Meghans law

Meghan

"Have a seat," I don't know what the glasses mean, "We need to talk about Amber." but she's wearing them like one of those hair clip loop, things. We used to wear them, when I was a little girl, haven't seen one in years.

"What about him?" Sit down, shrug, shake my head.

"Huh," she looks uncomfortable, which is weird, for her. "Well, first of all, she's not transgender. She's a girl, oddly enough." Rolls her eyes, "But she seems to have deep rooted psychological issues which drown out any possible gender ones."

"That bad," I could see it in her eyes, "Huh?"

"I'm having trouble even narrowing down a primary diagnosis, but she affects Anti-social, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic, traits. In no particular" alphabetical "Order. There's just so much overlap, and internal conflict, she might subconsciously pick one..." She remembers, "Does she have any growth on her pubis? It might feel spongey, but unlike a Mons, it would be painfully sensitive."

I shook my head, "So," mentally looked those up, "Personality Disorders?" We've been reading up in her copy of the DSM-IV. I'm not bright enough to become a doctor, and even if I was, I don't have the grades for a scholarship. Swimming isn't like football for colleges, and I suck at Dribbling.

"There's no diagnosis." she sighs, "It's not in the book," Her DSM-IV-Tr. "and I don't think the psychiatric community as a whole is set up very well for unique cases. It makes my job difficult, but I have some experience with similar, people." Admittedly, both Men. "So, I can explain it, and tell you what to watch out for. She's an emotional abuser, I'm not sure what experience she has in that, but she doesn't suffer from it."

"She enjoys it," that explains a little.

She shook her head, "She learns from it. Take your seduction, for example. She groomed you, and took advantage of your sexuality."

"You make me sound like a victim!"

She holds up her hand, so I sit back down. "Victim/consent, these aren't absolutes. In the real world, with real people, but that's not Amber's worldview. Hmh. She only sees 2 kinds of people, Victims, and abusers, and I can tell she at least subconsciously decided which one she wanted to be, some time ago."

"You're telling me she sees me as a victim?" That doesn't make sense, she loves me!

"She hasn't made up her mind yet, AFAICT." She didn't spell it out. I abbrv, it helps a lot. 2 guesses who I learned that from? "She lies, she's pretty good at it, so there's always her real motives behind what she tells you. She's very good at explaining things, but biasing it by leaving something critical out. She also rolls her eyes to cover her lies, but when she looks left," her left, "she's thinking of something to say. Right seems to be sincerely remembering, or processing from memory, but she doesn't know her own tells yet."

"So she's some kind of abuser." I started crying, "And a liar?" I felt so betrayed, even though I can't remember any abuse? I felt the sudden need to dive into water, kick, pull, and breathe. "Huhhhh, Hwhhhh."

"She seems to prefer Emotional Abuse," she nods, "And fetishizes Sexual abuse. She's like a Child Molester, but not a Preferential Pedophile. Instead, she exploits people, looks for weakness, and gets off on taking advantage of it."

"But I'm not a child," I shake my head, "She's even younger than me." We were going to get married!

"Opportunists aren't exclusive to children, they just have more weaknesses to exploit."

"No she's not?" I bend my elbow over my eyes, "She can't be." soak into my sleeve. "Uhnhunuhuh!" I can't say anything more communicative.

"She doesn't love you," she sighs, and rubs my back. "She's trying to, may even believe in it, but she's not capable of love, the way you, or I feel it. She loves the ideal of you, the image she has in her head, but she can't understand you well enough to. She, lies to herself. As well, actually no, first, and foremost. If she can convince herself, she can convince anyone. Potentially, it can beat a Polygraph, if she learns to truly believe it. But not as long as she consciously thinks of an evasive answer. A half truth still feels like a lie. That's unique, when it's even plausible in the first place, but has been recorded."

I just cried, while she thought to herself, out loud. At some point, I couldn't even pay attention any more. I wiped my eyes, before I left.

She looked up, and smiled at me. The door hissed behind me, or the weird mechanism at the top. "Ruth, right?" She nodded, happily. "You're not waiting for, Maud are you?" This is the hard part, "You want to go grab some coffee, or something?" There, I said it. She runs the Addicts Anonymous group, in the same church basement. She's also Catholic, like Larry, or

"Recovering Catholic." I went to church, but ever since Santa, and the bunny got outed, I never really had much faith. How do people get addicted to that? "You all right?" She rubbed my shoulder.

"Huh," I shook my head, "I just, found some things out about my, relationship." Pretty much my only one since I moved here. {Continuity Note: From Florida, to see her/hir/Larry's Endochrinologist.}

"And you need to talk, to process it?" She stopped, "This is me." It was like a car, with a truck bed. )Ranchero) on the tailgate. I don't know cars, but it was different. I hadn't seen many others like it, kind of old with a blocky front end, like a taxi, or old police car. I buckled up, but the long door was heavy. "What kinds of problems you girls having?" Can't place the accent, at all, not even going to try.

"Huh!' deep breath, "Maud makes her sound like some kind of monster. It just doesn't make sense." I started crying again, right away. "It just doesn't sound like her. You think she could be wrong?"

"Psychiatry is not an exact science. She's more like an artist, but fallible, yes. Is it the gender thing? We can hear you in group, even back in that corner. She just prefers to moderate, with as little interference as possible."

"I thought it was," I shook my head, "She's so." I don't know the right words. Agressive, sexual, predatory? "I thought it was manly," the way she acts sometimes, "and her fantasies, but Maud doesn't believe her."

"Mhm?" She nodded, and pulled up to a MacDonalds. "Yeah, lemme get a large coffee, black, some sugars, and." She turned back.

"A Coke?" She turned back, "No ice." Summer's pretty over.

"A large Coke, no ice."

"Do you want to upsize either of those drinks?"

"Biggest ones you got," she pulled up. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"It's private," I sighed, "But, there seems to be some, I don't want to say Violence. It's not all whips, and chains, and stuff, but Maud says it's 'Emotionally Abusive'."

"Whatever that means?" She tucked her wallet back, and shifted back in the seat. Nice ones, comfortable, nothing like a truck's. "It's tricky, subtle. Emotional abusers don't want to hurt them, that's too obvious. Why, have you been having abusive thoughts, or fantasies about Amber?"

"No!" I shake my head. The window slides open, so I hold that thought. Don't want to just blab about this private stuff to some stranger. "Uh, I love her." I wet my dry throat quick. "Ah! Umh, that's what's got me all confused. Dr. Santiago says she doesn't love me back, and I don't know who to believe."

"Maud has," she sighs, "Mental blocks, I guess. She's different, but there's all kinds of different. So, you have Maud over here," she nods her head to the side, but keeps driving, "And then there's other kinds over there, which she can't feel very well. She's a really very intuitive person, but when that fails, all she has to fall back on is Analysis. She can do that too, but she has to think about it. Did she mention a diagnosis?"

"Well, she only met Amber once," she didn't come back, but Maud says that it requires trust, and Amber doesn't trust doctors. "She said, 'Some sort of Psychopathy', and a bunch of personality disorder for behavioral traits." She hasn't opened up about that, yet.

"And yet she picked up on this emotionally abusive mindset?" I nodded, "That's a bad sign. If even she saw it, that quickly, then there must be something there to pick up on. You're young," she rubs my shoulder again. "And inexperienced?"

I nodded, "Never been with anyone else."

"Well Maud isn't."

Ruth {Ff NS Fant.}

God, I kept her at arm's length. When all I really wanted was to hug her, and kiss her, and tell her everything would be all-right. But she's only, what, 17? She didn't look like any kind of Psychopath, or maybe it was like that Hubert kid, an extended psychotic break, just an episode, a phaze. ? And here I am, pushing 40, and God why does she have to be, so.

?

I know my type, and while I ain't never hearda Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia before, I couldn't argue with the results. Had to be nearly 6 foot, and I don't want to ask her how tall she is, how big those shoes really are, give her too much encouragement, or the right idea. I could, make a move on her, if I wanted to. I hope, no, I think I could, but it's too inappropriate. It's not just her age, she's got a girlfriend, and I don't want to think that they're having problems, hopefully.

"I don't know anything about this, psychology stuff." But I have to admit that I am capable of emotional abuse, and Denial is probably my biggest problem. Of course, she'd probably reject me anyway. She'd have to make the first move, and I don't think she will. "Can I drop you off somewhere?" Pull up behind the cars stopped at a light. She kissed me, "Hm!" DAMN it!

I pushed her back, "What?" She brushed her lip, and bit it, self consciously.

"Huh," green, I watched the cars a few seconds. "Look, this isn't, it wouldn't be appropriate. I have issues too, and there's the Group rules." Posted every meeting:

1: This isn't a singles club. We want to avoid any positive, and negative reinforcement, so think about your urges, and get a second opinion before you act on them.

2: Ask, don't assume.

"I would have to talk to Maud at least. As my therapist, and my girlfriend before I get into, anything likeat. I have issues too, but you're so emotionally vulnerable right now, and that ain't right." Irregardless of what it feels like. "I, it wouldn't be fair to you, picking you up on the rebound from another emotional abuser, and." And she's just so young! Something I never want to feel like is a child molestor, and she's the type to shave. "Uhn," don't cover your eyes, rub them one, by one to keep them, and the car on the road. "Let me think about it, you before we get into anything." But I can't remember feeling this excited, ever.

"I don't understand that," she thought, "I didn't hear you're, abusive to, I don't guess she talks about your relationship, with us patients."

"She's a very private person," and I hate it when she brings work home with her, "So, she compartmentalizes." She doesn't get it, so I sigh, and turn in the general direction of her neighborhood. "It doesn't work too well on her, she's too good at it, and though it's not her, usual personality, she's fully capable of bouncing it right back atcha." I took a breath. Let it out slowly, but didn't count to 7.

"Well how does it work?"

I reach out, and slip a curl for my fingers. "I knew another dishwater ginger once." Even though I'm a dishwater blonde. She sighed, and blushed. "See? It's easy to insult someone if you say it right. Like telling a dog what a 'stupid boooy!' he is, and he just wags his tail like a puppy. It's like the slap, and kiss battered wife disorder, thing. Only it's subtle. It's too obvious when you hit them, I'm not violent, mind you. More defensive, and territorial, but I know what to say to hurt someone, and I can't always hold it back."

"You think out loud too." She giggled, but didn't cover her mouth.

She's got great teeth, "It fosters co-dependence." I rubbed one of mine with my tongue.

"Dr. Maud," that still sounds so cute when the kids say it, "Says I'm getting a little of that?"

"It's like the perfect victim, so manipulative personalities like to instill it. Your sexual harasser, positive reinforcement used negatively like 'Hey, babe' from a stranger on the street. With relationships, we start off with the romance, and the act, but I ignore stuff that annoy me." I look over, and she nods back. "Huh! I bury it, and let it go bad in the back of my head until I hate them, drive them away, and blame them for it. I can be a bitch, when I don't think about it."

"Yeah," she nodded, "Likeat." Like that. I let the breath out of my nose. She's not making fun of me, she's just young, and still picking up on the way people talk. "This is fine," I pulled up, and she jogged off. Someone honked behind me, so I figured damn the gas, I need a drive. Climbing's not that hard, so I can just coast...

"Huh!" She's perfect, really. Remind you of someone, at that age? Shop nerd, instead of swim jock, but other than that it's the locker room, instead of the closet, or the workshop. Strap on the protective gear, and wind up the power tools to drown everyone out. Yes, empathy. While, she's not in here, right next to me, I can't smell her.

I hit the lighter, and crack my window. What? It helps me think. Okay, it's mostly the other biker girls that judge me, I admit there's some conflict between staying in shape, and destroying my lungs. But I can drink, and smoke, I know I have a problem.

And everything has it's reactions. Predictably enough, getting a desirable self image didn't just come with more confidence, but also more girls hitting on me. Or any, I guess. It takes some getting used to, even when it's not a Girl. With complimentary issues,.. and conflicting ones, it's just so deliciously complex, which is probably the emotional attraction.

She's not broken, but what I see in her, the feelings she can't hide. She doesn't like her body, I don't know why, but I can understand that feeling. Honestly, she's gorgeous, in her clumbsy self conscious way. I didn't get to see it as much, standing in front of me, and looking back, with attraction.

So, the question is why am I uncomfortable, at all. She's tall, and beautiful, and young, and pretty, and. "Huh!" Better drive back to the office. She won't be off for a while, but maybe I can slip in between appointments. I can't figure this out on my own.

Meghan {iF Saph Camp}

She picked me up, and I threw my new bike in the back. "I've never been camping before." I thought that'd get her attention, after trying all winter. "Hiking, yeah, but spending the night?" She'd said I didn't need to bring any gear. "Amber, and I didn't really have a curfew, but we mostly went out in the day." Rednecks, among other things.

Short drive to the Arroyo, past the BMX course, well Motocross first, but they's moved up from there. Fording the last of the spring trickle, she parked behind a mound that we could dig out, and pat down to a pretty good /T\able. She pulled her bags out of the back, clipped them on, and tied them onto her thighs. Hand made, holster, and knife. Right.

"It's just a .22," she caught my eyes. "For snakes, and dogs. There's some ferals down there, give me a hard time. 2 legged varmints if'n they get ornery." Not Yosemite Sam, but maybe his lesbian cousin. I laugh. "Not expecting bears, maybe the report would scare one off," she shrugs. "What?"

"Balloo!" I laugh.

"From the jungle book?" she thought, "I don't think I remember being called a Bear before!" We both laugh. "Grab your bike, it's down this way." Alongside the creek, it kept getting bigger and we had to climb up to the road for a bridge when it ran into the river. Mountain bike, got some longer cranks, but the seat all the way down. Kind-of hard to keep up, even with all her gear, on a Touring frame (Surley Long Haul Trucker, I looked it up whenever I was researching. For this.) especially in the climbs.

Beautiful trail, water alongside it most of the way, and usually in sight. Steep, and punishing though, this isn't a Trials bike, but a hardtail. Just shocks in the fork, dad didn't pay twice as much for the one with a sprung rear. Mostly downhill, away from the creek at the cataracts in steep switchbacks. Into the gorge, follow the water, it always finds a way down.

Woodier, and woodier, even some hardwoods by the water, the washes, the occasional pool where a waterfall was high enough to dig them out. Missed most of those detouring for a less vertical decent. Tricky, technical, fun, no way to pass her in the narrow single track, and it's be suicidal with that near cliff beside us. So, lots of brakes. Getting pretty hot, even under the canopy, but I couldn't take my hand off to hydrate. Didn't think to bring my Camelback.

Still pretty much spring, but more than warm, with the wind from our speed to cool us. Then another stream, but she turned up the service road. I groaned, and shifted down, way down before swinging onto the single track. "Uh!" Almost like a BMX ramp, all by itself, probably at least a mile down from the gate, and anything else. I couldn't even hear traffic.

"You ready for the hike, or you want to take a break?" There's time, apparently. All weekend. Grades, I have to do better, so school nights count.

"Huh!" I wipe my forehead, and drop my helmet, "Yeah, let me catch my breath." She shrugs, and pulls out her pipe.

"Pw pwh," she shuts her lighter. "C'mere,"

Her fingers shake, and I feel my heart pounding. I don't care how old she is, or what she looks like, but I can see her beauty. And the way her chest moves when she breathes. She unzipped her top a while ago. I sat down, and she cupped my shoulder. Leaning back, my hair brushed her arm, and I settled back, relaxed. She set her pipe down when it went out.

"I've never been with a real lesbian before."

"I know," she sighed, "In a word, patience. No need to rush, whenever you're ready." She rubbed my hand, "Whenever you feel ready."

I'm bad at this. But they're right there, and her hand follows mine up to the side of her chest. "Why do you wear a swim-suit?"

