Andrew Roller Presents
C O M I C U P D A T E
FREE! Internet Edition May 16, 1995
F L A S H R E V I E W !
Of a Brand New Comic!
by Andrew Roller
ÒDear Andrew, IÕve been swamped with comics work, both Cassie projects
and stuff IÕve promised for other people. Then there was WonderCon and
after that I had the flu.
ÒSpeaking of WonderCon, I didnÕt see you there. I asked at the Comic
Book Legal Defence Fund table, and they certainly knew who you were.
Most of the time I was just digging through the old comics boxes, or
meeting other small pressers. I did leave a handful of CTWs (Cassiopeia
the Witch) at Alan GroeningÕs table, and I managed to make $5.
ÒYou asked why Cassiopeia the Witch #26 had no return address. It
all comes down to the fact that CTW #26 was the first issue to feature
CassiopeiaÕs Curious Items, a look at supernatural and unusual events in
history from CassieÕs point of view. Later reprints of earlier issues also
had this feature added to those books.
ÒThe thing is, the first one I did was whipped out so fast I didnÕt
give any thought to the fact that it left no room for the indicia and
disclaimer which are always printed on the inside front page. Since this
material is pretty important, I decided to paste it onto the bottom of the
Editorial Page, instead of the usual return address blurb.
ÒI didnÕt figure there would be any problem, since everyone I sent
the issue to would already have my address, via my letters. [But, as Jim
Corrigan lamented in a (hardcopy) Update, he did not have my address.]Ó
Visions of Cassiopeia #2, Free. Mini. Perry Lake, Miracle Comics, 6167-B,
Alamo Way, Paradise, CA 95969.
Review: An excellent little book featuring a kind of Òjam-sessionÓ
of art, all by different top notch small press artists. They devote
themselves to the subject of ÒCassiopeia the Witch,Ó a character created
by Perry Lake.
Steve Shipley, formerly known to me only as a fierce Christian (in
the right wing sense), turns in a near-pornographic cover. (Oh, whoops!
His SON turns in the cover, Steve himself does an excellent logo for the
book.)
ÒThe House of the Nameless Horror,Ó by Perry Lake, is an exploration
of the old Òtag, youÕre itÓ game. Having told my own version of this joke
many times (featuring a Window Washer), I found the story tepid. Nicely
illustrated, though.
ÒCassiopeia the Bitch,Ó a two-pager contributed by Denny Stephens,
was my favorite. Cassiopeia uses her super powers in ordinary situations
to intimidate male authority figures.
Listed on the back cover is the address of the Small Press Syndicate,
yet another organization which kicked me out, but who have built a
venerable stature for themselves all the same: Small Press Syndicate,
c/o Ed Paten, 4720 Walden Circle, #1424, Orlando, FL 32811. They are
billed as Òa group of amateur and semi-pro cartoonists, writers, and
artists who self-publish their own comics and have more fun doing so than
is decently possible.Ó
Other contributors in Assiopeia #2: Steve Shipley (interior art),
Alan Groening, Paul Quinn, Yul Tolbert, and Matt Davison.
HOT OFF THE PRESS!
by holy joe
NAMBLA Topics #1, Free to members. (Membership: $25.00/year)
Overseas, add $15.00. The North American Man/Boy Love Association, P.O.
Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018; Phone: (212) 807-8578,
Fax: (201) 491-0334.
Review: ÒAnatomy of a Media AttackÓ is the title of this monograph,
the first in a planned series. (Members also receive NAMBLA Bulletin and
GAYME.) Its authors write: ÒNAMBLA and man/boy love are rarely taken
seriously by the American media. NAMBLAÕs existence is used only for its
shock value. We seldom have a chance to respond.Ó Here NAMBLA does
respond, printing both the criticism and their responses to it. (A
surprisingly fair approach, given their stereotyping as ÒpredatorsÓ by the
mainstream media, who never give them any chance to speak. Or, more
recently, who let them speak in tiny sound-bites interrupted and slanted
by ominous music and biased film footage.)
