Lonnie (FG NS.)
First she said she didn't "Feel well." She let me drive, finally! I'm gonna get my learner's permit next year, so I didn't think about it right away.
"Uh, Mom!?" We just won, my first game, and then she starts creeping me out. You know, mom questions, about the other girls on the team. "I don't know, it's only the second game." Well, counting practice. Knowing them, practice is at least as good as playing a game.
"What about your coach?"
"Well, she's kind of a bossy bitch, but the girls say she just pushes us to be our best."
She laughed, but then then the real creepy questions. If she looked at the girls, in the locker room, or the shower? "No, she wasn't even in there."
"In her office?"
"Well, up in the gymnasium, and then in her office, after the game. Why?"
"Oh, no reason."
"Why are you talking like," she died inside? "That?" Like dad does, about war.
"No reason." She doesn't even. No, eyes on the road. "She didn't, have anyone in there, with her. Did she?"
"OMG, you don't." She does, "She's not a child molestor?" Is she? "I. Mean?"
"Huh, I don't know, we just. Used to play, soccer together."
"Is that what you called it back then?" Good, she snapped out of it, I was worried. "Let me pull over." There's a space. I stuck my tongue out, chewed on it, and I did all right. My first time, trying to parallel park.
"Oh," she got out, so I stepped on the brake. "Let me do it."
"No," she slammed the door, "MoOM!?" She just, ignored me! So, I hit the lock, and rolled down the window. Looked at the gear shifter, change lever, thing, and put it in R. No Idea what N is, or could be, so just skipped past that, and held the break down. "I'm not gonna learnit if you do it for me."
"Well, turn your wheels the other way."
"I'm in reverse now."
"Oh," she looked, "Then." Down, "Well, go slow, ease off the brakes, and just idle back."
"Uhuh?" I seen her do it like a million times all ready.
"Now, stop when I tell you to," she stepped back, and held her hand up. Where I could see it in the mirror, "Straighten out the wheel, now. Stop."
"Huh!" P is Park. Right? Where she left it, I even pulled the lever brake thing on the side, to make sure, and hopped over to the passenger seat.
"Okay, so you mean to tell me you think my coach is a child molestor? Why."
"No, I didn't say that."
"No, you asked me if I caught her looking at the girls naked, or took one alone in the office while we showered."
...
"Mom?"
"Yes dear."
"Why?" ... "Uh! Come on, I'm a teenager now. I know about sex, I heard about the Easterbunny, and Santa claus, if you don't want to have this talk, then at least tell me why seeing my coach, again, gave you a panic attack?"
"Oh, that wasn't. A panic attack."
"Yeah," I have them to, "It was," they run in the family. "You said you used to play together?"
"Yeah, she was on my soccer team."
"Did you also, play together? Sexually?"
"Huh!" She turned off the engine, pulled out the keys, and just dropped them. "She didn't try that, anything like that with you, or any of the girls, talk about it?"
"No, what about you?"
"What ab',"
"Did she try to look at, touch or sexually abuse you in any way, when you're girls?"
"Oh, we weren't girls."
"No, you're about my age?"
"Well yeah,"
"Then tell me about it, because I'm not a little girl."
"Yes, you haven't, are you still a virgin?"
"MoOM? Stop changing the subject! Uh! I'm trying to figure out if there's a child molestor, around my new friends, and you keep trying to put it on me. Stop it!"
"Now don't start playing the victim with"
"Helloo!" I waved, "I don't want to be a victim, so stop thinking about yourself for one second, and tell me what I need to know. Why do you think she might be?"
"Oh, we just fooled around. But we're both girls, that's okay, I just want to make sure she grew out of it, like the rest of us."
"Well, I fooled around a little too." Quid pro quo. My mom, gotta love her, is nuts. Known her all my life, if you try to get her to seak help she just accuses you of gaslighting her, and dad just couldn't take it any more. I don't even mind, most of the time, it just gets really frustrating at times like right now when she seems to care more about her shame and denial than my safety here.
"Well, I don't know if I want to play soccor any more, anyway."
"Oh dear," she hugged me, "Don't say that. Of course you do."
Okay, stop before I start crying.
"Hih!"
"Fooled around with who?" She frowned.
"Oh, just a friend." Or two.
"A boy friend, or a girl friend."
"Well, not a Boyfriend." And his girlfriend. "A friend. She's all right, I'm just not sure if we like eachother, like that. But she's pretty, and she likes how I look, and." It's complicated. "Huh!"
