JENNY McCARTHY IS FAT!
Last night I was watching MTV. (McCarthy Television). Jenny
McCarthy was on, as usual. She lifted up her shirt. I got an immediate
erection. (ThatÕs why I watch MTV.) But then, as I was breathlessly
waiting for her to lift her shirt up high enough to show her boobs, I saw
her stomach. It wasnÕt smooth and flat. It was fat! A big, blubbery
mound. And she admitted as much to the audience.
Jenny, darling. I know youÕve been thinking about me. But youÕre
afraid to go out with me because you think we have nothing in common.
But we do! (Now.) WeÕre both fat!
You neednÕt stay fat, Jenny. I can put you on holy joeÕs Special Diet
for Playmates. ItÕs a lot like a liquid protein diet, except it tastes better.
ItÕs my special sperm only diet. I provide it to you several times each day.
I make it myself, and itÕs free.
In addition to putting you on a sperm only diet, Jenny, we need to
have you engage in regular exercise. I know you have a busy schedule, but
they donÕt make you work nights, do they? So every night you can visit me
and we can have an extensive workout together. (I need to lose weight
too.) I know youÕre concerned about what a high-impact workout could do
to your joints and your bones. People have gotten shin-splints running,
and I even broke my foot once when I was running! DonÕt worry. I have a
big mattress we can work out on. You might be a little sore afterward,
but this is normal after a good workout.
You neednÕt invest in a lot of expensive workout clothes. I believe in
working out as the ancient Greeks did, in the nude. All the parts of your
body will be given a workout! When is the last time you went to the gym
and your nipples got a good workout? DonÕt worry! I wonÕt let them be
neglected. We can tie little weights on them and you can practice
swinging the weights around. I can stick something up your butt and we
can give your ass a good workout. Even your pussy will get a workout, and
your mouth! Not bad, eh? You might think, ÒWhat about my fingers? They
need a workout too!Ó Yes indeed! You will exercise your fingers in three
different ways: 1. Picking boogers out of my nose. 2. Yanking on my dick
for me. 3. Squeezing my balls repeatedly, and itching them for me.
Finally, there is the butt wipe. This is a special workout I developed
myself. It involves the whole hand. What happens is I sit down on the
toilet, and have a good poop. Then, you get to bend over and wipe me!
Afterwards you can enjoy an even greater range of motion by cleaning my
toilet for me. Yes indeed, Jenny, I belive in a Total Workout!
In addition to exercising all the parts of your body, we will have
special workouts. There is the ÒLicking holy joeÕs feet Workout.Ó This is
good practise for when you have a baby. What you do is count my toes for
me. Then you clip them for me, and massage them, and finally, you suck
each one of them. This gets your mouth losing weight as well as your
fingers. In addition, youÕll be bending over, which gives your tummy a
workout and lets your boobs (since youÕll be topless) waggle all around so
they donÕt gain any weight either. (Yours are big enough, believe me.)
Sometimes my dog doesnÕt eat all his food. Not to worry! This is
another chance for you to work out, Jenny! You can dig his food out of his
bowl with your mouth and take it to the wastecan and spit it into the
trash for him. Then, to exercise your tongue (again) you can lick his bowl
clean for him! IÕll even give you a special doggie collar so you can feel
special and loved, just like he is, while you are doing your Ôbowl workout.Õ
Finally there is bondage. I know this is a touchy subject. But,
believe me, with 50 whacks a night on your hiney with a cat oÕ nine tails
youÕll be inspired to do plenty of jumping around! YouÕll be thinking, ÒHo,
hum, IÕm too tired to work out. Working out is so boring.Ó But then IÕll get
out my whip! I guarantee you, you wonÕt think things are boring after that.
Jenny, I hate broadcasting this special offer to you all across the
Internet. See what happens when you donÕt give me your phone number?
But thatÕs what I have an e-mail address for. Just send me your phone
number and IÕll call you at once. WeÕll get started on your workout right
away!
Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 206
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Private Places
Chapter Five
After a half-hour or so we paddled back toward shore. I admit IÕd
peed in the silent lagoon, and Sam had too, Jill and I watching as he did it.
And Jill, feeling a little guilty, since she was a staunch environmentalist,
had pissed also. Wearing just our fin feet we flapped up onto the beach. I
gazed at our little teensy bikinis lying carelessly on our beach towel.