An excellent issue. Membership in NAMBLA is totally legal but you
know how these things are...if you just sit in the ÒPeanut GalleryÓ and do
nothing maybe someday it wonÕt be.
Uncommon Desires Newsletter #20, 19. US: $20.00 for 6 issues. Canada:
$22.00. All Others: $25.00. (Price includes postage.) Digest. Uncommon
Desires Newsletter, c/o N.S. Aristoff, P.O. Box 2377, New York, NY 10185.
Review: Since our last review, the federal government has lost its
war against Uncommon Desires NewslettersÕ (UDNÕs) publisher. UDN has an
outstanding attorney contributing articles and #20 makes for shocking
reading. Just as the U.S. government is now compiling lists of militia
members, it is also compiling lists of people it thinks might be
pedophiles. Get this thing, man, and read (on page 2) the flimsy criteria
the government uses to compile its lists. Heck, my dog could probably
qualify for membership on this list. Of course, the government is known
to track people it thinks might be growing ÒinappropriateÓ weeds in their
back yards, or filling in Òwetlands,Ó etc. So once again we have an
intolerant state governed by ideological elites who think they know best,
and who are willing to investigate, imprison, and kill those who think
differently.
On page 11 we have a fine dissertation on how the Disney ChannelÕs
Mousercise program is now illegal under the newest Òchild pornographyÓ
laws. Right now there is a young man sitting in prison for the next five
years (Stephen Knox), for buying a swimsuit video. If heÕs in prison, so
says the writer, so should the producers of Mousercise be. A brilliant
piece of satire.
Oh, yeah. There are some cute pictures of girls in this zine. Heaven
forbid that I should mention that, though. Nothing but loud, hairy,
obnoxious WOMEN for me, by God!
The Joe Bob Report, May 15, 1995, Free. 8 1/2Ó x 11Ó. Joe Boob Briggs,
P.O. Box 2002, Dallas, TX 75221.
Review: That warrior against the P.C. thought police is at it again,
with more devastating articles exposing their stupid policies. First up,
Joe Bob takes to task people who try to tell you what to eat. Then thereÕs
an article about the horror of having a low sperm count, info on how to
join your local Andy Griffith Fan Club, plus much, much more. YouÕve
probably seen Joe Bob on The Movie Channel pitching the greatness of B-
Movies, and thatÕs the heart of this zine: a continual celebration of
shoestring movie makers, stars, and plotlines (such as they are). Must
reading for any serious movie fan and a good resource for those battling
the terrorists in The White House, on campus, and in City Hall.
Terra Libra, 2430 E. Roosevelt #998, Phoenix, AZ 85008; e-mail
terrahq@ix.netcom.com.
Review: It always bothers me when someone spends good money to
send me something and it arrives packaged like an ad asking for money.
Here we have a Òsort ofÓ zine. It has good-looking articles inside, but the
cover sheet begs for money. ($199.00). Now, in my opinion, you should at
least put something in a manÕs hands that has value in-and-of itself. If
you want to also include a letter, or stick an ad inside asking for money,
thatÕs okay. But donÕt START by asking the money. DonÕt ask for money on
the COVER of your zine! ItÕs like walking up to a girl and saying, ÒLetÕs
fuck. By the way, did you know I have a Ph.d in interpersonal
communications?Ó Now, this was a tactic that was popular in the 70Õs
(when I was too young to enjoy it), but itÕs been unpopular ever since. (You
know, the Òdance clubsÓ that had rooms right off the dance floor where
you could have immediate sex with people you just met. Bathrooms in
back, sex rooms all around the dance floor.)
So the moral here is, ÒGive me something I want first, then do your
ÒofferingÓ business in the back.Ó In this case IÕm not going to bother any
further with this Òzine,Ó except to say that if youÕre a Libertarian-type or
militia-type person (and who isnÕt these days?) it looks like there may be
some decent reading in this zine.