"It's a surprise," she put her finger on my lips. "Besides, I don't want to pack underwear too." She closed her eyes, and let it fall, so yeah, I took the hint. "Mhh." Through her nose, I brushed her hair out of her face, and palmed her cheek. Soft warm lips. British smile. That's not a compliment, I can get past it. Sweet-tooth, too. No hardware yet. But she tasted smokey, so I didn't mind. Strong tongue, fought back, like a thumb war, and her chest was warming up. I never felt that, under my hand before.

"You mind," I felt down her tummy. Firm fat? I can't feel the muscle through it, but I sure know it's there.

"Oh," she chuckled, "You don't have to ask, honey." A gust hissed in the leaves, and the spots of light flickered around us. I couldn't chose, so she lay back, and I turned up on my hip. Her chest flattened, some, and her tummy. I pulled the cup back, and got one out. "Mh," I kissed it, and felt it pop. Not real hard, but large, and hot with blood. I played circles around her tummy until I felt the little dip. Maud told me, 'She can drive, but you have to get her going.' And this drives her wild.

"Nh," she giggles, "NhHnHnHN!" And pushes my hand. "A little further down, honey." Her knees come up, and she pushes off the ground, so I help her out of her pants. One leg, then the other. "Put them under me." She sat back sown. Or relaxed, and let her leg down.

Matching bikini, oddly enough. Dark green, not really a girl's color, or the Army's. Just a simple bikini, tied on the side. "Hm!" Hairy, but cut short, and it felt like just on top. I brushed it with my palm, and cupped the soft flesh underneath. Really very soft. "How, do." She took my other hand. Curled up my pinky, and first finger. "Oh." I nodded, "I know this one." Felt the wet spot, we won't need lube, she told me. I felt some out to wet her higher. Really have to hunt for it, but she grunted when I found it.

"Nyeah." I dipped more out, and rubbed it around, got her lips, and, skin. She really has a lot of it, wet. She felt down, and rubbed at it so I went back in. "Mh, yeah."

"I know," I rubbed her shoulder, then further down. I bent over held her nipple to suck it some more, but it wouldn't come in enough to hit it with my tongue. So, I opened my mouth wide, and covered my teeth with my lips. "MhuhUH?" She was excited, and I was thirsty, so i kissed my way down her tummy. I liked it, I thought I might not, but I guess because I was always told I was supposed to. And it's not all fat.

Her boobs are fake, and I don't know how to feel about that. She lost a lot of weight, and 'Had to backfill' but they feel weird. I might have to get used to them. I want to, though, and the nipples still work, so I shrug, and climb over her leg. Wow, sweaty too, even outside, but fresh and a bit body-odery. I'm an athlete, who am I to complain? I don't pull my hand out, shes so close already, so I just move my fingers, and I think I've got the gist of it.

"Snh!" That other sweat, but she still tastes salty, without even an afternote of urine. No, this is Ruth, don't think about. Ruth, I want to say it, but not with my mouth full.

"Oh, woAH!" she took a deep breath, and moaned so loud it sounded like a howl. Not even going to try to spell it, they don't make the right vowel. Almost reminded me of a hound, or some other creature I'd never heard make a sound like that. My fingers slipped on her lips, and I shook a drop off my knuckle. Well, she helped, she wasn't exactly holding still under me. "Uhm" she pushed my hands back, "That's good, huh!" she licked, and sucked at my fingers. "Mh huh!"

I wondered if I'd ever come like that!

Ruth {Fi NS}

"You mind if I," rubbed her tummy through her shirt. Oooooooh!

"You don't have to ask, neither," she looked over and bit her lip, "But, if you don't mind if I take a dip?"

"Sure," I sniffed, "I'm getting a little gamey too."

"Huh?" we laughed.

"Well yeah," she helped me up, and I grabbed my, things. Glad she likes them, they rinse out fine. Tied on, she's already down at the water, dropping her denim shorts, and pulled off her tank top. "Uh!" Single piece! Shaking my head, I pull out the poncho, towels, and unroll them. The pipe runs out, so I tuck it back with the lighter. Listen to her splash in, laughing. Kind of a tenor, what do I know about pitch, but deep for a girl. And so tall. Look to the heavens, "Thank you!" I don't lace up my boots to climb down.

Tanned too, in between the freckles on her shoulders, and neck. I love her haircut, wish mine weren't so damed curly. Shrug, I better get the funk off, and out before I chase her off, so I find a root, and hang on. The current isn't that bad, but she just treads water, forward, and keeps up. In my wake, I just kind of lay back, and float. "So how's you, and Amber?"

"Didn't work out," she shrugs, and sweeps her hands back for a double kick. It's hypnotic really, so graceful, like a jellyfish? "I can't satisfy her, she's a psycho, byegones."

My head perked up, "~Fish?" {Alley Mcbeal}

She nodded, "It's on Netflix."

"I know!"

"Right? I heard you liked that show, and I didn't know there was lesbians in it."

"Debatable, actually." I shrug, "Okay, Anne Heche did a picture perfect Tourettes," we had a girl like that, at St. Agnes, "And Portia de Rossi. Uhn!"

"I know, right?"

"Well, she's like. Gay isn't the only way that can happen, and Ellen, you don't have to be gay to love Ellen."

"She's funny."

"The dish," she laughs, "Oh that's mostly a gay thing, but you know, the hollywood gossip?" I wiggled my finger. "I'm not a People," Magazine "Person. But yeah, I'm up on queer culture."

"That kiss though," ? "Alley Mcbeal?"

"Yeah, that's not gay. Neither of them were, so it was more like Hollywood Brokeback gay. Uh," I rolled my eyes, "The only one gay involved in that whole project played the homophobe. It was written by a Jewish spinster from the Bronx, and there's things in there that're dangerous-to-abusive if you tried it in real life." It's a pain in the ass, really. "Quaid," ? "Randy Quaid." I rolled my eyes, "So anyways, it's like porn. Softcore sure, but they don't make it for us. Men make porn and all that objectifying media for each-other, but they don't really care about us girls. Lesbos are hot, though, so the vast majority of FF is written by guys with no idea what the fuck they're talking about."

"Oh." She thought, "What kind of girls you like?"

"Hehuha!" Not at all like that Bert perv's chuckle, "This is going to sound like a line, but you're perfect. No really, I always had a thing for tall beautiful model types," I looked up, right for a memory, "Uhm, I think my first crush was actually Grace Jones." ? "Uh, you ever seen Conan the destroyer? Hmh, tall black girl, 'View to a Kill?' Nevermind, lemme see. Okay, Portia, got that one, Callista Flockhart. Oh yeah, Iman, she went out with Bowie too." She blushed. "Bowie, that's still pretty fucking gay, I got a rule, the Bowie rule. It trumps all others, it ain't cheating if it's Bowie."

"Girls?" I rolled my eyes. "I like that Fashion! song."

"Whatabout you?" I shrugged. Probably never happen anyway, but 'Knowing is half the battle!' ~G. I Joe!

"Julia Roberts. What? Amber always reminded me of her, or her smile. I like older ladies, uhm?" chewed her lip, and looked up. "Huh, I never really thought much about it really, there were some teachers at my school. All of them straight. hwH!" She blew her bangs, and leaned back to sweep them with the water, but had to breast-stroke back up to her.

"We better head up," I turned back from the wash, "Daylight." Deena Meyer. That's who she reminds me of. I snap my fingers, now why was I even thinking about Amber? If I were casting a movie though, that's who I'd get to play her, with a bleach, and dye job.

She turned, threw an arm over to swim to the edge, pushed herself out with a grunt, and reached down. "Need a hand out?" Other than the grunt to pull herself out, it was effortlessly,

"Graceful!" I bit back no, I've got it. I wanted her hand up. "We better go soon," I put my hand over my eyes, "If we're gonna make with some light left." So she can see the surprises. I made them for me, but I bet she'd love both.

"Where're we going?" she ran up like a BMX biker. I'm guessing a cruiser, at least. I handed her up the bikes, she helped me up.

? She doesn't have to ask half the time, just make that face.

"Back there." I waved to the brush wash, and she found the camo net behind it. "My place. We've got a place up in The Heights too, but whenever I need to get away," or take someone away for a nice romantic weekend.

"I bet it's beautiful," she leans down, and kisses me. So, we get all dried off, and dressed, and packed up. She pulls her weight. "I like your bags." I zip in the poncho with the suits wrapped in the towel.

"Thanks," I turn my thigh, "This one's made for cameras," and a lens, I'm not photographer, but "Goodwill. They're a bitch to get balanced." I start up. "Scrambling, and climbing is good exercise. So's swimming, and biking, but this works out everything, eventually. I think it makes for a more practical body."

"Uh huh?" She held down a hand.

"I don't need your help out here, honey. I like it, I love the gesture, but this is my trail. I beat it myself, carried up a 30# pack of tools, and harvested entire logs 'round here." I pointed at the crater left by that downed Pinyon from the other month. Took a couple springs to get it high enough. "It's almost finished, in that perfect perpetual almost finished I hope I can keep a lifetime."

"Uh," she's out of breath, "You own this land?"

"Maud's got some lawyer friend looking into the whole legality of it," Squatters rights, "I can camp here, and if they don't catch me in 3 years, I own it." Not that I recognize their authority over me. I'm not a legal person, in their system.

"And you'd really move out here?"

"I'd spend the rest of my life out here if they let me, but not alone." For instance, my right to marry. I don't want to adopt her. "Larry doesn't like it down here either, but if you don't like this you won't love me. It's a package deal, baby."

"Sounds kinda nice, really."

Meghan {...}

Okay, how can she smoke, carry her, and her gear up this hill, and keep talking the whole time? "Uh huh?" Huh huh huh... "What altitude is this?"

She shrugs, "bout the same as in town. So anyways..."

"Uhn!" She makes me look out of shape, and I hate it. We're going to have to hike back down, then ride our bikes back up, tomorrow, night, at the latest. Maybe sunday.

"Here we go," she helped me up the lose wet sand. Like quicksand, only slowly washing down a crack in the hill. "What do you think?" She doesn't have a house. Just some piles of stuff under some leaves, and another one of those flappy net things, and some tarps. "Can you start a fire?" She puffs, and holds back her lighter. I turn around, and drop it. Brass, okay there, pick it up. They mentioned she thought of herself as an artist. Might have even said Sculpter.

"Wow." She looked back, "Is that you?"

"It's supposed to be The Goddess. Still working a lot out, on her." Looked like her, body. Not up to the face yet, there's a head, but there's even bark where the face should be. "Here," she handed me a baggy of sawdust, and wood chips. "I figure Creation was part of her aspect, so went for pregnant. I found the perfect stump up here."

"Next to a waterfall?" It's really more of a, what's the word, it doesn't fall that far, and there's not much washing over it.

"No, I built the dam." I got up next to it, which made me tall enough to look over.

"How deep is it?"

"Deep enough to swim?"

She nodded, "I don't touch the bottom unless I dive down, but you wouldn't make it very far." There was a couple trees growing out of it, then the slopes start back up it in the back. Little trickle of creek, kind of folded together. "Not much current..." She was tying a tarp to some trees, I looked up, and saw green needles, it was still growing.

All green tarps, she took another one over, and tied it to another one. Then she unfolded another one and tied it up. Well, not getting that merit badge, my brother was a scout. So, I set her bright orange Bic on a rock, and just climbed up to watched her, resting my arms on the log in the top of the bank.

Meghan {Ff Pheb, Mole.}

"Mh?" Her fingers were cold, but so soft. Just the tips weren't rough, but she had to get them real wet with spit in her mouth. She doesn't like to kiss, I think she's ashamed of her teeth, but she loves my nipples, and bats away at them with her tongue. Sucked in, popped out, bulging with blood, I can almost feel my pulse in them. She breath on my chest, and the deep pounding. Thudding in my ears. Her tongue moves back, and I gasp, feel her damp fingers brushing up to her thumb.

Just the edge of the tip, her smooth nail rolls back the skin, and she holds it back behind the head. "Nh!" She pushes it between her fingerprints, and pulls the skin out over it, with them. "Nguh!" I try to take a breath. "Uhuh!" Amber never touched me like this, I didn't know how, but it was almost like. "Huh!" Jerking off the way she pinched, and pulled on it. "HnhHhHhH!" Her fingers sank into my wetness, and my leg flopped on, my other leg, the bottom one. "Ah," I grabbed under my but, "Cramp!" She just relaxed, and held still while I pinched, and rubbed it out. "H! Hih hinH!" I caught my breath, and swallowed. Her fingers twitched back, inside me, and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

"Oh!" She gently pushed my hip down, and bent my knee. I pulled my other one up, under her, climbing over. Brushing me with her soft curves.

"Hmmm!" I took another breath, and held it. Felt her breath on my lips, her licking her fingers, on either side of my tight stretched lips. Between them, the tip of her tongue slipped up, and I felt her lip roll over her teeth. My skin, pushing back to the bone, pinching me, my. I don't try not to think about it, but. It's not a boy, it's a little man, in a boat. I can't fuck anything with it, it's not like a penis, I can't even pee through it. Or standing up, there's all this stuff in the way. it really makes a mess, honestly.

My wrinkles squish wetly around on her tongue, and she pulls back, to suck on it. It in, she moves her fingers enough to touch it with her tongue, between her lips.

"Augh!" I like her haircut, the unruly mop of curls, no red in them. Not toilet water ginger, a tampon floating in it. Golden, with a little rust maybe? Gold doesn't rust, but if it did. I bet it'd sparkle like Ruth's twisting in the sun when she turns her head. It looks like Amber's in the firelight, though. "Hnnnnnh!" Double!

"You mind?" she kneeled up, put one leg up on the foot next to me. I looked up her thick soft thigh to her beard. And another thing. Amber was just too little.

"So," I sat up on my elbow, "How do you be butch?" I listened to her, mostly. I didn't say anything else, with my mouth full. But I thought it, "Ruth!" You know, that's not a very girly sounding name? "Hmh!" I couldn't think any more, with her soft hair flesh pressed against my nose.

Maud {TH NS}

"NO!" The punched, and grometted manuscript flapped like a bookbird.

"Close," She slammed it, and I slipped out of my heels.

"THIS VERSION IS BULLSHIT!i!i"

"Calm down," I stood up, but kept my arms at my sides. "Don't get,"

"UH!" Violent. I sidestepped, along the wall from the desk corner, and she threw herself on the couch. I swear, we're across the room from each-other the whole time. Which is good, because She could probably hit me from there before I could react. 'nHNt!' Into her elbow.

"Huh!" I pull the chair out from the corner. "Now." Sit down, "What did she get wrong?"

"Hm?" An eye, a rather wet one. No way I'm saying the name.

"Huh, h." Deep breath. "Huuuuuuuh."

"Oh, uh," wipe, sniff, wipe, "She didn't, she never um."

"You didn't get off?"

"I didn't even get turned on!" Huh, think, scoff, "Huf" bangs bounce. "I didn't know, I thought there was a girl that liked me, uh! Uhn?" o7, she literally put the back of her hand to her forehead, unironically. I didn't know whether to giggle, or gasp.

"Mhm?" She can feel it pop out, that's how she knows.

"Nh?" I waited. Okay, time to process, I thought it was a pretty entertaining lie, and she's not the easiest to communicate with under the best of circumstances.

"Huh," she should drink something, "What happened?" Water cooler. "Can you give me a hand with this?" She basically picked it up, and carried it in. Set down the empty cup. "Flashback?" Doublefacepalm.

Amber, or anti-Amber, we're lucky this isn't a crater. So big, strong, vulnerable, superficially everything she wanted to affect, but not an abusive bone in her body.

