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                                        Andrew Roller Presents
 
                                              JUPITER RISING

                                               Chapter Eight

         It would be nice to know who my mother was.  With Mary I created a 
mother, but that is not the same as having a mother.  Joseph was a good 
father but of course I created him too.  My people I adopted.  But what 
people did I come from?
         Where did I come from?  I do not know.  Moses asked me what I am 
and all I could say is ÒI am.Ó  I could not say who or what I am.  All I know 
that pleases me I had to create myself.  Or I had to acquire it, from the old 
gods.
         What is it like to travel in flesh and feel cold, and warmth, and to 
measure oneÕs progress by the steps of oneÕs feet?  I do not know.  I 
cannot know, I suppose.  For me it is like sleep and wakefulness at the 
same time.  I am everywhere and yet in many respects I am nowhere.
         I would be nowhere at all if the old gods returned.  
         The universe isnÕt big enough for us both.
         I am many gods but I am not the old gods.  I am the new gods, Buddha 
and Mohammed and Yahweh and the Lord and Jesus.  We are the modern 
gods.
         And the sky was perfect.  It was just so on the day I arrived, and I 
set down my place in the heavens and made this my home.  ÒI am!Ó I said, 
in my youth and vigor, and the old gods fled and I have not seen them since.  
They are faded, they are lost.  They will never return.  Only their spirits 
remain, and one by one they too are being snuffed out, until there will be 
only me.
         My universe.

         I must have been sleeping.  I sense something new in the world but it 
is not of me.  What is it?
         Where is it?
         Why cannot I see it?
         Where has it come from and where is it going?
         My angels do not help me.  They have not seen it.  Have you seen it?  
Does it beckon you as I beckon you?  Does it live in your veins as I do, does 
it throb with your heart?  
         It throbs.  I can feel it breathing tenderly and living in flesh, being 
in this my world but not of me.
         WHERE ARE YOU?
         Come to me, I command you.  Why do you not obey me?  Who has sent 
you?  You are not of Lucifer, he lives by my command.  COME TO ME!
         
         Angels, what use are they if they cannot allow me even a momentÕs 
rest?  Must I be forever observant and omnipotent?  Can I not cease 
watching and judging even for a moment?  How long was I dozing?  I did 
not even know that I dozed.  I do not sleep.  I AM, always and forever.  I am 
Alpha and Omega and none other is.
         No other must ever be!  Only I am, I am, I am, but something is not of 
me, in my universe.
         COME TO ME, I ORDER YOU!
         Still it does not come.  It is not of my power.  I pant with 
breathlessness at my calling of it, but it does not come.  It exists, that I 
know, but I know nothing else.
         FIND IT, I COMMAND YOU!

30

----------------------- Dreamgirls! -----------------------
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