Pareto Efficient Child Sex

I sat in my room and stared at the wall. It was the start of December when Christmas was on everyone’s mind. My parents didn’t believe in vacation or Christmas, so I was in my room all alone trying to keep absolutely still so that no noise could disrupt the sound I heard from outside--the sound of neighborhood children laughing and playing on the streets. There were many kids in my neighborhood. I loved listening to the sound of children. I could have gone outside and looked at these children, but I didn’t want anyone to see me staring at children lest they label me a pedophile. I've been watching children in the neighborhood for about two years, so there were some I grew to like more than others. There was one girl I’d seen, a very pretty little girl, whose name I didn’t know. I've been spying on her for so long now that I've memorized her daily movements. I knew what path she took to school, from school, and where she played.

I don’t know how I became a pedophile. Sometimes I try to explain it to myself, but unfortunately it’s one of those things I can feel but cannot explain. All I know is that for a while I never really cared about children, and then one day when I discovered on the Internet stories about little children having sex, all of a sudden I kept thinking about what it would feel like to have sex with a child. I think I've always been a pedophile, but the discovery of child porn literature later in life awakened in me my pedophile instincts.

I suspect I might be gay as well, or at least bisexual. I often wonder what it’s like to have a penis in my mouth. I wonder what it would feel like, what it would smell like, and how it would taste. I have a vague idea based on the smell and feel of my own penis, but it’s being able to taste someone else’s penis that interested me. Even though I have an attraction for little boys that I cannot explain, I still find little girls more appealing. I don't like little boys because they are boys. I like them because they're little.

I’m eighteen now. I recently graduated from high school but I still live with my parents. I’m in the process of applying for universities, but I’m anxious about whether certain colleges will accept or reject me, so I prefer not to think about that issue. Being a grown-up is so scary. There’s so much to do, so much to worry about. I would do anything to be a child again.

My name’s Philip. Today I’m at home surfing the Internet. There’s so much on the Internet. It seems like something is happening online all the time. I’ve had the Internet for about five years now. I told my parents I wanted an Internet connection to study, but that was just an excuse to look at porn. I became interested in porn ever since one of my friends at school showed me porn he had printed out on his home computer. I can never forget the first time I saw pornography. For the rest of the day I could not think of anything but the image I saw and I knew after my first taste of sex that I had to get another fix or I would not be able to handle the cravings. The Internet gave me a way that I could not only satisfy my demand for pornography but also my demand for social interaction. I liked talking to other people on the Internet, mainly in chat rooms and on message boards.

On the Internet, I often switch from one obsession to another. One year I’m interested in Harry Potter and then the next year I’m interested in computer games. I go to one online community, get to now everyone there, get sick of them, and then move on to another online community. My latest obsession is with all the pedophile stories I’ve found online. I go to the sites and download as many stories as possible, making a mental note to myself to read them all later. Just the thought of having copies on my hard disk keeps me satisfied. Not only do I read these pedophile stories but I also rate them. I put all my favorite stories in one folder. I catalogue them according to genre and personal rating.

I don't have any child porn images because they're illegal. I have always had an aversion to illegal activity, even if it's minor things like jaywalking. My parents jaywalk, my teachers jaywalk, but I never jaywalk. Even though child porn is illegal, there are a number of legal ways a pedophile like me can be satisfied. I've already mentioned the child sex literature on the Internet, but there many videos and images on the Internet related to children. Even if the images or videos of children are not sexual in nature, they can easily turn me on. Sometimes I randomly mix in a folder mainstream porn pictures with pictures of children before viewing a slideshow. As I watch the slideshow, the mainstream porn pictures make me sexually excited as I masturbate and the pictures of children intensify the excitement.

I spend hours surfing video and image sites collecting pictures of children. Most of the time parents upload pictures of their children because they are proud of them and want to show them off to the world. Sometimes, in the case of child actors, parents are motivated my money. Either way, I am grateful for every picture or video I collect.

----

Feeling the pangs of hunger in my belly, I put the computer on standby and went downstairs to get some food. I was home alone. It was 12 noon. I often woke up this late when I had nothing to do, no school, no work, no nothing. There’s so much light outside. I grabbed a microwave hamburger from the freezer, heated it up, and went back to my bedroom upstairs.

Now that high school was over I spent a lot of time by myself in my bedroom upstairs. I’m glad my parents allowed me to keep a computer in my room as well as allowing me to buy a lock for the door. This comes in handy whenever I wanted to masturbate. I’ve been masturbating for about eight years now and I don’t think my parents know anything. My parents never talk to me about sex. Whenever one of my parents tried to bring up the topic of sex, usually with a timid introductory topic like the topic of girlfriends, the discussion usually ends quickly because of how awkward we feel. I think every family has a unique culture. Some families are more conservative while others are more liberal. The topic of sex has never been brought up in our family, and any mention of it makes everyone nervous. I do, however, suspect that maybe my mom knows I masturbate. I usually masturbate in bed at night, and when I’m done I usually just leave the semen on my penis and pull up my underwear and pajama pants. As a result my underwear usually has semen stains. Even after washing, these semen stains don’t come off easily. Surely my mom has noticed.

I’m a loner. It’s not something I like to admit to myself or anyone else, but it’s something I cannot deny. I used to have friends in high school, but ever since high school finished I never had the motivation to keep my old friendships going. If I’m not forced to see people regularly for a long time there is little chance I’ll remain friends with them. I tried to make friends over the Internet but that never worked. It’s just not the same.

Every day is just the same for me. I wake up late, eat lunch, and go porn surfing. At three in the afternoon I’d look out the window to watch a little girl walk by. Then I’d do more porn surfing, eat dinner, maybe watch a bit of TV at night, and then I went back to sleep, only to wake up late tomorrow and repeat the process. Sometimes, at night, I’d sit in bed and think about everything. It’s so quiet at night. During the day I often feel like I want to be where all the action is, but at night it seems as if there is no action anywhere, so I focus on myself because, since I feel like I’m the only conscious being on Earth, I am the center of action. Both my parents work, so throughout the day I’m very alone.

Although I take great pleasure in seeing videos of females being raped and reading stories about little boys and girls in pain, I don’t consider myself a bad person. I feel as if I’m a genuine guy. Sometimes I’m able to do what I tell myself to do. This is when I have self-control. But other times what I do is controlled not by what I tell myself to do but by how I feel. For example, while masturbating, at the peak of sexual excitement, I’ve done many weird things like stick my middle finger in my anus and then put this feces-stained finger in my mouth. Sucking on my feces-stained finger while masturbating makes me more sexually excited. But this sexual excitement is short-term. After I ejaculate, I run into the bathroom and wash my mouth out, especially if I had just munched on a big chunk of poo. This may be how it is with my pedophile instincts. There is another force within me over which I have no control. Sexual excitement may motivate me to eat my poo, but after my sex drive has subsided, disgust sets in. Similarly, sexual excitement may motivate me to rape, but after my sex drive has subsided, perhaps guilt and regret would set in.

I used to have so many friends when I was little. I had male and female friends. Whenever I think back to my childhood my memories are filled with warmth and happiness, which contrasts against how plain, sterile, and humorless my life seems at the moment.

I know for a fact that my attraction to children is not exclusively sexual because I gain so much satisfaction just looking at fully clothed children. I smile when I see a child being a child. It warms my heart whenever I hear the melodic babbling of a little girl. Women in public always smile at children, but I never smile at children in public because I’m afraid. In private I would love to play with a child, but in public I suppress such urges. I stare at children in public but when they approach me I usually freeze.

----

I looked at my watch. It was three o’clock. I stopped looking at the computer monitor and walked all the way to the bedroom window, which looked over a park next door. I always observed the park at three in the afternoon because usually at this time my favorite little girl would walk down the path in the park by herself. She was a cute little girl, about seven or eight years of age. She had long blonde-brown hair and was about three-point-five feet tall.

Right on schedule I saw her walking along the path near my fence. She walked slowly but that was because her legs were short. She wasn’t a focused walker. Often she was easily amused by things along the path. About a week ago when I spied on her, she found a raccoon and started playing with it for about ten to fifteen minutes before carrying it away with her.

For about three days now I’ve thought about meeting her, intercepting her along her walking path and then, I don’t know…talk to her, I guess. I’d love to rape her, just like in the stories I read online, but I was scared of the consequences. I was also worried about hurting the precious little girl. I wish I could rape her and then turn back time so she wouldn’t know she was raped.

Since she seemed to like animals a lot, maybe I could introduce her to a cat. Problem is I don’t have a cat. I wanted one when I was little, but my parents don’t like pets. Perhaps I could go to the pet store one day and buy a cat. But maybe she liked dogs better.

----

Dad came home at five. (Mom usually finished much later since she was a CEO.) He was cooking a microwave burger when I came downstairs to the kitchen and asked him if I could go to the mall.

“Why do you want to go to the mall?” Dad asked. “You want to see that new Steven Spielberg movie?”

“No, Dad, I was thinking…how about we get a kitten?”

Dad smiled. “You know what your mom thinks about cats.”

My mom hated cats. That was why I was speaking to my dad. He was more open to such things.

“I’ll tell you what.” Dad took out his burger from the microwave. “I’ll buy you a cat, Phil, but only if you promise not to let it defecate all over the house. Make sure you potty train it well.”

----

When I woke up at one p.m. on Monday, I felt something scratching on my leg. I flinched violently before realizing that Dad had bought me a little kitten yesterday. I slept with the kitten but didn’t have sex with it or anything. The kitten was a male, so it had a penis, and its anus was far too small for sexual penetration. The thought of sucking on the cat’s penis didn’t sound too attractive because of the fear of getting hair in my mouth. I did, however, rub against the kitten last night, and I enjoyed having a warm-blooded, living, breathing creature caressed on my erect penis as I lied in bed. Last night was also pleasant because I didn’t feel as alone as I usually did at night.

