Star Whores (movie parody, loli-fied)

by Pulsar

It is a civil war of periods (heavy flow) in the galaxy. The evil Empress has conquered the galaxy and rules with iron fisting. But when the good but bratty Princess Laida helps to smuggle some secrets to the rebel freedom-fighters, all hell breaks loose!

[The following preview has been approved for NO audiences by the MPA]

The battle was one-sided from the beginning. The small corvette ship was no match for the looming battle cruiser that pursued it. Laser bolts darted every which way until the main engines of the rebel ship had been disabled. The corvette rocked violently as the golden gyno-bot known as C-U69 struggled to keep her feet. She walked down the corridor mechanically, resembling a metallic youth programmed to interact with humans. "Like... oh-mah-gawd! We've been hit!" she shrieked in her mechanical feminine voice. "We're gonna be like... sooooo captured!"

But the little pink techno-bot RU-1-2 only beeped in protest to her cybernetic emotions.

"Yeah, you'll think that once we're sent away to work at some slimy kitchen somewhere! Eeeww! Manual labor is like... soooo icky-poo!"

And too soon, the vexing Vixen Troopers blasted their way into the ship, slaughtering every soldier in their path. Within the chaos, C-U69 and RU got separated as they sought shelter. "RU-1-2! Like...where are you?!" cried C-U69. As she slipped into a small dark corridor, she swore she saw a young beautiful princess sliding a memory disk into her robotic companion before slipping away. "Come on, RU! We've gotta, like... split!"

Yet once the smoke cleared in in the main corridors, in walked the imposing mistress of the mighty empire. Fear and awe filled the very hold of the ship as Darcy Vader made her grand entrance in her pink armor that struck terror in all the galaxy. She wasted no time to seize the princess' captain by the throat to lift him from the deck. "Where are those porn tapes you intercepted?" she demanded behind her mask.

"We... we intercepted no porn," gasped the captain.

"Several transmissions of illegal kiddie porn were beamed aboard this ship by loli-lovers!" roared Darcy Vader. "I want to know what happened to them!"

"We... have... no porn," wheezed the strangled captain. "This is a... a convent ship!"

"If this is a convent ship, then where is the Mother Superior?!" roared Darcy Vader as she snapped his neck and tossed him aside like a rag doll. "Majorette! Tear this ship apart until you've found that kiddie-porn! And bring me every last little rug-muncher you can find... alive!"

"Yes, mistress Darcy!" confirmed the majorette.

Yet moments later, RU-1-2 coaxed her counterpart into the escape pod. "Like, oh-mah-gawd! We're like... sooooo not allowed in here!" protested C-U69. "We're gonna be totally busted!" Yet RU only beeped in rebuke. Then, with a mechanical hand, she fired the rockets causing the pod to dart away into space toward the glowing desert planet below.

But back onboard, the war nymphs brought their prize prisoner, Princess Laida, before their mistress Darcy Vader.

"Well, well well!" roared Darcy. "Princess Laida, the biggest brat in the galaxy!"

"Darcy Vader, the biggest bull-dyke in the galaxy!" snapped Laida.

"Charmed, I'm sure!" roared Darcy. "Now where is that illegal kiddie porn you're smuggling?"

"Why? Need something to jill-off to?" spat Laida. "Well, we don't have any kiddie-porn! So eat me, bitch!"

"I shall," replied Darcy Vader. "Take her away!" And thus the war-nymphs forced the princess down the corridor and into the main hold of the massive cruiser.

An hour later, the two robots found themselves out in the middle of a sea of lifeless sand dunes on a world unknown to them. RU beeped and tooted mechanically as she began to roll toward the rocky hills to the north. "Like... you've got to be kidding me!" protested C-U69. "This... this planet is soooo lame! Look at this! Not a mall or maintenance shop in sight! And my awesome shiny plating is gonna get sooo pitted by this gross sand! Eeewww!"

Yet RU beeped once again in rebuke.

"Oh, stuff it!" snapped C-U69. "And don't you dare call me a high-maintenance tin dyke-bot! I'm a golden Aphrodite!" Of course, RU's beeps of binary protests did not sit well. "Fine! Go that way you... you tin-can bitch! I'm going this way! Now piss off!"

