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   Swagato

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   **********Unforgettable Times : Part-3 ***************************

   "Khoaai !  It's khoaai - just see," Papiya and Sonali cried out in
exhuberance.

   Chandan wasn't there, as I said earlier.  So five of us were walking
through the red gravels - for how long I don't remember, but fairly long I
think.  Through Tagore's writings, we knew about "Khoaai", a wonderful
creation of the nature.  The dusts of red gravel ("khoaa") shift from one
place to another under the influence of wind and river and create some
natural undulations in the otherwise plain terrain.  It was just amazing
and I couldn't have visualized it, had I not seen it with my own eyes.

   All of us were feeling tempted to walk further and further down.  Our
young minds were becoming eager to explore the unknown and unseen parts of
it.  Only problem, if any, was my pair of sandals, which was just a few
days old.  Its raw leather, in contact with my skin had caused a painful
blister in one of my toes.  It was okay and tolerable for the first few
days, but the long walk on that day made it worse.  I tried not to express
my feelings of pain, lest it dampens the enjoyment of others and continued
to walk with some difficulty and at one stage, I was almost limping.

   "Swagato, are you okay ?" asked Keka-di.  She must have sensed my
difficulty.

   "Oh yeah, I'll be alright.." I assured.

   "It seems you have a pain.  You can rest here for sometime, if you
feel." she said.  Her soft, caring voice made me feel warm and nice.

   "It's okay, Keka-di .  Just a blister, resulting from my new pair of
sandals." I had to tell the truth.

   "Oh no, don't tell me that !  Give your feet a rest for sometime.  Let
me see, I may be having some antiseptic cream and a band-aid in my
handbag." Keka-di was eager to help me.

   "Didi always travels with a first-aid box you know," Papiya added.

   "It's more of use to others than mine, I think" she said, while
searching for her first-aid stuff.

   "Here it is.  Just apply this ointment and sit for sometime."

   "That's so nice of you, Keka-di.  But you need not wait for me.  Just
proceed and I'll catch up with you after sometime." I told my companions.

   "I think that's good idea.  You carry on.  I'll stay back here for
sometime with Swagato." Keka-di told to our other companions.  Her
suggestion came as a pleasant surprise to me.  I was longing for some
exclusivity with Keka-di and rather unexpectedly, I got it.  I never had
any exclusive time with any girl/woman before.  It was a new and wonderful
kind of feeling for me.

   "Let me see how bad it is," she told me as the other two girls proceeded
with Abhirup.  She sat on the gravels, just next to me.  I was driven crazy
by the sweet fragrance of her perfume.

   "Oh no, it must be very painful.  The region around the blister has
turned red.  Oh no, why didn't you tell me that before, Swagato ?"

   Keka-di's last sentence carried a deep sense of warmth and affection,
which instantly created a mental proximity and feeling of togetherness.  I
was more than just moved.

   "Keka-di, tumi je amaar kachhe roye gele ?  Oder saathe gelenaa ?"

   I was feeling sorry that she had to stay back because of me.  But, more
than that, I was delighted with Keka-di's presence beside me.

   "Can you guess why I stayed back ?"

   "Jaaninaa...." I was unable to guess.

   She hold my hands with hers.  It gave me a tenderly soft, but warm
feeling.  As if I was lovingly arrested in her prison.  She pressed all my
fingers together and said,

   "I won't release you till you sing a song for me." Keka-di had a strong
plea.  And now, I knew I have to listen to her request.

   I looked at Keka-di.  With a green saree having designs all over, she
was looking amazingly beautiful.

   "Ei udaasee haaoaar pathe pathe mukul guli jhare, Aami kurhiye niechhi,
tomaar charane diyechhi, laho karuno kare."

   When I was singing this song, concentrating on the tune and the inner
meaning of the lyrics, I felt I belonged to a new world, exclusive to me
and Keka-di.  She was still holding my hands.  When my song ended, I asked,

   "So, aren't you going to release me now ?"

   Spontaneously, both of us together threw our arms to each other and
tightly embraced.  What an intimate moment it was !  Neither of us had any
plans or preparation for it.  Everything was so sudden, so spontaneous, so
beautiful !  Both of us together forgot the realities and didn't bother to
think for a moment where our love might lead to.  A deep heat of love was
flowing through my entire body.  The physical proximity with Keka-di was
making me hard, much harder than what I can imagine now.  I was nervous for
a moment.  How am I going to hide my physical arousal ?

