Diary
by Arty

Cotton wool clouds dotted an impossibly blue sky. Life
couldn't be better. I lay back against what I had come to
think of as 'our tree'. It was where I had seen her for the
first time. I smiled as I let myself remember the joy of our
first meeting. Even though we had only been eleven and
twelve it had been love at first sight for me. Since then
we'd been pretty much inseparable for almost nine years,
through school and college. The tree had been witness to all
of the important events in our relationship: first kiss,
first caress, first... well, you get my drift. Now it seemed
that it would be the scene of our betrothal, first and last;
I fingered the little box in my pocket. For all our intimacy
I hadn't thought of Beth as the marrying kind, but I'd
changed my mind when I'd found her diary, here, under this
very tree.

At first I'd resisted the temptation to read it, finally,
though, I succumbed and I leafed through the pages trying to
skim them and somehow absorb the meaning without actually
reading the words. I became enthralled though, as she
described the deep connexion that she felt with me; how she
couldn't live without me; how much she loved me, and how
long she had waited for a love like ours. I'd been
astonished; the fact that I loved her had never been a
secret, but I'd thought that I knew that she had never felt
the same way about me. I lived in hope of course, but I'd
pretty much given up on the idea that she would ever love me
as more than an intimate friend. Now, however, it seemed
that she'd finally made the leap from friendship to love.

When I'd confessed to her that I'd read her diary, she just
laughed and told me it didn't matter; that she told me
pretty much everything anyway. I'd said that she'd never
told me that she loved me. She'd looked at me strangely and
asked me why she should tell me that. I'd said that I'd read
it in her diary. Her confusion was obvious and we parted; I
promised to return her diary and we'd arranged to meet by
the tree. She told me that she had something to tell me and
the tree would be the best place to do it.

I lay back and watched the clouds. While I waited for Beth I
opened her diary and started to read again about her
newfound love. Through my tears the reason for her confusion
became clear and I relinquished the hopes that I had for
this meeting. I knew what she wanted to tell me, and I
steeled myself to put her happiness before my own; to wish
her only joy and sweetness as she prepared to marry her
first love and not me.

I was her friend; I could do nothing less. I wiped my tears
away and turned towards the sound of approaching laughter.

-Fin-

--
/~arty