Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 234
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Cunt Castle
Chapter One
Ò...Piss, Louis. A fine penis like yours must make excellent pee,Ó
Rose said.
With that inspiration, Louis wedged the bulbous nose of his cock up
against the open bottleneck and lustily let loose his urine. Andre did the
same. Rose returned her gaze to me and put her fingers to my pussy.
Lightly she tickled me.
ÒDoonÕt!Ó I cried. Beyond her I saw my boyfriend peeing, and PollyÕs,
and suddenly she started a stream of her own. Rose put a hand between
her own legs and, standing there before me, suddenly began peeing on the
carpet. The maid rushed forward to catch what she could. I guessed sheÕd
be the one to have to clean the rug.
ÒPee with us,Ó Rose urged, tickling my cunny.
ÒNo, I, itÕs too perverted,Ó I gasped. I did not want to be a full-
grown girl of 14 peeing like a two-year old on a plastic potty. I felt a
bubbling within me. I could not hold it! Suddenly, peeing over her fingers,
I made my offering. Rose smiled. No more words were exchanged. We
stared at each other, then both looked down into the bowl as my pee came
out. It was utterly decadent. The moment seemed to last forever, the men
peeing behind Rose, she herself wetting the carpet, the maid scrambling to
get down between her legs with a teapot, the only thing sheÕd had to grab
when Rose suddenly decided to go; and Polly, childishly peeing into her
potty with not the slightest reservation. It was a potty, after all, and she
was a girl who wished to go.
In a few moments all our bladders were empty. The men sat back
down in their chairs. The young maid appeared, took their bottles away,
inspecting the contents and thanking them for their contribution to the
estate. The menÕs urine would brood in chilled wine cellars, next to
expensive wines, until they were ripe and ready to drink. The finest pee-
wine, aged to perfection, from men with impressive dongs and girl would
beg to have put up her.
The older maid withdrew the teapot from between RoseÕs legs. She
brought a hot towel for Rose to wipe her hand on. Rose cleaned her
fingers. Then she let the maid withdraw my bowel and, when it was gone,
she reached between my legs and toweled me with the hot towel. After
sheÕd done me, and the maid had taken PollyÕs bowl away, she towelled
Polly too. We both squirmed at the feeling of the towel, so steamy and
hot, touching us in our most erotic parts. Polly let out a little yelp of
pleasure as her own spot was cleansed and aroused. I guessed Rose might
be preparing us for the next step. Being fucked. It could not be delayed
much longer. The men were hard beyond belief, trembling with their
hugely swollen balls, desperate to cum. Polly and I had been teased and
tormented to distraction. Only Rose seemed calm. Perhaps thatÕs why she
had gone first. Being done with her orgasm, she could now cooly play the
ringmistress to the rest of us. Yes, that must be it. SheÕd used Louis to
bring her off so she could more accurately guide he and I as we did it, and
Andre and Polly. That was our purpose here, wasnÕt it? To be mated. To
make love to each other as we never had before.
PRAISE GOD!
with holy joe
I was on my way to the bar to seek out a 40-something woman.
Mature, confident, assertive; someone with whom I could have a
meaningful relationship with. On my way there, I passed by a sign. It
read, ÒTower Books.Ó Suddenly an image of young girls throwing their
underwear at me and running around naked entered my mind. I tried to
suppress this sinful thought.
ÒWhy,Ó I lectured myself, Òwould a grown man like yourself prefer a
nude, irresponsible young girl who still chews gum and watches cartoons
to a positive, uplifting, fulfilling relationship with a mature woman?Ó
But then I felt a gnawing sense of concern. What if one of those girls had
somehow wound up in a menÕs magazine? WouldnÕt that be tragic? Should
I go dancing at some bar when I could be performing a valuable service to
the community? Surely Senator Hatch wouldnÕt want me hanging around
some bar when I could be protecting our nationÕs children! So I decided to
make a sacrifice. I decided to spend my Friday evening examining all the
new porno at Tower Books.
