An Online Friend

by Gwen Moans

An On-line Friend (As Told by Kira-Mom)

I don't really understand how it all happened. All I do know is what did happen. Why? I'm not sure other than in the moment it was I wanted without regard to how I would feel afterwards. And afterwards there was a lot of guilt. And still is.

This is not a confession. It's more of a way look at things from a distance. I'm writing this for me to read and only me. So in a way it IS a confession but only to myself... to my soul, as tortured as it may be.

I'm a single woman, 42 years old. I'm 5'8 and "thick"; I believe that is the kind way to put it. I'm a size 18 with 44 D breasts that do sag. I believe I am pretty but sexy isn't a word I'd use to describe myself. I have long legs, big thighs and a "ghetto booty" that sticks way out. Honestly I'd be happy with my body if there were a little less hips and a flat behind. My skin is white but my DNA never told my body that. I have the figure of what seems to be the average (out of shape) black woman. I am grateful that my stomach never bulged out like my ass did. It's flat (not skinny flat but vertical) and soft. Very soft... I'd say it's a tummy, not a belly or gut.

I've never been married. I would never say my children were mistakes but they definitely were not planed. In fact, they have two separate fathers, James and Pat.

Pat is a black man who was quite fond of that big ol' butt of mine. He wasn't sweet. He wasn't romantic. He just like curvy white girls for fun but not for love. He once admitted to me his mother would be ashamed of him if she ever knew about us or any of the other white girls he'd been fucking.

We met in high school. I always wanted to be his girlfriend. And in my desperation I said yes to everything. I'd say we had sex on our third date but you actually have to go DO SOMETHING for it to BE a date.

We simply made out in his car or my room when my parents weren't home. First time he fingered me and I stroked him off. I was shocked. I'd never seen a cock so big! This was with our clothes on. Pants undone. Though my tits were out of my bra with my shirt pulled up to my neck. I was so amazed by it. I knew I wanted him. He wasn't my first but he was my first black guy.

At least one a month he'd come to me. Pull me in my car regardless who I was with and fuck me. I always hoped he'd have loved me. That if I just kept giving myself to him, giving him my body, he'd then give me his heart. But he never did.

Eventually the pain went away and it actually felt good. REALLY good. The things I said. Oh gawd. Girls in love will do whatever they think the boy they love wants or would like.

On all fours getting it good and hard, having my big ass spanked, he said he wish he could fuck my ass too. I was scared. My stomach went cold and I stopped moving, though he didn't. I looked back and said, "You can if you want."

He chuckled and said it would hurt. I told him it's hurt before. "I kind of miss you hurting me like that."

He slipped out, raised my hips a bit and pressed hard. I tried to stay as relaxed as I could. I'd fingered my own ass, two fingers sometimes so I know not to tense up. I don't know how successful I was at being relaxed because it did hurt. Hurt like hell. But Pat was in heaven.

"Oh Kira! Oh I love you!"

He finally said it. At least that's what I heard. What I wanted to hear. What he said was "Oh Kira! FUCK I love your ass!"

We got in a huge fight soon after. After he came I hugged him kissing him. He had asked what had gotten into me. I nuzzled up telling him how happy I was. He said "You like anal that much?"

I pushed him back saying "No, you told me you loved me."

He laughed in my face explaining what he had really said. There I was. By then 18, naked, fat, with cum in my ass dribbling down my deep long crack to my thigh as I lay on my side starting to cry.

I told him to get out and never call me again. He didn't care. He got dressed and said "It was fun while it lasted," zipped up his jeans and left.

I knew that he was using me those two years. But this was the first time I felt used. And I hated it. Not that this fight mattered. Not that it made any kind of difference that he left because the damage was done. I was broken hearted and pregnant, as I would find out a few weeks later.

Pat isn't around. I do receive child support but only because the state takes most of his pay checks automatically and then sends it to me. As it turns out his mother wasn't the woman Pat made her out to be. Maybe it was the fact I was carrying her grandchild but she was warm and loving.

Finding out I was pregnant caused my father to lose it. He was a pastor and kicked me out of the house. I had no where to go so Bea, Pat's mother, took me in. Pat was pissed that she did this. And her being a very family oriented woman kicked him out until he was ready to grow up and take care of this family he created.

He left... he never came back. I actually taken his room in Bea's house. Or, "B-Momma" as I was told to call her. Soon she became my Lamaze partner. She threw a baby shower for me, though her family and friends were there. A few of my friends also showed up but none of my family.

