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 The horse I never rode, or, the rabbit hole.

   I haven't been a smart person in my life in general; above average,
sure. So let me tell you about the horse I never rode, and what horse is,
if you don't know.  This text will probably be taken down, not by me but by
the internet so download it quick - or maybe others are too chicken shit to
leave the truth up for very long after things are posted, you decide.

   Horse is another word for heroin, or opiates.  You'll never look at the
phrase get back up on that horse the same ever again.  It started to be
known as a Dutch disease.  Lewis Black had a famous joke about how a woman
loves horses and how it helped her get through that year of college.  He
was forced to add the line "giddeyup" because it offends the censors.  His
joke ends with "and then they find you dead in your bathtub" for good
reason.  Like many opiates, they not only increase fertility and likely
cognition and life expectancy, but they also increase your blood pressure.
There is a reason why diseased males that cannot conceive find a temporary
boost to fertility in iodated poppy seed oil.  There's a reason men in porn
shoot farther than most males would, and it's not because they're in pain,
it's the drugs.

   So let me tell you what happens after you come off horse.  You come
unexpectedly, even at things that are disgusting.  This is important to
remember for the rest of this text, because this is what happened to me. 
Loud obnoxious assholes talking about BABY this and BABY that.  I once hit
a radio station that literally just said baby over and over, far worse than
bieber ever could.  Then there was my spam mail which is its own story. 
The woman in Walmart emphasizing the word baby, and "for relief go to aisle
x" which, when I arrived, was a family with an infant.  I'll be truthful. I
didn't come.  I was too annoyed that this shit was happening and seriously
who cums at the sight of a child? ...  Well...  The darknet people will. 
Australian guy smiles for the camera after he's picked up and in orange. 
And then there's the ballet that started up across the street from me.  Oh
yeah, its good times when you feel harassed by the system for being an
addict and a pedophile which you're not.  See, everywhere you go you get
harassed and intimidated by your superiors, getting booted from your family
life, your social network, all because some asshole wants to see you
squirm, based on lies that SOMEONE made up about you.

   So at one time, I told someone I was an addict.  I was not addicted to
anything but love and affection, and most would call me a neutered human
for wanting that.  In my desire to be loved by god, by man, I did as the
bible said, to the best of my ability.  This view wasn't popular.  Maybe
they were all horse cock addicts.  That phrase can be taken more than one
way - pay attention.  So at one time, at an interesting internet event, I
was told I could have money or love, that I could not have both, and that
love is for the weak and for the slaves.  Maybe they're right.  Once you
have trillions, what is love but unnecessary support, right?

   So I was told what would happen to me.  I went in for a routine checkup
of my stomach, and the doctor went down my throat with a scope to take
samples.  I could not see the entirety of the scope, as there was a time it
was placed in an open wound and nothing could be discerned.  I later found
out that there is a device that dissolves subdermally to help recovering
drug addicts kick heroin, and lasts for up to six months.  It was after
this procedure that my nose started to bleed profusely, more than I've ever
seen.  Kinda reminds me of that Theory of a Deadman song entitled "Blow".
It was after this that I had major trouble sleeping and asked for sleep
aids from a doctor - I said I'm really stressed and just need to sleep. 
Insomnia is also a symptom of opiates.  He gave them to me, but the
benzodiazepines didn't really work.  A few months later I went into the
hospital with a suspected psychotic break, an episode.  I said I had been
drugged, but nobody listened.  Then the intense ringing in the ears
started, and the pain came back full force.  I suspect that this is due to
the fentanyl or opiate-similar product in that subdermal.  In fact, I told
my doctor about the pain in my side and he replied " what do you want me to
do?" I was too fucked up to get angry.  I could barely focus and do simple
tasks on my own let alone take a paper to the receptionist that is now
closed so I could get an appointment to find out what is wrong, and I
stupidly got an ultrasound done first, before the stomach biopsy. 
Interestingly enough, endoscopy equipment has in times past been stolen
from hospitals and sold on the black market.  I wonder why.  You know,
that's a great way to keep your slaves in line without leaving any marks.
Imagine faking an illness and some pretty young thing gets "sick" so it is
"investigated", and a few months later you have a nympho on chaturbate, and
she keeps taking her "medication" that the doctors give her on and off
which only continues the washout cycle, which leads to more chaturbate. 
Makes sense to me!  I need my medication that cuts out the effect of
opiates doc, I love the sex dreams!

   Great darknet material too, if they're old enough to be drugged,
wouldn't you say?  Let's be reasonable here.  We live in a society where we
cut our women's soft bits off, as well as man's bits, and we call it "
clean".  We're not beyond doing this to our own people.  Just look at the
slums of Russia.  Or perhaps the very real darknet hobo roundups, fuckings,
and beheadings?  If we love to see terrorists beheaded maybe we should
consider what they're fighting for.  Everyone is to blame.

   So over six months go by and I am saying I feel drugged.  I developed
tinnitus and could hear a gnat land ten feet away.  Light sensitivity,
sound sensitivity and yes, increased sexual drive.  It was all I could
think about - that and what was wrong with me.  So one hospital elects to
fully drug test me and everything shows up negative.  To be fair I doubt
opiods like fentanyl or carfentanyl are in high enough concentrations to be
found in serum.  Only a grain of sand of carfentanyl will get you super
high.  And if it was an opiate antagonist that was given me, nobody would
check for that.

   And all I could do was act like an autist, because really that is all I
could do.  My memory was shot to hell, my brain wouldn't stop, and I
couldn't sit still.  Therapists called me "inappropriate" as if I did
something wrong, when I did nothing wrong.

   Pretty girls as well as big dicked males are getting drugged against
their will and all you can do is sit behind your computer and jack off, or
Jill off.  There's a reason men on average die before females and it's
because they release more stem cells and generally work harder due to their
strength than females.  There's a reason big dicked black men die faster
than pretty much every other race of people, and there's a reason why
Africa is a dying and diseased, warlike continent.  But we're no better
than the weakest link, the weakest human.

   While you're a mindless cum machine for other people's entertainment,
the captains of industry are also milking your wallet, your brains, and
your sensibilities and maybe it's because you can't stop.  Drugs get found
in food as well as viruses and bacteria, which now can be weaponised to
change your biological makeup, and all you can do is keep eating, keep
trusting in a world that doesn't believe in god, and certainly doesn't
believe in the power of humans on a collective scale to enact change.  So
continue to bow to your gods while rejecting your own divinity, and enjoy
the death that awaits for the faithful, like so many before you.  Your fear
will kill you before any wars ever start, but don't tell anyone they're
just paranoid.  Saying that is effectively your brain's way of rejecting
someone else's reality that has yet to be proven, and any psychosis is only
such until others believe it.  Accept that most things on the internet are
true and that there is just interpretive lenses you have not yet looked
through.  Fake news is only fake because the stories are combined or
jumbled, not because they are untrue.  Learn this fact and you will discern
much truth on your internet journey.  If you reject one bit of data you
collect on your internet journey it will harm your growth, so try to
remember it all; it'll come in handy later.

   So that's the horse I never rode, well, officially anyway.  Must be fake
news.  Happy withdrawal symptoms for all and to all a jolly good night!