  But she
was really shaking.  I just sucked her faster, and faster since I got the
hang of it, and pushed my head down so it wasn't bashing my chin, and I
finally found her hole, with my nose.

   "Uh!" Her breath caught, "Y?" It didn't squirt out, up my nose, but I
felt it run down my cheek, and her wet hairy thigh.

   I thought I felt her pulse, on my tongue, but it was her clit twitching
in my mouth.  I was almost disappointed nothing came out, like cum, but she
got off, for a long time.  So long she had to gasp for breath, pushed me
away, and just shook on her side.  Her leg down, squeezing her hands tight
between them.

   "AHuhuh huh huh huhhhh.  Ahhhn!" She caught her breath, and pulled my
head up.  Grinning wide, then opening her mouth to kiss me.  Deep, hungrily
licking the taste out of my mouth.  Then she got out a rubber.  I never
used them before, or even seen one unwrapped, so she had to put it on me.

   After all that, it was almost.  IDK, she felt so loose, and I was
tired.  I didn't even get off, but she pulled it off when it fell out, and
we just fell back asleep.
:

   Good Mourning {Fm/M Fant/Plan Rape.}

   He learned quick.  Empathy, I guess.  He pays attention, a lot of
introverts do, but people don't think about them.  Thinking he was gay so
long might help, since Cistraight guys suppress that, the natural
communication that's older than manmade language, along with the feelings
they don't talk about, neither.

   So.  Not a psychopath.  At all, may be skipping past the socially
acceptable antisocial phase alltogether.  "Real men" don't feel, or talk
about it, even love, they identify it as a weakness.

   Again, I'm guessing.  IDK the male mind, or the normal one.  It's the
aberrations I can analyse, but that's one way I know I'm not Trans.  If I
was, being a psychopath, I should understand adolescent psychosis, better,
right?  But this was a good abnormal, almost as sensitive to feelings as a
teenage girl, or a transgirl.

   INS if I got Transonar, working on it.  Explains why I didn't get a blip
from him last night.  He's not gay, just coerced into thinking it by a
pedorast.  At best it made him open to bisexuality.  Just needed to show
him a woman's touch, ex Lesbian artist doesn't hurt.  That's
counterproductive for a Victim in denial.

   Ruben?  Possibly.  Can't differenciate between Transvestism, Drag Queen,
Transgender, or a little Latino boy on a dress, and IDK how much they was
feminized before seducing Willy.

   I'd have to talk to them, had to bring up the regional map to look up
Dalonega, the way they said it, 'round here.  "Deloniga." Tough accent, and
I'm pretty good at them.

   Can't sleep, really.  Id been a little depressed, slept the past few
days, then stalked the nights.  It's not him, it's anyone.  I have to sleep
alone, not sure if it's trust, comfort, something else, or in what
combination, but I didn't want to go out to the Magnum.

   Got a good deal on it, for the year, and mileage.  The guy thought it'd
be a good farm wagon for the Delta, gutted it to the front seats, hated it,
and couldn't sell it after that.  Got it for a song, dance, and a real
truck to trade him.

   Like a Muscle Wagon.  Long, powerful Hemi, low and stable.  And I didn't
have to convert it much.  Basically just move in without a project to find
space for.  But I payed for the room, "Huh!" I'll be damned if I'm gonna
sleep in the car.

   When there's a teenage boy to molest in his sleep.  Fascinating mix of
under/overdevelopment.  Southern sheltered, but experienced pitching and
catching.  First woman he ever been attracted to, and my ID just fucking
loves that.

   Been raped, loved, has loved, and lost, and gone without in under a
sesquedecade.  Proto-stalking.  Left alone he'd possibly have escalated to
Power Reassurance Romance Rape.  I could almost see it, the way he said
"love" talking about his secondhand daddy.

   Groomed, by a young boy, I'd guesstimate about 13yo by the rough time
frames.  Makes it easier to learn, and to top it off, he knows a
preferential pedorast on town.  Yeah, that's awesome.

   2 of my most elusive prey, they hide so well, and aren't attracted to
me, which is hot in and of itself.  All the better to Rape him with, and
I'm so not satisfied.

   So, some Victim Rehearsal.  Thanks to Days Inn, for a king size with 5
pillows, for under $80.00.  One under my tummy, tits to hold up my chest
with my ass in the air.  Still leaking from;

   God, can't remember the last time I cummed so hard.  Already wet back
there, it ran down, and I have spit on tap.  But first I fingered more out,
slipped it up to knock on my back door, biting into the pillow.  Rape him,
that sick fucking pedorast.

   "MmhH!" Muffled, held down for him.  He doesn't have to stalk him, set
up the pseudoromantic Plantacy.  All that prep was already done, I even
shattered the delusion.  The usual trigger from Reassurance to Rape. 

   And he has a little brother.  How old now?  Could be anywhere from 8-12,
between growing back all his teeth, and starting to show adolescence.  Just
needed a stand-in son between the oldest, and youngest.

