Searching for Moonbeams, Part 1

by Lesluv

Chapter 1

Hullo, my name is Therese, and I'm twelve years old.

Last Christmas I watched my father punch my mother so hard that she fell back and hit her head on the mantelpiece. The injury was so bad she died at once, according to the coroner. My sister Kelly and I were taken to live with Aunty Mary, my mother's sister, way out in the west country. Our brothers, Sean and Paddy, went to  Bridie's, our father's sister and her family. Dad went to jail for manslaughter.

It's not too bad, living out here, although it's cold and wet. Aunty Mary is kind, too kind, really, because she nearly died when she was having her first baby, and she says God has finally given her the children she couldn't have. Her baby was dead when it was born.  Uncle Theo, her husband, is away a lot of the time, working in the navy, and he's nice as well, and has brought us home things from far away.

Kelly is nine, with red plaited hair, blue eyes, freckles and a turned up nose. She gets teased because she thinks she's not pretty, but she is. She's actually beautiful. I'm dark, with wiry black hair, brown eyes, thin face and pimples. And I am NOT pretty. I know I take after my mother, but it doesn't bother me. I don't care because I miss her so much. She was gentle, kind and fun, although she could be very strict about cleanliness, tidiness, and good manners, and she loved us so much.

Dad used to get drunk every Saturday night, and if his team had lost he'd be very upset and take it out on mum, sometimes on me and the boys too, and we hated that although I do not know why we had to stay with him. He never felt me up or anything, but he's slap me and scream at me, and I wished we could run away. He never hurt Kelly, but I caught him wanking off one night as he watched her sleeping.

We go to the village school here, as usual run by nuns, and soon after we came a new teacher was appointed. (That's funny, it wasn't because of us she was appointed, it was because the old teacher retired.) She knew how to make us behave, kept very strict discipline, and hardly ever smiled. I love English and cooking, and I am good at those things. Kelly does sums in her head. We learn what we have to, say the prayers and rosaries, go to mass, and cry. Not openly, but after, walking the three miles to our house. We stop, sit on a rock and hold each other. Squeeze ourselves tight to forget where we are. To show how much we depend on each other. And how much we love each other, too.

Aunty Mary's house isn't home, but she tries to make it feel like it. She's a lot older than mum had been, and doesn't know much about growing up, but she tries. And we cry. For mum, home, our friends, the city, and for our brothers. I guess we will not see them again, and even though they are a nuisance sometimes, they are good fun and always watched out for us.

Nearly a year after we got here a new girl appeared at the school. Her name was Siobhan, and she was so bright and happy she made the sun shine. She even beguiled the nun. She was in my section, so both of us were twelve, and for some reason she took to sitting with us at lunchtime.

"I was born in America," she told us when we asked. "In Brooklyn. Went to school there. Boy, it is sure different here." She had tight brown curls, a round, impish face, well developed breasts, and grey eyes that generally sparkled. Her ears stuck out, she had a squint, and no one would say she'd win a beauty pageant, but she had all the personality needed. And the nicest clothes of anyone here.

"How come you finished up in this godforsaken place?" I asked.

"You might as well know, there'll be gossip anyway. My dad is in gaol in the States. He'd been helping one of the mobs or something. So mum and I had to leave, and her mum is here, so this is where we came. Is it always this cold?"

We grinned. "Welcome to Ireland. The land of eternal mist, little green men, dragons, wishing on rainbows and four leafed clovers, the land of myth and maudlin." This last was something one of our poets had written.

"Say, that's pretty neat. What about you?"

So we told her.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "You poor things. Here I am, thinking no one had it as bad as me, and the first real people I meet are in deeper shit than me. Listen, are you able to come to my place? My mother needs to hear your story. She's maudlin, all right, morning noon and night. How could God do this to her? She's had it so easy, let me tell you. This is where she was born, for Christ's sake, so I can understand how- " she broke off when she saw the expression on our faces. "What?"