Being pregnant wasn't the only problem. I was a curious girl about my body, about sex in general. And, well, was pretty neglected growing up. So I sought out love elsewhere. The main place I looked for it was in bed. I thought sex equaled love. So over the years I had been caught masturbating at a young age (6 to be specific), been caught naked with my best friend, Tammy, kissing and touching. I'd even been caught by my aunt in bed with my cousin, Tom.

So it was pregnant, with a mixed baby no less, that was the final straw.

When I was 8 months pregnant B-Momma was rubbing down my thighs and belly with Coco Butter. She did this often. She said it'd reduce and even prevent stretch marks. And, she was right.

This one time she asked why my family rejected me and the baby. I tried to tell her it was a race thing (not wanting to admit all taboo behavior). But she could tell I wasn't being 100% honest. I broke down in tears and confessed it all to her. The masturbating, the girlfriend, the incest.

B-Momma cuddled me, kissed my forehead rocking me telling me it was ok. That she didn't reject me. That she still loved me. I blubbered into her bosom that I loved her too. That she was the mother I always hoped my mother would be for me. She said "It's ok Kira, girl. B-Momma loves you."

I looked up at her, felling like a child, and she continued, "And baby girl. If it felt good then it wasn't wrong. Did it feel good, sweetie?"

"It did feel good. All of it." "All of it?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

I nodded yes.

"Well girl... you haven't done anything that your B-Momma hasn't done once or twice."

She smiled down at me but it was the kind of smile Pat had given me when he was getting what he wanted from me sexually.

"I.. I thought black woman didn't have sex with woman." I said softly, now feeling her finger tips kneading my back.

"No baby. Some of us do. We just don't talk about it. And I have to say, it's been a long time for me. And B-Momma does miss it. Do you miss it, honey?" She leaned down and planted a soft wet lingering kiss on my forehead, this time shifting so her cleavage pressed into my chin.

I nuzzled my nose into the cleft of her dark brown breasts, raising my hands to the sides of them whimpering, "Yes, B-Momma. Gawd yes. I've never been with a woman, only one girl but I loved it." Caressing her tits licking and kissing the tops of them, "I've never made love to a woman. I've never touched breasts other than my own."

She pushed on my shoulders smiling again, "How old were you and this girl?"

I laid back on the couch... I only had on a nighty, no panties and it was already pushed up over my pregnant belly for the rub down. It was never sexual, not until now. Now I was very aware of her seeing my pussy, and I liked showing myself to her. Spreading my legs... knowing she wouldn't look down on me at all I caressed my own tits over the thin material. Now giving her that smile she was giving me, that same smile her son gave me so many times before, I said, "We were 9, B-Momma. My mom caught us before we got into it. But that wasn't our first time. She only saw us naked, fingering, kissing, moaning. But I had licked her. She licked me. I loved it so much, B-Momma. I'd even licked her bottom. I was trying to be playful and silly but she told me how good it felt. So I really kissed her ass. I was a dirty little lesbian... at least until I knew how good cock felt!"

"Pat's cock, you mean?" B-Momma had stripped naked while I had started talking so dirty. She was a very sensual woman. So beautiful and dark. And not just her skin. Sexually she was dark. I felt she was leading me. Which felt different than when her son used me. I felt controlled and safe. She was shorter than me but I did feel small with her. She was 5'6, easily 190lb. 38C and surprisingly still firm. Only sagged just a little. But since I didn't have much to compare too they didn't seem to sag at all. They were perfect. Her soft belly, round at the front with just a small tuft of pubic hair above her pussy. Her round thighs, skin so tight. And her ass... big like mine, I know, but hers was sexy. And I knew I wanted to kiss her ass like I had kissed Tammy's nearly 10 years before.

Smiling at her, pulling my nighty off completely, "No, his cock hurt. But in a good way." "I know what you mean." Being a black woman who'd obviously been with various black men over the years, I knew that she did. "But now you want something more than cock, don't you my dear." She kneeled between my legs. Her nose right on my clit. Feeling her breath on my wet moist lips.

Whispering, "Yes, B-Momma. I do." I lifted my ass up off the couch, her hands slipped under cupping each plump check as her mouth pressed on my pussy. Her lips sucking as her tongue slipped inside me.

I gasped loudly, moaning, begging really, for her not to stop. She lifted her head, "Shh baby girl. You're gonna wake up Daryl."

Daryl was her younger son, 7 years old. He didn't understand why his brother left. Why his brother hated me. And he wouldn't understand THIS.

I started babbling, "I'm sorry Momma. I'll be quiet, Momma. I'll be good. I promise Mommy!" I didn't realize it but I dropped the B in front of B-Momma. I was falling in love and that was the first sign.

