Peer Review, Session Three, Recording Eight - Final Recording

by Tritium

"I assume you don't just want me to repeat what I told you Friday?" The woman's head cocked oddly so she could look at the girl's face while not moving it from her chest.

"That's a fair assumption." Sam looked down at the woman. She was totally confused, but didn't show it on her face. She had no idea what she was doing, but wasn't about to let the woman know that. "Tell me about... when you first felt powerless to your ex."

"Powerless?" The woman was then confused.

"When you lost emotional restraint, when you could do anything for her; tell me of when you were powerless to her."

The woman gazed blankly past Sam, searching her memory. It was one thing to ask her to recount a tale based on some factually trivia; the first time participating in a particular act, with a personality type. It was much harder for her to discern when an emotional state started that in retrospect seemed like it had always been there. But it wasn't always there, and she could remember a time when it wasn't. She could remember when she and her ex were just girls experimenting with each other's bodies; when they giggled after every kiss, and still talked about the boys they wanted to date. Then it all changed. When did it change?

"Seventh grade," The woman finally spoke.

Sam had begun to worry that she had lost the woman; that she was not going to answer. "OK, go on."

"I was at her house, sitting on her bed. We had been fooling around on a regular basis, but never really identified what we felt for each other yet. We wouldn't for a while after that. We were just talking, gossiping really, and her mother came up to her room. She had gotten a package in a plain cardboard box; it only had her name and address and a return address. Her mom questioned her about what was in the box, but she just kept on avoiding the question. Her mom gave up after about ten minutes, and left us alone.

"She got off the bed and locked the door, which meant to me, that we were going to make out, and perhaps finger each other. We had developed quite the routine, and it was fun, if a little unimaginative. While I was busy undressing, she opened up the box with a big grin. She had somehow managed to order a dildo and harness from the internet. We were eleven and twelve at the time, and this was over ten years ago; it was not nearly as easy to get one of those prepaid credit cards at the time, and I have no idea how she found the site to buy it from.

"The sight of the object forced chills of fear down my body, which intensified and mixed with curious arousal when she stated to put it on. She was wearing a skirt... almost a cheerleading skirt, but not as gaudy, and the phallus was pushing up the front... it was surreal and erotic to me, but I didn't feel ready... I knew I wasn't ready, but I could not say no to her. She told me, a little exasperatedly, to finish taking off my clothes and that she wanted to have some fun with her new toy.

"I was hesitating, and she was getting confused. I had to tell her that I was no ready to lose my virginity, and that may have been an excuse or the truth, it does not matter. Her grin took an evil shape and responded with 'If I can't have your pussy, then I'll take your ass.' It wasn't a threat, but a fact. Because she said it like that, I found I could not resist her. I didn't hesitate any more. I striped, and got on all fours on the bed.

"I was so afraid... maybe apprehensive is a better word... that I slammed my eyes shut, and did not open them the entire time. It felt like hours waiting for her to climb on the bed and kneel behind me. When the cool, slick silicone touched my cheeks I gasped, and my body clenched. She waited for me to relax, and pushed forward, guiding the toy to my anus, and let it stay there, with steady, constantly increasing pressure until my ass eased and allowed the toy in.

"The toy was too big, and it hurt more than it should have, I have come to realize, but I wasn't about to stop her. Something about the act, even though it was not that directly pleasurable, soaked me. As she started to push the toy deeper into me, I whimpered in pain, but that was drowned out by the moans that I could not contain. She was controlling me. I was doing what she wanted, and that thought alone made me cum.

"She wasn't wearing the harness right, and was inside me for a very long time before the toy made her orgasm from fucking me. When she was done, and out of me, I turned around and looked at her with what must have been pitiful eyes, because she awed at me, and pressed her body to me. We held each other and kissed, until her afterglow faded.

"We took some time to catch our breath, and hide the toy from her mother. When we were convinced that her standard hiding spot was good enough, we returned to her bed, me still nude, and her still in her skirt. She had lost her top along the way.

"I laid in her arms for a little while, kissing her occasionally and blushing the entire time. I let my hands hold her sides, whilst hers caressed my arms and back. Had I known what I was doing then, and been a little bit braver, I would have gone down on her, right then. I don't know if my inexperience saved or ruined the moment, but I am glad to have that moment seared into my memory forever."

The woman was almost upbeat while recounting her tale, but when she got to the end, her depressed tone returned. She reached up to cup Sam's cheek. "Don't let her go." The woman stayed in Sam's arms. "How did you meet your girlfriend?"

Sam smiled a little. "Our last names are one letter off. We were assigned lockers and desks next to each other for every class we shared, which in our freshman year was a lot of classes. Is that the question you wanted to ask though?"