"Well, that's all right, dear." At least she's not homophobic.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"I'm bisexual."
"That's nice."
Went remarcably well, all things considered.
;
Joyce (Ff NS)
"Yes," I looked up, "Lana."
"Lonnie."
"Sorry, Lonnie. What is it?"
"You mind if I shut the door?"
"Go right ahead, is something bothering you?"
"You aren't a lesbian, are you?"
"No." When will people stop saying that?
"Well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything." She sat down, "It would be all right if you were, but. Sometimes, the way you look at the other girls, makes me uncomfortable."
"Look, now I don't know what you heard from them, but that's just locker-room talk. I never looked at, or thought of any of you, as anything except for the gifted athletes they are. I may be a little strict."
"No you're not!"
"Well," I remembered, "You're Dylan's daughter, right?" The Army brat. "I can understand why you'd say that, and I must say you didn't come in needing to learn discipline like most of them do, but the average suburban teenager might not agree with you. So, they make up stories, I'm a dyke, a manhater, and probably a feminazi, because I push them to win."
"Well, it wasn't that. Huh! Yeah, you're right, they call you dyke behind your back, but I'm an Army Brat." I didn't say it, "I know that means about as much as piss in a boot. My mother asked, because she was concerned."
"Well, your." Ahem. Mother. "Go on?" No disrespect, but. It's not my place.
"Tell me about it, I know, but she had a panic attack when she saw you with us the other day, so I managed to get something out of her, that makes me more than a little nervous."
"Well, I don't know what she told you, so go ahead and say it."
"She said you played with her."
"Well, I was the team captain, and assistant coach."
"Sexually. And that's why she had a meltdown. Seeing us with you."
"Oh, well tell her for me, it's just one of her fantasies."
"You two didn't fool around?"
"Yeah, maybe a little, but she took it way too serious, and practically stalked me a few years after that. We were friends, and team mates, then she went psycho, and messed it all up."
"Oh," she nodded. "Sorry to bother you."
"It's" not "fine."
I managed to hold it in, but when she left I was so furious I wanted to rip something in half, come in here and accuse me of sexual impropriety in my own office? Why, I never! Completely baseless accusation, and I tried not to judge, but when I heard who her parents were, or read her last name, I was a little nervous to have her on my team. I'm sure it's not hereditary, but you have no idea, and I don't have the time to tell you what that woman is like.
I'm not even sure, at this point. It's been years, she took a perfectly good man, ran him into the ground, fucked up her daughter, and came back to drop her special kind of drama on me like a cat with a dead bird. "See?"
"Huh!" I rubbed my eyes. No, thanks. Dylan, for taking one for the team. He got her out of our lives, for half a decade, and deserves a medal for that, I just.
"I need to talk to her." I just really don't want to.
;
Lyndsey (ffm NS Bi)
"Huh!" I miss my friends, but really, I need to think about it. Living with the postergirl for denial, let's just call that extra motivation.
I just don't know how to Feel about them. She'll probably read my notes anyway, so might as well write it out. I'm out to her anyway.
I'm bisexual, I'm just not sure I'm ready for that next step, with them. I mean 1-3 is a pretty big step. I'm a vigin, and while I like them, they love eachother, and I definitely don't want to get in the way of that. So, that's the problem with 3 somes, I think. As long as nobody gets jealous, I don't want to ruin that because I'm a little curious.
I'm bi, totally confirmed that, but doesn't mean I have to go full sexual, just because of that. I don't have to be group sexual, and while I do have friends I can talk to about it, they just don't help.
Would've been nice if Coach was gay or bi, mom's probably not the best one to go to, but wait. She said "I'm not a lesbian." Right? Oh, I'm so stupid, and since she brought it up, yeah.
Mom, she does look at them like that. Not all of us, even after, no especially since I asked her, she wouldn't, or couldn't look at me, but.
I'm not naming names, but she's got a favorite, she's a little older then me, but looks a lot younger. Shorter, less. Well, I'll say she's a late bloomer. She says she sees us as athletes, our potential, but. That one, I think she sees more than just that in her.
And no, she didn't have her in her office with her at all, but doesn't mean anything. Except she didn't try anything in there, with her, those 2 games and a practice, so far. Sample size, that's what they call it in science class. I haven't seen them do anything, but I've seen enough. I bet they're doing something, and honestly, I don't want to break that up, either.
Okay, neither one's my type. Honestly, Coach is like, as bossy a bitch as my mom, and old enough to be my mom, and from what I hear, "Ew." Better not even imagine that, but.
