| Girlfriends, Chapter 2 So far, I haven’t told you much about my dad. When I was a baby, he used to babysit me all the time. He was in college back then and lived about a thirty minute ride away, and thinking back, I can only imagine how many parties he missed to be with me. We had a lot of fun though, and he let me do stuff I wasn’t really allowed to do. When we lost our parents, he was fresh out of college, and had just gotten a job as a sports writer for the local paper. I had no idea back then, but thinking about it now, I realize that what he did, adopting me, was a pretty amazing thing. *** Tuesday, December 16 Dear diary. I don’t know any words to describe what I’m feeling right now. What happened today is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Coming home from school, I found a note from dad. He had to do something at work and wouldn’t be home until late. Maybe a half an hour later, Lynn came by. She was looking exceptionally beautiful, even with the pink dress she was wearing. It was about a half an hour later, and we were in my room doing homework. Lynn was taking some notes, and I found myself not being able to take my eyes of her. I simply couldn’t keep myself from looking at her. She noticed, of course. ”I must be very interesting,” she said, still writing. ”What?” I asked, pretending not to understand. ”You're looking at me.” ”Oh, I was just wondering if you’d like something to eat,” I made up. ”I’m fine.” She looked at me and smiled, and I just gave in. ”And…,” I hesitated, ”and I think I’m in love with you.” Her eyes went blank. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me or through me. She turned her head and looked down on the desk for a second, before she ran out of the room and down the stairs. I just sat there on my chair, not moving an inch for several minutes. The first thought I had, that I can remember, was that I would never see her again. She was probably already home by this time, having run away from me as fast as she could. Eventually, I got my head together and went down stairs. And there she was, sitting on the living room couch, her legs pressed tight against her body and her chin on her knees, staring into the wall. She looked like she was about to start crying at any second. I had no idea what to do. I just sat down next to her on the couch, not being able to think of anything to say. For five minutes, none of us moved an inch. ”How do you know?” she asked suddenly, taking me by complete surprise. It took a while before I could answer. ”I can’t stop thinking about you,” I said, ”and I dream of touching you and kissing you. And whenever we’re together I can’t stop looking at you. And I hate Thursdays, ’cause I know I won’t see you that entire day.” She smiled a little. I leaned forward and whispered, ”And you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. And you make me laugh.” Then I kissed her right on the lips as softly as I could, for just a couple of seconds. She didn’t push me away. In fact, she did nothing at all, except stare at that spot on the wall. I got up and took her hand. ”Let’s go back up to my room.” She followed me as I led her up the stairs. We sat down on my bed, not doing anything for a minute, just looking at each other. I kissed her again on the lips. She didn’t kiss me back, but the distant look in her eyes was gone. I kissed her again, again, and again. She did nothing. Next, I kissed her nose. I got a hint of a smile in return. Then I kissed her on the forehead, which made her giggle. I kissed her again on the lips. ”How about kissing me back?” I suggested and tried to kiss her once more, but she backed of. She sat there looking down on the floor. ”I don’t know how to,” she said. ”Neither do I,” I told her. ”But you and Billy Taylor...” ”Never did anything. We went to a movie and then he kissed me good night. That was it. Our lips barely even touched.” ”So you didn’t make out?” ”No. Trust me, this is as new to me as it is to you. I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing. All I know is that I want to do it with you.” I looked deep in her eyes and then kissed her. She kissed me back! It was barely noticeable, but still… She kissed me back! We kissed once more. This time there was no question about it. She kissed me back, with a little bit of passion even, for half a minute before we broke it of. ”That was nice,” she said. ”Want to do it some more?” I asked her. ”Yes.” ”Why don’t we get a bit more comfortable,” I suggested, as I climbed up on the bed. She followed and I laid her down on her back. I moved in closer to her and put my hand behind her neck. Then we kissed, or rather, she kissed me. I didn’t get a chance to react before she was all over me, pressing her lips