   Yeah, that might do it.  INS he can Rage, but we can find out.  I'll do
all the talking.  Even if he can't get it up, His ass is MINE!

   .

   .

   .

   Huh, drivers license.  Maybe I can crash in back while he drives, take
him with me.  On the weekend, humpday night, got a couple days to figure
that out.  Or Friday eve morning now, technically.  Let him sleep, I can
take a bath later.  When I get bored playing around in my ass.  I need to
do his nails though.  Tomorrow.

   .

   .

   Huey {MF/MM NS}

   She walked in front of me.  "You're not tense," I felt.

   "Achey," down.  She'd tied her jacket on around her waist.

   "Is that a knife?"

   She nodded, "Dagger?" Pointed pommel, but more like an acorn shape,
steel wire wrapped, broad quillions, narrow double-edged blade with a sharp
looking tip.

   "Stiletto." She took off her jacket, and turned around, to take it and
tuck it back.  "If she comes back."

   "I'll kill her." Seriously.

   "Oh look," I turn, and sit down, "A tree!" put my arms over her
shoulders, and palm her knees.  Up, scooch around so her hips aren't
pressing right on any femorals.  Her screen lit up, it helps when she's
thinking.

   .

   .

   .

   "Fagots!" And they're off!  Just one, nope, there's a couple more, now I
have to get up.  "Where's your boyfriend?"

   "Huh!" stretch, and hop on the balls of my feet.  "You guys wanna talk?"
Formal training?  A little boxing, and wrestling, slap, and tickle with the
villianness, and sparring with the guyls.

   Skip right, jab, followthrough with the haymaker, pop my fingers out to
shove his shoulder down, and circle around to keep him between me, and the
other guy.  "You ever been in a fight before?" Spit, threw both hands wide
in his face, and front thrust kick straight to the hip.  Side skip around.
If I can keep it one-on-one, maybe I can wear them out.  "It's gonna be a
long fight, at least put up some defense." Grab it for a hip throw,
stepping between them to throw one into the other.  Took a hit to the face?
Jump back, but they ran.

   Oh shit, she's armed!  Listen for screams, 'nyhuhaha!' Oh good, giggles.
Deep throaty gaffaws, really.  No, she's fine, they're fine.

   Meghan {F Solo NS}

   "Nh!" I have to think about it.  Between trips I have to think about the
nails in the next boards, and how I'm going to carry them to the window
over the dumpster.

   Body by Ruth, practicly.  "If I have to work out after work, I'm not
working hard enough." At least it's not masonry.  What I wouldn't give for
a nice landscaping job, some shade to stand the cooler up in, but my arms
are a lot stronger.  Useful muscle, instead of just pretty.  Not manly,
doesn't look much different, but good for stuff.  More comfortable.

   Progesterone, I wonder if I can surpress that?  Not quite ready for them
to pull on the gloves, and go in wrist deep to pull them out.  I don't need
the scars.  Callouses, and strength.  Useful strength, it feels a lot more
comfortable.  I need to learn framing, though, because cleaning up after it
sucks.  All that nailing, and that heavy gun makes his forearm, and bicep
tired.  Not tense, just needs a good rubdown when we're done.  Keep saving
up, maybe massage classes?  I can get better with my hands.

   This pays the bills, though.  A couple classes a week.  We don't need 2
fulltime incomes, if we cut back on the smokes.  Ice cream.  I bet it pays
better.  "Huh!" Drop to my toes, stack up the boards, looking back and
forth at the ends to see how they line up.  Reach under, beside my legs,
and stand up, twisting to get them out the door sideways.  Then diagonally
to get them down the hall.

   "Huh!" One more trip, looks like, but they're tearing off in there
again. 2 of them, it's hard to keep up.

   "Here," he hands me a hammer.  "Help me with this wall." He pried all
the plywood off, and it was piled in the corner.  Knocked a couple studs
out on the bottom, bent it out, and hooked the claw over the end, between
the nails.  "Just knock these stringers out between them." He reaches
around to tap on top of about a foot of board in front of me.  "Just jerk
out the wiring, it's dead.  Mind the nails." He taps out a smoke, and walks
out the door.

   "Uh," I look down, kick the bottom of the board in with my steel toe,
but I have to bring it around the bent nails.  Knock out a stringer with my
hammer, the next one doesn't have one.  The gloves are hot, and sweaty so I
take them off.  "Mind the nails," pull it off, and throw it next to the
other one.

   "Meghan?" The carpenter set down his nailer, "Huh, when he said he'd
bring his girlfriend.  All right, you're a good worker."

   "Nh!" kick out another board, "Thanks." I need to get some tool bags,
real ones.  ;) "HehuhaHA!" shake my head, "You wish, old man." Jerk it out,
and pitch it.  "Let me get a drag.  Hhhhn, Thanks," he rubs my neck, so I
go back for the plywood.

   Bert {MM NS}

   "I can watch her all day."

