I Knew I Liked Girls

by Thom

I knew I liked girls when I was five or six. I had a best girl friend, Leslie who I used to play with all of the time. I never wanted to be away from her. When we were alone, we would take our clothes off and lie together and kiss. Leslie said she had seen her parents naked and kissing like that and that she wanted to be my husband and lie on top of me. Sometimes we would switch and I would be the husband and lie on top of her.

We showed each other how we played with ourselves. We would sit facing each other, the souls of our feet touching, our legs spread apart, digging into our cunnies and feeling good. Watching each other diddle and staring at each other in the eyes. This was the beginning of my fantasy life. When I jigged off by myself, I used to imagine being with my friend Leslie and it was that much better.

I also thought about other girls I knew and I thought about mothers of girls that I knew in the neighborhood. I had seen a lot of the mothers in the neighborhood in one state of undress or another so it was really easy to think about them when I masturbated. Leslie’s mother was really pretty and sometimes when I was thinking about masturbating with Leslie, her image would change into her mother’s image. Her mother was thin but had these really large, firm tits that I had seen one time when we were all changing at the community pool. She also had a great, dark bush of hair between her legs. I could really get myself off easily thinking abut touching it while I touched myself.

Of course I thought masturbating was all there was to sex for a little while. I did fantasize that I would touch the other mother’s tits because I could vaguely remember nursing on my mother and how good that felt. The reason I could remember it was that my mother nursed me until I was like 3 or 4. I can remember her being naked and I being naked lying on top of her like I was her husband, sucking on her breast. Her legs were spread a bit and my legs were between hers, laying on her cunny.

Maybe though that didn’t really happen and it was just part of my fantasy because when I thought about my mother while I was jacking off, that’s how I thought about her. I wonder if maybe I wasn’t rubbing my cunny on her leg or on her pubic bone when I was nursing or maybe she was diddling with me and I just didn’t realize it. I think I’ll ask her someday.

It was Leslie who had the idea that we should try some things on each other. Actually it turned out that it was Leslie’s baby sitter, Kendra, that had tried some things out on Leslie and Leslie was nice enough to teach me what she learned. It didn’t really come out that way, like it was a lesson or she was teaching me. Leslie and I used to play in the woods behind my house, like over the summer or after school when it was still warm and light. There was this enormous euonymus bush that was like 10 feet tall and half again as much around. It was all hollow inside. An adult could stand up in it but no one could see from the outside.

The summer right before we went to first grade, we were out there almost every day. My mother is a teacher so she has the summer off. Rachel’s mother has a job in the city so she didn’t get the summer off but my mother was happy to watch Leslie because then I was occupied and she could chill. Mom would make us sandwiches and a thermos of juice and we would pack up my little red wagon. Leslie and I would take a blanket to put on the ground inside the bush and we would bring our dollies to play with.

We had a great collection of Barbie’s and some regular kind of baby dolls. When I was on my own, before Leslie and I started our messing around with one another, stripping my Barbie’s was something that turned me on. I would line them up naked on my bed with their little legs spread and diddle for ever.

Sometimes Leslie and I would pretend that we were the mommies and that we had babies and sometimes the Barbie’s would be mommies and they would do mommy things like go off to work and shop and stuff. I think it was when we were pretending that the Barbie’s were our mothers that we started playing with our cunnies while we played with our dollies. I think we must have taken our mother’s clothes off (the Barbie’s that is) and Leslie told us about her parents lying naked, her dad on the top and she decided to put two of the Barbie’s together like that and pretend one of them was the husband.

Like I said, a naked Barbie was a trigger for me and I guess thinking about her dad lying naked on top of her naked mom, must have woken up something carnal in Leslie because we spontaneously started to rub ourselves over our shorts. Of course we both knew that it was a lot better to connect directly so I think we had our clothes off and were jigging ourselves in pretty short order. You know how memory is when you are that age? It could have all happened in one day or maybe it took a few days. Anyway, that was when Leslie thought that one of us needed to lie on top of the other and be the husband and kiss. We would do that for awhile touching ourselves while we were doing it and then we would sit like I said before, facing each other and masturbate.

One day though over that summer, Leslie had a new game that she thought she we should play with the dollies. She said it was called baby sitter. Leslie’s parents had been away for some reason from Friday until Sunday and left her with a 16 year old in the neighborhood that slept over at her house. Leslie would have normally stayed at our house if her parents were away but my parents and my dork brother went to visit my grandmother. I begged my mom to take Leslie or leave me with her baby sitter but it didn’t happen.