Stone sober, and gritting my teeth. Need to detox before I can start all over again. Hiatus, not even diagnosing for a couple months, but she doesn't need to talk it out. "The shower?" Wince. "Sorry."

"NHNHNHNH!" I need a bigger office, or more stuff to soak up the echos, maybe some of that dampening tile, when I have money to spend again.

I turned to the door before I thought about getting up. "Uh," o7 "I can't do this any more!"

I need a gangbang. Well, maybe not need, that's what I felt like at the time. Maybe just one, or some point between those extremes. I don't even know any more, see what I can pick up at the leather bar. Relationships, I never could handle relationships. Get all the drama out of the way on the way to bed, get off... If I could get one to leave a mint on the pillow, that would be great.

I don't know what I need. And I have nobody to ask. I need help, go back for the fucking rolladex.

Meghan {fF Rape Trig Flash Virg.}

[No Swimming:] nlm.

[Dangerous Current]

PWRL! Ruth dropped me off, so I looked for my bike, then managed to get to the Riverside Park.

"HuuUH!" Reach, pull, kick, "Huh!"

Reach, kick, pull. "Huh!"

Reach, Kick, Pull.

"Huh!" On automatic, it's downhill, but rolling would be faster, of course. What does she say? "Coast." It washes my tears away, rushes through my hair, around my shoulders, under my body, between my legs...

"Nh!" Catch the breath on the next stroke, "Huh!"

Ruth didn't know. I've heard, she even admitted to it, but never had a kind word about me. She loves me, my body, my eyes, my freckles, but. That little waterfall, we got some rain, and I didn't even think about switching to baths, after I quit swim team.

"Huh!" Then she touched me. Not like that, just on the shoulder then she held me while I cried.

"Uh!" catch the next breath. It all came rushing back to me, and. God, I thought if I read her version of it, I could understand how she thinks but. "Fuck!" I breast-stroked to a coast, or half stroke to catch my breath, without the dives. What is it, a couple miles to the landing? No rapids until then, I think that's Main Street Bridge, look up, yeah, see-through grate.

"HuuuUHH!" Dive, reach, kick, pull, "Huh!" Crawl...

It hurt. God it hurt so much, I felt something break inside, and her fingers. She was more gentle after that. After she raped me. "Huh!" Kick. She showed me, the blood on my fingers, and it ran down her arm. The water hissed in the locker room, steamy, it was so close in that cell.

"Huh!" WHRL! "Huh!" WHRL! "Huh!" WHRL!...

How could I let her? She surprised me, and I didn't know. Convinced me she wanted to be my friend, be gay with me, not make me a victim. "Guh!" WHRL! Let it wash it away.

She wrote my side of it, all twisted around like Meganekko, only instead of sorting out all the conflicting feelings, she must have projected all my love on her, and all the pleasure on me. Right, Narcissistic, she's irresistible, everyone loves her, because she's awesome, in her head.

Maybe I need to rewrite it, ad back all the predatory abuse, manipulation, no first corect her lies. Tell my side of it, why should she have her say, make me out as a lovestruck puppydog crush instead of what really happened?

What really happened? What was I? Lonely, avoidant, confused, bullied. Not physically, even the boys were scared of me after I took up fencing. Maybe I should change Krav Maga back to that? No, that ruins the Semitic angle, I'd have to gut it, and start over from scratch.

But this isn't fantasy, I don't need fiction, I need to face reality, the real memory before I re-write it completely. So, backburner my literary pretentions, and face this.

She raped me. I'm her victim, then I somehow let her convince me otherwise. We weren't lovers, she didn't love me, she can't, it isn't in her, she's heartless. I didn't want to believe Maud, "No, it can't be true, she can't be." A monster, she doesn't look like a monster.

And that's another thing, she lied about her age. Always, but she wasn't underdeveloped as a freshman. Hell, I wondered how many years she must have been held back, she was more physically mature than any of the freshmen, or even some of the Juniors.

"Huh," WHRL!

How old is she, really? Dr. Maud shared some things, she looked unsure whether she should have, ethically.

"Ha!" WHRL...

Not her records, but the diagnosis of said hystery. Kind of hard to follow, changing names with each adoption, foster home, children's services. Shake a random image of Tilda Swinton out of my head. Missed a stroke, so "Huh!" Breast, WHRL! Crawl, "Huh!"

I get more breath out of the Breast Stroke, but it wears me out too fast. The crawl is more efficient, but I find that I can't actually sustain it, and cry at the same time, so I roll out of the next stroke, reach back. "Huh huh huh..." Not like I was paying attention to where I was going anyway.

Made it out of town. Not downtown, but her office is downstream from it, and I tread water for stability when I get to the mouth of the tributary. It's a creek, really, but it's been raining, and I've never seen the banks so low. Nor it, from this angle, we usually pedaled, or drove over that bridge. Thought about trying this before, and I was right, it's a hell of a workout!

Roll back, "Huh!" reach back, pull, "huH!" kick, reach back...

"Shit!" Ruth's pickup car, flip under, and turn, nothing to kick, get over, wow. Underestimated how fast it is, after a rain. Good thing I didn't try this from the dam. "Huh, huh." Grab a root, and swing out to the bank. "WHUH!"

Yeah, maybe work up to swimming clear through town. Catch your breath. "HhHhHhH!" Shiver a little, it feels like shock, stretch, breathe. I've still got the hike back up to the campsite to go.

"Huh huh huh!" Stop, and catch my breath on the hood. Locked, of course, I saw the steering wheel, and dash, not the radio. I remembered that song she played for me. "But look at yourself" my voice cracked, "You'll see you're still so young!.." {EC - All Grown up (MLAR)}

;

Mega {it???}

"Whacha writing?"

That guy, "Larry?" Used to be a girl. Short, emo, bygones. "A fantasy. You know, when me and Amber were going out?" Maybe a little Tourettes?

"Yeah." Conflicted.

"It helps me think, projecting it onto characters, the degree of separation."

"You mind?" I shook my head, and let him have it.

Wondered how much he'd be able to follow, "When'd you start hanging out down here?" How's he getting back, pedaling all the way up That road?

"Hiano," he shrugs, "Two Megans?" He giggles.

"I can separate, huh my experiences between them."

"Uhuh?" He grins, and flips to the second page. "Hm. Clean this up and you might could publish it." He talks, and reads at the same time. Sinks down, pulls out his cigarettes, and a lighter, swings his hair out of his eyes. Smiles. "Romantic?"

"With the way, she."

"She sexualized you," He looked up, nodded seriously. "Took advantage of your innocense." I took his word for it. He looked back down. It was weird, watching him grow. I mean, I'd seen people grow before, kids, but it was weird how he did it. Might not be done yet, really rather androgynous. "I'd have to proofread it, of course. The one Megan, her English should be a lot better, might help sort them out too."

"Right?" He gets it! Amber liked to think of herself as a writer. "You still staying with Maud?" He nods, "If you want to borrow it, I'll get back to you." Just jumps on his little 20" and rides off. I've got plenty more, but this was the latest, and most complete. Closest to, something, I don't know how to write about yet.

"Huh," I shake my head, "Uhahahahaha!"

Larry {ti NS}

She didn't race me home. Good idea, smart but hides it well. In group, everyone looks at her, but she doesn't say much. Terrified of Amber, whom I don't know much beyond Anhedonic Nymphomaniac, and how does that even work? Maud has so far failed to explain it to me. So maybe pick her out of here, but it's already looking like she displaced all that aggressive sexuality on the older one. Trying to wrap her head around that one?

And Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. Looked it up, consulted my endochrinologist, way over my head. Side effects of prenatal Aldosterone may include clitoral hypertophy, even micro-phallus! And she's gay. Identified as, anyway, all these gender things even without sexuality thrown in, "Huh!" Catch my breath.

Keep reading, and try to keep in mind how it actually happened. Raped in the shower with her fingers on the second date, how romantic! I'm not in denial, so I pick my battles. I like how the cooking, and everything ties in. She loves to cook, for nutrition or at least talks about it. Might be the only way she can eat. Near anorexic, I know what that's like, or Exercise Bulemic. I wonder what her home's like? She's never talked about it. All this compartmentalization is overloading my capacity to keep track, so I set it down on the coffee table, go out back, pull out the loose brick over the cinder-block, for 'Bert's stash. He doesn't keep it, he comes in to self-medicate.

I take a good sip, hold it in until I cough, and head back in the garage. Monsterous self image issues. Nothing triggering, but the big gorilla in the room. I guess, breathing down her neck. Or Hem. I guess if I had to pick a pronoun, it would be Hem to Maud's hir. Herm? Thing is, I think I want to be a boy, but what if that's too far? Or I can't get that, idolized image, and settle for less. I grab my pants, and flaunt it.

She's not manly, she's tall, and strong, and may have some clitoral hypertrophy. I have that, maybe not like hers, but she's gay, right? And Amber's banned from Group, with Bert, I guess. Bert, and Amber, I can actually see that. He needs her, about now, I'd bet. Rebounding from that afternoon with Maud. I wonder if she's going to get her bike or coming straight here? It's a long way, either way, but I've never seen her take the bus. Seen her on her bike too, just not chasing her on that without a motor.

Wonder where she got the Gary character? Might have to ask. Mmm, Mirrorshades. I took it in the spare room (With Ruth moved out to her studio/camp) Did the search, not the Age of Consent, got that but, Molly Millions. Self image, or potential self image, what kinds of nails does she have? Hm, Neuromancer, Burning Chrome. Bookmark those. "Cyberpunk?" I had wondered.

<<<< [Clitoral] It finished for me, from memory. (Click]

Image search, all the wonderful shapes and sizes of genital deformity. Most of them were not appealing. "Mh!" With exceptions. Close that out, head back downstairs. Some of those were madeup sites, didn't mention Suicidegirls. Left out Goatse, Tubgirl, right. Manga. Manga girl, Meganekko. Maud's secondary office, I pulled out drawers until I found a pair of reading glasses. I flipped open the notebook, peered over them to read. Check. "Huha!"

Yeah, I can do this, I wonder who's gonna lead?

Mega {it Nude NS. I Solo.}

Right, up here. Been a few times, for the barbie que, and the like. It's a climb out of the gorge. "The Heights..." of something something. Plateaus after that into surburban, and semi-rural to seasonal desert. "Huh!" Hydrate. Dirt road to the trail, and the BMX jumps down in the Arroyo. Should've paced myself, and stopped at that gas station for another bottle. I filled it at the spigot, and wiped my face with my wet hand, caught my breath. Now, I may be a little slow some-times, but I had plenty of time to think, and I hope he knows how to lead. Him, I can call him that with that little peach-fuzz, and unnaturally cracking voice. No idea why a girl would want to do that to herself on purpose.

"Mega?" the garage door opened. I hope I never get tired of being called that.

"Mhm?" I looked around the side.

"Come on," he waved his hands, and dropped the remote on top of a file cabinet on the way in. By the back door, the garage rolled closed behind me. She has a nice yard, lots of shade in the afternoon. "Cyberpunk?"

"What about it?" I shook my head.

"Is that what you are?"

"Um," don't think that's an actual subculture, "Yeah, I guess that would be cool."

"You mind?" He tries on my shades, and grins, I giggle.

"They're, well actually, they are shaped right for, hm." He has a jawline. Not quite corners, but an obtuse angle. He nods, sits down. Picks up his cigarettes. Upwind, okay, it's still pretty hot back here. "Huh!" Okay, don't just hold your hands together between your thighs, or jerk up awkwardly.

"Relax," hand up.

"What do I." I shiver.

"Nothing, just breathe, good. Huh, okay we don't have to do anything but we don't need to keep avoiding each other, eIther." I don't know the difference between Either, and eIther. "Let's just talk, you feel better?" Well it feels like Shock, actually. "I like your story. There, I said it, wouldn't change a thing except maybe tack on an ending, and fix their names," and a whole lot of grammar.

"Self image."

"Huhah?"

I giggled, "I, uh, why can't I even talk about this? I get it, I know I'm incredibly attractive but why can't I just Feel it?"

"Attractive?" Smiles, and looks up, "Well this is going to sound incredibly conceited, but maybe you haven't heard it from the right person?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're gay, right? Right, but you're not a girl. You're not a guy, neither, but you have to accept, and feel attractive about all of you. That's why you don't feel sexy, you don't understand your sex. You're unique, so you should probably define that identity."

"You don't," I realized, "Look at me like that." I mean, he looks at me, but in the face. Up to me, obviously, but I never catch him, out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm a spandex girl, I am. It's comfortable. Drape something over it so I don't have them snapping at my heels, but you're saying I have to accept my gender?" Maud told me.

"No, you have to know what you're accepting. Look at it, come on, you look in the mirror?"

"Sometimes," brush my hair out of my eyes. He takes the shades off, and tucks them in the front of his shirt.

"Close the," Patio door, right. Blasting with air conditioning, it's like hitting the water from the starting platform.

That's a lot of mirror. 2 of them, I laugh, and point at "The closet!"

"Heha!" He nods, "To form a self image it helps to first see it in front of you. There, that's what you have to work with. Now," He taps me on the shoulder, and I step back from him, naked behind me. "Calm down, this is anatomical, not sexual." Stands up in front of the mirror, "See?"

I looked. He was short, not very hairy, but up front. Nothing really hanging down.

"So?" he didn't flex, or anything.

"So, try it." He stepped out of the way.

"Naked?" I shook my head.

"Clothing's optional, but you can change that. Look at your body, so yeah. Start with your face. Tuck that overbang back out of your eyes, and look at yourself. Now, look past all that you're used to looking at in disgust, and see what everyone else does. Not the sexiness, backburner."

"Byegones."

"Byegones!" He pumps his hand theatricly, is that a skull? He sat on the end of the bed. The corner, just rested his elbows on his knees. And watched me, I pulled my sports bra off, and looked over from his reflection to me.

Yeah, I don't get it. My nose, my freckles, my mouth, my chin, my neck, my shoulders. "Uh!" Look away.

"Got that, then the other stuff."

"Huh!" Wipe my eyes, sniff. My eyes. My eyebrows too, they're the same color. I know this, but my cheeks. "Nh!" sniff, and wipe my nose. It still looks like a shield. The shape of the bottom of my face, I always thought so.

"Your body." It's just so long, and skinny. I can see bones sticking out, and skin stretched between them. "Look," he stood up, and turned me around. "Uh," got up on the bed. Standing on his knees, but higher. Not quite up to my eyes. "God you're tanned. Uh." looks up. "Look at me too. No, my body. God, it feels so gay!"

"Nhn?"

"Heha!" He didn't cover his mouth.

We weren't the same, he didn't have anything on his chest but a few hairs here, and there. Not like bare ribs or nothing, but not really muscle, either. "Gynecomastia." He slipped a couple fingertips up a nipple. Her nipple, in the exact center of where her boobs would be. "Prolapsed a bit. You mind?" I looked down, shook my head. "Yeah, huh!" Felt him feel it. Child's hands, a little boys' I guessed. "You want to go first?"

"Huh?" I shook my head.

"There's only so much we can, both check each-other out. Without some complex topological maneuvers."

"Nerd!" I snorted, and laughed.

"No, don't cover your smile." He held my hand. "You want to check me out first?"

I thought, nodded, "Nyeah, uh no, I."

"Lay down, relax." I went around beside her.

"Like this?" on my front, I crossed my arms under my chin.

"Ooh," I closed my eyes, "God I love your back. If I had to pick a favorite, so far, it's" She touched me, "Uhhhh, God I love your back!" she didn't affect that Bert laugh. She giggled, she was giddy as a schoolgirl, and I started laughing too. Still hard to imagine him, like that, and I'd seen pictures. Looked like his mopey little sister. "Oh good, you're tense." No idea how to give a back rub, and I mean not a clue. I let him, I liked it. No, he was feeling around, getting used to it. Like Ruth touching one of her statues. Nodding, not shaving, or melting it, going back to erase, but liking it.