   "No you can't." I dropped my hammer, and she left.  "Look, if you wanna
pay us for the work we've done, we can get off your site."

   "Or what?" he got up off the nail bucket.

   "Or I'll let her come in here, and kick your ass.  Oh yeah, get violent,
good plan." He relaxes his fist, "Or we can finish the job like human
beings, and you can keep your eyes to yourself.  Your choice." Grab my shit
on the way out.  I dropped my bags by the window, and went back.

   "Here's for the week," he held out some bills, "And a little extra,
didn't wanna break a $Fifty."

   "Fucking cheapskate," I grabbed the spare hammer, "Come on, we're
going." .., 80, $300, and 50.  All right, hand it to her.  Nobody's
catching her, much less getting in her spandex.  Safest place for it,
really.  "You all right?"

   "Emotional release?" she sprinted off.  I took a deep breath. 
Adrenaline, work it off, shortcut over the stairs, wall kick off almost to
her, going around the corner.  Dead stop, damn, set my feet, and launch to
a run, she won't go far.  "NHInhn..." Fuck, out of the yard, huh, bikes. 
Kong over the middle of the fence, keep zig-zagging back so I can take a
shorter straighter line, don't wear me out.  It had been a couple weeks,
keep your chip, I'm on it.  Patience.

   And speed, more speed.  Hard to believe what that beam-bike was worth on
Craigslist, she's got the cargo extension, load -em up, "Let's go." Can't
do anything around here that ain't too public, and broad daylight, just
try, and keep up with her.  Seat all the way down because of repetitive
stress injury to the perenial area.  Not a good thing, I ain't dead yet.

   Rethinking the move to the city.  Yeah, more work, more radius to clear
to be alone with my girlfriend.  I don't fucking know, she says I'm man
enough for herm, she's still pretty damned intimidating.  Even in sawed off
overalls, work boots, a sleeveless teeshirt, and welding goggles with the
#5 lenses taken out.

   Just don't run this grove into a rut, that's about the only way I can
fuck this up.  "Huh!" Drop the garage closed, key, lock, closed, byegones.

   "Hahl!  Lwnlwnlwn!" In my mouth, "Lemme catch my breath." Yeah, totally.
Beating her own record for getting out of clothes, I pulled off my shorts.
She didn't undo her boots, just untied the bikini, and pulled her shirt
off. Right, overalls, gravity.  "Bondage."

   "Huh?"

   "That's where I left off." She held up both hands with her thumbs out,
and her fingers curled.  [ ]

   "Top, or?"

   "You pick,"

   All right, I'll go with "Top." She'd already bottomed me out.

   6

   "No dominance, pain, or violence?"

   Grin, "Nor humiliation, just restraint."

   "Boots on?"

   b

   "Yeah," clunkuklunkuttyklunk clunk, I wagged after her to the bed.  What
the fuck, we don't have company over, and it has a storage locker, we use
as a garage.  I held her wrists, against the mattress, looked down, and
shifted my hips.  "UHN!" Sawed right up the middle, gently.  (Who knew all
those cobras would pay off?) It dragged down me, the loose skin bunching
around the underside.

   "NH!" She gasped in another breath.

   "Here," I grabbed a pillow, "Move back.  Now," took her hands, "Hold
onto the pillow." Right on the corners, "Yeah, get a good grip, and don't
let go, whatever happens." I can't get in her mind.  Maud got lost in
there, she bronzed after Ruth, and Amber for knocking hir off hir rocker.
"Relax," Patience.  "'huuuuuuuuuuuuh!'

   Down her face, neck, and chest, take another, and move aside to "Smwp!"
Wet, a nipple, and blow it dry.  "huh!" Back over the middle of her chest,
then down, silently, rocking back on my palms to brush my whiskers back
through her pubes.  "Smwq!"

   "Nhn!" she hunched a little, so I reached back to hold her thighs.

   "Good, didn't let go." She pulled at them, the corners, I could see the
shadow of her triceps, under her arms, in the folds of the sheet. 
"Hlaaaahhh!" Just breathe, and this little soldier's standing right up at
attention.  "Heheheh," She tenses, to say something, and I just brush the
tip of it.

   "Nyuh!"

   "Heh heh heh." Breath play, she never knows when, or where it will come,
but she can't touch me, or herself.  Every single hair standing on end. 
"Swmquip!"

   "Huh!" She starts a situp, and her abdomen hunches.

   'Wwwwwwwwwwh!' Shivers.

   'uh uh uh uh!' Quick shallow gasps.

   'snhhhhhhhh...' down, running the tip of my nose down between her folds.


   Patience.  Mutlitasking here, managed not to let the wrapper crinckle,
back between my knees.  Get her good and wet, deep, driving the tip of my
nose into her 'Corner.' ~Larry.  Not nearly enough stimulation to get hir
off, I don't think, but after that goosebumps, and flush foreplay, I want
to err on the side of caution.

   She sniffs at my wetted fingers, smells herself, but can't reach to
taste, or lap at them.  Lets her head fall, and giggles, silently.

