Fifteen

Copyright © 2019-2020 by VeryWellAged

Back to Commitments, obligations and the cable company...3

Author's note: These chapters are NOT stand-alones...The story starts here.

Commitments, obligations and the cable company...4

The ride back home with all three of us on the bike is not something I want to become the norm. It is all the more important I get that damned van.

That is what is front and center in my mind as I walk into the house and into a very angry Lexi.

Why you do that?

Do what?

Think you need to bribe us?

Why do you think I am bribing you?

The … what it called? The trust? Yes, why the trust? You think we will leave?

No.

Then why you bribe us?

I am not bribing anyone.

But we only have it if we stay, correct?

Yes.

So it a bribe!

No, it is not. It is to protect those who do stay. To make sure that those who stay are not hurt by those who have left! Look, you will get an education. Maybe then you all get good jobs. Maybe one of you is offered a job that takes you away from me. I won’t force any of you to stay. But I do want to protect those who do stay.

No one is leaving!

How can you know that?

You not know us! You not know the Filipina! Change it!

Change what?

The agreement. We all part. No one can be removed. That what!

I am looking at the rest of them. They all seem to be in agreement, except for Lyn. She has a different idea. I can see it on her face.

Lyn, what do you think.

No need for the trust. Do not do it.

I think you are all missing an important fact. I can and will do things to protect each of you and could do it without this trust. The trust is as much for me as it is for you. I need it for my own needs!

Lyn is not biting. How? It is less a request for information than it is for me to prove the statement.

I want to build a house. A place that is ours and not something we lease. I can’t do that on my own as I am not allowed to purchase land. That is why I need you to own the land as a trust.

These girls have never lived anywhere where they or their family has owned the land. Many Filipinos are simply squatters. There is a legal term for it here and laws to protect such folk. The legal term is ‘informal settlers.’

The fact that I will build us a house of our own on land is as outside their imagination as if I said I was born on the moon.

Now Lyn is crying; Mel is bawling again; Lexi just looks completely perplexed.

Jana is smiling and asks, When we going to look for the land? We get the van on Tuesday, correct? Maybe we look starting next Wednesday? Then we all go and see, OK?

But before I have a chance to respond, and for what it is worth, if we get some other motorcycles we can go looking sooner, we all hear from Lexi. You build a house for me and my baby? Craig… you really do this for us?

I am doing it for all of us.

OK, you right. This not a bribe, and you are taking care of my baby. But you must drop the requirement!

Why?

What if I die? Then my child not part, correct?

Is she thinking of a death in childbirth? I guess that might be less uncommon here than in the USA. But she has a point. Even if it is ten years from now and a coconut falls on her head, we have the same problem. I hadn’t considered that.

Lexi, how about if I add in as immediate members, any child any of you give me. Does that cover your concern?

You can do that?

I think so.

OK. That work.

Good. … Does anyone else have a complaint?

Maybe that has come off a little too testy but I guess the jetlag is still with me a bit. I am fatigued and mildly frustrated, plus the tension I felt when at Trujillo’s has not fully abated. I know in the end he was all good with what I want, but the intervening time until then really took a toll on me.

Lyn sidles up next to me, puts an arm around me, kisses me on the cheek and announces that there are no more problems. They were just confused. No one ever expects such things to happen in their lives.

OK, I can see that being true. Just like I never expected to have seven girls.

Look, there are going to be a lot of things changing for you. No one should think any of it is a bribe. There are good reasons for all I have in mind and not one of those things have anything to do with bribes. Are we clear? … Lexi? … Lyn?

I get what I gather is acceptance. And that sure as hell is good because I am about to lay a bunch of it out.

Tomorrow Lyn, Jana and I are going to buy two more motorcycles. They will be for getting to your school and running errands. I want everyone here, who can to get a license. Understood?

Little May pipes up, Why two?

Because the land we buy will be further out of town. That will make it cheaper to buy and we can buy a larger lot more easily. That means we will need to have vehicles. We already have one bike. We will have a van. If we have two more bikes, I think for now we will be OK.

Lyn is taking all this in and not commenting. Jana scrunches up her face and ask, How far out?

Not too far. When we were looking around the area before I left last time, I noticed that the land keeps on getting higher the further north you go. I also noticed that the land is less settled in just a mile, I mean a kilometer, north of here. I am hoping we can find something there.

Jana seems satisfied, but May is now concerned.

That means we can’t walk to school.

True, but it also means that we will be able to take you. Especially if we put a tricycle cab on one of the bikes. Mel, can you operate a motorcycle?

I see eyebrows. She can.

There is something else we need to discuss, May. This is as good a time as any. You have already lost your virginity and want back in my bed. Correct?

I get eyebrows again.

And you, Jocelyn, you want to join me that way, too, correct?

