Summer Blessing - Prologue: Introductions

by BabyKeiko & Daddy's Little Slut~Muffin

I am 11 years old... my daddy is from Jamaica but he is not here with my mommy and me... my mommy is second-generation Japanese...

It is kind of weird... I am kind of black, but kind of not... my gran used to call me "goldy" or account of my skin color... I definitely have 'Jamaican hair'... a big, black, curly, almost afro explosion... but I love it (except when it needs to be combed or brushed...)... I am kind of petite but I am also beginning to have puberty (I think that is what you call it... or is it "in puberty"?)... kind of weird... I am beginning to have some boobies... and I have a little hair... you know... "down there"... it is kind of cool... I look at it often in the mirror after a bath or shower... and other girls think I am cool, too because of it...

My mommy loves me very much, and always says that, even though I was "an accident" while she was working in a hotel in Jamaica, I am the best accident that has ever happened to her... Mommy also has a special name for me... She calls me Yuki, because in Japanese, Yuki means "blessing," and she says that I am her special blessing... So when people ask me my name, I tell them, "My name is Tiara, but you may call me 'Yuki...' "

My mommy is also very brainy... just like me... she was not very rich but worked hard and eventually got her degree in sociology (I used to never be able to say that word when I was little!), and then she worked hard and now she is an HR director in a very large company... thats a person who looks after all the people that work in that firm... and all the while she has always been a good mommy too...

When I was younger my gran used to look after me... my gran was also very brainy but she never had the chance to work, because when she was young 'we were supposed to look after our husbands'... I never knew my grandad because he died before I was born... and gran and I always were together until she died too, almost a year ago...

I can stay at school much longer now that I am older, and so my mom is still working hard in her office, and sometimes later at night from home, too...

My mom sometimes has to travel to conferences or other offices but it used to be that gran would look after me so it was not a problem... and now that she is gone... now it is... well... it is more difficult...

But my clever mommy found a solution, though... she has scheduled her travel during school holidays... and I am going to a summer camp for a little while until Mommy is finished and then we are going for some more holiday together...

It is going to be great because we looked at different camps and we found a horse-back riding camp and after a lot of asking mom said OK and so now I am finally going to learn how to ride a horse!!!

I can't wait!!!

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Hi, there. I'm Karen Jensen.

So, uhmm... OK, about me, I guess. Like I said, my name is Karen, I'm twenty years old, and I'm in my second year of college. I'm studying to be a veterinarian, and I'm passionate about horses and horseback riding.

I grew up around horses. We didn't have any ourselves, but our closest neighbors had eight, and they let me hang out around the barn constantly. They taught me to ride; from the first moment that I sat a horse, I knew that I'd never stop wanting to ride. They're such beautiful, graceful, powerful creatures. When I'm on horseback, it's almost like the horse and I are one being.

I know how silly that sounds, but that's how it feels to me.

Let's see... I was sort of a loner in school. Not anti-social or anything, but I never made friends very easily. It got worse when I was about nine years old. I started to, uhm... Well, I started developing early. My breasts started to show when I was nine, and by the time I was twelve, they were bigger than any of the other girls in school.

When I was younger, gym classes were embarrassing because I was the only girl who had any breasts at all, then my pubic hair started to come in, and I was like this freak when we were in the showers. The other girls all looked like little kids still, and here I was, sprouting boobs, and growing hair down there. They made fun of me, and I hated having to shower with all the other girls.

Later, when they all started to develop, too, it was just as bad, because I was always the one with the biggest breasts. I don't know why, but for some reason, when girls develop that much so early, they get a reputation for being, well... For being easy. It didn't matter that I hardly ever dated, when I did, everybody just assumed that I put out for the guy.

All because I had big breasts. Like that's some kind of crime or something.

Truth is, the only sexual experience I had until I got to college, unless you count a kiss goodnight from one of my rare dates, was masturbation. I'll talk more about that later.

It seems like all the girls hated me. And the boys? I couldn't talk to them, because I hated how they never looked at me, just at my chest. I hated that so much. It was like... Well, it was like all I was, really, was a pair of boobs.

So yeah... I kind of kept to myself most of the time in school. I did pretty well academically, well enough that I got a good scholarship to help pay for veterinary school.

My parents never noticed anything wrong. They never noticed much of anything at all, really, except for my appearance. Other than that, it's like I was just something that they had a responsibility for, but that didn't really hold a lot of interest for them. They have their own lives, and their own things going on. I guess sometimes I was just in the way.

I never wanted for anything. If I needed money for some activity that was involved in, they gave it to me. They weren't abusive, they just seemed really distant, like strangers in the same house with me. I'm the only kid they had. I guess after they had me, they figured out that parenthood isn't all it's cracked up to be.

After I left for college, I never went back home. I still talk to my parents once in a while, but not often. Like I said, the only thing they seemed to worry about was my appearance. As long as I looked nice, they were satisfied. They didn't really care that I did well in school. I guess I was sort of like a decoration around the house or something. I don't know... We're not close, like I said.

