>She's out the door less than 2 seconds after she says that.
>Oh manholyshitglassesthankyou
>Those words were like angels singing
>Things not fucked up with glasses, things not fucked up with
Birthday, fuck homely, the only person left to smooth things out
with is blondie.
>3/4 Girls somehow weren't angry at me over what i had done over
the last 30 minutes.
>All i had to do was smooth it out with Blondie and we would all
be on better-than-good terms.
>Better than good because i've treated them all specially
individually or in thier own mind compared to the others.

>I'm praising the miracles sent down from the benevolent
sleepover god, i've somehow been able to navigate this raging
river with minefield rapids of a situation with ease.
>Somewhere up above the sleepover god smiles.
>[spoiler] For he sees the waterfall up ahead[/spoiler]

>I had half a mind to just walk right into the living room, sweep
blondie off her feet and carry her away like a damsel.
>In my mind that sounded like a great idea
>But in my mind that also sounded like the worst fucking idea
possible
>Issues and problems that could arise start flooding my brain.
>The other girls would see
>she might not want to come

>I really didn't know how angry Blondie was either, she could
just be unwilling to come completely.
>if she resists its just a huge mess
>Plus what if i can't pick her up properly
>or i drop her or something
>Oh no i've unleashed the stream of doubts, here they come
>What if i slip and fall
>What if someone else stops me
>What if she's actually heavier than she looks and im not strong
enough.
>What if it takes too long and i look awkward trying to do it.
>What if i pussy out last second
>What if she just doesn't like me at all anymore

>I'm now standing motionless in the hallway slowly being crushed
by self-pity and doubt
>I'm just shrinking smaller and smaller with every what-if.
>I just stop, all my best-laid alpha plans crushed before they
even begin.
>I end up half-trudging and half-scuffling my feet into the
living room.

>I'm pretty self-depreciated

>I've somehow made myself doubt everything without even any
reasons behind it.
>Fuck you brain
>I just kinda sadly shuffle in
>Birthday sees and gets a frown for about half of a second
>At first i think she must think i'm in a shit mood because of
what we did or something, which would make no sense
>But i figure it could be on her mind
>Her eyes aren't sad though, so she must be thinking something
else
>Maybe that i'm just pretending to be sad so nobody catches on to
what we did
>Yeah i guess we can pretend that's what i'm doing.

>So me and my brilliant plan to walk in and seem in a bad mood to
throw all the girls off the trail is going great.
>Well except Glasses has no clue why i'm acting sad
>But she's got the same kind of look as Birthday
>Maybe she thinks i'm sad about raven, or something.
>It's odd that seems to be such a good excuse for so many things,
even though i'm not thinking it myself.
>I can't pretend to know what's going on in glasses' head really.
>but i seem to be alright in her eyes
>So i end up plopping right down next to her.

>The video game of choice seems to be symphonia again
>4 player,  everyone has a controller but me.
>I'm alright with this, i was jrpg-ed out for the day.

>Blondie is waaay on the other side of the couch and leaning all
over the armrest, with Birthday and Glasses between me and her.
>Everyone is still shirtless, except homely who's chillin in the
armchair to the side.
>She's got her t-shirt back on
>It's not like its hiding too much though, her chest still moves
anytime she does anything.
>When she catches me looking at her she pokes her tongue out a
little bit and makes a teasey kind of "Nya nyaa nya nyaa nyaaa"
face.
>I haven't seen anyone make that kind of face since i had to
rescue all the dragon eggs, but i mean that's what it was.
>[spoiler] if i start chasing her, charging around headfirst,
someone stop me[/spoiler]

>I figure there's no way i'm getting close to Blondie's feet
again so that path is closed off.
>Maybe if i could figure out how to send smoke signals to
birthday i could get her to swap places with me, but i'm on
thin-ice making sure she thinks she's special so i better not.
>The armchair of the couch is out of the question since Blondie
is all over it somehow
>I don't even understand how it was comfy but she was relaxing on
it sideways and chest first like some kind of big cat.
>Hands held out in-front of her away from the couch entirely as
she concentrated on the screen.
>I can't even do justice to how awkward it looked, but she seemed
to be having a good time so who was i to judge.
>I sadly don't have any avenue of getting to and assessing her
current mood towards me though, so i just have to sit silently
where i am and watch the game.

>My thoughts don't linger on Blondie for very long, i can't
really do anything about her at the moment and i don't even know
if she's angry at me or not.
>I am however sitting next to the prime culprit of most of my
video-game related suffering of the last two days.
>Glasses
>Time for some fucking payback
>I drop my "It'll all fuck up if i try" mood and just put my left
arm halfway around her waist.
>EVERYTHING GOES WRONG
>But it doesn't, she doesn't say a word, my arm is properly
hidden from view by everyone and my palm is just lightly resting
on her bare skin.
>The only way anyone would notice where my hand is would be if
birthday turns completely around
>From my seat i have complete reign over the entire right half of
glasses body.
>As long as i don't do anything too obvious of course.

>What does any male do when he's got free reign of a woman's
body?
>There's only one answer
>Tickling
>But not just any tickling
>I pull my hand back and take a single finger and place it softly
along her spine.
>Without lifting it, i just slowly traced it in small circles
>I did this while gently moving it across the entire expanse of
skin presented to me.
>I wasn't trying to tickle her yet, i had to find out where she
was ticklish
>I intentionally scooted closer to her and watched her facial
expressions, listened to her breathing.
>I was moving my finger just slowly enough that when i reached
something ticklish i could notice all the changes in her body
language.

>Her look of concentration at playing vidya would soften into a
tiny tiny smile
>She would take a short breath, one that didn't match the rhythm
of her normal breathing pattern.
>Depending on where i was touching on her lower back, she might
tense up, or relax
>Human bodies are like instruments
>I could sit there for years eliciting little sighs, gasps,
muscle contractions and other reactions from a girl.
>The sounds they make are like music
>The movements are like the vibrations of a string instrument.
>It's beyond entertaining.
>I roamed those expanses of flesh for what could only have been
hours, but was maybe just a couple minutes.
>I think i was doing an awful job of tickling her and just got
distracted.
>I think i might be really bad at this tormenting thing.

>Whatever i was doing, after a couple of minutes of it i had most
of her ticklish areas worked out
>She was extremely ticklish along her lower spine, right where
the skin almost vanished into the un-attainable reaches of her
pants.
>She wasn't very ticklish anywhere else besides her sides (Which
are ticklish on like everyone anyway.
>I had even roamed my hands along her upper back to where her bra
strap was
>...Yes the idea to unhook it had crossed my mind multiple times
>But we knew better.
>I still hadn't actually "Tickled" her yet

>But that was the point wasn't it
>For the most part of her body language,

>She wasn't shying away from my touches
>She wasn't having trouble surviving on the game
>She wasn't giving me any looks of any sort.
>I would say she was enjoying it so far.
>But i had plans to fix that.

>Now let me tell you anons about tickling
>Tickling is a science, an absolute masterful talent to have
>It takes two things
>#1 Your hands
>#2 Someone else
>Face it, we all know how to tickle people
>Throw hands at other person, laughing ensues
>But i didn't want her laughing
>I wanted her ALMOST laughing
>That painful feeling where you're trying to suppress giggles and
every single one threatens to come out.
>Not many people know how to play this tickling game

>I knew Glasses was enjoying my hands
>I knew she didn't want them to stop
>and i knew she didn't want the girls to know i was playing with
her on the couch.
>I knew far too much for her own good.
>I placed my hand right back on her spine.
>One finger touching
>[spoiler]Now there's a secret to tickling, and that's really
something you learn from experience.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]The more points of contact you have, the more likely
they'll laugh.[/spoiler]
>Even if you're a bumbling fool, five fingers will get any human
giggling (as long as they're ticklish)
>But thats the brute method, i was going to start easy on her
>I was starting with two.

>I placed my ring finger slightly higher up on her back
>And i traced a circle
>[spoiler]That's the other secret[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Flitting contact will make them laugh easy, but soft
solid contact almost never will[/spoiler]
>Then i lightly lifted them both off her skin
>Placed them lower
>and did it again.
>Every time i did this my fingers would end up upside down
>So to move them, i would my fingernails softly across her back
>This was the part that was getting her
>The hard surfaces of my fingernails were making her inhale
off-rhythm each time
>and that muscle tensing/relaxing i was talking about earlier?
>She stopped that "relaxing" bit.

>As i repeated this lower.... and lower.
>Her face took on a grin, the side facing me even showing the
tiniest bit of teeth
>It didn't take me long at all to reach the waistband of her
pants.
>A disgusting artificial barrier to my fun
>Such is life
>With an internal sigh i simply took my two fingers and formed a
bit of a claw
>Reached as far around her waist as i felt was safe from prying
eyes
>Placed them back, one after another right where her skin met
clothing again
>And scratched her, slowly, smoothly, the entire way back to me
again
>Not too hard, not too soft, enough to leave the faintest of red
markings where my fingernails had passed.
>Her reaction to this was instantaneous

>She straightened up, her posture went from slouching to straight
up and down.
>This had the side effect of thrusting her chest outwards quite a
bit
>Assets that i was not morally against observing during this
process.
>Her breath slowed entirely, even stopping compared to what it
had been before.
>Her stomach pulled in taught.

>Her eyes widened, her smile dropped to a straight line
>She even uncrossed her legs
>Let's just say that i was glad nobody else was watching her when
i did this
>I was enjoying myself immensely though
>I hadn't realized that simple finger caresses could have this
much of an effect on a girl
>i was kinda jealous

>But it was time to make her suffer

>Her performance in the game wasn't doing too hot, but she was
still functioning more or less enough to not matter.
>She hadn't let me play video games though
>That was reprehensible
>She would atone for those sins.
>I would make sure of it.
>This time i moved my hand back up her spine, starting higher
this time.
>I couldn't help but notice that her skin felt hotter, warmer to
the touch than it did earlier.
>Maybe it was my fault, maybe not, i pushed the idea out of my
head.
>It was time for three fingers.

>Because the pointer/index/ring on my hand were not all close to
the same length, touching all three of them and drawing circles
was impossible.
>I figured this out after two or three awkward attempts
>I was not as smooth as i'm making myself sound, trust me.