   "Chhaarbonaa, chhaarbonaa, chhaarbonaa !  Eto sundar gaaner por
kichhutei chharbonaa ...."she said, while holding me still within her
embrace.

   "Keka-di, you look so wonderful !" For the first time I expressed my
feeling of love for her.

   "Oh no, do you know what are you talking ?" she suddenly blushed.  She
realized the realities and loosened her grips on me.

   "Naa bole paarchhinaa Keka-di....bhishon....bhaalo laagchhe...." I
couldn't complete any sentence.  It was just some loose collection of
words. I was still holding her with my arms.  But, an intelligent girl in
her could instantly understand my expressions of love.

   "Why me, Swagato ?  Please understand....  I am elder to you.  My
parents are already planning for my marriage.  I can force them to keep it
aside till my post-graduation, but, not beyond it.  You are just a first
year student.  You have a long way to go ..Please understand....a nice,
sweet boy you are !" she was trying to make me understand with all her
softness and affection.

   " Keka-di !  The past two days made my world so different.  I completely
forgot the contradictions of the reality.  In my mind, I was creating a new
world with you" I said.

   She again embraced me.  There was again a fresh thrust of blood flow in
me, swelling my male organ further up.  I am pretty sure she didn't make a
note of it.  Thank God !

   "Paagol, ekdom paagol---" she said, affectionately.

   At that moment, I suddenly a feeling of sadness filled up my mind.  My
first love proposal was turned down and I suddenly felt being ignored.  I
was almost becoming emotional, but still controlled myself.

   "Don't you like me, Keka-di ?" I asked.  I knew the question was too
childish, but an eighteen year old boy has a combination of a child and a
man in him.  At that very moment, the child in me was more dominant.

   She gave me an innocent smile and said, "Tomaake bhaalo na lege paare ?
" and continued, "One day, you will find a girl, who will shower all her
love upon you."

   There was a silence for a while.  Love was flowing within me, as if
forming a homogeneous solution with the blood flow within my body.  I could
listen to the sounds of my own blood flow - literally.  It's not a writer's
imagination.  I mean it.  I stretched my legs and leaned towards her.

   "Maathaa ta ekhaane raakhte ichchha korchhe bujhi ?" Keka-di asked me,
pointing to her laps.

   How did she read my mind ?  I wondered.  While leaning to her, I wished
I could place my head on her laps and the lover's mind in her understood
what I wished.  As my head rested on her laps, I felt it was my own
"Shantiniketan", my own abode of peace.  God !  Is there any place in this
world, which is more comfortable than her laps ?  The feeling was just
incredible.  Difficult to describe.  Her lap was unbelievably soft and her
saree made it silky.  There was a combined smell of her perfume, the
fabrics of her saree and a smell that was her very very own.  It is
difficult for me to say what was turning me on at that moment.  Was it the
softness ?  Was it the smell ?  Was it her delicately soft fingers which
rested on my thighs, or was it everything put together ?  I don't know the
answer myself.

   "Won't you sing another song ?" she asked me, as I smelled her breath.

   "Keka-di, now I can sing one song after the other.  I won't be tired of
singing as long as I am here." I said and started the songs.

   I sang the same song of last night - the song of spring's touch, which
turned into my own song of love.  One of the best melodies I have ever
heard.

   "Kichhu palasher neshaa kichhu ba chnapaay meshaa Taai niye sure sure
range rase jaal buni Rochi mamo phaalguni Ektuku chhnoya laage ektuku katha
shuni"

   I was in a mood to sing more.  I sang one after the other.  I wanted to
sing more songs of Tagore since its wordings were becoming more and more
appealing to me.  Then she also requested for Manna Dey's songs, since
Abhirup disclosed that last evening.  Because of my classmates and
hall-mates' requests, I happen to sing those songs too frequently and
almost lost the charms of singing, although I loved those and still I do
love those songs a lot.

   "Hey, they are coming !" Keka-di cautioned me, as I was still resting on
her laps.  I could see Abhirup, Papiya and Sonali walking at a distance.  I
sat down and she adjusted the upper part of her saree, which was modestly
wavering with the gentle breeze of the Spring.

   "Won't you sing a song for me ?" I asked her.

   "Who told you that I can sing ?" she asked.

   "I can make out from the singer's voice in you." We were reversing the
roles in the conversation that took place between us in the first evening.

   "I don't have a good stock of Rabindrasangeet like you.  I learnt
Classical, and I know only a few Tagore songs." she said.

