My Knight in Rusting Armour By Karen Blayne.

Oh by the way red tape first.

Copyrighted Karen Blayne 2012.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author.

I watched the military police car pull up on the drive through the window.  Kenneth I thought, it must be Kenneth didn’t they know his parents lived three houses down?  I went to the front door before they rang thinking to send them to the right house.

“Mrs. Symons?”  “Yes that’s me.”  I looked puzzled, “May we came in please?”  It was a death team, one male and one female military policeman.  This from the girl policeman.  “But I don’t have anyone in the military?”  “Yes we know, may we come in?”  I nodded then stepped back and sat down in an arm chair trying to think desperately who they were here for.

“Do you have a daughter called Karen?”  “Yes but she’s not here at the moment she’s on holiday.”  “Unfortunately there has been an incident.”  I felt sick to the pit of my stomach.  “She’s not dead as far as we know but she appears to have been separated from her adventure holiday party.”  “Where?”  “She was last seen near the Afghanistan border.”  I looked up.  “There’s more isn’t there?”  The girl nodded.  “Her father tried to rescue her with a team of mercenaries.” She paused, “There was a fire fight.”  “Karen?”  “She wasn’t involved but her father and the mercenaries were unfortunate casualties.”  “Casualties?”  “They all died I’m afraid.”

I called up Charlotte from the basement to break the news.  “Hi mom I’ve just had the strangest message from Karen.”  It was the policemen’s turn to look puzzled.  “She’s got separated from her group and is being held captive by a group of Taliban.”  Thank god she was safe.  Maybe safe wasn’t quite the word I should use.  Charlotte looked enquiringly at the policemen, I waved my hand “Oh they’ve just come to tell me your father died trying to save her with a team of mercenaries.”  “Not his John Wayne act again.”  “Is there any hope for her?”  I asked the policemen.  They looked at each other then the sergeant spoke “While there is always hope in this case we think the chances of a rescue bid are remote since we don’t know exactly where she is but we suspect it isn’t in an area under Coalition control.”  Charlotte looked up and would have spoken had I not glanced a warning at her.  “Thank you for coming to tell us.  You must forgive me for showing not much grief at my ex husband’s death but we married young and the marriage didn’t last that long.”

Once we’d got rid of the policemen I asked Charlotte how could she have had a message from Karen.  She held out the printed message.  It looked gibberish to me.  i M bn held hEr followed by a stream of numbers.  Luv Krn.

“Oh mom don’t you know anything?  It’s in SMS speak and I looked it up and it’s in Afghanistan about 2 inches down from the top.   I had a second one dated a day later that says she’s the prize for whoever blows up the most Americans with IEDs this month.”  My mind was reeling, first my darling was in danger and now her twin was telling me that she was sending messages.  “But surely they would have taken her cell phone away?”  “But that’s the beauty of it she’s in her dancing shoes.”  Some where I’d got lost in this conversation.  “Dancing shoes?”  “They’re really cool you tap the toe twice on the ground then when you tap them afterwards it like makes a text message up.  They’re great if you want to send text messages in class without anyone knowing.”  For some reason I looked down at her feet.  One red sock and one green sock, oh well probably the latest fashion something else I can’t keep up with.

“So what are we going to do to rescue her?”  “I haven’t much idea I’m afraid.  What we need is a knight in shining armour to rescue my darling princess.”  I admitted.  “I don’t suppose they’re on special this week are they?”  “Even if they were, all we could afford is one on a bike.”  “Hey that’s it.”  I looked up.  “Merlin and his trike.”  Mike is a confirmed bachelor who lives next door, the girls call him Merlin because of his beard and because he has this amazing tricycle that he sort of sits back on.  I try not to ask him to do anything for us but the girls have been known to take their homework round to him if they get really stuck and he did help them build me a book case once for a surprise birthday present for me.  I was so proud of them, what other nine year old girls could build their mother a book case?

“We can’t possibly ask him.  Can we?”  “Of course we can he’s got a trophy in the basement with a rifle on it so he must know about guns and things.  We just have to put it the right way to him, sort of feed him up and smile sweetly.  You might have to wear a dress of course.”  I don’t even own a dress and she knew it.  I could tell she was up to something but if it kept her mind off her sister’s fate what harm could it do?  “Look we feed him then ask him whilst he’s in a good mood. I’ll do that beef thingy that takes hours could you do one of your famous apple pies? And I’ll look after everything else, I mean to say what have we got to lose?”  Whatever.

That afternoon she came back with dry cleaners garment bag a look of triumph.  “Got it.  Tracy wore this really great retro outfit to the Halloween hop.  Said it was like her grandmother’s best but it only ever been worn like twice and once was by Tracy at the hop, so it’s like really authentic.  She’s not quite as tall as you and she’s a bit less well endowed but it should fit with the right bra.”  She took it out a full skirted 1960s summer dress that my mother might have worn when she was young.  “It’s a bit dated isn’t it?”  “Yeah but that’s the whole point Merlin’s like yonks old and it looks just like the dress in the Marlon Brando motorcycle poster he has up on the basement wall.  Wear this, you’ll hit all his hot buttons at the same time and he won’t be able to do anything but agree to whatever we ask.”

I looked doubtful I mean to say I’ve really tried to bring up the girls sensibly, not to rely on looks but to be above that sort of thing but it was a beautiful dress and it was true Merlin was elderly, well just retired early according to the grapevine.  I held it up against me, not bad, it couldn’t hurt to try it on could it?  Charlotte opened up a second bag.  “Tracy says you have to wear the correct underwear to make it look right.”  She held up a roll-on “OhMyGod like what is this?”  “We’ll try it without first.”  I mean to say there are limits for heaven’s sake.

I put on the full petticoat then Charlotte helped me slip the dress over my head and did the zip up at the back.  I looked in the mirror.  “Wow Mom it’s perfect, you look great, irresistible.”  I didn’t look too bad in fact, at thirty four I still had a good figure, it just hadn’t been on display for quite a while, in fact I don’t think I’d ever displayed quite so much on top before.  “You don’t think there’s too much of me on display?”  I asked turning this way and that in the mirror.  “Oh mom the whole idea is to knock him backwards, like honestly I don’t think so why even Karen’s new tank top shows more than that.”  “Oh and which new tank top is that.” I asked dangerously.  Charlotte turned red and swallowed hard, teenagers can be so transparent sometimes.  “Tank top, oh I meant the one she tried on in the store.”  I could tell she was fibbing but now was not the time to probe.  That could wait until later.  “What about this?” she asked holding up the elasticated horror with its straps to attach stockings hanging down.  I looked at it in horror, I dived in my bottom drawer and came out with the gag stocking set the girls in the office had given me as a leaving present.  You know the sort intended to make you blush, however they were Dior black seamed silk stockings and the scrap of designer lace that held them up would give me confidence.  I even opened the tiny bottle of Chanel No 5 the girls had brought me for Christmas and dabbed a little on.  I let Charlotte put a little on as well.

Charlotte brought out her digital camera and we took a couple of photos of ourselves in the mirror.  As Charlotte said it wasn’t often she saw me in a dress and without the photo Karen would never believe I actually wore one.  I wanted one of her as well looking pretty with her hair freshly washed in a dress as well.  I really must buy the two girls at least a new dress each, Charlotte had grown taller in the two years since I’d brought that one and filled out as well.  I mean it had been a very respectable just above the knee length when purchased now it showed rather more thigh but the bobby socks and pigtails sort of tamed it down if you know what I mean.

We gathered up the slow pot in its special carry bag and I carried the apple pie ready to pop in the oven.  Well it only takes forty minutes and its better hot.  “Hi Merlin we’ve come to treat you to a meal.”  Charlotte held up the slow pot bag.  “I thought you’d already spoken to him?”  I asked pointedly.  Charlotte sort of looked guilty “I meant to but I forgot,   Merlin would you mind awfully if we came in and fed you?”  She looked so contrite that no one could have refused her.

He gave me an appreciative look “Somehow I think there might be a price to pay but come in anyway.  It can’t be much more than the Chinese takeaway would charge now can it?”  I kept silent letting Charlotte handle the small talk whilst I sneaked into his kitchen to pop the pie in the oven.  It was a nice relaxed meal, Merlin brought out a bottle of wine and poured Charlotte half a glass which she appreciated being treated as a grown up.  I don’t think she liked the taste though, red claret might be suitable for her beef thingy but on the whole I think she prefers white wine or even a soft drink.  My apple pie with homemade ice cream was well received, I have a recipe for homemade ice cream that works really well but I only bring it out of the freezer on special occasions.  Afterwards we sat drinking coffee.

“So what’s the price?” He asked.  I wasn’t sure quite where to begin.  “Karen’s being held hostage in Afghanistan and we’d like you to rescue her please.”  Blurted out Charlotte, well that’s it out in the open at least.  “Or rather we wondered if you have any suggestions to rescue her?”  I followed on more tamely.

“I think you want a team of marines don’t you.  I’m flattered you should think I could do anything but I’m retired these days and even before I retired rescuing damsels in distress was never my strong point.  Have you been I touch with her father?”  Merlin knows I’m divorced actually we’ve been next door neighbours now for more than ten years.  “He tried and failed.  He hired a team of mercenaries and my information is they all died in the attempt.”  “Is there no one else at all?”  “Not unless I go myself and I’m not certain I could talk a band of Taliban into giving up my daughter.”  “Let’s just go over this again.  You have very little money available, your daughter is somewhere in the middle of nowhere perhaps in Afghanistan, and you’d like her rescued?”

“Well she’s my twin so of course Mom and I want her rescued even though she can be maddening at times.  I’ve had two messages from her sent different days but they arrived together.  I know exactly where she is one of them had her GPS address.”  Charlotte scurried around in her hand bag and finally triumphantly brought out a USB memory stick.  “Look I’ve found it.”  “OK now let’s see what it can tell us.”  He plugged it into a laptop and looked at the message itself, then he did something else and suddenly there was lots and lots of squiggles before the message.  “Well that’s the reason the two messages came in at once.  They were picked up by a bus store and forward system and transmitted when it got to Kabul.”  “So we don’t exactly have instant contact?”  “No but we do know where she was when she sent the message and there is a good chance she’ll still be there for a few days.”

My stomach sorted of turned. Here was I thinking we could get in contact with my baby and now it seemed all a bit hit and miss.  “Can we do anything?”  “I’m very sorry but I can’t think of anything I could do.”

Charlotte looked rebellious and piped up “But brawn didn’t work I hoped someone who could figure out with my calculus homework could come up with a solution.  I think you’ve got too much blood flowing upwards to your brain.”  That sounded a very odd thing to say.  She dived in her handbag and pulled out a small packet, she placed something in her mouth then reached across and unzipped Merlin, fished his rod out and quickly covered it with her mouth.  Soon a pair of pigtails was bobbing up and down.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  My baby was into oral sex? 

“There that’s better, divert some of that blood.  Mom, don’t look so shocked, Miss Fisher told us all in sex-ed class it’s better to have one in the mouth than a bun in the oven and all the girls had to practise putting a condom over a model, I did it right first time.”  Well yes but….  Charlotte was already scrabbling in her hand bag once more. This time she came out with a soft rubber topper massager.  Moments later she had brushed my full skirts up over my stocking tops and had pressed the head to the top of my thighs.  I saw Merlin’s eyes open wide and then I melted, I mean really melted.  I mean to say for the last fourteen years whilst bringing up the girls I’ve been the model of respectability but somehow fourteen years of hormones had been sitting there waiting to be released and with the mixture of the attention I was getting from Merlin and the vibrations from the massager they flooded out with a vengeance, trying to make up for lost time.  The massager was removed just as I felt something major was about to happen.  “Miss Fisher said that you look more attractive if you’re already aroused.”  Damn Miss Bloody Fisher I didn’t want to hear another word from her.  “Mom I don’t have any experience in seducing people so I think you’ll have to take over seducing Merlin.  Perhaps he’s got some etchings in his bedroom he’d like to show you?  Anyway there’s a program on TV in five so I’ll leave you two to it.  Bye.”  Charlotte slipped out the front door.