The cat’s name is Elron. That’s the spelling I had engraved on the kitty’s collar even though the proper spelling was “L. Ron” because the kitty’s previous owner was a devout Scientologist. The owner didn’t castrate his cats, so one day one of them came back pregnant, and when the babies came out there were too many of them for the owner to handle, so off to the pet store they went.

I chose Elron out of all the other cats on display because he had nice soft and blunt teeth. The other cats at the pet shop had scary vampire-like fangs. If I was going to sleep with my kitty I didn’t want his teeth puncturing my penis.

Right after I woke up I had a shower and went online for about half an hour, reading the news to see what was going on. Nothing much was happening. Feeling my stomach rumbling like there was an animal in there, I went downstairs to get something to eat. I found in the freezer some Coco Pops and Coke, a perfect breakfast combination. When I walked back to the kitchen table with the cereal, milk, and soft drink, I saw a box--a plain and ordinary box on the kitchen table with a note near it. I read it: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHILIP. HOPE YOU LIKE THE PRESENT. FROM MOM AND DAD.

Today was my birthday. I had totally forgotten. Some of my high school friends were surprised at how often I forgot my birthday, but I just don’t see what’s so special about birthdays. After all, it’s just another day.

Inside the box was a baseball, a baseball bat, and some baseball gloves. I wasn’t a huge fan of baseball or anything, but I didn’t mind it. Baseball and soccer were the only two sports I was really any good at, and my parents knew this. But just because I was good at baseball and soccer it doesn’t mean I liked them. There was no chance I’d become a professional athlete. Even though these people do get paid a lot, I don’t think I have the energy to become a well-paid sports star.

After changing out of my pajamas, I ran outside to the backyard and went straight for the fence, over which I threw the baseball bat and ball. I grabbed my kitten and dropped him over the fence, optimistic that he’d be okay because of the widely known idea that cats always land on their feet. I then climbed over the fence and entered the park next door.

I loved living next to a park. Throughout my childhood I played at the park very often. There were playgrounds at the park, and one of the things I remember was when I played hide-and-seek with a bunch of the neighborhood kids. This park was not an ordinary park--it was like a massive boutique garden, filled with hundreds of species of plants and trees. There were green hills where people took picnics, and ponds where little ducklings lived, ducklings that people often liked to feed.

As it turned out, I was pretty disappointed with Elron. He didn’t fetch the ball like I hoped he would when I hit it far away. I suddenly remembered that dogs liked to fetch balls or sticks, not cats. Elron’s mouth was far too small to fit a baseball. The kitten just walked around and, after a while, decided to sleep under the sun.

I spent about twenty minutes hitting the ball straight up into the air and then hitting it back up again as it came back down. I tried to see how many times I could hit the ball back into the air before it eventually hit the grass. My record was thirty-four. Interestingly, it’s surprisingly hard to hit a baseball right up into the air.

After five more minutes I gave up trying to beat my record of thirty-four. Looking up at the sky all the time made my eyes feel tired because of how exposed they were to sunlight.

I walked back to the house. Elron followed me.

When I got to the fence I threw the baseball and the baseball bat over the fence. I heard the bat thumping on the grass on the other side. I turned around to do the same to Elron (throw him over) only to realize that Elron was with that little girl who walked by this path at three o’clock every weekday. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was five past three.

The little girl was kneeling down to the kitten and, with her smooth arms extended, she stroked Elron’s back.

I walked up to the little girl. “Elron likes playing baseball,” I said, watching the little girl’s face turn towards me.

“Is it your cat?” she asked me in a soft voice. “Is her name Elron?”

“His name,” I said. “It’s a boy kitten.”

“Why do you call him Elron?”

“His previous owner was a Scientologist.”

I could tell from her silence and her subtle eye movements that she had no idea what I was talking about.

“My name’s Philip,” I said. “What’s yours?”

“Katie.”

Katie stopped stroking the kitty. I had been kneeling down to her level, but now I had my butt on the dirt. It was soft and moist dirt, and after a while Katie sat down opposite me. With her fingers she fiddled with the ends of her hair, which were about a foot long. She wore a checkered yellow and white dress, which looked so beautiful because it complemented her dark blondish hair. She looked like a sunflower, so bright and radiant.

“Do you live around here?” I asked.

“I live over there.” She pointed in the direction she was walking. Her pointing wasn’t helpful. It gave me a vague idea of where she lived.

“How was school today?” I noticed a small schoolbag on her back.

“My teacher gave me a star.”

“A star?”

She extended her right hand out towards me. On her wrist was a golden star-shaped sticker. I used this star as an excuse to touch her. My left hand gently grabbed her hands and with fingers on my right hand I rubbed against her wrists, feeling the sticker and the skin closely surrounding the sticker. What surprised me was how cool her skin was, as if they were washed with icy water. She was a fresh girl.

“Your mom and dad let you walk home from school by yourself?”

She nodded. “I have to go home now,” she said, looking a little guilty.

“That’s fine.” I got back up again. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you around then.”

She didn’t smile or wave goodbye but just walked away with the same speed she usually walked. If she walked quickly that would be a sign that she was trying to get away from me maybe because I frightened her. But the fact that she didn’t seem to be walking too fast suggested that she genuinely needed to get home--maybe because her parents expected her home at a particular time. Did she cancel her conversation with me because she hated me? I didn’t know, and this bothered me somewhat.

For the rest of that afternoon I couldn’t stop thinking about Katie. In my mind I could always see her--those sweet, moist lips, those gray-blue eyes, and those smooth and slightly chubby arms with virgin skin so golden and fresh. She was like the small girls I used to go to school with when I was little.

That night, while I was in my bed masturbating, I thought about her. She was crying. Those tears blurred her eyes and formed beads of liquid on her cheeks. I don’t know why she was crying. Maybe one of her parents had screamed at her. I held her face, a ball of warm blood. With her in my arms, whatever troubled her would dissipate. I brought her face closer to mine and felt the heat from her sadness radiate towards my face. Through this transfer of heat I could feel my face absorbing the sadness from her. My tongue licked against the little girl’s cheeks. Her tears tasted both sweet and salty. It was at that moment, when I tasted her fluids, when our heat so freely flowed between our bodies, when we were both connected...the hand on my erect penis intensified the pumping action and I reached a climax. I ejaculated heavily and the base of my penis was now a mess of semen trapped in a forest of curly pubic hair.

It was after this climax that I felt depressingly empty again. I wished I hadn’t ejaculated so early so that maybe I could have enjoyed the little girl for a little while longer. I directed my head against the pillow and tried to fall asleep. I had nothing else to live for, so hopefully my sex drive would recover by the time I woke up tomorrow.

----

Mom woke me up at 12 noon. I was surprised because I expected her at work. She told me she didn’t have to be at the office till two.

At the kitchen table, I ate breakfast (or lunch, maybe) with my mom. She seemed keen on catching up on what was going on in my life. She always did this. On her mind was Elron.

“I knew I couldn’t stop you from getting a cat.” She smiled. “I remembered you wanted one ever since you were five.” She sat silently for a while and looked at me. “You’re such a tall boy now, aren’t you? How tall are you?”

“A little under six feet.”

“That’s pretty good for an eighteen year old. You’ve still got a bit of growth in you. You’re such a man. What do you have in mind when you grow up, Philip? What are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “Get a job, get married, have kids…”

“You want kids?” Mom flashed me a smile. “Since when were you the type who wanted kids?”

“I don’t know. I just…”

Mom interrupted. “You know, where I work, most of the men don’t have children. They’re saving that until after the peak of their careers. Be careful when you have children. They're very expensive.”

I remained silent for a while, munching on my Coco Pops.

“How was the present?” asked Mom. “You know, the baseball equipment?”

“It’s good. You should see how long I can keep the ball in the air with the bat.”

Mom looked at me confused.

I spoke. “I keep hitting the baseball into the air with the baseball bat until the ball finally hits the ground. My record is thirty-four hits.”

“Is that it? I think I can do better than that.”

“No you can’t, Mom.”

Mom quickly finished her orange juice. “Let’s go outside and find out!”

As it turned out, Mom could easily keep the ball in the air with the baseball bat. She had been doing so for about an hour and I had lost count of how many hits she had made. She must have played lots of baseball in university.

“This is get boring,” I said. “Hit the ball to me.”

As the ball came down, Mom swung the bat back and prepared to smack it harder than usual. The bat hit the ball loudly. As I looked up into the sky, my eyes were almost blinded by the sun. The ball went high up into the sky. Because of the sun, I couldn’t see a thing. The ball then landed on the ground a meter away from me.

“You didn’t catch it,” said my mom as she walked up to me. Her mobile phone started ringing. I had a feeling Mom was needed at the office, so I probably wouldn’t see her for a while. My suspicions were confirmed. Mom apologized to me and quickly left, leaving me alone. She tried to make me happy by telling me she would buy me something when she came back.

I received the baseball bat from my mom and looked down at the ball on the ground. As mom walked away, I noticed that I wasn’t alone after all. Elron was with me. He had followed me all the way to the park from the house and now he was chewing on the ball, trying to swallow it. The ball was far too big for the little kitty’s mouth.

Grabbing the baseball and throwing it up, I hit the ball about 10 meters away. Elron quickly darted towards the expected landing spot to be near the ball. The kitten wasn’t able to grab the ball with its small mouth, so when the ball landed Elron simply tapped on the ball with his little legs. I had to walk over to grab the ball myself.

