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I HAVE SINNED !
Dear God,
You warned me of the penalty. You tried to save me. You did your
best.
It is I who failed.
Oh, what a worthless shit I am! How lazy, how indolent! I could have
done the right thing, but instead I chose to do the wrong thing.
I saw the warning which you so amply and explicitly provided me
with. I read it, way back in March. Right there, on the last page of the
April 1998 Club Confidential: ÒNext issue on sale March 31st.Ó
I have no excuse. It is entirely my fault, Lord. What a sinner I am--
to sit at home jacking off over the old issue of Club Confidential, when
the new one was already out on the newsstand !
I went down to Tower Books on Monday, Lord. On Monday, April 13th.
I went to Tower Books to buy Club Confidential. And it was sold out!
AUGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!
God, your divine punishment for my laziness is so harsh! Not only did
I miss the new issue of Club Confidential, I was forced to buy the very
last copy of Mayfair!
Heavenly God! You know how I hate to get stuck with the last copy of
a magazine. ItÕs always dented, beat-up, wrinkled, and coated with sweat
from the palms of all the guys who read it for free! Yuck!
But I bought it Lord, because this monthÕs Mayfair is truly a fabulous
issue. Allow me to warn other sinners of its greatness, Lord, so they
donÕt waste time yanking their wieners when they should be down at
Tower Books:
Mayfair, June 1998, $5.99. E-mail: mayfair@pr-org.co.uk
Review: This magazine used to cost $6.99 in America. Now it only
costs $5.99. Undoubtedly the reason is because more guys are buying it,
and instead of being an expensive import, Mayfair is becoming a regular
American magazine.
Woe to any of my American buddies who miss this monthÕs issue!
The cover is bright yellow. On the cover is a picture of a blonde. Her name
is Sabrina. She has an excellent face and spectacular bosoms. She is
wearing a skimpy white t-shirt with wonderfully big arm holes, letting
the viewer peer at her glorious cleavage. Just to make sure you donÕt miss
the chance to view her assets, Sabrina is yanking on her t-shirt, pulling it
away from her chest and making those big armholes in her shirt even
bigger. There is nothing better than a girl with big bosoms, wearing a t-
shirt. Especially when the shirt is unable to conceal her tits, such that
her bosoms are bulging out through the shirtÕs armholes!
Are you in the ÔpornÕ business? Do you want to be? Take a look at
the cover of this monthÕs Mayfair. Guys, this is what SELLS. If you put a
blonde like Sabrina on the cover of your magazine, especially in a skimpy
white t-shirt, you will make lots of money.
Sabrina is probably the most gorgeous female to appear in porn
magazines this year. Everything about her is perfect. Her face, her
bosoms, her hips, her legs. Everything. She is truly a perfect blonde.
You would think a blonde like Sabrina would be well placed in life.
You know, married to a billionaire. Until recently, though, this perfect
blonde was forced to make her living standing out in the cold!
Sabrina lists her profession as Òhostess.Ó Mayfair asks her:
Mayfair: What sort of hostess are you exactly?
Sabrina: I work in a club thatÕs... how can I put this... of an adult
nature?
Mayfair: A Ôstrip clubÕ you mean?
Sabrina: ... Yes!
Mayfair: So what does being a hostess... involve?
Sabrina: I used to be the one at the entrance asking guys to come in
and see the show, but nowadays I walk around inside checking everybody is
happy and making sure theyÕve all got drinks.
Mayfair: So, do you like your job?
Sabrina: It beats the door work -- itÕs a lot warmer inside!
See what I mean? Unbelievable! ItÕs shocking to think a girl as
perfect as Sabrina was forced to stand outside in the cold, being, in
effect, a human billboard. But she is quite happy working indoors. Sabrina
says: ÒThe place is just sex central. All us girls [in the club] are, if not
totally nude, wearing very little. Some days I go in and spend the whole
day feeling turned on. ItÕs the smell, the atmosphere, the whole thing can
really get you going.Ó (Pages 7, 10.)
Wow. Imagine that. Sabrina walking around, mixing with the
customers, not only nude but sexually excited! For hours! And a totally
perfect blonde, too. Someday IÕm going to string up some Christmas lights
outside my dumpster and call it a Òclub.Ó Then maybe IÕll get some girls
in here!