The woman thought about it, and responded flatly. "No. It isn't."

"Sine qua non - Without which, there is nothing; it's a Latin phrase that my girlfriend told me. She told me than when she thought of me, and the thought of being without me, it was like looking into oblivion. She talks like that, especially when she is on one of her sci-fi kicks. I have to say, it's apt for how she makes me feel."

Sam fell silent for quite some time, and just laid there, stroking the head of the older woman at her breast. It was not long before the woman's soft sobs were audible. Sam started to feel miserable; she had done more damage than good and she knew it.

"Please." The woman pleaded softly. "Keep talking. I don't care about what." The woman could sense Sam's growing discomfort at the idea of idle rambling. "Tell me about when you first met... made love to... your step mother." She made that request hoping it would not bring forth more regret and despair in herself regarding her own lost love.

"My step mother was, and still is, a fitness instructor at the gym my mother went to at the time, when I was about ten." Sam took a deep breath, and relaxed, resolute in the fact that she would be doing no more harm with this story. She hoped she wouldn't at least. "One day, mom brought her home, I don't know how, and made love to her. She had intended it to be a one-night-stand like most of her lovers, for fear that my soon to be stepmother would find out about the relationship she had with her daughters, and turn her in. That changed the next morning.

"I had woken up atypically late for school that day, and was rushing through my morning preparation. I am not one to skip a shower, and apparently neither was she... my stepmother. She hadn't started the water, but had drawn the curtain when I entered the bathroom. I was tired and didn't notice she was in the shower before I stripped myself of what little clothing I slept in the night before and stepped into the tub.

"She was gorgeous; slender, tanned with no tan lines, and her breasts were not too big. I hate huge breasts; they look painful. She had blonde hair, but she was a fake blonde; she had highlights and lowlights. It didn't look fake, but if you know what to look for, you knew that she was a natural brunette. She had no body hair, save the slightest hint of stubble on her sex; had she been home the night before, she would have shaved it.

"She stared at me for quite a while, in shock I'm sure. I stared at her for just as long, but I was still trying to get my bearings. I did not know who she was, though I could have guessed it was one of my mother's soon to be cast away lovers. It was a shame, I remember thinking, that she cast away so many attractive women. Before she could speak, I could smell her arousal. That smell is the best part of waking up, no matter what the Folgers jingle says." That comment drew a chuckle from the woman.

Sam continued. "I held my finger to my lips while grinning to her. I wanted her to remain quiet, which she did for the most part. I slowly approached her like you would a wild animal; no sudden movements, keeping myself small as to not scare her away. I pressed my body softly to hers, letting my face nuzzle against her chest. She was tense and hesitant. I knew I would have to lead if this were to work.

"I wrapped my lips around one of her nipples and suckled gently, my hands glided over her hips and thighs. When she relaxed some, I moved a hand to her belly, caressing it softly, each movement taking my fingers lower. I did not touch her sex at first; I moved past it and caressed her inner thigh, which caused her legs to wobble. She stepped back, and a pain of fear jabbed my spine.

"She grabbed onto the towel rack above and behind her head, closed her eyes and took deep breaths. When she opened them, she nodded to me. I remember feeling victorious then. I knew this would work, and she would not flee. I moved to her again, placing my hands and lips where they had been prior. Her body reacted the same as it did before, but with her new bracing, she remained steady. I let her get comfortable with me touching her before I slid my hand up and cupped her sex.

"Despite appearances, her sex was smooth to the touch, which made it easier to caress and massage. Her arousal didn't hurt matters either; she was soaking wet. I pressed my finger between her lips to find her clit whilst craning my neck so my mouth could meet hers. She kissed eagerly, and I found that cute, and reassuring. As my finger glided back and forth slowly across the sensitive nub, she began to moan into my mouth. When my finger tip pressed against her entrance, it was only there long enough to feel her contract in orgasm.

"When she had regained herself at least a little, she took my hand from her sex. She broke the kiss, and brought my hand to her lips, where she somewhat lewdly sucked my fingers clean. It was about then that mom opened the curtain. God, if there was more time, I'm sure she would have joined us. I think she fell in love with my stepmom right there. There is no sexy ending to this story... I still needed to get clean and get to school, and that's what I did, rather hastily."

The woman sighed contentedly. "Thank you." The women laid in silence for what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. "What now?" The woman asked the question not of what they were to do next in the moment, but of the essential nature of love and life, and all which was worth living. She was lying to herself. She was asking the girl what to do next in her love life; her specific dilemma.

"We have done for each other, all that we can do. It's time to go home, and make some decisions."