Summer Blessing ~ Chapter I

by BabyKeiko & Daddy's Little Slut~Muffin

~ Chapter I ~

I parked my car in the main parking lot of Equine Adventures, which is the name of the summer camp for girls where I work. This is my second year working here, and I can't wait to get started again. Last summer was a great time for me, and not just because of all the riding that I got to do. I kind of have this thing for horses, which you'll probably see soon enough. In fact, you'll probably get sick of the way I can ramble on and on about them. Horses are the one thing that I never, ever get tired of.

I guess I should tell you, I figured out last summer that I'm a lesbian. There was a supervisor working here at the camp, (I won't tell you her name because she could probably get into trouble if anyone found out), and she and I became really good friends. After that, we ended up having an affair. I guess I'm sort of trying to get everything straight in my head now. I mean, I don't regret what happened between us, not at all. It was the most amazing, beautiful, perfect thing that ever happened to me.

Now though, I'm still trying to figure out who I am. See, for the longest time, I wasn't really aware of how I felt. I mean, it never really dawned on me, not consciously anyway, that I have a thing for girls. Then last summer happened, and it was like, everything that I've never really understood about myself suddenly opened up in front of me. I didn't have a lot of experience sexually with guys, mostly I guess because it just never felt right. Actually, I've only had sex with a guy one time, and I knew when it happened that something was missing. I just didn't know what.

Now I do know. What was missing was a female partner. It's just that... Well, it's really hard trying to reinvent yourself, you know? All the things that I thought I knew about myself aren't so definite anymore. I look at other girls in a completely different way now. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just that now I can admit to myself how I'm looking at them. That's probably more accurate.

Anyway, I parked my car, and went into the main building to check in and find out where I'd be staying this year. The classes are divided up by age groups, just like the cabins are. Last year, I worked with the really little kids, girls who were six to eight years old. I taught them the very basics of riding. It was lots of fun, but I was hoping that this year I'd be assigned to work with girls who are a little older, so that I could actually spend more time riding, and less time teaching them how to stay on the horse.

As it turned out, I was assigned to the nine to eleven year old age group. I'd seen some of them riding last summer, and a few of them were really good for their age. Some of them would be beginners, but that was okay. This age group tends to be a bit braver about horses than the littlest ones are. I was also happy to know that the group I was assigned to wasn't the show riding group. I can ride an English saddle, but I really prefer to use a western saddle. I guess that's because I grew up riding western, and I just prefer it.

The girls wouldn't be arriving until the next day, so I'd have the cabin to myself for one night, at least. Even though the counselor in each cabin has her own little room, it's not the most private arrangement you'll find. I got my cabin assignment, went to my car and got my duffel bag and my backpack, and walked down the path to my cabin. I went in and threw my bags on the bed, and then I went back to my car. I had brought my own saddle with me, and I needed to bring it to the barn. That would give me a chance to hang out with the horses for a little while, too, and maybe go for a short ride after I had unpacked and settled in.

I drove to the barn, opened the trunk of the car and hefted my saddle up with both hands. There's a bunch of sawhorses in the barn for people to use to keep their saddles on, and I slung mine on the first one I came to. I went back and got the rest of my tack, brought it in and set it on top of the saddle. Then I started to walk down through the barn, stopping at each stall to greet the horses.

When I got to Bella's stall, I stopped and dug a couple of lumps of sugar out of my jacket pocket, holding them in the palm of my hand for her. Bella is my favorite horse at the camp. She's a sweet tempered five-year-old Appaloosa mare. She's docile and easy to handle, but she also loves nothing more than to be given her head and run like the wind. I'd fallen almost as deeply in love with her last summer as I had with my first ever lover and girlfriend.

Seeing Bella again brought me a sharp pang of nostalgia. I used to ride her out alone to meet my lover at every chance I got. We'd arrange to meet somewhere out in the woods or up in the high meadows, and we'd ride there, either separately or together. We'd spend a few hours together, making sweet, slow love to each other while the horses seemed to stand guard over us. A couple of times, we even fell asleep in the tall grass in one of the meadows, waking up in the late afternoon or early evening curled up together, naked. Those times, we made love again, desperately, before we headed back to the cabins.