They were so small, yet weÕd shucked them off, preferring our birthday
suits. Yet we were a little apprehensive about coming back to shore, for
we knew that there was little tolerance in this province of Brazil for nude
sunbathing. It had all happened within the month, part of a Ôclean up
BrazilÕ morality campaign, started by the Catholic church and signed-off
on by several powerful politicians, hoping people wouldnÕt notice their
own wrongdoing with regard to the public treasury. Hostess herself had
warned us about the campaign. SheÕd been a little nervous about even our
party at the restaurant, IÕd learnt. And now here we were, coming ashore,
obviously in violation of the new ordinance, but sure we couldnÕt be
caught, could we? Did the jungle have eyes? We hoped not. There was
nothing but lush foliage for miles around. And SamÕs jeep was parked
nearby. Nonetheless it was with some haste that we pulled off our
flippers and hurried up the beach to get back into our swimsuits.
ÒStop right there!Ó we heard suddenly. I turned, Jill turned, Sam did
also, all three of us looking over our shoulders, our white bottoms
betraying us. It was hostess! Or Ms. Lalique, as she preferred to call
herself, me bearing her own initial inside my puss. Four guards stood with
her, one of them much older, and I realized suddenly he was no guard, but
her husband.
ÒYes, this is my husband,Ó hostess said to us, confirming my worst
fears, for the man had a menacing look about him, uncompromising. And I
knew at once he must have been one of the corrupt politicians looking to
free himself from blame by signing onto the Ôclean up BrazilÕ campaign.
Sam looked particularly worried. His cock was sticking straight out in
front of him, and he had not only been swimming naked, he had been alone
with hostess a week before our dinner party together! I doubted the pain
heÕd felt on his ass after that meeting did little to assuage her husbandÕs
anger at having this man naked with his wife. And now he was naked still,
with Jill and I accompanying him. His eyes darted to hostess, but hers
only stared back coldly in response.
ÒIÕm afraid IÕm in a bit of trouble with my husband for having that
dinner party,Ó hostess told us, betraying not the least compassion for us.
ÒIn return, IÕve offered to save myself by helping him ferret out nudists
who are wilfully violating our new law.Ó Her eyes admired my figure,
JillÕs. Yet she did not show any sign of helping us win a reprieve from her
husband.
ÒYou are both in violation of the new law against indecent
exposure,Ó the governor told us. And I had no doubt that we were. WeÕd all
heard about the new law, just assumed weÕd never be caught, thatÕs all.
But weÕd chatted with hostess over the phone a few times since our dinner
together, Sam especially, still drawn to her somehow, and one of us,
obviously, had divulged our vacation plans to her. Well, it wasnÕt me, I
knew that! Jill quietly took my hand. I could feel her squeeze mine, knew
she was desperately afraid. She was looking to me to comfort her, but I
was visibly shivering! ÒThe penalty for indecent exposure is whipping, in
public,Ó the governor said, without the slightest trace of emotion, except
perhaps in his eyes, which gleaming like a wolfÕs.
We were made to turn around and face away from our captors. I
squeezed my bottom cheeks, thinking I might get slapped there. I couldnÕt
bear the thought of getting whipped! My arms were drawn roughly behind
me by one of the guards. He seemed to have no sympathy for my beauty, or
my youth. I dug my toes into the sand as he locked my wrists into a pair
of cold, iron handcuffs. They were heavy, not like lightweight police
handcuffs. Brazil couldnÕt afford such things. These were from many
years ago, from the time of chain gangs. I imagined a rebel Indian
princess might have worn them once, fighting the Spanish, losing finally,
being taken prisoner, never to see her beloved wild jungle lands again.
And beside me, struggling, was my prince, Sam. With such an
ordinary name, I shouldÕve known he wouldnÕt save me. He was cuffed,
seemed to accept his fate at last, as Ms. Lalique ran her nailed finger up
the crack between his asscheeks. His chest bulged out in front of him. His
lance-like penis stood hugely erect. It seemed to gorge itself upon the
air, pumping, pulsing, as behind Ms. Lalique tickled SamÕs hair in his
asscrack. I looked at him, my muff rudely displayed, my legs apart,
casually, but stiff because I was scared now, no longer just a little nudist
playing on the beach. My titties were upturned and jiggling heavily,
obscenely, in front of me, pushed out by my woefully cuffed hands. I
glanced at Jill. Her own breasts jutted forward as she was cuffed in turn.