"You, you took the lord's name in vain," gabbled Kelly, ashen faced. "That's a terrible sin."

"I  did? Oh, cheese, yeah. Forgot I was in darkest Ireland. It's how everyone talks back home. Sorrry."

I didn't think she was, but somehow I didn't care. I never really thought about religion or god or anything like that. It was all just a part of life, but she seemed so -- well, natural, open,  carefree. "You're refreshing," I told her, and put my hand on hers. "When can we come to your place?" Touching her had sent a tingle up my spine.

She looked at my hand, looked at me, looked at Kelly, grinned and said, "I like you. Us girls got to stick together. Tomorrow, after school?"

We didn't have any reason to cry on the way home.

When we got home I went to see my aunt, busy in the kitchen with vegetables. We ate a lot of them. "Aunty Mary, can I ask you something?"

She looked at me and smiled. "How was your day, my pet?"

"Uh, Ok thanks. Aunty Mary, I think I've got my period." The feeling had been growing since morning, and I knew, sort of, what was happening. Mum had told me that it would, and that she'd be there to help and explain when it actually happened.

She hesitated. "Um, well, that'd be normal for a girl your age. I haven't had mine for ages now, but, oh well, would you be knowing what to do now? I'll get you some cloths." A moment later she came back with a piece of tape to tie around my middle, pieces of torn up sheet and some safety pins. "Here you are. Better have a lie down. First time can be a trial."

And that was that. Mum had used tampons. I was too frustrated to cry this time. In the end  Kelly helped me, full of questions but full of comfort. As much as she could. Those cloths supplied all the discomfort I could stand.

After tea I told Aunty Mary about the invitation to go to the new girls house after school. She had met Siobhan's mum at church, and had approved of her holiness, her clothes and her generosity, so I did not expect problems, and apart from the need to be home by six none were made.

"You both need some nice girl friends," she said. Outside of the church socials, of course. "Make sure you are polite, you know."

We weren't just polite, we were overawed when we saw the house. It was two stories, red brick, beautiful garden , well-kept and the opposite to ours. Siobhan said, "Don't be silly, this is just home. Grandpa owned the dairy and processing plant, so he built it. Houses don't matter it's the people in them."

She must have been told that, because I know houses do matter. When we went inside I could see her mum looked worried. She was about the age my mum would have been, thirty one,  and I could see how Siobhan took after her, but there was a frown, no a scowl, on her face all the time, although she was friendly. She made us sit down and have a 'snack', which I took to be American for a biscuit, but no, it was a full blown afternoon tea, complete with tea, coke, orange juice, and more cakes than we saw in a month.

"You girls tuck in now. Can't have you going home hungry, can we. I'll be a minute now." She smiled and went out.

The first time that's ever been said to us, let me assure you.

Kelly looked at me, and I could almost see the drool running down her chin. I felt the same way.

"Come on, this is in your honour." Siobhan poured each of us some coke, picked up a cream cake, and began stuffing it in her mouth. We did the same, and having found the mythical pot of gold there was no stopping.

Until Siobhan's mum came back with a funny looking girl. Funny, because she had a flat round face and strange eyes. I knew what it was, because a boy in our old street had the same condition. Down's syndrome. A genetic thing.

"This is Kate. Kate, say hello to our visitors."

She just nodded her head and muttered something, so Siobhan said, "Come on, Kate, sit by me. See what we have for eats? You like cake and coke, don't you. Come on, it's your turn."

A big grin appeared on Kate's face. "Oh, yessss. Like cakes." She picked up a lamington and began to nibble.

We watched, fascinated and discomforted. I looked at Siobhan and raised my eyebrows.

She smiled, a genuine warm smile, and said, "Kate is my little sister. She's ten. She has Down's syndrome, she'll never be any different, and we love her. Don't we, little sis?"

Kate nodded and put her hand on her sister's. "Yesth. Llove you." She pointed at us and garbled something.