   And then I'm up, between her hips, just pressing against her.  "Yes,"
her eyes open, "Yes now, please." I can see it into her eyes, until they
drop, and tighten.  Inches.  Crawler gear, 4xLow.  "Nhuhn!" Hold it, shift
my knees a little bit to reach up, plant my elbows, and grip her wrists.

   'let go.'

   PWH!  ~Mega.

   It didn't take many hard deep full length strokes to get me off.  She'd
hardly even started.  I know damned well she made up some vowels on that
one, pulled the pillow out, and held it over her face to scream in it.  I
just slipped out, and caught my breath.  Threw the phone on my bed, and got
my shorts.  She'd come and find me when she needed one.  Good time to roll
a joint.  "Yeah," kick back, and put my feet up.

   "Huhhhhalright," she took a drag.

   "Gangbangs?" She searches my face, picks up on the emotes.

   Shrug, "Too far?"

   "In under a year, probably just a little.  Relax, patience." Was a time
I'd suggest Larry as a role model, but that was an explosive mix.

   Her eyes searched around in her thoughts, "Mhm?" Looked up, ""Did you
see the hate-mail?"

   "Ruth?" I shook my head.

   "You're one of her victims."

   "I know," how do you manipulate a narcissist?  Let us manipulate
ourselves.  She's not, though.  She a modest badass?  She doesn't care
about, any of that.  But she cares about me.

   "What?"

   "Nothing," she settles down, on her chest, and I rub her back.  No
tension, just completely relaxed, her breaths slowing as she drifts off,
eyes already racing.  Now, usually I save this analysis for the sack, to
get the mindfuck to intensify my orgasm.  Guys aren't multi-orgasmic, we
aren't.  There's some tricks to simulate it, apparently that Gary kid pees
with a hardon to simulate ejaculation, or for this post orgasm sensitivity.
I try not to grunt, or shake the bed, so I get up.

   Mmh, beer.  I can see the attraction, not to the point of getting
addicted to it, preferentially, but it's an interesting sensation,
especially with whiskey dick, like a mini emotional release with the
fullness, and flow for urethral stimulation, and maybe a little pinching.
"Mrh!" Shivered a little.

   No, Herm.

   [Hubert

   Mega, the ultimate puzzle.  I'll use your notebook so you can read it
better, but the challenge is how non-linear you are.  Even writing linearly
like this, you tend to bounce around from track to track.  Now I know
you're mis-diagnosed with ADD, but that's the most common poster-diagnosis.
Every school councillor's office in the nation has at least that poster,
ultimately provided by the purveyors of Ritalin, and Aderol.  They're used
as diagnostic drugs, if Ritalin works, it's ADD, like Lithium for
Schizophrenia Praecox, or Bipolar Manic Depression.  (Intentionally using
the archaic terms for illustration, Psychiatry being an Art masquerading as
an Empirical Science.  Guess who my tutor was?)

   You, however are superhuman in a human world.  I can multi-task, under
the right circumstances, with the right frame of mind, but it's a lot of
work.  You can't turn it off, but I see your little tricks to manage it. 
Like music, yeah, I'll put something quiet on, take it out to smoke so as
not to wake you.

   [Metallica - Fade to Black.]

   Sleep tight, whenever you get it, it's a blessing.  So, anyway.  On the
road, or water, your spectrum awareness is good for reactions.  Even
chasing boys, it puts everything else out of your mind, so you can process
everything, and react more quickly.  Probably makes you a better fencer,
the Chess of martial arts.  {Actually, it's more like Billiards.  It's a
table, more than a board, and there's only 2 players in a Duel.  ;} I've
seen you come back from that, and reboot.  Start over from scratch, and
branch out to the many possibilities extrapolated from the first thought,
or stimulus.  I guess it turns out that I need to try this state of mind,
experience it to understand it, but this must be what it's like for you.  I
don't even want to smoke this bowl my hands just packed on automatic
because of the headchange.

   I think I understand how sex does it for you.  Not in any way I can
explain, but just writing like this flashes me back to reading your notes
like Dejavu.  I see now that you need sex, the overwhelming release to
reset, so all your mind-tracks can catch up to each-other, or I guess as
many tracks occupied so you can focus on one thing, like taking the river
down to Ruth's old camp.  I guess that's why you try to fix things with
sex, other people?  But remember, never forget that other people don't
think as you do, and you're relatively inexperienced.  It's not a game, no
matter how many Experience Points we wrack up, it only counts once we
process, and understand it.

   As much as you can understand us humans.  I'll help any way I can.

   "Sleep tight, smwq, Mega." I have to wonder what's switching back, and
forth behind your eyes.

   I really like this tantric kick, though.  Building up the sexual tension
for an explosive release.  Especially mixed, my psuedo-multi-orgasm.  This
was nice though, a mindblowing physical orgasm, now this mental/emotional
catharsis after.  "Hm," I see why you like it.]