When I got to college, I met this guy, he was a senior. He was really nice, and he actually looked me in the eye when he talked to me. Well, most of the time, anyway He made an effort, at least. After we went out a few times, I finally decided that it was time to give up my virginity. It seemed like I was the only girl in my dorm who was still a virgin.

Always the outcast odd girl, you know? So I decided to go for it.

It wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I mean, it wasn't bad, or traumatic, or anything like that. It just felt... I don't know, it felt strange. Like, "Is this all there is to sex?" It just didn't feel... "Right," you know? It felt like there was something, I don't know... Like there was something missing.

After that first time, the relationship, if you can call it that, kind of just fizzled out. We went out a couple of more times, but we never slept together again. Honestly, that was kind of a relief. I'm pretty sure he thought I didn't like him, because I didn't get all excited and turned on and horny when it did happen.

Actually, I didn't really feel much one way or the other about him. I mean, he was a nice enough guy, but I didn't have like all these romantic, passionate thoughts and feelings about him. I liked him enough, but I didn't really care about him, you know?

OK, so I guess I should tell you now about masturbating when I was still a kid, because I think it's kind of relevant to what happens later. I started masturbating when I was like ten, I think... Yeah, because I was doing it pretty regularly by the time I was eleven. I must have been about ten when I figured out that I could do things to myself that felt really nice.

This is so embarrassing. It's hard to explain, too, because even though I think I understand it now, for the longest time I didn't. I didn't even really wonder about it much until recently.

I already told you that my breasts started to develop when I was nine. By the time I started to masturbate, they were very definitely breasts, not just little nubbins that gave a hint of things to come. When I think back on it now, I can remember some things that I never really paid a lot of mind to then.

When I masturbated, I used to pay really close attention to my body. I mean, yeah, that makes sense, right? But I mean... Well, yeah, I paid attention to the things my body felt, and how it reacted to what I was doing. But I also... Well...

See, it's like when I'd pay attention to my breasts. Yeah, it felt really nice when I'd caress them and play with my nipples and stuff, but there was more to it than that. Sometimes, a lot of the time, actually, I'd pay more attention to what my hands were feeling than to what they made my body feel.

Does that make sense?

It's like... I'd be lying on my bed touching myself. And when my hands were on my breasts, I'd stare down at them. I loved looking at them. Yeah, I was really aware of the things my body felt, but I was more aware of how my breasts looked, how they felt in my hands. How soft they were, the texture of my skin and nipples.

And when I'd touch myself, well, down there, it was the same thing. It felt really nice, and eventually, I learned how to make myself have an orgasm, but a lot of the time, I was more interested in the sensations that my brain got through my fingers, not from them. Do you understand what I mean? I don't know if I'm making any sense here...

A lot of the time it was all about what I saw, about the textures and the scents, about the way I sounded when I started to feel really good from what I was doing. It's like, I was touching myself, but not myself. Like I was touching someone else, and that was just... Well, I liked it a lot.

Like I said, though, I didn't really pay much mind to it at the time. I never talked to anyone about masturbation, so all I had to go on was what I'd taught myself. I just kind of figured this was normal.

Anyway, the only reason I mention it is because... God, this is so embarrassing!

After my freshman year in college, I got a job as a counselor at a summer camp. This camp focuses on horseback riding, so it was a perfect job for me. I got actually got paid to ride, and to teach younger girls how to ride. It was amazing! And I'll be going back there again this summer, too. I love it!

Anyway, my first year there, I met another girl, not a counselor, really, she was more a supervisor. She was twenty-six then, and she's a really good rider. Well, we kind of hit it off right away. We became best friends, which meant a lot to me, because I've never really had a lot of friends.

And uhm... Well... Eventually, it was like one thing led to another, and we became lovers.

It scared me to death at first. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what to do. And I was freaking out, worrying about things like, "What if someone finds out I like women?"

Because I do, that much I know now, and I owe it to her that I do. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. I don't know if I'm really comfortable with the labels, you know? "Lesbian." "Dyke." "Queer." You know what I mean...

But once it happened, it was like, "Oh, my God! THIS is what I've been needing!" Like that cliche about the light bulb going off over your head, you know? It was like, that's why I used to get so turned on when I'd masturbate, and be more focused on the messages to my brain from my hands and eyes and ears and nose than on the orgasm itself.

I think subconsciously, I was trying to imagine what it was like making love to another girl.

Is that weird? I mean, for a kid that age to have feelings like that, and not even know it?

We were lovers that whole summer, and when I went back to school this year, I saw her a couple more times. She drove up to visit me, which was really cool. But I probably won't see her again. She got an offer for a job that she couldn't turn down, and she's living like on the other side of the country.

I mean, I can deal with that, even though I miss her something awful. But, what do I do about this? I mean...

OK... I'm a lesbian. God, it feels so weird to say that! But I am. And now, I have to try and figure out how to deal with that, because I'm pretty damned sure it's not going to wear off anytime soon, you know? I mean...

It sort of changes everything I ever thought I knew about myself, you know?

I'm so freakin' confused...

~ To Be Continued ~