"Yes, they're our friends. From school. This is Therese and Kelly. Say hello."

Again the mumble, but with a smile, so I said, "So nice to meet you, Kate."

"You go and amuse yourselves while I get things going. Show the girls the playroom." Siobhan's mum.

Playroom? Our playroom in Dublin had been the street, but this -- well, it was a fun palace. Everything I had seen in magazines, on TV, or imagined was there. The thing that attracted me first was the piano. I had been learning before we came here, so I asked if I could play it. Told I could, I went to it and began to practice scales. Kelly had never liked me doing this, so she went to Kate and said something softly, getting a grin and a big nod. They left, but I was not watching.

After a moment Siobhan came over and said, "Do you have any friends?" there was a wistful note in her voice.

"No, not any really, not here anyway. I have two brothers, but they're with another aunt, I'll never see them again, but no, no one. Do you?"

"Not here, no. Back home I had lots, but now?" She shook her head and I saw tears form in her eyes before she looked at me and said, "Could we be friends? I mean real friends, not just someone to say hello to?"

"I'd like that," I said slowly, as I considered the offer. "We're the same age, we'd have lots to talk about. We don't have any money, though, not much anyway. And my dad's a murderer."

"So's mine. We have money, but none can help Kate. She can be so difficult, too, that's why mum is way down. Thank you, Therese, you're very kind."

Impulsively I reached out and took her hand. "Shake?"

She did, then added, "Cuddle?"

I loved cuddles. Only my mum and Kelly had been in them, but I just wanted more. They are so comforting. I stood and put my arms around her, and she did the same to me. I squeezed, she did, and I stroked her hair. All very innocent, all very girlish, until she pulled her head back and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh my god", she whispered. "Therese, this is wrong, awful wrong, but you are so wonderful I want to kiss you. It's more than friends, though. I felt like this once before, in the States, but never had the opportunity. But you, well, you won't want to, and I would hate to stuff up a friendship before it's begun, so if you think that's repulsive or something, please say so. Please? It's kind of sexy, though."

What a bombshell. I sat back on the piano stool without thinking about it and looked up at her. My mouth was open, I know, but I couldn't find any words. I had never thought about anything like this, not even about kissing boys, which kind of made me feel sick anyway, but a girl? I didn't even kiss Kelly. I looked around the room for something to take my mind off that question. There were all the things money could buy, then I thought of Kate. Poor, poor Kate. Then the image of Siobhan looking at me, pleading, needing, needing someone close, to be close to.

So I looked at her, properly, looked at her lips, pink and full, looked at her pleading, frightened eyes. It was wrong, every sermon seemed to be against women and girls, and without bidding a naughty word came into my mind. "Fuck," I whispered, and stood up and put my arms around her again.

"I'll be your friend, Siobhan, all the friend you want. I need a friend too. A girl friend."

Our lips met and we began to kiss.

I had never really kissed anyone before, although I had seen it done on TV and in the flicks, but this caught me by total surprise. It was nice. It was warm, close, intimate, real and wonderful. I kissed harder, then felt her tongue trying to get into my mouth.

"Ulp! Wha-"

"Open you lips," she whispered urgently. "it's real good."

If she said so. I did, and I felt a wave of heat go through my body. Good? It was better than that. I pulled her tighter to me as my own tongue, with a will of its own, pressed its way into her mouth.

We both sighed.

"What are you doing?" Kelly and Kate had come back into the room and my sister's scream was far from quiet.

It was the end of the kissing. It was nearly the end of everything.

"Shh..." I held up my finger for silence. "We're friends. That's the secret seal. You know what we did when we sealed our friendship."

Her eyes opened wide. "But that was you and me. We're sisters, we're-"

But she was cut off by Kate, who was as tall as she was, and a good deal heavier. She grabbed goody-two-shoes Kelly and gave her a slurpee on the mouth. "See, we're friends too, Kelly belly." And she giggled.