Unfortunately, Mayfair doesnÕt say which club Sabrina works at. But
IÕm sure if you e-mail them, theyÕll be happy to tell you.
Right, Mayfair?
Alas, Claire CassÕs pictorial didnÕt appeal to me as much as IÕd
hoped. The last two pages are great, and the centerfold is passable, but
the other pages lacked the Ôfantasy elementÕ thatÕs usually included in a
Clair Cass pictorial. I will never forget Claire as an innocent art student,
and as a naughty nurse. Sadly, this issue sheÕs not anything.
So, once again, it falls upon holy joe to give porn some zest. HereÕs
my suggestion: Mayfair should make Claire Cass a *reluctant* dominatrix.
They should pose her with an innocent young blonde. Claire should pretend
to punish the blonde, but, since sheÕs a new dominatrix, she does it very
tenderly and rather bashfully. Include in her pictorial things like: a riding
crop, a dildo, and an enema bag.
On page 43 Mayfair recommends the Playboy (?) video ÒGirls in
Uniform.Ó I havenÕt seen that one, but the nurse in the photo Mayfair
prints from the video is very hot!
At the back of this issue is a lengthy article on sex games. Pauline,
age 26, tells Mayfair: ÒMartin [my fiancee] made a list of 52 different
sexual activities, each of which is matched to a particular card. The two
of clubs is missionary, the three of diamonds is standing up facing each
other in the shower, all the jacks are to do with wanking, the four queens
are variations on him eating my pussy, the kings are variations on me
sucking his cock, and so on.
Ò...We usually leave the jokers in the pack -- they mean a ban on any
kind of genital contact, including wanking ourselves, for six hours.
ThereÕs nothing like having to wait for a fuck to make you appreciate it!
ÒAs I read through the list for the first time, I noticed it included
anal sex. IÕd always [refused to let] Martin fuck me up the bum, even
though the thought of it really turned me on! ...
ÒThat card -- the Ace of Spades... was hanging over my arse every
time we played! We both knew it had to come up sooner or later. It finally
did one night...
ÒI didnÕt say a word. I just knelt down, then reached back and pulled
my bumcheeks apart. Then I smiled back at him over my shoulder and told
him I wasnÕt leaving the bed until my arse had been well and truly fucked.Ó
(Page 90.)
Wow! As you can see, I feel very, very lucky to have bought the last
copy of Mayfair, even if it was all dented. How I wish Mayfair would print
more about that particular card game. I mean, how is it played? Why not
have Claire Cass and another girl act out all the positions on all 52 cards?
Mayfair could print, say, 12 card positions per issue. Where a cock is
needed, Claire or the other girl could strap on a dildo. I think many, many
people would greatly appreciate if Pauline and MartinÕs card game was
made available, in all its intimate detail, to the public.
Also in the Òsexy gamesÓ article in this monthÕs Mayfair is a
description of nude Twister. I think that would make a great pictorial too,
using several people.
(Incidentally, reading about Ôsexy gamesÕ in Mayfair caused me to
invent my own Ôsexy game.Õ IÕll print the full directions to it in a future
issue of FUCK DECENCY!)
(Just in case Senator Exon wants to play...)
Club, June 1998, $5.99. Paragon Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 380, Sandy Hook,
CT 06482. No web site listed.
Review: When I saw the Ònext issueÓ ad in the back of the previous
issue of Club, I knew there was going to be something hot in this issue.
The ad had a photo in it of two girls, licking each other. But the thing
about it was that the clothes they were wearing seemed quite nice... like
clothes you might see on real pretty girls in real life.
Wow! ÒWhat Josie Did on Vacation,Ó page 55, is a stunning,
ÔbreakthroughÕ pictorial. It even verges on fashion photography. But it
doesnÕt forget to get Ôdown and dirtyÕ as the pictorial unfolds.
On page 55, we see Josie fully clothed, riding on an escalator. SheÕs
out shopping at the mall. How nice and natural she looks! Then, on page
56, in two lavish photos, we see her running across a real street, carrying
her shopping bag. We also see her talking on an outdoor pay phone. On page
57 things start to get steamy. We see a girl, playing the part of the man
in this romantic pictorial, sitting at home. SheÕs clothed, but her skirt is
up, her underwear is showing, and sheÕs got her hand shoved down in her
crotch. SheÕs talking to Josie on the phone. Her name is Zoe.