"You're not a boy, either."

"Futanari," I almost threw him off turning over.

"Right?"

"Maybe some day," He looked down. So did I. Hairy. I looked away, "Here," he grabbed a mirror from the side table. "Look." Dragged my legs around, and got on with me, legs up between mine. "Go ahead," he waved, "Look."

"Uh!" all wrinkly, and.

"The other stuff."

I looked, "But there is no other stuff, it's all."

"So," I looked up, "Look at mine, instead."

"Okay?"

"Not too much different, both virilyzed females, but you're congenital, while I'm pubertal, but it's not gonna get much gayer than this, for either of us." Runon. "Not plausibly."

"Okay?" I looked back down, tilted the mirror. They don't look the same, Ruth says ever girl is a unique flower, or something. She's not a poet, neither am I, but I'm not that bad.

"Now get out of your head," my eyes kind of focused on his. Bangs tucked back behind his ear, why they're asymmetrical like that. "Do you touch yourself?"

"I try," she shrugs, "I'm not as good with my hands,"

"Ruths' not here, and don't let her in your mind. Seriously, she'll, huh!" Roll my eyes. "I don't get co-dependence. I don't understand a lot of things but that's one, that one baffles me." There, she said it.

"Me neither," I shake my head, "If I did, maybe, I don't know."

"You blame yourself. If there's something wrong, you bet Meghan did it. Those two girlfriends," He makes a face, "Feh! I don't know how you can keep coming back for it."

"I wish I could, stop."

"Turn it around, put up a mirror, or something. Filter out all the good stuff you see in them, and take a good long critical look at what you're denying. Or, look at yourself, look at me, and backburner all that."

"Can you lead?" I can't.

"I never have," he got up, "But deal with your gender first, we'll get to sex." He went out, I heard him heading upstairs, naked. But I saw the mirror, got up, and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Huh!" I stopped, looking at myself like this when all this started. Precocious puberty too, wouldn't you know it? That's when everyone started staring at me. But i never seen what they saw, and how did she put it? Put it away, all the stuff sticking out, what's between my shoulders? Below my neck? I look back, reach over my shoulder to pull the corner of the dresser mirror, but this is awkward.

"No," it got awkward, but the way I just did that. I just do, stuff like that. Imagine Larry trying that, or climbing up on the dresser to get his fingers over the top of the mirror. I shook my head, Ruth called me graceful, but I can't see myself do that. I feel it in the water, but out in the air, where everyone can see me?

Huh, the closet. Door. Opens this way, toward the dresser. "Yeah," reach back. "Mhm?" Straighten out my back, reach out, spreading it the way I did. No, my arms were up like this, but, my triceps pop better behind my neck, and.

(*)!

I blinked. Looked down, in the mirror, got my pants out of the way, even though I could feel them. Looked at it. "Huh!" turned to the bed, the hand mirror, over bye the pillows. "Huhokay." Felt like homework all a sudden.

Lets see, I used to, the 1 time I got off by myself I. No, even before she sent me that underwear video, she gave me that lap-dance in my room, and after she left. That had to be the first time I felt this turned on.

So, I did that. Just rubbed the front, with my fingers over it, and ground my palm into my pubis mons. "huhH!" It rubbed around in my palm now, and felt so intense! It didn't feel like this, Larry's different, how? I mean other than being a little hispanic emo boy with a. How did he, I never saw him. He just held his legs open and showed me, without covering it with his hands.

He's right upstairs! "Uh,..

Larry {it ???}

Larry?" I [x]ed out the pictures, mental note to clear History. Clitoral Hypertophy image search, can't say it was purely anatomical curiosity, but I hoped she got turned on before it went away.

"Uhuh?" I'd gone back down, and peeked around the wall. She had the hand mirror out again, her knees up, akimbo.

"Uh!" She didn't roll her eyes, "You think you can," 'hn.' She breathed out her nose, and took another, "hH! Give me a hand with this?"

"Huhah!" I pushed off the door jam, and shut it behind me. Not really modest, covered up because people looked at her, and it made her uncomfortable. "Huh," she didn't look uncomfortable. Biker tan, shorts, sports bra, flush spread across the chest, nipples prolapsed. They poke in when erect, in the center, or the areolae puffed out around them, and pinched her small swells into cones. Just like that, when I touched them, a few moments before. "You just have to ask." I put my knee up, and climbed on the bed. "You ever, climax before?"

She shook her head, stopped, thought, "What does it feel like?" I.

"There's no words," I chuckled, "Uh well, there's orgasm, cum, climax, release, but those don't really,"

"Release," she nodded.

"You mind?" she nodded more excitedly, and smiled. I took that as a 'no, I don't mind' implicitly. She nods her head no, and shakes it yes, or maybe sometimes. "I only ever felt a clitoral orgasm." I rubbed around. She was hard, but it bent back, and forth, like a switch. "Hm! Uh, on account of being a virgin" and not having a prostate. Backburner, work our way up to that, maybe, later. Shake my head, "Uh."

"Hhmn!" She looked dreamy, and licked her lips.

"Different girls are different, but I." She hunched a little, from me pinching her to slip the skin back. "Oh! NihnhnH!"

"What?"

"Oh I'm not laughing at you deary." God, I sounded like a schoolmarm, "It's just. So cute?" She smiled, good. Genital issues, but she hadn't emotionally invested in, "Right," duh. "Your clitorus is fused, like a glans," on a guy, "Except for the urethra." I felt around in the folds. Not a shaft, really, more like a little stump.

"Huh!" She hunched again from me pulling the skin tight, and feeling around in there with the tip of my pinky. Nope, all the way down to her utter lack of a hymen, I blinked away that nightmare shower, how do you ever feel clean after that?

"What?" I shook my head.

"Hypospadias?" I felt, bent, tasted it. Yup!

"What's that?" In the corner? Okay, on a guy you got the soft ridge on the bottom where the urethra is in front of the horseshoe shaped tube of erectile tissue.

"Sorry, I uh, jerk off to Web MD." She giggles. "How do you piss," I looked at it, "Standing up?"

She shook her head, "I have to sit down, and clean it out real good." With it buried in the split down the bottom of hir, ? "We'll have to come up with our own words for it." Even hard like this, it must be messy when she's not all turned on.

"Hm!" She nods, closes her eyes, and sucks in a lip. "Hnh!" I gave her a few strokes, pinching the skin the way I do, but 1: I don't have that, I wish my clitorus were that phallic, but it's more like a {^} with a little stump under it. Splits all the way up to the cleft flattened head. And B: She's not like me, so let's figure out how she likes pleasure. I heard the door, didn't look back. Sounded like the kitchen, something heavy clunking down on the counter. "It's okay," I rub her thighs. "Uhn! Oh god, okay. I wasn't lying about your back, but you know you have fantastic legs?" She shook her head, thought, then nodded. "Well," Now I rubbed her between my fingers, "Now this is my favorite part."

"Nhn!"

"Larry?" I sighed and got up.

"Hold that thought," but she looked busy, and smelled. Well, she smelled fantastic. "Sorry," I went through the bathroom, "I was in the middle of something." She looked down, sniffed.

"How's the Virogel working?" she turned back, and kept unpacking the bag.

"Hn," out my nose, "Backburner that, can you handle dinner? I kinda need to get back."

"What're you in the middle of?"

"Meghan."

"Oh," she laughed, "Finally! Ahah! Go on!" She "Shew!"ed with both hands, and a couple cans of soup.

Meghan {it ???}

"Uh!" I couldn't stop grunting! It always kinda annoyed me, whenever, someone was, trying to be sexy with me. But I can't help it! "Uh!" He pulled on me, just like Ruth. Not pinching my fingers around it like this, but just 1 and the thumb. I like how it slips between my middle fingers like this, and licked them again.

"HihihnhN!" I covered my mouth, then giggled again when I remembered Gloria do that. He doesn't any more, but she used to, when I first saw her, in meeting. "Huh!" I guess, I never even really thought about it, because he's a boy, and I always thought I was a lesbian. Oh, the irony.

"Good, still simmering?" I nodded, and moved my hands. He came out of the bathroom, and seemed so, comfortable? I don't know, he was naked, walked out and talked to Dr. Maud between cans hitting the counter, but yeah. I wish I could be that comfortable with my body.

He climbed back on, "No," looked up, "Can you turn around, so I can see you?" He nodded, and I scooted over for his legs. Skinny, boney, hairy, but they were fine, like the ones on my arms that let me feel the water. Telltails.

"What?" I rubbed them.

"Nothing," I shook my head, and he straightened out his leg next to me. Harrier, I petted up to the front, and felt the little bulge through it. Rolled my fingertips through it deep enough to feel the bone, and. "Huh!" {*}, or rather, {^}.

"Hm!" It split open, like Ambers, but where she had a little, I don't know, like half a canoe? It was like a fold, between the folds, and never got hard, even when it was twitching against my thumb. "Hmmmh," He sighed, and smiled. Eyes closed, but I could feel it. The wrinkles rolling back, just like when mine peaked out, the few times I was aroused. Not, this turned on, I almost felt drunk, or something. I don't know about drugs, other than steroids they don't help my performance, and the last thing I need is more hormones. I rubbed myself with my other hand, and felt down to the dampness. I was wet, I was getting wet!

"You're a virgin?" He moved, pushed my finger out of the way.

"Mh, sorry. Yeah, uh. That's a turn-off for me. Gender issues, I. Huh, it means I'm not a girl, but if you want to feel inside me," he chucked his head, "A little lower." He rolled toward me on his but, and the cheeks parted a little. He wasn't hairy down there, at all.

"Ew!" Covered my mouth, "You mean?" Smelled my fingers...

"Hehuha!" He shook his head, "Sorry. You're gay, or you identify as gay, but I'm also a boy. Or something like that, so yeah. If I'm gonna fuck, I wanna fuck like a fag."

"Larry!" I slapped his leg playfully.

"It's all right," he blew through his nose, "Hn, I know what they mean by it, but I take it as a compliment. I don't want to be a big aggressive violent Power Asserter. I want to stay sensitive, empathic, caring, more like, you know, a Fag?"

I think I got it. "Like Ruth calls herself a Dyke." Even though she's gone way beyond that. To an abortion, so far.

"Yeah, but," he shook his head, "Otherwise not like Ruth at all. The main thing is I don't want to be the kind of guy which has Victims." I thought about it, "So, you want to talk about it, or do you want to get off some time before dinner?" I giggled, but he got his answer, and touched me again. "May I?" he felt down around my wetness. I nodded, and closed my eyes.

"Hm!" Tiny hard little fingers, but gently. He felt around first, and spread my lube around the opening like Ambers' spit. But he didn't just shove it in there like her. "Nh!" Well, maybe just a little, I can feel his nuckle, and "Uh!" Feeling around in there.

"Smwip!" I hunched with another grunt, but god that felt so intense!

"Nyh," or something likeat. Like he says, there's no words, so we have to make them up. I felt his straight short black emo hair, except the bangs. Those were purple on the ends, this week, and looked burned out by all the bleachings. I wonder if I could get him to cut them, "Uh!" He felt around in there, and when did he get up to 2 fingers? Up at the top, I could feel the back of the bone, his fingers, and, "Nhn!" A little twitch inside. A little, thing I didn't know I had in there, squishing, and squirting, and a thick bulge peeing out like a snake swallowing a rabbit. "Uh," another, and "Nh!" A tear squeezed out, and ran down the side of my nose, "Uh, huh," I caught my breath, and looked down.

God, it stank in there, and I think the mood went away, but WTF? He smiled, and held out his finger. A little drop on the end, not white, but kind of a cloudy yellowish off white, and.

"Uh, did you. Did i," Roll my eyes, "Did you get that out of me?" I held his hand up, and sniffed it. Didn't smell like nothing, but it tasted a little like pee. Had this weird aftertaste, not at all familiar, but I liked it. "I cummed!"

"Hehuha!" He grinned, but his lips relaxed against mine, and parted to slip his tongue up the middle.

"HUH!" He held my legs, but my abdomen flexed so hard I almost did a situp! Almost painful, but just as intense as the first time her finger bumped it, still stuck in the skin.

"Mm!" He smiled, and licked his lips.

"HhihihN?"

Maud {Tit Nude NS}

"Oh!" I looked away "Uh, Meghan." Shook the saute' for absolutely no reason other than not look at her. "Uhm."

"You got any scissors?" I pulled out a drawer.

"What for?" Poultry shears, box cutter, sharpening steel...

"Hair, uhm. Bangs?" I nodded, she tucked her hair behind her ear, on the short side. Honestly, why it took so long for them to see each other is beyond me. Denial, distractions, probably a combination of both.

"Upstairs, Bathroom drawer, by the sink."

She dipped a finger, "Swuip?" Thought. "More pepper?" I grabbed the tasting spoon out of the sink, and tried it. Didn't watch her wander off, stark naked, not a hair below the lashes besides the "Teltails" on her arms. Muscular bottom... Okay, I admit, I'm a little jealous, but I didn't bury it away until it rotted, and started seeping out. Or give it a playful pat. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.

"What's cookin'?" Larry adjusted his orthotic, and looked satisfied with himself.

'Did you,' I whispered, 'Did she?'

He dropped the sign for G like a gangster, straightened up, and laughed.

"Set the table, sweety," I took the lid off, and checked the temp. "It'll be a few more minutes." He shrugged, went up to his room. Came back down with his bangs cut off, and spiked up in front, to where the roots had grown out. Meghan took a shower, and came down with them wet, cut flat above her eyebrows. Her matching eyebrows, and eyes. I never noticed before, she avoided eye contact too, but I had to admit she looked more comfortable with herself. "Hungry?"

She nodded excitedly, "Starving!"

"Oh!" She kissed him! "Put some clothes on, dear." I carried it out to the table.

Meghan {IT Les?}

I got to spend the night. /!\ Spread in front of me, my legs over hes? "Pronoun?" ? "Possessive?"

"Hes'." Rhymes with Chess. We both nod. I reach out, forget to ask, but my fingers are shaking. "hMh." He hardens on my shaking fingertip.

"Does yours pop?" Some skin peeled back on top, but I couldn't feel it underneath. "Out, when I get turned on," I look down, "Whell usually I feel it pop out." He shakes his head. I step down, "Here, turn out this way, lean back. "Hm." /^\ Pull it apart with my thumbs, "Where does the pee come out?"

"Oh," he feels down, "Here." A little hole, "If I hold my finger here, I can pee standing up, but my aim sucks, and I still have to wipe." She has a hole, sort of. There's more skin, and even pulled wide open by both my thumbs, and hes fingers, I can't get my tongue in that far. "Uh!" He pushes my forehead.

"It's okay, I'm shallow too. You want to feel my cervix? Well I love this, it's uh, a part of you? I want to feel this too. And you taste good."

"Really?"

I nod, lying, "Let me stir the pot for you a little so you can see." Nothing but spit yet, but Ruth is a very good teacher. I know him, but this was she. Overgrown as it is, I know a clitorus when I see one, or I can pick one out of a lineup. By now, I can even hack one. "Or, rl!"

"Nh!" Right up the middle, then back down. All the way up, still nothing but spit, but if he menstrated at some point, she can have a taste. I hope. Like more than sweat, not much in this refridgerated house. Up in hes room, I guess. "Nh!"

Can't really get a seal, to suck. That would be neat, but "Swp!"

"Unh!" Okay, backhand, my cowlick twisting around in his palm. "nH!" Almost a squeel. Another dip, and, ooh! A little deeper, yes, some natural fluids, a little more spit. Back up to, "un!" Girly little grunt. Hump/hunching, narrow little hips, but broad strong feeling hands.