There was silence. Astounded, eye-popping quiet.

Kelly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, looking disgusted.

"Come on, let's go play!" Kate grabbed Kelly's hand and dragged her out of the room, not before my sister sent me a look that screamed 'Help!'

I grinned and held my fingers to my lips, then made a kissing sound. Sisters need teasing.

Siobhan was looking astounded.

"She is surely something different, isn't she, your sister? I mean-"

"-But she spoke so clearly. I've never heard her speak so clearly. She's never said anything like 'let's go play' so, oh my goodness, I think Kelly is going to be the medicine we needed. What do you think of that."

"Well, she can be a pill at times, but will she? I mean, will she cope with Kate?"

"Sure why not?" Seeing the look on my face she added quickly,  "that's if you don't mind being here too? See, I need some therapy too, you know? You might not be able to stand that, either." She said it seriously, teasing me.

I looked at her, suddenly realising that this was not a game. I was not going to go back to Aunty Mary's and forget it. If I said yes my life would change. Again. But this time it would be my choice, something I had never really had to make before. And my decision would be made for Kelly, too, in a way. If I said yes she would be saddled with Kate.

I continued to look at Siobhan, and then  it dawned on me that Kelly could make her own decision. She was old enough to do that. So did I really want to be friends with this girl who I had just kissed? Did I want to be invited to this fairy-tale house and have rich food, play the piano and escape the cold of Aunty Mary's?

You bet I did. Even if it meant snuggling up to a girlfriend.

I smiled at her, then began to laugh. "I think I can stand that," I said between guffaws. "I think I can stand lots of that." My arms went round her shoulders so I could draw her close. "And I sure can stand kissing you. "I'm still kind of tingling."

Chapter 2

"God does not many miracles, Our Lord does not pour his blessing at random." The priest was solemn and ecstatic at the same time. The Sunday service was packed; the news of a twenty-first century miracle had spread faster than wildfire, and though the scoffing was loud, those who had need of such news were convinced. Unproven, untried, the rumour sparkled. Village life was drab at best, and any excitement was better than none. And if were really true? Then surely the saints would be praised again here in the West of the emerald isle. And they would taste fame.

It had taken a considerable effort by Siobhan's mum to convince the priest that putting her daughter on display would not be for the best. She was also sure that her daughter's speech clarity was temporary at best. No miracle, just a quirk of development - but she was belittled for her lack of faith, coaxed and cajoled by the priest who, at seventy, wanted one last chance of fame. No, not fame, he said, just the chance to show god's amazing grace.

But neither girls nor mother had attended the service. Siobhan was relieved. The truth might have been sniffed out, and that would be the end of everything. Kate might have had a sudden burst of clarity, but she would never know the meaning of caution. Although, in its way, it was a miracle, but not one the priest would approve of.

Siobhan and I and had been sitting side by side, arms around each other, whispering nothings, stroking each other's cheeks, hair, and shoulders, when Kelly and Kate had come back into the room. Quietly, this time. No screaming, just a slow, hand-holding approach.

We looked up, and Kate said, as clear as a bell, "Kelly and I love each other. Don't we, Kelly?"

Even I  was struck dumb. This was not the spittle-bedaubed incoherent genetically modified girl of thirty minutes ago. Even her smile was properly formed.

Kelly nodded, but said nothing.

Siobhan recovered enough to ask,  "How do you know, little one? I mean -- and how -- I mean you're speaking better. What's happened to you?" She sounded puzzled.

Kate began to stutter, but Kelly put her hand on her arm and smiled at her. The stuttering stopped, and Kelly looked at us, bright-eyed, smiling, and blushing. "Well," she said, "I was sad because Kate couldn't speak properly, couldn't be like me, and I put my arm around her to give her a cuddle. She liked that, because she was snuggling up to me, then she said something that was so strange. It wasn't very clear, but it went something g like she saw her mum's boyfriend licking her between the legs and her mum liked it so much she wanted him to keep doing it. Then she moaned and shook and said it was the most wonderful thing she'd ever had. And -- well, she asked me to do it to her. So I did."