>Anatomy failing me in my time of need.
>[spoiler] But remember anons, you don't have to be a casanova
with your fingers, even if you're fingers are literally tripping
over one another, it feels nice[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Physical skin to skin contact just feels nice[/spoiler]
>No issue, i could improvise

>I placed my middle and pointer fingers side by side a decent
distance apart, and my ring finger lightly resting a tad bit
further away.
>Then i twisted my entire hand slowly.
>The index and pointer swapped position
>The ring traced an extremely light semi-circle around the
outside of this smaller circle.
>It wasn't very firm, so the ring finger lightly brushed her only
every couple of centimeters
>She tensed again

>Her grin was back
>I moved lower and do it again
>Wider grin, small exhale halfway through
>I was getting to her
>I slide my hand lower, and lightly trickle my fingers across the
spine as i go.
>She's giving tiny-little amounts of air out the side of her
mouth every time one of my fingers touch
>I place my fingers in position again
>I rotate my hand
>She gives what can only be described as half a giggle
>Quite loud too, a couple of the other girls look at her
surprised
>Glasses plays it off like it was a cough
>She's got one of her hands off the controller and up to her
mouth
>How suave
>I guess i went the tiniest bit too far
>But i know her edge now

>I'm relentless
>for ten full minutes i barely-tickle her.
>the lightest finger caresses, the smallest smoothest circles
>She's stifling gasps the entire time
>Her grin is just there to disguise the copious amounts of air
she's exhaling every time i hit the right spot.
>Even her upper chest is fluttering , expanding and contracting
with each microscopic giggle
>Her performance in the game can only be described as awful
>She's dying left and right, she's not getting the right hits
off, she's in absolute vidya hell.
>Just where she had me earlier
>Luckily for her, she wasn't too essential to the fights, and the
rest of the girls were rolling through and reviving her when she
died.
>But she's sending little pleading looks at me now
>She knows what's coming up, a boss.

>I stop, just hold my hand lower on her spine than i had done
circles with three fingers yet.
>I wait for her to be important, i know she's got a job to do
this fight.
>seconds before she has to engage one of the enemies alone.
>i twist my hand
>she lets out a breathy squeak and completely loses
concentration.
>I don't end there though, with my other hand i flip the
waistband of her pants down exposing another half inch of
unexplored skin.
>I make a claw again and run three nails in a very firm scratch
along this newly exposed line
>She's dead
>No amount of concentration was going to save her from the
tensing and suppressed giggling i was causing.
>She falls back against my hand and drops her controller
>She's lying with her back against the couch pillow, first time
she's really been able to relax since i've started touching her.
>She's breathing softly and smoothly and staring right at me.
>Her eyes might be saying "Ravish me" or "Take me now"
>But i'm pretty sure they aren't
>to my careful-eye-observations it looks like "That was mean"
>Yeah i know, those looks can be confusing.

>Ill show ya mean
>she's lying back so her entire chest and stomach are exposed
>You know what this means
>RASPBERRY
>Any excuse to get your lips on exposed skin i guess
>I bend down and place my lips right on the skin above her
bellybutton
>And i blow like a god damn blue whale coming up for air.
>The sound of my lips slapping against her stomach
>The typical PFPFPTPFPTPFPT
>those were the only two sounds in the room
>Until she started laughing
>The longer she did it, the more she squirmed
>She was trying to turn left and right, but i had her held right
where i wanted her and wouldn't let her go.
>Her stomach was flexing back and forth, her arms were flailing
trying to get me off as she giggled and laughed for a full
fifteen seconds.
>She didn't even stop laughing after i ran out of air
>Job well done men.

>I return to my upright seated position
>Her face is an absolute look of mirth
>every muscle on her face is really smiling or giggling, or
trying to stop giggling.
>her chest is heaving, taking her twin beauties up and down with
it.
>She's still even squirming a little bit, her legs rubbing
together slightly
>10/10 perfect laughing angel
>I'm pretty content with my revenge
>I look away from her
>Nobody else is content with my revenge
>Everyone's dead to the boss, the "Game over" screen is just
sitting there
>Blondie, Homely and Birthday are just staring at me like i just
showed up and did something horrible.
>[spoiler]kinda that look you have on your face when the girl you
like is hanging out with you and your friends, and she just
pounces another guy and starts having a tickle fight with
him[/spoiler]

>NO, im not doing this again, fuck you mouth we're using words
this time.
>"Don't look at me like that, she deserved it and she KNEW it."
>I put emphasis on "Knew it" i wanted to make sure glasses knew
why she was just brutally tortured.
>The girls didn't seem to be convinced
>Alright plan B
>"Who wants to be next?"
>I put on my patented serial-killer-evil grin
>But i put out both my hands and start waggling my fingers like
some murderous tickle monster.
>That did it
>Birthday who's the next closest shrieks (the only appropriate
response) and i crawl over glasses at her.
>I end up chasing her laughing face halfway across the couch
before i pin her down and proceed to tickle her.
>She's face up so i manage to pin her down and straddle her
>This means i get to tickle everything in reach

>My hands roam the mountains of her ribs
>Explore the cave of her bellybutton
>Tastefully tease the lower reaches of her navel
>Even climb the lowest foothills of her breasts.
>She's a laughing mess, which is exactly the point
>She's shifting from side to side, moving quickly up and down
beneath me.
>I've got her laughing just as hard, if not harder than glasses
was.
>But i know how the best-laid tickle fights end, so i stop after
a good twenty seconds.
>Birthday is all smiles though

>I'm just clapping myself on the back for successfully turning
this into a tickle fight.
>Tickle fights are the best
>Now who's next?
>I look up at the armchair of the couch and see blondie watching
with a mixture of curiosity and something else in her eyes.
>Perfect

>I telegraph my actions perfectly, i rear up with my hands back
into tickling formation
>I lunge at Blondie's delicious stomach hands outstretched
>"Don't"

>She hadn't just made a playful statement

>It was absolutely stone cold serious.
>The icy emphasis on these words was devoid of all emotions
beside that little amount of timber that lets you know you REALLY
should listen.
>Birthday had been giggling and shouting various things like "No"
and "stop" when i was chasing her.
>But the tone of those was different, they were empty meant to
convey the fun of chasing one another
>This single word seemed to leech all the warmth and fun out of
the room.
>Even some basic aspects of physics ceased to function as
conservation of momentum was no longer a thing and I fell flat on
my face back to the couch
>[spoiler]Really since leaping and pouncing never actually works
like it does in anime[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]i wasn't even in the air, had a knee on the couch and
was just frozen in place.[/spoiler]

>I get back up and look at her with a healthy helping of
confusion, maybe some beans on the side.
>she wasn't even looking at me, still staring straight forward
draped over the side of the couch's arm
>she had her full attention on the television screen
>she was the only girl still holding her controller
>Even homely was halfway to getting up and trying to join in when
the room froze.
>It was like even the lighting had changed, from the warm
afternoon glow of the sun.

>To a shallower cold white, like a cloud had passed overhead.
>I suddenly realized how cold the room was without my shirt on.

>I guess tickling was over
>I guess fun was over
>fuck why is it so cold in here
>I'm now sitting up and staring at blondie's back as she's trying
not to meet my eyes
>I try to wrym my way forwards and meet her eyes and ask what's
wrong
>She just stops moving for a second
>And her head pivots around slowly
>It's like some kind of terrifying child's doll
>I don't even wait to see what her face is going to look like
>Im fucking off that couch
>Halfway across the room
>"I'll go... go get some snacks or something"
>fucking gone man

>I arrive in the kitchen
>Its much warmer in here

>that terrifies me that this is the first thing i notice
>I rummage around in the cabinets and find a bag of something
crunchy and i start going for one of the lower cabinets to find a
bowl.
>I figure maybe food is what we need to settle that mood in
there, since i really don't know what just happened.
>While i'm kneeling, i find there's actually quite a bit of mayo
that spilled down here, along with part of a tomato
>I consider cleaning it up myself, but i'm contemplating pulling
one of the girls in here for company while i prepare drinks too.
>Birthday would be welcome company, she knows where everything is
anyway.
>I yell out across the house "There's some mayo and tomato
spilled in here, someone missed a spot"

>I finally find a bowl, and stand up to place it on the counter
along with the chips
>I freeze halfway
>The room is icy
>The light is cold
>It's absolutely astounding how one person can change the
perceived atmosphere of a place
>Humans are such perceptive creatures that even subtle body
language can make you feel physical sensations, or draw you from
one mood to the next.
>Blondie was standing in the door
>She wasn't smiling, she wasn't frowning.
>Her eyes were scowling, maybe burning at me
>Her eyebrows were furrowed
>But her mouth was straight, serious
>"Where"
>That one word sent chills through me
>What in Odin's name had i done to her.

>I just kind of place the bowl on the counter and point towards
the corner where the mess was
>She glides over like a ghost, i could swear if i didn't see her
hips swaying slightly i wouldn't know she was moving behind the
island in the middle of the kitchen.
>I try to avoid eye contact
>If i catch her gaze, i know i'm going to have to start making
will saving throws.
>I just busy myself with arranging cups on the island and getting
out another 2L of soda that's in the fridge
>It's been like three or four minutes of me getting food ready,
and i turn around to find blondie still wiping at the same spot
in the corner with a paper towel.
>I'm really worried about her but i don't say anything
>I just continue fixing the drinks
>She's still back there though, i'm getting chills up and down my
spine
>not just my spine, the hair on the back of my legs is standing
up every time i turn away from her.