Mash it with my flat tongue, teeth behind it, he can't stop pushing it hard in, so I smile, curl up the side, and stick out the tip.

"MhH!" He holds his breath. Or he did this time, I tried it too, so I don't moan, or scream, "UH!" Or grunt, but that was loud, and oh god his sweaty curls smell so nice. I lick them, lap them, his knees pinching in, calves over my shoulders on the side of his little single. "Huh, huh heh!" He pats my head.

"Here," U pull him up, kiss him. "No, lick my lips. Smw? Yeah, see?" I gently brushed her tender spot, and held it up. "You taste wonderful."

;

Megan {iT Anal Ling Fing Cunn Hyme.}

"You want to fing me?" She sighs. It's okay, he doesn't mind.

"Smwp?" I look up, "Hihihinh?"

"It's a pun," he nods, "What else does a finger do?"

"Sounds in tense." You don't technically finger someone, that would make the fingerer even fingererer. "Nhihin!"

"Teheha! Cum on," she sighs and rolls over on his shoulder. "You beat around the bush enough. I know, whenever you're ready, but d'you mind?"

I procrastinate. Not stuff like diet, exercise, homework, pretty much just this. Sexy stuff. But I ain't getting no younger, so I take the glove, and the lube. We compromise, she'll let me pop her cherry just as soon as my tongue is strong enough, he knows the best cure for menstral cramps, and I mean red-wings, crippling menstral cramps.

"Huh!" I hold up my hand, show the gaps stretched between my fingers.

"Huhah!" She covers his mouth. Hubert's no role model, "Same size." Though he was nice enough to take my psycho ex off my hands. He hands me another one. A little loose around the fingers, actually. I have to figure out the cap, finally use my teeth on the little tab for lack of nails. We do each-others, it's sweet. I can't pick up a dime any more, on a flat enough surface.

"Smwuip!"

"Aha!" And his mustache tickles. Stopped waxing mine, and shaving everything else. Well, not everything else, we compromise. Just brushing the sensitive motte, around the wrinkles at the base of my spire, with the skin stretched back with his lips, and teeth. "Hn!" He's more gentle now, and settling his flat body on my convex one.

"Smwip!" I feel up from there with the clingy tacky greasy tip, and twist my fingertip back, and forth. There, he grunts, and shifts down a little. Deeper, lapping down my priapussy, to taste me, again. I'm wet enough to spare a few drops. There. The radiating wrincles, and the soft spot. I dig my tongue into the other one, and he moans into me, but doesn't stop.

"Hnnnn!" Take a breath, longer deeper ones, I can't gasp through my nose. But I don't smell any filth, fresh from the shower, impeccable, as always. Lower, my neck won't bend that far, but he's squirming against my finger. "Nhihihn!" I get it, again. "Nihehah!"

"Uh!" He squeezes my glutes. "Pwrq."

"Nh? Well that's an interesting sensation?"

(*)

).(

:{p

"Nhnhn!" I push his jaw, I think. AWAY!

Pop! "Hhn!" He relaxes. I wiggle, a little, and pull out for another drop of lube. I have to reach up, between us, and his legs.

"It just tickles." Maud calls me a Functional Mute, like Gibbs. {NCIS}

"Smq," another peck on the.

"Hh." Anus, Buttholle (2nd semester German) Sphincter, "Nh!" Okay, cantilever up these long things, and spread 'em.

'Rosebud,' he breathes on it. "Hwalq!"

"Nhihin!"

"Uh!" Relaxes. Okay, knuckle. Bone's connected to the my fingertip, connected to the glovetip connected to the greasy gell connected to. "Uh!"

"You okay?"

'Hunh, yeah. Huh huh, I can take,' "nH! I want more."

Pop it back out, and in, and out again. Check the checklist, don't drive the whole pinky up in there like a logtruck, but get past the knuckle, and move over to the next fingertip.

"Nh!" He sighs, and relaxes. "Mnlawm!" God, I wish I could bend over enough to dive into her like that again, but,

"Nh, uh!" God, it was like being a virgin again. Okay, now I get 'Mostly Virgin.' I'm not, I don't think, maybe there's more to go I don't know about, but it isn't too bad. "uH!" I want to hold his head, push his tongue into me harder than he can with just his neck, but I can't reach around both of us to. "Uh, God!"

"You okay?" I could hear him lick his lips. "Nlah!"

"Yeah, uh, it just got intense. Uh, huh, you think you can go back up. Uhn! YN!" He crabs his fingers up, and pulls me open for another tongue-dive, and starts swimming around.

"Hm!" I wiggle my fingertip around, and swipe my thumb around in there like a paintbrush on a flat. More lube, the thumb's a big step up, but then I didn't have trouble getting in to my 2nd knuckle on my longest finger so, "Nh nyh yeah ahn!" 2 fingers, goatse, and a blowjob. Yup, "AhnhNhHN!" I can't breathe, and my hips are bucking, so I slip my finger out, but he hooks in, and rides it out. No concept of time, but it felt like>8 seconds.

"Hihn hih hiiih hihihihn!" I start giggling, but it feels delicious. Him grinning, and slipping down. To that dark dirty place, where the sun don't shine, and "NihaHAH!" It tickles!

He gets off, and turns around beside me. To well, get off! I owe him, still twitching inside, and trying to catch my breath. Right, thumb, get it nice and buttered up. He puts his leg up, and I turn to get my nose out of the way, open my smile, and let my tongue out to lap in his priapuss, and take a deep breath.

"SNNNNnnnnni!" This damned thing in the way, I want to smell her taste her, so I run my tongue flat up her curls, and get a nice mouthful of sweat. Nicely seasoned sexy sweat, I swear I can taste herm hormones.

Oh yeah, he stopped suppressing hers. Hormones, I mean, never got her gonads pulled, and decided that being a man isn't really in herm. Or all of herm.

Herm, as in hermaphrodite, or Hermes? Herma for me, feminine suffix, but fast. My shoes have wings on them, they're pink!

So, let's see how that works out. Later. "Swuip!" Ew, this lube tastes nasty!

"niheHAh!" I move back down to her soft spot, and feel up to his. I lever the nail in first, so it doesn't catch the other way, even through the glove.

Her priapuss keeps bucking out of my lips, and doesn't that hurt? It sounds kinda like it hurts, but he's got nothing but encouragement for me. "Uhn Nuh yeah. No more, auH!" Okay? Uhm. Yeah! "Nh, fuck me, mnh, yh, ah! Deeperharderfaster..." And I can do that.

"Uh!" I look down at how big his eyes have gotten. Wow, he's red, and his mouth is wide open as if to scream. 'uh?' Nothing, no twitches around my thumb, he just falls back, completely relaxed, and I mean COMPLETELY relaxed! 'Hh uhh huh Huh HUH, HN!"

Okay, NOW he's twitching! "Hm?" Tight around my thumb, but just the bottom, where it sticks into him. Him. "Fag!" I laugh. I feel him laughing around my thumb.

;

Maud {TM/H Anal/lyst.}

"uH!" I sat up to look over his shoulder. Didn't sound like any of his grunts.

"Meghan?" I pulled out quickly.

"Sorry? She looked stunned. "Walking away," hand up, in the mirror to hide anything, unfortunate.

"Go on," he replaced my reach-around.

"Meghan!" I through on my robe, and caught her almost climbing on her recliner bike. "Let's talk about it."

"Huh!" she set it back against the fence. "All right."

"I know it's."

"I'm fine with whatever you'n Bert are into, but." She shook her head in disgust.

"Sorry you had to see that."

"Oh, it's just the." Even nastier face, "Male, parts. All that, ugh!"

"Have a seat," I picked up our pack.

"You mind?" She shook her head. I looked down, and put them back on the table. "Thanks."

"What about the,"

"Anal?" she shrugged, "Oh, I got over that with Larry." ! "I know, right? I thought it would be. Well, he showed me, I reacually like the way his tongue feels, nhinh! and we wash real good first but, I can't. I'm still not." She looked down. At her crotch, or the general direction. "Huh, ironicly enough I used to hate it. How it stuck out, identifying as a girl, but. You think I might be maybe a little transexual?"

"You're intersex," Still legally a boy due to a clerical error, "That trumps gender disphoria."

"Yeah that. Huh! I guess I was dis,.."

"Phoric."

"Yeah, when I thought I was a girl. Who knew that was my problem the whole time?" I'm so glad she finally learned to share her thoughts. "Now we're Hermaphrodites, so I don't have to affect that norm, so would it be possible to get on Hormones too?"

"Androgens?" she nodded, "For Clitoral Megaly?"

"Uhuh? Only it's for Microphallus, we're calling it a Priapuss now."

Actually, it's pronounced, "Oh!" I got it, "Ahahahahah!"

"~Larry."

"So you're doing,.."

"Anal?" She shook her head, "Not any more, since she's not a virgin, and I can reach her Prostate. I mean,"

"Actually," I laughed, "It's the same gland as the prostate in men." Only with the guiche in the way, "You took her virginity?"

She grinned, "Uhuh!" sideways, "That's another thing, he realized who she saved it for."

"Gloria?"

"And Ruth." She nodded.

"Well, regardless of what you horny teenagers have been up to, it does my heart proud to see you so confident, and self assured."

"Thank Larry," she giggled musically, "I know I do."

I felt better too, after the fear of having to do anything therapeudic for her, or hir. "Pronoun?"

#2? I nodded, "Herm."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Thanks." She got up, "I mean thank you." She kissed my cheek when I stood up. "I might need to talk some more when you're done with 'Bert, but where's Larry?"

"Um, I think he's either at the Park, or the Arroyo. Probably the park, since he broke up with Curt." Couldn't handle it as well as he thought. "What about?"

"I need to confront Amber," she ran off.

I went back in, and saw 'Burt was still willing. "Now," I climbed on, "Where was I?"

He closed his eyes, 'inside me,' and sighed. I grabbed another rubber, and turned back to him. FAP! "Hn! Hhhhh!" I rubbed my hand on the cheek, and pulled back for another swat, already starting to stiffen him again, then reached around for the handle.

I frotted his greasy crack a while, then he squeezed me, and spurted into my hand as soon as I was back inside him. I didn't even have to fuck him, just jerk him off. The first man I loved enough to do this, and stay aroused, because it was about love for him. Having Me inside him. He capitalizes Hir.

"Ngh!" He milked me into the condom, and licked my fingers when we're done. Next time would be my turn!

MEGA {Tf NS Prof Viol}

Where else would she go? We're all back up with Maud, leaving the 2 Emotional Abusers to rebound to. Nobody announced the couple, but going through the rest of the story, you can pretty much see their process. Of elimination. Chalk it up to Denial, or hating what you see in the mirror, the manuscript's already on the way to the publisher.

Closure. Or if you prefer, unfinished business.

Now, I'm no psychologist, I just know them. Took a little time with a Analist, Power Asserter, to find love, and sexuality to understand them, but I remember, all of it. Got it written down.

My problem is I can never think what to say at the time. I have to think, get back to you. In another age I'd send you a letter, most of my friends talk to me via text, if we're hanging out, we're doing something, otherwise I'm on the move, or enjoying downtime. At most someone else we understand, each other, occasionally both. The rest are just boys, and girls.

I miss Ruth, but you can't change the past, can change the future, and know the difference between. Looking ahead, I braked, crossed to the outside of the curve, dropped both front gears, and swung around the fence. Dirt, rocks, old washes they hadn't repaired out of season, but it was all downhill, into the Gorge. Might be nice to see Ruth again. Say hi, catch up, and leave her. Again.

Take it slow, catch my breath, try not to get bounced out of my seat. Hiracer, no belts, on a wheel-stop, I can stall the front pedals, superman, and endo-to-faceplant with the 6' steel frame tumbling like a rabbit stick over me. No-thanks, don't want to get hurt this trip, much less get started without her. HER. Whoever she is.

Okay, some training, Akido isn't modified Brazilian Juijitzu, but their common ancestor should make them about as easy to avoid, and no matter how old she is, she's no Master. She can't climb out of here on a bike, or catch me. If she does, I'm a tangle of limbs, joints, and pain, but it's open ground. So, no tie.

My advantage is she doesn't know me. Didn't bother to ask, just gave how awesome she allegedly is, and took pleasure from my suffering. Die Shadenfrau, the big bad riding hood, who can't even ride. Thinks she's so smart, a riding hood is a cloak for hunting, usually in cold damp English isles climate.

Shake my head,for your safety, keep your hands, and feet in the handbasket at all times. Don't forget this is the slippery slope, and I'm pulling a Gainer. (Oh yeah, diving too.) Time to figure out if I'm self secure, or arrogant, but don't forget that green eyed monster's motive.

Jealousy. She'll never be as big, strong, and beautiful as me. I remember boys looking right past her at me. It made me uncomfortable, but it happened. Ironically, she's intimidated, fears and hates me, so was non-confrontational, and exploited my weaknesses. Yeah, thanks Janet. If even that is your real name. She hides, behind her looks, and her charm, and her lies, because she's really weak, and vulnerable. That's all she has, and I'm impervious to them. Don't let her catch you though, she's a grappeler.

Game face, there's the truck, downshift to climbing gear, backbrake, underspin to keep it loose, side in, skip the front tire over to the other track, lock up both wheels, and unclip to plant right on the tailgate. Put my foot down.

"Huh huh Hhuuuuuuuh." Bow. Drop the tailgate, grab a screwdriver to pop the aftermarket panel from the jam, grab the spare key, and walk around to Ruth's door. Hold down the horn a good 3 seconds, lock it, toss in the key, and slam it. "Whhhhh."

Backstep, and sidestep. Full-circle around the headlight, bumper, corner, door, rotating to keep my fist toward the geometric center of the footprint, and round the tailgate back to the start point. Stop, cup my fist, and bow again.

A couple months of Maud's secret, Ba'Gua. I can't hit her without flying through the air, or winding up with her behind me. Not enough to even belt, but it's just for the footwork, I've got striking. Another advantage, she has no idea that I can hit her. Theoretically, I could put a steel rapier straight through tilting armor in terms of power, but I have no experience with that. The guy that pushed me, kicked me in the arm when it head hit the ground. That was the 2nd hit.

;

Sex Objects:

God/dess {TIO...O NS}

The garage door went up, and a bike rolled in, cranks first. o\Bacchetta\ I flicked off my ash. "Hey, Meghan." Her arm pushes the back of the seat around this side of the door... "Have you gained weight?"

"Left about 15#s on the way up," she snorted, and effortlessly hung up her bike. Just reached out, and stuck it on the hook by the back tire.

"What's this about?" I didn't get up.

"This it?" She turned to the tarp, and lifted it up.

"Goddess:" I nodded, "Unfinished, handcarved wood mated together with pegs, slots, and biscuits." She doesn't like title cards. I picked up my glasses, rubbed the corner of my mouth, sighed and got out another. "Want me to put this out?" I lit it from the ember, and stubbed it out.

"Abstract, but that's why she didn't finish her. She didn't have a more detailed image to form." Faceless, sexless, legs crossed so it could be anything in there.

I keep thinking she'll come back for it, so we can catch her, and give her the help she needs. And register her, as a potential threat to herself, and others. "Huh!" She pulled the tarp back over that wooden Barbie thing, and the toolbox cabinet of her pedestal.

"You ever go hiking?"

"As a boy," I remember, "They made me, I didn't like it."

"Come on," she held out her hand, "I'll drive." Snaps for my keys.

"What's this about?" I followed her to the jeep.

"It's a surprise."

A functional mute beside me, I stub it out unfinished, and let the smoke out. "Look at you," she looks back sideways, then back at the road. Concentrating, paying attention. How she does it on any bike, much less that flying prow of a recumbent, a figurehead in lycra, and loose flapping cotton. She grunts, and downshifts. Looks back up, to turn.