Mom was nowhere to be seen now, the whole park seemed empty, and the clouds were starting to darken, signaling the coming of the afternoon. I decided to try one more time to see if this kitten was capable of fetching a ball. I threw the ball up, took a massive swing with the baseball bat, and smashed the ball towards my house, careful not to aim it too close to the house unless I hit any windows. To my surprise, Elron bolted in the direction of the ball as if he were jet-propelled. I was surprised at how such a small creature could run so fast. Elron ran so fast I could barely see him as he blurred into the grass. The ball landed in thick shrubs somewhere near the fence of my house, and that was where Elron was heading.

It took me a while to walk to the shrubs where the ball had landed. It also took me a while to find the ball because finding a ball in a large set of shrubs and plants was like finding a needle in a haystack, as the cliche goes. When I finally found the ball, I noticed that Elron had found something else (or, to be more accurate, someone else). Lying on the ground was a little girl with blonde-brown hair. Her arms were outstretched as she lied on the ground. Her schoolbag rested underneath her back. Elron was licking her face. She had a black bruise on her face near her temples. The baseball lied near her. I knew what had happened: she had been hit with the baseball.

I kneeled down near the little girl and put my hand on her chest, checking for a heartbeat. I could feel it. My hands were over her clothing, so I couldn’t see her nipples or anything. Katie was breathing, which relieved me because for a moment I thought she was dead.

Standing up, I looked down at the little girl. She was dressed in the same clothes she had yesterday: the checkered yellow and white dress. I kneeled back down and held up her arms, inspecting the dirt on her skin. As I held the little girl’s arms up with my left hand I gently rubbed off the dirt with my right arm. Although the dirt felt rough, I could feel the smoothness of her skin underneath. I could feel the blood pumping through the vessels below the surface of her skin.

As I held the little girl’s arm up, I looked down at her upper body and naturally my eyes wandered down towards her legs. Her dress stopped a little above her knees, and as I stared at the two legs poking out from the dress I started to wonder what kind of panties she wore. I could easily lift her dress up and see. Since I was in the park, there was a chance that someone was looking at me, and if someone saw me looking up a little girl’s dress, there was a good chance they’d call the police. I couldn’t take that risk, so assuming that someone was looking, I tried to act like I was heroic. Taking her schoolbag off the girl, I strapped the bag over my own shoulder. With one arm underneath her neck and the other underneath the pits underneath her knee, I lifted her off the ground and carried her back to my bedroom.

----

Little Katie was still not conscious when I carried her into my room. I was excited though because there was another live being in the house besides me and Elron. I put her on my bed, dropped her schoolbag on the floor, and wondered what I should do next. First I looked through the bag. There was nothing in there of interest except her school diary, which I noticed had her address. If I wanted to I could carry this little girl back to her parents’ home. Her parents might be worried if their little girl didn’t come back home on time.

I sat on the bed and looked down at the little girl. It looked like she was in a deep sleep, and I thought about what I would do if she woke up. My eyes were on her legs though and I thought about taking a peek at her panties. Since I was inside my bedroom, nobody else could see me except my cat Elron. Furthermore, Katie was unconscious, which means that she wouldn’t know if I had been peeking at her panties. What someone doesn’t know cannot hurt her, so I moved my hand towards the hem of her dress and pulled them up. While pulling the dress up I moved my face closer to her body.

My penis became harder as the dress was lifted up and her meaty thighs were revealed. The two poles of flesh converged at the waist where her pink panties were revealed. They were plain pink panties with no pictures on them or anything. They fit on her very tightly, and between her legs was what looked like small bumps or hills. The bump between the little girl’s legs was moving up and down as Katie breathed in and out. My eyes widened and my mouth formed an oval shape. Resting the hem of her dress on her chest, I put both my hands on the bed and moved my face down like I was doing pushups. My face came closer and closer to the panties, and suddenly my face registered the body heat radiating from her hip region. Not only did my cheeks register heat but my nose registered the warm sugary smell of the girl’s body, a mixture of evaporated sweat from her skin as well as vaginal fluids including urine trapped in the fabric of her panties. I initially only intended to smell her panties, but when my face got too close I couldn’t stop moving forward, and before I knew it the tip of my nose landed on the panties, pressing against the material. The mound underneath Katie’s panties was softer than I expected. With this closeness, the smell was potent. I closed my eyes and like a drug the smell had an immediate effect as I could feel the warm tingling wave of pleasure inundating my whole body. My mind in particular felt delirious. Like a drug addict, I had to get more, so I moved my lips down and kissed her panties. My tongue came out and planted saliva on the material, soaking it instantly, but when my tongue felt the material my taste buds started to get busy picking up more flavors. The saliva soaked both her vagina lips and her panties, absorbing the fluids in her panties as well as on her vagina lips, mixing it all into one tasty solution that swirled all over my tongue.

My ears picked up noises coming from Katie’s mouth. The wetness on her panties must have done something. Immediately I threw my face away from her panties and quickly threw her dress back down. If she woke up she might think she had wet herself accidentally. She didn’t wake up though. Her eyes were still shut, although with her mouth she mumbled something. Her body moved around a little.

This was too dangerous. If she ever got out, she might tell someone, and I could go to prison. I didn’t want to go to prison. I could, however, prevent her from telling other people by locking her up--or I could kill her.

I quickly dropped that thought. There was no way I could kill a small child. I felt guilty that the idea even came up in my mind. I didn’t want to lock the girl up for the rest of my life either. I could use her as a sex slave, as I have read about on the Internet, but I knew I wasn’t capable of that.

Breathing deeply, I could feel my hard penis press against my pants. I wanted to rape Katie, to plunge my penis into her vagina or her anal hole and rip though her. She would wake up and start screaming, and that would excite me further. My instincts wanted me to rape her. But I kept thinking about the damage I could do to her. I've watch enough movies to know that child sex could lead to psychological scarring.

I got off the bed and stood up. An idea came to my mind, and I rushed out of the bedroom and downstairs to the garage where I grabbed soft nylon rope and a pair of scissors. When I came back to my bedroom I held the rope up as I stood and looked at the little girl lying still on my bed. I was about to tie her up--tie her arms and legs--but I realized that if I tied her too roughly she might wake up and start screaming.

Putting the rope down, I grabbed a black t-shirt near the base of my bed. I folded the t-shirt up into a long rectangle. The t-shirt was now like a blindfold. With my left arm I grabbed the base of the girl’s head and held it up over my pillow. With my other hand I put the t-shirt underneath her head and then rested her head back down on the pillow. I grabbed the two ends of the blindfold/t-shirt and looped it over her eyes. This wasn’t going to work, I thought, because the knot would be tied right above her eyes.

Grabbing the little girl’s body, I pushed her and rolled the girl till she had her tummy against the bed and her bum facing up. This time I wrapped the t-shirt over the girl’s eyes and tied a simple shoelace knot at the back of her head. When I tightened the blindfold, the girl started to move a little, but a few seconds later she was quiet and breathing peacefully. Wasting no time, I tied the girl’s wrists behind her back with the nylon rope. I looped the rope around five times. Next I used the remaining rope to tie her legs together by the shins. However, as I finished tightening the knot on the little girl’s shins, Katie mumbled something barely audible. She was awake, that was for sure. She kept mumbling softly as she felt the movement of her limbs restricted. As she wriggled, her skin brushed up against my legs since I was kneeling on the bed. Katie started speaking.

“Hello? What…” She started struggling. “Daddy?”

As Katie spoke she sounded like she was about to cry. I could only imagine the fear she was in. She was waking up and not only could she not move but she couldn’t see anything but blackness. If I had sleeping gas I could put her to sleep and she would probably never remember anything when she woke up next time. I didn’t have any sleeping gas though. I rolled the little girl over till she was lying on her back. Having just felt my hands all over her body, she now knew that someone was near her.

“I can’t see,” she said, starting to sob. “I can’t see!” She tried to move her arms presumably towards her eyes to see what had happened to her eyes, but she couldn’t. Her hands were tied, and she was starting to struggle quite vigorously now.

I was about to say something to her, whisper something pleasant in her ear, but I hesitated. I was glad I had put a blindfold over her eyes. I didn’t want her to see me. I also didn't want her to hear me because she might remember my voice. This meant I couldn't speak to her.

The little girl seemed restless. I had to go something. If I whispered, I would sound different.

Afraid to talk, I tried to calm the little girl by touching her face, lighting running my fingers along her smooth cheeks. This only seemed to scare her more. She sniffed loudly. I moved my mouth to her ears and whispered.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Just relax.”

As I moved my face up past her face, I noticed her moist lips. I moved my lips closer to her lips, about to kiss her, but then I saw her bending her knees. Her arms were tied by the wrists behind her. This made it uncomfortable for her to lie down on her back because she was lying on her hands that were tied behind her. Although my bed was rather soft, she decided she wasn’t comfortable enough. She bent her knees till they almost reached her chin and then moved her wrist down under her bottom, over her feet, and in front of her body. She straightened her legs. Now that her wrists were sitting on her lap--not behind her on her bottom--she could easily grab her blindfold.

And that was exactly what she was doing!

I grabbed the little girl’s hands quickly, and Katie started to scream out once I did this.

To keep the girl’s hands away from her blindfold, I actually sat down on the girl as she lied on her back. I sat down till I was sitting on her chest, facing her legs. My body blocked her hands from moving to her face. Her hands were tied by the wrist. The little girl was screaming fiercely, so I quickly looked around the bed to find something to keep her quiet. I found my old pair of underwear nearby, grabbed it, and stuffed it in her mouth. The underwear gagged the little girl and kept her quiet. Putting a finger underneath her nostrils, I felt the air from her lungs cooling my fingers. She could breathe from her nose, so the gag wasn’t suffocating her as I initially feared.