I heard Siobhan mutter, "Oh my god," but me, being a big sister and not upset by anything, (not true, but that's big sisters), said, "So? Was it good?"

They both said, "Yes" together, and giggled.

"Got all hot and shaky," Kate said almost clearly, "and my brain went bang and I yelled loud."

"So I held her tight until she stopped, and she said she loved me. So I did too. And she tastes so nice, you know, sweet and beautiful."

"We came to tell you," said Kate, "I'm so happy."

Siobhan's mouth was hanging open. "Has to be a miracle, for sure. Oh, Kate, you are so wonderful. And you, too Kelly. A miracle."

"Let's tell mum," Kate was so eager.

You do not grow up on the streets of Dublin without getting to know most of the intimate things people do with and to each other. I knew the purpose of my twat, knew boys wanted to poke their peenie into it but that's how babies came, but hadn't known that you could lick another girl's twat, not that it would have been hard to do. It was just not done. And it had to be wrong. Everything a girl did was wrong, and licking twats would be on the list for sure.

"No, Kate," I said softly, "That won't do. Kelly, you know that we don't talk about down there, Aunty Mary would throw us out if she thought we even touched ourselves, it's a real big sin. So, Kate, you have to say something, but not what really happened. Maybe you fell over and hit your head?"

Siobhan looked at me, eyes wide. "Oh, yes, that's right." The penny had dropped. "Go and tell mum you were praying," she said to her sister,  "and it happened. She'll love that, and you can't get into trouble, and she has to believe you."

Kelly nodded her head. "Go on, do it now, Kate, then we can do it again." Praying was something one did, like times tables, and about as much use. Normally.

"Whee," the girl with the miracle screeched, and ran from the room.

How were we to know the outcome?

Of course Kate's mum was sceptical, but had to accept the deity and the reality. But a miracle? I might have had a Dublin upbringing, but she'd lived in Brooklyn, the cradle of disbelief. She came in and sat down, putting Kate on her knee.

"This is something, isn't it? Listen, Siobhan my dear, I do not believe in miracles. I do not even believe in prayers being answered. Something else has happened, something real and wonderful, so can you give me a clue? When did you notice it first?"

My girlfriend looked troubled, and began to blush, but I was able to remember, so I said, "She said, 'let's go play,' talking to Kelly, and it was very clear. Then, when they came back, she said lots more, not always so well, but, well, you heard her. Like that."

"We wondered about it, that first time, but afterwards, well, mama, we had to tell her to go to you. It has to be a miracle, doesn't it?" Siobhan gave me a relieved glance.

Her mother shook her head. "Whatever it is, we'll give thanks. Please tell me any other things you notice, there may be more changes. Science doesn't know everything. And we'd better keep this to ourselves. The village has no god except gossip."

But, of course, Kate didn't understand, and the first person she saw the afterwards heard the news.

Chapter 3

The hardest thing I'd ever had to do was put up with dad and his tirades. Compared to that, this was impossible. 'This', of course, was leaving Siobhan. It seemed I had only been at her house five minutes when Kelly came in to the play room, smiling dreamily, hand in hand with Kate, to tell me it was nearly six and time to go. Siobhan and I looked at each other in disbelief.

"Do you have to? I mean, you could stay the night-" she was interrupted by another scream of delight from her sister, "-mama could telephone and say you were needed here, and we..."

I was shaking my head. "No phone, wouldn't you know. Can we try to come tomorrow?"

She put her arms around me and kissed me hard. "Going to miss you."

I nodded in agreement. "Me too." We were still looking into each other eyes when Kelly pulled me away.

"Come on!"

"How was it?" I asked casually as we did the trudge home.