>I finish up moving and arranging everything i could possibly use
my time for
>I'm dreading this moment
>I turn around
>she's still rubbing the area in small circles
>She's crouched, facing away from me
>I step behind her and kneel down and place my hand on her
shoulder
>"Blondi-"

>She's standing up
>She's turning around
>NOPE.webm
>WHY DIDN'T I REMEMBER LAST TIME I DID THIS
>Its too late
>She's turned around
>You know that face that women make in anime where they have this
shadow over the entire thing and you can't see it
>This was what i saw
>She had her head tilted downwards and the lights in the room
just didn't hit where i was trying to look because her hair was
in the way.
>I would be terrified
>But i can't be
>Because she shoves me
>The accompanying shout could rouse entire nations
>I don't doubt everyone in the other room could hear it as clear
as if they were right beside her.
>"GET YOUR HAND OFF ME"

>Now getting shoved is no big deal
>She obviously didn't like the hand on her shoulder, and i had
fucked up in even attempting to be a caring worrying human about
her wiping up a mayo spill for six minutes straight.
>The issue was not that i was shoved
>Or that she had yelled and everyone had heard it.
>The issue was what i was shoved towards.
>Remember how i said there was an island in the middle of the
kitchen
>Well that island was square
>It had lovely wooden corners, just like the rest of the kitchen
finishings
>One of those corners was right at the height of the small of my
back

>Now as many anons might know
>[spoiler]There's some things in your back that are really
important[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]One of these things is a bundle of nerves called the
Celiac Plexus[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Now what happens when you hit this bundle of nerves is
a bunch of really fun things[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Depending on how hard you hit it, various things can
happen[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Temporary Paralysis of the Diaphragm[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Minor loss of limb function[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Excruciating pain[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Cascading serious effects through the majority of your
nervous system[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Disruption of organ function[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]In rare cases, death[/spoiler]

>Now i got the fun mixture of these
>I hit my back on this corner.
>It wedged itself right into the crevice beside my spine
>and a couple things happened.
>Firstly i could see blondie's face again
>She was angry
>When i say fire was in her eyes, i mean her eyebrows were
getting singed
>Her face was contorted into a mixture of pure rage, and what i
can only assume is true heartbreak
>I was impressed i was able to read all these emotions and
feelings though
>Because colors changed

>Everything in the room got brighter
>Way way brighter, we're talking luminosity settings in photoshop
bright
>She was still yelling, but everything around her was glowing
>I couldn't hear a word either, nothing was coming out of her
mouth
>I tried to focus and hear what she was saying, but that was when
i realized why everything was blindingly bright
>the Pain
>For whatever reason i'm now feeling the equivalent of being
kicked in the balls earlier
>Multiplied by 10
>Across my ENTIRE spinal column and every radiant nerve cluster i
can imagine was close
>There is no proper way to describe pain like this
>if you could imagine burning hot coals across every inch of skin
on your back.
>With a pool of molten lead burning through your liver
>That's as close as i can ever imagine.
>Just know that when i felt it, i didn't just freeze up, i
fucking collapsed
>I was on the floor, hands and knees in the most agony i've ever
experienced in my life
>BUT IT GETS BETTER

>I'm on my hands and knees in this kitchen
>I'm suffering a fucking twenty on the 1-10 pain scale.
>I can hear blondie yelling
>words are getting through
>"Birthday" (The name)

>"Bathroom"
>"Better"
>But you know what
>I don't care right now
>I really don't care
>i'm going to cry
>I try to cry
>i can't

>Great, just great
>What's fucking wrong now
>Tears are streaming down my face
>I can see them dripping off my nose
>But i can't make a sound
>I want to be bawwling like a fucking newborn child
>My mouth is open
>But no sounds come out
>It's like i'm in a nightmare
>Some horrible nightmare where you try to scream and you can't
>I'm in some nightmare where i'm watching the most terrible
destructive monster just slowly inch towards my friend and i
can't warn them.

>But this is real
>Blondie is still screaming profanities at me from my right
>I still can't make a single sound though
>I'm just hanging my head, mouth wide open and staring through
the floor like i want to scream.
>Everything burns, the pain in my back is still pulsing and
throbbing like it's a wound being constantly re-opened by razor
blades.
>My chest is burning just as badly, i don't understand
>I didn't hit my chest
>But it's still burning, more and more every second.

>I try to take a breath
>I can't
>WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T
>[spoiler]Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you
anons?[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Its a blow to the same bundle of nerves, although many
times far less direct, and far less intense[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]for those of you who haven't[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Take a breath, in... out[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Notice how you can control how your chest does that
in-out thing?[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Now imagine if you tried to take a breath and nothing
happened[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Nothing you can do to make your chest move
works[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Imagine suffocating on dry land[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Welcome to the moment anons, if you want you can hold
your breath and see how long you make it.[/spoiler]

>Now i'd just taken a serious, hard, direct hit to this bundle of
nerves
>My Diaphragm was paralyzed
>It had been a minute, maybe two
>I hadn't had a single breath
>I couldn't scream
>I couldn't cry
>I couldn't breathe
>I couldn't beg blondie for help
>Everything was burning
>My chest was the worst part
>My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute
>Which means i was using up oxygen far far too quickly to be
holding my breath this long

>Have you ever experienced suffocation anons?
>[spoiler]This is not a sensation that i assume is very common,
or even relatable on any kind of real level because of how
extreme it is. But i'll try to explain it anyway.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Hold your breath as long as you can[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] First you'll feel a pressure in your lungs, a slight
burning in your throat and upper mouth, then the burning moves
lower, a heat spreads throughout your torso[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Eventually the burning and pressure get so hot that
your eyes start to water[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Its at this point that every single one of you will
take a breath, its instinct[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] This will happen even if you're underwater, filling
your lungs and burning your insides with the liquid[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Now if you're not underwater, that pressure just gets
bigger, and bigger, until you're screaming on the inside to
breathe[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]Your vision begins swimming, your eyes lose focus, the
pressure is like a fourty pound wieght upon your chest[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]and it hurts, it hurts like nothing you would ever
believe. Suffocation is known to be one of the most painful ways
to die.[/spoiler]

>There is a level of helplessness there that is absolutely
mystifying and terrifying at the same time.
>I was so close to everything
>Air was right in front of me, if only i could make my lungs work
>If i could say "I can't breathe" blondie would have stopped
yelling to help me no matter how angry she was
>anyone would have, any fucking one of you would have helped if
you had known
>It's the most crushing helplessness i've ever felt.
>If i could have even thought of what to do in that situation it
would helped
>But i couldn't think
>Too much pain, everything hurt, i couldn't see straight
>White spots were popping up in my vision
>[spoiler]That's indicative of cells in your eyes not getting
enough oxygen[/spoiler]
>I had to do something
>every muscle in my body was burning, the pain from my back was
like a single coal in an ocean of suns.
>I could still use my arms though, i did the only thing i could
think of.

>I dropped my left arm
>I fell, hit my shoulder hard, full weight of my body and gravity
>i didn't feel a thing
>i gave the best shove i could with my right arm
>this was maybe a second of movement, its all i had in me
>My back hits the tiles hard

>I don't feel a thing

>I see three blurry figures standing by the fridge
>i can't tell who they are
>i ended up more or less on my back with my lower torso twisted
>it's enough

>I throw my arms up and onto my chest
>I really can't feel anything anymore

>It's just burning
>I try to press down as hard as i can and force my lungs to
contract
>I can't do it

>I'm not strong enough
>[spoiler]Try it anons, you just can't[/spoiler]
>I give three attempts before i can't feel my arms anymore
>as in i can't move them
>It was like that sensation you get when you've fallen asleep on
your arm, and you wake up and its stiff and tingly until it wakes
up
>But in reverse
>My arms and hands were stiff
>I couldn't move them, they were tingling just like sleeping on
your arms
>That was really all i could feel was the tingling
>It was spreading across my body slowly
>I guess it was a relief after the pain
>I'm not really seeing anything anymore
>its not like everything faded to black
>or faded to white
>No, the color was grey
>But it wasn't grey, it was Grey with that color of a soap bubble
reflecting the light, or an oil mark on a driveway shining in the
sunlight.
>It was grey, and then every other color at the same time.


>I don't really wake up
>I mean its not like wake up in the normal sense
>first thing i recognize is that i can see the grey again
>i guess it went away for a while
>It's lovely, its shimmering back and forth between everything
>second thing i recognize is that the pressure on my chest is
different
>It's not like a weight anymore
>It's very precise though, and i feel it pressing very, very
firmly into me.
>I'm trying to figure out if my hands are working again and
trying to move them, but i can't tell.
>when i realize with my half-addled brain that it might be
someone else
>I still don't feel much of anything
>I try to take a breath again
>its extremely hot, but i manage to inhale just a little bit, as
if you can only take one 100th of a breath.

>I keep trying
>2/100ths of a breath
>out
>4/100ths of a breath
>The sensation was painstaking
>everything hurt again, the burning was back
>I still can't see anything
>still feel like i'm drowning
>But every breath i take is slightly bigger and helps just a bit
more
>That's all i'm focused on is breathing
>In
>Out
>in
>Out

>Eventually i can realize that i'm not actually the only one
breathing
>The pressure on my chest is definitely someone else
>Hands maybe
>It's forcing my chest downwards and really not helping though
>I'm kind of breathing on my own, even if it's only with a fourth
of my diaphragm
>Every couple other breaths i keep taking are hot, like the air
is different.
>Mouth maybe
>I'm dimly aware someone is trying to give me CPR
>[spoiler]thank you time traveling anons[/spoiler]

>I've started to regain my basic motor functions
>vision is back, but its just an absolute blur of colors
>Imagine all the colors in a room
>Now take the most common ones and just make those cover
everything
>That was all i saw
>Wait a bit
>There we go, there's some basic shapes
>Three girls
>fuck if i can tell who they were
>All of them looked to be kneeling above me
>Every couple seconds one of them got real close and i could
almost see the face and eyes
>I guess that's whoever was giving me CPR
>after she pulls back , i manage to let out a cough
>I don't know if anything was in my lungs, but it sure felt like
they were still not working correctly
>the cough was weak, empty, and just ended in a breath
>i was conscious enough to know that i sounded terrible

>It's eventually to the point where half my lungs seem to be
working

>and the tingling is doing the same thing, but in reverse.
>It feels exactly like i just slept on my entire body, and it was
returning to being awake.
>I can take breaths deep enough to satiate the fire burning
inside me
>All it does is takes away one pain and reminds me there's still
another
>Those searing hot coals all over my back are back
>Its far more focused though, and centralized
>it's excruciating though
>I think i want to cry again
>that's almost the first sound i make
>but it comes out as sort of an "auugghh" before i realize i need
more air again

>Everyone's in focus, my eyes must be moving and it must be
obvious i'm breathing.
>Because the CPR has stopped and i can recognize the girl
hovering over me
>Well i can't actually recognize her, her face is a blur but i
can see one detail
>She's wearing glasses
>I guess its time to try to move
>Nope that's not gonna work
>The second i twitch a finger, EVERY MUSCLE the entire way up my
arm burns
>It's like i've run a marathon and my blood forgot to take the
lactic acid away.
>[spoiler]if you don't know what that is, its what makes your
muscles hurt, go watch the magic schoolbus or something[/spoiler]

>whatever was going on, i could move a tiny bit, but it hurt like
hell
>it was like all my limbs hadn't finished that waking up process
and i was just forcing them into action
>my legs do REALLY hurt though
>I try to lift my head and can't really, i get it like an inch or
two before my neck just doesn't work anymore
>It's enough to see that i'm all twisted around
>I don't think i should try moving yet, but this pain is killing
me
>It's throbbing like some raging fire in my lower back, i can't
get away from it
>I try talking
>gibberish comes out
>oh no,  that's not how you talk, let's try this again.