What could I say I’d been well and truly setup by a little scheming manipulating minx, still if it got Karen back for me what could I say?  Who was I trying to kid, what I needed right now was to be taken back to that delightful feeling I’d felt only a short time ago and Merlin wasn’t impossible, intelligent, fit, and just the right height even if he did have a beard.  Did I like men with beards?  I wasn’t sure, weren’t they supposed to be untrustworthy or what that just an old wives tale?  I certainly trusted him with the twins doing their home work.  I looked at Merlin, if anything he looked more aroused than I, what the hell.  “Have you any etchings upstairs?”  I enquired sweetly.  “You know I can’t remember perhaps we should step upstairs to see what we can find?”  He got up and held his hand out to support me which was just as well for some reason I was a little unsteady on my feet.  The heels just didn’t help.

Argh needless to say my efforts to appear elegant and sophisticated came to naught as my knickers got tangled up round my ankles.  Still we got safely to the bedroom and Merlin’s double bed.  Once Merlin had managed to unzip me, and I’d folded the dress up over a chair we kissed.  I was amazed I still remembered how, was it my arms up around his neck, running my fingers through his hair.  His beard seemed much softer than I would have imagined a beard to be.  I adored running my fingers through the hair on his chest.  My body seemed to have very definite ideas of what it wanted including getting rid of any clothing that stood between us.  I sort of just hung on for the ride as a multitude of sensations washed over me.

Finally he was inside me and I suddenly thought I’d better concentrate on making him want me again.  I raked my fingers down his back, I remembered having read about squeezing with your inner muscles in some torrid paperback romance I’d picked up at the airport by mistake one day, so I tried that.  It seemed very popular so I tried it again then thought I’d better try and make the poor man last a little longer, well Ruth had said her man got upset if he came within the first four minutes of having entered her and felt himself a failure and I couldn’t allow Merlin’s ego to be damaged now could I?  I needed it too much.  Boost his ego make him really want to do it he’d find a way I was sure and meantime the exercise was good for me.  I rubbed his nose and caressed his face then he surprised me with a burst of energy which just well I just hung on and let the waves of my first ever orgasm wash over me.  I was shattered, slated, and suddenly very sleepy so I snuggled up to him and rapidly fell fast asleep.

“Time to get up, we need to be out of here in ten minutes or the deal’s off.”  I woke up and shook myself.  Where was I?  I looked round the strange bed room.  Oh God did I really have two glasses of wine and end up in some one’s bed last night.  Then I remembered it was Merlin’s bed and I felt a bit better.  There was a knock at the door and Charlotte waltzed in with some fresh clothes.  “Hi, mom Merlin says I have to get you out the front door in ten.” Ten minutes, what about my shower, relaxing cup of coffee, and all the other things I like to do in the morning.  Normally I spent ten minutes on my hair alone.  I threw some clothes on, woops, parts of me were a little stiff this morning.  At least Charlotte had brought me some jeans.  Charlotte came back in with a travelling mug of coffee.  “Grab this and off you go.  Your handbag and passport are by the door.  Good luck.”  She kissed my cheek and I crawled down the stairs looking like a complete wreck.

Merlin stood by the door with an envelope, my small carryon bag, a backpack and my hand bag.  A red Roger’s van was pulling away from the curb.  “Good you made it.”  There was a whirling noise overhead and the next moment a helicopter landed at the end of the drive.  Marlin grabbed my hand and we rushed to the opening door.   Moments later we were airborne.  I looked down to see a police car with red and blue flashing lights pull up outside the house and Charlotte aiming a camera in our direction.  Drat the girl she knew I hadn’t had time to do my hair, teenagers are just impossible some times.  I heard the pilot ask “You’re covering the fine for landing right?” and Merlin’s reply “It’s OK I gave Charlotte the cash to pay in case they arrived.”  I hung my head as I swallowed my coffee.  For years I’d worked hard to build a reputation for respectability and now I was a criminal or at least an accessory to a criminal act and the entire road had witnessed my disgrace.

It seemed only a few minutes later we landed, this time next to a tiny jet plane.  We transferred and Merlin sat in the co-pilot’s seat at the front, I chose the nearest of the six empty seats.  “OK let’s go.  We pick the chairman up in an hour but we need to refuel first.”  I strapped myself into one of the plush leather comfy seats and we took off.  Ten minutes into the flight the pilot got up and came back to greet me.  “Hi I’m Al, first time I’ve meet Mike other than on the net of course but we’ve worked together building planes in Flight Simulator for years.  Glad to be of assistance.  Now you’ll need to work the coffee machine that’s back here.” He showed me how it worked “Now the aircraft galley oven is a steam convector oven, its simple to use. It takes a bit longer than the Microwave you’re used to but there is no microwave radiation to upset anything.  The meals are on the left, the Chairman’s are clearly marked and you just wait until he feels hungry.  He prefers his served on these china plates and may ask you to join him.”  He passed me a cardboard box with the steam heat instructions on the label. “Breakfast since I gather you didn’t have any this morning.  You do have your passport don’t you?”  I scrabbled in my handbag and produced it.  “Good we should be in the UK in about eight hours.”  He turned his back on me and carrying two cardboard boxes one marked co-pilot and the other pilot he went to sit down next to Merlin.

I followed.  “Merlin what’s happening?”  “Hey she called you by your forum name. Does she visit as well?”  “No but her daughters were the first to call me that years ago and I thought I might as well stick with it on the forum.”  He turned back to me “Well when you told me how much money we had available last night I thought we need to do this rescue on a shoe string so I got onto the Flight Sim Forum and a few guys were kind enough to offer assistance.  So at the moment we’re working our passage to the UK, by the way you’re the flight attendant for the Chairman.  There we become journalists and I hope to cadge a ride from the UK military down to Afghanistan.  Lorna has a grandson in the National Guard who might be useful to us.  Trevor is working on getting us transport once we get there but that part isn’t quite settled yet.  There is a sort of informal project team working round the clock and has been since last night on making it happen.”  “You mean we’re really going to rescue Karen?  We stand a chance?”  “We’re going to make the attempt and yes I think we stand a very good chance.”  I moved back to the leather seats and scrambled in my carryon bag looking through what I had suitable to wear as a flight attendant.  At least I finally had time to do something with my hair.

We came screaming into land and taxied over to the fuel truck.  I stayed seated.  Then we moved away and a limo drove up.  A blue suited business man stepped out and clambered up the steps handing me his bag as he stepped onto the plane.

Moments later we were at the end of the runway and soon I felt us become airborne.  Ten minutes later the seat belt sign went out and I offered to make the Chairman a cup of coffee.  He looked up from his lap top and thanked me.  Two hours later he raised his head.  “Would you like to join me for lunch?”  I nodded and followed the instructions taped on the box.  We’ll simply say it wasn’t your normal airline food.  Afterwards Al came back from the cockpit and had lunch followed by Merlin.

We landed at RAF Brize Norton that evening and a real Rolls Royce with its silver lady on the front drew up following a Range Rover.  Two uniformed Customs officers descended from the Range Rover and met the Chairman at the foot of our short set of steps. They quickly glanced at his passport then he was whisked off into the Rolls which gleamed in the flood lights.

Next our passports were inspected and finally one of those funny British square looking light blue jeeps rolled up and Merlin and I were waved aboard.  We rounded a hanger only to see a flood lit parade ground of men in dress uniform quickly forming up complete with a Brass Band.  "Oh dear I was afraid of this." muttered Merlin, "Have you ever inspected a guard of honour before?"  This was a bit like asking me if I'd ever driven an ocean going yacht or one of those massive eighty foot long tractor double trailer sets you see on the highway but I could smile with the best of them.  I looked up at him and fluttered my eye lashes.  “No but I saw the Dutch Queen do it in a film once.”  The jeep drew to a halt at a real red carpet.  An officer in full dress uniform, absolutely acres of brass and ribbons stepped forward and saluted us.  “We are extremely honoured to finally meet you sir.  I’ve arranged passage for you out to Afghanistan as requested but first if you and your companion would honour us by inspecting our guard of honour.”  We strolled past the guard of honour, I rather fancied the third one on the second row but Merlin said I couldn’t pick one out to take home with me when I whispered the question to him, rotten spoilsport.

It looked as though all the formalities were finally finished when there was a commotion amongst the officers.   One was on a cell phone, he spoke to the important one at the front then stepped towards Merlin and I.  “Royal Protocol, don’t turn your back on him, don’t speak unless spoken to and don’t touch him unless he offers to shake your hand.  It would be appropriate to curtsy madam.  Oh your name please madam?”   Moments later a helicopter descended a short distance away and out stepped himself in his trade mark double breasted suit.  Ducking under the rotating blades he dashed across to meet us.  Behind us the troops straightened their backs even more if that were possible.  “Mr. Michael Hudson and Mrs. Symons Sire.”   I curtsied for the first time since I was a little girl. “Very pleased to meet you, my son William was most appreciative of your efforts, very well done indeed.  We were all for putting you in the honours list for services to the RAF but we must say some of the colonial governments are a bit dashed touchy about that sort of thing these days.  Anyway must dash we have two more engagements this evening and we’re running a little late but I thought it was only a little out of our way so we’d drop by and say thank you and good luck in the future.”  With that he turned round and dashed back to his helicopter and flew away.

I was flabbergasted.  Just who was this neighbour of mine that royalty just dropped in out of the sky to say thank you.  William, that must be Prince William, I must remember to tell Charlotte I’d met his father even if it was only briefly.  “You look surprised at your companion’s welcome.”  I nodded, “Perhaps you didn’t know he was the coordinator of a Flight Simulator project to replicate one of our trainers.  Since it’s been available we’ve managed to get three times the number of pilots trained on half the number of aircraft.   Saved us millions just when budgets were being cut by the politicians and of course the software is in use by many of our allies.  22 Group can’t speak too highly of him.”  I looked at my knight with growing respect.  “Anyway sorry to rush you but you really need to arrive whilst it’s still night time in Afghanistan, if they can’t see you, they can’t shoot you down can they and to be quite honest we can’t afford to buy a another plane just at the moment.  We held up the regular flight to accommodate you so it’s all packed waiting for you to board.”  “Well thank you for the explanation Colonel.”  “Group Captain madam Group Captain, we still use the rankings we started with from our origins with the Royal Naval Air Service.”  We said goodbye to the Group Captain and his traditions and jumped back in the jeep to be driven to one of the largest planes I’ve ever seen.  “My orders say I’m to carry two accredited Canadian journalists who are here to show the folks back home how the different Coalition forces work together.”  We were what?  Merlin produced two cards from his back pack which were examined together with our passports then handed back, one to me.  Rogers Cable 22 accredited journalist it read.  My god didn’t he know that Cable 22 was the local cable channel that covered high school hockey?  Oh well just as long as it worked that’s all I cared about.  The seating arrangements left much to be desired to say the least however the medical officer dropped by with some sleeping pills so we could snatch a few hours sleep on the flight.

Afghanistan, we’d finally arrived.  Not quite as I’d imagined my first visit to the Middle East sneaking in a rapid descent just before dawn in a large military aircraft.  It was hot, exotic and dusty and my body didn’t know if it was morning, evening or night time.

