| Mom's Journal 4 This portion of the story is for texture and context... For context please read Parts 1-3 first... ...The next morning I awaken in my Mom's sumptuous bed. There is a note on the bedside table: 'Chloe, Please forgive me for being so weak. I should not have let what happened last night occur. If you want to act like it never happened, I will respect your wishes. I love you so much. But I can't allow my lapse in judgement to impact your life and your future. I have gone to the gym to sweat out this hangover and punish myself for my irresponsibility. Besides, I don't think I could have faced you until I could process my feelings and to allow you to reflect on yours. And .to make you a nice breakfast when you came downstairs' It couldn't have been any better. I stretch out my arms and smile with intense satisfaction. Of course I expected no less of Mom. It is my job now to confess to reading one quick passage from her journal and to prove that I have no regrets. Indeed I want to spend the next few days of my summer vacation making love with my Mom. Dad won't be back until Sunday and Gladys leaves every day @ 4:00 p.m. -- life is good!! First things first though. I must copy pages from her journal before she returns. When I confess to peeking I am sure she will hide it or destroy it. And as much as she deserves her privacy I want to know all I can about what being an adult is like. My fathers study has a huge printer. After I retrieve the journal I immediately blindly copy all 140 pages of the diary. 'no time to read - just copy and return the book asap...I hide the pages between my dresser mirror and the loose backing for now. Gladys made me French Toast and Strawberry Compote. She is like family more than a household employee. She is about 26 I think -- and always so nice to me. Later that morning Mom enters sheepishly through the kitchen door. I waste no time and rush to her and graciously hug and squeeze her. A sigh of relief is followed by a kiss on the cheek. "Are you Okay?" she asks. "Mom, I am happier than I have ever been in my life" "I knew you wanted me and I just made sure you had me" I really think she turned the page at that moment. She was going to trust me to be her girl and that we would continued to share our joy. If torrid sex was a part of that then so be it. "My God Chloe - I want you to be free to be different if you want. And I will never hold you back from whatever hapiness you find" "How on earth did you know so much about sex?" "Mom -- ! The internet...?! - I knew I was gay since I was 8 years old. 'Being around sexy little girls, changing outfits backstage...I having being masturbating for a long time and imagining getting to do all those 'adult' things made me feel alive" "That and I got a glimpse of your diary that helped me try to make you happy" "Oh dear"..."Okay" :::she blushes::: "Okay -- I don't want to know too much right now. This is more than I can process in one day." she explains. "But I do know that responsibility and success requires doing your work and delaying gratification. My God that is partly why I was so uninhibited last night" she continued "But we will go with the flow Okay? And I can't 'not' be your mother too...the... uh -- other part will just have to be separate" "I understand" I reply and quixotically scamper upstairs 'Going to take a nap! -- 'love you" This gets her off the hook and allows me to read more from the diary... I read again from the last entries going backward. I find out she is planning on divorcing my Dad. Which is fine with me. He is aloof and surly. He never went to my recitals to speak of. It has always been me and mom against the world. Besides she said ever since she got pregnant they stopped having sex. No wonder she was so horny. But the next bit of history floored me. Apparently her dad - my late Grandpa -- used to sexually molest Christi. Oh no! That bastard! She says in the diary that that may have been why she married a forceful man -- out of a need to be sub-servant. I love mom all the more now for her courage and restraint. But the next passage explains even more": 'Chloe will be turning ten next week. That was the age I was when my sister and I used to snuggle in bed after dad would have his way with us -- I am trying so hard to make life better for Chloe than I had it. Janna and I (her younger sister) would snuggle together for comfort. Sex was the only way we knew to express love. We were soft and caring. And I really never wanted the attention of men. But I could not shake the neediness. So now I think of Chloe the way I thought of my sweet little sister. I want to kiss her lips and explore every part of her body...' I found out that my Mom has had lesbian affairs to this day. In fact she and Gladys our housekeeper fuck all the time. WOW! Is this how it is?... Stay tuned for a 3-way and a foursome - and yes some preteens soon... |