A day later and across the blowing sands near the rocky crags sat a small moisture farm that extracted what little water their was from the desert to be piped into the sparse settlements. And in a bedroom of the small adobe dwelling stood 12-year-old Lucia Slylicker looking at her reflection in a full-length mirror. There she stood in her new space academy uniform. The skirt was very short and completed by thick socks pulled up to the base of the knee, yet leaving her cute little bony kneecaps exposed. It came with a lacy blouse and cravat. Then, she put on the blazer with a cosmic insignia on it. She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt a little shy about showing that much leg around so many other girls in class, yet growing up in the desert, she had a beautiful golden tan she was dying to show off.

"Lucia! Lucia!?" suddenly called a voice.

"I'm coming, Auntie!" And thus she raced into the main room of the dwelling. "Look Aunt Barass! It finally came! Look! I'm all ready for the space academy!"

Barass took one look and gasped at her niece looking as beautiful as ever. "Oh, Lucia! You're sooo adorable!" she said with some sadness in her voice. "But... you see...I'm sorry! I tried to have things ready for you to go to the academy next term but... I'll have to wait another year!"

Suddenly, young Lucia burst into tears. "Waaaaaah!" she cried. "It's not fair!"

"I know honey," said Barass as she tried to hug and console her. "But... we need more money!"

Yet Lucia only bawled like a five-year-old child. "Waaaah! I worked so hard for these tanned legs and nobody's ever gonna see!"

"Now Lucia honey! It may be another year but... I've got to show you something. Look what I bought for you!" With that, she led her outside into the sunken courtyard next to the garage. "Look what I bought from the desert pixies!"

Lucia wiped her red sad eyes, only to see C-U69 and RU before her. "Droids?" she said. "I mean... thanks Auntie. They're wonderful but... I wish I could hang around 'real' people instead of all these metal toys."

"It's just one more year, honey," replied Barass. "Now go clean them up and I'll prepare supper."

"Yes, Auntie," she groaned. "Well, c'mon you two."

Moments later, C-U69 was lowered into a cleansing oil bath to revive her joints clogged with sand. "Oh yesss!" said C-U69. "This is totally awesome. But... what is this stuff?"

"WD-69, especially designed for girl-bots!" replied Lucia.

"Well... I guess so! But I usually bathe in cocoa butter."

"Well, we don't get that stuff out here in the middle of nowhere," protested Lucia with a pout. "This is soooo not fair! I wanna go, I wanna go!"

"Like... what are you talking about?" asked C-U69.

"The space academy," replied Lucia as she immodestly squatted down in her micro-miniskirt to clean RU. "Well, you're sure dirty, little one! Where have you two been?"

"Oh-mah-gawd," replied C-U69 as she rose from the vat of oil. "Like... don't ask!"

Yet as Lucia began to scrape away some of the grime, suddenly a hologram appeared from RU's video interface. There stood the image of the beautiful Laida flickering on the floor. "Help me, Betty Cum Getonme! You're my only hope..." she said before flickering. "Help me, Betty Cum Getonme! You're my only hope..." she repeated, obviously a looping video replay.

"Betty? Betty Cum Getonme?" mumbled Lucia. "I wonder if she means old Beth Getonme."

"Who's that?" asked C-U69.

"She's a strange desert enchantress that lives not to far from here, but... who's that girl? I mean... she's beautiful! Look at her expensive little dress, those shoes, her coiffure hair, those perky breasts and those killer legs! Oh, she's gorgeous! I HATE her!"

"I'm not quite sure," said C-U69. "RU isn't talking about it. You'll have to excuse her. She's just a nerdy little bitch robot who likes to give me a hard time! But she says it's some kind of virus she picked up, an O/S bug. Probably have to reboot her!"

Suddenly, Lucia's aunt Barass called out again. "Lucia! Supper's ready!"

"Coming!" cried Lucia. "Well, I gotta go eat. See what you can do with her. I'll be back here in the morning." And thus Lucia left the garage for her dinner.

The next morning out on the desert farm, C-U69 frantically shook Lucia awake. "Mistress Lucia! Mistress Lucia!" she cried. "It's RU! She ran away... I mean... rolled away! She's gone!"

"Oh no!" groaned Lucia as she got out of bed. "Well, don't lose your oil over it! Let me get dressed and we'll go looking for her! I only hope we find her before Auntie wakes up!"

And a short while later after Lucia once again dressed in her little uniform that she would not get to use this year, they soared over the sand dunes in the hover car in search of the lost robot. "There she is!" cried C-U69. "In the canyon!"

