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Andrew Roller Presents
NAUGHTY NAKED DREAMGIRLS
in
BIKINI BRIGADE
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Chapter Seventeen
ÒHalt the column!Ó Matilda said to Polly. The old woman called out
to the peanuts and they stopped. On either side of them stood small,
colorful houses. Their rooves, made out of tiles shaped like lollipops,
glowed brightly in the setting sun. Beyond, to the west, out over a sea
glistening like cream, the glow of the aurora borealis could be seen, its
colors mingling with the sunset.
A sign stood by the road, which ran between the homes. The sign
read, ÒLollipop Lane.Ó But that wasnÕt why Matilda had asked that the
column of tumbrils be stopped. SheÕd had it stopped because there were
two peanuts standing by the roadside. They both had their thumbs out, as
if hitchhiking. They both wore short pants. One of them wore glasses.
Otherwise, the small, one-street town was shuttered up, as if everyone in
it had left on a journey, and not returned.
ÒWhoÕre those peanuts?Ó Matilda asked Polly. They obviously were
not with their column, as they were standing, looking rather well rested,
by the roadside. They stood idly, with their thumbs extended, hoping for a
ride.
ÒGood evening, peanuts! Why your absence from Peanut Province?
Are you on business of the Sultan?Ó Peanut Brittle Polly called out to
them.
ÒYes, maÕam,Ó one of the peanuts, the one with glasses, answered.
ÒIÕm Percy, and this is Paul.Ó
ÒIÕm Paul,Ó the other peanut agreed, pointing to himself.
ÒWeÕve just come from the Citadel, to have a tailor make very
important robes for us, so we can attend upon the Sultan,Ó Percy said.
ÒOh, is he free again?Ó Polly asked, smiling.
ÒUh, no maÕam,Ó Percy replied, a bit nervously. ÒBut as servants at
the Citadel itÕs not for us to decide whom to serve, but rather to serve.Ó
ÒFaithfully and true,Ó Paul added.
ÒI see,Ó Polly said.
ÒPeanut Power!Ó one of the peanuts pulling a tumbril behind the one
Matilda was in shouted. But it was a lone voice. It ran down the street
and echoed among the homes and then only the surf could be heard again,
rolling into the shore.
ÒWell, best get in, boys, unless you want to walk home,Ó Polly said.
ÒFor ourselves, weÕre on a mission to find two girls. Perhaps weÕll find
them before we reach the Citadel, but if not, weÕll go all the way there, at
least, before turning back. I suppose I must pay my respects to the Sultan,
whoever he is. ItÕs not for me to play kingmaker.Ó
Percy and Paul stepped up into the lead tumbril.
ÒWe need robes, maÕam,Ó Percy said to Polly.
ÒBlack robes.Ó
ÒOh dear,Ó Polly said.
ÒCall the wardrobe department,Ó Matilda snapped at the two peanuts
who, in her mind, were nothing but midgets; extras holding up her
important search for missing children. ÒWe must be moving,Ó she said to
Polly. ÒNo time to waste!Ó
ÒGovernment business,Ó Glenda Guilty agreed.
ÒYes!Ó Wilma said.
ÒOh, dear,Ó Polly said. She put a hand to her face. ÒIÕm afraid your
peanut attire will have to do for now, boys,Ó Polly said to Percy and Paul.
Then she turned to the column, but Matilda was already calling out to the
peanuts who served as their horses.
ÒMove along!Ó Matilda yelled. ÒMove along, midgets!Ó
Reluctantly the peanuts began walking again. Then they broke into a
trot. The other tumbrils began moving behind them. The column of
vehicles rolled through Lollipop Lane and out along the beach by the Sea of
Cream. Beyond, an ice cream bar could be seen. It was docked along the
shore. Lollipops grew around it. The road ran down to the dock, where the
ice cream bar, floating placidly, could be untied from a post and pushed
out across an inlet to the sea. Across the waves the road could be seen
once more, where it ran again into groves of wild lollipops. Matilda
thought she could make out the tops of ice cream cones far away in the
distance, as if there were a huge building there, with ice cream cones for
rooves. But the sun was setting fast, and as she watched the glimmering
ice cream rooves disappeared into the blackness of the night sky.
ÒWeÕll have to cross part of the Sea of Cream,Ó Polly said to Matilda.
The woman nodded.
ÒWhatever,Ó Matilda said.
ÒSure is a big movie set,Ó Al said. ÒThey must have filmed a Shirley
Temple film here, and the Titanic too.Ó He gazed out across the cream-
colored sea at ice bergs that lay far out along the horizon. Night fell, and
they could then only be seen intermittantly, as the aurora borealis glowed
overhead. Its brightest moments made them appear like colored spectres
against the sky.
The line of tumbrils rolled down to the shore. Polly ordered the
peanuts to pull their lead tumbril out onto the ice cream bar.
ÒLoose the ropes! Cast away!Ó Polly yelled to the peanuts. They
obeyed, and their ice cream barge was put out to sea. The lead tumbril
floated atop it. The other tumbrils waited patiently by the shoreline.
They made camp in the sand. They built fires to warm themselves in the
cool night wind coming in off the sea.
ÒShould we make camp on the other shore?Ó Polly asked Matilda.
ÒNo,Ó Matilda said. ÒLetÕs press on through the night. Two girls are
in danger!Ó
ÒVery well,Ó Polly nodded. She turned to Percy and Paul. ÒHave the
ice cream bar go back for the rest. They can cross one by one. WeÕll go on.
They can catch us as best theyÕre able,Ó Polly said.