>"I thought"
>there we go, i got two words out
>I have no clue what i was trying to say though
>let's try this again
>I move my tongue around my mouth, trying to get its bearings,
like it needed to be in a specific place for whatever i was going
to say next.
>I really can't feel my tongue very well though
>try number #3 at talking
>"Died"
>Yep, that's about right
>I thought i died
>Really i guess i technically was dead for a while there
>I didn't ever ask the girls how long i was really out
>I didn't want to know
>But what you've read is the description of exactly, word to
word, feeling to feeling. Of dying.
>[spoiler]The more you know i guess[/spoiler]

>Those words didn't do much to help any of the girls in the room
>Birthday and homely were scanning my face, as if they could find
some kind of solution to fix this, both of them nearly falling
apart with looks of despair.
>Glasses was leaning over me staring at my face.
>She was crying
>Her mouth open, and openly sobbing, just the first few teeth
showing.
>I couldn't see her eyes, the lenses were covered in tears.

>i felt the need to do like i always did
>try to brighten the mood with a joke, or something
>i start

>"New Rule"

>Oh man it's hard to talk like this.
>I can't feel my tongue enough to make the words come out
correctly
>I can't be sure i didn't sound like i had a lisp, or if i was
even saying the words correctly, but i tried
>"No more Dying"
>It felt really sappy
>I feel like i'd seen it in a movie somewhere
>But it worked
>The girls looked like a load dropped off each of their
shoulders, and homely/birthday were doing some kind of
hugging-cheering thing
>I would describe it in detail but it kinda hurt to look.
>just imagine something generic

>Someone's going to need to give the Memo to blondie though
>with the Addendum "No more Killing either"
>Oh yeah, wait where is blondie
>That's my new question
>I manage to get her name out for the girl's to hear
>Birthday gets up and vanishes around the side of the kitchen
island
>I guess she went to go get her
>there were still a million questions about why she was gone
though
>did she leave when she realized i was hurt
>did she not even understand i couldn't breathe?
>i don't even think the girls knew until i turned over and i
don't think she was there.
>I guess my questioning face was obvious, because glasses mumbles
a quiet "She didn't know"
>I don't know if that's worth forgiving her though

>The pain in my legs is still there
>Getting worse, i wonder if i broke something or maybe my legs
are just never going to work again
>I still can't move my lower torso, or anything without it really
hurting
>least i think i can't
>I try
>yep, still REALLY hurts.
>just checking
>I enlist the girls for help
>"My legs"
>Just saying this felt like an awful cliche
>i didn't even say "I can't move my" or "Can't feel my"
>Because really i could move and feel them
>Boy could i feel them.

>They helped though, i get rolled right way up, and glasses kinda
picks me up and props me against one of the lower cabinets so i'm
sitting.
>This makes breathing lots harder, but i've almost fully regained
use of my lungs so it's alright
>In my mind, how cliche the "My legs" comment came out made me
imagine they thought i was disabled or something
>I grit my teeth through the pain and lifted my right knee up and
closer to me before setting my foot down.
>There we go, now we all knew my legs worked
>[spoiler]I'll be honest i wasn't really sure myself. glad they
did though[/spoiler]
>Next on the list are arms
>These seem to work ok, not as much pain as the legs
>I guess legs were a ton closer to the nerve cluster
>I'm flexing my fingers like they're some kind of new robotic toy
when i realize i've been hearing yelling for the past minute

>Birthday is screaming something in the distance
>Blondie is screaming back
>It doesn't take very long for the screaming to get closer
>It doesn't even seem to be an argument anymore, i just hear
shouts from blondie
>I see them both come around into my view in the kitchen
>Well i see the feet and legs
>Blondie doesn't seem to be walking though, birthday is dragging
her
>It doesn't even seem to be a fight, Blondie just gets tossed to
the floor near me like she was some hunk of meat from a recent
hunter's kill
>Even if she's a hunk of meat, she hits the ground like a sack of
potatoes, really looks like it hurt
>[spoiler]I don't know if you realized, but Birthday has a way
more violent side than all the other women[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] It's not so much as she enjoys hurting people, but
when her friends are hurt, she just goes into a mother bear
protecting cubs kind of mode[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]It's not something you really want to be on the wrong
side of[/spoiler]

>Before blondie can get up, birthday is more or less on-top of
her
>Blondie's trying to get her off, but birthday is the bigger
girl, eventually she's just pinned underneath flat on her back.
>There's a lot of screaming during this.
>"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM" - Birthday
>"WHEN YOU YELLED AT HIM HE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND ALMOST DIED" -
Birthday
>w... well i guess it looked like a heart attack

>To them i just kinda flopped over and grabbed my chest
>"I didn't do ANYTHING, he put his hand on me and i SHOVED HIM
OFF" - Blondie
>"YOU probably did SOMETHING earlier to him in the BATHROOM
...SLUT" - Blondie
>Oh blondie, no don't start the name calling

>"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLUT MISS PRISSYPANTS, YOU HAD A SHOWER
WITH HIM" - Birthday
>Too late
>"THAT's because he LIKES me BETTER, stop being such a BITCH" -
Blondie
>"I BET you SLEEP with all the BOYS you invite over don't you
SLUT" - Blondie

>Now blondie suddenly stopped screaming profanities at Birthday.
>This was only at the point at which Birthday's hands were firmly
enclosed around blondie's throat
>And Blondie was getting throttled

>This wasn't nice throttling either
>I'm in horrible agony, so i assume glasses or homely will step
in and fix this
>you know... any time now
>any time at all
>Nope, they're just staring
>Blondie at this point was now making the entire orchestral
arrangement of sounds that you make when someone's choking you.
>Birthday is screaming all kinds of things like "HE COULD HAVE
DIED" and "I'M NOT A SLUT" and "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE A BITCH"
>Normal girl things, you know

>Blondie is still getting choked though
>I guess i don't have a fucking choice do i
>I put my right arm out onto the tile floor
>Kinda lift my entire body up and swing around it like a pivot
>and i punch Birthday in the jaw
>she's not really as close as i'd like her to be
>I don't really connect properly, i doubt it even really hurt
>But she's surprised enough to be off blondie
>Goal completed, now i'm teetering out here on one arm
>Not going to end well
>I manage to get my punching hand down onto the tile before i
crash into it
>It's a rough landing but i end up with my head somewhere warm
and soft
>I'm pretty sure i'm lying sideways with my head on Blondie's
stomach
>could be worse
>I absolutely can't move anymore, my back is killing me.

>Birthday screams a "WHAT THE FUCK" off in the corner
>I manage to irk out a "AGAINST THE RULES" really loudly
>I don't know what it sounded like, but i'm sure blondie was
confused as fuck and birthday/glasses/homely understood.
>wasn't on my list to make blondie understand

>it's literally only been like 2 minutes since i made that rule
>but already someone tried to break it, for fuck's sake.
>i punctuate it with a
>"If anyone's strangling blondie..."
>I gotta catch a breath, i'm dying
>my back is searing white hot, just moving made it hurt a hell of
a lot worse
>"It's going to be me"
>I chuckle to myself
>i'll strangle her later
>The other girls don't seem to be agreeing, there's a hell of a
lot of gasping at my comment.
>oh come on, it was funny.

>They're making really worried sounds and homely keeps repeating
"No" and "Ouch"
>It was a joke, i'm sorry.
>I try to make this clear to them in as few words as i can
>i'm interrupted by birthday, who isn't shouting at me anymore
>"No, your back"
>Oh, great, what now
>Probably have a tattoo or something, someone probably did it
while i was sleeping.
>i fucking hate sleepovers.
>I'm brought back by imagining what the tattoo is of, by Homely
describing a giant red swollen welt, with what looks to be the
beginning of a black and blue bruise in the middle.
>Oh, right i'm just gonna lie here for a bit longer
>Blondie's stomach is perfect for relaxing my head on anyway

>I can hear the girls in the background doing something
>Birthday seems to have decided we need to apply ice and stop it
from swelling/getting worse
>The other girls agree
>I figure ice might feel better than this pain
>But i'm distracted by the realization i've got my head firmly on
blondie's stomach, and facing what looks to be the waistband of
her pants
>and that my weight has pulled the skin away from the waistband
just enough for me to almost see inside.
>This mission has my utmost concentration, and through it i
manage to stave off the pain
>Being a pervert has its benefits i guess
>Also she fucking owed me

>Eventually ice is applied
>It felt like [spoiler]You know what ice feels like
anon[/spoiler]
>Hint: it was really cold if you forgot.
>and after a substantial amount of lying there in the kitchen
>Half on the floor, half on Blondie's stomach, with other girls
fretting around us both and making sure we're ok
>It hurts quite a ton less
>You know back within pain ranges i can manage to describe to
fellow anons
>[spoiler]Thousands of Bamboo shoots plunged through your skin at
once, or the sensation accompanied by grabbing a pair of pliers
and ripping a fingernail straight upwards[/spoiler]
>I hope you flinched
>Serves you right for reading my spoilers
>Point was it hurt really bad, but i could finally take it like a
man.
>Sad part was i still never got a peek into her pants, i guess
some things weren't meant to be.

>Eventually i get up
>seems my legs, arms, functioning decently
>I manage to prop myself up on a nearby cabinet and sit against
it
>This really hurts, but i have enough motor coordination to hold
the ice pack against my back while i do it.
>The ice seems to be really helping, i thank birthday for the
wisdom.
>Blondie is still lying there like she's broken or something
>Guess she's just thinking and didn't want to move though,
>Eventually she gets up and sits directly across from me, her
legs right beside mine and her toes halfway up my left thigh

>i'm feeling much less dead than i was before, that's a good
thing i felt at the time.
>I point out to the group "I... made snacks"
>There's still something crunchy in a bowl, and various cups and
what used to be a cold-bottle of soda on the counter.
>The three un-injured girls busy themselves pouring drinks.
>I guess its a welcome thing to busy themselves with

>Eventually drinks are properly poured and handed out to everyone
>Homely hands me a cup
>I try to hold it
>I can't stop my hands from shaking.
>I'm spilling soda everywhere
>I don't know why.
>Is it finally setting in that i was actually almost dead just a
short while ago?
>Is it the pain?
>Did i really fuck something up back there?
>I'm feeling completely ashamed as homely stops my hands and
holds them still
>She takes the cup and i feel hopeless again as she helps me
drink some of it.
>[spoiler]That's a feel i haven't been over[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But being an american specially, its ingrained into us
to feel like shit when we need to ask for help.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]No lie, its a part of our culture.[/spoiler]

>Homely helps me drink another third of the cup, complete with
crooning and mama-birding.
>I've had enough of that real quick
>i tell them i'm going to try to stand up
>I do it all in one shot
>One leg, two legs, I'm on my feet
>They still seem to work and i'm not too shaky
>I would talk about how much it hurts, but you know already
>Plus i had to smooth this entire mess out
>Again
>Even though it's really not my fault
>And i should be the last person doing it.
>First step is blondie, i shout her name.