To prevent the girl from taking off her blindfold, I needed to tie her wrists to her feet. Since I didn’t have any rope left, I grabbed my pillow and took off the cover. I coiled the pillow cover, turning it into a meter-long piece of rope. Using this I connected the rope that bounded her arms by her wrists to the rope that bounded her legs by her shins. Now she couldn’t move her hands to her face. Her legs were bound so she couldn’t walk. She was blindfolded so she couldn’t see. My underwear in her mouth gagged her and kept her silent.

Still kneeling on the bed, I looked down at the little girl. She was tied up and helpless now. No longer was she squirming. She seemed resigned now and kept still.

I heard the sound of the front door opening downstairs followed by footsteps. Dad was home!

I had to hide the girl somewhere quickly, so I lifted her up, settled her down on the carpet, and rolled her underneath my bed, making sure that when she finished rolling she was facing up. As I said, I didn’t want to suffocate her. She would have to stay like this for maybe an hour or two, and when I came back she would likely be sore and hungry. I needed to get some food and water for her. I had to treat her almost like a pet or a plant.

Walking out of the bedroom and heading downstairs, I was surprised to find that not only did my dad come home but so too did my mom. I smiled because it’s rare for my mom and my dad to both be together with me--usually one or both worked--but tonight the family was complete: Mom, Dad, Me, Elron, and of course little Katie.

----

I opened the front door and let in both my mom and dad. While Mom and Dad were dressed in their dark suits, I wore a green t-shirt and pajama pants.

“Philip, get out of those clothes!” said Mom. “We’re eating out tonight.”

“Eating out tonight?” I started to worry. “Where are we going?”

“The Midori,” said Dad, adjusting his tie in front of an ornamental wall mirror.

I looked blankly at my parents.

Dad looked at me. “It’s a sushi restaurant, Phil. Don’t tell me you’d rather to go to McDonald’s instead! We can do better than that.”

“How long will we be gone?”

Dad shrugged his shoulders. “Two or three hours maybe. Does it matter?”

“I…I think I want to watch something on TV soon.”

“Just tape it. Use the auto-recording function on the VCR.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, Phil, I thought you liked sushi.”

“I do…but…well.” I didn’t know what to say.

Dad finished adjusting his tie and walked back up to me. “Go to your room and get changed quickly.”

I ran to the kitchen first, grabbed a glass of water, filled it with tap water, and walked upstairs to my room with it. Inside my room, I locked the bedroom door and I put the glass on my desk. I kneeled by the bed and peeked underneath to see how my little girl was doing.

I rolled the little girl out from under the bed. She was facing up. I put a finger in the little girl’s mouth and grabbed a piece of the scrunched up underwear in her mouth. If I took the underwear out from the little girl’s mouth, what if she started screaming?

“Philip!” I heard my mom screaming from downstairs. “Are you finished up there?”

I had to give Katie some water, otherwise she might die. I had no idea how long it’s been since she last ate or drank, but I knew for a fact that although humans can survive for long periods without food, they needed water to survive.

If Katie started screaming, I could always cup my palm over her mouth and silence her.

When I took my underwear out from Katie’s mouth, the scrunched-up ball of cotton was wet with her saliva. I held this wetness to my nose quickly and inhaled. Her saliva smelled good. It was sweet and warm.

The little girl didn’t make any noise. I leaned over to my desk and grabbed the glass of water. Her mouth was already open, and I started pouring the water into her mouth. Katie was lying on the carpet with no pillow. Her back was against the floor. As I poured the water into the little girl’s mouth, much of the water spilled out and ran along the cheeks of her face or onto her neck.

Something horrible then happened.

Katie started choking. Perhaps I should have warned her that I was going to pour water into her mouth. Water started shooting out from her nostrils, creating mists of liquid in the air as she continued to sneeze. Since she was perfectly horizontal, some of the water probably didn’t go down her esophagus but instead went up her sinuses and out her nose again.

“No,” she squeaked. “Don’t do it.”

I grabbed a pillow from my bed and positioned it on the side of my bed. I positioned the little girl so that her back was leaning against this pillow now. Although her bound legs were parallel to the floor, her upper body was now perpendicular to the floor. Putting the rim of the half-full glass to the little girl’s moist pink lips, I tilted the glass and let the water flow into her small mouth. Little streams of water escaped from the edge of her lips and went down her neck towards her dress but not much. The little girl was trying to drink the water. Her throat wriggled rhythmically like the movement of pistons on an engine.

When the glass was empty I pulled it away from her lips. The little girl burped a breath of fresh and cool air that landed on my face. Her little lips were moist and glossy. They were bright pink.

Very quickly, I picked out a random assortment of neat casuals for our sushi dinner tonight. I put the clothes on so quickly I almost ripped my pants. I wore dark tailored jeans and a white Nautica t-shirt. Once dressed, I went back to Katie and laid her down flat on the carpet again.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

I had to ignore her because I could hear footsteps from the stairs. One of my parents was coming up to get me.

My hands shoved my underwear back into the little girl’s mouth, gagging her again. I checked to make sure she was breathing before pushing her underneath my bed. I got up, unlocked the bedroom door, and walked out to find my dad just about to knock.

----

I sat in the back seat of the family's Mercedes S-Class as it drove through the city. It was dark outside, but the city lights kept everything visible. Melbourne was not like Las Vegas, but it was probably halfway there. Recently a casino was built near the Yarra River.

Since our car had tinted windows, I could look outside without worrying if people outside could see me looking at them. As I looked outside, I noticed that the city seemed strange. The buildings seemed desolate. The people looked horrible. I saw people lining up to get into a nightclub, and all the people lining up were dressed brightly. The door to the nightclub was open, and when I looked inside I saw a burst of multi-colored light inside. The darkness, the vibrant colors, the bleak concrete and metal buildings--all these things made me feel strange.

I got out from the car and followed my mum and dad into the Midori restaurant. When I was on the pavement, I noticed the chill of the night air. Looking up at the skyscrapers, I started to get an impression of how large and vast this place was. The night chill went away when I stepped into the restaurant.

Very quickly we were directed to a seat and our food was ordered. Within minutes I was not only eating sushi but also okinomiyaki. As I ate, I kept thinking about Katie. She was tied up by the wrists and legs. Her wrists were tied to her legs. Tying her legs and wrists together was necesssary if I didn't want her to remove her blindfold and gag. She was underneath my bed, probably sore and definitely hungry.

There’s something strange about this restaurant--everyone was so quiet. This wasn’t the first and only time I’ve been here. When I came here before, the place was quiet as well even though most of the seats were taken. It was as if people were afraid to talk too much.

I finished my okinomiyaki and sushi but then told mom and dad that I was still hungry, so they ordered more food for me. I ate only a few bites of my food before telling my parents I was full, so we had no choice but to bring the food back with us. Mom told the waiter to put my leftover food in plastic containers, which the restaurant staff did rather quickly. Now I had food for Katie.

On the way back home, as we got off the freeway and drove into the suburbs, I looked out of the window at the houses. As I looked at the houses, I kept telling myself that people lived in them even though I couldn’t see these people. I had no idea what happened inside their houses, just as nobody who drives by my house would know that I had a little girl tied up in my room. Since the walls shielded me from what happened inside the houses, I felt there was a whole world out there behind walls that I could not see, a whole world potentially filled with happiness that I could not reach.

When we got home, Dad stayed in the garage to do something to the car while Mom went inside and turned on the computer. She was going to do something online. As I walked by my mother with the food in my hand, she stopped me.

“Phil, are you going to eat that? I’m feeling hungry now, so if you don’t want it…”

“No, Mom, I want to eat it.”

I saw what my mom was doing online. She was reading the news. The page she had open right now was about car prices in Germany, but on the right-hand-side of the screen were links to other news. One link caught my attention: GIRL MISSING IN TOORAK.

I pointed to the link. “Look, Mom, that’s where we live.”

Mom clicked the link and to my horror a picture of Katie showed up on the screen. I felt weird looking at the picture of a girl who was also tied up underneath my bed. My eyes quickly scanned some of the words: …parents reported Katie missing at five…police have searched a nearby park but have found no traces of the 7-year-old girl. This has been a difficult time for father Michael. First his wife died in a road accident and now his daughter is missing. Although police suspect that Katie may have been a victim of kidnapping, her father Michael remains hopeful that his daughter will be found safe and alive.

“This happened right here in our neighborhood,” said Mom. “It’s hard to believe that psychos actually live around here.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Mom started logging off. “It’s getting late. You want to use the computer now, Phil?”

“I’ve got one in my own room.”

Mom nodded and turned the computer off. I never used the computer in the living room anyway because everyone could see what I was doing on it.

Dad arrived from the garage and went upstairs to bed. As Mom followed him, I went up and walked to my bedroom. I locked the door as I got in.

I pulled Katie from underneath my bed, lifted her up, and lied her down on my bed. She didn’t seem to move. Her body was very warm. Her belly went up and down as she breathed. I figured she was asleep, so I removed my underwear from her mouth. But she wasn’t asleep because she started talking as soon as the underwear was removed.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

I heard a rumbling sound coming from her belly. I opened the plastic container and took out a chicken sushi. After squirting some soy sauce on it, I pressed one end of the sushi against the bottom of her lips. When the food made contact with her lips, I could detect a quick and small smile form before she opened her mouth wide to accept the food. The sushi was about five inches long, and I stuck about one inch inside. She bit on the sushi, closed her mouth, and started chewing on it. I took the now four-inch sushi away from her mouth and squirted some more soy sauce on the end that she had bitten off. I saw her swallow the food down.

“Mmmm that’s yummy,” she said. “What is it?”

I smiled. That was the first time I’d heard her say something that suggested to me she was happy or satisfied. I was about to say something, but then realized I shouldn't let her recognize my voice.