"Mmmm. 'Mommy'. Such a White-Girl thing to say."

"Do you like it?" I didn't even look at her. My head back and hips gyrating, even when her mouth was off me, as briefly as those moments were.

"Yes, baby girl. I do."

"Oh Mommy!" I felt her tongue slip back in my pussy but then I also felt her pinky slip into my asshole. "I wish you were my Mommy. Omg! I wish I were!"

She chuckled, "If I were baby girl. Do you really think we'd be doing this? Or that you'd be pregnant with Pat's baby?" She sped up the pace of her anal intrusion with her finger.

"I don't know. I know I'd want to do this with you still. I hope we would. Oh gawd, Mommy!"

"And Pat?"

This time I looked right at her, "I'd still have fucked him even if he was my brother!" I knew this is what she wanted to her. But I also knew that was the truth. She then slipped her pinky out and slipped her middle finger in my ass. I groaned.

Mommy raised up on me... fingering my ass and then slipping her thumb in my pussy. She leaned over me feeling her tits on my belly she suckled my breast. I felt for the first time milk flow from my teat. I whimpered, "Oh.. oh yes. You really are my Mommy now."

She kissed my lips lightly saying, "Yes. I am your mother. Your REAL Mother. You've never had one. That cow you gave birth to you never treated you as a daughter. But I will. And I am.. right now. Like this. As any REAL mother would. I am your Mommy. And from the milk I just drank... you're a REAL Mommy now too."

We kissed deeply. My hands all over her tits, her fingers deep in both of my holes. Tasting my milk and my pussy on her lips... on her tongue. I loved it. I loved her.

I thrust my hips as hard as I could against her hand. "That's it. Fuck Mommy, sweaty. Fuck your mothers hand good." Her mouth on mine, on my neck, on my milking tits.

Gasping, "OMG Mommy. I.. I'm so close."

"Cum in my mouth!" She shoved a throw pillow to my face. I grabbed it and held it tight as she got down on my pussy sucking and lapping at me. Driving me wild. Making me shake all over!

After ten minutes of the best climax of my life my new mother knelt beside me petting my hair smiling at me in the most loving way. "Pat's is such a fool to walk away from you."

"I love you Mommy." I said softly.

"I know dear."

Sitting up, "No... I love you. I'm in love with you."

"I love you too dear."

"Can I show you how much I love you, Mommy?"

"Please."

I pulled on her and settled her down so she was face down on the couch (right in the wet spot I had created), her feet still standing but bent a bit at the knees as I sat my fat pregnant ass down on the coffee table.

I didn't hesitate. I wanted this so bad! I pulled her beautiful sexy full round ass apart and licked her dark tight puckered hole!

Mommy gasped into the cushion of the couch as my tongue danced around her asshole. Lapping and pushing... loosening her up. Soon my tongue slipped in and I pushed it as far deep as I could go.

Mommy gasped and moaned, muttering how no one ever did anything like this to her. How dirty her daughter is. And how much she loved me. I reached under to play with her clit and finger her pussy but found her hand was already busy right there.

Letting her play with herself I reached further up and caressed her hanging belly and luscious tits. Teasing her nipples and finger fucking her belly button.

She pushed back against my face... allowing me to butt-fuck her with my tongue. I wanted to spank her the way Pat had spanked me. I assumed a woman with an ass like that would LOVE a good spanking. After all... I did. But I was worried about waking little Daryl. So I held back.

After another ten minutes I made my new mother cum. As she climaxed my mouth wandered back and forth from one hole to another over and over until she was threw. And she let me know when that was by bursting out "You're gonna get the belt if you don't stop fucking your mother right now!" Her voice was desperate but stern. I knew she wasn't mad but serious about me stopping. I simply pulled my mouth off her and said, "Yes Mommy. I'll be good."

We both giggled a bit at my response. She took my hand, "Come sleep in my bed tonight."

"Oh Mom! I don't know if I can take another round."

"Me either, Kira. But you want to sleep with me, don't you?"

I blushed and felt more love from her than anyone ever gave me, "Very much, Mommy."

We gathered our clothes, went to her room and laid in bed. We talk until two in the morning. Through it all we touched and kissed but not in a way that lead to more sex. Simply enjoyed each others body and the affection we were each getting.

I told her in detail about Tammy. About Tom. How my former family treated me for it. She told me in detail about her neighbor who lead her to female sexual love. How she learned discretion, which is different from hiding. And after time she came to learn 1/3 of the girls and woman she knew were just like her. Even a few in her own family.

"Oh, so THAT'S what you mean!"