>She jumps, full body muscle tense, must have been lost in
thought.
>She's now looking up at me, i'm sure from where she's sitting
she can see how hard i'm white knuckling the counter to stay
standing.
>"Apologize!"
>She starts stammering "I... i'm sorry i shoved you i di-
>Awe that's cute, but if she's going to apologize to me it better
be on her knees.
>ideally with my pants off.
>"Not me, Birthday" , my tone of voice is flat, i've got no
emotions but ow this hurts.
>She looks surprised.
>Not just surprised, that angry sort of "well fuck you too"
surprised.
>"Why"
>I'm not dealing with this, we're not arguing
>I just use the oldest trick in the book to fix things
>"Because you owe me." , i've slanted my eyes downward at her
angrily when saying this.
>Guilt

>Perfect acting.
>She's stuck between being angry at birthday, or feeling even
worse about hurting me.
>She mumbles some sort of apology
>It's really quiet
>I'm glaring at her and i begin moving my mouth to say "louder"
>she seems to get the idea and repeat it again so that birthday
can hear without me saying a word though.
>Birthday knows her part, she gives a curt "Apology accepted" and
returns with her own apology about attacking her
>I say "Twice", and birthday looks at me confused for a second
before adding an apology for the time she tied up blondie too.
>Blondie doesn't seem willing to accept these until i give her
another glare.
>"I accept"
>she doesn't seem very happy about it.

>This is just the beginning, i spend the next five minutes
forcing the girls to recount and apologize
>about every single conceivable little problem they've had with
one another,

>or fight they've started this entire time.
>Its very cathartic
>I'm sure everyone feels slightly better than the actual anger
less than 30 minutes before.
>Now i have the problem of sorting out everyone's feelings
towards me
>Oh man this is gonna be great.
>Well that's what i'm thinking, but my hands are cramping and i
just can't force myself to stand anymore.
>I guess my legs are shaking too, and from what i hear i had a
grimace the entire time.
>Whatever it was, Blondie seems to realize i'm teetering upon
collapse, and i find myself being supported with my arm over her
shoulder and hers under mine.

>Its a welcome change and i can let go of the counter and lean on
her instead.
>Because of the amount of clothing we were wearing, my arm was
experiencing near full skin contact along her shoulder blades,
and hers felt smooth and warm upon mine.
>It was comforting to say the least, but i still had to smooth
things over with her myself
>Hell, all the girls had heard the screaming match
>They knew what i had done in the bathroom with birthday, and
they probably thought it was a hell lot more than kissing.
>Alright i wasn't going to pussyfoot around this topic
>"I made out with Birthday in the bathroom."
>I say it loudly and clearly like i was some kind of confident
stud
>I wasn't, this could backfire in so many ways it wasn't funny
>not to mention i'm pretty sure i couldn't even hope to curl into
a ball and tactical roll out of here.

>I  continue
>"She was topless, we had maybe 10 minutes together..."
>My voice is wavering, its a mixture of pain and my confidence
slowly draining away as i'm watching the faces of the other girls
>Homely looks hurt, glasses looks sad, blondie just has a grim
face on through the entire speech.
>I'm hurting inside and outside, but i've got to finish what i've
started
>"It wasn't meant to hurt anyone, but blondie overheard us and it
did..."
>On the words 'Blondie' and 'did', the girl in question pulled me
closer with the arm she had under my shoulder.
>This stretched my back and really hurt
>i'd like to imagine she didn't know this though.

>I keep up with the speech.
>I'm dying little by little with each word though, my voice has
lost its confidence entirely.
>I know this is going to kill me
>"I didn't mean to lead all of you on like that, it was unfair,
and selfish of me"
>I couldn't read their faces anymore
>they were shimmering blurry wet blobs
>i think i was crying
>my back really hurt alright?
>[spoiler] i wasn't feeling guilty ok, don't judge me[/spoiler]
>"I don't blame any of you for being hurt, or angry..."
>on the word "angry" i'm pretty sure one of the girls gives off a
snort like a raging bull.
>and i'm wearing hot-pink sweatpants.

>"But you didn't get your fair chance, and i want to make it up
to you"
>I think my voice even cracked a little bit there, from the back
pain of course.
>I'm done with my speech though, i sink a little on my knees and
lean on blondie more.
>i figure if she's going to drop me, i might as well be ready for
it
>I calculate atleast two full rolls before i'm overcome with pain
and can't get away.
>I'm trying to decide in which position i want to take my deadly
beating (i've decided i want to make some sort of heroic pose
wherever i stop rolling on the floor)
>I'm interrupted by a voice from across the kitchen, it sounds
like homely but i'm not looking up in that direction so i'm not
sure.
>"Ten minutes, Each."
>N... not what i was expe-
>"Fifteen, Alone." That was blondie's voice right next to me
>It was cold and angry
>I might not get to choose which pose i die in after all.

>I'm not even able to interrupt before the girls are haggling
amongst one another
>Fifteen minutes alone, Same amount of clothing as Birthday had
or more.
>Then the kicker
>Birthday had to sit outside the door and listen, she could only
stop it when 15 minutes were up.
>Because she had cheated and tried to hide it.
>Ouch
>Women man, i mean this sounds awesome and all but ouch
>Imagine if a group of guys got 15 minutes of "free time" each in
a bathroom with a girl you were crushing hard on, and you were
forced to listen.
>Yeah, thats fucking harsh.

>Women are truly all cutthroat conniving masters of emotional
torture
>Poor birthday
>I'm actually speaking up to contest this kicker when birthday
pops up with her opinion
>"That's fine by me" - Its dull, emotionless, no expression on
her face.
>My lord, this woman is tougher than me
>May her heart rest in pieces at the bottom of her chest cavity.
Rip.

>Maybe she just hates me, it would just be better that way.
>Either way, i wasn't much better off
>As long as this back hurt like this, i was definitely a broken
man.
>The mind was willing, but the body was actually weak and
bruised.

>I try to explain the amount of agony i'm in simply being held up
by blondie in the kitchen
>They want none of it
>It's happening
>Thisisthegraveyoudugnowlieinit.psd
>I have the feeling that they're just angry at me and one
another, and using this as a way to get even.
>I have the sneaking and very strong suspicion that the entire
time they'll try to flaunt everything to the other women to get
back at them.
>Even though they fucking apologized and accepted it and
everything
>Why aren't they bros yet
>What ever happened to no hard feelings
>God they're truly evil creatures.
>They decide to play rock-paper-scissors for who gets first turn.
>Evil i tell you

>First round and Blondie gets rock with her free hand,
>Glasses does rock and homely does scissors.
>Last place thucka, take that.
>Second round
>They both pick Scissors
>Third round
>Scissors
>Fourth Round
>Scissors
>Really, come on now, two girls just Scissoring one another, who
does that.
>There's probably children reading this story, keep it PG girls.
>[spoiler]If there are children reading this story i promise i
won't tell your parents[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]if there are parents reading this story i promise i
won't tell your children[/spoiler]

>You don't really care what the final results were, but Glasses
won with her masterful ability to win every game she plays.
>It might be just one of those lesser-known superpowers.
>Whatever it was, i found her arm under my other shoulder and her
taking weight off blondie.
>I'm then corralled and dragged off towards the master bedroom,
with the others in tow.
>I glance at the clock as we go by
>4:15
>I sure hope i can survive the next 45 minutes
>That hope is instantly crushed as i realize exactly how painful
it is to walk.
>I'm actually atleast 5-10% more dead by the time i get to the
bedroom.
>I've got pain written all over my face, and i know glasses can
see it.
>But she's got a straight face the entire time.

>We make it into the master bedroom and homely/blondie are locked
outside.
>No eavesdropping for them
>I don't make it more than halfway into the room before flopping
onto the bed
>I don't want to move anymore
>I ask if we can just do it here on the bed because its soft and
i won't have to move, but i get a hard "No" from glasses.
>):
>I guess it's meaner if we don't let birthday watch, man that
poor girl
>I get picked up again and dragged towards the bathroom
>I try to think up ways i can make it better for birthday
>I'm really hurting though, so i can't really think as well as i
want to.
>I just come up with the plan of whispering something in her ear
as i go into the bathroom
>Birthday is just standing there with a sad look on her face
holding the door for us and looking at the clock.
>I get dragged nearby her, and i squeeze glasses for a second to
get her to stop
>I lean over and whisper in birthday's ear
>"I fucked your mother"
>The last thing she sees is glasses' shit-eating-grin.
>The door slams behind us
>I hear various loud bangs in the other room

>I realize when we're inside that i did not put the words out
that i wanted to put out
>Frankly i don't think i could have said any sentence in the
world that would have possibly been worse.
>not a single one, not anything
>Glasses is almost giggling to herself, she definitely heard
>She's lowering me to the ground softly with the biggest smile on
her face.
>She probably thinks my plan is great
>I don't have a plan
>She's probably going to painfully rape me
>Someone please tell me what my plan is
>and then i'm going to be killed as soon as i step outside.