Hawk, June 1997, $5.99. Hawk Magazine, 801 Second Ave., 9th Floor, New
York, NY 10017.
Review: Ye Gods! My worst fears were realized the minute I saw
this magazine. Look at this disgusting cover: ÒFrom Crayons to Cocks,Ó it
reads! Why, one recalls to mind the 1960Õs, when all the 40-something
women were little girls, Òflower children,Ó and a popular song on the
radio contained the line, ÒGirl, YouÕll be a Woman Soon... From Crayons to
Perfume.Ó
I would hate for this country to return to the 1960Õs. I myself might
have a girlfriend if that happened, perhaps even a Òflower child.Ó I might
be so busy with her that I wouldnÕt have time to ship porn to every
computer in the world. That would indeed be a tragedy. And I certainly
wouldnÕt have time to stand in Tower, gaping at porn within 10 yards of a
section of the store containing ChildrenÕs books! So I figured IÕd better
examine ÒHawkÓ very closely indeed, lest it contain anything more
subversive than a few ill-considered words on its cover.
Alas! My worst fears came to pass. This country may already be
well on its way to reviving the decadence of the 1960Õs. Look at the
pictorial ÒMonique.Ó There, a very young girl dresses in riding gear, but
somehow manages to leave her bottom bare. In addition to sticking her
bottom into the viewerÕs face, she actually holds a stiff riding crop under
her ass. Does she feel sheÕs been naughty? Does she need a big man like
me, with an uncontrollably hard cock, to discipline her for missing her
riding lessons?
Fortunately, I donÕt know a thing about how to bring a girl to heel,
especially using a riding crop. IÕm sure sheÕll be safe if she should bump
into me.
Penthouse Variations, May 1997, $4.99. Penthouse:
http://www.penthousemag.com
Review: Well, I concluded the previous review certain that any girl I
met who showed me her bottom and asked me to use a riding crop on it
would escape unscathed. But that was before I saw this magazine.
Ye Gods! You will not believe this issue. It contains photos that are
virtually a step-by-step guide to punishing naughty girls! Page 42
actually shows a girl chained up and being whipped by a mistress! Page 44
shows her about to be butt-fucked by the same woman. On page 46, sheÕs
forced to lick her mistressÕ cunt! The following pages depict more
bondage scenes. And, throughout this magazine, are several luscious butt
shots of girls. Gorgeous butt shots, the kind that almost make you spill as
youÕre looking at Variations with some poor, innocent child reading aloud
from a book about Easter bunnies only a few aisles away!
Hustler, June 1997, $5.99. Hustler: http://www.hustler.com
Review: My hands were trembling with concern as I picked up this
magazine. After all, on the web Larry FlintÕs Hustler site offers ÒThe
Youngest Babes Allowed by Law.Ó How many poor, innocent 18-year-old
girls would I find stripped nude within the pages of this issue? As I felt
saliva dripping from my mouth with worry, I opened the magazine.
Nothing. Not a single youthful female in the entire magazine.
Whew! Praise God -- and Larry Flint too! Finally IÕd found at least
one magazine that was being socially responsible.
I put Hustler back on the rack. After all, I had no reason to buy this.
My mission was to lawfully remove from the newsstand rack any and all
magazines containing underage-looking females. But then, just to make
sure I hadnÕt missed anything, I picked up Hustler again. No harm in
checking twice, right?
In a pictorial titled ÒGorge Explorers,Ó I found two young women
kissing. ItÕs a very sexy photo, these two women crushing their breasts
together as they kiss one another. And this concerned me because, really,
do we need photos of women engaging in lesbian sex in America? Is this
what America stands for -- the freedom to be a lesbian? So, even though
this issue of Hustler didnÕt contain any photos of young girls, I decided to
buy it anyway. After all, if some woman came across this magazine, and
saw these two lesbians kissing, she might decide to become one! Then all
us men would have to become fags, since there were no women around. So
I bought Hustler to keep all us men on the straight and narrow path, the
path that leads to HeavenÕs Gate!