   Mega

   ["Huh!" Thanks for the liter this morning, and your notes.  I guess
you're right, it's worst in the morning when I still have all the dreams in
my head.  [NP: Yello - Stalakdrama (Stella)...  Das Ich - Egodram
(Egodram)] Just woke up for a smoke, and some caffiene, it's uh, [4:18.]
I'll get you up after my bath.

   I guess it's kind of like that, I never thought about how linear people
are.  1 track minds, I guess, I think I have 2-4 at any given time. 
Writing like this is mostly a choice of which thought to keep, the most
important to remember, or archive, but now I lost my dreams.  Oh well, I
guess they couldn't have been that important.

   Mh, I love this part.  The 15 seconds in the middle of Egodram?  I think
it's the subconscious trying to fight itself up to die uberich, the
superego.  Freud didn't get everything wrong, I like his trinity.  I don't
know if I have a subconscious, or superconscious, maybe it's all three as
id, dreissIch?  (My phone won't do an efzet, and I don't feel like cut, and
pasting off google.) I'm not sure how German compounding really works, but
the gestalt.

   Hm, no use taking a shower then going to work.  Yeah, when we get home
the muscle rubs are great, and all, but I think I need a stronger reset. 
You know how I have to "pee" whenever we're relaxed, and unwound from work?
Well as my sponsor, I admit to have been cheating a little.  To think.  I
had to, you understand now?  I didn't until you explained it for me, thank
you for that.

   But last night, when you said "Let Go." Uh, maybe I should take a
shower? I didn't let go of the pillow, you know how I think in puns, but. I
don't know.  It was like a conscious reset?  I didn't get off, or the pow
of emotional release, it just all went away, and i could think.  Then i
think we swapped minds because I got one of your Mind Control orgasms.

   All those stimuli, the way you staged them, in what order.  I think it's
the most linear I remember thinking.  Yeah, I think I slipped into your
grove, just replaying every breath, and the path you took.  How you brushed
my hair to get me hard, built up all that sexual tention.  Then it was
Muschroom Cloud, like one of Larry's delayed orgasms, and I was nothing.  I
could see everything, feel everything, the spectrum awareness kicked in,
and there was nothing left for the Id, Das Ich in there, even overclocking
like that.  I think I blacked out, did I really scream into the pillow like
that?

   I don't know.  I'm not human, never was really, so you never came up
with the words, in any language.  German for one has a few English missed.
I'll say that.]

   "Mh,"

   "Oh," he's hard!  "You mind?" I held out the dregs.

   "Not this morning."

   "I read your notes," stretch, yawn, "I haven't slept like that in."

   "Yeah," He went to piss, "I know." Had to bend over the side of the
bathtub with the morning wood like that.

   "If you're up for it," I rubbed my hands up, and down his backs, and
sides, "I bet my ass is pretty tight now."

   "Huhuhuh!" He squeezed out the last of it.  "Yeah, I guess we can take
the day off." The earlier you get there, the better shot you have at a job,
but you don't have to call in.  They don't care if you don't sign up.  I
bend over to start the water.

   I got on my knees, between his legs, so I could sit down and wrinse. 
Slapped some water in to douche, but just felt the pressure on my back
door. I was tight, which just means he needs to fing me longer.  Turn it
off right about ball level, sitting down, and feeling back.  Hold onto the
faucet, it's hard, and warmed by the water.

   "Hn!" Relax.  He switches back to the pinky, "Nice and tight." He
chuckles, stopped doing that childish laugh, finally.  Or not as much, he
still giggles when he's giddy.  "uh, oh!" Knuckle pops through, like a
virgin, or my foreskin snapping back.  "Mh!" I tense a little, and push my
fingertips through my pubes to pop it out.

   "Spb!" It spats warm and slimy for him to work in, "HaulcH!  Spwrq!"

   "Hnh!" He cant get his finger in fast enough, and I feel myself spasm.
Not like an orgasm, but relaxed puckers, and he barely even finged me yet!
"nhH!" My voice cracks, but I don't care.  Just hold onto the faucet, don't
let go, to reach down, feel my body, "nuh!" He pulls out.

   "Cummere," the water splashes between us, and I feel him against me,
inside me.  So, I sink down.

   "Huh!" My nipples feel like they'll shatter, and fall off, spinning
around on the tips like hubcaps.  Don't rush it, overwhelm everything with
stimulation.  The way he sank into me last night.  So slow, and continuous
it felt like miles of penetration.

   Just hold on...

   He rubbed himself with the ball of his thumb through the guiche, and
pressed down.  The top of my anus stretched, like a fulcrum?  He was prying
himself down with his thumb, compound leverage inside me "Uh!" I hunched,
and my thighs flexed when he bushed my P spot.  I never imagined, he could
touch me there with it, where it's located.  He pushed me off, with his
thumb hooked so it dragged up the length of him, and I leaked out the
front.