"You know, all right." She looked at me and grinned. "Wasn't going to tell you, but Kate licked me, and it is so nice.  Biggest thing ever. You get all hot and out of breath, and all you do is lie there, then it's like a shock or something and you moan. I'm still wet."

*

Of course the news was in Aunty Mary's possession by breakfast time. Her  'Why didn't you tell me' was lost in the flurry pats on the head and her cherished hypocritical praises, which I was just beginning to recognise. But Kate, god bless her artlessness, had produced the answer to our problem. As we were doing the dishes After breakfast there was a knock at the door, answered by aunty wearing her troubled frown.  After a moment, excited voices came toward us.

Siobhan's mother, and aunty, with the latter commanding us to dry our hands and sit.

Once done, aunty said, "Fiona here has something to tell you, and ask you. I am so proud of you, Kelly, your mum would be thrilled." She looked at our visitor. Just Kelly? Mum was proud of me, always.

"Well, you know how Kate suddenly began to speak clearly, because you were there when it happened. By last night, however, she was hardly able to be as good as she had been before then, and we were rather sad, but not worried. I thought something like that might happen, but Siobhan was quite distressed, so we sat with Kate most of the night. Then, about six this morning, when we were dozing, Kate said almost clearly, 'I want Kelly. She's special.' Now that's exciting, and I could hardly restrain myself from coming to get you all out of bed. Because, you see Kate has never had a friend. No one from outside, like you, that is. Certainly no one her age, and you were so kind, Kelly, she can sense that, so I have come to ask your aunt, and yourselves, if you could spend today at least with her. The opening up of her mind is so precious to us, and her as well. For a start last night she just looked at us without a word, but there was also a smile of content on her face that has never been there before. That's something we want to see again. And you, of course, Therese, as you brought Siobhan out of herself. Her life has been far from easy, having to leave Brooklyn nearly brought her undone, but now, well, she says you are good friends." She turned to Aunty Mary and said, "Would that be all right, my dear?"

Aunt beamed. I had no idea what she really thought about having to look after us, but I did know her life had been disrupted, her quiet peace shattered by two girls, good and all as we were. If it were me, I'd have been glad to get rid of us for a day or two, but aunty was made of sterner stuff.

"Of course it would, you know. Though, truth to tell, I would not mind coming to see this wonderful change for myself. Now would that be all right?"

Horreur. I doubted that my new friendship would stand a snooping aunt. We'd be undone, as my drama teacher would have said.

What else but an angel could have navigated those narrows, but one did as Fiona, Siobhan's mum, smiled and said, "Well, Mary, another day if you don't mind. I was hoping you would do something for me. I mean, of course, help me do a particular thing?"

"Of course of course I'd be helping you. What would  it be with, Fiona?"

"Why you have been here so long, I am a newcomer, and I need to talk sense into our priest. Kate is not being put on display, nor should she be. I have seen the outcome of publicity and children, and it is one of life's most backward steps. So will you come, my dear, and back me up? You would know how to broach this topic, and to be truthful, I do not hold with all this talk of miracles. God is surely mysterious, but then so is the human brain. Kate has a genetic misfunction. That's all."

How could our aunt refuse? Here she had a new friend, an influential one, a moneyed one, and any rise in status was as precious as fame could get.  "Happy to help you, my dear, happy."

"So, I would be obliged to take these two wonderful girls back home, then come back here so we can get to Father O'Meara before he gets into other things, whatever they are. Say around eleven?"

I had often thought about my mother, tried to keep her face in my memory, hear her voice, feel her comfort, and I still missed her, dreadfully and acutely, but I had not once thought of ever seeing her again. Not in life, because she was with the angels in heaven. But if I had, it would have been a pale thing compared to seeing Siobhan that morning. How does one describe the heart? The feelings and sublime joy it brings when the shadow of a moonbeam is revealed in all its reality? Had I been asked I would have said that love takes a long time, and I would have been wrong. Love takes no more than a heartbeat. A heartbeat that had already happened to me, one that gave meaning to life in all its wonder.