Let's say j. Little j. Not her initial, but not my closet neither. "Huh!" She's cute, and young, and just starting to have all these feelings, for an older woman, yeah I get that. It's not me, but I can sympathise.
Only I found out my best friend is bisexual, and her boyfriends' into it. So, basically, I have a choice. Or an opportunity, I have to decide when I get back.
It's too much. That's my answer, right now I'm not ready to take on a guy and a girl. I'm not going to see them for months, we're not even talking about getting serious yet, and I don't want to, but I'm already feeling very seriously about them, "Huh!"
But, I'm not ready. For that. I think I need to try one, or the other first. I mean more than just kissing, and feeling through clothes. I'm young, but I think I want to try to have sex. With one of them. First. Then maybe think about working the other in, but that's not really a solution as moving back to the next question:
"Which one?"
Guy or girl, when really that's the decision that has me stuck here in the first place.
I don't want to chose one.
God, why does it have to be so complicated?
But, I don't have to sleep right now, or get up for anything in the morning.
So, I can think about both. On the couch, together. We tried it all the ways, I guess. It just kind of happened that way, over several makeout sessions, but yeah. Me in the middle, or on either side of him, I like that. Left side or right, but I guess we can bot take turns, on the right, So I can use my right hand, but the best thing is I can feel both of them. Kiss both of them, go back and forth between his hard flat chest, and her soft round one. Her smaller, oh so skillful hands.
She just like, touched my hip. And my but, other places too, but really, when she just, felt my side like this, and did't just grab my ass, just. I can't do it, she's going to have to teach me that, but the way she just felt my hip. Kissing him, and I played with her boob. She's not much older, but she's got a lot more up front than I do, so far.
"Hhm!" But him. I don't know, it's weird, but that's my problem. Yeah, there goes denial again, ruining everything for everyone, but she's my friend. I don't want to take him away from him, but at the same time. I really want to take him away from her. But I don't want to hurt her like that. I don't love her, but I care about her, and I like her much to do that to her.
And she's gorgeous. And has a great body, and knows how to touch me like nobody ever has before. I guess she has practice, and knows what a girl body feels like, but I never imagined. How just her fingertips, on my but, and rubbing my hip with her hand feels like. But I love that. I loved it so much even with my hands full of boob, and kissing them back and forth.
And she's not left handed.
"Oh!" But he's so. I don't know if I can love a girl, but I know I could love him. If I can do that, without hurting her. I'm not like my mom, but this is tricky, and risky, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but exciting, and romantic, and the best feelings imaginable.
And they don't tell you that. They sure didn't never tell me that, they said look for "Love." In so many words, that it, 1 thing, love. "Phf!" Yeah, that sounds easy, I'll get right on that!
Like it's one thing. One feeling, one person, as simple at all as they make it look and sound. They should teach this in schools, instead of boring old literature, and leaving us to figure it out for ourselves. Or all the make-believe stories everyone makes up about it.
When will people stop lying about sex? Everyone! Everyone. That's why it's so wrong, and dirty and shameful, does anyone even know what they're really talking about?
If so, give me their number. Cause I have a lot of questions about that.
;
Stacy (Yeah, not her real name. Oh yeah, and TW: ff NS, but. Just kinda creepy.)
"Hey."
The new girl. "Janey, right?"
"Lonnie."
"Oh right."
"Good practice?"
"I guess." Ask me what makes a practice good or not. "Burn some calories."
"Oh, you're watching your weight?"
"If I don't nobody else will."
"Hihihn! Well, Coach."
"What about her?"
"Oh, come on. She noticed."
"I know the other girls call her a dyke, but she's not like that."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Gay?"
"How would you know?"
"Well. I never. Heard anything, substatiated. About her, hitting on girls." Just turning me away when I said something stupid.
"Hey, wait up?"
"What do you want?"
"Oh you know. Just to get to know the girls a little better. You're quiet, so I didn't want to bother you, but don't you find the other girls, I don't know, a little boring?"
"Not really an exciting neighborhood. Have you tried downtown?"
"Hihihn! No. Baghdad."
"What about Baghdad?"
"It's probably not as bad, downtown, here? I mean, yeah you hear sirens, and gunshots, but at least they don't have Mortars and Machineguns."
"You lived in Bagdad?"
"No, but I been there. We visited my dad there once, when he was deployed. Nowhere near the front line, dad's a tech. I didn't even get to see his, lab or whatever. Top secret stuff, I don't even really know what he does for them."