“I’ve had the aircraft fitters put the trikes together for you but perhaps you’d care to check them yourselves?  We’ve charged them up but the lads thought it might be helpful to have a couple more batteries on board and we made a probe so you can link the two together electrically.”  I really did feel like Alice in Wonderland now.  These were military couldn’t we just jump in a helicopter and do the rescue thing?  Merlin looked over the trikes and the two wheeled trailer attached to the longer one then climbed aboard and tried them out.  He nodded his approval.

“Personally I’d like to have done more but from what I understand you’re going into one of the more remote areas and we just don’t have the resources we’d like to have available.”  Oh so no helicopter then, did this mean we were going to travel the rest of the way by tricycle?  “We had a think about the trailer and where you were going to carry them and in the end we rigged a hoist up so you could just tie them on top.”

Merlin turned to me “I’m certain you have a hundred questions but if they could wait an hour or so I’d be grateful.” What was another hour after all?  I was getting good at this nodding thing.  We grabbed a cab, well it had four wheels I think and a driver and shot across Kabul missing two buses, by inches, I just closed my eyes and prayed.  We paused at a seedy office and Merlin went in leaving me alone with the cab driver.  When he came out he handed me a folded card that was covered with symbols and had an impressive government stamp on it.  “Keep that you might need it.”  I put it in my handbag and shrugged.  We headed back to the airport missing three pedestrians by inches.

We’d just got back when a police car rolled up.  I had visions of being put in jail for being in the taxi that nearly hit the pedestrians.  “Michael Hudson?”  Merlin nodded.  The policeman opened the rear door of the car and pulled out a huge axe and an odd looking stick and handed them across.  “We’re glad to be able to return the favour.”   Then off he went in a cloud of dust.  “Why would a policeman hand you an axe?”  “Well he’s part of the police force but not a policeman as such he’s a fire fighter, and in my youth I was a volunteer fireman so I called in a few old IOUs.  Fire fighters are a small close knit family.  The ones in Afghanistan are short of equipment so my old friends have put together a container of older donated equipment which is now on its way and in return they’ve lent me a fire axe.”  “And the weird looking stick?”  He laughed, “That weird looking stick is a Halligan bar, used by fire fighters throughout the world to open doors when they don’t have a key, named after New York fire fighter called Hugh Halligan who invented it.  It really needs a team of two to be fully effective but I used to be able to do most doors single handed in the old days.”

“Right well she’s already, I managed to find three sets of night glasses they’re in the cab, the apples and so forth are on the top bunk and we’ve lashed the trikes on top.  I managed to find a head scarf as well they can be a bit traditional in parts.”  I looked at the huge Volvo truck and trailer in front with the UNICEF logo on the side.  “You’ve done another deal?”  I asked.  “It’ll will get us safely to where we want to be and UNICEF were delighted to have it driven for free, all we need do is pay for the gas.  Up you get.”  I clambered in, it was quite roomy inside, sort of small bedroom with two bunk beds behind the seats.  “Our biggest problem will be jet lag and lack of sleep so we’ll just have to cat nap whenever we can.”  Merlin climbed up and handed me the manual.  I told him how to start the engine don’t men know how to read?  It wobbled, that’s the only way to describe it but as we pulled away it seemed to settle down with me telling Merlin about transfer range and over drive as we went.  We managed to escape the city with only two loud blasts on the air horns and soon we were rolling along the highway and eventually I found the air conditioning controls.

Merlin pulled over once we were clear.  “Now it’s your turn to drive.”  I looked at him in horror.  “It will take us three days if I do all the driving half that time if you do some.”  “But I don’t even have a licence.” I bleated, “Of course you do I just gave it to you.  Genuine Afghanistan full driver’s licence I just paid 50 euros for it.”  “OK let me try but then you have to explain everything that’s going on.”  We switched seats and I started the engine up and looked in the rear view mirror to see if it was clear to pull out.  “Merlin are we supposed to have two big trailers or has some one pulled in behind us?”  “You’re driving an officially eighty five foot long 60 ton dual trailer train.”  “I am?  Why officially?”  “Well with two forty foot containers on trailers and the cab we are just a little over the 85 feet if someone really measured it.  Still if you could just count them from time to time to see both are still there that might be an idea.”  “Couldn’t we have hired a car or something?”  “Yes but there are only two ways to travel safely here, one is by overloaded local bus and the other is an aid truck and even then if you’re carrying food you’re likely to get robbed.  I thought you might prefer an air conditioned truck with a bit of privacy.”  “What are we carrying?”  “50 tons of books, small lap tops, Lego, solar water kits and panels and led lights.”  “Lego?”  “Very popular with the children, if they can play with Lego they’re motivated to come to school.”  What could I say?  “The solar panels?”  “Lighting in the evening so they can do their homework.” “Now where are we going and what is your plan?”

“We’re going to a number of villages and dropping off supplies in each.  The furthest village is close to where Karen is being held and the reason her messages were delayed is because they were picked by the local bus then stored until it got back to the city.  When we get closer the wireless internet connection on the truck should pick up her dancing shoes and with the satellite connection hopefully Charlotte will be able to relay a message for us. If we are really lucky we might be able to establish a local Skype telephone connection depending on her battery level.”  “Then I suppose we simply just drive up and ask a group of armed men for her?”  I asked.  “Well no I thought we might go for a trike ride at night and slip her away during the hours of darkness, besides we haven’t got all our rescue equipment yet.  Just trust me a little longer.”  What choice did I have?

I pulled the truck away with the handbook besides me so I could watch where the little pointer was supposed to be on the rev counter before I moved up to the next gear.  It was surprisingly easy to drive I mean my little Honda was a standard well when the salesman had told me how much extra an automatic was there was no way I was buying an automatic so that wasn’t a problem and the steering wheel was easy to turn as well, not at all as I had imagined and once I’d worked out you went through one range of gears then you just went back to the beginning and started all over.  Once you got used to them the trailers seemed no bother you just pointed the front bit and the rest followed.  With a give me a call in a couple of hours Merlin crawled onto the curtained off bed behind and I was left alone to drive along the dusty highway.  He looked tired poor thing so I tried to give him an extra hour so it was three hours later I was getting tired so I pulled the truck over and gave Merlin a call.  We stretched our legs and had a bite to eat before we climbed back into the cab.  As I lay stretched out on the bed I reflected this was only the second time in the last fourteen years I’d been alone with a man in a room with a bed and I couldn’t even let him take advantage of me, life was so unfair but if my knight rescued my darling daughter at least I’d have him for six months and you never know what might happen in that time frame.  I fell asleep dreaming of being the prize at the end of the month to which ever commodity trader made the most profit.  Well a girl can fantasize can’t she?

I was back driving just after daybreak when I saw the road block ahead.  I called out to Merlin what should we do.  I heard a voice behind me say, “Road block here.” Then he crawled out into the passenger seat and handed me the head scarf “This might be tactful.”  We drew up at the road block and a group of armed men pointed their guns at us.  Merlin seemed to shrivel up and look older as he got out of the cab. 

I lifted a phrase book out and we started pointing to sentences such as we were carrying school books and toys.  Guns was pointed at we shook our heads and pointed to No Guns.  They opened the back of the rear trailer and lifted out a few boxes.  They got put back after they could see they really did contain books and Lego bricks.  They seemed to brighten up when they saw the Lego and the atmosphere lightened.  We were let through, an old man and a woman were no threat it seemed.  We pulled away, Merlin driving just a little bit faster than normal.  It was about ten minutes later when I heard the explosions behind us followed by a small plane that flew low to inspect us, seemed to waggle its wings in greeting then flew off.

“Merlin” I began “Yes?”  “Those explosions behind weren’t anything to do with the road block were they?”  “I wouldn’t be surprised, a group of Taliban with no civilians would be a tempting target for the coalition forces besides it will be one less potential problem on the way home.”  “Oh.”  It sort of brought it home to me this wasn’t a game and I really had asked this man to risk his life saving my baby.  Still as I crawled on to the bed to grab some sleep whilst I could I consoled myself that really little boys like playing with guns.

We paused for breakfast a couple of hours later.  Merlin looked at his computer then dug around in the storage boxes below the lower bunk before passing a box up.  Mygod a bread maker, not only that but exactly the same type as I had at home, good because it had taken me three months of experimenting to get the recipe right.  “Fresh bread for lunch?”  I asked, “Sounds like a good idea now somewhere here are some ingredients.”  He passed me some plastic boxes full of flour, yeast and so forth.  I dug the butter out of the fridge and put together a loaf then we put it on the floor and plugged it in after Merlin looked at his watch then set the timer.  I climbed into the bottom bunk and put my head back down for a minute or two.

The truck hummed along the road then I felt it slowing down.  So I poked my nose out of the curtain.  “Another road block?”  “Yes but this time it’s the Americans.”  “Oh good then we’re OK.”  “Not quite these are a very special group of Americans that will help us, they just don’t know it yet.”  He pulled the truck up well short of the road block.  “I need you to go and charm them, ask for a private Jenkins and tell him Merlin is here and to ask his grandmother who Merlin is.  Got that.”  “OK but why can’t you go and I’ll stay by with the truck?”  “I have a beard and a Casio watch, they’d have me flown out to Cuba in no time.”  I wondered why I hadn’t thought of that myself as I picked up my Tilley sun hat and climbed down.

It seemed a very long walk to me to the road block.  “Halt right there Madam.  Raise your hands in the air and turn round slowly.”  I did as I was requested.  “Now take your blouse off and turn round slowly again.”  Again I did as requested before calling out indigently “What is this some sort of Strip Tease to pass the time?”  “Let her walk in Rawlins, she couldn’t fake that accent, besides her jeans are too tight to fit a bomb underneath.”  Never in my life had I imagined that wearing tight jeans might one day save my life.  How an earth was I suppose to charm these guys they regarded me with more suspicion than I’ve ever been looked at in my life.  “Hi could you help me please I’m looking for a Private Jenkins, I have a message for him from his grandmother.”  “Jenkins one step forward.” came the bark.  A young lad not much older than my babies stepped out from behind a pile of sandbags wearing all sorts of body armour, a helmet with things attached and carrying a gun that looked far too big for him.  “Yes marm.”  Now what was it I was supposed to say?  “Merlin is here and asks could you please check with your grandmother about his credentials.”  Seemed an odd thing to say to me but whatever, he lifted his phone up and called.  “Grandma do you know anyone called Merlin?”  He looked at me.  “Are you sure about the beard?”  “No no Merlin is in the truck I’m just Mrs. Symons travelling with him.”  I turned and motioned Merlin to come forward.  The big Volvo slowly rolled forward and then Merlin hopped out of the cab carrying what looked like a guitar case.  Guns were cocked.  “Just put the box down on the ground and walk slowly back.”  Mygod talk about suspicious.  A small robot trundled forward with a shot gun aimed at the package.  It extended an arm and sniffed.  This was crazy, I turned and walked across to the box and pulled it open.  I very slowly held up the guitar it contained.  “For Private Jenkins from his grandmother.”  I heard Merlin announce.  I passed the guitar over to Private Jenkins.  “Hey man that’s not just a guitar that’s a real Martin man.”  There was a ping from the cab.  Oops my loaf was ready.  Guns were cocked once more.  “Relax guys it’s just my bread maker.”  “Bread, real bread?”  “God I haven’t seen bread in months.”  Eyes were opening wide.  I stepped across to the cab and lifted out the pan and placed it on a rack so it could cool down.  I turned to see the stern looking troops had turned into a group of hopeful teenagers whose mouths were watering.  “Would you like some?”  I asked innocently.