Her hand caressing my ass, teasing my crack and asshole lazily, as I laid on my side sucking her breasts, "Meant by what?"

"Well I wondered who you might have had sex with in your family."

"You dirty girl. Why would you wonder that?" She said playfully.

"Well after confessing about my young masturbation, lesbian affair, and incest you said I hadn't done anything you hadn't. So which woman in your family was it with, Mommy?"

"Well, none. That's not who I had an affair with in my family. Mine, like yours, was with a man. Well... boy, really."

"So it was when you were young like I was?"

Mom got serious and took a deep breath. "No dear. And I've never told anyone this. No one knows. Do you understand."

"Yes Mommy, but you don't have to tell me."

"No, I think I should. It was 8 years ago... a little more than 8 years ago." She glanced at her bedroom door. I understood right away.

"Who is Daryl's real father?"

"Honey, Daryl isn't going to be your baby's Uncle. He'll be your baby's Brother."

Gawd. Pat was Daryl's father. Pat and Bea. I couldn't believe it, or didn't want to. I didn't know what to say or do so I simply said I'd never tell Daryl. She thanked me. I was curious to know more but couldn't bring myself to ask. I just let Mommy continue talking and touching me. Love is understanding and acceptance. And I loved her very much.

She did go on to tell me she feels how Pat treated me is her fault. That they both knew he was the real father. But she let Pat off the hook by having a lot of sex with some other man. A married man who was very well off and couldn't afford to let this love child be known. So monthly payments have been made to keep quiet about the whole thing. Daryl in turn was told his daddy died in a car crash. So sad but the truth is simply too confusing.

Since she let Pat off the first time he simply felt entitled to walk away from our baby. And nothing she could say or do would change his mind. In the end she helped provide the information I needed to get the state to garnish his wages for me to help support our child. Our son, as it would turn out to be.

I was very much in love with Bea. With Mommy. And she loved me but the simple reality of her rule of discretion prevented us from being public. From simply being a loving family and couple. I wanted it but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

As the years went on Mommy grew to know her Daughter well and encouraged me to find love in any way I wished. That with it be a man or woman I had her blessing. I asked about the rule of discretion and she said that only pertained to me and her. But if there was another woman other than her it would be fine. She did say that to find what I want in a relationship I should avoid black woman. That unless I move to someplace like Seattle or San Francisco I wouldn't find it here in Idaho. I didn't want to move from the only family I have. So I took her advice. But I also joking said, "You just want the pride of being the only black woman to have ever had me."

She said, "I have more reasons than that to be proud of you." She then kissed me deeply. I teared up saying how I'll miss this.

"I didn't say this is over." Mommy grabbed at my skirt pulling it up, reaching under and slipping two fingers into my pussy as my panties were pushed to the side. "This is never over, baby girl. You're MY Daughter and always will be in every way I want for as long as you want it."

"I do want it Mommy. I thought you were breaking up with me." Stripping my clothes off I got down on all fours and presented my ass up high. By now my ass was a bit wider and jutted out a bit more than it had before. Also I grew to understand my place with Mommy. That a daughter should be mindful and always use manors. That manors is how we show our love, in part, but more importantly shows respect. And I respected my Mother greatly.

"Daryl will be home soon. We can't right now. But as long as Toby is taking a nap, let Mommy watch you cum. Make yourself cum for me."

Toby is my son. Named for my Grandfather, Bea's Father.

"Yes Mommy. Thank you so much. I wish I could make you cum too but I understand." I reached under and slid two fingers in my pussy placing my palm flat on my clit. Rubbing and fucking myself. My ass checks cascading up and down as I gyrated in the air. Licking the carpet desperate for flesh in my mouth.

I heard Mom moaning and looked back to see her on the couch, slacks down to her knees rubbing her pussy as she watched me. Even if I wasn't touching her I was still pleasing her.

She came before I did which set me off. Us both screaming "YES YES YES" over again.

By the time we both came down from our climaxes three year old Toby was standing there asking what we were doing. Mom raised her hand to signal to me she would handle this. She called my son to her and he came. She pulled him to her lap, she hadn't put her clothes back on and her black bare pussy openly visible. "Toby, honey. Grandma and Mom were just tickling ourselves." I turned and sat on the floor not bothering to cover up. Nudity with Toby was somewhat common but what we were doing was nothing he'd seen before.

Toby replied back, "My penis tickles some times."

"Yes dear, I know. You tickle it, don't you?"

He sweetly smiled and said yes. Mom replied with, "Yes, I know. You tickled it the last time I played with you in the bath." He giggled and said yes. Is this how things happened with Pat years ago? Has this been going on with Daryl under my nose? Has she been "Tickling" Toby?