ADDRESS INFO: Now hey man, I donÕt intend to sit on my fat ass every day
reviewing stuff. (ThatÕs what Jim CorriganÕs for, and his address is at the
end of this transmission.) However, if you want to get the word out
IMMEDIATELY that your zine is available, send it to me. (Be sure to send a
copy to Jim too, to get reviewed.) Mainly I will just list what I get in the
mail, and then IÕll leave it at a bus stop or something so other people can
read it too. IÕm mostly interested in helping out people who DONÕT have a
computer and access to the internet, but I wonÕt discriminate against
those who do. So send your zines to: holy joe, c/o Andrew Roller, 5960 S.
Land Park Dr-253, Sacramento, CA 95822.
THE COMIC UPDATE ARCHIVES
by Andrew Roller
From: COMIC UPDATE #2, August 18, 1986
Guidelines for Researchers: I have dispensed with the Ògrading system.Ó
Where the current address of the artist is known, I have published it.
Airy Nothings #1, 50¢. Sideways mini. Hal Hargit.
Headline: QUIRKY QUOTES
Headline Note: DALLAS - A fifth printing of 50 copies of Hal HargitÕs
Airy Nothings was released on July 5th (1986).
Story Preview: William Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll, and Richard
Nixon team up with other sages in a minicomic of famous maxims.
Story Critique: Some of the quotes link together very nicely, James
Russell Lowell with Martin Luther King, Jr. and Richard Nixon. Editor Hal
HargitÕs contributions are typical novice efforts.
Special Features: Hargit tells of his discovery of small press
publishing. Matt Feazell, Matt Levin, many others mentioned in Editorial.
Reno, Private Eye for Hire #1, 50¢. Digest. Matt Borders.
Story Preview: ÒRoxyÓ hires ÒReno, Private Eye,Ó to find her
husband.
Story Critique: Traditional 1950Õs style private eye yarn. Reno
plods through the first eight pages looking for RoxyÕs husband. A typical
James Bond climax occupies the last four pages (villain and hero discuss
the crime as villain holds hero prisoner). A wry, humorous (albeit
predictable) ending saves the book.
1995 Commentary: Matt was quite active in the early small press
(circa 1986). He was also a sometime member of the Small Press League,
which I founded and which continues (in a rather crippled condition) to
this day. But Matt, having preceded me in the small press, was ultimately
always a member of the ÒOld Guard.Ó He may, to this day, still be hanging
around with the Òold guard,Ó remnants of which still exist. Or he may be
completely gone from small press.
Matter Comix #10, unpriced. Undersized-mini. Matt Borders.
Headline: INTO THE VOID
Story Preview: Psychotic Eddie waves a knife, shakes his fist,
displays a cross-section of his brain, and is depicted in an Andy Warhol
style drawing.
Story Critique: Perhaps a few classic moments for Psychotic Eddie
fans at best.
Story Complete? No. There is no story. (As the cover says, ÒSilly
comix done very quickly at no expense!Ó)
A flier from Jeff Wood is also written about in Comic Update #2, wherein
Jeff Wood lists several of his comics and gives descriptions of them: (the
comics are in all caps) PERIHELION: Geralderson is sent on a desperate
mission inside a dying starship. PLASMA: is Snowbuni really dead?