Two more eyebrows go up even more firmly.

And you Katrina, as soon as you turn fourteen, want the same thing, I think.

Yes, Po¹.

May, do you understand that you might have become pregnant, even that one time? Do you understand that if you return to my bed, there is a strong likelihood that you will become pregnant?

May is just staring, not saying a word.

The same will be true for you Jocelyn and you Katrina. If you become pregnant, how do you think you will be going to school?

I see lightbulbs beginning to turn on.

Jocelyn is fumbling around, squirming as she forms the question she needs to ask. Are you telling us we can’t be your girlfriends?

You three are already my girlfriends.

No, that not right. We not true girlfriends. Not like the others.

You are to me.

You are being difficult, Sir! You mean we not have sex with you?

No, I am saying, if you want to continue with school, you need to understand what happens if we make love.

We have to decide now?

No, you should not. You should talk with the others, and with your parents. You should take as long as you need to make the decision. This is a serious thing. If you get pregnant, you can’t get unpregnant without giving birth.

We make the decision?

Yes, but I hope you will talk with others and take your time. You want me to treat you as my girlfriend. That means you want me to treat you as an adult. OK, act like an adult. Think this through. Be careful. Think about Lexi. …  She will not be going to school the second semester this school year for the simple reason that she will be giving birth right after the end of the first semester. … But she can return to the university next year. But that doesn’t work the same way for you. You can’t just take a semester off.  You have two more years of high school.

There is now total quiet in the room. Maybe I did this wrong, but is there a right way to do this? There is no reason in the world why these three young ones should be mine in any other world. Still, they are, and they need to come to terms with what that means.

What will they decide? I have no idea. I have no idea what Jana and Lyn are thinking. A pregnancy will screw up their educational plans, though, even should they get pregnant now they will be able to complete the first semester.

I have read that reliable birth control is hard to get here in the Philippines. There are condoms, but all too often something goes wrong with them.

Do I care? Does it really matter to me, should they choose one path or the other?

Up until this very moment, I had never considered that this was even a question. There is deep within me this concept that men don’t fuck children.

Yes, yes, I know… Lexi is a child in the eyes of society in the USA, but is she really? She was on the edge when I first took her, and now? Now I don’t see her as a child.

But, May, Jocelyn, and Katrina… in my Dorchester eyes, they are children. Deep in my acculturated psyche, I never asked myself if it matters to me.

This is not my world. It is theirs. To say that is not a cheap ‘get out of jail free’ thing. It is the literal truth. I have been told three times already that ‘foreigners are not allowed to stay here as a right, rather it is a privilege that we are allowed to stay.’ It is a privilege … a courtesy that can be revoked at any time.

This is their nation and they establish the rules. They decide what is permissible. Three mothers, and one father, put three girls under my roof. That was their decision, apparently happily made.

So, once again, does it matter to me, which path each of them chooses to take?

I can tell myself that it shouldn’t. I can rationalize that this place runs on a different set of rails. And it is more than a rationalization. It is the absolute truth.

So why does it bother me? Why do I want those three mothers and one father to stand up and say, ‘No, this is not OK!’ I pretty well know they will do no such thing.

I do know that I will accept their individual decisions. Knowing that makes my head hurt all the more. I need to accept the decision of two fourteen-year-old girls and one not even fourteen.

Oh, Father Dan, pray for my soul. … But, Father, do me a favor — don’t tell Lexi you have done it!

The girls have all scattered to accomplish whatever they need to accomplish. I am left to my thoughts and now to a book, which keeps me company until I am called to dinner.

Dinner is fine. Mel is a good cook and the dinner table conversation revolves around the need for driver’s licenses. None of them have such a thing. It turns out that while they know many who have motorcycles, not a one of these individuals has a license… or a helmet for that matter.

The girls tell me there are orange shirted enforcers who will pull riders over and check for such things, impounding the bike if not found, so all the riders seeing the orange shirts ahead just wait by the side of the road until the enforcers leave their assigned post.

I gather the enforcers can’t go after the riders who hang back. They can see them but not go towards them. The orange shirts stand out loudly on the road.

Is the plan to just get the truly stupid riders off the road? Anyway, I want these girls all to have licenses as well as helmets.

There is texting to relatives who know folks who do have licenses to learn what is needed. And then, glory be, one relative has a friend who works at what they refer to as the LTO², which I gather is their version of our DMV.

There is a side discussion about what they want me to purchase. My bike is far too big in their eyes. They want something far smaller. They think smaller is safer and smarter. I don’t know, maybe it is. But nothing will be safe unless they are wearing real shoes and not flip flops, slacks and not dresses or shorts with bare legs, and not unless they are wearing gloves, not to mention helmets! I have seen no safety equipment or sensible attire on any rider here. No one.