Seeing her was more miracle than God ever imagined.

We fell into each other's arms, careless of mothers, aunts, sisters, or spycams. Fortunately, none of these were present; Fiona had gone to shower, Kelly had disappeared up the stairs, and I did not think spycams had yet made it out here. We kissed, we sighed, we damn near died, and needed no words. Well, not at first. But then, after ten minutes or so, the words came.

Not any I had expected, but Siobhan had magic in mind.

"You know what Kelly and Kate got up to, don't you?" Softly said, stroking my face.

"You mean licking? She said it was something special on the way home, but I didn't really listen. I was -- um -- thinking of you."

"Kate told me it was more than special. She wanted me to do it to her, but you know, sisters? I thought I should be waiting for you, if you know what I mean."

"Waiting? For me?"

She nodded. "No one else. We could do it. Couldn't we?"

The thought of my girlfriend with her head between my legs almost made me giggle, but then I felt a twinge where her head might be and said, "Oh. I see. Hmm. Does sound nice."

"Let's do it. C'mon. Soon as mum's gone. I bet Kate and Kelly are at it right now. Kate gets away with everything."

I didn't even know what I really looked like down there, between my legs. It was a forbidden zone. I didn't know what any girl looked like. And licking? That was for ice cream. And yet, it seemed to fit. Fit in with my new feelings for my new girlfriend. Maybe this is what girlfriends really do. Real girlfriends, anyway.

I started to nod my head and smile, then it hit me. "Oh no. no, no I can't. I have my period. My very first. Why, oh why did it had to happen now?"

"Oh, you poor thing. I had mine two weeks ago. Only lasted two days, though, awful pains."

Sometimes good ideas pop into my head unannounced. "I could lick you, then, couldn't I?" A light bulb went on. "I could suck you.  I mean-"  

"Yes! Suck me! I love you." She threw her arms around me and kissed me. Hard. The best way.

But we still had to wait. Time drags when you're hot to trot, but it does pass and we were able to retire to Siobhan's bedroom by a quarter to eleven. Smooching we might have got away with, but a head and thigh combo would have been stretching it.

I was suddenly nervous. I knew nothing about what I was supposed to do, or even how I was to do it. Siobhan didn't either, and as we stood looking at each other, with the door closed and the anticipation of doing illicit things suffusing our minds, she began to giggle.

"Want me to get undressed?" She asked. I could only shrug my shoulders. "Want me to ask Kelly what they do?"

I began to laugh. "No way! Those two have enough power over us already. Let's get undressed." I was suddenly anxious to see her body. Sure, I had looked critically at mine a few times in the mirror, waiting to observe the promised breasts, the pubic down, and the body-shape changes, but here was someone whose boobs were already there, so maybe the other things as well. And I loved her.  

So we did.

I'd seen my mother's breasts from time to time, which meant nothing  except a reminder of what would happen to me, but the sight of my girlfriend's beautiful, round soft mounds with tiny pink nipples caused me to break out in a sweat. They were sexy, a new word in my mind, one that fitted there so well. I'd removed my jacket, top  and singlet, and without meaning to I reached out and touched first one, then then other.

"Oh, Siobhan, they are so beautiful."

"Mum says it's just puppy fat."

"I love puppies." I bent to lick them. The flesh was soft and smooth, and I licked them all over. That wasn't enough, so I began to suck on one of those nipples. It was sweet and salty.

"Ah! Yes, do it, Therese, keep doing it. I love it. Ah!"

I did, and after a moment I saw she was struggling out of her jeans, so I stopped sucking and watched. Sure, I've looked at myself getting undressed -- who hasn't -- but looking at my friend do it was far more exciting. As her knickers dropped to the floor I pushed her back onto the bed.

"Would you be opening your legs, now, so's I can see you? See where you're going to  get a lickin'?"