Leslie started to play the baby sitter game with the dollies a lot like the game we played where the naked husband got on top of the naked wife; we took the clothes off of our dollies and pretty soon off of ourselves. But then the game changed. One of the dollies was the baby sitter and one of them was the kid. The baby sitter and the kid were both naked, just like the husband and wife but they were getting out of the tub and drying off and going to get ready for bed.

Leslie demonstrated how the baby sitter doll would touch the kid doll between her legs and rub her hand on the kid doll’s cunny just like we rubbed our hands on our own cunnies. And then the baby sitter doll would put her mouth on the kid’s cunny. Leslie would move the dolly to show how the baby sitter would move its head between the kid’s legs and she would have the kid sit on the baby sitter’s face. I thought that was a real hoot, of course, until we tried it but that didn’t happen right away.

It was the baby sitter lying next to the kid with each of their hands in the other’s cunny that got us thinking we might like to try that and so we did. We started with our tried and true, naked husband lying on the naked wife. This day is so vivid in my memory that I recall that I was the husband that day and I remember thinking that I always wanted to be the husband from that day on and Leslie let me, at least for the rest of the summer. After we necked for awhile, we lie down beside each other and gingerly put our hands on each other’s cunny.

The sensation of having someone else’s hand on your cunny has a lot to be said for it. I mean jacking off is typically the best sex you get. So much of life is better imagined than actually lived and sex is at the top of that list. But the first time you connect with another girl around sex and you know that your sex and her sex, that is the outcome of your sex and her sex is dependent on the other person, well then you pay more attention to it.

I think this is basically what is wrong with sex with guys. Sex with guys is always about their sex and has very little to do with your sex. I know we should excuse them because as soon as they get an erection, all of their blood is in their dick and none of it is in their brain, so they can’t really think about anything except humping whatever hole is in front of them at the moment. For us, we don’t need much blood to fill our erection so we can think about the person we are with.

But, for sure, having Leslie’s hand on my cunny that afternoon was the top of all of the mountains I had climbed so far around my sexual being.

The baby sitter game progressed from there eventually to our squatting on each other’s faces while one of us lay on the blanket on our back. I recall that while I had Leslie’s cunny in my face and I was licking and kissing it, though I didn’t really know what exactly I was supposed to be doing, that I was playing with myself while she was thrashing above me.

After a few days or maybe a couple of weeks of playing baby sitter games like these with Leslie, I asked mom if she wouldn’t go away and leave Leslie and I home with Leslie’s baby sitter. Funny you should ask, my mother said and proceeded to tell me that she had to go to school for a couple of days in a row to get ready for school to start in the fall and that she had hired Leslie’s baby sitter to stay with us for both days. Whoopee I said and she didn’t understand why I would be so enthused to have a baby sitter.

The next time Leslie and I went to play in the woods I told her about the couple of days we were going to have with her baby sitter and we were particularly horny thinking about being with her and what we might all do together. Leslie said that Kendra had tits and a bunch of hair between her legs and when you put your mouth on her cunny it smelled kind of funny, not like when we put our mouths on each other’s cunnies. She also said that when Kendra put her mouth on your cunny, you knew she was there, not like when we did it and we didn’t know what we were doing. She didn’t say it that clearly of course at 6 years of age but now I know that’s what she meant.

We ganged up on Kendra the moment my mom left the house. Leslie just blurted out that she had told me everything that she and Kendra had done to one another and that we wanted to spend as much of the day doing stuff like that as we could.

Kendra didn’t even hesitate a moment to oblige us. She had her clothes off I think before we did. Leslie was right that when Kendra had her mouth on you cunny, you certainly knew it was there. That was the same when she had her hand on or in your cunny. You knew she knew what she was doing. The most fun we had was when she lay on her back and one of us was on her face and the other one was licking her cunny. We would do that for quite awhile and then we would switch.

I didn’t tell you that Kendra had a nice body, with firm tits and a flat belly. She had a little bit of hair on her cunny but it was trimmed pretty close. She showed us how to eat cunny so that it would get her off and it taught us how to eat each other’s cunny for when we played together again. Kendra had us practice on each other and even showed us how to eat each other’s cunny at the same time. A number she called that, 69, because the number when written side ways looks like two people look when they are eating each others’ cunnies at the same time.