Penthouse Comix, May 1997, $4.95. Penthouse Comix, P.O. Box 420501,
Palm Coast, FL 32142-9319.
Review: Having looked at three porno magazines, I needed a break. I
decided to cleanse my soul by reading a wholesome comic. Here was a
nice issue, featuring a big volcano on its cover. Admittedly, there were
also two women on the cover, but they both looked pretty old and, anyway,
they were fighting, and everyone knows fightingÕs okay, itÕs only sex and
women kissing each other thatÕs bad.
In this comic, I was shocked to find that some of the pages are
uncolored, while others are printed on very cheap-looking, and almost
unreadable brown paper (in brown ink, no less). Well, I supposed, if you
canÕt make out whatÕs going on in a comic I suppose thatÕs wholesome,
since how can you be corrupted by something you canÕt even read?
Then I came across a story in this comic titled ÒMilo ManaraÕs
Hidden Camera.Ó The title page was printed very wholesomely, in
unreadable brown ink on unreadable brown paper. Unfortunately, the story
itself was printed on good slick white paper, and in color to boot. This
worried me. What if there was something sexy in this story? I might
actually be able to see it!
My worst fears were realized. On page 70 a girl takes off her
panties. She walks down the street bare-legged, just wearing her
sweater. Fortunately, there wasnÕt anything exciting in the whole rest of
the story, not even a shot of her getting whipped on her ass. I bought the
magazine anyway, so no girls would see it and be inspired to take their
panties off. But otherwise itÕs a pretty harmless issue. Even a Canadian
could buy this issue, which will be quite helpful, IÕm sure, to Bob
GuccioneÕs pocketbook, since he wonÕt have to Ôwhite outÕ certain panels.
IÕm always glad to see an American publisher knuckling under to the
Canadians. WhatÕs the point of America being the most powerful nation on
earth if you canÕt have all your magazines kowtow to Canadian law?
XX Rated Close-Up, June 1997, $6.99. Swank Publications, Inc., 210 Route
4 East, Suite 401, Paramus, NJ 07652.
Review: Content in the thought that all American publishers were
now following the wholesome, feminist laws of Canada, I returned to the
porno rack. Next up, this magazine. I was thumbing through it and hadnÕt
found anything that really interested me when I came upon ÒTerri.Ó Ye
cats! This girl looks like a girl straight out of a Naughty Naked Dreamgirls
story! So young -- and yet stacked! I couldnÕt believe my eyes. I had to
pinch myself to make sure the Rapture hadnÕt arrived and transported me
up to Heaven. Was this a little angel I was looking at, with her sweet
smile and luscious big boobs? Then I realized I was still at Tower,
because I could still hear the little girl in the ChildrenÕs section reading
about the Easter bunny.
Of course I added this issue to the growing pile in my arms. We
wouldnÕt want any young girls with beautiful bosoms coming across this
magazine! They might decide to pose naked, maybe even in Hustler, or
ÒParadiseÓ magazine, and then IÕd have to come back to Tower again and
buy those issues. It might become a never-ending cycle, with me having to
run to Tower every day!
PlayboyÕs College Girls, $6.95. Playboy: http://www.playboy.com
Review: I bought another copy of this magazine. ItÕs very dangerous.
The last girl in the magazine is named ÒTiffany Taylor.Ó SheÕs probably
the most beautiful girl you will ever see in your life. And she looks quite
young, too. Worse, she dresses in schoolgirl clothes and bends over and
shows her bottom while sheÕs eating a bowl of cereal. Worse still, she
sticks her hands down the front of her panties and frigs herself. And she
even stares into the camera with big, soulful eyes, while wearing a
schoolgirl sweater thatÕs been ruthlessly pulled up to expose her glorious
bosoms. So I grabbed another copy of this magazine, lest some 18-year-
old boy see her in it and get the idea of having sex with young girls.
Club, June 1997, $5.99. Club Magazine, P.O. Box 133, Mount Morris, IL
61054.
Review: ÒVictoria and AndyÓ is the only pictorial of note in this
issue. ItÕs another one of those pictorials containing glorious shots of the
female bottom. I bought it, just to be on the safe side. Bottoms are for
sitting on, not for showing nude in a magazine.