   Okay, now I had to let go, and finger it out of the wet corner,
fortunately above the water.  The taste, my cum, uh!  It's my favorite
flavor ever, and you'd have to come up with something pretty awesome to
make it better.  I pulled the plug, but he was up, behind me.  Hand on the
small of my back, and nothing inside me.  I was spasming faster, like twice
a second, nowhwere near the deep thrumming of my heart, or the shallow
gasps of my breath.  "Slowhnngh!" 'whhhhhhhhhhh!'

   Miles of cock.  'uh?' He just waited, held it in there, and my face
pulsed like I was being strangled.  My ass stopped quivering, then I
erupted inside.  "HnnNNHHHUAH!" It was so loud in there!

   He held me, against his hips, strong hands on my chest, kept me from
falling, or flailing in a seizure.  That's what it felt like, all the
twitching was inside, but I didn't have to touch anything, and the small of
my back cramped up.  Even that felt good, but he had to pull out, when it
didn't and it hurt.  "Ngh, kuhHuhuh huh huh HUuuuuuh..."

   I turned around, he didn't get off.  Still hard, he stopped my hands,
got up, and turned around.  "You know anything about tantra?" I giggled. 
"Just," he reached back for his glutes, "Finger me until I get soft.  Don't
worry about blue balls, I don't need to get off, so I think I'll save this
one."

   "Smwuip!" I smiled, and bent.  "Okay!  Smrq!  lwL!"

   "Hn!" He relaxed.  "Ah, this is retarded.  Huhah!" I felt him laugh, and
giggled.

   MEGA {MTM NS}

   "Okay, step back like this:" L He's left handed.  "Okay, now step out to
extension," I Lunged.

   "Heha!" I stepped back, "Do that again, in slow motion."

   "Uh," step back, "Huh, I can't take the step.  Okay, from here, no." I
grabbed his shoulders.  "Put your whole body into it, square your feet. 
Right, from the hip to full extension, you're picking up power, and
velocity.  A vector of speed, and direction, with the mass times the speed,
squared.  Sorry, uh, the faster you go, the harder you hit them.  Uh huh,
but you can get more power from your shoulders."

   Hold them again, "The feet are just a stance, you're pretty solid, but
your back" left "Leg is like a brace.  It props up your pelvis, and propels
it forward on your front leg.  From there, your spine should come in line
at the point of impact.  That's why I'm teaching you this first, because
it's a complex maneuver that you have to wire into Muscle Memory."

   "Like an Uppercut?" I follow him through the lunge again, but this time
he puts some power behind the extension.

   "Good, but more forward.  I'll work on wrist, forearm, you know how to
throw a punch." Judo/Karate, I think.  He doesn't say, I need as few
advantages as possible.  "Yes, will call this rising fist.  You don't need
a heart-shot without a blade, so you could hit the Solar Plexis, throat, or
palm up the chin." I didn't show him.

   "Side-arm," I stepped back, "You got Temple," fastfeints, "Cheekbone," 2
knuckles, "Jaw," Palm, "Or carotyd." Knife-hand.  Behind him, I need to
work on my left hand/main gauche anyway.  He's gonna mostly be fighting
righties, but have no extra penalty against other southpaws.  Kinda lucked
out on that, too.

   Okay, hairline.  Now that I see it, I see it, he needs to grow it out,
already too far gone for bangs, ballcaps?  Bandana, maybe a camo one? 
"Nhnhn!" Flectarn.

   "K'mere," Rapeface.  "You fag!" So, Knight moves, dancing around him
like a queen, with side-steps, and half turns to stay behind him, lunging,
and grabbing, sidestep to a wall.  Scored a couple hits on his ass cheeks.

   "Fuck," tuck the side of my foot into the bottom, step out, but he
bounces off of it.  "Really?" We go down, "NhihAHAHA!" Push his hands away
from my ribs, and slap his arm.  "You wanna go play some pool?" He helps me
up.

   [x] Slap, and Tickle.

   "Hah!"

   "Can I get a drag?" Smq!  Shoulder, humerus, byegones.  Starting to get
twilit, so I drop my goggles around my neck, and they rattle on my
headphones.  He reaches back, feels my untershave, and widow's peak.  (Like
Aranea Peel, only my hair.) "Get us some beers?  Mh," snatch his
changepurse out, and grab some quarters.  Open table, the sharks swimming
around the full size ones.  Drop, rack, break.

   "Hey," rub my mustache to draw attention to it.

   "Uh," slip my hand back to the thick end, tap my palm for balance, and
step beck.  "Huhah!" Behind him, a couple beers.  "Tank."

   "Here hun," he hands one back, dropping naturally on the horse, I take a
half step back, between the $.50 tables, and set down my beer, behind me.
Cheap, for bar drinks, it helps me sleep.

   "Apologize."

   "Or what?"

   "Heh!" I can hear his grin, "Or I let her kick your ass, you want to
take this out to the parking lot?" Cars are just as better, they won't let
us take out the sticks, and bottles.  Spectrum awareness, the many possible
ways to approach this radiating out in front of me, like a reverse point of
perspective.