Also in Comic Update #2: ÒA fanzine is a magazine that publishes stories,
artwork, and commentaries by comic book fans, and is devoted to one or
more pre-existing comic book characters.Ó
Also in Comic Update #2: FANDOM TEAM UP II AVAILABLE: Comic fans
weary of reading DC ComicsÕ THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD can now get a
bunny and a broad instead as Snowbuni teams up with Nightshade in
FANDOM TEAM UP #2. Review copies were not provided to COMIC UPDATE,
however, in a newsletter publisher Jeff Wood states, ÒFANDOM TEAM UP
#1 (was) the hottest zine in fandom.Ó
1995 Commentary: ÒNightshade,Ó referred to above, was created and
drawn by Larry Blake. After many years of toiling away with this
character, Larry suddenly received a letter from Marvel ComicsÕ legal
department telling him that ÒNightshadeÓ was the name of a trademarked
character which THEY owned! Larry, humiliated and scared, changed the
name of ÒNightshadeÓ to ÒNightstar,Ó and continues with this character to
the present day.
Of course, MarvelÕs Stan Lee once joked that heÕd trademark the word
ÒtheÓ if he could get away with it. Marvel comics has a very aggressive
policy of Òmaking upÓ new character names and registering them with the
government as being ÒtheirÓ trademarked property. Then the character is
never used until MarvelÕs trademark on that character is close to expiring.
(In order to renew the trademark.) It is my hunch that Larry thought up
the name Nightshade long before Marvel, but he had no money and no legal
knowledge on how to trademark it. (Note: Larry used to tear up my zines
and send them back to me, so I am not writing this as a ÒfriendÓ of Larry.)
Snowbuni (unnumbered), 50¢. Mini. Jeff Wood.
Headline: BESIEGED BABYSITTER
Story Preview: Snowbuni babysits a little boy who soon becomes the
quarry of kidnappers.
Story Critique: Standard babysitting gags: bathroom full of water,
boy ties up Snowbuni. Then heavy violence alternates uneasily with humor
and dumb jokes in an extended fight scene. What might have been a good
Snowbuni story is instead little more than rehashed Dennis the Menace. I
recommend the original.
1995 Commentary: Jeff Wood, a darling and member of the old
guard, has long since gotten married and enlisted in the U.S. Air Force.
Today his whereabouts are unknown to me, and his activity in the small
press (as far as I can tell) has dropped to zero.
C O M I C U P D A T E S T O R I E S
The Fading Universe
Part Six
by Andrew Roller
Chapter Three
"This shopping mall is under the control of the Alameda army," the
Lieutenant announced. "You will surrender your weapons. You are now
prisoners of the city of Alameda. Co-operate and you will not be
harmed."
So they had come out underneath a shopping center. Probably
Westminster Mall. Marvin had been wondering what building would
require such a cavernous basement.
"Here's all our guns," Marvin said, casting his plasma Gatling into
the pile of arms. "But listen: we just climbed up from a tenement on
the floor beneath this mall, and it was crawling with insects."
The Lieutenant's face turned pale. He called two privates over to
carry away the guns. Then he hurried off to report to his commanding
officer.
"This way," a sergeant said to Marvin and the others. A group of
half a dozen soldiers, part of a basement patrol, escorted Marvin and
his friends to the lingerie department of a Famous Bar store on the
first floor of the mall, where they joined other captives.
C O M I C U P D A T E N E W S
HOWE LIVES IN FILTH
By holy joe
No, I am not Lydia Brooks. I have a penis, Lydia doesn't. Next issue I'll
xerox my dick if that rumor doesn't die quick. I don't mind being called
William Dockery (or even (gag!) Roller), but I'm not going to be called a
woman!
Anyway, I had just finished attending church, and decided to pay a
visit to my sometime friend Rick Howe. I figured he mightt be feeling
guilty, having betrayed all his friends in the SPL and all. Especially as
they took him in when he was in need of friendship, invited him to their
meetings at Flat Rock Park, introduced him to his ladyfriend Maxine,
etc. I was also concerned that Howe might be slipping into
homosexuality. He's never been married, you know, and the pastor of my
church had just delivered a moving sermon on the evvils of sodomie. So
when butt-fucking came up I thought of Howe, and howe it's said he's
going to join the United Faggots Organization!