>Anyone

>Glasses tries to lower me to the floor back-first
>I touch the tile and it stings HORRIBLY
>It's two seconds before i'm on my front pressing my cheek
against the cool tiles.
>I'm really hurting all over, not as bad as earlier but i do not
want to partake in sexytime.
>I try to make this clear "Could... we just not do anything?"
>This is a plea, a real, plea
>There's hope in my voice
>i'm internally screaming "come on glasses ill make it up to you
later i promise".
>She's direct as always
>"Nope"
>Its loud, i know she's said it intentionally like that with glee
in her voice
>There's more angry sounds outside the door
>Im so sorry birthday
>I'm preparing for whatever large phallic objects are going to be
inserted into my body
>My mind isn't willing nor is my body ready, but i'm doomed
>I can't see what she's doing, but i know its coming.
>It's at that moment that i feel something cold, and very slimy
squirt all over my back

>Now i'm just confused
>Atleast the Rape train is bringing lube, even if it doesn't have
any brakes.
>I just brace for impact
>I feel a hand
>another hand
>She's got both her hands on my back
>It actually feels really nice, even if it's a tad tender
>She starts rubbing my back
>I get a whiff of whatever the cold liquid was
>It was lotion, she's giving me a backrub.
>Well it was a backrub until she rubs a little closer to the
tender spot
>I let out an "auughh", its loud because it does really hurt.
>But her hands feel wonderful
>She responds with "How do you like that , big-boy?" and a soft
(but very audible) moan of her own.
>Oh no glasses this is dirty


>She continually alternates between firmly massaging my tense
muscles, to lightly prodding the tender portion of my back.
>Each time she hits something that hurts, i can't help but let
out a sound
>*Groan*
>"Ooohhh"
>"Hyummg"
>"Hooough"
>Every time she makes me make one of these sounds, she responds
with a sexy moan of her own.
>Sometimes its throaty and guttural
>Sometimes its shrill and more of a squeak
>Sometimes it was just a long exasperated gasp of contentment
>But it's always loud
>I feel terrible for doing this, but the massage feels absolutely
amazing
>And it's definitely helping my back,
>Well until she runs out of lotion and her hands stop sliding so
well across it.
>I take the bait

>I loudly state "It needs to be wetter", intentionally changing
the pitch of my voice halfway through.
>I can almost hear her smiling
>Her voice echoes through the bathroom "I'm SoRrY i can't HeLp
IT" , every letter with a singsong pitch.
>Oh man, i'm dying of guilty laughter on the inside.
>She does get more lotion though, and the awesome backrub
continues.
>I'm really in backrub paradise and i'm fully into it
>i even start giving out tiny moans of my own when she's not even
near anything sore
>It takes her a tiny bit more rubbing before she hands me a
question on a silver platter.
>"Are you close?"
>I don't even respond in words, she gets a "mmmhhmmmmm" as loud
as i can manage.
>Her pace intensifies, she's focusing more on my tender areas and
working out the constricted knot of muscles from all the pain.
>I can't help it, i'm making every sound in the book, very close
together.
>She's breathing loudly, she's letting out little tiny carefully
planned sounds, squeaks, squeals, giggles.
>She's got a mental timer it seems, because eventually she just
takes both hands and firmly presses into the tender spot i hit
the counter.
>I let out a long, exasperated "Auuuuuuughhuhhuhhhghhh" and she
matches it with the loudest most content sigh you'll ever hear.
>This woman is an evil mastermind.
>I love it.

>She seems to be counting in her head, so she helps me up and
then moves me back to the toilet
>I then get draped one arm over it, the other hanging loose, and
she makes a goofy smile at me.
>I get the hint
>I put on the dumbest most satisfied face i can
>She starts washing her hands, and is drying up as there's a
knock at the door
>Birthday's voice is shrill as she announces time's up
>It's obvious she's trying to hide her emotions.
>The door opens and she sees Glasses just finishing washing her
hands, and me in the corner with a goofy smile.
>I feel bad, i really do, but i enjoyed that far far too much.
>But its time for me to get up
>Miraculously i can stand and i don't fall down anymore, fucking
miracles.
>I walk out of the bathroom on only my own two feet, and i lean
over to birthday as we leave.
>Poor girl has a sad look on her face.
>ill fix that.
>"At Least with your mother, i was thinking of you the entire
time"


>Well its not sad anymore
>That wasn't a compliment if any anons are confused.
>It's a mixture of quizzical and angry.
>I laugh, i force it to be a belly laugh and vibrate the air
around me softly.
>This really hurts my back, but its worth it.
>The steam coming out of Birthday's ears is priceless, i can hear
it hissing like a teapot in the background as i walk away and
follow Glasses to the bedroom door.
>Next up is Blondie
>I remember i should ask Glasses to remove all sharp objects from
the bathroom, but i can't get to her in time before the changing
of the guards occurs.
>Blondie doesn't come in happily though
>The second she's inside she's got her hands on her hips
>I'm getting daggered via eyes again
>I need to come up with a cute name for that, Eyedags? Dageyes?
The women use it so often i should just have it ready.

>She's firing the damn things at me, just know that.

>She's not one for talking this round, she just grabs my waist
and drags me along with her
>Her hands go right where i really don't want them, and she even
digs in a little
>It's all i can do from screaming as she shoves me towards the
bathroom.
>Really just you had to grab me there you dick
>Blondie just struts into the bathroom ahead of me and stands
there one hand on hip and a prim glare on her face.
>I'm wincing in pain as i limp over towards birthday at the
bathroom door again
>She's furious, i get close to her again
>"Atleast she's got cute boobs, unlike yours"
>Before she can even realize what i've said, i've slipped out of
her grasp as she grabs after me.
>I close the door behind me and lock it
>then i yell "LUMPY" right through it.
>The banging means its working

>I turn to face blondie
>I catch the corner of her mouth in a smile, she doesn't know
what i'm doing but she enjoyed the compliment.
>I guess hearing your boobs are nicer than another girl's is
pretty good
>I'm smiling, hopefully this won't turn out as bad as i hope it
doesn't.
>Who am i kidding, i'm doomed.
>Alright blondie do your worst
>She's still just standing there
>One hand on her hip , the other leaning on the counter
>She's kind of scary
>She's just got this half smile on and glaring daggers at me.
>Yep, i'm doomed.

>It's a good many minutes later now

>i think we're having a staring contest.
>I think i've blinked multiple times
>She's definitely winning, i'm not sure what we're doing but i
might as well try to start something
>I take a step towards her
>She takes a step back
>I take another step towards her
>She takes another step back
>She's still got the same expression on her face, i can't read
her at all.
>Hmm, i sure hope this isn't one of those parts where i have to
fight my evil female mirror clone.
>I continue the one step forward one step back routine with her
until she's backed her way into the large shower stall and
against the far wall.
>I take another step, she can't move, she doesn't move.
>Two more steps and i'm in the shower area with her
>She's not smiling anymore, well... she is but it's not a real
smile.
>It's a shallow sad smile, the kind of one you put on when you
realize something cool can't ever happen because the laws of
physics just don't want to cooperate.

>It's not a happy smile, i'm really not even sure why i got
closer to her if she's going to just look at me like that.
>I do take a couple steps closer though
>I'm within arms reach
>But i know better, i'm not going to initiate contact
>Instead i just put on a warmer smile than the one i was holding
>I guess i was giving a hurt smile, it made sense because her
reaction hurt, and my back hurt, and i was doing a bad job of
hiding both.
>We continue the staring contest from this position
>Eventually i get restless
>I take the safer route of building bridges and extend my hand,
beckoning for hers.
>She shakes her head, a prompt and swift back and forth.
>Her smile is gone, she holds the slightest pout after this
movement.
>I don't know what she wants from me.

>I ask the question, one word
>"Why?"
>I try to enforce as much intent and curiosity into it as
possible
>I try to make it seem as non threatening as i can
>It's another full minute, i just hold my hand outstretched
>I know this sounds cliche, like i'm asking the girl to join me
on a dance and i'll just stand there waiting for her to take my
hand.
>But let me break the bad news
>[spoiler]Your arms aren't really meant to be held stretched out
in front of you[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]When you see a character stretch out like that and hold
it for more than 30 seconds[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]His muscles are fucking BURNING[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]He's dying, he's hiding it on his face but his arm
feels like it's going to fall off.[/spoiler]

>After about a minute or two, i dropped my arm
>To her this probably looked like the invitation was over
>But to me, it felt like my arm was going to drop off
>Instead i switched to the other arm
>I can't even imagine how awkward this looked
>like on a list of giant fuckups that make you look like a
massive loser, one of them is not being able to hold your arm out
for serious extended periods of time to woo the ladies.
>[spoiler]i felt like an awkward fucking child extending that
other arm[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But my first arm really burned, and my back hurt, and
the music was too loud, and i just wanted to go home.[/spoiler]

>Extending the other arm got another shake of her head though, i
guess it was a reaction.
>I cautiously considered dropping the second arm and putting up
the first again, maybe i could get another shake?
>I'm weighing the odds involved with that idea when she finally
speaks.
>"It's alright, go sit down"
>w... what
>that mental thought must have broadcast across all female radio
waves, because she gets the question and doubles down.
>"I know your back hurts, go sit down."
>There's nothing but soft compassion in her voice, i'm completely
taken aback
>This was not the Blondie experience i had mentally prepared for
>Nor was it the one she wanted
>She was pulling one of those attention-seeking moments wasn't
she, i knew it.
>I wasn't going to let this go unchallenged, i wasn't going to
fall for it.
>"You were the one who asked for 15 minutes weren't you?"
>It's again genuinely curious and soft, i'm trying to keep from
threatening her in any way.
>The answer is fast, almost too fast, like it was on her mind the
entire time and she was just waiting for me to ask.
>"I don't deserve it"

>Well shit there's like a thousand things that could mean
>I know what it sounds like it means, but she's a girl remember,
it doesn't mean whatever you think it means.
>The first and most likely is that she's digging for compliments,
she's trying to trick me into feeding her a "No, of course you
deserve it"
>Of course this could be exactly what she doesn't want to hear
> She could genuinely think that she doesn't deserve to spend 15
minutes alone with me because she's guilty for hurting me.
>Or both of those could be completely wrong and she wants another
"Why", so that she can explain why she didn't deserve it and talk
about herself more.
>Which in itself could just be another plea for attention
>Even more likely still, she could just be feeling bad for me and
my back, and be lying and saying "She doesn't deserve it" to
convince me to sit down and stop hurting.
>whereas in reality she wants my company for 15 minutes just as
badly as the other girls did.
>That or she could just have not wanted to come in here in the
first place, is only doing it to screw with birthday for choking
her, and she doesn't want anything to do with me so she's making
sure i don't do anything.
>It comes to mind that my girl translator is in the shop and i
could really use it right now.

>I'm pretty sure all of those answers are a trap
>So i go with the safe option
>"Yes"
>There's one word for her facial expression
>Livid
>I knew i had made the right choice, all the others were traps
but not this one.
>I had simply agreed with her, no harm in that.
>That's how it works right? Always agree with women and they'll
love ya.
>Her teeth were slowly clenching
>Her eyes were boiling, i could see bubbles welling up
>I told you guys this was the perfect answer.