Kendra, Leslie and I had two days of sex with one another. On the second day, Kendra got the idea that she should marry Leslie and I so that we would forever be together. Kendra found a copy of marriage vows someplace and we talked about how we were going to handle the man and wife part. I told Kendra that I was interested in being the husband but I wasn’t interested in being a man so that was how we did it, husband and wife and then just in case Leslie wanted to be the husband sometimes, we repeated the other way.

The three of us went out to the bush in the woods behind the house with our blanket and some sparkly apple juice to celebrate with. After we got inside the bush, we thought it appropriate to do the marriage naked since that is how we had pretty much spent our couple of days together. We took off our clothes and Kendra married us and then Leslie and I practiced all of the things Kendra had taught us. Kendra called that our honeymoon. She diddled herself while she watched us and then she couldn’t help herself but join in.

Those two days were grist for my fantasy mill for the longest time, probably right into high school when I started to have regular sex with someone that I was feeling in love with and dating. I did have a bit of a girlfriend experience in middle school. After those two days and then school starting, Leslie and I never had a ton of chances to be together. We did play in the woods the remainder of that summer before school and we did incorporate all of the things Kendra had shown us about girl/girl loving but without her it wasn’t exactly the same.

So by middle school all of the conversations that girls have with each other mostly had to do with boys because sex is pretty much all kids that age think about. By then, you know how it’s done and maybe you’ve done some of it with a boy or with a girl like I had. A lot of girls say their bi at that age but I really think they like sex but don’t want the dick thing to deal with. I know by high school most of the girls that I had come out to in middle school who said they were bi, had pretty much gone back in the closet and were dating boys.

Leslie and I had drifted apart by middle school. I was even more intensely liking girls and women too. There was this very young, new English teacher that I had the biggest crush on. I used to connect with her every chance I got and drop hints about how sexy she was. When I had a chance, I would flash her some up-skirt panty and it looked to me like she noticed. I was awfully tempted to not wear my panties one day and show her the real thing but I didn’t want to get in trouble since she hadn’t really indicated that she was interested. I think she was interested but she didn’t want to get fired her first year of teaching by getting caught doing a minor.

One night I came out to a group of close friends at an overnight. I don’t think any of them were surprised. Some were supportive and some were like yuck, how could you? and what about babies and shit like that. Later though after we had finally settled down and nearly everyone had gone to sleep, this one girl came and climbed into my sleeping bag and whispered to me that she liked girls too. We petted and kissed for awhile and we both got really hot and horny so we got up and went out to another room in the house where we could be alone.

We plopped down on the floor of the living room behind a sofa that was out from the wall and we pushed our T’s and panties away from our middle so that we could get to each other’s tits and cunnies. We didn’t want to take them all of the way off so that we could get them back on if we got caught but I don’t know how we would have explained being behind the sofa anyway; comparing notes about selling Girl Scout cookies? So it probably wouldn’t have mattered if we were naked or not, they would have known what we were up to.

Anyway, it was really hot because I hadn’t been with another girl since Leslie and that was like a million years before. We must have done each other for a couple of hours before we got tired and had to go to sleep. The thing is that she hadn’t done anything with a girl or a boy for that matter though she had done herself so everything I showed her was like brand new and it made me hotter to think I was doing a virgin and she was like totally amazed that I knew how to do what I did to her.

In the end we didn’t really love each other. I mean we had great sex when we got together. We would stay over at each other’s house and fuck when we could but both of us had like crushes on other people and not each other. We would spend our time talking about who we would like to have as girlfriends and date. When I was having sex with her, I used to pretend I was with whoever I had a crush on then.

It wasn’t until high school that I finally fell in love with someone that fell in love with me and we are still together. We were 16, Kendra’s age when Kendra taught me how to love up girls. We didn’t know each other at all until we met at a party at someone’s house whose parents were out of town. It was pretty wild and she and I had wandered off independently to get away from the noise and debauchery going on in the main part of the house. We got to talking and one thing led to another. I came out to her and her to me and we talked about our experiences. She, her name is Beth, had early experiences like me only hers was with her older sister.

So we were afraid the house was going to get busted by the cops since there was so much noise and booze and shit going on so we left together. I invited her over to my house, which was closest to spend the night and we began to hold hands on the way over. That night we talked and talked until really early in the morning and when we got into bed we didn’t really do much. We got naked but we just snuggled and held each other and petted and stuff like that. We didn’t really do serious stuff to one another for a couple of weeks because we were getting to know each other. I think that was a good way to start.

Now we have sex regularly and we’re out to everyone and even our parents seem to be okay about it. We’ve applied to the same colleges and whichever one we both get into we’ll go together and see what happens.