Toby looked at me sweetly and asked, "Can I tickle you too?" Before I could respond Mom saved me.

"Oh sweetie. You shouldn't ask to tickle someone. You always wait to be asked. And your Mother is all tickled out. Aren't you dear?" I sighed a breath of relief, smiled, and nodded yes. "But you can tickle Grandma if you like."

I was stunned. I watched in shock as she slipped her slack all the way off and panties too then told Toby to get read for a bath. "Aren't I gonna tickle you, Grandma?"

"Yes Toby, then you'll take a bath." As Toby got undressed I watched her pick up her cell phone and send a text. A minute later as Toby was fully naked Mom settled down saying, "Daryl won't be home now for another hour." She pulled off her shirt and bra positioning Toby between her spread thighs.

Holding his bottom she pulled him so his penis was pressing into her wet pussy lips. She told him to keep pressing. That it really tickles. She smiled at him the entire time while gyrating herself against him. I was watching my Mother have sex with my son. Then I saw something that really shocked me. She pulled his bottom a apart and pressed her pinky into his anus. Toby grunted and Mom asked, "Does that feel good Toby?" He nodded yes and she kept fingering him.

Mom then pulled him so he was laying on top of her guiding his hips, soon he was moving on his own as she slid half of her pinky in and out of him. Having sex with him as much as he was having sex with her. His hands instinctively went to her dark brown breasts. "Kiss them Toby. It tickles when you kiss them. Can you tickle Grammy with your mouth?"

He didn't respond by words but he did kiss her tits all over. Their movements were slow and rhythmical. She never moaned. Never raised her voice in sexual glory. She just kept her voice soft and sweet telling him how much he's tickling her and how she likes it.

Mom curled her finger of her free hand for me to come. I obeyed sitting next to her. She took her free hand and started rubbing my pussy. I wasn't enjoying what I was watching. I was to confused by the whole thing but at the same time I'd been my own mothers lover for over three years. Always obeying because I loved her... be cause I loved being led. But when her hand touched me I did respond. I moaned... I gyrated may big ass on the soft couch cushion. She smiled at me saying, "This could be you." My hips moved faster. "You could be the same kind of mother I was to my son." "Mom.. I can't. I.. I don't want. I mean. I.. I shouldn't."

She lifted her hand from my pussy and pinched my nipple. Teasing it roughly but still evoking such pleasure. "Ask Toby to tickle you."

"Toby, baby. Please, tickle Mommy." I couldn't stop myself from saying those words. And after all, I am using my manors. Showing respect. Isn't Toby showing me the same respect? I don't know.

My sweet, now not so innocent, son moved from Grammy to between my thighs. I pulled him by his sweet soft bottom to my very wet pussy. His little penis now hard didn't seem so little to me now. He leaned right into me with out my needing to guide him. I moaned loudly which startled him. Mom said "Its ok, you're ticking her much more than you tickled me. Its good noises." He said ok and leaned back in.

My hands on his back, I couldn't or maybe didn't think to slip my finger into him. I rolled my eyes back as I felt myself enjoy having sex. He was really inside me, if only an inch. His mouth on my breasts and lifted it up and said "Here baby. On the nipple, please." He sucked and even bit a bit on accident but I enjoyed it.

Mom got up behind us, lowering herself to her knees. Caressing Toby's ass she asked if she could tickle him too. He murmured "Uh-huh" through my tit in his mouth. Mom then slipped her tongue in his ass. He squealed but did not stop. In fact he moved faster inside me.

I gasped "Don't stop Mom! Please omg, what you're doing is making Toby do WONDERFUL things inside of me!"

Mom hardly ever kissed my ass. So this was a surprise but one I relished. I came so hard so wonderfully. Loving that is was my Son causing this reaction from me.

When I came down I saw Mom standing over Toby. She had her middle finger all the way inside him. He was moving his ass back and forth cooing and enjoying his Grandmother fucking his ass. He was no longer inside me but still on top of me. I pet his hair and kissed his forehead.

Mom saying the most amazing things. Asking him how much he liked it. Asking if she should stop. Asking if he'd like it deeper or bigger. She was in control ecstasy. Rubbing her pussy as she fucked him in the ass.

Toby squealed, begging not to stop. How much he loved Grammy tickling him. Squealing "Yes" to the questions of deeper and bigger. She promised him that if he lets her use her special lotion next time she'll make it bigger and deeper. I knew what she meant. She meant Lube and Toys!

Part 2 Coming soon