The final photo on page 57 shows Zoe showing up at JosieÕs
apartment. How sweet and feminine Josie looks as she peeks round the
door of her apartment, greeting Zoe as Zoe lets herself in!
After this gorgeous introduction, the two girls Ôget down to
business.Õ But the pictorial still moves with a languid, easy slowness,
depicting them in their clothes for another two pages. Finally, after
kissing and caressing each other, Josie lifts ZoeÕs skirt, showing off ZoeÕs
white panties in what must be one of the hottest panty photos to cum out
this year! (I actually had to pull my own pants off to finish writing that
last sentence, it got me so hot!)
ÒFeel me, IÕm two weeks pregnant,Ó Zoe tells her friend Josie on the
following page. Josie palms ZoeÕs tummy, her face showing alarm. ÒOh,
my wicked boyfriend! Can you believe he got me pregnant?Ó Zoe asks
Josie.
ÒPoor girl, to get knocked up like that,Ó Josie says. ÒBut your tummy
still feels nice and flat. LetÕs enjoy ourselves together. Who needs big
bad men in their lives, when they make you pregnant?Ó
ÒRight!Ó Zoe agrees. SheÕs so pleased by her friendÕs answer that she
lets Josie yank her panties down. Then, with her panties hanging
uselessly at mid-thigh, Zoe bends over and licks JosieÕs pussy.
Lying naked on the bed, both girls earnestly try to do away with
their need for men by fucking each other with their ample breasts. Alas,
it doesnÕt work, and they finally must console each other with gentle
kisses, standing up next to the bed.
ÒItÕs too bad men have to get us pregnant,Ó Josie whispers to Zoe in
the final shot, as Zoe uses her tongue where only a manÕs penis can do a
proper job.
ÒYes,Ó Zoe agrees. ÒWhy donÕt you let my boyfriend get you pregnant
too? Then, with a little luck, we can deliver our babies together!Ó
God, what a great pictorial! It marks a first for Club and, indeed, for
any porno magazine. Never before has there been such a fashionable girl-
girl pictorial in the history of porn! At last girls thinking about posing in
a magazine like Club can fulfill their dream of being a real fashion model,
while still being a sex nymph too! (IÕd say Ôsex goddess,Õ but Josie and Zoe
are just too slim and adorable to be goddesses!) (And thank God for that!)
ÒOur First Time,Ó is a very hot pictorial. It features a girl and a guy.
The girl writes: ÒItÕs our first time together, and IÕm nervous... but so
horny. WeÕve been going steady a couple of months, and now IÕm ready to
go all the way with him. I told my roomie I wonÕt be home tonight, and
heÕs found us a room at a motel out of town. I know itÕs gonna be a night
IÕll always remember...Ó (Page 99.)
AT LAST a porno magazine prints a clean, decent pictorial of two
people having sex. I got so tired of seeing crass men and women, who
looked like fucking meant nothing to them, getting it on. Here, in this
photo shoot, we see a young-looking girl gasp with surprise as she opens
wide to receive her first penis. (In her mouth!) She tries sucking him but
that apparently doesnÕt work, because in the next photo sheÕs licking his
cock instead of trying to Ôdeep throatÕ it.
Then, on the next page, the man makes the girl gasp even louder as he
suckles her virgin tits. Finally, she tries again to suck his cock, and does
fairly well, getting his head at least into her mouth. In the final pose she
opens her pussy to him, from behind, and he goes down on her.
My only regret about this pictorial, ÒOur First Time,Ó is that it
wasnÕt long enough.
Another great pictorial in this issue is ÒTammy, First Time Nude.Ó
(Page 5.) Tammy is a new co-ed at college. Her girlfriends invite her to
play a sexy card game. She loses a hand, and her punishment is to drink
HersheyÕs Chocolate Syrup, straight from the bottle. She must drink the
syrup with her panties pulled down.
Poor Tammy! Little does she know that her new girlfriends have
stacked the deck! In a few minutes sheÕs back in her sororityÕs kitchen
again, this time completely nude. She has to pour cooking oil onto her
bosoms and into her snatch.
ÒHelp!Ó Tammy thinks, as she loses another round of cards. Back to
the kitchen she goes, and is forced to squirt HersheyÕs Chocolate Syrup
onto her tits.