I served them fresh bread with strawberry jam for lunch.  These guys didn’t need charming just feeding.  I stood back next to Merlin.  “You set me up didn’t you?”  He tried to look innocent.  “What did you do ask Charlotte which bread maker I had?  My god she’s in on it.  Fresh bread for lunch my foot, I should have guessed when you set the timer.  What else do you have planned?”  “Well your apple pies are superb.”  “and just how am I supposed to make apple pies in the middle of nowhere?”  I walked over to the truck and looked on the top bunk to find a box of cooking apples, a bag of potatoes, a fan oven and a deep fat fryer.  I turned and glared at him.  “What a coincidence?”  “We need their cooperation.”  I thought about my darling baby and resisted the urge to grab the sergeant’s gun and shoot the pig.  Well one thing was straight no way was I going to make pastry, peel a whole box of apples and one of spuds by myself.

“Sergeant, if could you find me two volunteers to peel apples and spuds I think I might find you some apple pies for tea.”  “Johnson seeing as it’s your birthday so you just got lucky, kitchen duties for the rest of the day.  Jenkins put that guitar down and join him.”   Merlin took himself off with the sergeant whilst I got organised in the troop’s makeshift kitchen.  Merlin had at least brought a food processor so the pastry wasn’t too bad.  I looked through the rations the soldiers have and went to have a look what else was hidden in the truck.  I discovered beef burgers in the bottom of the fridge sort of just thawing out.  Another storage bin gave up some dried fruit and a gas barbeque, so I attached the gas cylinder to it.  The freezer yielded ice cream.  I didn’t know what Merlin expected from these guys but at least I could see they had a decent meal.  Jenkins managed to find me two eggs so I even managed to throw together a birthday cake for Brad.  I mean to say I never was very good at using surnames like the boys do so Johnson quickly became Brad.

If ever you’re feeling a bit depressed about your cooking I highly recommend cooking a meal for a National Guard unit that has been living on warmed up army field rations for three months.  It really does wonders for your ego.  Every scrap was licked from their plates.  Fries, burgers, apple pie with ice cream, definitely not a balanced meal but nothing complicated but you would have thought it was nectar the way they ate it all up.

Merlin sneaked up to me and said he’d managed to scrounge all the toys he was after and a few more.  Could I spare a few moments just to sign some papers.  Sergeant Wilkins was there with the young lieutenant.  “If you’d just like to sign here, here and here madam then I can let Mike have his toys.”  I looked at the papers, the first was an enlistment form for the National Guard, the second was a receipt for various bits of equipment including a Barrett whatever that was and finally there was a letter of resignation dated in a week’s time.  “But I’m.”  “No need to worry the lieutenant with minor details madam if you’d just sign below under where I have already filled in your details.”  I looked at Merlin, “Unfortunately I’m too old.” I signed and passed the papers over to the Sergeant to pass to the lieutenant for his initials.  “Are you quite certain this is legal sergeant?”  Asked the lieutenant “Perfectly Sir, in times of emergency you are empowered to enrol any citizen of the United States of America into the National Guard.”  “Is it really such an emergency sergeant?”  “Yes Sir if your platoon doesn’t get its promised apple pie after three months on field rations they may be close to mutiny Sir.  In fact I would be hard pressed to find two reliable men to act as your personal body guard Sir.”

“Do I need a personal body guard sergeant; I seemed to have managed very well up without until now.”  “Yes Sir I would advise it Sir especially as 25% of our casualties are from friendly fire and if morale was low the troops may not keep quite such a good look out Sir.”  The lieutenant looked at little shaken by the words “As you say Sergeant as you say.”  As he initialled the papers and returned to his quarters.  “Sergeant, I do hate to mention this but I’m Canadian not American.”  “How fortunate you forgot to mention it before my officer initialled the papers.  Now considering you have already applied for your discharge as you are entitled to do within the first 14 days after enlisting I think it would keep the paper work straighter if we just didn’t mention that little fact to the lieutenant, we wouldn’t want him worrying over little things now would we.  Private Symons I would remind you that that I am now your superior.  I order you not to speak to the lieutenant unless spoken to and not to raise the matter with him.  You must trust your sergeant absolutely to know what is best for you.”  “Yes Sergeant.”  I went back to the kitchens and left Merlin explaining how to connect up a military style box to a laptop with a USB cable to access the 400 films that were stored in a compressed MPEG 4 format on it.  I hoped Merlin knew what he was doing.

After the meal Merlin was going to catch up on a bit more sleep then we’d set off as soon as I was ready but we hadn’t far to go to the first stop.  I was torn between lapping up all the attention thirty young soldiers who hadn’t seen a live North American woman in three months could give me and dashing off to rescue my baby.  She was safe until the end of the month so why shouldn’t her mother have a bit of fun.

Jenkins who by now was Tony by now brought out his guitar and we gathered round for a sing song.  I borrowed the guitar and taught them some extremely rude troop songs that I’d learnt from a CD I’d picked up by mistake thinking it would give me an insight into the social aspects of the Second World War, I have an interest in history.  Well yes it did but honestly it was really bawdy, I keep it hidden away from my babies and my mother when she comes to call.  Still they were old enough to get shot so I thought they were old enough to hear them.  They seemed to enjoy them even though I even had to explain some of the terms those poor boys were so innocent. Needless to say the sergeant went a bit red sometimes as many of the songs made references to their sergeant which seemed to cheer up the lads even more.

When my repertoire of bawdy songs had run dry I handed Tony his guitar back.  I’d never handled a Martin before but I seemed to play so much better than with it than the guitar I’d grown up with.  I was most impressed with Tony’s grandmother’s choice or perhaps it was just the audience any way my singing was very well received.  No lights were allowed in case they made it too easy for the enemy so it was fortunate that I knew the tunes off by heart.

Eventually as the evening grew darker Tony started to strum a stripper’s tune and everyone looked expectantly at me.  Well who was I to disappoint them?  My exhibitionist streak which I never knew existed until then came forth.  I danced slowly in the moonlight accompanied by the slow gentle music coming from the guitar.  Shedding my blouse was no problem, gently unbuttoning it and slipping it gently off one shoulder then the other, but tight jeans, how the hell do you ease them off gently.  Then I remembered reading in a history book a tale of some English World War II advice on making clothes last longer.  Best removed by a good strong yank, they’d corrected it in later editions of course but here was I surrounded by good strong Yanks.  I motioned one to hold me by the shoulders and two more to take my legs.  I undid the zipper then just simply said “Start the tug of war with my jeans.” Moments later they were off and I continued to dance. 

Even in the moonlight I could see bulges, I’d always wondered what it would feel like to be a lap dancer.  I became a butterfly, I danced, I teased, as soon as one became hard beneath my wiggling butt I’d move onto the next, kissing them gently on the lips in greeting as I arrived.  I let birthday boy undo my bra then I moved his hands up to cover my exposed breasts to keep me decent.  I circled round again letting each of them fondle my breasts, and run their fingers over my hardening nipples.  I even let them brush their fingers over my silk knickers but one movement to push them aside and I flitted to the next waiting lap, after all a girl has her limits.  Eventually I found myself back at Brad’s lap.  I stretched out with my back towards him and guided his hand over my knickers and holding it in place I slipped my right hand underneath my knickers masturbating with my fingers, feeling his fingers almost touching mine through the silk.  His other hand cupped my breast, I lay there luxuriating knowing just how much he wanted me made me feel powerful.  I rolled over to face him and undid his shirt buttons, running my fingers over his nipples.  Something brushed the back of my hand so I slipped my exploring fingers into his shirt pocket to see what it was.  Naughty boy carrying a condom, well now was the time to try out that trick of my daughters wasn’t it.  I ripped open the packet with my teeth then undid his trousers with my free hand.   That was a nice bulge wasn’t it?  I sucked the condom into my mouth then slid his trousers and under pants down before slipping the condom down over his hardening prick in one slick movement.  I’ve never given anyone a blow job if that’s what’s called before maybe if I had all those years ago life would be different now.

No staying power these youngsters, I did my very best to make him last only using my tongue and lips very gently whilst stroking his thighs with my fingers but all too soon he was limp.  The condom caught his sperm though so I didn’t have to deal with it.  How on earth was I going to get out of this gracefully surrounded by a platoon of National Guard.

“Right you’ve had your fun now it’s time to pay Mrs. Symons in kind.  Jenkins you will manipulate her clitoris with your tongue, Kelly your tongue will address itself to Mrs. Symons right nipple, Smith to her left nipple.  There are two slices of apple pie for the three of you if she reaches an orgasm after twenty minutes, one slice after five minutes, and since it’s the honour of the platoon at stake your all on fatigues for a month if anyone’s tongue stops moving, she doesn’t reach an orgasm or she reaches it in less than five minutes.”  “Jenkins don’t just stand there looking dumb, kneel before her and put your head between her thighs.  Use your combat knife to remove any clothing in the way and cover her hair with your mouth.  Watch her responses, the sensitive bit in the middle is her clitoris.  The rest of you will watch carefully and tomorrow morning I want list of signs that shows she is responding.  Is that clear!”  “Yes Sergeant.”

Not wanting to feel Tony’s combat knife slice through me in the dark I quickly slipped my knickers off and left them dangling around one ankle.  I really ought to get some with side bows for times like this.  Well with Merlin around a girl never knows when she might have to slip out of them gracefully and I always get them tangled up round my ankles.  I lay back and luxuriated in all this male attention then thought about what would happen to my poor lads if I came too quickly.  I started off trying to distract myself by remembering the twin’s birthday parties and how cute they’d looked in the school play, then I tried to remember the names of their friends, I ran the words to the songs through my head, no big mistake they were practically all about sex and being eaten.  I couldn’t let them be put on fatigues for a month, I tried reciting French verbs in my head, all the time I was well aware of three tongues moving over my nipples and elsewhere, and well at least Jenkins hadn’t quite found my clitoris yet, then the wrong French verbs started to appear.  I dug my nails into anything I could touch oops perhaps raking them down Sam’s back wasn’t a good idea as he bit down on my nipple in surprise.  I started counting Charlotte’s socks damn Tony had found my clit, I moved my hips and got his tongue moved a little to the side where it was more bearable.  Concentrate, concentrate on Karen, I told myself, my body was telling me a totally different message.

I lost it, or rather I lost myself in it.  I’d heard that technically you could have something called a multiple orgasm but its one thing to read about it and quite another to experience it.  I think all the lap dancing had me worked up as well, otherwise Tony’s tongue would never have had the effect on me that it did.  He didn’t know when to stop, it hit me again and this time it was like riding wave after wave of pure pleasure, it just kept on and on until eventually I was exhausted.  “I think she’s finished now lad, you’ve held her there for at least twenty minutes time to let her sleep it off.”  “Yes Sergeant.”  The sergeant helped me to gather up my scattered clothes, dress and he walked me back slowly to the truck.  “Thank you mam for all you’ve done for us, if it gets through their thick skin that women can get pleasure from sex as well as men as you demonstrated tonight we might see a little less wham, bam, thank you mam and anything I can do to help them through life and not get divorced etc. is all part of my job.  Nursemaid to a bunch of youngsters if you like but they’re good kids for the most part.  Here you are mam all safe and sound and good luck in your efforts.  I’d lend you a squad if I could to help but talking to Mike I think you might do better with his plan.  They’d hear my lads coming from twenty miles away.  Good night and Good luck.”  He held out his hand and shook mine.

I felt shaken as I climbed up into the cab.  “Finished corrupting the youngster’s then?” I heard Merlin’s voice in the dark.  “Yes just about.”  I replied wondering how much he knew.  “I recognised some of the tunes and words before I fell asleep.”  He stirred himself from the bunk and climbed into the driving seat and started the engine.  “First stop somewhere unpronounceable to drop the first lot of books off.”  I climbed into the bunk and pulled the blanket over me and collapsed.  By the time I’d woken up Merlin had already pulled up and had the first load unloaded. The boxes piled up by the side of the road.  I climbed out and saw him explaining on one of the OLPC computers how the solar panels fitted together to a young teenager.  Then he watched as the boy plugged the bits together so the light came on.