Instead of replying, I pushed the end of the sushi towards her lips again. She opened wide, I inserted the sushi, and she took another bite.

As Katie chewed on her second inch of sushi, I got up from the bed and went to the light switch near the door where I turned off the ceiling lights. I turned on the small lamp on a small bedside table. Since I was getting sleepy, I started to yawn.

“Are you sleepy?” she asked, her voice sounding so child-like. She had heard me yawn. “What time is it?”

She was lying on the bed, so I took my blanket and covered her body up to her chest. I then got in underneath the blankets. She would sleep with me tonight. Sleeping on a bed would be far more comfortable than sleeping on the floor.

“Why don’t you talk to me?” she asked, now sounding sad.

I leaned beside her, my body touching hers. There was some rice on the corner of her lips, and since her hands were tied she couldn’t clean herself up.

I straddled her, letting my hard penis lie between her legs, pressing up against her body. My chest was against her chest. I was on the little girl as if I was going to have sexual intercourse with her in the missionary position. Her hands were between her and my body. Her hands were originally shaped into a fist, which hurt me because it dug into my belly. She then flattened her hands out. As I lied on the little girl, she became quiet. Because of the blindfold, I couldn’t see her eyes, so I didn’t know whether she was scared, but I assume she was. As she breathed her belly went up and down, and since my belly was against hers, I could feel this wave on my own belly. She was fully clothed and so was I, so there was no skin contact.

My face was right next to the little girl’s. She was so pretty. Her mouth was slightly open, and her breath blew on my face. The air from her mouth smelled of sushi.

“W…What are you doing?” she asked with a slight quiver in her voice.

I brought my face down and kissed the corner of her mouth where the stray bead of rice was. With my tongue I licked it up and swallowed it. I then rimmed her whole mouth with my tongue, carefully licking off the greasy rice and vinegar till her lips were totally clean. As I did this, my penis grew harder, and it pressed more forcefully against the mound between her legs.

“Who are you?” she asked. “Please tell me.”

I couldn’t tell her. She was probably really scared at the thought that a stranger was on her. My hands snaked their way to her back. I grabbed her and pulled her body towards mine, trying to press her against me, to feel her whole body underneath me, her heartbeat, her diaphragm as it moved up and down, as well as the moisture of sweat that secreted from her skin pores.

The little girl started to cry underneath me. I couldn’t see any tears in her eyes because I couldn’t see her eyes underneath the blindfold, but I could tell she was crying by the noises she made. As her crying got louder, I started to worry.

“Shhhhhhhh.” I put my mouth towards her right ear and very quietly whispered. “Don’t cry. It’s okay.” My voice was so quiet I could hear the popping noise my moist lips made when they opened. Since I was whispering my voice didn’t sound deep as it usually did. I had gone through puberty, and by now I had developed a deep voice. When I whispered though this deepness wasn’t evident.

“Why are you whispering?” she asked.

Now that I thought about it, my whispering to her probably made me sound more sinister and evil. No wonder she still seemed scared.

I totally forgot about the food, so I grabbed the now three-inch sushi from the plastic container and pushed it against her mouth again. She opened her lips and accepted the food. I fed her not only the two sushis but also the okinomiyaki, which she seemed to enjoy.

When the food was all finished, her belly now felt warm and slightly bulging. I left the empty plastic containers on the bedside table. Her mouth was dirty this time not only from rice but also from sauce. Instead of using my lips like I did before, I wiped the edge of her mouth with a finger and then popped this finger into her mouth for her to lick. Her soft, warm tongue flickered over my finger, taking away the rice and sweet sauce. She looked so innocent sucking on my finger, like a little baby drinking milk.

I got up from my bed and changed into my pajamas. I couldn’t risk Katie making loud noises during the night so I decided to put my underwear gag back in her mouth now that she had finished eating.

Since it was getting late, I couldn’t help yawning. It was a loud yawn as well, so Katie probably heard me. I reached over to the bedside lamp and turned the lights out. It was pitch black. This would be how Katie felt.

I closed my eyes. I couldn’t see anything, but I still felt Katie’s body near mine. I was lying on my bed on my back. The back of my head rested against the pillow. The blankets were all the way up to my neck. Katie’s body, however, was completely covered with the blanket. She could easily roll over to the far end of the bed, but instead her body pressed against mine.

In a way I felt uncomfortable with Katie pressing up against me, and I started to wonder whether I would fall asleep tonight. It wouldn’t matter anyway because I didn’t have to get up early for anything tomorrow, and in a way I didn’t want to fall asleep tonight because I was sleeping with this little girl.

I felt something press against me strongly on the belly.

What was Katie doing down there?

Reaching over to the bedside table with my left hand, I grabbed my Samsung mobile phone and brought it under the blankets. With my right hand I then pulled the blankets up till they were over my head. The fingers on my left hand pressed on the button on my Samsung and the liquid crystal display turned on, illuminating the area underneath the blankets. With the blanket just over my head, it felt like I was in a dimly-lit cave. The mobile phone gave off a soft bluish color. I could see in this warm claustrophobic cavity the pajamas on my body, and my penis was extremely hard and prominent as it bulged out the front of my pajama pants. Katie was lying on the bed near my right hand. She was tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. I watched the little girl as she tried to lightly wriggle herself into a comfortable position. Since she was blindfolded, she wouldn’t know that I had turned on the mobile phone light under the blankets.

I grabbed the top of the blanket and pulled it up, bringing my whole body upward as well so that my penis was lined up with the little girl’s face. With my right hand I pulled my pajama pants down and released my penis from under my pants and underwear. My penis hardened from the thought that this massive penis was right next to the little girl--hovering over her face--and she didn’t even know. With a hand over the little girl’s head, I pressed her face down against the tip of my penis, feeling my penis brush up against her smooth soft right cheek. Just the feel of her baby smooth cheeks on my penis made me aroused. She probably didn’t know what it was sticking up against her face. Maybe she thought it was my finger or my big toe.

I then wondered whether I could stick my penis into the girl’s mouth. My underwear was stuck up her mouth, so I couldn’t put much up there. I started to think about whether it would be difficult sleeping with someone’s underwear stuffed up your mouth. I inserted two fingers into the little girl’s mouth, grabbed the underwear, and pulled it out slowly, ready to pop it back in if she started screaming. She was completely silent, and so well behaved. As I moved the scrunched up underwear towards my penis I felt cold liquid dripping on the piece of skin where my right leg met my torso. Her saliva was dripping from the underwear onto my skin.

Wrapping the saliva-soaked underwear over my penis, I stroked my penis softly, feeling the little girl’s slimy saliva smear over my penis.

Suddenly the little girl sneezed. Her sneezing took me by surprise and actually scared me.

“Sorry,” she said so quietly.

My right hand patted her on her back, reassuring her that I wasn’t angry. She had actually sneezed on my penis, and as I dropped the underwear and felt my penis with my bare left palm, to my excitement I could feel the little girl’s slimy mucus and phlegm. She had sneezed this slime out from her nasal cavity and threw it towards my penis almost as if it were a gift for me.

Stroking my penis with my left hand, I felt the slimy mixture of mucus and saliva starting to pop as the many little air bubbles burst. The slimy mixture lubricating my penis sounded like the sound of grease smeared against a hard surface. My right hand touched the back of the little girl’s head, my fingers playing with the knot that held her blindfold together. What if I took off her blindfold? Since the mobile phone provided light, she would see what was happening. Would I traumatize her? Would the image be permanently etched in her innocent little mind? I decided to keep the blindfold on.

Since my left hand had mucus, snot, and saliva all over it, I grabbed the mobile phone lying on my tummy with my right hand and brought the phone out from underneath the blankets. Popping my head back out from underneath the blankets, I reached over towards the bedside table, sifted through the junk, and grabbed a candy cane that had been given to me two Christmases ago. I moved the candy cane to my mouth and with my teeth peeled off the plastic wrapping. Bringing the candy cane underneath the blankets, I rested it on my pubes, just above my penis. I then brought my right hand back out, grabbed the Samsung mobile phone on the bedside table, brought the phone back underneath the blanket, and then put my head back underneath.

The mucus and saliva on my left hand and penis had now dried up. I rested the mobile phone on my tummy, grabbed the candy cane with my left hand, and with my right hand I held the back of Katie’s head. I held her gently, not wanting to make her scream.

As with the sushi, I pressed one end of the candy cane to the bottom of her lips. I pressed a little harder this time to emphasize to her that this candy cane was hard, not soft like the sushi. I hoped she didn’t start biting on the candy cane because that might hurt her teeth. I wanted to say something to warn her, but I couldn’t talk. As I said, if I ever did release her and she met me again and heard me talking, she might recognize my voice.

I softly pushed the candy cane into her mouth. Her teeth initially resisted the inward movement of the candy cane, but a moment later she opened her mouth and accepted about an inch. She started sucking and licking. I could feel the candy cane moving around as one end was in her mouth. After she had sucked on the cane for about thirty seconds, I pulled the candy cane out.

“Mmmm, lollipop,” she said in a tone that made me uncertain whether she was asking a question or not. “I want more.”

I pushed the candy cane back into her mouth and she started sucking on it again. I left it in for about a minute this time. Then when I took the candy cane out from her mouth I smeared the wet end against my penis, trying to coat my penis with as much syrupy sugar as possible.

I then turned my body to the side, thrust my hips forward, and moved my penis into her mouth. As her warm tongue started lapping on my penis, I started moaning involuntarily. Her tongue started to slow down. She was probably suspicious now why this new candy cane felt and tasted different. It was rounder, slightly softer, and had a foreskin. She could probably taste the sweetness that I had wiped on my penis, so she certainly had an incentive to keep sucking.