"How are you, recovering from her?"

"Elvis Costello." And Hubert.

"Uh!" she rolls her eyes, "She drove me nuts with that song! I liked it, to start, but she just had it on repeat."

"Which one?"

"Sweet pear," atonal, "Sweet pear!"

"I know the one." Those who say they loved you would never dare. I sniffed. "She left me a note, [I admire your taste.]"

"So Like Candy," she nodded, and bit her lip in concentration. Switchback, hairpin, used more gears, and braking than she strictly needed to. "It was her favorite album."

"Huh," roll my eyes, "It was, our album. She saw my music collection?" She nodded, "Well so did she, and you know how I like to play music for therapy? Well she did for romance as well." She was actually incredibly romantic, for a fucking child molester. "It's like 35 through here."

"27," she glanced up.

"Right, we don't want to get rear-ended." Right into the tyre carrier, and (Black Jeep of the Family) cover. "It's mostly speeders after dark."

"Mh'kay," she shifted, hunched over the wheel, white knuckle, let up on the brake. Leans into turns.

"Relax," I opened the armrest, and slipped out a CD. Call me old-fashioned.

"Oh the Sisters of Mercy they are not departed, or gone." ~L. Cohen. Maybe a little brainbleach for me.

"I love the Sisters of Mercy."

Sigh, o7, lay back.

"Oh, I'm not goth," she rolls her eyes, "I know, the 3 most Goth words ever uttered is 'We're not Goth', I think it was The Cure first, but I'm a Rivethead." Reached up, and rattled the goggles hanging around her neck. "Got any Einsturzende Neubauten, Throbbing Gristle?"

"Psychic Tv," I blinked, and shook my head, "Back at the house."

"Hm," she nodded back.

"We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be all right..."

Mega {TIO NS}

"Huh, uh, I smoke too much." I reached down for her hand, held onto it, turned her around. "Hun?" She covered her mouth.

"Surprise." I got out my phone, and let the first few bars float out, then propped it on a limb. "She played it, the whole time she was working on it." Over, and over.

"I'll watch out for you," a tear, "I'll always be there. In the hour of your distress, you need not fear..." She fell to her knees, "In all the world there's only 1 true love, and finding it's hard enough!" Swelling brass, "And bless whatever's in the sky above, for bringing you too me, my love." She sobbed, and I looked up. She'd been busy, but Larry told me what to expect.

But seeing it standing over us, HIRM.

"God/dess." I nodded against her hair. "It's us. I know, but look at us. All the beauty she saw, god, I." Choked up a little myself, and blinked away tears. She looked up. "I know," I kissed her eye. Gritty greasy makeup, a tang of maskara, and tears of joy.

"Was my grip to lose, my grip too strong. It made you want to run away? And now you're back where I pretend you belong. I wonder every night, and day, how long?" Oh good, the guitar solo.

"Huh," I wiped her cheeks, smeared her makeup. "I think I have a little cold-cream here." I handed her the jar, and got out the papers.

"I swear, this is my prayer, though we're smeared, and scattered in the atmosphere. Or lost in the world, across a crowded room. I am your stupid lover your wretched fool..."

'huh!' I didn't have much to say after that. Flick flick! "You bring your cigarettes?" She took it, shaking, and the end brightened. I licked my pinky nail, stopped a run. "She cheated on me, the whole time. Amber too, looks like. When I first came up here, it was her. Idoru, I guess. {W. Gibson} She just kept taking more, and more off until, I guess it started looking like me. From the belly up, it was something watching it appear out of the wood. She must have finished the face," Hir's, "And the legs since I left." ...

Also hirs', from the waist down. From memory, I might add. If you've never been felt up by an artist, run right out and find one. I remember her thumbprints on every inch of my skin, and shivered. I got off once just from her touching my face, in the dark.

I clicked around in my phone's memory, can't get that song stuck in my head. It'll be there for days, so something to block that earworm. [Das Ich] I giggled. The Id. A whole lot of albums, though. Nothing too loud, or raukus. Something chill to not spoil the mode, but they're so not a Ballad band. Try to remember any instrumentals?

"Yeah, I know how you felt, how you still feel about her. I can feel it in your back, but see this? With all the pain, and hurt stripped away, this is you, both of you, exposed to the elements. Oh, and the lot's for sale, the landowner packed up, and bugged out when he heard what was going on down here. Lesbeeons, byegones. I'm not sure how the driving access would work out, but this could be your backyard. Mh? Hm!" She smiled on my mouth.

"SHush," her dark eyes held mine, in the moonlight. "Sometimes you talk too much."

Lady Midnight {TI ????}

"Huh, huh, huuuuuuh..." She lay down, and panted beside me. Switch tracks. "huH! Is there any of that roach left?" She took my cigarette. "You don't smoke."

"Not much," she handed it back, "When I need to. Mood adjustment."

"~Larry?" Nod. As for what came before, I'm not one to kiss, and tell, dears. She respects my wishes. I will say great day in the morning, I wished for more light. "It was perfect, coming here at night." I don't know if I could face HIR in the light of day, yet. "Yeah, I need to see what I can scrape together for this place."

"Ruth."

Less.

"You're right," look away, "I."

"Take your time, I don't need to hear it."

"Huh!" she was magnificent. Love at first sight, I swear, it hurt to admit it, but I think she might have been the love of my life."

"Hmhm?" She picked up her phone, and chewed her lip, swiping around in the light of the screen.

"It's not like the stories, dear. Huh, they never tell you what happens when Prince Charming gets Cinderella over the threshold, the honeymoon's over, and"

"And you don't want to focus so much on the bad you forget who you fell in love with. Uh!" [Das Ich - Dorn (Egodram)] "Here," she bopped gracelessly. Just kind of swaying, dreamy, eyes all over the statue. I just watched her, nude save for the patch of curls at the front. And under the arms, I'd seen. Hir scent caught the breeze. Only her face lit, to change tracks, as needed. And her mussed up wavy grown out A-line cut. The roach burned my fingers, and I dropped it.

[Garten Eden - Antichrist] "Sounds dark, and." I thought back, "Ambient." Progressed quickly from the intro, too.

"Coldwave," she shrugged, and nodded, then set down her phone.

([x] Opposite Sex) I blinked.

"Scorekeeping?" then "Huhah!" with her. She nodded selfconsciously.

"Fuckit list," she nods, "I had a lot of catching up to do. 'Casey Jones you better, watch your speed'." ~G. Dead.

"Catching up?" To Charley's high-score, "Quickly?" I don't like the sound of that.

"Huh!" I waited... [Grund Der Seele] scrolled across, and the screen went dark. Having climbed up on the dam, I heard her slip into the water from it lapping out the spillway to the side. Rather dark, good moon, dappling through the gaps in the leaves. "Hm. I went backwards. A girl, my virginity, rape, pseudosaphism, hn Larry. Found my same sex, what're the odds? I mean hundreds of thousands of generations, it was bound to, once, or twice, but what's the chances it'd be us?"

Shrug. "You all ultimately came in to see me." With some overlap with our endochrinologist. Was the most qualified in the region, once. There's that guy in Vegas, but he's the closest one, it's a narrow specialty.

"Analingus, anal, receptive, then. You know, group? Huh, Bert. I'm sorry, I feel like he cheated on you with us."

"Not if it's in the rules." #1, different set. "He's been. Huh, I made him. It wasn't intentional, consciously, but you see Hir? I wanted a man, I found a boy. Ruth ever tell you about Stacey? I know, right? But she groomed, and molested her, took her virginity, but it was given willingly. Huh, well I got manipulative. 12 years without sexual thoughts, it started out a Sex Addiction group, we didn't have enough members. Anyhwom, he was in pretty bad shape, I managed to prop him back up on his feet, dust him off, and tried to fix him. It's just so incestuous, huh, I have nitemares about Ruth, and I, raising Charley Jr.?"

... ([Das Ich - Urkraft (Lava: Glut)...])

"She made me." Long breath, and sigh. "I mean Amber was my Wakeup Call Boss. Sorry, I know you're not a gamer," sigh loudly, "Right, but she just woke me up. You know how I was, waiting? Well, my damsel in shining armor was late, but then she hooked up with The Villainess. You seen Maleficent yet? Netflix, we watched it together, and cried." I missed so much at work. "The morning after, with the wings torn off? Ooh, spoilers. I don't really like fantasy, and fairy tales, but she did."

"Huh?"

"So anyway, It wasn't love, I had a lot to learn about lesbians. They aren't all like her, but there's more. Bull daggers, is she really a child molestor? I believe it, but she made me feel so young, and beautiful, and tall, and strong. She never had an unkind word for me, but she made it clear, it was about sex, not love. I know you all have this whole rivalry thing going. Two many mommas? Well, she's the one I needed. You're great, fucking fantastinc, mmh! But Ruth understood me better, and gave me what I needed."

"And Larry?"

"Mh?" She thought, "I needed hirm too, but s/he came along right on time. We discovered our sex together. Those are the odds that, byegones," she splashed, got up, and dripped. "Mh, can you hand me the towel out of my back? Thinks!"

"Huh!" [All Grown Up (Spike the Beloved Entertainer.)] "I'm trouble she said!" Sang along, "Spread out on the floor of her father's house, her promise was almost undone. Under her tongue, dissolving her responsibilities, to finally deny everyone, with every unflattering comparison."

"All grown up," Hm, "And you don't care, anymore." I never could hit that note. "And you hate all the people that you used to adore. And you despise all the rumors and lies of the life you led before..."

Baritone! "Did I hear you right, you're feeling hounded, and pushed around? You wanna just lay down, and die? If all of this life has been such a big disappointment to you, why don't you stop dating some guy, and go give the next one a trial." I blinked, she said "Guyl" too.

. 2, 3, 4, I joined her again in the chorus:. "But look at yourself, you'll see you're still so young." My god, in the moonlight, "You haven't earned the weariness, that sounds so jaded on your tongue." Harmony! I wasn't sure who was singing to whom.

Mega {FF Bond MC}

{Grauasame Toechter - Beleidigte Engel... Incidentally, Aranea Peel, about 5'11, matching brown eyes, wavy hair, and freckles.}

"Hm, Theremin!"

"Huh!" Good scree-run, looked a bit wider than I remembered, 'huhuh huh, huuuuuuuh..." Bow, clasping my fist. Now I can think.

[Hanzel Und Gretyl - Meisterfrau (Ausgeflippt.)]

"Come on!"

'She can drive, but you got to get her going.'

'She's a complete, and utter bottom,' he'd laughed.

"Hehahuh!"

"Now don't start that!" ~Dumbo, duh!

"Bondage," I slammed the door, "Can you find your way up?"

[x]? Very expressive face.

"Huey," I nodded, "He hated that name." [\] Alpha. "No DSM, just Ribbons."

"uh?"

"Pink," I nodded excitedly. "His privates too. Huh! He was getting kind of worn out. 'Commuter cock,' after me, and Larry. Well, Larry and I made Troi, this new kid's a Tetra-tet. Nhim! We're working it out, it's all so deliciously complicated." I've got the whole love polyhedron in my head, "I had to get out the peas, and toothpicks. Well, I used mini-marshmallows." The multi-color ones, and those little pinch tape tabs for organizing notes in hilighter colors.

"Mhm, dear?"

"Oh, Ribbons, I've got it all worked out. I'm gonna call Gary Mark, and I'm Donna..." Glory can do Lacey, gonna have to come up with a character for Hubert... <<<without the piercing.

"Fantasies?"

"Huh, kind-of?" I thought, "Just change everything around so what really happened isn't on the page, but huh." I thought. "You wanna read them?" I didn't choke down the dry chuckle, but felt it inside. "I tied Mark to the headboard, and sucked him off. I held it in my mouth to lift his legs up over him, and worked it in with my tongue... That kinda stuff." Ditsy voice, okay, catch on at some point... Maybe a weight-bench? We should probably move that down to the Apartment, since Larry ain't using it no more.

"Why Meghan," she fluttered her eyelashes. His, without the gravity defying flakes of mascara. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Depeche Mode," Split the difference? Barrel of a Gun... "[Wrong.]" I like music, "You think I'd be a good DJ?" Suck at it, though.

"Yeah!" She reached out for the back of my head, "You could probably do anything, but."

"I want to do everything, eventually. Well, you can't do Everything."

"But you can try." She nods, "My money's on you."

"Hm," [Sisters of Mercy - Under the Gun (A Slight Case of Overbombing)]

;

"Lezly" {FF Pseu Saph Rape Fant}

Linkin Park wannabes, but just the sidestage opening act. Sigh, sit back, and prop the tin on the binoculars.

Orion 9x63 on a camera tripod. Not the best stuff I got, but it rolls well. The home-bums don't give up a lot of cigarettes, but they usually have papes. Lick, and stuck with a twist on one end, the other pinching to a nice mouthpiece, so I flipped it over. Lit it off my butt, and flip it off.

"Nice view up there?" Hippy/ster chick, looks like she can't pick a subculture. Pan over in the general direction of the main stage.

"Not yet," still setting up, "Wanna see?"

Young, old enough to get tartoos, tribal shoulder cap, nautical star, "Is that cuniaform?" Around front, "here, step up on the bumper," I had to get down, reach out, "uh, gimme your hand" put it on the bar around the cargo platform. "Put your leg up on the windshield.

(A)narchy tramp-stamp. Almost predictably. "Yeah," she pulled up, with help. "It's my name, Heather."

"There's Cuniaform for Heather?" Serious tan. Sunbleached hilights.

She shook her head, and the friendship bracelet plaits swung like Tarzan vines. "It's phonecian, phonetic unlike Egyptian."

I chuckled, sat back on the folding chair, handed her the joint. And a lighter, not sure this tiny platform could support a lap-dance, but willing to risk it. Her hips, nice ones, swayed subconsciously.

"I'm Lebonese," looked white, well tanned, but cute. Flat midriff, fucking navel piercing. Muscular flay and, using them. "You're gay." She guessed.

I looked up, "Or something," handed the joint back.

"Good stuff." Power hit it. "Knch!" Didn't blow it, I took another hit. "Are you a vendor?"

Yeah, you can rip off the menus, and paint over the sign, but it was an icecream truck, once. "Couldn't get in?" I shook my head. It's not an all ages show. "Keep it." She tucked the Roach in her bra.

"I'm going to UNM," student ID, math. That would be 20.

"Huh!" Wasn't carding her, but she made it easy. No pockets, nor purse. It's easy when they buy your drinks. "I'm an Artist, but my current project wasn't finished."

Impromptu festival out in the Desert. Short drive from Taos, Las Vegas, Santa Fe; "I seen you around Madrid?"

"I hang up there sometimes. I got friends there." She bends over the binoculars.

"Let's get this party started!" She sways her hips. Damn fine hips.

"Huh!" I hold onto the bar, and try to drop down gently, but my back still bitches. A lady doesn't say, but I'm in my 40s, and no lady. She's bi, at least, and not shy about flirting with an older woman.

Probably not a Sadist, sitting down on the folding chair. Free show, braless, up the fallen baggy top, with a real low neck. And a wallet thing, hanging around on a leather lace. Like a badge holder, but handmade. Looked like swede, small young perky tits. No necknife.

"Huh!" Light a cigarette, "You want to cum in, see what I'm working on?"

"Yeah," Climbing down is easier, when you're young. Those shorts, a frayed seam away from a skirt, blue panties. I opened the back door, and stood on the bumper to help her down.

Like a long dynamic hug, she slid down me, I caught her by the ass, and backed sideways in. Not a lot of room, with the bed, and reach-in cooler. I fell back, with her on top of me, giggling.

She turned back, had to reach for the door. "You're a sculptor," she looked back at the carved wooded arms, and legs cargo strapped to the wall, and ceiling. I sat up.