"Oh great!" groaned Lucia. "That's where the Sand Vixens prowl. They thrash anyone who enters their turf, be they organic or robotic!"

"Like... oh-mah-gawd! Let's hurry," said C-U69.

Soon, the hover car came to a halt right next to the runaway pink barrel-shaped robot. "Okay, RU, let's go home," said Lucia. "I mean... our garage can't be that bad of a place for a little robot like yourself!"

But suddenly, a loud roar was heard as several motorcycles came leaping over the canyon rim. Riding upon them were the Sand Vixens! With savage war cries, they came upon them with rumble chains. Lucia screamed once before fainting out cold to the rocky ground.

Perhaps it would have been her end if not for the loud screeching of a most hideous beast that came from nearby. Instantly, the startled Sand Vixens mounted their cycles and fled the scene. However, fortunate for Lucia and her two robots, what approached was no terrifying creature. Instead, there came a robed figure from out of the rocky crags. She slowly knelt down to study the unconscious Lucia before pulling back her hood. There beneath shone the brilliant face of the wise Beth Getonme. "My, my, my! You look cute enough to eat in that little academy uniform." And thus she reached out and gently caressed a scratched bare knee, before slowly caressing up the inner thigh to her panty line.

"Eeeek!" shrieked Lucia as she came to. "That tickles!"

"The Sand Vixens were about to pass you around like candy," said Beth. "Come with me! They'll be back soon!"

A short while later, Lucia and her two robots sat inside Beth Getonme's humble abode near the canyon. "... and that's how we ended up in that god-awful canyon," said Lucia as she finished her anecdote as Beth gently finished patching the scraped knee. "But, why would my robot go looking for some enchantress of the desert?"

Beth Getonme sighed. "I'm not really an enchantress," she confessed. "Actually, I'm the last of the... Amazon Knights!"

"Amazon Knights?" gasped Lucia as her eyes grew wide. "YOU were an Amazon Knight?"

"Yes," replied Getonme. "And so was your mother. That is, until we were hunted down like dogs and slaughtered by the evil Darcy Vader! And now, I'm the only one left," she lamented. "Well... let's see just what this princess has to say."

Suddenly RU began to play the message as the image of Laida appeared. "Mistress Betty Cum Getonme, years ago you and my mother had a Sapphic relation during the old republic. And if I remember right, you felt me up a few times too! But anyway, she now begs of your help again in the revolution to rid the galaxy of Darcy Vader and her evil Empress. I tried to get to you, but I've been captured and will probably get dyke-raped. I've placed some highly illegal kiddie-porn into the memory of this RU unit. It also contains secret coding to save the galaxy. My mother will know how to retrieve it. Help me, Betty Cum Getonme! You're my only hope!" And with that, the image flickered and faded.

As such, Beth sat and stared into nothingness for quite a while, twitching in her chair as if rather randy. Yet finally, she looked over to Lucia. "You must learn the powers of the 'libido' and cum with me... to Nymphia!" she finally said.

"Nymphia! I can't go anywhere!" protested Lucia. "I mean... I've gotta get home! My aunt will be looking for me any minute and... oh-mah-gawd! This is all too heavy!"

"Lucia," said Beth rather sullen. "I'm not the young woman I once was. I need help. Learn the ways of the Amazon, and become an Amazon Knight, just like your mother! You have the power within you! Besides, you'd look rather cute in those skimpy costumes the Amazons used to wear!"

"Oh, I'd love to be an Amazon Knight but... I just can't right now!"

Nevertheless, Beth rose from her chair and opened an old trunk. "Y'know, I have something here that your mother wanted you to have, but your aunt wouldn't allow it." With that, she produced a glowing object with small studs and a rounded end.

"What is it?"

"It's your mother's combat dildo!" replied Beth. "Not only is it a powerful weapon, but it gives hellacious orgasms!"

"What's an orgasm?" asked Lucia.

Suddenly, Beth burst into a round of boisterous laughter, nearly maniacal with a trace of wickedness. "Funny you should ask," she said. "It's... it's something better demonstrated than explained with words. Lie down and relax. But... slide your panties off first!"

And thus Lucia reclined on the old worn-out sofa within the humble dwelling. She naively slid down her panties and raised her skirt as Beth approached. "Now just relax! Remember, Lucia. An Amazon must feel the libido, floooowwww through her!"