"Oh, well. Huh! That's really cool though. Does he have guns?"
"Well yeah, he's in the Army? They give him guns and ammo."
"Oh, cool."
"You like guns?"
"I don't know. There cool, but it's not like I ever get to play with them."
"Well good, because they're not toys."
"Nor toy guns, neither."
"No brothers?"
"No. Hippy parents, they don't get to play with them either."
"Oh," she made a face, "That sucks."
"You're lucky."
"Not really. Well!" She thought, "Maybe in some ways, and unlucky in others, as anybody." She shrugged, "It ain't all picnics, an' kittens, I'll tell you that!"
"Hahah! You're funny."
"Well, to be fair, I picked it up from an uncle of mine. You know the whole army's like one big family, so I got like a gazillion army uncles."
"Yeah."
"But he's real funny, so I get all my best jokes from him."
"Like what?"
"Well, they're all depreciating humor, like. Um, 'that private's too dum to pour piss out a boot with instructions written on the heel!' Like that."
"Oh," I got it, "Hahaha!" Because you have to turn it over, to read (Turn Boot Over] on the heel!
"Yeah, that's my favorite." She giggled, then stopped. "So, you like coach."
"What?" I looked around. At the empty soccor feild. All around, from the middle of the soccer field. After practice, like the last place any of us would go except to cut across it to put school behind us. "Uh?" She just looked at me, seriously. "Yheah," I looked down, "I did but. Huh! So, now you know how I found out she's straight."
"You hit on her!" She giggled.
"Well, no. I guess you saw. Well, of course you saw. I wasn't trying to hide it, but she finally told me to stop, or she'd kick me off the team."
"Why?"
"I'm 14?"
"I mean, why do you have the hots for her?"
"I don't know, just look at her?" I waved at the gym, but she wasn't there. She looked back anyway. "She's just so," big, and strong, and tough, and "Sexy!"
"Yeah?" She shook her head, "I don't see it," shrugged, "But I guess it takes all kinds."
"Well, you're straight, so."
"Hihnhn, no." She shook her head. "I'm bisexual."
"Sure you are."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Oh yeah, well. Who you been with?"
"Well first of all, I don't have to have sex to prove it, and for another, I have a boyfriend, and girlfriend back home."
"In Baghdad?"
"Hahno, silly. My dad was just on duty there, he's stationed in North Carolina."
"Oh, um. Fort Bragg?"
"Camp Lejune." She shrugged.
"Oh."
"You been with anyone?"
"No," I had my heart set on 1. The wrong one. Lucky me!
"Not even fooled around?"
"I don't know if you haven't noticed yet, but this town isn't exactly crawling with lesbians."
"I've only been back a few weeks, but yeah." She nodded, "It kind of is."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Don't worry about coach, she likes older women too."
"Oh."
"And she has to avoid anything like a sex scandal, being a lesbian here, and all."
"Yeah." I undertsand that. "So, they're really just closeted?"
"Well," she put her arm around me, "It's not like locker room orgies like the old days, but from what I hear, it hasn't changed much."
"Nihihn!" She's funny.
"No, really. My mom, and coach."
"Your mom's a lesbian too?"
"No, but that's your problem. You're just looking for lesbians. They're not the only ones that fool around with girls."
"Oh," so, "You want to fool around?" She's bisexual, right?
"Yeah, I thought you'd never ask."
;
Lindsey (GG Fool? Kiss, Neck... NS.)
"Jocks," shrug, "You see, some girls get into sports because they're jocks, and others because we like them."
"Yeah," begs the question which is she, but she doesn't answer. It's all right, pretty easy game to play, I'm sure she'll pick it up.
"Yeah, running, jumping, kicking..."
Bouncing.
I learned watching mom. Yeah, she's psycho, but she can talk the pants off a pope. Well, probably a bad example, say a eunich then. Or a drag queen, I don't think she's even all that sexy. She's my mom, but don't underestimate her. Don't listen to her, especially.
"Doesn't mean lesbian. Happens in the boys room, too. Just to start, there's also bisexual, transgender, intersex, pedophiles, ephebophiles, and non-prefferential child molestors."
"Oh."
"Any questions, or anything you want to hear more about. Don't be shy."
"Uh, you want to make out now?" I mean, yeah.
I like to talk, but. "Yeah." I kissed her cheek. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"What's it like?"
"Sex? I don't know." I know how to find out!
"With a guy and girl."
"Oh! You a little bi curious too?"