One of the younger women came up and spoke to me.  Her name was Habiba.  She spoke a hesitant English and asked where we had come from and where were we going.  She seemed more welcoming when she found out we weren’t Americans.  I took a map out and showed her our route.  When she found out we were going to her home village she asked very tentatively if she might come along with me and my husband to visit her family.  I explained that Merlin and I weren’t married.  She looked puzzled and asked didn’t I have any male relatives with me?  I explained no why should I?  This seemed to please her “You mustn’t tell anyone you aren’t married they might be shocked, but I can come?”  I looked at the map, her village wasn’t the furthest one so I called Merlin over and explained we had just acquired a native guide.  He just nodded and went back to using sign language.  I talked to Habiba and pulled out my notes from UNICEF.  Could she see if the village could produce any traditional wooden toys to be picked up on the way back and sold in western toy shops where they were very popular?  She took one of my handouts and wandered off into the village to see what could be done.

I unpacked a solar oven and set it up and using sign language demonstrated how to use it to one of the other younger women who seemed more open to new ideas. We put a meal together in one of her pots then left it in the oven.

Finally Merlin was satisfied that they had a rough idea how to use the toys we had brought.  If the LCD lighting and other solar toys were successful then they were cheap enough for the villagers to buy themselves.  I walked back with Habiba to the solar oven and we explained that although it took time to cook the energy was free but they would have to experiment to find out the best recipes.

We climbed into the cab, Merlin took the bunk and I started the engine.  Habiba looked on in amazement as I drove off.  Could she drive one?  How much did it pay?  Where would she get a licence?  Merlin handed a blank one up from the bunk.  “Write your name in, I brought a spare one in case we lost one.”  Habiba shrank back from him but I reassured her and after she’d filled in her name got her to climb in behind the driving wheel and we gave her her first lesson.  “But it’s so easy, and air conditioned as well, I could get a job doing this easily.”  I let Habiba drive as much as she wanted to after that.

It was rather cosy curled up to Merlin on the bunk bed, and at least we were together.  Under the blanket I could just guide him in and we let the vibrations from the truck do the work whilst we were chauffer driven by Habiba.  We got into a routine when we reached the villages, Habiba did the wooden toys thing, it seemed that word had reached some of the villages already so Habiba arranged for them to be packed in the same boxes that we had brought the computers and books in.  Merlin would find someone with a technical bent to set up the computers and the solar system and I did the solar oven pitch.  One village it was a young girl who was best at maths in the school so Habiba did the translation whilst Merlin did the sign language thing.

We got stopped at a road block but with Habiba with us we were soon waved through.  We dropped the rear trailer at a village about half way and the truck seemed livelier after that.  Not quite a car but it definitely accelerated faster.  We finally arrived at the last village unloaded and reloaded what wooden toys we could then turned round for the trip back.  The villagers gave us a couple of boxes for the next village as well, sort of parcel service if you like.  I thought perhaps we should have gone straight after Karen the first time we passed the turnoff but Merlin said he thought we would blend in better if the truck was facing the right way to come home.

About an hour before dusk we stopped by the roadside and whilst I cooked tea Merlin did little boy things like throwing his model electric plane which I christened Skylark, up in the air, then climbing up on top of the container and lowering the two trikes and bike trailer down.  Then he wondered round the truck and trailer lifting out black tubes and other bits before assembling them into four small plastic like pistols and one longer one, two with drum magazines.  I kept an eye on the laptop as the model plane flew over the village five miles away down in the valley.  Just one pickup truck was parked there.  “Merlin where did all the guns come from?”  “Well the Barrett came from the Americans, they’re the only ones who routinely have the bullets with the white and green tips.  The XM8s came from the British but again the bullets came from the Americans.”  “Why didn’t we borrow everything from the Americans?”  “The Heckler & Koch XM8 is a weapons system that’s more reliable than the M16 but shoots the same bullets, however the Americans haven’t found a way to procure them easily except for some special forces so they are stuck with the M16 rife which is a bit long sometimes and a bit short other times and tends to jamb.”  OK leave that bit to the expert travel was definitely educational.

Skylark gave a beep, it had found a text message system looking for an internet connection.  Merlin configured the connection numbers so that Charlotte could send a message to her sister.  Neither of us thought we could mange that secret looking code the girls seemed to know.

We called up Charlotte with the satellite phone connection and she texted Karen then called us back.  My baby was still alive.

It looked like I was going to be the one with all the guns.  My trike had the long black tube with the name Barrett firmly mounted on the frame pointing backwards, and a small plastic pistol like gun clipped to the frame just behind the seat on one side and the longer one with the drum magazine on the other.  Merlin’s tandem just had the axe and the Halligan bar on one side of his seat and a small pistol like gun clipped to the other.  He attached the bike trailer to his tandem.  Next he opened up the container and slid a ramp down to the ground.  Down trundled the little robot that had sniffed the guitar case.  He coaxed it onto the bike trailer then attached more weaponry.  I went over to give it a smear of brown and black makeup and named him Robby.  He even gave Skylark a gun.  He carried two car batteries over to the trike, one went on the trailer next to Robby the other got placed in his pannier bag.  It all looked more Heath Robinson than James Bond to me.  Especially with the laptops clipped to the front and the fairings on the trikes looking like some modern art sails.  He explained the plan once more as we ate.

“What is my role and what is special about the green and white tips.”  “The green and white tip ammunition is designed to be used against things like engine blocks.  It will penetrate them so render the engine useless.  So your primary role is to disable any pickup trucks or anything else with an engine that could be used to chase us.  I’ll set up the targets up for you in the computer.  The second thing is we need a distraction for the guards.  One green and white tip round hitting the wall of their room will probably demolish the wall causing the roof to collapse on them.  You’re using the Barrett because it is a long range weapon so you should be safe from any small arms fire.”  “Can it be used to shoot someone if I have to?”  “Yes but it’s too big to use as a short range weapon and you only have five shots.  It will normally just go straight through someone so it doesn’t stop them as well as a bullet from the XM8.  However it is one of the few guns that can penetrate body armour.”  He rummaged around and dug out a manual.  “Here is the manual which explains how to change the magazine if you need to fire more than five shots.”  I felt more comfortable with a manual.  “If you need to shoot someone use one of the XM8s I’ve set them up to fire three rounds so if you miss with one shot you may hit them with one of the others.  The Barrett doesn’t do three shots at once.”  “Right so things in the distance Barrett, things close up XM8, longer barrel better for distance short one easier to swing round and point.  If I’m shooting the short one use the second finger on the trigger and point with the first finger.”  “And don’t forget Skylark and Robby both will have cameras and guns so if you see a target on either screen centre it with the mouse then left click to shoot.  Right click to change the gun selection in the case of Robby.”  I ran through the instructions in my head then repeated them back to make sure I had them clear.

I was to turn my trike round so it was facing away from the village then look at the screen of my lap top so that the mouse was over the pickup truck then left click, then I had to do the same for the wall of the house where Karen was but at the room away from hers.  Then my part was done other than to look at the laptop’s screen and click on Robby’s or Skylark’s buttons if need be.  Merlin would approach afterwards since the village dogs would be yapping by then anyway.

We pushed the trikes under the trailer then settled down for a brief nap, I took the bottom bunk and let Merlin have the top one.  At one a.m. Merlin’s watch beeped but he was fast asleep so I reached up and dug him in the ribs.  “Beep!  Beep!”  God that man could be grumpy in the middle of the night.  We got up and dressed, Merlin produced two IOTV vests for us to wear in a camouflage pattern and tossed a third onto the bike trailer.

He smeared the brown and black sludge on our faces so we didn’t stand out as much.  Then he tossed Skylark in the air before we donned our helmets and night goggles and set off downhill along the winding road to the village.  Downhill on the trike was fine.  I mean to say how were we going to manage on the way back uphill?  Skylark seemed to have the same night vision system as we had and I had to make sure I didn’t get too distracted by the pictures it was streaming back.  I called Charlotte again and we beeped Karen, this time I saw her Skype connection go green on the laptop in front of me, I conferenced in Charlotte.

“Hi Karen it’s your mom come to bring you home.”  “Mom there’s all sorts of armed guys here, it’s not safe for you.”  “It’s OK honey I’ve got my own knight in amour ready to sneak in and sneak you away.  I want you to lie on the ground with your hands over your ears just by the door and ignore any bangs you might hear, then someone will come through the door and guide you away.”  “OK mom, lie on the floor and don’t trip up the guy who comes through the door.  Got it, when do we start?”  “Charlotte will text you just before, that will save your battery.”  “Hi twin get ready to have your foot massaged.”

We manoeuvred my trike into place pointing away from the village.  Merlin set the sights up so the targets were pre-programmed into the computer.  Then he set off with Robby down into the village.  I watched him as he unloaded Robby off the trailer then attached the trailer to the back of Robby.  Next he mounted on the trike and both I and Charlotte heard his voice say first shot.  I applied the brakes loosely and clicked the mouse.  The trike jerked forward with a loud bang.  When it came to a rest I lined up for the second shot against the wall.  The trike jumped forward again.  Down in the village dogs were barking, sounding the alarm.   The wall had almost collapsed.  I thought I’d better add a bit more confusion so I brought up Robby on the screen and clicked on the airburst button.  More explosions this time high in the air, it sounded like the entire seventh cavalry had arrived to me.  I watched Skylark’s display on my screen as Merlin slipped in towards the door through the dust then moments he was leading Karen away, back to the tandem.  I saw a door open and a head pop out, Merlin turned and I heard a burst of fire, I let Robby set off some more fireworks in the sky, aimed his gun towards the sky and clicked for a three round burst whatever that was.  Then it was over so quickly.

Then I started pedalling, I remember thinking I really must join a gym or something to get fit.  “Remember to set the battery assist to level four.”  Came Merlin’s voice in my ear.  I knew I’d forgotten something I pressed the switch, wow this was my way of cycling up hill, slowly the battery drained and Merlin and Karen passed me effortlessly then slowed right down in front of me.  “Aim the probe at my socket.”  God that sounded rude, came Merlin’s voice once again, I approached the rear of his trike and the little probe thing sticking out clicked into its socket and we pulled away my battery indicator moved over to the right once more and our wheels started spinning.  I looked back and saw a couple of men waving guns running after us so I aimed the Barrett in the computer roughly in their direction and got a loud bang and a helpful push up the slope.  Next time I looked back no one was visible.

We made it safely back to the truck and Karen helped Merlin load up the trikes on top.  Skylark came home and landed safely in fact we were just about to pull away when I noticed Robby coming up the hill pulling his cycle trailer behind him.  I picked up the camera we had to convince the British we were really accredited journalists and filmed our own little R2D2 coming home after a hard day’s night.  We bundled him away in the back of the container and we set off.  I was so pleased to see my baby I just hugged her and hugged her and we both cried.