ÒMarch!Ó Ms. Lalique ordered. I wanted to remain planted right where
I was, let me die here, but a sharp slap on my ass sent me tearfully
forward. On one side, JillÕs jiggling figure tromped along beside me, on
the other Sam manfully pressed forward, the governor voicing obscene
suggestions for SamÕs butthole while his cock pointed us toward our
captorÕs waiting van.
At least, IÕd hoped it would be a van. But as we passed from the
beach, through a leafy canopy, and finally onto a road, I found to my
gasping surprise that we were to be transported in a jeep! An ordinary,
top-down jeep, with no sides on it, like a young man might drive. Except
it was the governorÕs jeep, I realized, as he climbed in, his wife beside
him, and myself, Jill, and Sam were ordered into the back.
I found my bottom settling into wet leather. It had just started
drizzling, and the backseat of the jeep had already received a sprinkling.
At least the rainwater was cool against my slapped ass! Jill sat down on
one side of me, Sam on the other. The guards passed a rope over our
bellies. It was mercifully soft. The rope was tied off on either side of
the jeep so we wouldnÕt fall out, sitting there with our hands cuffed
behind us, utterly helpless. I looked down, saw a second rope lay coiled
neatly at our feet.
ÒStep into the loops of the rope on the floor. ItÕs for your own
safety,Ó Miss Lalique advised, leaning over the back of her seat and
looking at us. ÒDonÕt play the hero, Sam. I value your cock too much to see
you thrown out. Step in or youÕll be lost on the trip back.Ó Reluctantly,
Sam stepped into two loops provided for him, just as Jill and I did. Two
loops, for each of us, and the guard immediately pulled the rope taut and
bound us by our feet into the jeep.
The governor started the ignition as the guards retreated to a jeep
of their own, parked behind the governorÕs. I pulled my knees up, but they
could barely move, my feet were so well tied. I squirmed in my seat but
the rope across my belly held me in place.
VRRROOMM! Suddenly the governor threw the jeep forward, and
immediately into a spin. I saw himself and his wife tossed about in their
seats, realized they were wearing seatbelts. No ordinary soul could have
survived the jeepÕs turn-about otherwise. I looked up, behind me. The
jeep had a roll bar. I was thankful for that, but still didnÕt want to find
myself upside down in a recked jeep! How terrible to be hanging like that,
and have to be cut down, perhaps by primitive natives!
We rocketed off into the jungle. The governor drove like a 16-year-
old with a new license. The dirt road was uncomfortable. I saw him
grinning at us in the rear-view mirror, leering at my titties as they
bounced up and down with wild abandon, along with JillÕs. Poor Sam! Ms.
Lalique had a salacious view of his penis in her own side-mounted mirror
as it waggled furiously up and down, totally loose, utterly hard, with
every ass-jouncing jolt of the jeep. We flew through the foliage, a light
rain sprinkling us. Colorful birds and parrots and even monkeys went
scampering out of our way, deeper into the trees, as we flew in our 20th
century vehicle through this pristine, primal wilderness. Somewhere
behind us the guards strove to keep up. I knew now why we were so well
tied. It wasnÕt just for our safety. Without the guards, Sam might have
found a way to overpower the governor, except he was too heavily bound to
break free. I saw him working his wrists though, hoping, but it was futile.
He was no James Bond, just a stud with a big prick, unable to control even
it at the moment!
ÒDonÕt lose your load, Sam,Ó Ms. Lalique screamed back at him,
grinning, turning to admire him face-to-face. Under SamÕs cock I saw his
balls slapping the seat, heavy and full, desperate to cum. I knew this ride
wasnÕt helping any. Imagine having your testicles thudding upon the seat
like that! I suppose if he were empty it might not have been so bad. But
he was deliciously full, and watching his torment I felt dew between my
legs, in my gash, and knew it wasnÕt from the lightly falling rain.
ÒWill this make my breasts sag?Ó I asked Jill, turning to her. My
bosoms were flying about like water balloons.
ÒOh, I hope not!Ó Jill answered. We both had hard nipples, but our
boobies, firm as they were, simply flew like flapjacks under the torturous
ride, hitting our chins, our ribs down below, making us look ridiculous.
Our heinies bounced upon the seat with punishing force. Fortunately we
girls both had nicely-fleshed bottoms, though mine was a bit
Ôunderfatted,Õ you might say, compared to JillÕs, me being still so young.
Poor Sam, with his angular manÕs bottom, must have suffered most,
pounding up and down right on his hip bones.