"No, just. Huh! I don't know, what I am. Just curious I guess."
"About boys?"
"And girls, and well. Sex."
"But I'm not making you uncomfortable?"
"No! I like you." She kissed me back. Real quick, but on the lips. Cool, not to fast, but progress.
"Oh yeah? Why?"
"I don't know, you're smart, and cool. You've been to Bagdad, I never even left the country, unless you count a couple trips down to Mexico, but that was just a couple hours, and MH!"
SH!
"Hm!"
"There," I brushed her hair back. "Wasn't that nice?"
"Mhm?"
"You have beautiful eyes." I just held them there, a moment until she blinked.
She looked down, "Thanks."
"You like mine?"
"Yeah, they're pretty too?"
"Good," she's learning it. Just hasn't played it yet. Like any other game, it just takes practice.
That's the thing, I finally decided. I can't compete, she already had sex. With him, and other girls, and while I don't want to compete with her for him, I have to admit that I'd lose. She has experience, practice. I don't, yet.
"Smq," But I have all summer, "Better." Rest my head on hers. "Huh! You're just the right height."
"You too!" The same height, that makes it a lot easier, standing up. Face to face, so everything lines up. Her boobs are smaller, but higher so they don't run into eachother, but I can.
"Hah!" Lift them up, under them, so hers press down in the top of my bra through my shirt, and together. So I can look down, she has cleavage, and mine flatten out, behind them.
Pretty! And it feels so nice.
Oh, and I checked. Knee to knee, and hip to hip. The same, so she should fit. That would be great, "You think we wear the same size?"
"No," she started to feel up. "Uh?" she looked up at me.
"Go ahead." I closed my eyes, bit my lip. But. nothing. Well, maybe not nothing, my chest in her hands, I felt that, but I didn't feel. It, yet. "Huh!" I relaxed.
"No, definitely not."
Stacey (GG Frot.)
Then, she fucked me. Fully clothed, but. "No." I shook my head. "Huh! That's sex!"
"But we didn't even take our clothes off!"
Let me explain. She's right, we didn't take anything off, except our bags. Just sat down together, in our gym clothes, and made out. At first.
But, then we did less talking, and more kissing. Got into some heavy petting, and she kept getting closer, and closer...
"Well, if you want to call that sex, whatever. I'm glad you got off on it, but. Just so you know, that's not sex. Just fooling around."
She's a liar, she doesn't know it, because she doesn't want to admit it, but for some reason she doesn't want to have sex with me?
She used her knee. Mine too, glad we took off the shin guards and everything, but we didn't pull down our pants. Wouldn't even let me unhook her bra, I think it makes her uncomfortable, but she just fucked the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure. Never heard of knee sex, but that, right there, was sex. Hard, she fucked me so hard I had to scoot up to the meat on top of her knee, and. "HohHohoh!" I just had another spasm, and decided, to lay down. In her lap a while, just to feel it fade away.
"Wow," I like that, "Hihihn!" Pulled up her top, "You don't. Smooch. Want me to, make it up to you?"
"Maybe some time." She sighed! "I'm just enjoying the moment."
"You smoke?"
"No, you?"
"No, but. I want to try it now."
"First orgasm?"
"I don't know?"
"Fairly straightforward question,"
"Yeahbut," I turned over, "Huh! I thought I did. Before."
"Playing with yourself?"
"Yeah, but. It didn't feel like that."
"Well, we're just fooling around."
"Okay," at some point I just let it go, "But you have gotten off. 'Just fooling around' before?"
"No, I can't get off."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, but I tried. Trust me, anything that wasn't terrifyingly dangerous, and I don't know if I'm ready to try anything." She closed her eyes, sighed. "Anything." Swallowed, "Kinky like that, yet."
"Like ropes, or candlewax. Tickling?"
"Hey, I thought you're a virgin."
"I was." Nod, "Lots and lots of porn."
"Like bondage porn?"
"Well, not just, but I liked the tied up and tickled ones. Girls porn, but other than that. Yeah. Hihnihn! Did you see the one with the T-rex, and the hoverboards?"
"Hahehn? No."
"It's funny, 2 lesbians, right? One's latina, and the other one's in one of those inflatable t-rex costumes."
"No shit."
"No really! And for a while it's just the T-rex chasing her girlfriend around in a bikini, but then she catches her, and she's all 'Fuck me t-rex!'"
"And you're into that kind of thing?"
"No, it's just funny. I don't know what I'm into." Knee sex, but. "But I thought it was funny at first."