I took my penis out from her mouth and replaced it with the real candy cane. I then randomized the order. Whether she was going to get the penis or the candy cane was like figuring out whether a coin flip ended up heads or tails. Since she was blindfolded and couldn’t see anything, over time she would likely believe that she was just licking and sucking on two different types of candy cane. The candy cane’s girth (the distance around the candy cane) was coincidentally about the same as the girth of my penis.

My penis was throbbing so much I felt like I could almost burst. If her mouth went over my penis again there was a good chance I would release my sperm deposits straight into her mouth.

My doorknob started clanking.

I froze.

Someone then started knocking quietly on my bedroom door. It was locked. It was probably Mom or Dad. What could they want? I was in big trouble if Mom or Dad found me with a little girl I had kidnapped. Immediately I turned on the lamp on the bedside table, got up, did my pants, stuffed my underwear back into the little girl’s mouth, and then laid her down on the carpet at the base of the bed. I then grabbed an MP3 player, stuffed both earphones into Katie’s ears, and then turned the volume up till the music blasted in her ears. I then pushed the little girl underneath the bed. I couldn’t roll her like a log this time because she wore earphones connected to an MP3 player. Poor girl probably thought she was going to have to sleep on the carpet for the whole night listening to my music.

I opened my bedroom door and saw my mom. She looked inside my room.

“Why did you lock your door, Phil?”

“I forgot to unlock from before,” I said. “It was an accident.”

She nodded. “I’ve got something for you, Phil.” Her eyes looked tired, as if she just got out from bed.

“What is it?”

She pulled out my kitten Elron. “Your kitten woke me up. Keep her in your room, would you?”

“It’s a boy kitten,” I said, correcting her.

I grabbed the kitten, released him into my bedroom, and peeked out as my mom went back to her bedroom. This time she shut her bedroom door as she entered, probably not wanting any pets to disturb her sleep. It was important that Elron stay in my room tonight. If he played around in the kitchen he might break plates, glasses, or bowls. Since this cat was new, my parents hadn’t had time yet to make the house safe for cats.

I locked my bedroom door and ran back to the base of my bed. Pulling the little girl out from under the bed, I removed the earphones from her ears. She was wriggling around. Her head swayed from side to side in a desperate attempt to throw the earphones out. I put one earphone in my right ear to test how loud it was. It was quite loud, almost at full volume. I needed to put the earphones on her so that she couldn’t hear the conversation between my mom and me. If she heard she might recognize voices or, worst yet, she would know who I was if my mom mentioned my name. The volume was very loud though. I hoped I hadn’t made her permanently deaf. Looking down at the little girl it was clear she was distressed.

I carried the little girl to the bed and sat her down on my lap. I decided to take out my underwear from her mouth. I felt she deserved it after I had blasted her ears with loud music. Right after I removed the gag, the little girl spoke.

“Please don’t put that in my mouth again.”

I pressed my mouth against hers this time and kissed her on the lips. I loved her moist mouth.

“Who are you?” she asked. “Where am I? Am I dead? Am I in Heaven?”

I smiled. The girl thought she was in Heaven. I decided maybe it would be nice to try to fool her into believing she actually was, so I rested my mouth close to her ears and whispered.

“Yes, you’re in Heaven now.”

Katie spoke. “How did I die?”

“A baseball hit your head. Your dad is very sad, and so is your mom.” My throat was starting to get sore with all the whispering.

“But my mom's dead,” she said.

I understood now. Katie didn’t have a mother.

As the little girl sat on my lap, I could feel her body getting warmer. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was two in the morning. No wonder I was so tired. Katie was probably tired as well. I decided it was time I tried to get some sleep.

I continued whispering. “When you speak, don’t make too much noise.”

“Why?”

“Other people are sleeping. You’ll wake them up. Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m very tired,” she said. She then paused for a few seconds. “Did you kiss me before?”

“Yes, I did kiss you. Would you like another one?”

Katie smiled. “I need to go wee wee now.”

If she needed to go she needed to go. She couldn’t hold it in forever. I was going to have to carry her all the way to the toilet, which was risky because, on my way to the toilet, maybe my mom or dad might catch me. It was a risk I had to take.

“Can I wee now?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “Only start weeing when I touch your nose.”

I carried the little girl over to the bedroom door. When I opened the door, Katie started babbling something, so I shooshed her in case one of my parents were near. Apart from some moonlight, the corridors were quiet and dark. I walked back to the bedside table and grabbed my mobile phone. I might need it to produce light. With the Samsung in my pocket, I carried the little girl outside into the corridors. There was a bathroom about ten meters away from my room. As I walked though, my body was much heavier than it usually was since I was carrying a little girl. Because of the extra weight, every step I took concentrated more force on the floor directly underneath my feet. The wooden planks under the carpet started stretching.

I finally arrived at the bathroom entrance only to realize that the light bulb didn’t work. I flicked on the switch about five times before fully convincing myself that I would have to somehow make the little girl urinate in almost pitch darkness.

Luckily, the bathroom was not completely dark. A small window about a foot in width and length let in dim rays of grey moonlight. I could just see the toilet from where I stood.

“I need to wee!” said Katie.

I locked the door and carried the little girl over to the toilet, walking especially slow now because of the darkness. I was afraid that I was going to trip over something. Now that I was walking on bathroom tiles I was no longer afraid of making noises.

When I got to the toilet, I put Katie down, letting her stand near the toilet as I took off my pants and sat down on the toilet seat. I pulled up the hem of Katie’s dress, grabbed her panties, and pulled them down her legs. Since it was so dark I couldn’t make out much detail on the little girl’s body even though I was very curious to see Katie’s vagina.

After taking off rope from her shins, I lifted the little girl up by her hips and placed her on my lap. She faced me as she sat on my lap. Each of her bum cheeks rested on the top of my thighs. Both her legs extended towards the back of the toilet. Her feet could probably just touch the u-bend. The underside of my penis pressed against the little girl’s outer vaginal lips. My penis hardened rapidly as my penis felt the little girl’s smooth hairless vagina lips.

My hands wrapped around Katie’s upper body. I pulled the little girl towards me till her chest touched mine. Her face landed inches from mine. Katie’s hands were bound in front of her body, so it was a little uncomfortable for her. Although our chests made contact and we were facing each other, Katie’s hands were sandwiched between my belly and her belly. Since the little girl’s face was right next to mine, I could feel her breath on my face--the cool, fresh air from the body of a little girl. Even though only a trickle of moonlight spilled inside the bathroom, some of that light arrived at her face. I suddenly felt such a desire to look into her eyes and to see inside her, but I couldn't because she was blindfolded.

Bringing my mouth to her face, I kissed the tip of Katie’s nose.

She started to urinate on my penis. I heard the trickling noise of liquid. Warmth started to envelop my penis. Splashes of urine landed all over my belly and upper thighs. The urine stream drilled into the underside of my penis, and I opened my mouth involuntarily to gasp. As I gasped, my arms squeezed more tightly against the girl’s body, pressing her body closer to mine till I felt her body merging with mine, her heartbeat reverberating against my body. She radiated warmth and I absorbed it.

Her urine flow started to weaken. I sat for a while, looking at the moonlight from the window. As my face came close to her face, I felt her hair strands tickling my face, so with a hand I lightly brushed her hair back. I laid her face against my left shoulder and waited for her to finish urinating. She was almost finished. It was hard to determine when she was really finished because, although she may have stopped urinating, urine could still be dripping all over my body in between my legs.

When I was fully convinced that Katie had finished urinating, I was about to lift her up by the hips and stand her up, but as I lifted her head from my shoulders I could hear her breathing very slowly. Her mouth was opened. Since she was blindfolded, I couldn’t see her eyes, but it looked like she was asleep. In fact, when I lifted her up a little, her body seemed limp, which suggested that she was indeed asleep.

With my left hand I held Lily up, careful not to rock her too much lest she wake up. With my right hand I grabbed some toilet paper, folded it up, and dabbed it softly against her vagina lips. The toilet paper must have absorbed the urine beads on her vagina lips because I felt moisture on my fingers.

Very crudely I dried my penis and belly with more toilet paper before lifting up my pants and carrying Katie back to my bedroom.

While lying in bed with Katie sleeping by my side, I was masturbating. My fingers still held the scent of the little girl’s sweet urine, and I held my smelly fingers underneath my nostrils as I masturbated.

I ejaculated.

As the semen erupted, in my mind I could still see Katie. Images of her sweet smiling face sustained my orgasm. When it was over, I smeared my semen on Katie’s pretty face as she slept. Then with my tongue I licked her face, moving the sweat-and-semen mixture around, up her nostrils and some into her mouth.

After a while, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

----

When I woke up the next day, it was nine in the morning. Given how much I had struggled in the darkness last night when I was in the toilet, I was surprised at how much light poured into my room from the bedroom window. Cocking my head, I saw Katie sleeping beside me. Being blindfolded, she probably wouldn’t be able to figure out whether it was day or night. Since the bedroom door had been closed and locked throughout the night, the room was rather humid.

I remembered being awake until about two in the morning last night, so I was surprised to be waking up at nine in the morning because at a minimum I had seven hours of sleep, and usually I woke up eight hours after I fell asleep. Katie probably fell asleep around about the same time I fell asleep, which was a little after two o’clock. The little girl would probably sleep for a little longer, maybe until ten or eleven. I heard somewhere that small children needed more sleep than older teenagers like me, but I’m not too sure whether this was true or not.

After unlocking the bedroom door, I poked my head outside and listened carefully for any noise that may indicate whether my parents were still home. I heard nothing for twenty seconds and so assumed that nobody was home except me and Katie.