   [ ] Bar fight.  How Bukowski!  Huh, put a dent in it.  Steady hands, not
enough to dull reflexes, screened, no lateral ways to attack without
jumping a table.  Contract my peripheral awareness, focus.

   "Or do you really want to do this infrontof all your Friend." He chucks
his head, and lets the bottle hang down by the neck, on his left.

   "Her?"

   "Left!" En guarde.  Well no, wide the fuck open, pull the lunge to a
cherry tap.  "Touche'." Like Ruth always said 'Surprise.' only leaving a
dot of blue chalk on his teeshirt.  "Nhihihinh!" Instead of bending the
foil upward, or putting it through his sternum.  Nah, it'd probably snap
first, or my grip would slip up the taper.  I need to get that cue with the
carbon fiber wrapped grip.  Graphite, expensive, I can dream.  Step back,
and let it slide down to bounce on the cap of my toe.  [x] One touch..

   Huey takes a pull, "Hah!  Thank's for trying out, bub." Pats his
shoulder, and turns him away.  "Stripes?"

   "Mh?" look back, "Oh, nothing sank." He set down his beer, so I handed
him the stick.  "Chalk that," he lines up the 4, with a possible leave back
on the 7, if he uses the right english.  He's helping me with my English.
Even with the blunted tip, I could have stabbed him in the crychoid space,
the way he froze, and looked over at Bert's sidestep.  "Nhihin!"

   "Pertty good jukebox," he side-stepped, and leaned over for the 7. 
Okay, I wouldn't have made that either, he hands me the stick.  "No, the
eleven." Eleven, eleven...

   [The Faint - Casual Sex.]

   |:_._...| "Fuck!" Lean over, he reaches around my hips to feel down to
my wrist, makes a bridge with the other hand.  'Whhhhhh..."
"Good." I need another beer, to counter the adrenaline, and steady my
hands, so I kill the first one, and hand it to him.  "Hm," stand it up, and
look over the table.  "Lousy leave, though." I think my hyperawareness was

starting to go away.  "Focus."

   She {MIT NS Diag}

   "Hey'Bert."

   "Heh huh ha." Sounds like Elvis Costello.  "Out of town, Doc?"

   "What's this about?"

   "Schizotypal Personality Disorder."

   "Mhm?  I've worked with a couple cases.  How pronounced?"

   "Mega?"

   "Uh?" She had to think.

   "Herm social avoidance, alienation, and so forth are basically caused by
not being completely human, but her ADD is off the scale.  She can't focus,
she has hyperfocused, a few times under extreme circumstances, but her main
communication barrier seems to be translating into linear human language."

   ...

   "I need to think." ...  "Schizotypals are typically asexual."

   "Are they?  I'm not sure about her sexuality.  Mentally, she's romantic,
but, her fantasies are becoming more violent." The reason I finally brought
herm back, and eventually had to call.

   "Mhm?" Not sure what she had in hir lips, "Rape Fantasies?"

   "No," huh, "Like you say, asexual.  Anatomical curiosity, and herm body
can feel pleasure, but even with herm hypersensitivity, it takes all my
tricks just to arouse herm, and I'm running out of them.  (Not to mention
anatomical issues, like anal displacement to compensate for herm shallow
cervix.)"

   "Alright, well maybe that would be consistent.  Tr?"

   "Uh huh?" Edition of the DSM-IV, as if I had any idea what if anything
changed in that section.

   "If you substitute the futuristic Transhuman," she didn't say Fantasy,
or Delusion, "..'Ism for the magical thinking...  Yes, I can see where
there's overlap."

   "Co-diagnosis?"

   "Perhaps, where're you calling from?"

   Hir kitchen, as it turns out.  "Who're you stalking?" Not really a
question.

   "Huh," Took a moment, "I'm in Florida for the weekend." Dust on the
counters, and Cutting board.

   "6 weeks?" I guestimated.

   "Uh!" rolled eyes?  "Thereabouts."

   "Hurry back."

   "What did she say?" sHe rubbed my back.

   "We can not worry about rent, for a week, or maybe 2."

   "Uh," she bit her lip, thoughtfully.  "Do you know why, those two are
still free?"

   "Ruth, and Janet?" I guessed, "Not completely.  Huh, Maud did the
'Calculation.' She's really best at diagnosis, figuring out what's wrong,
then usually refers patients for treatment, and prognosis.  Never really
trusted her abilities to predict, or affect behavior," and with recent
events, I was coming around to her side.  "So, she looks at the whole
picture.  The forest, the trees, the leaves, the roots, and the paths
between them.  That's why I don't understand the whole thought process
behind it, but I can talk about the prognoses.  Take Janet for example, I
really hardly know Ruth.  You know what she did in Highschool, she went
through it twice, we're still looking for victims.  Well, I talked about
this with Maud, and she suspects that she may be trying to get imprisoned,
for College.  On rape charges, 3 guesses where she'll be placed in women's
prisons...  She's escalated about as far as she could on her own."