With that, she began to gently tease those soft fleshy inner thighs. The very sensation sent chills up Lucia's spine. Her eyes closed and her mouth gaped open. "Ooooh!" she gasped as her legs fell even wider apart. Then, the buzzing glowing tip made contact with those moistened lips. "Ooooh-gaaawwd!" cried Lucia.

"Feel the power of the libido, Lucia," whispered Beth.

"Oh-gawd! Oh-gawd!" gasped Lucia as the buzzing weapon began to soothe her throbbing clit. "I feel it! I feel it!" she cried out in ecstasy. "I feel the power of the libido! It feels sooooo gooood!" And thus Beth delicately caressed those pink privates all around with the vibrating glowing toy. All the while, Lucia gasped and moaned with her eyes tightly shut and mouth wide open. She slowly twitched and humped against that wonder tool until the trembling glow began to grow within her. Soon, she felt as if she might burst. "Oh-gawd! Oh-gawd! Don't stop! Don't stop! Doooonnn't sstooopppp!" she cried out.

"Let it happen, Lucia! Let it happen!" whispered Beth.

And soon she passed the point of no return. Moments later, she burst into a raging orgasm, her first ever. Nevertheless, it was quite intense as it sent her into massive convulsions. She cried out uncontrollably. "Ooooooh! Aaaaaaaah!" she screamed, her cries of ecstasy resounding across the desert for miles around. Her body ached with every orgasmic pulsation, yet for that brief moment, Lucia was in heaven. After several ear-shattering cries of pleasure, she fell unconscious for a few moments. But when she came to, she found herself staring into Beth's eyes glowing with passion and wisdom. "Oh, Beth... Betty Cum, whoever you are! I wanna go with you! I wanna learn the powers of the libido and be an Amazon like my mother before me!"

"Of course, my dear!" she said with a soothing voice. "Let's not keep the princess waiting! She's counting on us to save her! And as for me... I've just got to get at that little ass one more time before I die!"

Yes, after the soaring over the rocky desert soil in the hover car, they discovered the unspeakable. The Imperial Storm Vixens had burned the Slylicker homestead and murdered Auntie Barass. Poor Lucia cried herself into a stupor, but she knew now that she must become an Amazon Knight to avenge the savagery of the Empire.

Yet such a path was not easy. For after a long trek across the burning sand, they arrived at the township of Muff Eisley. "Most of the good freighter pilots can be found here," assured Beth as they came to a stop outside a rough looking tavern. "In fact, just about ANYTHING can be found here if you look deep enough! So watch your step!"

"Oh look!" noted Lucia as they passed by the marquee. "Bare Naked Ladies are playing here today!"

Yet once they entered, Lucia realized that Beth was right. Anything and everything lurked in the dark interiors of this particular dive. Beings from all over the galaxy gathered here for a drunken binge, and many of them were not of the friendliest stock. Yet the band played many lively tunes in order to keep it as peaceful as possible. When Lucia looked at them in the corner, there she found five tall thin alien girls with various instruments. Yet not one wore a shred of clothing. "Gee, they really ARE bare-naked ladies," mumbled Lucia.

And thus they approached the bar. Lucia wasn't sure among most of those aliens which one was male or female, and any pair could have been male/female, male/male, or female/female. Yes, all traces of any kind of gender convention whatsoever had vanished within these shifty walls.

Suddenly, a large burly alien of indeterminate gender or age began to hustle them. "Hey, granny! I don't like the way you look!" said the gruff voice.

Instantly, Beth turned around to face her antagonizer. "Oh really?" she said. "Well, the feeling is quite mutual. However, I'm not so shallow as to make a point of it!"

"Look bitch! This place ain't big enough for both of us!" roared the alien.

"Then perhaps you should diet!" snapped Beth. "Now calm down! I'll buy you a drink if it..."

Yet completely callous to her grace, the drunken alien drew a blaster pistol. But with lighting speed, Beth drew her light dildo and lunged at full force before the assailant could pull the trigger. "BbzzzZZZZzzz-whosh!" went her weapon as she struck the being, sending it flying across the floor. The energy force alone sent the creature into a blazing continuous paralyzing orgasm that cramped its abdomen up until the pain became unbearable. Once the creature was subdued, Beth stowed her weapon.

"We Amazon Knights believe in peace, love, and respect," she said with a smile, "...so don't FUK with us!"

Yet suddenly, all the aliens who happened to have female organs came rushing from out of the dark woodwork of the joint, all chattering in a multitude of alien languages. "What the..." gasped Lucia.