   "Then sing..." I pleaded.

   "Tomorrow.  I promise." she said.

   I realized that the next day was Saturday.  On Sunday, all of us would
leave Shantiniketan.  I was reminded of the reality.  Since our coming
here, I belonged to a different world and felt like staying here for ever.

   Abhirup, Papiya and Sonali walked back to us.

   "Oh, it was a nice walk Didi.  We liked it so much." Papiya told her
elder sister.  Then she looked at me and said, "Oh, you missed it."

   "At least I haven't missed much.  Rather, all of you missed Swagato's
songs." Keka-di replied.

   "Oh no, please ....now ....please.....", pleaded Papiya and Sonali.  A
typical "girlish" plea, as I can describe it.  All of a sudden, I realized
that my importance went up and felt elated.  Singing before a group and
singing in exclusivity requires two different moods.  Although, I was in
the perfect mood of the latter when I was with Keka-di, it was impossible
for me to switch the mood suddenly at that point of time.

   "Okay, I am not saying no, but we are here for tomorrow.  Let's keep it
for tomorrow, okay ?" I just managed to avoid.

   We were about to start our walk back to our respective places.

   "Bhule gele cholbe ?" Keka-di showed up the band-aid strip to me. 
Believe me, I had completely forgotten about the nasty blister.  Before I
could help myself, Keka-di stuck the strip on the affected part of my toe.
I was really embarrassed.  She was elder to me afterall !  Did she forget
that at that moment ?  How could she ?  She only reminded me of her
elderness when I proposed.  Or, did she ignore it for the sake of love and
care ?  I don't know the answer myself.

   We had yet another round of meeting in the evening.  The cultural
festival associated with Vasantotsav continues for two days.  That evening
too there was a dance-drama programme and it was heartening to see some of
the famous personalities of the musical world taking part in the open-air
festival.  A few folding chairs were kept for the aged visitors, but for
us, rugs laid out on the grass were good enough.  I was sitting next to
Keka-di.  While we were watching the programme and the dusk set in, Keka-di
once placed her fingers on top of mine.  I tangled my fingers with hers. 
None noticed, as we continued to play with our fingers silently for some
more time.

   A visit to the tea-stall was essential.  Just two and a half days back,
I didn't know anyone other than Abhirup and now there was so much of
closeness between all of us.  We were chatting with each other, at times
teasing each other and making fun.  Leaving aside my special feelings for
Keka-di, I was also enjoying the presence of Papiya and Sonali.  As if, all
six of us became family members in just two days time.

   All of us were missing Chandan.  When he is there around, he entertains
all of us with witty comments and sense of humour.  And if my guess went
right, Sonali was missing Chandan more than any of us.  What about Papiya -
Abhirup ?  I thought I would ask Abhirup about it later on.

   We all walked together upto Abhirup's grand parental home.  Dida told
all of us that none should go out anywhere on the next day.  All of us
would take our lunch together in her place and spend the day with them. 
All of us instantly welcomed the idea.  We were not prepared to miss
Chandan in this gathering.  Dida told us that she had already intimated
Chandan's parents about it.

   ***************

   "Aalo ta jwaalaash na re Abhirup !"

   I preferred the natural moonlight more than the electric bulb in our
room.  I went within myself.  What an eventful day for me !  A walk through
the khoaai, my painful blister - perhaps a blessing in disguise.  And then
those loving moments - the close touch of our hands, our spontaneous
embrace, resting on her laps and those songs which Tagore had written for
us - exclusively for us, as I lovingly imagined.

   The day was a bit warmer as compared to the last two days.  I wanted to
feel fresh with an evening shower.

   "...Jetuku kachhete ashe kshaniker phnaake phnaake, Chakita maner kone
swapaner chhobi aake ....."

   Within me I was still singing this song - the same song of touch, the
love song of spring.  The trickling cold stream of water couldn't take care
of my hardness which resulted from my reminiscence of the unforgettable
moments of the day.  I touched and stroked myself there, gently, slowly.  I
felt I was still resting on her laps.  Then imagined the space between her
two thighs , a smell of her own which drove me wild.  I could clearly
listen to the sounds of my hot thick jet, which I couldn't keep within me
anymore.

   I felt relaxed.  Abhirup and I chatted for a long long time, before
finally sleeping.  Moonlight was still flooding Shantiniketan.

   **********************End of Part-3. 
*******************************************