on mine. It was a total shock! ”Did you like it?” she asked me afterwards. ”Like crazy.” ”I have no idea what I’m doing.” ”Silly girl,” I said, ”that was perfect. Do it some more.” ”Love to,” she said and kissed me again. This time I was ready and could kiss her back. When she opened her mouth a little bit, I stuck out my tongue and touched her upper teeth and lip with it. She pulled back in surprise. ”What was that?” she asked me with a confused look on her face. ”My tongue. I’ve heard people use it when they kiss, and since we are experimenting… Did you like it?” ”I don’t know.” ”Can I try it again?” I asked. She hesitated. ”Ok. Can I try it?” ”Yes.” We kissed some more. This time we tried using our tongues. It turned out to be a lot more difficult. We had to stop every once in a while when one, or more often both of us, started giggling. But we got better at it and soon we could kiss for a full fifteen or twenty seconds straight. All good things must come to an end though, kissing included. I happened to look over at the clock and realized almost two hours had passed since she came over. We both got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I swept my arms around her and kissed her one more time before I got up. ”I…” she began, looking straight into my eyes. ”I think I’m in love with you, too.” My knees went weak and I almost fell to the floor, but I managed to get back on bed. I then gave her the biggest hug I could and held her like that for several minutes. I didn’t ever want to let her go. We didn’t get any studying done after that, but since I had promised to help Lynn with the history test, and since it was my fault we didn’t get anything done today, I told her I will help her tomorrow. I will miss soccer practice, but they will have to do without me. I have a promise to keep to my girlfriend. *** I have never been a prude. When I was younger, I used to be naked around the house all the time. When I started school, dad told me I had to wear clothes, even when it was just the two of us. So I put on this T-shirt I had that covered my thighs halfway to my knees. He let me get away with it. When I got older, he used to sneak a peak every once in a while. I don’t know if it was more than just curiosity that made him look, I never asked, but it was a bit exhilarating to know he was looking. Not that I ever had a thing for my dad or anything. He bought me sweatpants to wear, and PJ’s too, but I seldom wore them. I remember the day I introduced Lynn and my dad. She called him ’Mr. Edwards’, which was a kick for him, I could tell. None of my other friends ever called him that. When I said her name, he reacted with surprise for a split second, but didn’t say anything about it. Later that night, after Lynn had left, he told me. ”You probably don’t remember this, but you and Lynn have met before, ten years ago. Lynn’s father was working for the governor, while Dad’s construction company was doing some contract work and the two of them worked closely together on the project, and became friends as well. Around that time, the governor hosted a family dinner party, where both our families were invited. That included me, since I was still in high school at the time. Now, I’ve been to many of these functions, most of them I don’t remember, but this one I remember like it was yesterday. You had been adopted maybe a month or so earlier, and to be honest, I hadn’t quite gotten used to having you around, yet. At the party I was sort of unofficially responsible for looking after you. Of course, I was seventeen and more interested in finding a pretty girl to flirt with. At one point I realized I hadn’t seen you for half an hour, and decided to find you. And I did, in the governor’s study, sleeping on the couch. Only, you weren’t alone. Lynn was with you, and the two of you had cuddled up together. I remember sitting on a chair, just watching you two lying there. And I remember it so clearly because it was at that moment I fell in love with you. I knew at that moment that I would always watch out for you and take care of you when you needed it, no matter what.” All girls that age take their parents pretty much for granted, and I was no different. Hearing him say that made me realize just how incredibly lucky I was to have him as a father. It also had a strange side effect. I told Lynn about our previous meeting the next day, but what she found the most interesting was that our families knew each other. I found out why later, when Lynn’s mom called my dad and asked him about it. Apparently, Lynn had told her mom, and asked if she could sleep over that weekend, instead of being home with the babysitter when they went to an office Christmas party. Her strongest argument was that our