We picked up Habiba at the next village and loaded up with wooden toys, Karen stayed on the top bunk under a blanket.  Merlin drove and I took the bottom bunk so I could introduce Habiba to my daughter.  “But she wasn’t with you on the outbound trip.”  There was a pause “She was the Taliban’s prize of the month for this month wasn’t she?”  I admitted yes she had won the Taliban’s Miss July beauty contest but I described how we had cycled down to the village and slipped her away.  Habiba looked awed, “They won’t like it when they find out their prize was snatched from under their noses by anything less than the Americans Special Operations team or the British SAS those they could accept, but when everyone hears it was mom and a retired next door neighbour on bicycles they’ll be laughed out of the area.  I wouldn’t like to be the men responsible for keeping her under lock and key at all.”  Karen looked amazed when Habiba took the wheel and drove, “Where did you learn to drive?” she asked “Your mother taught me.”  “Mom can you really drive this monster?”  I passed her my Afghan driving license.  “There you are your mother is fully qualified to drive anything in Afghanistan.”  “Wow!  Can I take your photo when you’re driving?”  It doesn’t take much to impress them sometimes.

After that we talked about Habiba’s family and how they were getting on.  How granddad had heard about the wooden toy project earlier and thought it was right that westerners should be interested in the traditional toys for their children and well as books for Afghanistan.  He’d organised twenty three boxes of toys even before we had arrived, just in case as he put it.  We kept Karen tucked away at the other villages we stopped at picking up more wooden toys until we reached Habiba’s village.  There Habiba insisted that a favoured few who could be trusted be introduced to Karen for as she said they could affirm just who had rescued her.

Then we pressed on, it felt almost like the home now, Karen was thrilled to work the air horns as we came to the American road block and awed when they all assembled on parade as we rolled up.  “Mom, what’s with these guys they’re respectful and all that but they all look as if they want to eat you.  I’m not used to competition from my mom and losing out on the attention.”  I prevaricated with they were all very young and were probably missing their mothers.  Besides which I’d cooked them an apple pie last time we came through.  Fortunately just then an army convoy arrived which distracted Karen since she was now getting all the attention she might like from the new arrivals.  Merlin handed his toys back, Sergeant Wilkins sidled up.  “Excuse me Mam but strangely enough we’ve just had a fresh delivery of frozen beef burgers, spuds, apples and flour.”  He looked at me hopefully.  “Oh and the convoy seems to have a somewhat larger escort than normal.”  “How many?”  “Fifty five in total.”  He smiled “I could let you have another couple of helpers.” There wasn’t room for more than four of us in the kitchen, still someone had to peel those spuds.  The poor Barvetti fryer would be working overtime.

Tony and Brad showed up in the kitchen which had somehow acquired a second fan oven, and set to work.  Tony seemed to stay away from me.  I overheard him ask Karen “Is she really your Mom?”  “Of course she’s my mom, I should know, she’s forever telling Charlotte and I what we’re allowed to do and what time we have to be in by and things.”  “Oh a real regular mom.”

There was a whirl overhead as three helicopters came and landed across the road, two smaller ones aggressive looking ones and a larger friendlier transport one with two sets of rotors.  One of the crew came forward carrying a cardboard box over to Sergeant Wilkins.  “One box of American cooking apples sergeant as requested.”  I walked across “How many more?”  “Just a platoon coming in from the field mam.”  I looked at Sergeant Wilkins.  “Just over thirty men plus flight crew say another thirty six.”  “We’re carrying a medical team as well so add in another four mam.”  I handed Sergeant Wilkins my potato peeler.  “Would you like to help out in the kitchen Sergeant?”  I asked sweetly.  “What would the men think Mam I couldn’t possibly.”  “Sergeant Wilkins I believe in times of emergency we must all help out and show no job is beneath us.”  “Yes Sir!”  “Thank you lieutenant.”  “Glad to be of service Mam, glad to be of service.”

Brad and Tony just looked at each other when the sergeant sat down and started to peel spuds alongside them but soon we had settled down and were working as a team once more.   Karen helped me serve and admitted to one soldier that the apple pie he was eating was one she had prepared only to be proposed to on the spot.  Needless to say his mates soon shouted him down crying “No you don’t want him, take me instead.”   I had to intervene and point out that Karen was too young and no I wasn’t accepting any proposals this week either.

The lieutenant who had come arrived by helicopter offered us a ride back but I thought we still had a large number of wooden toys and a large truck to return so we declined the offer but I thought it was nice of him to offer.  Fortunately the rest of the trip to Kabul was uneventful other than Karen telling me she’d had turned down nineteen offers of marriage.  Really I must have a serious talk to the girls sometime, offers of marriage are not to be rejected out of hand, they should find out a bit more about the person and their bank accounts first.

On arrival we were met by two large gentlemen with XM8s side arms.  They had a military look about them but their hair was a little bit longer. “Sergeants Rawlins and Peters Mam, we have a few days leave due and Sergeant Wilkins thought you might like a guide to the local sights.”  “Special Operations, I’m honoured.”  They looked at each other and then at me.  “The XM8s are not normal issue.” They relaxed visibly.

Merlin had arranged to meet someone from the BBC in a language training class room, equipped with a large projector to which he plugged in a lap top.  A rather excited flustered young lady knocked on the door “Hi, my name is Cynthia, isn’t Afghanistan exciting?  It’s my first week on the job here and only my first month with the BBC.  Now hopefully I’m in the right place.  Now I had a call from UNICEF that you might have some human interest footage we might be able to use of your trip into the interior, distributing some sort of schools for computers?”   She looked flustered and then at the two wheeled trolley that had a camera and tripod attached.  “I ought to get some video whilst I ask you questions.”  One of the sergeants volunteered to set it up for her and to be the camera man.

Merlin looked innocent for a moment or two and then said “Well the two sergeants here are very interested about our trip as well so why don’t I just take you through it.  You too Karen you haven’t seen the first part of the story.”  He started off with some shots of the Volvo with me behind the wheel I didn’t even know he’d taken. Then he showed some video of children with rapt faces playing with their new lap tops.

“Merlin.” I heard myself growl.  “That’s great but can we sort of start at the beginning and tell me why did you Australians come to Afghanistan in the first place?  I’m sure our viewers would be interested.”  The two sergeants had a sudden attack of coughing behind me.

“Perhaps I should tell the tale.  We’re Canadian and my daughter Karen went on an adventure holiday near the Afghanistan border and got separated from her party.  Then we heard she had been taken across the border and was being held as the prize of the month for the member of the Taliban who blew up the most Americans with IEDs.”

“So since your daughter is here I assume these two soldiers were the ones who rescued her.”  “Not quite, we’re actually here to learn what happened.  We heard on the grapevine there was a military style rescue attempt by the girl’s father with a group of mercenaries but that the attempts failed with only one badly injured mercenary escaping the rest died in a fire fight.”

Cynthia looked surprised.  I took up the tale, “My other twin daughter and I heard about the aborted attempt, and not having very much money knew we couldn’t afford another mercenary team so Charlotte thought we could persuade our recently retired next door neighbour Merlin, sorry Mike, to do something.  He was a bit reluctant at first.”  “So what influenced your decision?”  “Chanel Number Five, it should be banned.”  Merlin growled.  Cynthia had a fit of the giggles.  I shrugged my shoulders “Sometimes you just have to influence the decision maker.”  “So really it was a rescue attempt on a shoe string?” I agreed it was.

Merlin showed a couple of slides that Charlotte had taken before we’d set off that I didn’t know he had in my retro dress.  I looked at him, “Charlotte emailed them to me.”  I continued the tale with Merlin showing the appropriate videos or photos to illustrate my words.

When we came to the bit where the bread maker had beeped Cynthia expressed surprise that a simple fresh loaf of bread could create such a reaction.  One of the sergeant’s voices came from behind me.  “One day you should try living on army field rations for three months.  Trust me you’d kill for fresh bread.”  When I went on to describe the fries, hamburgers and apple pie meal and their making me a member of the Nation Guard so they could lend me some odd bits of equipment.  The sergeant’s voice chimed in again.  “I’m not at all surprised Sergeant Wilkins lent you some equipment.  It’s a wonder he managed to keep his entire platoon from coming along with you.  Did you sneak off in the night?”  Merlin showed the next bit of film with the truck pulling away from the army road block in the night.

I mentioned the role that Habiba had played helping us with the villagers but mentioning she knew nothing about the rescue attempt until afterwards.  The two sergeants took a more professional interest when we described the rescue and were impressed with the screen captures that Merlin had set up so you could see the images from Skylark, Robby, the Barrett’s night vision scope and the helmet cameras at the same time.  “But why the trikes?”  “Well I’m used to them, they are surprisingly quiet, with the fairings you get roughly 2-3 mph faster than you get from an upright bike, they have lower profile and are more stable than a bike, plus the electric power assist helped with the hilly country.  I added a couple of extra batteries to give a longer boost in the same way as I added the bike trailer and an extra battery to the battle robot to give it extra range and more chance of it coming back to the truck.”  The sergeants looked thoughtful.

Cynthia though looked more impressed with the sight of Robby with his camouflage paint coming home up the hill towing his battery on the cycle trailer.  “Oh he’s so cute, but what I don’t understand is why are you telling me all this. I mean to say a story like this would be the scoop of the century and worth a small fortune in the hands of an agent and sold off to the highest bidder.”  I let Merlin speak.  “The whole rescue attempt was only made possible by the combined efforts of many people including parts of the UK armed services.  If you’d like a copy of the raw DVD it’s yours with the proviso that CBC and Rogers Channel 22 have a copy and the right to broadcast it as well.  I think at the moment all we really want to do is get some sleep and hitch a ride back to Canada.”  Cynthia offered to put us up in her apartment whilst she talked nicely to London to see if anything could be arranged.  The sergeants asked for a copy of the DVD as well for training purposes.

Next morning when we awoke Cynthia told us the BBC had done a special documentary the previous night which had enormously high viewing figures and was being carried by other broadcasters as a BBC documentary around the world.   After breakfast we found Al knocking on the door.  “Come along guys the corporate jet is awaiting your pleasure.”  “Really?”  “Really with all the bad publicity we’ve been getting recently we need a bit of CSR or corporate social responsibility as it’s called these days and you handed it to the chairman on a plate with the shot of his corporate jet being used on the BBC documentary bringing you across the Atlantic even though he didn’t realise it at the time.  The stock price has rebounded by 2% after the hammering it took over the sub-prime business so he’s well pleased.  You don’t mind a few press photographers when we take off this time I trust, the BBC shots didn’t show the corporate logo on the side too well.  Oh and when we stop off in London this afternoon to refuel there will be a small press conference with the chairman present.”  I looked down at my dusty clothes and thought about my dirty underwear stuffed in my bag.  “I can’t possibly do a press conference looking like this!  I’m broke tired and I desperately need clean clothes, under wear, top wear, just look at my shoes.”  Afghanistan dust roads just aren’t kind to shoes by the way.

Al looked thoughtful “We could stop off at St Tropez, that’s where the Chairman’s social secretary gets her clothes, plus we have a company account with a couple of boutiques there so you won’t need any money.  Besides which one of them does readymade suits that the Chairman himself wears, Merlin would look good in one of those.”  That made up my mind, Merlin in a suit and tie, so needless to say after I had at least showered I found myself being bundled into the Chairman’s executive plane.  “Mom did you really fly over the Atlantic in this plane?”  There was awe in her voice.  “I love the leather seats and there’s so much room.  When dad and I flew charter I could hardly breathe it was so cramped.”  “I was the stewardess, and Merlin was acting co-pilot.”  “Wow I bet no one else’s mom ever worked their passage across the Atlantic.”

We soon were taxiing at l’aérodrome de La Mole or St. Tropez airport.  There seemed to be a lot of executive jets here rather than the planes I normally associate with flying.  Al soon had us ushered into the first boutique in an elegant arcade of shops, he spoke rapidly in French then turned and introduced us to Yvette.  “Yvette will guide you through and see to all the bills.”  Yvette stepped forward, “Welcome to my humble store.  If you’d like to step towards the changing room perhaps I can take the measurements.”  “No need.”  I said blindly thinking of displaying my inelegant underwear “I’m a size ten.”  “We will measure I think n’est pas, this size ten is one I do not recognize, and your daughter as well I think just in case she sees something she likes.”