What I have seen are kids in t-shirts, shorts, flip-flops, and nothing else threading through traffic. It is a frightening sight, and unfortunately, a common one.

The girls know my feelings on this, as I have spouted forth on the subject a couple of times. There is no reason to discuss it now.

At no time does the buying of land and building a house arise. But the fact that it doesn’t is more a case of not having a mental box to fit it in. It is so far outside their life experience that they have no reference point at which to start a conversation. Maybe it will as we start actually looking for land.

The dishes are cleared. With seven sets of hands, all is cleaned and put up in no time flat. I am retiring back to my current book when Lexi comes to me and plops down on my lap.

Craig, … ummm… do you … And then nothing further is spoken, but tears appear.

I hold her tightly, kiss her cheeks and wait.

You want the baby?

Yes. Of course! Why do you ask?

You never tell me… you know… you never say…

Say what?

How you feel?

Have I been mean to you?

Not what I mean! Oh! Why you not know?

And then, I think I do know.

Do you mean, I have never told you I love you?

Yes! Yes! Why? Why you not say it? You not love me?

Lexi, I love you and I want our child. Truly, I do.

Really?

Yes, really.

Why you not tell me this?

Why is it needed? Do I not act with love?

Why you not say it?

Is saying it important?

Yes!

What if I say it but not act that way?

Huh?

Well, words are just words. Actions have meaning. Words can be untrue. Actions are not.

Confusing! It important you say it, Craig. You not say it to any of us. This is true.

I just hold her, kissing her neck and cheek. We are quiet. She, a girl who carries my child, and me, the old father. She is my girl. I do love her and value her. She, who arrived initially under a cloud and has proved herself to be special and important. She, who perceived the error in my land trust conditions, as it might hurt her child. She, who I have a special place for in my heart. Lexi is no one’s fool. And that makes her presence here all the more important as I navigate a world I often do not understand.

Me and Jana tonight?

Yes.

Jana loves you too. Tell her!

OK, Lexi, OK.

Good, I go now.

And off she goes.

I settle in with my book and get maybe three pages read when Jana appears and sits on the arm of my chair, leaning into me, with an arm around my shoulders.

Craig, please tell Lexi that you love her. She scared.

I did.

When? She not hear it!

How do you know that?

We talk this morning. She tell me.

Ask her now.

You tell her?

Yes. I told her I love her. I do love her, and I love you, Jana. Why do you girls think I don’t have love for you?

You not say it!

What is more important? The act of loving or the words?

Both! Need both!

Jana, I am building a world for all of us. Why would I do that for all of you if I didn’t love you? Why?

Because we take care of you?

There! Damn! She sees it. She sees the quid pro quo. She is completely cognizant of the economic reality that defines our life together. Do they all? They must, right? Is that why they want to hear me say I love them? Is it the balm to cover the wound they feel for making the deal which they have made with me? If I love them and they love me, then the reality can be whitewashed and we all move forward with head high?

Couldn’t I just hire maids for that? Why send you to school? Why buy the motorcycles?

I don’t say, I am doing it to assuage my guilty feelings. I don’t say I am doing it to try to salvage some good out of this wrong. No, I have obfuscated. I will continue to, as well. I don’t see like I have any choice in the matter. Besides, I am falling in love with them. At least I think I am.

So why you not tell us?

Jana! I was telling you via my actions!

You have to say it, silly. It needed. And that is followed by a nice kiss before she also scoots away to some unknown task.

It takes a bit before I can free my brain of the tunnels of confusion I am lost within. But finally, I can return to me reading.

I have about ten pages read this time before Katrina appears some ten paces from me and asks, Sir Craig, it OK if we talk?

Yes, sure. It’s fine.

Why you make us decide?

Huh? I am not sure what you are asking.

Why we have to decide to have a baby or not? We are your girls. You decide this. We will agree.

I want to tell them that this is the way a child sees a parent but not how a girlfriend sees her guy. Yeh, I want to, but I don’t know this culture and I need guidance. Maybe I am wrong. After all, even in the USA, women were chattel until about one hundred years ago and men did have the say over adult women. Is it similar to that here now?

Katrina, before I answer, would you please ask Lyn to join us here?

OK, Po.

Lyn appears a few minutes later with Katrina in tow.

Before I can ask Lyn anything, she announces, Craig, we really need a karaoke system. The girls all want to sing.  

OK, we can discuss that later. I need to ask you some questions and I need to hear the complete truth. OK?

Trouble? I in trouble?

No Lyn, you are not in trouble and since all seem to be wondering today, I do love you. Now, please calm down and listen… I do not understand your culture well enough and I need clarity. … When a woman becomes a girlfriend, is it her right to decide when she is ready to have children? Or is it the guy who decides?

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Commitments, obligations and the cable company...5