She giggled, but said, "Not before you yourself have dropped those trousers and the knickers beneath, for it would not be right, now, that I'm in the nuddy and you are not. And I want to look at your body."

I giggled and did as I had been bid, forgetting the cord, pins and rags around my waist and between my legs.

"Holy mother of God, what have you got there?"

I knew I had turned redder than the beet. "Oh, Siobhan, I forgot I have my period. These are the things Aunty Mary gave me to use."

"These backward Irish! The 21st century is still one too many for them, but no matter, take them off, for the love of god, just don't be dropping blood on my mat. I'll get you one of my tampons."

She rolled over and began to rummage in a bedside drawer, giving me an ogle at her backside. Firm, round, pink, and arousing. 'My god,' I thought, 'I'm getting to be a sex fiend.' I licked my lips.

"Here you are, put that in."

I had never ever put something up my twat, and was suddenly nervous about doing so with this rather large white thing I held in my hand.

Siobhan looked at me with a smile and said, "Here, let me. It can be my first bit of sex with you. Next time 'twill be a finger."

My heart took off like a racing car.

I soon forgot about the odd sensation of having something  inside me, because Siobhan lay back on the bed and opened her legs.

I knelt on the floor and peered at the sight before me. The shape, the colour, the whole picture of her twat was filling my mind. I wasn't thinking of why it was so entrancing, just that it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. Not that I'd ever thought anything sexy before, but I was using the eyes God gave me to build up the lust he'd built into me. And using my  nose he gave me too, for the perfume that wafted towards me was not any old body odour, it was music to the greatest show on earth.

I reached out and gently stroked those lovely pink lips. Soft and moist. Another finger helped part them, revealing inner secrets, causing us both to gasp.

A murmured. "Yes," was enough for her legs to open further, as if by instinct, and for my tongue to get into position. This was a sweetie I was going to lick, suck and taste, my very first adult lolly. Gently, softly, my tongue protruded and ran up and down between those gorgeous labia. Her juice, which was forming droplets between the folds, and my saliva ran back into my mouth, the heady taste of the best drink ever made.

"More. More, please. Ah -- ah, ah." Her breathing was getting quicker, and that was enough to make mine follow suit. There seemed to be a little spot near the top of her lips that caused her to twitch every time my tongue went over it, and I tried to concentrate on this, but I could not lick any faster. Tongues, I realised, need practice, but mouths are for more than chewing or talking.

We learn to suck as babies, and never forget. Twelve years of practice was put to good use right then as that spot became the nipple, the straw, the conduit of pleasure for both of us. Her body began twisting from side to side, arching up and down, and the sounds from her throat became strange, unintelligible, incoherent as my mouth kept its limpet grip on her cunnie. I was swallowing fast to keep from having to let go, and after a little she gave a shudder from head to foot, let out a long sigh of ecstasy, and lay still. Except for the odd spasm and moan, which continued on for a few more minutes.

I slowly removed my lips from hers and smiled as I watched. She was twelve years old, I was twelve years old, and my heart was bursting with the love of her.  I rested my head on her legs, and after a few moments felt her hand gently stroking my back.

"Love you," she whispered. "I had no idea love was so wonderful. Whatever you did it opened something in me, in my mind. Heaven's door, maybe, because everything is so new, all my feelings, all my hopes are right. No wonder Kate found her speech, if this is what she felt." She sat up, and so did I.

We put our arms around each other and nestled, forgetful that we were not alone in the house. "Your turn soon," she began to whisper, but the sound of crying cut her short. Real sobbing that I recognised as Kelly's.

I looked around and she was almost dragging herself towards us, tears running down her face. I held out my arms and said, "Come here, little one, tell me what's happened."

A few sniffs and she said in a trembling voice, "Kate says she doesn't need me anymore. She says she can do it by herself." More wails. "I thought she loved me."

TO BE CONTINUED