I watched Merlin be led off like a condemned man for his suit and tie.  Yvette mean while had looked at my under wear and quickly returned with something more elegant and two silk wraps.  “You will feel more comfortable in these I think, they are about your size.”  I began to relax feeling better dressed, it’s amazing what a difference clothes can make but I was still feeling a little hesitant.  “Now perhaps are you married, or some one’s a mistress or you just wish to seduce or attract some poor man’s attention.  I have to know this to guide you.”  I confessed to being a divorcee who was also widowed and I explained that Merlin was just my next door neighbour.

“I see, we will start with the Chairman’s social sectary’s favourite I think we have some new items in from Luxxa.”  “Luxxa I can’t say I’ve heard of it La Senza perhaps?”  She grimaced.  “I can see we have an education ahead of us, La Senza, I have heard of, a Mall store I think you call them.  No it is not the same thing at all.  Clothes should flatter a real women not just look good on a model’s photograph in the shop window.”  I had an idea that Yvette saw more clearly than I did just what my relationship with Merlin was.

The underwear was sensational, the items were true works of art.  I could never wear it though I mean my body’s good but I have my limits after all. I thought back to the platoon after dark and realised just how far my limits had been pushed recently.  Karen picked up a thong that was practically nothing.  “Mom it’s not finished.”  “That garment is complete, if a little old for you. It’s called an open string.  The strings are over here tiny, thongs I think you call them and open because the centre is removed to make you more accessible, very popular with some Mistresses who want to give someone a heart attack especially when you wear it with a quarter cup bra or corset.”  Yvette lifted an exquisite garment from the rack.  “Here try it on and you’ll see.”  “Even the string?”  “Of course you can take it with you, Alan has given me a budget to work with and one string won’t make any difference one way or the other.  Karen tried it on. On my body it would have looked sensational on Karen’s well it was premature ejaculation or heart attack time absolutely not for a teenage girl, unless of course I could protect Charlotte from having to give her body up to Merlin by dressing her in such clothes.

“Mom you don’t think it’s too much of me showing do you?”  “Certainly not in fact I’ll try something similar myself and we must take some back for Charlotte as well want to help me choose?”  I mean to say you can’t buy anything for one twin without buying for the other.  Yvette picked up on my change of mood and soon thongs from Lola Luna, garter belts, bra and thong sets, most being quarter or half cup that let Karen’s and my nipples show over the top.  I found a really delightful black spider’s web bra that concealed and revealed at the same time and really showed my boobs off nicely, not that I’d any one I’d want to impress that is but a girl can dream and just in case.  Other items from Axami, were added to the growing pile.  There was even a beautiful soft black leather Maid’s dress with a full skirt.  I felt confident even Merlin couldn’t resist me in these and the more time he spent bedding me the less time he would spend bedding my babies.  Yvette guided us next door and we started on skirts, blouses and dresses.  Karen found a beautiful maid’s outfit, all French lace frothy petticoat that stood out and showed lots of leg and nipples if you bent forward depending on if you were in front or behind.  Fortunately they had two in her size.  “Mom it’s beautiful but I could never wear it anywhere unless it was for someone very special.”

The following boutique had more exotic clothes, leather hoods and so forth, so we passed on quickly, but the next one had shoes to die for.  I purchased a dozen pairs in a range of heel heights each for the girls, well fortunately the twins take exactly the same size so I let Karen choose the styles just making certain she included some totally impractical ones such as five and six inch heels without platforms.  Yvette helped suggest some styles for myself and I ordered perhaps a few more than I really should.  I did remember Charlotte’s words about sixties fashion and we found some leatherette GoGo boots and short skirts to match.  It really was an amazing arcade, it seemed to have items of clothing suitable for seducing practically any one no matter what their tastes. 

The toy store had toys I’d never even seen before.  Vibrators with knobs on, different sizes, things to sit astride that you attached a vibrator onto complete with shackles so your ankles could be fastened to the sides.  Karen and I were both red faced and fascinated by the idea but neither of us would admit it.  We brought some beautiful golden pleasure balls, Karen of course wanted some bright coloured plastic ones for gag gifts for her friends.  She picked up a number of brightly coloured soft plastic sleeves covered with knobs, “Mom what are these for?”  Fortunately Yvette replied before I could show my ignorance.   “They slide over this vibrator to give more size and added sensations from the knobs.”  Karen looked shocked then looked at me.  “We could take one home to shock Charlotte, she’d never believe me if I just told her about them.”  Yvette thought we really should buy a set of Rabbit vibrators including one for my other daughter when she discovered the existence of Charlotte, and somehow we ended up with the complete Rabbit system including strap-ons for as Karen said it was cheaper to buy the complete set than all the bits.  As we left I noticed Yvette talking with the assistant.

We entered the next store that had a large black board with the specials written up in chalk.  “Mom why would anyone want to buy an old fashioned school uniform that looks positively dowdy.”  A stern looking woman in an old fashioned mortar board and gown stepped forward carrying a cane.  Yvette once more explained, “Men of a certain age, such as the Chairman, have fond memories of their school days so by dressing up in one of these outfits which are all authentic and from exclusive private schools you can trigger their imagination and a very basic emotional response.  For example the Chairman’s social secretaries always made certain they had a St. Trinian’s uniform available.  St. Trinian’s is an exception in that it is a fictitious school.”  “Perhaps mademoiselle would like to try a uniform on?  They keep the spirit of the traditional uniform but shall we say we have emphasised perhaps some features.”  Karen disappeared into the changing room whilst I browsed the racks.  I heard the curtain swish aside and “Voila” my darling stood there looking very self conscious in an abbreviated school uniform dress with a large badge on the front of the dress for St. Trinian’s.  I adored the bloater, I wasn’t quite so sure about the high heels she was wearing with the rest of the uniform.   It had a rather fuller shorter skirt than any school skirt I’d seen except in one of the films.  Beneath the skirt I could see the tops of her old fashioned stockings.  She stepped out into the room and swirled in front of the full length mirror.  “I don’t see what’s so sexy about this?” she said, just as an old gentleman came in with his granddaughter.  One look and he literally staggered and Karen and I helped him to a chair whilst his granddaughter pouted.   “Just give him a little air.” She said and turned to a new assistant who had stepped forward.  “I’m Sir Henry’s personal assistant and I think I’d like an outfit like that one, a school mistresses outfit in my size, a suitable cane and strap together with a school boy’s outfit with short trousers for Harrow in Sir Henry’s size.”  Personal assistant, if she was more than a year older than Karen I’d be surprised.  Karen whispered in my ear, “I see what they mean about invoking a reaction.  Think I’d like a full uniform, you never know when it might come in useful.”  I nodded, well why shouldn’t she dress up occasionally?  I asked the assistant to include a second full set and to add in two or three different ties and so forth so they could vary the uniform a little.

I hadn’t realised just how many variations you could have in wigs.  As Yvette suggested you can go from blonde to brunette in moments.  One or two joined our list of purchases, including a long bright red one that Karen thought would be perfect for Halloween.

By the time we had arrived at the sleep wear store all thoughts of economy had fled.  The first thing I settled on was two pairs of real silk pyjamas each, almost practical compared with the other items and pure luxury.  I let Karen choose the colours for hers and Charlottes.  Then I looked through the rest of the selection.  Traditional French lace, silk definitely not for sleeping in for the most part, I couldn’t resist trying a few items on.  Yvette guided me to some selections I wouldn’t have dared to even think of by myself but not wishing to seem provincial I let myself be talked into them.

The jewellery store held a multitude of treasures but Yvette guided me away from the more expensive items I did find a lovely jewelled butt plug that covered Karen’s butt hole nicely when I inserted it.  If you’re going to do something then my motto is go all out for it.  If Merlin didn’t have any problems with premature ejaculation before he certainly was going to in the future.  On Yvette’s recommendation I tried a pair of nipple huggers, sort of non-piercing nipple jewellery that stimulated the base of my nipples quite effectively.  And the non piercing nipple chains caught my eye as well.  I brought some for the girls, well just in case they had to go through with having sex with Merlin it would be less painful if they were well aroused first. 

Finally Yvette murmured it was time to sit down at the café and wait for Merlin.  After all we really didn’t want it to appear we had spent all our time shopping now did we?

We had just been served coffee and Karen was on her way through her second ice when Alan rolled up.   Honestly I didn’t recognise Merlin in a suit and tie he looked very elegant indeed.  Yvette passed a bill to Alan to approve and then back to me to initial.  I looked at the final figure, Yvette had even put in a small discount, then remembered when I was ten visiting Rome with my parents and thinking all the prices were terribly expensive until Dad had mentioned there was so many thousand lira to the dollar.  “It looks very reasonable.”  I said, “But of course” said Yvette “The chairman always has his social sectaries buy their clothes here, he thinks the prices are so much better than London.”  Yvette had arranged for our purchases to be delivered directly to the plane.  She had our home address and would forward the one or two items that needed to be made to measure.  Alan asked me to sign a letter the chairman had prepared permitting them to act as my financial agents.  I was in a good mood so I just signed.

We were soon sat in the tiny plane and flying onwards towards London.  When I asked Alan if all the Chairman’s social sectaries were blond, tall and willowy with long legs in short skirts he went quite pink and admitted they were.  “They seem to be some sort of intern that last around two years before going onto other things.  Odd you should be able to describe them so easily without meeting them.”

I was dressed in suitable attire for a press conference in underwear that gave me confidence knowing how well it showed my body off when Karen whispered to me.  “How could you say it was a very reasonable price after we’d spent a small fortune?”  I whispered back about my trip to Italy when I was young and the story about the Lira.  “Mom those were euros not Lira it’s dollars per euro not euros per dollar.”  Do you ever have one of those moments when you wish the ground would just swallow you up.  Alan did drop by later and gave me some reassurance on the bill, apparently a 2% increase in stock price covered it many many times so no need to worry. 

At the airport there was some confusion about whose press conference it was.  We were met by both an American guard of honour, and a British one.  First we had a little speech from his Royal Highness saying how pleased our rescue attempt had been successful. Then the American Ambassador said how wonderfully it showed the coalition forces working together in Afghanistan with a Canadian, working together with British and American specialised equipment and a member of the American National Guard coming to the rescue of a Canadian hostage.

This was rather overshadowed by Karen asking a loud voice “Mom what’s he on about, I thought it was you and Merlin who rescued me and neither of you are American.” which had some of the reporters trying to hide their mirth.

Then the Chairman addressed the reporters and said how pleased he was that the company had been able to help one of its clients further their personal ambitions and it showed that not all corporate jets and business lunches were a complete waste of time.  He was very happy to report that the company had been able to replace some clothing that had been lost and to place one of their corporate jets at our disposal to see us home safely after all our trauma.

Merlin then took the microphone “Thank you all for your help.  We mustn’t forget the Afghanistan fire service who supplied the very necessary specialist equipment to force the final entry and without which the rescue would not have been possible even though they are desperately short of fire fighting equipment themselves and also the members of the Flight Simulator forum who have been working away in the background for the last ten days doing the background organisation for this rescue.”

There were lots more questions most of which we answered to the best of our ability, but eventually I confessed to feeling tired and said we really would like to get home so they were kind to us and let escape.  I did notice the two Cs chatting quietly in the background.

