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The Joys of Summer
Over the last three decades, the yuppie generation has done
interesting things with our language. Blacks are now "African-
Americans", Mexicans are now "Hispanics", and Indians are now "Native
Americans", while white males like myself are "perverts", "pedophiles",
"deadbeat dads", "sexual harassers", (statutory) "child rapists" and
perpetrators of that great crime of "lookism". I guess that's what happens
when a generation spends its youth experimenting with LSD. But I don't
mind. For my part, unlike various other white males who are either hiding
under rocks or collaborating with their yuppie victimizers, I intend to
fully live up to the expectations that have been imposed on me. Yes, I am
that "stranger" who is "lurking," and abusing your daughter by looking at
her! And when I'm not doing that, don't think I'm sitting at home reading
Saving Ophelia. Being a male, and worst of all a white male, I'm currently
spending my time looking at a swimsuit magazine.
No, it's not the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. And it's not a
teen girl magazine either. (Did I just hear you breathe a sigh of relief?
Too soon....) It's All About You, the Summer 2001 issue!
Don't be fooled by the innocuous cover of the latest edition of All
About You. Yes, it features some dorky brunette, staring rather maniacally
out at the reader (or looker, in my case), and if you don't know anything
about the magazine you could peg this female as being anywhere from age
18 to 25.
I have no idea what age the cover girl actually is, but I know what's
inside! All About You is a magazine I've been buying for several years. It's
not one of those fucking teen girl magazines for non-virgin teens, even
though it does sometimes have articles about contraceptives. No, All
About You is for the littlest girls, excepting the age group that's still
stuck on Highlights for Children.
Yes, I'm talking about my favorite age group, girls 12 and under!
(Hey, I'm a white male, remember?) The summer 2001 All About You is
the swimsuit issue. The cover declares that the issue features
"swimsuits for every body," but all I found inside were glorious Barbie
lookalikes.
Let's take a tour of All About You, for the benefit of men who're too
scared to pick up the magazine. If you have trouble finding All About You
at your supermarket, you're not looking in the right place. This isn't a
ladies' magazine, up high where you can find it. It's down on the lowest
shelf, so that even the littlest girls can reach it.
We will begin our exploration of All About You on page 72. Whoa!
Here we find a stunning blonde, decked out in an American Flag print top
and jeans. Have you ever seen a cuter girl than this? Her long blonde
tresses hide part of her neck, but if you look closely you'll be shocked by
what you see there. Yes! It's a studded black dog collar. And you thought
the bondage-bound seventh-grade Dreamgirls were just figments of my
imagination.
But enough of clothed girls. Let's get to some (almost) nudity! Page
62 brings us a little blonde bombshell who isn't wearing a bikini top, but
that's because she hasn't grown tits yet. In another year or two she'll join
the girls on page 63, particularly the luscious girl in a polka-dot bikini.
Speaking of her, have you ever seen a more gorgeous young chick? Look at
that slender, perfect body. And she's about to do some horse back riding in
her little outfit. How I would love to be the beast of burden with her
slender young thighs spread over me!
Now let's proceed to page 67. Yee haw! It's the perfect Pedo Party...
three delicate young girls in bikinis getting spritzed by a sprinkler! But
the best is on the opposite page. Check out "island girl." Hubba! Hubba!
I've sat through years of Playboy that don't have photos as great as this!
Unfortunately the girl's eyes aren't as big as I'd like, but other than that,
she's perfect. If you're still ejaculating over this photo next Fall, I won't
blame you.
I bought three copies of All About You. I'm planning to cut up two of
the magazines and decorate my walls with the photos. Then I can glory all
day in being a white male: abusive, perpetrating, and all that other shit
that goes with the territory.
Yes, I'm not normal. I'm not a fag, or a transvestite, or a cross-
dresser, or a lesbian. I'm just "the worst of the worst," a white guy who
likes girls.
AND IN THE END...
"Some central London schoolchildren have begun to collect and swap
them, as a free alternative to Pokemon cards."
- The Economist, April 28, 2001, pg. 59.
(Cards advertising the services of the city's prostitutes.)
----------------------- Dreamgirls! -----------------------
-- More stories at: http://groups.google.com/ Search by typing:
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Change ÒstandardÓ archive to ÒcompleteÓ archive.
-- Other providers:
IFLC: http://assm.asstr.org and http://asstr.org
AnyaÕs LilÕ Hideaway: http://www.insatiable.net/
Silver: http://www.mr-yellow.com/goodies
The Backdrop Club: http://www.backdrop.com
Usenet Newsgroup: alt.sex.stories.moderated
-- Great art books by David Hamilton and Jock Sturges are at:
http://www.amazon.com http://bn.com (photos of naked little girls)
-- Naked little girls/politics: http://www.AlessandraSmile.com
Man/boy love: http://www.nambla.de Politics: http://www.lp.org
http://www.isil.org http://www.fear.org http://www.fija.org
http://www.aclu.org
-- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427)
is copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller. Dreamgirls, Naughty Naked
Dreamgirls, and NND are registered trademarks of Andrew Roller.
All rights reserved.
-- Visit me at: http://home.earthlink.net/~roller666/index.html
Or at /~Roller/index.html
(It is case sensitive, i.e. type Roller, not roller).