Now an interesting story comes to mind, for those of you who
think "no way can Howe be gay. Hansen, maybe, but not Howe." ANyway,
me and Howe were at Flat Rock Park. Now we had to get to the SPL
meeting, held, y0ou know, on a regular basis at Flat Rock park. Anyway,
there were two ways to get to where the meeting was at. One way was
to walk through the woods. The other way was to walk past some
wimmen. I, of course, being a red-blooded American male (and not a
child moslester like Roller), suggested to Howe that me and him walk
past the womens. There were quite a lot of them, and they were
wearing bathing suits. Howe, however, insisted that we must not walk
past the women! (spelled it right that time). "Those women are
wearing bathing suits!" Howe exclaimed. He described their appearance
as "appalling." He made us walk through the woods instead of past the
women.
Now I've been thinking: Howe got all bent out of shape because I
described the U.F.O. as the United Faggots Orgazination in Fugitive
Factsheet #1, right? Well, no normal male would get all upset over a
little thing like that. I mean, U.F.O. --how was I to know it stood for
United Farting Organization? So, anyway, Howe is real sensitive on
this gay thing. Obviously he must be a latent homosexual. I only
mention this in passing. He might get AIDS or something and then if
Lynn Hansen has sex with him Hansen might get AIDS. Then Hal Hargit
might have sex with Lynn Hansen and, well, none of us will ever get our
F/X subscription money back then! You have to think these things
through. I'm only writing to protect the public. IN THE PUBLIK
INTEREST! That's me. holy joe.
So I get to Howe's house. This is a duplex. He lives on one side,
and noted dignitary P.D. Wilson lives on the other side, with his
sometime wife and small presser Carol Horny. ANyway, Howe's door is
standing wide open. Well, not wide open. We must be totally accurate
here. Halfway open. I stand at the doorway looking inside. There is all
P.D. Wilson's computer gear, strewn around Howe's living room just
waiting for someone to steal it. And there is Rick Howe, lying smashed
out of his mind on a tattered old couch (also in the living room).
Several beer bottles are lying around. A canoe is in the middle of the
room. Paper and trash are strewn everywhere. (Well, who knows, the
trash might actually have been artwork by William Dockery. Accuracy,
accuracy.) Anyway, Dockery's "art" aside, I ask you: Reader, is this
"living in filth," or not?
Howe, of course, had no idea what was going on, or even that I
was standing right in front of him (in his doorway)! You couldn't have
gotten that boy's attention if you'd beaten him. So I decided to go next
door and visit P.D. Wilson. (This was before his wife threw him out and
he moved into a tomato crate.)
"What are you doing in my house?" Wilson roared when he saw me.
"Leave!" (Some welcome.) With the words of my pastor and Jesus
("love thy neighbor") ringing in my mind, I took my leave of P.D. (praying
for deliverance) Wilson. I want to point out an odd fact, however. In
the Wilson residence, along one wall, it looked as if a fireplace had
been torn out. But a hole remained, in the wall. And in the hole in the
wall Wilson was burning something. Drugs? Wood? "Art" by Dockery?
(Or, better yet, "art" by P.D. Wilson?)
Anyway, this is the end of my column. I wish I could write more,
but I have nothing more to say. Hopefully I'll come across some
exciting new information next issue, IN THE PUBBLIC INTEREST!
W H O O P S ! : In our May 14th issue Holy Joe attempted to take credit
for an article written by Jim Corrigan (UDN). When asked about it, Joe
quoted our president: ÒI have succeeded.Ó
ROLLER PUBLICATIONS Free for a greeting-card SASE (or $1.00) from:
Jim Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868. COMIC UPDATE
(Library of Congress ISSN: 0894-5195): small press comix. NAUGHTY
NAKED DREAMGIRLS (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427): sex stories.
(Include an age statement-18 or over.) DREAMGIRLS WITH SHAMAN:
poetry. END OF TRANSMISSION
Subj: Comic Update, May 16, 1995 (Perry Lake, Snowbuni)