"Hihin! It still sounds funny."
"Well, all of it, then I started growing up, and feeling sexy."
"So, that's why you think you're a lesbian?"
"Oh no, I want a lesbian, or I wanted to. Huh! I'm too young for men, they're still scary, but I want to, some day."
"Oh, sorry I misunderstood."
"Okay," not like I didn't make it sound like that.
"You got really floppy!" She laughed.
"Oh yeah?"
"Hihneah, like a ragdoll."
"Well," it's sex, "It's intense."
"I like bondage."
"Nehanhuhn! What?" She nodded, grinning. "Who with?"
"Nobody," she rolled her eyes, "I don't know anyone I trust enough, to tye me up. So, I improvized!"
"But you like it?"
"Yeah," she sighed, looked up dreamy. I turned, back on her belly, and felt her breathe. "Huh, it's weird. You know, how it makes you feel free?"
"No? Really?"
"Huh! Yeah." ... "I guess it's just me. But yeah, If I had to pick one word, it feels like, floating, free. Of everything. Huh! I don't know."
"But you can't get off."
"I don't want to."
"Ever?"
"No, just like that but. No? I don't know." She jiggled when she shrugged, so I felt the desire to turn back, scoot over, and rest my face on her chest. "Maybe I don't."
Sounded like a good idea, at the time. If there's a comfortable position for that, I didn't find it. So, I just enjoyed having my face all over boobs for a while. It's fun.
"I'd sure like to try it."
"An orgasm?" Bondage, with me?
Now I want to see her tied up.
"Huh!"
"Sure, just to see what all's the fuss about. You want to get up?"
"Yeah," I'm satisfied, and felt. Enough of it.
;
Lesle (GFF Lez/NS)
"Uh!" Coach. "Nhihihn!" On the couch.
"Lonnie?"
"Maybe I should talk to her."
"I just want to make sure, she doesn't say anything."
"All right," I just went on there, "Have a seat, break it up. Huh!" Why am I even surprised? "I see you had a talk with her." Mom.
"Uh! I'm sorry, sweety, but I'm an adult, and."
"I'm not even mad." Shake my head and suck in my lips. "Your secret's safe with me, you want to talk about sex now, mom? Coach, I really have a lot of questions for you too, so please stay. You want something to drink? Because I'm going to go get some water," and see who's too much of a coward to stay and get her clothes together. She went to her room. "Want another beer?" I handed it to her. Sipped ice water from the fridge, which inexplicably just happened to have beer in it.
"It just happened."
See what I mean? "Yeah, you brought a six pack. There's reason I'm not even mad, it's because I just got home from having sex with Stacy."
"What she like?" She sat up. Looked genuinely curious.
"Huh!" So I sat down. "SwoOoOoO!" Twirled my fingers, "Loolo, but amazing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Totally. "Mom just stopped asking about sex about the time she started getting afraid to hear the answers." Don't ask, don't tell. Just come up with a wild enough story she doesn't want to know.
She looked up, "Oh."
"You don't love her." Just to be clear.
"Noho!" She lowered to a whisper. 'I don't trust her. But."
"She great in bed." I nodded.
"She didn't."
"No, ew?" I nodded, "Give me a little credit. And her as well, she's not a child molestor."
"Yes." She nodded. "She is."
"Oh."
"So, I thought I'd keep an eye on her. For you."
"Really? Why?"
"Because you've done it too long all ready."
"Are you?"
"Huh! While I never have done it, no. I can't say I'm not attracted to young girls."
"But you don't want to fool around." With me? She's not my type, but I bet I could learn a thing or two from her.
"No." Period.
"Good," I nodded. "But I need a friend, I can talk to."
"That I can do."
"You think she didn't molest me, because?"
"She's in denial. If she did that, she couldn't be."
"She lives in denial."
She nodded, "So, if I had to guess, that would be too much for even her to deny, so she'd subconsciously fear having to confront that."
"And she's a bottom."
"What?"
"She's not. Uh! I don't know, she's a sex addict. So, she can't say no, but I never even hinted that I want sex with her."
"She can get pretty agressive."
"Yeah, passive agressive, but I've seen it a thousand times. Not until she knows she's won. It's a game to her, or like one. Juke around a little to set up a shot, or a one timer, then kick it in when she sees her opening." Just had to put it in her language. "She has to follow her rules."
"Is she diagnosed?"