"Yeah," no hurry. The music was loud. She felt a wooden knee, down the calf. She's not just bi-curious, I could tell. Nice smooth legs, not even stubble. "Or something?" She felt back.

"Huh," don't kill the mood, Heather. "I was Gay, then I broadened my horizons;" Molested a little, whatever. "It's complicated," bygones. Good kisser, don't just dive right in, tongue first. Damned buttons on her cutoffs. Pretty loose, and comfortable, I guess. Loose enough to just push the crotch out of the way, feel her panties.

Young and experienced means getting an early start. "Ever been Molested before?" She nodded, " Another woman?" Smiling, and biting her lip. It's okay, you don't have to talk about it. Probably told not to, equality means everything, we can be just as sick as men. Just less likely to be reported.

Homely girl, exotic, but that's a big nose. So, make her feel pretty, obviously extroverted, histrionic, 'look at me' as a fashion statement, lucky she wasn't raped. First, she might have been after her body image was reinforced.

"Oh, she wasn't gay, either." Another smiling nibble. She reminds me of her, catching onto the Fantasy. "She married my uncle, cheated on him with everyone, even my dad." Slut, oversexed nympho, role-model. "I like predators. Rape." That raised an eyebrow. " I never got raped, by a woman."

Yet, "Like it rough?" She nodded. "Got a safe word?" Shook her head. "Say 'Uncle if it gets too intense." The seem over her crotch was rather worn, white with exposed cotton, like the back pocket patches, possibly by a bike-seat.

"Uh!" It snapped, eventually.

"What kind of Rape?" I whispered. She looked at me, ? "Bully, Romantic, Sadistic, or Charming?"

She gave it some thought, "Bully, ah"

I slapped her panties. "Filthy spic!" I grunted, and rubbed it in. Fat puff, under the worn cotton. Fap!

"Uh!"

"Don't scream," I held her mouth, "Don't make me hurt you." Had to feel out the crack, force the padded cotton in with my fingertip.

"huH!". Sucked in gasp, excited. Stupid little girl, doesn't even know how good she got it. So young, and niave, getting raped is easy. Just Tease them, then "Just Say 'no!'."

"Noh!?" Huh! Not 'Uncle,' that also gives you the freedom to fight back, struggle, scream for it to stop when it won't, unless you cry mercy.

"Wore out cunt, you Whore. What'd you expect, going out likeat." Force her over. Behind her, the Retaliatory position. No blitz attack, but I feel it. Him, that coward has to sexually harass to feel like a man. "This what you want, slut?"

Shaming, dehumanize the victim to patch up the cracks in his self image. "No, stop!" She squirms, "You're hurting me!" Panting, don't grip her arm hard enough to bruise.

"You don't know pain you privileged twat." Switch to her neck.

"Ah!" Slap her ass.

"Your momma didn't teach you no Discipline!". Her cunt,

"Owh!"

"Your daddy fuck you?"

"Mh!" Bitey grin. She likes that Fantasy.

"Turn you out to his friends? Fucking Whore, I better put some gloves on to touch you."

She panted, shivered, didn't get up, just lay there, bent over the end of the bed. Pretty tight in here, hot despite the reflective paint. Let her get good and worked up, the ultimate domination is Denial. Leaving them tied up, still in earshot so they can call them, but she squirmed, and pulled down her underpants.

"Snh!" Moist. I shivered a little, it was hot in here. Why I needed the electric cooler, for the Wax Mask. I grinned a little, pulled out the Cold bottle of lube.

"Ah!" The nitrile snapped on my palm. And the worn denim of her new miniskirt. Rub it in, down, slip around the hanging tail, and feel around. Probably won't need more lube, so I set that down. "Hhuh!" She was drooling, from her mouth, but very damp. I do wait for a drop to run down, felt the wrinkled skin. " Nh!"

I rubbed under her braids, and shit to reassure her. Jabbed into her clit again, swirled out some more juice, and slipped it down, and up her hood. Decent sized. For someone so young, and petite, I got down, and held up the hanging seat of her broken shorts.

"SnhhhhhH!" Not quite touching her with my nose. Hairy, sweaty, dirty, not a hint of soap. Even a little stale onion smell.

"Do you have Herpes, Heather?" Serious question.

"No."

"You sure?". I thought, "What about Hep-C?"

"Uh uh," she shook her head, "I get tested." Slut. Not shaming, those services are free. They lay you at the Plasma donation places, where they also screen for AIDS. They at least ask 'have you ever exchanged money, or drugs for sex?'

"Hehehe, you want it?" Breathing on her wet spot. She nodded, " Say it."

"Yes, I want you to eat me out."

"Filthy fucking twat," deny myself a little too, "I should douche you with whiskey first." Kiss it, lick my lips. "Mm!"

Here's the problem, girls. Too clean is a thing. Yeah, it's nasty, but it's fucking sex. Dirty messy sweaty stinking sex. It's not supposed to be clean, we're animals. This is a leftover of the Rape den harem days.

Why we still have Rape fantasies, too. I mean women, we don't even understand it, because it's irrational. It doesn't have to make sense, because it's wired into the subconscious. Back of the closet, behind the drywall, and painted on eggshell. Society is about hiding those urges, making rooms for us to do our business, instead of shitting where we stand.

But it's still there, repressed so we can interact, covered up with clothes to make up for our lack of fur, but underneath we're still animals. That's why we have Rape. Submissives, and real victims. Doesn't mean she's asking for it. If she really is, she'll ask you explicitly. Even if she plays hard to get, it ain't Rape with explicit consent, so get it. There's no excuse for rape.

There, I was getting too into it. Now I could focus on her. That's the problem with the top, she can give in, let the thrill take over, me ravish her. I have to keep control, or I'm not dominating anyone. And I might escalate to raping her.

I threw her, gently on the bed. Or lifted her roughly, don't want to bash her head on the corner of the cooler, or the walls. "Huh!" But play dough, jerk the front of her skirt up, and rub her roughly.

Short pubes, she shaves her legs, but leaves a neat thatch below her midriff. Soft and muscular, supple, Belly dancing? Pretty popular with the neospiritual world superstitious set. Doesn't matter if it's Chinese, Indian, Egyptian, Mayan, or Navajo. Make that Pueblo around here. Grinding into my hand, I pinch, and pull her lips.

Mariposa, cute little butterflies of pink skin between the dark swollen rolls of her labia. Hairy mons, and tight muscular plateau with the peirced hole. Okay, it was kina neat, I could flick it with my tongue like a clit. No jewelry down there, tiny ring and ball in her nipple like a doorknocker for a dollhouse.

I got another hand, so I play with it. Tugging it out, and working it back and forth on the ring. "mhn!" Not smiling, but biting that lip hard. Tongue peirced, too. On the front, gotten used to talking with it, takes a couple years.

Ooh, scars on her hip. Self inflicted, but not on her arms Hidden, not for attention, all of them healed. Some White deep, though. I bent over, and kissed the unmodified tip. Already hard, a hair growing out under it. Long enough to swirl around with my tongue.

"hahH!" Blow it dry. Pleasure, and pain, she tried not to squirm, I pinched her cunt, and rubbed it together. "AhH!". We could get loud, the concert, hell I could make out the lyrics if I cared to. Screaming, sounded like, don't know the band.

Didn't come for the music. Saw it from the hiway, didn't keep driving, had to turn around to the exit, back to the last one, then back up the sideing road. Worth the gas, for the kind of kids it attracts. Not a venue, probably private land, so no ATM.

"Uhn!" Burning girl, too dark to see the flush, with all the overlapping tanlines. Down to the bra, tank top, sleeveless tee-shirt, like the one I'm holding up over her head. Her face, huh.

The shame is, she's not ugly. Grew into the nose, I guess, but that's how the Rape Culture works. Super models obsessing over every perceived flaw, because a females worth is completely dependant on her Attractiveness. So even with the glass ceiling the young pretty one gets the job. Lookism, ageism on top of sexism, when a guy basically needs just a shave and a haircut. 2 bits.

"Nh!" Pinching her nipple in my teeth. Okay, just a nibble, it snaps back. I open wide, test her tolerance. "Unk!" I let go. "Noh, uh," she feels blindly for my head, "Don't stop!" Very high, masochist. Harder than I can stand being bitten, on the breast, around the nipple, in the sensitive glands. Left some welts, might even bruise. So, I sucked it in, hard enough to Hickey. Levee her a feeling to remember me by, for a couple days.

Competing with everyone she's been with, some no doubt more memorable than others. Her aunt didn't make her feel like this. She'd be a groomer, sexually harass her for months at least, escalate to seduction, gentle molestation, but not Rape. Too risky, if she knows you. Safer to Rape strangers.

"Mh?" 3 fingers. Right on, hard, just beating around the bush, the surprise. Make it feel like Rape, but peel back slow. Slip my pinky out. Wet, fresh fragrance. I move down, for a better angle, fuck it was running down her crack. Loose, and inflamed inside, hyperaroused.

"Loose slut. You been fucked hollow?" cours'not, ultimately it's designed to push out a human being, with the right prep. Foreplay for most of a set, she was about ready to be fisted, but for the bone. Never had kids, so her pelvis wasn't wide enough for my knuckles, but loose=\=size. 2 fingers is plenty, with enough force behind it, and I mean punching her fat lips with my knuckles.

ThockThockThockThock. My pinky, and pointer slapping wet on her crotch. Stubbly, she just shaves to her bikini line, or the ones that can curl out the crotch of her daisy Dukes. "Agahahah?" I held her throat, didn't squeeze, but felt her deep racing pulse.

Denied her clit a while, and she was close, so I sank in. Palm wet from squirts forced out by the piston action, spattering my wrist, and up my arm. My damp thumb, the ball of it gently slipping the skin up the pink split fold of her clit. "AhuhHhH!" Just brushing it with my thumbprints.

She clenched, and relaxed, twitching inside. I felt up to a tight little knot. The graffenberg, well all girls are unique flowers inside, but instead of a soft spongey mass, imperceptible sensitive patch, or almost developed prostate, she had a hard atrophied pea of glandular tissue, packed tight with nerve endings.

Between my fingertips, I mashed down hard with my thumb, and rubbed counter rotating circles, pinching her pubic bone between them. "Aiee!". She screamed short, " Uncle, ah fuck!" I pulled out hard.

Still cumming, she crossed her legs, hugged them on her side. Shuddered breathlessly. "Hh, hHhH! Huhn!" No ejaculate, not surprised. It felt dry. Licked my fingers anyway. "Nhn!"

"Sorry, but boundaries are ment to be pushed. I can't find them any other way."

"That felt like Rape!"

"You asked for it." She laughed? What the actual fuck? Great, now I care, so hope she sticks around long enough to ask who fucked her up likeat. And how.

"Yeah, no. Um" she bit her lip. It popped out when she smiled. "That was incredible. I mean, I heard. Womem cam Rape, but I never imagined how."

It was a fantasy. I overbid, but not too much. The important thing is I stopped. I stayed in enough control, or the Bitch would have come out. I would still be raping her.

"Huh!" I nodded, "You got any money?"

She sat up, pulled down her shirt. "You're a pro?" 'sights I guessed.

"Amateur," shrug, "That's my fantasy. Huh! It's reassuring, like Rape, only it's somebody finding me attractive enough to pay for it instead of take it." Among other things.

"You know alot about Sex." I pushed open the side window, and propped it up to clear the air. She crossed her legs, looked up at me with a sheen of sweat on her forehead. "Uh, igot $45?"

"Good," I checked my clothes, untucked my shirt. "I'm gonna go get some beers." Fucking $60.00 cover, but they had Coors Lites in the bottle-cans. Open containers, I got 5, and stole caps, so I could carry 4 out in my cargo pockets. Security was checking people coming in, didn't really look at me. I had the band, so could go back for one of the plastic yards ona neck strap. Margaritas, at least.

"Huh!" Cold, and wet, all I cared about. Heather hanging out the window, under the awning, hair down around the spilling neck of her tornoff shirt. Braless A cups, don't really need the shirt.

Talking to Coachella broz, looked like. "You like Anal?" Not like I didn't release a cloud of pussy stink right out in the parking lot.

"How 'bout you?" I clapped him on the shoulders, "You ever been pegged?"

"Huh?" He got it, "No!" He pushed me back. "Fuckindyke!". We laughed, but he wandered off. I passed a couple rounds of Silver Bullet up to her, went around to the door. Locked, I knocked, once. She let me in.

"Just, teasing," she rubbed my chest. "Smrq!" I twisted open my beer, with a PCSH! They'd sloshed around in my pockets. She slipped her hands down, under my shirt.

I broke the kiss, "You want to get outta here?" She shrugged, " Thought I could make some money back, if we stuck around." I gave her her change.

"Let me pack it all in," I dropped the prop on the window, and latched it down on the seal. Had to climb up for the binoculars, just folded up the tripod, and the chair, handed them down to her standing in the back door. Swung out, so she could hang onto it, at the end of its aircraft cable.

"You seen the movie Monster?"

"Huh!" I get that a lot. "Yeah, I read the interviews, too. Transcripts, mostly. Eileen didn't look like Charlez Theron, either, but I got more in common with that character than I'd like to admit."

"I thought it was pretty romantic.". She would.

"Yeah, they made it out to be a love story, and to be fair what's her nuts, her girlfriend." She giggled, " Well, that's the Fantasy, she's gay, but Eileen took advantage of that. To her it was a romance, and I guess her version of it's more plausible than a psychopath's, but she lied to herself. Made excuses, battered wife syndrome." Eileen probably raped her, but she wouldn't admit that, unless the police got a better interviewer.

I climbed down, "What's different is she killed for Money. Hooked before that, she said they all raped her, or tried to, but psychopath. Pathological liar. I'm sure the first one did, even the next couple two might have, but that just triggered her escalation."

"Uh huh?" I secured everything, walked her around the drivers side. "You have to climb over," got a nice flash of panties. "The other side is busted."

"You sound like a doctor."

"Dated one," slammed it, stared her up, dropped in 1st. Backed in for the view, and privacy getting on, and out. "I understand people intuitively, I'm an Empath, and a Sexual Predator, so I have sympathy too." She basically filled in what the profiles are called. "Doctors are more analytical."

"A sympathetic abuser?"

"Yeah," I rubbed her leg, no that we were back on the hiway. "A Sadist doesn't get off on pain, it's the reactions, crying, screaming, that pays off for them. I'm a Shadenfrau."

"You're German?" I shook my head, "Keltic, not really all about my heritage, but a WASC." Catholic, instead of Protestant.

"Wournos was about Privilege. I don't know what you heard about that, but it ain't about quantity, nor even quality. It's about what you got, and how you use it. She was poor, a slacker type, because of her psychopathy. Couldn't hold a job, but learned through escalation. First sex for money, then living on the run until she triggered to killing, and robbing Johns. Now, IDK what went on in her head, I'd love to talk to her about it sometime, but her sidekick may have encouraged that escalation with the promise of love. She can't have that, any more'n she's capable of morality, but we can try. Female psychopaths, especially."

"So you're a Psychopath too." Good listener, college student, but she raises her hand, so I know she's actually following it.

"Right, but what kind? There's one kina normal;" she nodded, so I looked back at the lane. "I'm staying in Klines' Corners."

A couple exits up, by the signs. "I'm episodic, situational, but instead of playing the victim to justify it," Eilleen expected the cops to understand, get off on Self Defense, "I escalated to Raping."

"From what?" I shrugged.

"Victim rehearsal for years. Autoerotic, with toys, I was joking about pegging that guy, don't even have a dildo any more, but I could probably whittle one in my sleep."

"Then what's the situation?" See?