parents already knew each other. It worked perfectly, and my dad said yes as well. He, too, had grown very fond of Lynn by that time. *** Saturday, December 20 Dear diary. Being in love is not a feeling. It’s a hundred feelings, all mixed up with each other. And they are everything from the most wonderful I’ve ever felt, to completely terrifying. Then there’s the nervousness and the insecurity and not knowing what will happen next. Mostly, though, it’s a bliss. Being in love with Lynn is most definitely the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. Lynn was dropped of by her mother after dinner yesterday. She was wearing this flowered dress that she couldn’t possibly have picked out for herself. Doesn’t her mother know she’s eleven? As soon as her mother left, I took her upstairs and gave her a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants to wear. Dad had picked out a movie, an old black and white one as usual. He said it’s a real classic, Casablanca. I hadn’t heard of it before, but since it’s got Bogart in it, I was hoping for another Maltese Falcon or Big Sleep. It wasn’t even close. I enjoyed it anyway, once my disappointment wore off. Lynn, on the other hand, loved every moment of it. After the movie we had a snack and got ready for bedtime. When I got up to my room, Lynn had already changed into her sleepwear, which was this gigantic white nightgown that covered everything but her hands and feet. She looked like a ghost. When I undressed, she turned away and stared into the wall. I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I put on the green PJ’s I never use otherwise. When I was done, she had already lay down on the mattress and crawled under the cover. I wasn’t tired at all and sat down in my armchair instead. Since this is where I usually masturbate, and since I’m always at least a little bit turned on whenever Lynn is around, I started feeling myself up when she was looking away. I had to stop though when she turned around and looked at me. I would have loved to keep doing it, but I am still afraid I might scare her away with stuff like that. She stared at me with a curious look. ”What are you doing?” she then asked me. ”Nothing. Just sitting here, doing nothing,” I replied. If I can’t do it, I thought, maybe I can talk about it. ”How often do you masturbate?” I asked her. ”What’s that?” ”You know, touching yourself. To make you feel good.” She looked at me like I was crazy. She really seemed to have no clue what I meant. To illustrate, I held my hand over my pussy, outside my pants, and moved it back and forth. She diverted her eyes and covered them with her hand. ”Stop that!” she demanded. ”Why?” I asked. ”Because,” she said, ”it’s dirty.” ”But it feels so nice,” I insisted. ”Please stop,” she begged me. ”I’ve stopped.” She looked at me again, this time with a look that said, who are you? I still wanted to talk about it. She’s my girlfriend and I want to talk with her about stuff like that. ”So you’ve never done it?” I asked her. ”No! Girls are not supposed to touch themselves there.” ”According to whom?” ”It’s just how it is.” ”So you never…?” ”No, never!” ”But, what about when you’re showering?” ”When I have to, I touch, but only little as possible.” ”And what do you feel then?” ”Nothing.” She blushed a little. ”Can we stop talking about it?” ”Sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” ”Can’t we just go to sleep now?” ”No.” ”Why not?” I walked over to her and sat down on the mattress. ”Because,” I said in a low voice, ”we haven’t kissed goodnight yet.” I pulled her to me and kissed her softly on the lips. She kissed back, but wasn’t really into it. I held my arms around her neck and back, and looked into her eyes. ”I love you, and I apologize if I made you uncomfortable before. Please forgive me,” I pleaded, and kissed her once more. ”You’re forgiven, my dear,” she said and kissed me for confirmation. ”You know, this mattress is not very comfortable,” I said. ”There’s nothing wrong with it.” She was right, it’s a good mattress. ”It’s not good enough for my baby girl. Not when there’s a perfectly fine bed right here with room for the both of us.” ”You want me to sleep in the bed with you?” ”I can’t think of a better way to fall asleep than in the arms of the girl I am madly in love with.” ”But, what about your dad?” ”He never comes in here in the morning. If it makes you feel any better, I can lock the door.” ”That’s not necessary.” She got onto the bed from the right side, and I crawled up behind her from the left and snuggled up as close to her as I possibly could, before pulling the cover over us both. I lay awake for an hour, just listening to her steady breathing, before falling asleep embracing her warm body. |