"Yeah, Ha! Try and get her to talk to a doctor. She can spot them a mile away, then flip a coin to see whether they try to kill eachother, or she makes a Harley Quinn out of her."
"Haha! I missed a lot, these last few years."
"Do the math, I'm thirteen. It's been over a decade." Almost a decade and a half.
"What happened to her?"
"Well, most of this I heard about, some of it was her, so we can just cut that version out, but she started hooking through college. Then she got a degree, and played gold digger in the military."
"I saw the MBA, was she in the service?"
"No, the service was in her. Fucked half the army, or tried to. She's a psychopath. I'm fairly sure?"
"Oh, she said she's a business, professional."
"Of course she did. That means serially marrying service men, and staying home to watch their money. And me, kept a close eye on me. Set up a big fat trust fund, and made sure none of those mean old men ever layed a hand on me."
"Well good."
"Hah! Yeah, if you like nightmares about rape, and genocide good. You know why she likes soldiers? She doesn't. She hates them. I think it's probably bragging rights, and robbing them blind on Alimony. Plus having them deployed all the time, not retirees, pensioners, or wounded. She'd have to take care of them. No, she likes an active duty man that goes out to earn her lifestyle, and comes home often enough to show off to her girlfriends, while scaring the crap out of her stalkers, and making her potential future ex husband jealous."
"Hahah, you really got her figured out! How many she go through?"
"3 marriages, I can't guestimate how many affairs I knew about."
"And Johns?"
"Oh, she quit that after college, there wasn't enough money in it. Um." One of those questions, "Did you guys really have, orgies in high school?"
"No," she thought.
"No?"
"Well, we didn't really think about it, like that, but there was a couple of parties where we got pretty wild."
"Sex parties?"
"No, I mean. Yeah, there was some, sexual, type contact, but."
"You're just fooling around." That one only works on fools.
"Now that you mention it, in retrospect, I guess you could call it an orgy."
"But softcore."
"Oh yes. Not like pussy eating, and sex toys, but a lot of. You know how it is, slapping asses, and making out."
"Yeah, but. I also know what Just Fooling Around means. 'Oh, we were just fooling around.' We say that to adults, when we weren't just fooling around."
"Well, that's when I found out I was gay."
"How old were you?"
"Fourteen, then fifteen. The parties were to celebrate the end of the season. The first year because we almost made it to state, we were all so hopefull for next year, and. Yeah, it got pretty out of hand."
"How out of hand?"
"Stripping, wet teeshirts, and a lot of dancing? That's the first night we had sex."
"You and mom."
"I'm sorry if this is disturbing."
"Mom's disturbed. I can handle that, it's all I don't know I find disturbing." I'll probably have nitemares for weeks, but it's summer, and I should learn something from the experience. "I'm old enough to know."
"Yes, your mother was my first girlfriend. I was very closeted."
"You still are."
"All right, but I have to live here."
"Did you have to coach soccer?"
"Listen, young lady. I respect your experience, and expertise, but let's not forget who's the adult here. Yes, I had to. I probably wouldn't even done this well with another job, and I didn't start hooking, or hook up with a beard to pump out fucked up kids, no offense."
"No, you're right."
"And not only did I not do anything to them, but nobody else did, either. Yeah, I may have been in denial, but at least subconsciously, I protected these girls from your mother, the other people in this community."
"Did you, now?"
"Yes. Yes I did. She avoided soccer because of me, she couldn't face me after what happened."
"So, what did happen?"
"We competed, and destroyed the team, that's what happened. We fucked it up, literally. One-upping eachother trying to come up with bigger, and better things to impress our friends. She made me, so insane, did you ever love her?"
"Uh?" I shook my head, "I don't know. If love, I don't know. Love well enough, to answer that."
"Exactly. Well I did. Hell, I still do, and I never stopped, but it's a scary fucking love, okay? It made me do scary things."
"So, you think it's a good idea to go out with her now?"
"No. I didn't think, I can't with her around, and you know it. But, I'm not doing any better without her. Huh!"
I never thought, in a million years, I would ever see her cry. She didn't even try to hide it. "Snh! No. I'm fine." She wiped her eyes. "Huh! I'm stronger now. I won't let her make me do that again. I promise."
"Well you can help," but now I have to watch her too.
My mom is a child molestor. I believe her, it was just straight up reflexive denial at first, but with a big DUH tag tacked on top of it. "Huh! You can stay." I think I'd feel safer if she did, "But I have to go cry in my room, now."
She was there in the morning.
I never doubted she would for a second.
