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         Greetings!  My name is Stanley Kubric.  After making many big-
budget motion pictures, I graduated to making the finest movies of all... 
porno movies!  I hope you caught my first porno film, ÒEyes Wide Shut.Ó  
Unfortunately I had so much fun editing it that it gave me a heart attack, 
so now IÕm dead.
         ThatÕs why youÕre able to read this, my last Will and Testament.  I 
Stanley Kubric do hereby bequeath to one holy joe all rights to the sequels 
to ÒEyes Wide ShutÓ.  The first sequel will be titled ÒNight VisitorÓ.  (But 
I have many more sequels planned.)
         Would you like to film the sequel to ÒEyes Wide ShutÓ?  ItÕs easy!  
Simply send one million dollars to holy joe.  Then you can film ÒNight 
VisitorÓ.  If you would like to film more sequels, send more money!


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Copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.