I think we all breathed a sigh of relief, even hostess, as we pulled up
at last in front of a shrouded Incan temple. At first I couldnÕt believe that
this was hostess and the governorÕs house, but natives ran out and drew
back big wooden gates, letting us in, and I realized there must be some
kind of residence set up here, amidst the ancient stones and foliage.
The jeep rolled slowly through a square inside the temple walls.
Turning this way and that, I saw giant stonework rising around us, with
friezes of Indian gods cut into the flat stone walls. Vines grew up them,
offering hope of escape, perhaps, if only Sam could get us free. Behind us
the gates remained open to admit the guards.
I felt eyes upon me. From wooden huts scattered about the square
people began to emerge. Not just those at the gates, but more, just to
look, just to watch us drive in. I felt a rising sense of shame as clothed
Indians stared at my nudity. Old men, old women, tut-tutting to one
another. And young men too, like those at the gate, evaluating Sam and his
penis, staring at me and Jill. There were pregnant Indian women too, in
fact most of the young women seemed pregnant. Not just that, but often
on the girlÕs back I saw a papoose, even as another child grew in her belly.
Children, emerging from their huts, laughed at us. One small boy, catching
my eye, with a stick in his hand, whacked his leg. He seemed to know
what must happen to me, to Jill, to Sam, and he hit his leg again. He did
not seem to mind the slash of the thin whippy branch upon his leg. I
wondered if I could be as oblivious to pain as he. But then, I doubted my
leg would be hit. No, my leg would be spared, I feared, for it meant a
dearer part of me wouldnÕt be.
With wet asses we rose up from the jeep, the guards arriving,
untying us. The natives watched from a respectful distance as we
dismounted. My blonde hair streamed wetly down over my shoulders,
matching the moist curls of my muff. Primitive eyes admired the carriage
of my breasts, so bare and white, and sized up the hind cheeks of my ass,
wiggling tensely atop my nervous legs. I stubbed my toe on a rock. I cried
out audibly, the natives laughed. I looked down, saw a nick had been made
in my red-painted toenail.
ÒMove, girls!Ó Ms. Lalique said remorselessly.
A wooden plantation house stood just behind the largest rock-hewn
pyramid in the temple complex, facing it, as if the pyramid owned the
house or, perhaps, the house owned the pyramid. A broad porch encircled
the house. It seemed to be an oasis of civilization, with its white paint
and its porch swing. We were hurried up onto the porch and inside the
house.
ÒGive them their bath, then put them into one of the rooms for
safekeeping!Ó Ms. Lalique ordered a native servant. He bowed,
worshipfully, and then ordered us up a broad, winding hardwood staircase.
Advancing up the steps I realized, hopefully, that dungeons donÕt often lie
upstairs. Perhaps we would be better treated than I thought. I glanced at
Jill. She walked just a little behind me, biting her lip. Sam marched
ahead, gallant in his captivity, like a captured officer turning in his sword
but not his honor. Except, in this case, heÕd gotten to keep his sword, at
least so far!
We were escorted to a large marble bathtub. Someone had already
filled it. Without removing our handcuffs, the native servant made us get
into the tub. It was steaming hot. I winced as I sat my bottom down in
the water under the servantÕs watchful eye. Sam announced the
submergence of his stiff prick beneath the water with a hollar.
ÒThis will kill all the sperm in my balls,Ó Sam complained.
ÒThen girls not so pregnant afterward,Ó our servant replied happily.
Perhaps that was native birth control, though I doubted it worked. Jill and
I had skipped our pills, loving the idea of swimming naked, being one with
nature. Now I wished we hadnÕt. Steamed or not, SamÕs balls bulged
hugely beneath the clear water, ensuring us of well-spermed cunts if he
ever was permitted to screw us.
MEDITERRANEAN MADNESS
by Lauren Duckett
Italian eyes set ablaze, ignite my flesh in roaring flames. My
arched body lies in heated anticipation, waiting... wanting... longing.
Tower over me, seizing at your desire this wretched virginity. Take me
as roughly as your molten masculinity should require, for I am
unworthy of your love, as your lust supplies my life, my breath. I am
taken captive, your eternal prisoner, to punish me as you please.
AND IN THE END...
When Girls Are Ready
(ItÕs not 18)
ÒA recent poll by MTV shows that the average British teenager
first has sex at 15 1/2.Ó
- Newsweek, February 24, 1997, pg. 8.
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-END OF 206 EMISSION