;
Coach (Anon)
Okay, that first time. The one time she was mine, she made the rounds. Actually got around to me late, because I was older, and I stuck around to keep an eye on her. And the girls.
I'm not a lesbian. She is the love of my life. Love at first sight? Well, right after that, she lept up from her bored slump. I believe the first word I heard was "WHAT!?" Then, she lept across the lunchroom to push him down.
A boy, about our age, doesn't matter. She did it right there in front of everybody, and kicked and screamed until they dragged her off the property. Go ahead and ask her what he said to her, I'll let you know if it's one I heard before.
She was home schooled. Heard something about behavioural problems, manic-depression, ADD, Borderline... Then she joined the soccer-team.
Umh, yeah. She was almost 13? Still had on braces, tore through us like a wildfire. First asking us about sex, then dirty jokes and, not hitting on us, but, "you ever kissed any boys? None of them want to kiss me, because of my braces."
I don't know when I fell in love with her, or what I would be had we not met, but I love her.
Then she got the braces off, and I just wanted to kiss her. There were other, younger, prettier girls to fool around with.
So, I started fooling around with them, too. She didn't have sex with, any of them, of course. But then, I did. Not right away, but after a few times, hearing the same story from my friends.
She left them. Hyper aroused, like she was trying to give them blueballs. Kissing, but a lot of heavy petting, always kept their clothes on, but all over their thighs, tummies, backs, and buttocks. She molested them.
"Like this?" I learned that one pretty quick. Of course, I wasn't molested by my kindergarten teacher, so I just wanted to have sex with them. Oral sex, on them. When they're old enough, I like a little field, in play.
I'm sure you're well aware, she likes them a little younger.
She didn't stalk me for years, I followed behind, and picked up her leftovers.
I got her panties off. First time, being eaten, bare flesh to mouth before. I don't know the story on her Kindergarten teacher, I didn't have her.
Happens to be an effective way to sift through tens of girls to see who's bi, or not.
Yeah, I tried with other girls, but they weren't her. After that first party, well. She left after that. Skyhooked an Army dick to skip town, but I stalked her. Told myself she was a menace to the community, and kept her from doing anything really bad, but I did something really stupid.
I took the clothes off.
I took her. Put her down on the bed, ate her out, and fucked her. To screaming orgasms. She might tell it some other way, take your pick of what one you want to believe, but I loved her. I made love to her, showed her what that can feel like, and it didn't fix her. She got worse. Didn't hurt anyone, too bad before she left, but only because I didn't let her. I warned girls about her, and threw a party when she left.
Not because the season was over, but because she was gone.
But I missed her. God damn it I missed her.
She cried. Still don't know what to make of that, but she might've learned to do that on command. Can she do that?
So, here I am. Single, and 32, with nothing more to show for it than a pretty great soccer team, and they pay me enough for a shitty little apartment with a parking space.
She can't love me back. I know that. She can have sex now. I know it doesn't help, but it makes us feel better.
Money. I'm not a gold digger, but she did pretty well for herself. Soldiers? "Fuck -em!"
"Exactly!"
She drinks wine now, I had to go out for some beers at some point.
Okay, it didn't just happen. I knew I was never going to be happy. I faced that, but I really get nothing out of all this?
No, she's not mine, she doesn't even own herself. But I can get a peice of her action, and take one for the team.
She's not rough. Not a forceful abuser, wicked tongue, but she didn't even humiliate me. Only she knows what back handed insults she held back, but it's funny, yeah she's funny.
"Hahahaha! Yeah, I'm fat."
Emotional abuse? Yes, I can handle emotional abuse.
And she looks so young! Getting a kid out of the way when you're, was she even 15? Really filled her out, overseas at the time, missed a dozen years of it, but has it really been that long?
Yeah, she's "In her 20s," but she doesn't look 31, they believe her. Just never really did the math before. So, while I can say she hasn't changed a bit, if I hadn't seen her before, I might believe her if she said 18. If not, I'd think she was lying to say she's older, her older sister, not her daughter? The fuck? She didn't act that way when she was so young, but.
Yes, I missed you.
That was, not better than I ever imagined, but I've been imagining this for decades, so I got a little creative. Nightmares, but I always kind of liked them. Started masturbating in my sleep at some point, not as bad as I ever imagined, either.
Not loving, maybe she can learn to fake it, but she didn't try it with me. Lust, and fun! Did I mention, it's always a whole lot of fun, but.
Yes, I have her in my arms again. I did miss her. She's right about that.
;
(2BC...}