Gwen's Growing Up, Part 1

by Gwen Moans

This is not a story, more of an account of the most memerable moments of my childhood that helped shape me to the confidant woman that I am today. Today I am a BBW Single Mom of two. I know I'm fat and that my ass is huge but I also know that I can be loved by many different kinds of people. And that there are many different kinds of love. Happiness is not Traditional! But this is when I was a young girl, not thin but not fat. Thicker than most girls but very firm to the touch. And I was touched, a lot. Opening up like this is scaring me. I'm afriad to do it. Afraid to hit "send". But I feel I NEED to do this. And maybe I'll find the courage to tell more. This isn't EVERYTHING that happened... just a start. Please, respond. Tell me I'm not alone. Tell me I AM alone. Tell me I'm normal. Tell me I'm sick. Call me a slut, whore, bitch, psycho. I'm doing this to be heard and in turn hear you as well. I'm so scared... here I go.

I remember being a young girl at the age of three and discovering how nice my pussy would feel when I touched it. I used to have an Ernie Doll (Bert and Ernie) four inches shorter than me and had clothes that would come off. I would strip him and myself at night. Lie on him or hold his orange ass as he lay on me kissing and humping him. You could say that Muppet was my first boyfriend and lover. Honestly I kind of wish I still had him.. although these days I'd put a strap on to his plush body or stich in a pocket between his legs to slip in a bullet vibe (lol).

I loved being naked too. Especially in the summer. Lying in my room under the warm sunlight after a bath. Letting it warm and dry my body. I would often rub my own plump ass and hump the carpet loving how it felt. Why I didn't end up a nudist as an adult is beyond me. (lol)

Later that year I had my first girlfriend. I wasn't a virgin. My older brother (Jimmy) and cousin (Tessa) had gotten me and my cousin (Tom) to get naked with them and taught us how to have sex... they watched and then had us watch them. Then at night in bed we did it again and then switched. I probebly would never have agreed to let Jimmy have me if I hadn't had and seen so much sex already that evening. But as I was saying, At 7 I had my first girlfriend.

She was my best friend, Stephie. One night, for no reason that I am aware off, as we were half way through getting undressed and into nighties she asked if I wanted to see something really cool. I was just putting on my nighty with my legs spread wide as I sat on the floor (no modesty or shame but no understanding of girl sex either) she pushed her foot to my pussy and rubbed her big toe up and down my slit.

I froze. I was scared. She was totally naked rubbing my pussy and I was aware of her naked body for the first time. Looking at her pretty face, flat chest, long legs (for a 6 year old) and her own pussy. She asked if it felt good. I didn't want this and didn't ask fo rit but also I didn't want her to stop. I slowly nodded yes. She pushed me by the shoulders on my back and started kissing me. I instantly grabbed her ass as we kissed. I had sex with my brother and cousin but never kissed them! My first kiss and it was with a girl. And she was naked.. on top of me.. in my arms and hands. Got a surge of desire and rolled her on her back. She pulled my nighty off and we kissed as she pulled my leg between hers pressing her pussy on my thigh and her thigh onto my pussy. SHe grabbed my ass and helped pulled... I knew what she wanted and started humping. My god, she was better than Ernie had ever been! As we made love I blurted out "Oh Stephie I love you!" She said it back and we kissed again. Then her mom called up from the living room "Girls, Icecream" and we jumped up and got dressed excited for dessert. Even passionate lesbian sex couldn't drive out the little girl in us. (lol) That night she woke me up and told me to strip.. I did happily and she got on me, after kissing a bit I slipped my hand down to her pussy to feel her. She did the same to me and it was wondeful. Then she suprised me again.. she got down between my legs and ate me out.

I wasn't ready for that. I couldnt do it. Not for three months. We'd kiss touch finger and she'd lick me. Then that winter she said it was unfair and that if I didn't lick her she'd never to it to me again. So I got down and kissed,, kissed again.. then licked. It lit a fire in me. I ate her for an hour. She had to pull me off! We were best friends and girl friends for 5 years.There were a few other girls from time to time but Stephie was the one I always wanted to be with. She moved away and I cried for a month. Didn't have another girl friend until I was an adult.

Though, there was one more male in my life that no one knew about when I was growing up. Jake.

When I was a baby until about 4 we had a black lab named Hank. I would ride on his back like a pony. It was awesome! My own horse.. kind of, not really.

When I was about 8 I had a dog name Jake who was a run Lab Dalmation mix. One morning I was playing on the floor in my nighty with a puzzle and Jake jumped on MY back. It felt funny and tickled. I thought it was a game and laughed and laughed. So when ever he jumped up I'd let him. It only lasted about 10 seconds before he lost interest and jumped off.

So one morning, weeks later, I showed my brother and he FREAKED! "Jake, get down. BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" I didn't know what was so bad and she said "Dog's aren't supposed to do that." I shrugged it off and told him I would never let Jake do that again.

But I did.. in my bedroom alone. I soon realized WHAT Jake was doing and wanted to do to me. It was naughty and that thrilled me. When everyone was outside or on the rare times I was home alone I'd bring him to my room and get naked then crouch down for him. I held his paws on my shoulders so he wouldn't stratch me and coo at him. "Good boy. Good doggy, Jake" and wag my ass. He'd hump against me and soon felt his cock against the small of my back and sometimes between my ass right in my crack. I loved it. He'd make me a slimy mess but that was fine, I'd just shower right after. I so wanted to tell Stephie.. even do it with her but was terrified she'd be mad and no longer have sex with me. So I kept it to myself. I loved behing humped by him. I had no idea by holding his paws like that it prevented me from getting down all the way and this inabled him to fuck me. I was a little girl, a naughty one, but still so unaware. I just thought he wanted to hump ON me, not IN me.

We moved when I was 10 and couldn't keep him. So I got home VERY early one day from school. I didn't play with my friends as normal... It was My last day with him and we were alone. For the first time I lay on my side with him on his side and rubbed my pussy against his cock. He lay there and let me. He never came but neither did I. I told him I loved him and cried as I humped on him. I always loved his warm fur on my back and then feeling it on my belly and chest... I wished we'd done it that way from the start.

I soon stopped thinking about him... I didn't think about him for years in fact! I was 26 when I thought about it and realized what had happened. Dog is Man's best friend. I wasn't Jakes best friend and not even a boy.. I was a loving girl... I was his bitch. I still masturbate thinking of him and letting my mind take things farther than they had gone. After I climax to these thoughts I feel so used. ;) (lol)