>I just let her stew a moment, i keep a calm peaceful smile on
the entire time.
>I've got to try really hard to keep the expression on my face
though, it's obvious she's going to try to murder me in mere
moments.
>As she prepares the final step of her assassination attempt,
bringing the scissors to the rope starting the rube-goldberg
machine of Storybro-doom.
>I stammer "I... i mean of course i don't deserve it!"
>Target hit, the fire in her eyes is dead on "I don't deserve it"
>I keep the ball rolling though, i've got to if i want to get out
of this alive
>"I mean it was incredibly kind of you to make it 15 minutes just
for the other girls"
>She was lost now, i hadn't just misheard her and agreed
>I had misheard, agreed and complimented her kindness, while
clearly stating she was being generous and superior to myself.
>I've got her stunned and confused, its time to throw the
pokeball
>"Thank you, i'll go sit down"
>I'm spamming the B button as i turn away slowly
>I feel her hand grab mine.
>You've captured, Blondie.
>[spoiler]Do you want to nickname your pokemon? Y/N[/spoiler]


>I turn back to face her
>She's got a cute little smile on now, mischievous, much better
than what she was wearing before.
>She's not looking me in the eyes though, she's just holding onto
my hand with both of hers
>My little blondie can't possibly be this cute
>[spoiler]For those of you who don't understand what happened,
the entire game is played with words, she wants you to play down
her path and she'll judge you as you go[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] the only way to win is follow her path perfectly the
way she wants you to (which is impossible) or make another path
that you can't lose.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]So i insulted her, redirected the insult at myself to
set her off guard, and then i complimented her in various ways,
and tried to take her advice and treat it as kindness[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Because her goal was never to actually have me sit
down, she stopped me[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Welcome to surviving women 101, enjoy your stay lonely
anons[/spoiler]
>"I'm sorry"
>"I didn't mean it"
>Man i sure hope she said those and not me.

>Don't worry, she said it.
>With those words, she's established she was still interested and
wasn't just doing it to spite the other women
>That in my book was no small victory, i was really out on a line
there.
>I take my victory and advance bravely forward, placing one hand
on her waist and pulling her two hands up along with my other.
>I drop one off on my right
>I drop one off on my left
>Why look at that miss, you've got your hands on the shoulders of
a strapping young lad.
>I place my other hand upon her waist and we start dancing to a
silent tune
>[spoiler]when i say dancing i mean we trip over one another's
feet and fall out of the shower the second i try to make us
dance[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]We were both white, i don't know what i was
expecting[/spoiler]

>Either way, we're outside the shower on the ground and it's all
giggles.
>[spoiler]Dancing isn't a thing you just know how to do, it takes
actual effort and serious practice to get it at all.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Specially dancing with a partner.[/spoiler]
>I proceed to tickle her, citing her lack of tickling earlier as
a negative that must be solved
>I've got my hands roaming where i want them, i even cop in a
couple of feels of her breasts through her blue bra
>Soft and squishy if you must ask
>I keep this up for a minute before she asks me to stop, and i
do.
>Because the one time stop always means stop is when you're
tickling someone.
>I mean you can keep going, but don't expect to like the results
anons.

>I take this as a hint to actually kiss her
>I take aim and fire
>I miss
>what
>how do you even miss kissing someone
>i try again
>She's dodging.
>I knew i wasn't that bad at kissing.
>Every time i come back up she's got her tongue out and is
taunting me
>Whatever, i'll go for a more stationary target
>I get her bellybutton
>RASPBERRY
>I get about three seconds into it and she's giggling and
squirming
>zeus i love making girls giggle, it's one of the best feelings
in the world
>Unless its blondie
>Then she just knees you in the chest

>It's not hard, but it's enough to hurt
>"Oww, i swear Blondie"
>I'm playfully growling now
>I mean everything hurts, anyway, a little more chest pain ain't
gonna make my back hurt any more or less
>Plus i expected it, i had my crotch not anywhere close to her
legs.
>I swear i'm learning
>She's giggling up a storm though, but manages to squeak out an
"I'm sorry!"
>I swear to god girl, next time i try to have my way with you,
i'm tying you up first.
>i tell her this, it's too good a thought to waste
>She turns the same color crimson as the bath towel on the rack
behind her
>Not just her cheeks, upper chest and all.

>Come to think of it, there's a pesky piece of clothing between
me and her that i'd love to remove.
>I pull her forward off the ground a bit, and reach behind her.
>Her eyes tell me she knows what i'm going to do, her smile tells
me it's ok.
>But her mouth itself, it tells me "No, Against the Rules"
>Well fuck the rules

>I place my fingers one above and to the left, one below and to
the right.
>I twist, just like i did earlier with Birthday
>I remove my hand thinking the deed was done
>Wait a second, it's still on her shoulders, there's no slack in
the line.
>"One second" I interrupt our intimate moment by flipping blondie
over and looking at her back.
>I need to know why i failed, why my troops returned empty
handed.
>Velcro, my mortal nemesis
>It's alright, i can see what i'm doing, i've got this
>I start fumbling with the clasp
>I'm holding her up with the other hand, velcro with one hand
isn't possible anons.
>There's a knock on the door
>Time's up.
>FUCK
>It's been 15 minutes already
>We wasted far too much time just doing nothing ):

>I get up and lift blondie to her feet
>She's a little tussled
> i sort out her hair so it's not a mess and toss her a comb to
fix the rest,
>I'm obviously taking too long because the banging at the door is
telling me birthday thinks we're cheating
>We open it
>Birthday is mad
>She's mad at me, she's mad we locked the door, she's mad at
everything
>I just take my fingers and draw perfectly round circles in the
air while looking at her.
>I then crabtunnel my way out of her reach and across the room
>It's the changing of the guard again Blondie for homely.
>However unlike glasses, blondie gives me a public kiss of
affection on the cheek as she leaves, plain for everyone to see.
>Territory marked i guess
>Homely doesn't seem phased, she's cool and collected, a smile on
her face.
>I really don't like her smile

>I couldn't help it though, i needed to use her as a wall between
me and birthday to get into the bathroom.
>I hugged Homely the entire way across, making sure she was
always between me and birthday
>i really hoped homely was willing to cooperate with my dangerous
plan
>only one way to find out
>when we get past the Birthday demon guarding the gate to the
forbidden realm...
>I shout
>"Bigger is always better!"
>and i grab a fistful of Homely's breasts through her shirt and
wink at birthday.
>It takes both of us to slam the door closed and get it locked
>Thank god homely was on board, that poor girl outside was ready
to explode.
>She was having the best birthday ever.

>On second thought, i've just locked myself inside this bathroom
with homely
>For 15 minutes
>It can't be that bad
>I'm atleast SL130
>i got this
>I retreat backwards to the middle of the room
>I take a bow
>I step forward slightly with arms outstretched and ask "Well!
what is it?"
>She seems unfazed, i'm worried she knows something i don't.
>"Take off your pants"
>...
>....
>[spoiler]Its a hacker, i've already lost[/spoiler]

>"R... rules?"
>This comes out as an awful high pitched voice-cracking question
>"They only apply to me, not you."
>The level of confidence in her tone of voice is astounding,
she's completely serious
>She's had 30+ minutes to think about this
>Why didn't i think this was a threat
>I don't know how to escape this
>In terms of actual thought processes they all shut down
>I just kind of shut up and take off my pants
>I've got those girl's light blue boxers underneath
>My brain turns back on in time to realize this is the last
female i want to be undressing in a bathroom with.
>I retort with the best i can think of at the time, which is
trying to embarrass her into inaction.
>"Alright, your turn"
>I keep a straight face the entire time
>She just shakes her head and says "Nope"
>Haha, i win!
>"You get to do it."

>...
>I'm not getting out of this alive.
>This is what i get for trying to help birthday and using homely
as a prop
>I asked for this
>*shrug*
>Plan C?
>I pretend that i'm alright with her plan and walk forward a
couple steps before doubling over in pain.
>My back doesn't hurt that much anymore, but she doesn't know
that
>I take a knee, and feign excruciating pain
>"She's not having any of that either, before i even realize
what's going on she's calling me a "Poor baby" and shoving one of
her bare breasts in my face.
>"Suck this, mommy will make this all better"
>Hold the fuck on
>This isn't even hot
>This is like some shitty dialogue from an awful hentai
>I'm pretty sure that's where she's learned this, i can't
comprehend the thought processes she's having.
>Who does something like this
>I fall back onto my hands and butt and i'm physically trying to
lean as far away from her as possible
>I have one question on my mind
>"Why are you doing this?"
>I am worried, not just for myself, but for whatever Apollo
forsaken reason she's coming onto me like this.
>She has one answer
>"Because the other girls won't"

>Hold the fuck on homely
>That's not how it works
>I know exactly what she's doing and i would be an absolutely
horrible person if i let it go through
>[spoiler]As i've said before, homely has an absolutely awful
personality, and although she's moderately attractive, i can't
stand her, nor do i like her body type.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]She backstabs others constantly, belittles
insignificant flaws in friends and is just generally a horrible
spoilsport.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]She's not the best looking and she has an awful
personality, so she's a very ugly person overall[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]As a result, she gets very little attention from males,
to the extent at which she's found very few ways to express
herself properly to attract the attention of them[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Earlier in the sleepover she was aggressive, but rather
tame, i showed her no affections and her attempts to earn them
failed[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] But she begins acting lewd and she gets my attention,
notice the pattern[/spoiler]

>Through me entirely, she's learned that the way to stand out
from the group and get attention is to act more or less a total
slut.
>She's got no redeeming qualities otherwise
>She's trying to compete with all the other girls strictly on the
field of sex
>While ignoring the fact that every single one offers me
something more.
>She's acting this way entirely from things she's watched, she
has no clue what she's actually doing besides seeking attention.
>I might hate homely, but i would be an absolutely shit person if
i threw her to the ground and fucked her brains out right here.
>Was the penis willing? Of course, but the guilt would kill me
afterwards.
>That's shamelessly reinforcing a whore's mentality for a
lifetime, just to get my dick wet once.
>[spoiler]The sad part is that many anons would just do it, i
guess it's your choice, but i couldn't[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]This is every camwhore thread on /b/, most male/female
threads on soc, and various other examples in every other place
you can imagine[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Why do you think they show tits? cock? Because they
feel they have nothing going for them but sex appeal[/spoiler]

>Mind you this was not a light decision
>If you could quantify the force my penis was exacting upon my
mental capabilities it would be counteracting huge swaths of
logic.
>My crotch was actually creating anti-gravity fields, lifting me
off my feet and dragging me across the room towards her.
>The mere fact this happens in males is my one biggest hatred of
us as a species, but its something i can't fix.