ÒYes, maÕam,Ó Percy and Paul replied, in unison.
ÒAnd you two stay with me,Ó Polly said. ÒI think youÕll make very
fine attendants. YouÕre both fine young men. Pity itÕs the Licorice Lad
whoÕs asked you to serve him, though.Ó
ÒWe donÕt choose the Sultan, maÕam,Ó Paul said.
ÒYes, boys, I know,Ó Polly said. She shook her head. ÒI know. And
neither do I.Ó
ÒYes, my pretty. You look very nice, with your little bikini dyed
black for me,Ó Licorice Lad said to Katie.
ÒOh, thank you, Licorice Lad!Ó Katie gushed. She was dressed in her
bikini, but it had been newly washed, by peanuts downstairs in the
CitadelÕs laundry room, and now it was colored black.
ÒDid you have a nice sleep, downstairs in your new bedroom, in the
dungeon?Ó Licorice Lad grinned to Katie. It was an evil grin.
ÒOh, yes master!Ó Katie said. ÒA most wonderful nap, and a bubble
bath, and the little peanuts made me up to look very pretty!Ó
ÒYes, the Citadel has a fine staff of beauticians,Ó Licorice Lad
agreed. He gazed at Katie. She had darkened eyes, and pouty, lavendar-
colored lips. ÒLet us go to the royal dining room. We shall have a feast,
entirely of candy, and then we shall sit on my throne awhile, hmmm?Ó
Katie clapped her hands together and glowed at Licorice Lad with
loving eyes. ÒOh, yes, Licorice Lad!Ó she agreed. ÒAnd can we eat licorice,
black licorice, sitting on your throne?Ó
ÒYes,Ó Licorice Lad said. ÒAnd our feast shall be all of licorice too.
Licorice strands, and twists, and little round gumdrop licorices.Ó
ÒOh, goodie!Ó Katie said. Licorice Lad stepped down from his throne,
steadying the big turban on his head as he stepped down. He took KatieÕs
hand. ÒAnd then, my sweet, weÕll go downstairs to the dungeon, and play
all night together in your new bed!Ó Licorice Lad said.
ÒOh, yes,Ó Katie agreed. Impulsively, if just a bit nervously, she
gave Licorice Lad a big wet kiss on his cheek.
We rode through the night sky, two witches on a broomstick. Except
the broomstick was a lollipop and the sky, behind us, glowed with the
colors of the aurora borealis. Below us groves of lollipops gave way to a
stretch of ocean. In the distance, the Citadel of Sweets could be seen. It
stood alone out on a promonotory, surrounded almost completely by the
creamy sea. On the eastern side of it lay the dark pit of Molasses Moor.
But we approached from the west, not following the pop rock road now,
but flying across the sea.
ÒThere it is!Ó I called out to Pauline. I pointed to the ice cream
rooves of the huge, towering structure.
ÒYes!Ó Pauline, clasping my back, agreed. ÒMy Daddie lives there,Ó
she said.
We flew in towards the castle. I gazed up at the stars. It was a
beautiful night. The moon was just rising in the east. It was crescent
shaped, like a boat rising up out of the faraway Veil of Mists, to take
Katie and I back home.
I heard a sputtering sound. The lollipop under my legs shuddered,
briefly. Then there was a kind of cough from the lollipop and we suddenly
dipped lower in the sky.
ÒWeÕre losing altitude!Ó I cried.
ÒWahtÕs happening?Ó Pauline asked.
ÒI think weÕre running out of gas!Ó I hollared. We flew lower still.
We skimmed along the waves. Then, just short of the shoreline, we
connected with the water.
ÒACKCK!Ó I heard Pauline cry. I felt cream splash up into my face
and for a moment I feared drowning again.. But it wasnÕt a plunge into the
sea, this time. Rather it was a smooth glide that ended in an awkward
crash.
I found myself bobbing in the waves a moment later, Pauline
paddling beside me. My lollipop was somewhere under the waves. It was
sinking to the bottom, but perhaps I didnÕt need it anymore. The shore was
nearby, a thicket of weeds at the back of the castle.
ÒYour sister said the lollipopÕs powers would only last awhile,Ó I
gasped to Pauline. ÒI guess itÕs run out of whatever was powering it.Ó
IÕd already told her about her sister, and what had happened to her.
Pauline had sobbed a little, hearing it, but cheered up when I told her that
helping her Daddie would almost certainly help her sister as well.
ÒItÕs okay. WeÕre here now,Ó Pauline said. ÒI know a back way into
the castle, and weÕre pretty close to it right now!Ó
ÒGood,Ó I said.
We swam ashore. The sea was rough, against the back side of the
castle, but we managed to wash up amongst the rocks safely. We got out
and made our way up a slope tangled with ground elders, couch grass, and
creeping buttercups. A Bosnian pine swayed overhead. We startled a Royal
Albatross in its nest and it flew off.
ÒThe horses must rest for the night, troll!Ó the driver called out.
Tommy stuck his head out the window of the carriage. He fired his gun up
over the driverÕs head. He was drunk from drinking the champagne but, all
the same, he took another swig from the champagne bottle he was holding.
ÒNo resting!Ó Tommy cried. The carriage lurched forward, spurred by
his gun blast. ÒForward to the Citadel! IÕve got the SultanÕs carriage and
IÕll sit on his throne before the night is through!Ó
ÒDamnable troll!Ó the driver swore, but he said it softly, and spurred
the horses with a crack of his whip. The coach rolled under the night sky,
through groves of lollipops.
30
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