With her panties hanging from a cabinet, a long-lost memento of her
(former) modesty, Tammy is required to visit the kitchen again. This
time, sheÕs made to put flour all over herself. But thereÕs still more card-
playing ahead, and in no time Tammy finds herself tasked with squirting
big delicious dollops of Redi-Wip on her nipples.
At last, laughing, TammyÕs friends let her wash off. This good-
natured loser is sent to Òthe showersÓ which, for losers in sorority strip
poker, means the kitchen sink! Watch as Tammy sits in the sink and uses a
rubber sprayer to clean herself. Lust as she discovers the pleasure of
aiming her sprayer into her pussy!
ÒPoor Tammy, I hope you have better luck next time,Ó TammyÕs
friends tell her.
ÒItÕs okay,Ó Tammy answers, aiming the rubber sprayer at her dell.
ÒLosing makes my pussy feel great!Ó
IÕve got to hand it to Club. What an issue! While PlayboyÕs flagship
magazine is in decline, and Penthouse seems repetitive, and Hustler is
boring, Club is surging ahead! I looked at an old copy of this magazine
several days ago. What a dog it used to be! It had small photos and bad
printing. But now itÕs greatly improved and, for my money, ItÕs the best!
My only regret is that Club puts out three magazines every month, all
at different times of the month: Club, Club Confidential, and Club
International. With three magazines coming out at staggered intervals
every month, IÕm going to spend the rest of my life running to Tower
Books!
Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 370
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
PassionÕs Playpen
Chapter Two
Where her face rested, Kate found a thoughtful soul had covered the
wall with thick velvet. It ran from about KateÕs neck, right up to where
the ring was. It even stretched beyond, to the ceiling itself, and around
the entire room. Kate had not even noticed it until now. She had seen the
grey stone, and the deep, almost black purple above it, but it had seemed a
mere choice of design, serving no useful purpose. Now she was grateful
for the velvet and she pressed her nose into it as she felt the bed dip
behind her. Cindy mounted it, much surer footed in her bare feet than Kate
was, standing on the bed in her spiked heels. The girl reached up behind
Kate and took hold of the loose handcuff dangling from KateÕs left wrist.
She passed it through the big ring in the wall that Kate was holding on to.
With nimble fingers, and with Kate feeling the girlÕs bosoms in her back
even as she pressed her own to the wall, Kate watched as the redhead
locked her right wrist into the handcuffs.
Kate let go of the ring in the wall. She arched her hands backward,
stretching her fingers back like some Thai dancer, and she tugged hard at
the wall ring. There was no movement. The ring was bolted deep into the
wall and KateÕs handcuffs had now been passed through it. Kate felt her
bottomcheeks tremble and was aware of Cindy passing her riding crop over
her palm. Expectantly. Loving the feel of the slim leather as it passed
across her hand and knowing what it would feel like impressed at great
speed into KateÕs fanny.
Kate looked back over her shoulder. With her outthrust bottom a
ready target, she eyed the minx behind her with apprehension. SheÕd
already been struck on her breasts and tummy and thighs, in front, earlier
in the evening, and a low burn crisscrossed her in each place where
MariaÕs favorite crop had left its marks. Now this girl, no older than she,
and perhaps less learned than Maria, certainly she had not MariaÕs control
and talent, was about to deliver to Kate yet more burning cuts. Kate could
not help but feel the exquisiteness of her posture, even as she dreaded the
crop. Her breasts were heavy and hung forward as she hung forward, their
tips pressed against implacable wall. Her nipples were hard and she
wished they might somehow drill her an escape route through the stone.
But this was no cartoon. The girl behind her might be a child, or childish
in her ways, but she had eyes that gleamed like a catÕs as she prepared to
go mousing across Kate with her crop.
ÒSpread your legs, darling Kate, or I shall have to bolt them apart for
you, with a spreader bar, and that would mean youÕd get extra strokes for
my extra effort,Ó Maria warned Kate.
AND IN THE END...
LIFE IN AMERICA
ÒTheyÕre building more penitentiaries, and theyÕre coming up with
more outrageous laws to put people in those penitentiaries.Ó
- Rap artist Ice Cube. (Charlie Rose, April 14, 1998.)
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
-Back issues (and stories): type
http://www.dejanews.com/
into your browserÕs ÒLocationÓ window.
Search under: roller39@idt.net
-Copyright 1998 by Andrew Roller.
-END OF 370 EMISSION
help! iÕm in Hell! - katie