   "Until she met Ruth."

   "I don't fucking understand that, at all.  You know how I used to be
intimidated?  Well, aside from my mommy issues, my mental block is
Lesbians. I can't understand them, at all, being almost diametrically
opposed on the gender, sex, and attraction scales." Can't really get
anything out of FF porn, either.  "I'm probably not capable of answering
that question."

   "But Maud is."

   "I don't know any more.  Maud is Maud.  I'm not sure she even
understands hir any more." I kissed her, "Sometimes, there's no
satisfactory answer."

   Tainted Love {Gloria Jones (Ed Cobb)}

   And there she was.  I was just doing an artsearch {(f)} and came apon

   [Lovers II: Ruth Cannon.]

   Wax, and wood, respectively, facing, holding each-other.  At the chest,
and privates, not mirror images, but cast one from the other with a female
mold.  Eye-to eye, it looks like their stares are locked, but I can't walk
around it, or rotate it in 3D.  Looks like a camera phone shot, but
artfully lit.

   [_Ruth_Cannon_] click) [Open Link in New Window...] Hmh, Goddess, in the
corner of my garage, [Private Collection]

   [God/dess] Daylight shot, sun dappling through the leaves, but snowy
background?  That blizzard, this March?  "Huh!" Need to hike back out
there, this evening.  These legs ain't getting no younger.  [On Display]
Hover over it brings up google maps, probably GPS.

   [Succubus] Stainless steel mop-sink, it looked like.  Brick/tile above
it, stood up on it's legs.  [Private Collection.] Upstairs master closet,
it's a walk-in.

   [The Lovers]

   .

   .

   .

   (Click [The Artist.]

   Standing in front of the mirror, bikini, gasp.  Just the self image
shot, this is what I have left.  Down to the implants up front, belly flat,
but loose, and wrinkled with stretch-marks I ached to run my fingers
through.  "Hm," the screen feels cold, and hard, so I tap it with my nails.
Great tan, and freckles on her shoulders with enough zoom.

   (Click [IMG]

   Hold that breath, turned to prop that toe on the hardwood, fist twisted
back like a d, behind the tight boulder of bottom, and hard looking pubis
mons framed by the hot pink piping of that itty bitty teeny weeny aqua
bikini with particolor (aqua on hot pink) top popped out in front of that
stretched out bicep.  I bought 'em, might as well appreciate them. 
"Huhahim!" Bite my lip, and that tricep, looked like a calf.  Bitter
lipstick.

   Holding up a track bike, fixie.  No brakes, looked like 28" mountain
bike tires.

   [Gallery] Longboat key Fl.  Off the coast of Sarasota.

   Back to [The Lovers.] Actually fairly modest, the way their arms cross
around each-other, impossibly the way she made them.  Okay, that's Meghan's
body, I can see that, but not crotch shots, none.  Nothing overtly
pornographic except for the explicit sexual contact.

   [Available in Bronze]?  Still has the molds, or lost wax, duh.

   [Adult Store:] Apparently learned HTML, or had a webmaster who could
imbed sound.

   "Little Triggers," ~E.  Costello (This Year's Model) "The tickle of your
tongue..."

   [Trigger] Front and center, but just scrolling through the thumbnails,
the most human looking.

   [Hand Carved Basalt.] Managed to match the shade.  Flesh tone brown, if
you have that particular shade of deep tan.  Holding it up for comparison
even if it's shot from below, where I'm not used to looking at It.  Erect,
the almost pointed tip exposed to the circumcision scar.

   [Not availible for reprouction.] Understandibly difficult to mold, what
with the skinlike wrinkles, the flat crease at the base, and ridges, almost
labia around it.  All the way out to the hips, standing up on what looked
like a burgundy velvet bedspread, or tablecloth.  Faithfully reproduced in
polished volcanic stone.  I remember the prototypes.  Flacid for Larry, and
the wooden one.  Hard, so I could feel what it was like, inside me.  (With
a condom, to prevent Splinters.) Not that she told me to "Go fuck
yourself," but she took it with Her.  Of course, I can tell myself she just
wanted me all to Herself, but it is unique, and I'm flattered by that.

   Liberacce' - "I'll be seeing you..." Maybe Jimmy Durante'?

   The back of my suit, Armani?  Haircut, bleach, and dye brown, get in
under her radar in drag.  Stop waxing a couple-few months.  No hat, I can
still walk male, in flats.  Or practice.  In the corner, looking over them.
With the mirrors behind them to either side.

   [IMG] Oh, they separate, but the only difference between them is his
groin.  Grown out, and a void in her forearm.  In translucent wax.  I
remember her hand on me, but not ever such an intense climax. 
Creshendississimo!  Turn around, as she comes up behind me, shades coming
off, in my new haircut.  Catching her eyes.

   "Surprise."

   .

   .

   .
   "huhN!"