Now that IÕve listed all the magazines that you should avoid this
month, lest your soul be corrupted, let me address myself for a moment to
the clerks at Tower Books. Men (and feminists), we are not dealing with
magazines here. We are dealing with evidence. Evidence of violations of
the Hatch Act. Normally I would be glad to see you wreck porno magazines
as you ring them up at the cash register. What better punishment for a
pervert than to see his porn destroyed by the clerk as he attempts to pay
for it? After all, whatÕs he going to do, announce in front of everybody,
ÒMs. Clerk, you just dented and mishandled $60.00 worth of porn?Ó No, no.
HeÕs going to stand there quietly and submissively while you destroy his
investment.
But in the case of violations of the Hatch Act, we are dealing with
evidence. As such, evidence must be handled very, very carefully. First,
we wouldnÕt want your fingerprints on the magazines. You might get in
trouble. So, my recommendation is that you should put on rubber gloves
before handling this evidence. Disposable rubber gloves are quite
inexpensive and are available at any medical supply house. By keeping
your greasy paws off this evidence, you can ensure that you donÕt wind up
in prison with porn publishers and perverts.
Next comes the matter of physically handling this evidence as you
ring it up. I have noticed a disturbing tendency among TowerÕs clerks. A
clerk will pick up a magazine, looking for its price. As he picks it up the
magazine bends in his hands. Real dipshit clerks hold the magazine in such
a way that it bends twice. This could possibly leave a dent on the
evidentiary photos inside the magazine. Please donÕt do it. ItÕs harder to
convict a publisher if the girl in the photo has dents in her ass. The jury
will look at it and say, ÒWell, yes, the girl does look rather young, but
with that big dent in her ass who can say the photo is dangerous?Ó We
want to keep her bottom looking fresh, beautiful, and undented, so the full
horror of its nudity will be realized by the jury.
HereÕs how to properly handle this evidence. First, make sure you
have plenty of room on the counter next to the cash register. Then,
carefully lay my pile of 18 porno magazines beside the cash register. To
see how much a magazine costs, donÕt pick it up. Bend over. By bending
over you will avoid handling the magazine, and youÕll get some exercise
too. After youÕve found the price, and rung up the magazine, carefully
slide it off the top of the pile. Now look at the next magazine. Keep on
doing this until each magazine has been rung up.
Now comes the part where the evidence must be put in a bag. Have
you ever seen policemen put evidence in a bag? They do it very carefully.
With porno evidence, I suggest the following: 1. Place the empty bag on
the counter. DonÕt bring the porn to the bag, bring the bag to the porn. 2.
With the bag lying atop the counter, carefully slide the pile of porn into
the bag. Note that at no time do you physically pick up the porn
(especially with one hand). Instead, you merely *slide* the whole pile of
porn into the bag with one hand, while holding the bag open with your
other hand. Then, when the porn is bagged, simply add the cash register
receipt to the bag. Please donÕt jam the receipt into a porno magazine.
You might scratch valuable photographic evidence. Just drop the receipt
into the bag. Now, with the evidence neatly bagged, slide the whole bag
across the counter to the pervert. He will take it from you and you can
spend the rest of the day happy in the knowledge that you did absolutely
nothing to inhibit enforcement of our countryÕs wonderful laws.
As I left Tower, I was still nominally in the saving grip of our Lord
Jesus Christ, but my mind had been warped. I still sang, as is my habit,
songs of the glorious grace of our Father in Heaven. But IÕd altered the
words slightly:
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Including bookstores with porno.
Praise girls who take off their clothes,
So they can be seen by holy joe.
Amen!
AND IN THE END...
EXONÕS PLAN B
ÒSingapore and China... are experimenting with national
ÔfirewallsÕ -- combinations of software and hardware that block their
citizensÕ access to certain newsgroups and Web sites.Ó
- Scientific American, March 1997, pg. 64.
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-END OF 234 EMISSION