"Good question, I get turned on by vulnerability. An opportunity to exploit, like a half naked drunk girl at a party," or an exhibitionist outside a concert. "To molest, that's why I didn't even touch myself back there," I hooked my thumb, then fished around in my best pocket.

"Huh!" I handed her my scissors, "You wanna neaten up your skirt?" She knew how to slip the handles out, and unfolded them in my peripheral vision. "To Rape, I guess it takes Rage. I'm still figuring it all out. Your, you're never done." SNIP! "Huh!" Intensely aware of the symbolic castration.

"With victims I'm not attracted to, or I hate, I build up to a psychotic seizure. Black out to Rape, torture, and humiliate them. Don't even remember it for a while, but that bitch is pure Id. Selfish, impulsive, short tempered, sadistic. Why I know I didn't rape you, I wouldn't have stopped, probably until the cops showed up," and searched the back, found the broken down prototype.

"But you were too willing, enjoyed it, which kept my Empathy engaged." Didn't even need out much.

"Can you teach me?" I looked over, ? "To Rape." I shrugged, pursed my lip, and nodded. "Plausibly. " Look back at the road at some point. Huh! If not, you done any prostitution? Seriously, you give it away, might as well make a living. I can teach you how to lower the risk from that. Tell you what, IDK enough about you to answer that."

She's in great shape, but it's Fitness, not strength. "Doesn't take much strength, if the victims don't know they're being raped."

Heather {Ff Plantacy}

"Huh!" Well I guess she did enough talking. "My folks got out of Beruit on the 80s, but waited until they were set up enough. I'm from Corpus Christi." Spahn. Hospital, I nodded. " So you know, South Padre's like Fort Lauderdale for Texans, tourist town in summer too, College parties, and Austin."

"Austin's a different state of mind."

"Yeah, then my father's brother got married, and she was a bit of a gold-digger. That was a joke, he's a jeweler. She's a sex addict. She's doing 12 steps now, sponsored me for fucks sake, but we don't talk about it in the meetings."

Deep breath. Hold it, and let the memories come back. "My family is conservative. For Texas, only it's Lebonese tradition, we don't wear burquas, but talking to boys, making eye contact. We've been back to Beirut, a few times to see extended family, when my grandparents died...

Fundamentalists there have Mortars, and Machine guns. Not just AKs, pickup trucks with belt fed machine guns."

"Technicals." That what they're called?

"Not all over the place, all the time, but the gangs out there are Muslem vs Christians, and drive around with trucks full of armed men. In Texas, they think I'm Mexican, I finally learned Spanish, because they came up talking it to me. Which is fine, because they think my family are Terrorists. They're Agnostic, my papa thinks religion causes all wars, and hate crimes. Not all, but you have to admit, a lot of them.

But, there's some sexual repression, still. They don't like my lifestyle, the first time my brother caught me making put with my girlfriend, he rattled, and they threw me out."

"Was this before your Aunt?"

"Oh no. I knew her all my life, they got married before I was born, and we all shared a house. Not really in Corpus, inland enough to be on the ground, without stilts. No crawlspace, it was pretty big. 3 bathrooms."

"Then you started growing up..."

"Oh yeah, she didn't touch her kids, but all us girls got raised together. My cousins were like brothers and sisters, but I didn't have any real sisters."

"Like a step-daughter. Opportunistic exploiters actually prefer strangers."

"Like you? I don't think she was a psychopath, the way you described it. Me neither, for that matter

"Huh, anyway, she let us get away with things. Mh mother didn't approve of her daughter's clothes, and she let me wear more reveling ones. We played dress up while the boys were out in the yard with their guns.

It was like having 2 moms, one uptight, and the other, sexually permissive, but when I got my period. My mother, huh, her version of The Talk was all about Men, what they do to women, and girls like me. She was raped, never told me about it, but from what she did say, from experience.

My grandmother told me. When her husband died, there was a riot. Not all of the violence is revolution, or getting invaded, or sometimes they aren't successful, but Muslems broke in, gangraped her at gunpoint, and forced my father to watch. One raped him too, and they called them Christians.

I wasn't, huh! I'm not old enough to be from that, but they left as soon as that happened, and then it was years before they had any children. But she was paranoid, the way she described my future husband even made it sound like Marital Rape, and I ran out crying before she was done.

My aunt set me straight, of course. Told me that it doesn't have to hurt, and can even feel good. Especially if you learn to enjoy it, so she showed me how. To masturbate, and touched me the whole time I was growing up.

So, I guess the Rape fantasies came from the nightmares my mother gave me, and my, bisexuality came from my aunt. I wanted to be a Lesbian, at first I wanted to be a nun, or something, hide from men, and never have sex, it sounded so horrible.

Then I stared screwing around with girls. I got a girlfriend, turns out she was Gay, then when we got kicked out, huh. I stayed with her family a while. They're Tejano, really helped me with my Spanish, they didn't know either, then we got caught again, and the rumor got out.

And you don't want to be a young Lesbian, in Texas. They raped her, and beat her to death. I got away, but then the Rape nightmares got overwhelming. I started acting out, cutting myself, going out, and teasing guys, until one finally raped me. I let him, didn't even fight back, but he hurt me, made me scream to get off. A real Sadist, he called me a Spic, too.

And I guess, I don't know, it got me over how she died. I understood, how she felt, and didn't feel guilty that I survived. With some therapy, huhn! I guess I'm getting better, but now. I don't know if I can escalate any more. Like you said, I'm burning out, I burned out when I was nineteen, and now I don't know what to do.

Your rah't. Maybe prostitution is a better choice. I just thought being the raper might be nice, for once."

"Yeah?" She chuckled, "Well, we can play around with that, see how you do, but if you're serious about hooking, you might have to clean up a little. No, I like it, but it's bad for business. The good Johns have certain standards, the worst are more likely to be attracted by the neohippy party girl look."

Oh.

Ruth {FF Fant/Plan}

I kept a hand in her panties, but she didn't get turned on by all that. Better than watching her face, there's no straight point A-to-B out here in the mountains, through valley roads, and passes, had to snake around Pecos, turn left at Las Vegas instead of taking 25N, southwest toward Madrid, and Santa Fe, the hills, and mountains got dryer, pines giving way to pinon, nopal, chamisa, and sage scrub. Leveled out, plateaued.

She squirmed, and relaxed. Thighs tightening around my fingers talking about the violence, Rapes, riots, and guns. "You know how to fight?"

"Been fighting all my life. No training, just a lot of experience."

"Where in Kleine's Corners?" I slipped my hand out to downshift. Deizel, no half gears, a turbo in line. Or parallel, actually, exhaust driven. Van cab, though.

"Outskirts, not really in Klines;" Some boring navigation, to think.

"Who're you staying with?" UNM is down in Albuquerque.

"My boyfriend, he's working tonight." Getting on toward sunset, but on the wrong side of the 'Christo's. The concert had an early start, so many bands. Or ' Local Alternative Festival,' whatever.

"He's cool, we have an open relationship."

"What kind of open relationship?" Hm? "For 3 somes, he like to watch?"

"Oh, he's bi, too. So we can have sex with guys, and girls too. Um, he's a bit of a bottom."

"When's he get off?"

"Swing shift at Allsups? Usually about ten, or midnight on a Saturday. Huh, if he doesn't hook up with a trucker, or something. Bikers, he likes them."

Drop it in Park, Reverse gear, in front of a Stuccoed ranchouse, looked like. Sideways Shotgun style, in the shadow of a mountain, but well clear off the scree slope. Fallout from the Cliff at the top, "Nice view. You top him?

"I'm trying. Fucking is harder than it looks, I got a strapon, but I'm not very good at it."

"You hurt him?"

"He likes it," she smiles. Nodding, not biting anything back.

"Yes, but Anal is some pretty advanced shit." Huhah! No pun intended. "Uh, so's Dominating, if you don't know how;" nor have it in you. " Let's see what you got," I chucked my chin, and she socked me.

"Uh!" Not a slap, cute little grunt, solid pinch to the cheek. "Huhaha!". Good, you're quick, but that's about enough for Pain Compliance. In a Rape situation, or defense you want to follow up to take advantage of surprise, and recovering from it."

"Told you, I know how to fight."

"That full strength? Yeah, well your advantage is speed, not power. You got about enough for a knockout, or to daze him if you hit the temple, or you can knock the wind out of him with the solar plexus." Tap under her sternum, "Set up for that with an uppercut, that's a tough shot."

She nods. "What about Rape?"

"Well, it's incredibly risky, for a man raping a woman, took me a couple years to work up to it, and I always been strong." Had to lose a lot of weight, too.

"Uhm,.. Right, even if you don't beat them up first, you have to know how to end it, and without extensive training, your best bet is relentless strikes until you have an opening for a finisher. Knockout, or they submit enough to get out of it. You don't want to wrestle, hit, and run. Then you can regroup, or draw them out where you can dance around them.

To Rape, you're better off coercing them into a disadvantage. If you can talk them into Bondage, do that. If not, kick their ass, and tie them up, but can your boyfriend fight? Shit, well you'd need a sparring partner, and you don't want me. If you trigger me, I'll destroy you, and Rape you for real." Or the Bitch will. She hasn't killed, yet.

;

Dr. Santiago {TMO NS}

"Yeah," look away, "That's her." Deep breath, look, 'heuuuuuuuh.' Ohm...

"We got her prints off the cheeks,"

"Ruth Cannon." Easy, nobody else could have made this, this abomination. Legs up, looks like you can stand her up on them, coyly covering between them with both hands. Wood, hand-carved, seamless, you had to follow the grain to see where it was mated together. Magnetic wand on the table over there. "Any metal?" I plucked out a pair of gloves. "HuhH!" Covered my mouth.

The face. "Uh!" Nightmare fuel. There's a skull in there!

"None we can detect, we're scheduling an MRI." Wood, some leather, and wax.

The disproportionate head a caracature. "Homonculus." The neck doesn't look like it'll support it, that deaths head grin, probably carved first. "Fuck! Sorry, may I?" Where did she get Ivory? Walk around the examination table like a billiard player, and grip her wrists. Through the glove, I'm not sure I want to touch it, hesitate to grip the wood.

Dainty, pressing the wax breasts together by the triceps. Molded in. Concave, the back inner surface molded into the wax, black dot for the nipple. Looked like it was burned in, a twinkle. Barely visible point, countersunk, not even any marks inside the arm, right around where the brachial artery runs under the humerus. Metal.

"It's a work of art," nod, lips tight, rub the end of an arm over them. "Dumped behind a gallery." in Austin. Found the Ranchero in Raton, traded for a pickup...

"Like a body," they broke up. This is from memory, she didn't bother editing out all the feelings, and exaggerated the proportions. She would never have sat still to model for this, this took a while. The nails are sharp, too. Not like claws, but more like scalpel blades, curved in, and down to almost parabolic tips. Red, some sort of plastic? Red wax beneath them, gaping maw. "Is that a bore-scope?" Try to snap my fingers for it.

"She's hollow." Changeling, just the rawhide stretched between the hip-bones, and ribcage, laced on, and stretched taut, like a drumhead, but not as flat. Tap it, atonal. Not like a chord, lean over, pull a fingertip tight, and tap it again. Possibly unintentional.

"I'll buy it, at any price. She made it for me." Rigid, but it has a light behind the aperture, pry it in under the rawhide, where there's enough of a reveal. "Gently, don't want to damage it... Thank god there's nothing in there!" Cover my mouth.

"Now they'll believe me." Megan's Law.

"This some Hannibal Lechter shit, doc?"

"Not yet," The Tv show, maybe. They haven't done this one yet, but that would be the logical venue.

Patience, Maud. She can cool down forever. I hope. If not, she might make it 3 victims in, if they report, before there's a followable pattern. Can't estimate period, or acceleration with only 2 points. I can't profile, anyone, but I know her. More with each of these Sex Objects she leaves me. Just don't kill anyone Ruth, don't hurt anyone else. Who doesn't deserve it.

;

Tainted Love {Gloria Jones (Ed Cobb)}

And there she was. I was just doing an artsearch {(f)} and came apon

[Lovers II: Ruth Cannon.]

Wax, and wood, respectively, facing, holding each-other. At the chest, and privates, not mirror images, but cast one from the other with a female mold. Eye-to eye, it looks like their stares are locked, but I can't walk around it, or rotate it in 3D. Looks like a camera phone shot, but artfully lit.

[_Ruth_Cannon_] click) [Open Link in New Window...] Hmh, Goddess, in the corner of my garage, [Private Collection]

[God/dess] Daylight shot, sun dappling through the leaves, but snowy background? That blizzard, this March? "Huh!" Need to hike back out there, this evening. These legs ain't getting no younger. [On Display] Hover over it brings up google maps, probably GPS.

[Succubus] Stainless steel mop-sink, it looked like. Brick/tile above it, stood up on it's legs. [Private Collection.] Upstairs master closet, it's a walk-in.

[The Lovers]

(Click [The Artist.]

Standing in front of the mirror, bikini, gasp. Just the self image shot, this is what I have left. Down to the implants up front, belly flat, but loose, and wrinkled with stretch-marks I ached to run my fingers through. "Hm," the screen feels cold, and hard, so I tap it with my nails. Great tan, and freckles on her shoulders with enough zoom.

(Click [IMG]

Hold that breath, turned to prop that toe on the hardwood, fist twisted back like a d, behind the tight boulder of bottom, and hard looking pubis mons framed by the hot pink piping of that itty bitty teeny weeny aqua bikini with particolor (aqua on hot pink) top popped out in front of that stretched out bicep. I bought 'em, might as well appreciate them. "Huhahim!" Bite my lip, and that tricep, looked like a calf. Bitter lipstick.

Holding up a track bike, fixie. No brakes, looked like 28" mountain bike tires.

[Gallery] Longboat key Fl. Off the coast of Sarasota.

Back to [The Lovers.] Actually fairly modest, the way their arms cross around each-other, impossibly the way she made them. Okay, that's Meghan's body, I can see that, but not crotch shots, none. Nothing overtly pornographic except for the explicit sexual contact.

[Available in Bronze]? Still has the molds, or lost wax, duh.

[Adult Store:] Apparently learned HTML, or had a webmaster who could imbed sound.

"Little Triggers," ~E. Costello (This Year's Model) "The tickle of your tongue..."

[Trigger] Front and center, but just scrolling through the thumbnails, the most human looking.

[Hand Carved Basalt.] Managed to match the shade. Flesh tone brown, if you have that particular shade of deep tan. Holding it up for comparison even if it's shot from below, where I'm not used to looking at It. Erect, the almost pointed tip exposed to the circumcision scar.

[Not availible for reprouction.] Understandibly difficult to mold, what with the skinlike wrinkles, the flat crease at the base, and ridges, almost labia around it. All the way out to the hips, standing up on what looked like a burgundy velvet bedspread, or tablecloth. Faithfully reproduced in polished volcanic stone. I remember the prototypes. Flacid for Larry, and the wooden one. Hard, so I could feel what it was like, inside me. (With a condom, to prevent Splinters.) Not that she told me to "Go fuck yourself," but she took it with Her. Of course, I can tell myself she just wanted me all to Herself, but it is unique, and I'm flattered by that.

Liberacce' - "I'll be seeing you..." Maybe Jimmy Durante'?

The back of my suit, Armani? Haircut, bleach, and dye brown, get in under her radar in drag. Stop waxing a couple-few months. No hat, I can still walk male, in flats. Or practice. In the corner, looking over them. With the mirrors behind them to either side.

[IMG] Oh, they separate, but the only difference between them is his groin. Grown out, and a void in her forearm. In translucent wax. I remember her hand on me, but not ever such an intense climax. Creshendississimo! Turn around, as she comes up behind me, shades coming off, in my new haircut. Catching her eyes.

"Surprise."

"huhN!"