>Somehow i managed to come to the above conclusion while hovering
across the room
>When i looked up, Homely was untying the knot in her pants

>"Storybro" - This was her saying my full name
>She had a searching look in her eyes, i knew she wanted me to
look at her.
>She waited until my eyes were drawn to where her hands were,
slipped lightly into the waistband of both sides of her pants.
>She started sliding them down
>I saw her lower navel, the V crease that all women had just
started to appear
>"Stop"
>I don't know how i said it, my heart was beating a thousand
miles a minute
>I was so ready to just let go of logic and go for it, but that
little voice on the inside was screaming otherwise.
>He's the guy who reminds you that you have standards for a
reason, that you'll fuck anything but standards let you live with
yourself in the morning.
>I would regret this, long before it was morning again.
>So i just blurted it out
>"Give me a reason, and i will"

>She pauses everything, all motion
>I can see her thoughts flowing back and forth
>"Don't you want to?"
>She said it in the most teasing way possible.
>Its the question i dreaded
>Gods yes woman i want to
>But it would be empty, meaningless
>"It needs to be special"
>Those were the words i picked, the ones that mixed everything i
could into a package as easy to understand as i could
>I knew i was being a hypocritical fuck, if this was any of the
other girls i would take them without even asking that question.
>But i could safely say each one of them was different, and had
more to offer me than sex.
>That was the difference.

>"Aren't i special?"
>That's not what i mean woman and you know it
>My penis and you are making this far more difficult than it
needs to be.
>"If we have sex, what else will we give to one another besides
sex?"
>I'm pretty sure it came as some sort of heckling, trying to
demand more out of the deal
>I felt really bad, but i tried to pretend it was easy enough to
understand.
>"We could do it as much as you want~"
>hnnnnnnggggg
>Lord Ares, grant me strength to overcome
>"It needs to MEAN something, ANYTHING"
>In my mind i'm trying to rationalize and agree with everything
i'm saying
>It's like the very fibers of my mind are losing tautness

>"I don't want to just have empty sex with you"
>I'm actually struggling to get these words out now
>I'm making exceptions, i just gave her a reason to come back
later whenever she figured out what empty means.
>I'm losing faith in my ability to resist, i'm not going to last
any longer in here.
>I've got one backup
>Plan F
>I force myself to look away from homely and i step into the
shower
>Turn the tap all the way to cold and stand under the showerhead

>Its freezing, but i stand there for atleast a full minute and
endure the cold
>I finally turn it off and step out, homely is still standing
where i left her, but she seems to have her clothes back in
order.
>Her breasts are no longer showing and her pants are pulled up
and properly tied.
>I'm freezing
>I've got goosebumps all over and i'm shivering endlessly
>I grab a towel, wrap it around myself and sit down on the toilet
to try to regain some senses in my skin
>I stare over at homely again, she seems to be back to her sassy
attitude
>I can tell because her hands are on her hips again
>"Just tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it"
>This isn't a pleasing seductive tone, she's being bossy.
>I can even sense a generally large heaping of angry in her voice
>I guess that's what i get when i turn down sex and tell her
she's not making it special.

>"Listen there's probably a reason i could like you, i just
haven't found it yet"
>I'm being brutally honest
>This isn't going to end well
>"I need to find it first, alright?"
>She seems actually to accept this response
>I'm not going to pretend to know what was going on in her head
>I've probably escaped with my life, somehow navigated the
minefield.
>[spoiler]I'm sorry anons, the conversation you're reading here
about the bathroom is just an approximation of what i kinda
remember[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]i can't remember anything but the intentions and
eventual conclusions of this event, just zero recall.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]so if the dialogue sounds like a shitty fanfic, that's
because i can't fucking remember what anyone said, and i think
it's because i had a raging boner the entire time[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The moral and premise are there though, i don't fuck
homely because there's no point besides sex, and i don't want
that[/spoiler]

>I just end up sitting there shivering for another 3-4 minutes.
>Homely doesn't do anything, really we've passed the point of
anything and just joined the awkward wait for it to end.
>Eventually there's a knock and we unlock the door and leave
>Well homely leaves
>I'm hiding in the shower, i know i'm going to get attacked by
birthday
>But i can't see her, so i don't know where she is
>I do see as all the way across the room homely has left the
master bedroom
>I make a run for it
>I exit the bathroom ready to dodge to the left
>Birthday is on my left
>I don't have a plan for this, i duck and roll
>this hurts like hell
>i'm up, i jump, land on the master bed and do atleast four
frontflips
>I then land in front of the door to the amazement of Blondie and
glasses standing there
>Haha! i've succeeded
>I slam the door in their faces and lock it

>Time to wrestle the bull
>I must have looked hilarious to Birthday from across the room or
the girls in the hall.
>Ran out of the bathroom wet and wearing only a freezing pair of
soaking underwear.
>Flew across the room and closed the door, locking myself inside
with her.
>But she wasn't down for hilarity
>She was about as angry as i could have got her
>I've got the bed between me and her, so i move around the room
until its just me and the birthday girl.
>She's got fire in her eyes, every time she breathes she gives
off steam, even her shoulders are hunched.
>All her body language screams her being furious at me.
>She runs at me head first
>Hits me right in the stomach
>This kinda hurts
>I go down
>she goes down on top of me.
>Next come her fists.

>She tries to reign in a flurry of blows on my face
>But punches aren't hard when they're coming from people who
don't know how to fight and are much lighter than you.
>I had brothers, i knew how to win.
>I just grab her forearms and hold them outstretched
>This means she's got nothing holding her up above me, and she
falls flat to my chest, her head beside mine.
>Now for the plan
>Well... it wasn't much of a plan
>i'm pretty sure it would either work, or i wouldn't be able to
work anymore.
>I whisper in her ear

>"Ello Love"
>I put on my smoothest british accent for this, gotta play the
part.
>Her response was a gruff and angry "Let go of me"
>Not what i wanted, but i could improvise.

>"What-cha thinkin bout?"
>I make sure i put emphasis on every syllable
>Her response was quick and to the point, with the same gruff
voice as earlier
>"Hurting you."

>Perfect
>"What about when i was in the bathroom with Glasses?" - Me
>"That you were a jerk, i hated what you said"
>"Blondie"
>"they're not LUMPY you asshole!"
>"Homely?"
>"I was just imagining how i could punch your smug little face to
make it collapse just right"
>There was an interesting amount of glee in the last comment
>I take the chance to roll her over, we end up me on top holding
her forearms down still and staring her down.
>She struggles a bit but can't move
>Her eyes are still radiating cold heat like a viper just waiting
to strike


>She's staring at me silently, knows i'm thinking something but
she can't see what yet
>I had her fuming at me for nearly 50 minutes straight, edging
and fanning the flames every chance i could get.
>She was absolutely furious, to the point at which every thought
had to do with punching me in the face or on how much of an
asshole i was being
>This was a bad mistake initially, but halfway through the back
massage i had realized how useful it could be.
>You see the girls had done the mean thing, they had set Birthday
up in a situation where all she could do was listen to neotare
bullshit and get jealous.
>But she wasn't jealous
>She was angry at me
>Instead of tearing her heart into pieces every time she heard a
giggle or moan from the bathroom, she wasn't listening, she just
wanted to punch me more.
>This girl's heart was boiling, not broken three times over.

>Atleast i hoped that's what was going on
>It made more sense in my head, but in my head was where i was at
the time trying to make it all fit together like a puzzle.
>I figured cooling her off was easier than putting her back
together again
>So i asked her a question i knew would throw her off my trail
>Give her a chance to drop a little of the anger.
>I asked if she wanted to take her turn now, or later.
>She gave me multiple looks, Hatred, a smile, and then she openly
questioned if i was fucking with her.
>The door was locked
>She had fifteen minutes if she wanted it.
>"Now"

>It started off great, i had her pinned so i stole a kiss
>or two
>or three
>I'm not sure at exactly how long one kiss becomes multiple
kisses, but let me assure you it was plenty of them.
>Her eyes were burning, the flames were still there from earlier
>But she was kissing me back
>Hot
>It didn't take long for one of my hands to start roaming
>Upper shoulder
>The smooth shape of her collarbone
>The foothills of her upper chest
>IT didn't take long for her to realize her arm was free and hook
me in the right shoulder with a hard jab either

>I rolled off of her clutching it
>Her advantage
>She was on top now
>She straightens herself up and straddles me properly, skirt
flowing off to the sides
>Between my boxers and her panties, there were very thin layers
of cloth separating us
>She reminds me of this with a long firm grind, once top to
bottom
>She repositions again and bounces... once... twice... three
times
>My hardness against her softness
>It's a lovely sensation, it's hot, my underwear is soaking wet,
and it's the perfect amount of pressure to make my penis feel
loved.

>But she was still wearing a tad too many articles of clothing
for my taste.

>I whisper this to her
>The response
>"Pick Two"
>I thrust against her softly at this revelation and move up to
meet her in another kiss
>Of course the kiss has a secret motive
>Good ol righty sneaks around the back and lowers the drawbridge
>Two fingers, good as a snap and the bra is unhooked
>Not-velcro, that's the best kind.
>In moments the bra's off, i've unleashed the beasts.
>I move one hand to her right breast
>It's warm, soft like a bag of pudding and absolutely impossible
not to play with.
>[spoiler]I think i've made this comparison already[/spoiler]

>I end up tweaking her nipple softly as i return to kissing her
>We're playing tug of war with our tongues, there's no friction,
no line in the sand, but the grappling and pulling is all there.
>she's moved on to tasting like an apple tart without sugar,
bitter but slightly sweet
>I continue the kiss until i decide it's my turn to be on top
again
>I pull back, and push forward again and get a grip on her
shoulder with my teeth
>I bite
>she falls back
>I'm on-top, she's got her legs open and i'm between them
>I'm still nestling myself against her, it's heavenly
>I let her know how much i'm enjoying it with a thrust
>Even though its just cloth on cloth, she gasps
>I give her another
>and another
>Her mouth stopped closing
>Her breath is always ragged.


>I force her fully onto her back, grab both her legs and squeeze
them together infront of me.
>This puts her bum in tantalizing view, but i've got other plans.
>I grab the hem of her underwear and slowly slide it off
>She can keep the skirt
>I roll it up and off her upright legs and toss it to the side
>I don't even look down, i know she's mine for as many minutes as
the lock holds.
>I spread her legs and lean back in for another kiss
>She locks ankles behind me and squeezes her thighs
>I'm forced roughly against her, boxers barely containing the
sensation.
>It feels absolutely astounding, a warmth is seeping through the
underwear that wasn't present before
>i'm in heaven, really

>I lean backwards and start to take off my boxers and i'm looking
around for where the parents probably keep the condoms.
>I find her hand on mine
>She's stopping me
>I'm confused
>I look up at her
>There's a strange sadness in her eyes, i don't understand one
bit
>"We can't"
>w... what wait a second hold on , "let me go get a condom it'll
be fine"
>She shakes her head
>I THOUGHT THE COLD WAR WAS OVER