"Apparently, they all want a buzz from my weapon," concluded Beth before facing the crowd. "Unless you've got a fast ship to get us out of here, go on about your business!"

And thus the crowd all dispersed back into the dark recesses of the dive. Yet as the duo turned to face the bar, there stood a tall stout figure slowly suckling a drink. "I've got a ship," she suddenly said.

Beth looked upon her with interest. She had a jockette build, and she dressed half-butch, half femme. She had a spiked leather vest with short hair on top, long in the back. Yet she wore a rather short pair of black shorts with spiked boots that emphasized her long toned legs. Beth gazed for a few moments, liking her lips. "Okay, I'm interested... in the ship!"

The woman chuckled as she puffed on a long skinny cigarette. "Hanna Solo! Captain of the Perineum Falcon! She made the KY run in less than 12 parsex!"

"Uh, isn't that a measure of distance rather than time?" interjected Lucia.

At that, Hanna patted the pretty young nymph on the head. "Get a life, kid!"

But Beth only nodded in a polite gesture. "I'm Beth Getonme! Can you take us to Nymphia?"

"Well... you know the old saying," replied Hanna Solo. "Grass, gas, or ass! Nobody rides for free!"

"I'm sure the Grand Matriarch of Nymphia would happily pay the fare once we arrived," assured Beth. "However, if you prefer that last one, I'm sure we could arrange that!"

And after a few close calls, the Perineum Falcon blasted its way off the desert world and into space. Once they jumped to light speed, Hanna entered the main hold where Lucia sat proudly in her uniform rubbing baby oil on her bronze tanned legs. "Say, you're cute!" said Hanna as she sat down next to her at the round game table. "You an academy girl?"

"No... not yet," she said. "But at least someone notices me."

"You bet your ass...teroid, kid!" replied Hanna Solo. "Y'know, little uniform skirts are quite practical."

"How's that?"

"Because you can do this!" replied Solo. And thus she gently began to caress Lucia's bare leg ever so soft and gently with her fingertips. "You like that, don't ya, kid?!"

"Ooooh, it tickles!" confessed Lucia as her leg broke out into goose pimples.

"Sure! Why don't you sit on my lap here and tell me all about it!"

Soon, Lucia was facing Hanna as she straddles those thick muscular thighs. Solo's two hand worked their way up that little skirt and squeezed that panty-covered bottom. Then, their lips began to touch. Shortly after, they were exploring each other's mouth. "Hey, you know what would feel even better?" whispered Hanna. "Slide these panties off!"

It did not take much seductive effort before Hanna was holding Lucia upside down sans panties and worked her raw with that skilled tongue of hers. Lucia was moaning and squirming with the utmost desire. "Ooooh! Oooh-gaawwd! Don't stop! Doooonnn't ssstttoooppp!" cried Lucia as she squeezed those little bare legs about Hanna's face.

"C'mon, kid! Gi'me a squirt!" coaxed the lusty Hanna. "Give it to me, baby!"

"Oooooh-gaaawwd! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum!" cried Lucia.

All the while, Beth sat watching from another chair, her hand now quite busy. "Remember, Lucia, an Amazon's stamina flows from the libido!"

"Ooooh! Oh-oh-oh-oh..." cried Lucia. Then, she burst into a mighty super-nova of an orgasm, spewing juice into her older lover's face! "Ooooooh!"

Finally, she calmed down and Hanna sat her back on her lap. Now, their bare legs rubbed against each other. "Well kid, you got a lot of spunk!" she said. "And as I say to all my passengers, 'Cum again!'"

"I figured you get around," said Beth.

"Well, actually, that's not true. I mean... see that dildo collection over there on the wall? They don't call me 'Solo' for nothing!"

* * * * * *

Yes, don't miss the breath-taking "Star Whores!" See the daring rescues, the wrath of jealousy, and the skimpy costumes!

And be sure to catch the sequel, "The Empress Cums Back!" Hear the immortal line from Darcy Vader, "No, Lucia. I am your mother!"

And don't miss the following sequel, when Princess Laida says to Lucia, "You mean... Darcy Vader is your mother... OUR mother? That means you're my kid sister and that we... Eeeew! Double eeewww! I can't believe I actually... eeewww! I had lezbo incest with my sister!" But then again, she liked it.

"Star Whores" cumming this summer to a back-alley underground theater near you!