I walked back to the bed and took some scissors from the bedside table. The scissors were sharp, so if I wanted to I could cut Katie up. I placed the scissors in my pockets and then carefully picked Katie up from the bed. She was in a deep sleep. Even as I moved her around a little she didn’t wake up. If she did wake up, she wouldn’t be able to see anything underneath the blindfold. The little girl didn’t have my underwear in her mouth this morning. I figure she learnt now not to make any noise and even if she did make noise I could silence her with my t-shirt. Katie’s arms and legs were still tied up with rope, although by now she was probably used to it.

Carrying a little girl down the stairs was more difficult than I first imagined. Firstly, since I held a child in my arms, I couldn’t see my legs and couldn’t check to see whether the foot that I brought forward would land on the steps. Just one misplaced foot could see me tumbling down with the girl.

I was pleasantly surprised to find the sun beaming down on me as I entered the backyard. Still carrying the little girl, I pushed the fence door open and walked into the park, arriving at the path that Katie usually took in the afternoon. I then walked into the bushes and found a clear field of grass that was bordered by plenty of vegetation, so there was little chance anybody could see what I was doing. I laid Katie on the grass carefully. After pulling out the scissors from my pockets, I started cutting the ropes on her hands and legs before cutting off her blindfold. I scrunched up the rope before burying them in my pocket. Katie slept peacefully on the grass under the morning sun. I took one last look at her before walking away back to my house.

When I arrived back in my backyard, I closed the fence door and sat around the backyard for about an hour. I was waiting for Katie to wake up. The fence dividing my backyard from the park had holes in it that were perfect for spying. Every now and then I would look through this hole to see whether Katie had woken up yet.

At about ten o’clock I saw Katie through the eyehole. She was walking out from the bushes. She arrived on the path and looked very confused. She clearly didn’t understand what had just happened to her.

The little girl continued down the dirt path, walking as she always did, in a wandering unfocused manner. Her steps were small, almost little baby steps. Perhaps she was feeling weak.

When Katie was about twenty meters ahead, I opened the fence silently and followed her.

----

Before long, Katie found herself on the pavement after walking out from the park. She walked along the pavement for about a minute before she stopped, turned around, and walked back the way she came. As she walked back I found myself walking towards the little girl, and as she came closer and closer to me I could see the worry on her face even though she was aware of my presence. When I walked up to her, I spoke to her.

“Hello, little girl,” I said. “Where’s your mom or dad?” I hoped to God she wouldn’t recognize my voice. I kept telling myself she wouldn’t because I never spoke to her but only ever whispered to her.

The little girl looked forward for a moment. When she looked upwards, she briefly made eye contact with me before breaking it again. She put her hands together, fidgeted with her fingers, and then put her face back down and stared at the pavement.

“It’s okay if you don’t know,” I said, trying to sound very kind. “I’ll walk you to the police station now. It’s near here. They will help you find your mom and dad.”

Katie kept staring at the pavement as she digested what I said. With the new information processed, she looked back up at me and made eye contact with me again, probably trying to figure out if I was trustworthy based on what my face looked like. She put her head down and stared into the distance. Aware that I was looking at her and awaiting a response, the little girl nodded her head.

I started walking to the police station. Katie followed me from behind.

----

It was seven o’clock at night and usually I don’t watch television. I think television appeals to the lowest common denominator. I like to think I’m better than the masses, so I avoid television lest it makes me more ordinary or more common. However, tonight was different. I knew I was going to be on the news, and I wanted to see myself on TV. I had already told my mom and dad and they really wanted to see for themselves.

I knew I was going to be on TV because, when I dropped Katie off at the police station earlier, I was asked to write up some police reports, and after a few minutes writing them I noticed a large group of cameramen and journalists waiting outside. One of the cops must have tipped off the media.

I sat on the left-hand side of the sofa while my mum sat on the right-hand side. My dad sat on his own seat to the left of the TV. It was getting dark and the lighting in the family room was weak. An attractive woman appeared on the television to report the news.

“In news today, missing seven-year-old girl Catherine Kopsey has been found safe and well walking near a park near Heyington Station. She was found by a teenage boy who alerted police.”

“Look, it’s you!” said my mom, pointing to the television.

The camera focused on me as I stood in the police station. I had a bewildered look on my face because I didn’t expect so many cameras. I then saw myself talking on TV. It was odd seeing myself on TV, and I suddenly felt embarrassed.

“I found her walking along the pavement,” I said on TV. “She looked lost and I heard on the news that a child was missing in the area, so I quickly led her to the police station.”

My mum looked at me and smiled. I think she approved of what I said on national TV. If I had said something even slightly unconventional, I would have regretted it forever.

----

It was night. I lied in my bed with the blankets covering me completely. Since it was such a cold night I kept the blankets tightly wrapped around me, but even as I did this I could feel the chilly air seeping in through the small holes. As I lied in bed, the moonlight drifted in and made my bedroom look like the surface of the moon--barren, grey, cold, and isolated. Last night I had a little girl in my arms. I had felt warmer with her not just because of her body temperature but because I had a living, breathing child sleeping with me. And now she was gone, replaced by empty space, by cold air. I started to regret ever releasing her. Perhaps she was better off now that she was with her family.

But perhaps not.

I suddenly remembered what Katie told me. Her mother was dead, so she only had a father.

----

I woke up the next day at 11 o’clock. What was once moonlight streaming through the windows was now bright and warm sunlight. I looked outside into the park and noticed how empty it seemed. Usually during the weekends there was a handful of people in the park, but today the park was empty, which meant today was a weekday.

Turning around, I faced my bed and looked at the mess on the floor. T-shirts, socks, and underwear were heaped all over the floor. I noticed that among this mess was a school diary.

It was Katie’s school diary!

Now that my memory had been jogged, I remembered seeing Katie’s home address written in her school diary.

Very quickly I flicked some pages and found her address: 46 Baird St. Baird Street was about a 20-minute walk from my house. I remembered the road because there was a shop there where I used to buy candy when I was small.

----

When I arrived at Katie’s house I was surprised at how much of a dump it was. My house was quite a nice double-story house among many other nice houses nearby, but it was surprising how a 20-minute walk could change the surroundings so dramatically. Most of the property on Baird Street seemed to be flats rather than actual houses. The place also seemed to have fewer trees planted on the nature strips.

Katie’s house--if the address in her school diary was accurate--was a single-story brick house. At the front was an uneven lawn that had large bare patches of dirt. On this lawn was the front half of an old car that was starting to rust. The car looked as if all the important parts, such as the engine and the steering wheel, had been stripped off. All that remained was the rusted outer shell as well as the mess of wires all over. The car looked like an old Ford, although it was such a twisted mess it was impossible to tell unless you identified the badge at the front. The car also seemed to have sharp pieces of metal sticking out. If a child lived here I hoped to God the child didn’t play with this car.

Most houses had some sort of barrier between the front yard and the backyard--a fence or something. This house didn’t have anything but plain grass and dirt. The backyard was open before me invitingly, so I decided to go have a look. I still didn’t know whether a child actually lived here or not. I remembered from the school diary that I was supposed to be at house number 46, and this certainly was house number 46. The number was displayed on the front door.

But maybe I had read it wrong. Maybe Katie wrote her address incorrectly. This house certainly didn’t seem like the sort of house a child would live in. It was too small. It was too dangerous.

Today was a cold and windy day, so I was glad I had a windbreaker on. I all of a sudden felt the Samsung in my back pocket vibrating. My dad had sent me an SMS to ask me where I was. I looked at the time and noticed it was four o’clock. Dad had already arrived back home from work. I didn’t bother replying.

As I walked towards the backyard I approached a window. I heard noises coming from this window.

I inched myself closer to the window, careful not to make too much noise. When my fingers touched the edge of the window, I could hear the noise more clearly. It was a swishy, sharp, metallic noise. It sounded like a machine, although this noise was far too random to be the product of a machine. My curiosity was aroused. I had to see what was happening inside the room.

When I peeked inside, I saw something odd.

It was a man in his forties. He wore a blue singlet and was hairy all over his body. His face was filled with the stumps of hair as if he had shaved but the razorblade he used was not sharp enough to cut the hair deep at the root. Hair on his chest was so overwhelming that it overflowed from his singlet. What was most unusual, however, was not his hair or his face. What was unusual was that this man held in his hands a knife. He held a 6-inch steel knife in his right hand and he was sharpening it on a piece of rock that he held in his left hand. The noise I had heard earlier was the noise of friction between steel and rock.

Somebody entered the room. My eyes widened when I saw who it was.

It was Katie.

The little seven-year-old girl walked into the room quietly. As she walked in she kept her eyes in front of her, not looking at the man with the knife or anything else. Her fingers were held in front of her. She was fidgeting with her fingers. Her lips were moving. It looked like she was saying something, muttering something to herself. Even though the window was open, I didn’t hear any noise coming from Katie’s mouth. I could, however, clearly hear the knife being sharpened

“Katie,” said the main in a very deep voice. “I think I told you not to come in here when I’m busy. Now go back to your room.”

“But Daddy…” The little girl stared forward as she said this, her eyes wide open. “I’m really hungry.”

“What did I tell you, Katie? Now that your mom’s not here to cook for you, you’re the only girl here and you’re going to have to learn how to cook for yourself.”

Katie spoke in a soft tone. She was so quiet I almost couldn’t hear her. “What can I eat? Yesterday I got lots of food.”

The man rolled his eyes and continued to sharpen his knife. “Katie, please, leave me alone.”

The little girl started to smile slightly but just as she did the man wiped that smile off her face. He put the knife on the table, leaned forwards towards the little girl, and slapped her face with his right hand. Shocked, Katie started crying. She ran out of the room, leaving her father alone to continue sharpening his knife.