It's strange. When I had been actively involved with her the summer before, I hadn't bothered to spend any time considering the implications of what we were doing. The implications to me, I mean. I had been so caught up in our affair, so caught up in her, that I hadn't had the time to worry over the fact that my true sexuality was something that I had never expected. It wasn't until later, after she'd told me during our last time together that she was moving across the country to take a job offer that she just couldn't turn down, that I began to worry over the discovery of my lesbian orientation.

Now, it seemed as though I couldn't stop worrying about it. It nagged at me constantly. Even though my parents and I aren't at all close, I worried over coming out to them. I worried that everyone knew, that somehow, all anyone had to do was look at me to know. I began to read all sorts of things into people's expressions; if I was talking to a store clerk, I worried that they were laughing inwardly at the "dyke" standing at the counter. Was it obvious? Did it show on my face? In the way I walk? In the tone of my voice?

I was an emotional train wreck.

I gave Bella some more sugar cubes, telling her that I'd return in a little while and take her out for a ride. Then I left the barn, brought my car back to the main parking lot, and returned to the cabin to settle myself in.

The only real amenity in the cabins was a small, dorm-sized refrigerator in each counselor's room. For me, that meant that I could keep carrots and apples as treats for the horses, and a supply of Perrier for myself. It's my biggest weakness; Perrier water with a slice of lemon. I'd gotten a good cabin this year. My refrigerator even had a small ice tray in the tiny freezer section. I'd have ice for my Perrier.

The first thing I did was fill the ice tray in the communal bathroom in the cabin. It's a rather upscale camp, and each cabin has its own bathroom and shower area. I put the produce and the Perrier that I'd brought with me in the refrigerator, and unpacked my clothes, putting everything into the tiny dresser in the room. The camp provides bedding, but I prefer to use my own sheets. I made the bed, put my backpack and duffel bag under it, and then headed back to the barn to take Bella out for her promised ride.

When I entered the barn, I picked up the bridle that I'd brought with me, the same bridle that I'd used with Bella the year before. I entered her stall, talking quietly to her, and slipped the bit into her mouth, sliding the bridle up over her head. After I'd adjusted the throatlatch and the noseband, I led her out to where I'd left my saddle, talking quietly to her all the while. She was ready to go, eagerness showing in her movements and her step.

After I had the saddle in place, I had to wait for a few moments before I tightened the cinch around her belly. Like many horses, Bella likes to fill her lungs with air while being saddled, in the hopes that the rider will tighten the cinch while her chest is expanded. This can be disastrous - once the saddle in cinched, the horse will expel the air, leaving the cinch loose. I've seen more than one rider wind up falling from a horse as the saddle slid down, ending up hanging below the animal's belly. Hoses though, like people, can only hold their breath for so long. Eventually, Bella had to breathe, and I cinched the saddle down tightly.

I led her out of the barn into the sunlight. I mounted the horse, and we headed out at a walk. I'd take it slowly for a few minutes, giving her time to remember my riding style, and to let her warm up a little. I walked her along one of my favorite trails, a path that winds through a small stand of forested property. When we broke out of the trees again, I nudged Bella into a gentle canter. She was anxious to run, though, and I let her have her head. We galloped across an open meadow, going higher up a rolling mountainside.

I grinned, the wind streaming through my hair, Bella's powerful muscles rolling and flexing beneath me. This is what I live for.

As we crested a rise, I drew up on Bella's reins. She slowed and then stopped, gave me a snort for having made her stop galloping before she was ready to, and stamped the ground with one hoof. I patted her neck, talking to her quietly, telling her what a good horse she is. I took the hobble that I always bring when I go on solo excursions at the camp, and hobbled her front legs so that she couldn't wander far. She didn't mind; she was happy to have the chance to graze on some fresh green grass. I stood there for a moment, then sat down, gazing out over the valley. I could just make out the camp in the distance, off to the southwest.

I had been in this spot before. Last summer. My eyes misted over as I remembered her. The feel of her skin, the taste of her soft mouth. The way that her coal black hair fell around my face as she hovered over me, staring into my eyes before leaning down to kiss me deeply. Her fingers caressing my too-large breasts, then exploring further, touching me everywhere. Her breath, sweet and warm, brushing over my skin as her lips drew hungry sighs from my throat. The way that she made my heart leap, my body dance, my soul sing with joy.

I shook my head, wiping tears from my cheeks. I missed her with an ache that I was sure would never stop.