I was weary when we finally got home.  Merlin had the boxes carried into his home, since he wasn’t certain which ones contained his new suits and ties.  Suits I was impressed, I couldn’t wait to see him give a fashion show for me.  Charlotte and Karen carried boxes upstairs so that Charlotte could see what we’d brought and try things on.  So leaving them to giggle and talk I crept back to my little house.  I picked up the mail from behind the door, one from work.  The jerk, I’d been fired for being away from the office without permission for a week.  I stormed round to see Merlin.  As soon as he let me in I knew I shouldn’t have done it.  Where was the independent woman of two weeks ago?  I just handed him the letter. He raised his eyebrows, “Well I can probably have enough food in the cupboard to keep you all from starving for the next day or two.” 

There was an impression of black and white as Charlotte and Karen made a quiet dash to the kitchen followed by more giggles ensued and sounds of coffee being made. Merlin and I carried on talking.  “But we can’t accept your food I’ll just have to find another job.”  He suggested waiting for a while.  Did I really want to work for someone like that?  He asked me how much I made and then pointed out that if he married his inflation protected survivors pension was more than I made right now.  Heavens was this a proposal?  If it was what would I say?

I looked at Merlin’s face, he had that stunned look on it the sort of one you always hope for with a new dress.  I turned to see my two babies dressed in the French Maid’s outfits, the one that Karen had said she could never wear in public.  This time they even had white stockings and heels on.  They both bent forward to serve Merlin his coffee.  Karen piped up “Charlotte and I have been talking and I think it’s unfair that she has to give her body up for six months to pay the penalty for my rescue I want to pay it myself.”  “Agreed the six months after your sister’s.” I wasn’t sure I wanted his undivided attention concentrated on Karen.  The girls then started to talk about going out together the following night to see their friends.  “I hate to mention this but the agreement is all your time for the next six months is mine.”  “What we can’t go out together for whole year?”  Merlin beamed at them.  “Precisely.” They looked at each other, Charlotte walked across to Merlin and unzipped him. Then she started to nibble his rod, soon joined by her sister who licked the opposite side.  He didn’t stand a chance, it took only seconds before he had come.  “We thought we could negotiate, some nights you get both of us, other nights we get to go out and you get mom.”  There was something wrong here I didn’t realise my baby had just let me into being Merlin’s mistress for a whole year at first.  “Sounds good to me, you can all move into my house for the next year then and I suspect your mother won’t mind the money from letting your house furnished for a year.  I know someone who is looking to return furnished accommodation on a yearly basis who might be interested.”  Why did I feel my life was out of control these days?  Why wasn’t anyone talking to me?

The girls drifted off whilst Charlotte and Karen caught up on all the gossip with each other.  Merlin put his arm out to me so I went and curled up in his lap.  “Merlin why were there so many people at the press conference?”  “They were probably all trying to associate themselves with success and pick up a bit of the reflected glory.”  “But that Royal guy didn’t even know what we were doing or where we were going when he spoke to us on the way there.”  “True but the editing and his words on the documentary made it sound as if he did.  Besides which we now have a standing offer to his mother’s garden parties this year so we needn’t starve.” I hit him with a handy cushion.

I rented the house out, Merlin wants to marry at the end of the year, he seems reluctant to marry before sampling the girls for a year for then he’d be in a position of trust so it would be against the law for him to have sex with them whilst at the moment the Canadian age of consent is only 14 so its legal.  I’m not certain he’s going to make it myself.  Being gadget mad he does give himself an advantage by having the girls sit in the corner on their Sybians for thirty minutes first to take the edge off their appetite.  Mind you last night the girls got dressed up in their Luxxa basques, sat on their Sybians all by themselves without being asked and then announced thirty minutes later they were ready.   Poor Merlin looked harried and hunted so I took pity on him and suggested to Karen that she showed Merlin the strap on with one of the Rabbits attached.  Merlin looked grateful.  So then Charlotte had to use the strap on with the thrusting Rabbit on her sister in return.  I’m certain Merlin enjoyed the show but perhaps I shouldn’t have taken him to bed for an afternoon nap and seduced him earlier whilst the girls were at school.  Anything to save them right, well that’s my story and with the night dresses from St. Tropaz he doesn’t need much seduction.

The girls enjoy dressing up but have been warned not to take anything out of the house and not to show anything to their friends on pain of being grounded for a year.  They looked rebellious at first but then I explained that their reputations were important and had to be guarded until they were 21 then they could do what they liked as their reputations would then be their responsibility.  Once they’d seen the St. Trinian’s DVDs that caught their imagination and their school uniforms became very popular round the house.  The skirts of course were already too short to roll over the waistband but teenage imagination came up with some quite original variations.  I liked the one with the wrap round full length skirt matched with thoroughly scandalously indecent underwear.  Oh and perhaps I shouldn’t mention this just in case it gets the Chairman into trouble but Karen thought they ought to send him a thank you present for being so helpful but couldn’t think what to send him that he could afford to buy himself.  After all what do you buy someone who has everything?  Charlotte then asked her about the reaction that Sir Henry had had in the store.  Mom got roped in as cameraman.  When I heard about it I really wasn’t certain but they’d made their minds up so I insisted that the girls wore wigs, eye-masks, I made them up a little differently than they would normally be made up and made them promise not to say a word in case their voices were recognised.

They started their little film by the sound of an alarm clock ringing then switching shots to see them slowly emerging from under the covers yawning eventually crawling out of a double bed together dressed only in the flimsiest sheer baby doll night gowns, the sort that look as if they might fall apart if washed more than once.  Karen wore black and Charlotte worn white.  Then they sat at their dressing table and lightly brushed their hair a hundred strokes.

Karen opened her lingerie drawer and drew out some of her black Luxxa lingerie, a more unlikely set of underwear for a school girl to wear I’ve never seen.  She tried a few items on, posing as she looked it the full length mirror before finally settling on a bra that left her nipples exposed and a black thong that was open but had a series of jet beads dangling down in front so if she stood still it almost looked respectable but if she moved her pubic hair was on display.  As she posed Charlotte came behind and first cupped her breasts before running her fingers through the beads and slipping a finger quite clearly through the jet beads and into her sister.  Then it was Charlotte’s turn to put on a show.  This time Karen handed her white undergarments and made her model them in front of the mirror. 

She started Charlotte off with respectable ones then gradually made her change into more and more revealing outfits.  I think she must have gone through practically the entire lingerie drawer for white underwear.  Finally she seemed to settle on a Luxxa St Tropez guepierre, an absolutely adorable confection of lace that really showed the best of Charlotte’s body.  She carefully rolled up a pair of fine silk stockings and attached them to the guepierre’s straps before holding out the tiny matching thong for Charlotte to step into.  Charlotte stood posing in the mirror and looked comfortable only to see Karen shake her head and hold out yet another hanger.  It was the half cup version.  Charlotte looked reluctant.  Karen picked up the school master’s cane that lay on the floor and looked threatening. Soon Charlotte was in the half cupped guepierre attaching the white stockings to their straps.  Next came the even tinier matching open thong for Charlotte to step into.  Charlotte was definitely blushing by this time I think at the thought of both her nipples and pubic hair on display.  Karen bent forward and just gently sucked on each of her sisters nipples in turn before slipping over the nipple hugger to keep them erect.  She clipped a silver chain from one nipple hugger to the other before Charlotte took her turn and applied nipple huggers and a silver chain to her sister.  I hadn’t realised they had intended to go quite so extreme.

Now the two girls stepped into their St. Trinians’ school uniform.  First the plain white long sleeved blouses through which their firm nipples chained together could be clearly seen either side of their school tie.  This was followed by the St. Tropaz version of the school’s gym slips, beautifully cut and probably not the original material or length either.  They were just long enough to tantalise with a glimpse of stocking top.  They flounced about bending over to pick up books, pens and such before Karen picked up the finger attachment for the Sybian and attached it then covered it with lubricant.  Charlotte was directed to sit astride with the finger inside then Karen worked the control.  It took a few minutes for it to work its magic by which time Karen had selected a different probe for the second Wobbling Wabbit as the girls called the Sybians and lubricated hers.  She passed Charlotte her control so they could each control each other.  I held the high definition camera on the tripod so they both fitted in side by side in the wide screen.  I could see they were well and truly aroused but it might not be completely visible in the film.  I donned a spare bright red wig and an eye mask with a peacock feather that curled over my forehead and slipped into the scene behind the girls.  Karen had insisted that I was dressed in one of the open string quarter cup outfits just in case I needed to rescue any one or appear on shot.  I unzipped Karen’s gym slip and carefully brushed it off her shoulders so it fell to her waist.  Then knelling behind I brought my fingers around to gently cup her breasts then continued to undo her blouse down the front.  Soon her beautifully flushed chest was completely exposed showing beyond a doubt that she wasn’t faking her reaction.  I performed the same service for Charlotte hearing her sharp intake of breath as I brushed my fingers over her boobs.

I sat and watch them perform thinking not even the Chairman would have seen a performance like this before.  Eventually they came to a gasping end and stepped off the wobbling wabbits.  I thought that was all they had intended but Charlotte this time picked up a white strap on with a white Rabbit vibrator attached and came up behind her sister before taking her from behind.  I zoomed in to catch the penetration then motioned the girls to turn towards me so I could catch the Rabbits ears either side of Karen’s clit.  Charlotte with her black underwear of course had to return the favour, but this time she used a black strap on and a black thrusting Rabbit whilst facing her sister who was laid back on the coffee table with her legs apart.  It was difficult to catch both the facial expressions of both girls and the penetration showing the Rabbit’s thrusting motion but I like to think I did a credible job even if I was a little unsure if the coffee table would ever be quite so stable again.

Karen edited the film together splicing it with little messages like the silent films used to have.  The first board said “Hugs and Kisses from C and K just to Mr. C.”  the final one said “Thanks for everything.  C and K.”  after Charlotte encrypted the files and had burnt and verified three copies on DVDs she formatted the lap top.  One DVD each for the two girls and one for Mr. C.  I arranged for Alan to deliver it by hand to Mr. C. personally, the two girls sent the encryption key separately to his email, I put the two other DVDs in a safe deposit box at the bank.   The copy of the encryption key went in a different safe deposit box at a different bank.

I think it arrived safely for three days later for Yvette phoned and mentioned there was a interesting balance on an account in my name if we’d like to drop by and spend it sometime.  She also mentioned that the Arcade Association had talked and were interested in having the girls model some outfits the school store was especially interested.  No nudity but they were prepared to pay for the flight and two weeks accommodation in return.  Could they manage sometime in the spring when the new ranges would be available?  Two weeks at St. Tropez over March break sounded good to me, we could see if we could empty that outstanding balance at the same time.

The jerk suddenly found himself on the front page of the local paper labelled scrooge.  Apparently this was not good for his business image and he did offer me my old job back at an increase in pay, it was all a misunderstanding, yeah right.  However in the mean time Alan had emailed us, apparently Channel had experienced a 40% increase in sales and would we mind them using a bit from the video in their advertising for a fee of course.  They had agreed to sell the film rights to Hollywood for some amazing figure.  Volvo’s customers need more drivers so Volvo arranged for free proper driving lessons for Habiba and three of her cousins.  They’ve sold her a rig at very advantageous terms so she hopes to have it paid off in a year between the four of them driving, keeping it rolling all the time.  I think she might even do it as well.  They’re after me to take some proper lessons and to make some videos showing how easy their trucks are to drive, for a suitable fee of course.  Catrike would like a product endorsement, as would Barrett, Heckler & Koch.

The National Guard wanted me to make a training video on how to make bread, fries and apple pies in the field.  All in all life is looking more positive than it once did.   Oh and Merlin and I are working through what’s best for both of us.  I think he’s beginning to realise he may not have quite enough energy to keep up with both me and the twins and I’m balancing how much sex I’ve managed in the last 14 years against how long I expect him to last.  We’re working through my new wardrobe slowly.