I was scared now not only because this man was a bad father but he was also aggressive, and to make matters worse he was holding a knife. What the man did next would prove more unusual and shocking than anything I had ever seen in my life.

The man put the knife and rock down on the table on which he sat. He then unzipped his pants and let his penis flop out. The penis was rather hard. With his left hand he stroked up and down, making the penis larger and larger. He picked up the knife on the table with his right hand again and this time aimed the tip of the blade towards his thighs.

The man wore shorts, so his creamy white thighs were visible. The man kept masturbating with his left hand while pressing the tip of the blade against his right leg. Before long, bright red blood started to spill as the blade penetrated his skin. As the blood started to spill, the rate at which the man pumped his penis seemed to increase. He was becoming more and more aroused by the sight of his own blood.

The knife suddenly dropped to the table with a loud clanging noise. Now that he wasn’t holding a knife, the man’s right hand was free, and he pressed a finger to the wound on his leg, smearing blood all over the forefinger on his right hand. He gasped as his left hand continued to pump his penis. The man brought this blood-stained finger to his mouth and started sucking on it. He was sucking on his own blood. As he did this his left hand started to increase its pumping rate. His hand moved on his penis so quickly now it was starting to blur. The man screamed out as he reached orgasm. I couldn’t watch anymore.

I returned back to the front yard--where the rusted car was--and found the kitchen window at the front of the house. When I looked through this window, I saw a very ordinary kitchen with white tiles and white walls. The white tiles and white walls, however, had brown stains. The refrigerator door was open and as I looked through an open window, I noticed that at the base of the refrigerator was little Katie. She was looking inside the fridge, probably trying to find food for herself.

The window was opened large enough so I could slip through, but it was a close fit and as I climbed inside the house into the kitchen, I had to land softly on the kitchen sink. Katie saw me enter. She stared at me curiously before remembering who I was. She then started to talk.

“Hello!” she said, smiling again.

Very quickly I put a finger to my lips and shooshed her. “Don’t make any noise.” I was standing in the kitchen now. “Are you hungry? Do you want some food?”

Katie nodded as she stared at me.

“I’ve got lots of sushi at home,” I said. “Do you want to eat some?”

The little girl stared at me some more. “Okay,” she said plainly, nodding just a little bit.

I put out my hand towards her. “Do you want to come with me? We’ll go back to my house.”

The little girl put her hands in mine. The moment her hand made contact with mine, I led her towards the front door.

“Hey, you!”

I turned around and saw Katie’s father. He was standing in the kitchen looking at me as I held Katie’s hand near the front door, which was now open. The man’s right hand was completely red from his own blood. Blood flowed down his right leg all the way down to his feet. Some of it leaked on the kitchen tiles.

“Hey, you’re the guy at the police station! What are you doin’ with my girl?”

I grabbed Katie by the waist and lifted her, probably more roughly than I should have, and I ran as fast as I could as I bolted into the front yard. It was futile though. With a small child in my arms, I couldn’t run as fast as a grown man holding nothing. The man caught up to me in a matter of seconds before tripping me.

When I fell to the ground, Katie flew out from my hands and rolled on the grass. As I looked back up, I saw the grown man over me. I saw him move quickly before feeling pain on my backside as he kicked me on the back. When I screamed, the man backed off a little and caught his breath. He watched me as I squirmed on the grass.

As I got back up, I realized I was panting hard. All that running had exhausted me.

Before I had a chance to say anything, the man lunged at me and tried to grab me. I tried to push back. The man grabbed my clothes and swung me around, but I had also grabbed his clothing and as he swung me around he swung himself as a result. Both he and I spun around for a while before I felt my legs trip over an uneven piece of dirt on the ground. As I fell, I found myself falling on the grown man, but my fall was violently disrupted. The grown man below me fell on the rusted car. His back landed against a scrap piece of metal--a sharp piece of metal sticking out from the car. The piece of metal had impaled him as he fell, entering through his back and coming back out through his left breast. Since I was on top of the man, the metal stabbed me on the right nipple, but the cut was only a quarter of an inch deep. When I finally caught my breath, I realized I was looking into the eyes of a dead man. As I got up, I looked down at the man lying on the car. Blood poured out from underneath him.

Katie lied on the grass nearby and watched in horror. She had witnessed her father’s death. I looked at her and actually took a step towards her. She changed focus from her father to me. When she saw me, she got up and took a step back.

Looking at myself, I noticed that blood was flowing from my right breast. Enough blood came out that my bright yellow windbreaker had developed a large bloodstain. Most of the blood was probably from Katie’s father.

I took another step towards the little girl, desperate to get my hands on her, but she took two steps back for my one step, and as I realized that every step I took towards her actually increased the distance between me and her, I stopped completely and let the little girl run away.

A bloodstained boy chasing a child might make bystanders nervous, so I took off my bloodstained windbreaker and threw it into a bush.

----

ONE MONTH LATER

I walked to my bedroom window and looked out into the suburbs. It was afternoon and the clouds were grey. The houses all looked serene. Most houses had many cars parked in the driveway. It was Christmas, and government regulations forced most businesses to close today. This was why most people stayed at home, which was why so many cars were in the driveway.

The living room looked different during the holiday period. Although we still had artwork on the walls and antiques displayed on benches, we also had a Christmas tree in one corner of the room. The couch was in the middle of the room and Dad was sitting on it. He watched TV by himself. From the living room I could see outside through giant glass sliding doors into the backyard. The sun was setting outside.

We adopted Katie permanently. She was now legally my little sister. My parents initially wanted to be fashionable and adopt an infant girl from China, but now that we had Katie we were going to postpone the Chinese adoption because my parents didn’t want to take care of too many children at once.

My eyes scanned the living room again. Katie sat by the many presents piled up underneath the Christmas tree. The little girl wore a pale lime green tank top and a denim skirt that went down to her thighs. She wore black socks with no shoes. The socks were short and barely covered her shins. Her smooth legs were exposed to me. She saw me approaching and looked up at me.

“Do you have a present for me?” she asked.

I kneeled down on the carpet. “Yes, I do have a present for you.”

She giggled before leaning underneath the Christmas tree. "It's not here," she said.

“It’s in my bedroom.”

“Can I see it?”

“Come up to my room then.”

Katie followed me as I walked out of the living room. Both she and I arrived in my bedroom a few minutes later.

I kneeled on the carpet and took out my Christmas gift. The little girl closed the door behind her as she entered. Sensing darkness outside, she turned on my desk lamp and sat on my bed. Since the desk lamp faced down on my desk, most of the light in the room was a reflection of light bouncing from the surface of the desk.

“Here it is,” I said, holding up a box.

Katie grabbed the big box and started tearing away the wrapping paper. When she tore off all the wrapping paper, she held up the box and said, “What’s this?”

“It’s a box. Open it up.”

The little girl opened the box. Inside was a small dog lying in a pile of shredded newspapers.

She looked at me. “You got me a puppy dog?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I like it!” She reached inside and touched the dog with a finger. “Why is it not moving?”

“It’s tired from being in a box for so long,” I said.

Lily stared at the dog for a few seconds before looking up at me. When we made eye contact, she smiled briefly.

Elron walked into the room and the dog started barking.

----

I woke up and before my eyes was the bedside clock whose LED display read 9:00 AM. This was unusual because usually I got up much later, maybe four hours later. When I noticed someone poking me through my pajamas, I turned around and saw Katie. She was also in her light yellow pajamas.

“Philip,” said Katie. “I’m hungry.”

I complained. “You’re always hungry.”

Since my mom and dad often worked, I often had to babysit the little girl. I pretend I didn’t like this, but really I did.

I got out of bed and put on my slippers. “What do you want to eat?”

“I want pancakes.”

“That takes a long time to make.”

“I’ll go have a shower and when I finish it will be ready. Okay, Philip?”

I loved it when Katie had a shower. As I heard the little girl scurrying off into the bathroom, I loaded up my computer. You see, I’ve installed a high definition spy camera in the bathroom. This camera beams the images back to my PC.

When I loaded up the program, I saw Katie standing in the shower naked. The actual camera was inside the shower, behind one of the tiles near the soap holder. There was a small hole in the wall that everyone thought was for leftover water from the soap holder to drain. I had to zoom out a little to see most of Katie’s beautiful body. In particular I liked the little girl’s hairless vagina. It was so small and cute.

Whenever my mom had a shower she would furiously rub her whole body. It was as if she were trying to get the job over and done with as quickly as possible so she could get out and do something else. Katie, on the other hand, often took her time in the shower. As I watched her, I noticed she was barely moving, just letting the warm water trickle down her body.

I pulled out my penis from underneath my pajamas and started masturbating.

Katie has been my little sister for under a month now. During that time I had kissed her on the mouth once. She was trying to mimic what she had seen on TV. The kiss only lasted two seconds though because Katie complained it felt funny. Another time little Katie was scared and wanted to sleep in my bed. While she slept with me I rubbed my penis on her body. It reminded me of when I first kidnapped her. I haven’t done anything more extreme than that because I didn’t want her getting upset when she grew up. I didn't want her to hate me, and maybe if she knew I sexually abused her she would hate me. I’ve been recording videos and pictures of the little girl so much that I had almost 20 gigabytes of CDs with images of her. It was all encrypted of course, all stored away for my private needs.

I have already installed a spy camera in the shower, but my next plan is to install a spy camera in the family toilets so I can get audio-visuals of my little sister’s intricate vaginal and anal movements as she defecated and urinated. I would experience the sight, the sounds, but unfortunately not the smells. This was my next step once I got tired of masturbating to images of my sister naked in the shower.

I may not be the best brother, but at least little Katie wasn’t with her old father.

THE END