I had tried to be angry with her for abandoning me. Oh, how I had tried. But I couldn't. For a little while, I had managed to fake it, but I knew I was fooling myself. She had moved across the country to accept a job as the chief riding instructor at a year-round equestrian school. The salary they had offered her was an ungodly high one, and the position was prestigious. Besides, she had never been anything but honest with me. A permanent relationship wasn't something she had any interest in.

That didn't do anything to ease the aching in my soul, though.

I'm not stupid. On one level, I knew that I should just be grateful for the time that I got to share with her, for the happiness she'd brought to me for that brief summer. But my heart didn't really give a damn what my head knew. All it knew was that it had been broken when she waved goodbye to me that last time. There had been tears on her face, and a gentle smile. At least I knew that hurting me hadn't been easy for her.

As I sat there in the meadow listening to Bella greedily eating fresh grass shoots, the warm spring breeze carried the scent of new grass and warm earth to me. I found that I couldn't help but smile through my tears. She had given me, literally, everything. As confused as I felt, as scared as I was at the thought of these new things about myself that I now had to face alone, I knew that what she'd given me was the most valuable gift I'd ever received.

She had taught me who I really am. When she gave herself to me, she had taught me how to give myself to her. I'd learned to embrace the beauty of what she'd offered me. Even though it still frightened me, and I knew that I still had miles to go before I'd feel comfortable in my own skin, I also knew who and what I am, and for that gift, I'll always be in her debt.

But I couldn't help wishing desperately that she was here with me now, our bodies entwined, our souls melding together. Just once, that's all I asked for. Just one more time...

I sighed and shook my head again. I stood up and brushed off the seat of my jeans, and walked to Bella. She didn't bother to lift her head at my approach. She was too busy trying to fill her belly with the tender shoots of new grass. I squatted and removed her hobble, picking up her reins. I put the hobble back in the saddle bag, and mounted again.

Bella swiveled her ears at me, turning her head and giving me a reproachful look for interrupting her meal. I smiled, and reached into the saddle bag once more and retrieved a carrot that I'd brought with me. I broke it in half, and leaned forward in the saddle so she could take it from the palm of my hand, first one piece, then the other. Bella knows I'm a pushover when it comes to treats. I think by now she figures it's only her due.

I urged Bella into a hard gallop. We took a different route back to the camp, skirting the wooded areas, so that she could run to her heart's content all the way back. When she slowed and then stopped outside the barn, she was blowing and puffing, but still stamping her hoof and doing a little dance of excitement. She does love to run!

I removed the saddle and bridle, putting a hackamore over her head, then led her into the corral and walked her for ten minutes, letting her cool down. Then I led her into the barn, and brushed and curried her before returning her to her stall, making sure that she had plenty of hay and fresh water. Then I returned to my cabin. Being such a sucker, I gave her another carrot before I left.

Back in my small room, I stripped off my clothes, threw them in the laundry basket I'd brought, wrapped up in a towel, and went to shower. I turned on the water, and while I waited for it to heat up, hung my towel on a hook.

I showered quickly, wanting to get to the dining hall and eat before they shut down for the night. I hadn't yet put any snacks in my refrigerator, and while I don't mind apples or carrots, I was hungrier than that right now. When I finished, I went back to my room, put on clean clothes, and went to eat.

I remembered some of the kitchen staff from last summer. I was probably being silly, but it seemed as though they were looking at with knowing eyes. Oh, yeah, she's the one who was having an affair with the boss last summer, they seemed to be thinking. I filled a tray quickly and went to eat.

I was the only counselor there, because I'd taken the time to go for a ride before eating. That was fine with me, I really didn't feel like trying to make friends with any of the other counselors just yet. I have a hard time making friends, and now, with my new outlook on other women, I was worried that the rumors would start to fly as soon as they took one look at me. I just knew that I had the word "Lesbian" in glowing neon letters on my forehead, letters that only I was unable to see.

When I got back to my room, I was exhausted. The combination of the long drive, my ride with Bella, and the emotional turmoil of being back here again, in this place where I had fallen so much in love for the first time in my life, had left me exhausted. I pulled off my boots and jeans, maneuvered my bra off without taking off my shirt, and crawled into the tiny bed in my tee-shirt and panties. I fell deeply asleep almost immediately, though I woke with vague memories of dreams where I was back in the meadow, making love with her once again.

I sighed. I'd woken before the alarm went off. I got up and got dressed, went to eat breakfast, and then waited for my girls to begin arriving.

I just wished that I could lighten my mood.