Mother’s Day

I am guiding the knife over the wood. I am minding my own business. It is a sweet day. The girls are laughing and enjoying life not that many paces from me. The breeze is gentle today, but enough that no fan is needed.

It’s overcast. In the States, we might well call it gloomy. We might say the absence of the sun brings on a dour feeling. We celebrate sunshine and call a sunny day, a good one. Here it’s the opposite. A good day is an overcast one. It’s cooler and the skin will not darken.

And so today’s overcast is pleasing to the girls. 

The kitchen will be cooler and I have no doubt that part of Jecim’s offer of a fine supper was connected to the fact that it will be cooler as they cook today.

That is not to say that the offer was without real caring and love for her Uncle. Surely, there is. But in all we do in our life, the practicalities do factor in. To deny it makes no sense.

I call out to Jecim and a minute later she is at the door. What you want?

Call your mother and ask her when is a good day for us to come over, and what can we bring. We are not coming without bringing something, unless she doesn’t want me to come.

Ah! I see you learn our custom good. OK I ask.

If you just ask, what can I bring, and you are a foreigner, you will be told, ‘not needed, just come.’ To that I say, bullshit. Her mother, sweet gal that she is, would have done that. Now she will tell Jecim what to bring.

I return to the wood. I guess it is therapy, good for my mental health. Ha… now that I think about it, I am sure there are some who would call me mentally ill, considering how I live. Oh well, mental health always is laden with political and societal baggage. In fact, much of it has nothing to do with health and everything to do with prevailing norms of the culture, the society.

Sure, some of it is real. If you are hearing voices telling you to kill, you are simply nuts. But most of what passes for mental health practice has nothing to do with that. … now why was I thinking about shrinks? Oh, yeh, the wood as therapy. Yup, back to the wood.

I am sitting down on the terrace when I hear, Ay-oooo! Ay-oooo!

Rising I go to the gate to find a woman there I do not recognize.

What do you want, Madam?

Sir Ronald?

Yes, who are you?

No remember? No good English, Cebuano?

Dili. Wait!

I call for Jecim to come quickly. I don’t move, as that might signal to the woman that I am refusing her. I am not, but I need to hand this off to Jecim who can speak with her.

And so I stand there, useless and frustrated that I can’t speak the language. The reality is that I am no damned good at languages. It has always been that way, ever since I tried to learn French and Latin as a kid.

Jecim does appear and engages the woman. Not more than three sentences pass between them before Jecim is opening the gate ushering the woman into the house and calling to the others, in a very excited voice. Just as Jecim disappears from view, as she herself enters the house, does she turn around and tell me I am an idiot for not remembering that this is Myra’s mom.

Well, she doesn’t look angry. That’s a good start. Why she is here when she knows Myra won’t be here is puzzling. But then, as I have no clue as to what is being said, I am at a huge disadvantage.

I just stand there at the gate for a bit, stupefied. Well, fuck, there is no way I am going to be able to settle down with the wood now. I decide that maybe I can learn something by going inside.

Entering, I see them all at the dining table. A bowl of lomi is in front of the woman, who has just tasted it and announces, Lamian nga!¹

It is no surprise that she likes it. But once again, this does not look like an unhappy woman. So what’s up?

There is this thing that Filipinos do to point. They use their lips. Vieve is indicating to me via this silent manner to sit down next to her.

As I sit down, the woman stands up, walks over to me gives me a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek. Now I am totally lost. Would someone please explain what is happening?

Jecim has a grin as large as is possible, and tears on her cheeks. But she is trying to explain. Roland, we not know much yet, but she is very happy with you. Both because you love Myra and are good to her, and because you have refused Alida. That’s all we know so far. Wait and I will explain when she says more.

I’ll be damned. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting that. Yeh, I heard the stuff about me loving Myra, and no, I’m not touching that in any manner. Let it be. I never said I did and so what someone else says about me is not my problem. Anyway, I know Myra thinks I love her, so that is where her mom gets the message. For the record, I don’t know, or at least I don’t remember, the gal’s name.

You can see the resemblance between Myra and this gal. Age changes you, and I am a prime example of that, but it is there. She must have been a real beauty at one time in her life. She ain’t exactly bad right now. I suspect she is in her mid-fifties. If we were in the USA, all would say she is too young for me. Here no one would ever think such a thing. Too old, yes, but not too young.

I haven’t had another word from Jecim, but as Myra’s mom knows about these gals and she knows Myra is one of them, she is not going to be a problem for me. She also knows I don’t want Alida here, and seems genuinely happy about that. I sure want to know more. There is a vigorous conversation going on, so I gather there is much to learn.

And then I hear, what I think Jecim is saying, ‘Wait, I will tell Rolie’.  Yup, that’s what she must have said because the gal says OK and waits.

Marjune say she know about Charline. Your wife bad and you right in what you do. No one blame you. She say she happy she find you.² She not think her youngest daughter ever be happy because of two things. Alida orders her around and make her life bad. She dream of a man who cannot be and want no one else. You that man and now Alida not order her. You make her little one happy. This never happen before. She say Myra always different. She not understand all but she different.

I nod and smile at Marjune, as I now know her name. Jecim continues.

It good that Alida back at her house. Now Analiza³ is happier. Analiza not happy before when the child is away from her. (I gather Marjune is saying that her granddaughter was unhappy when she was living in the apartment with Alida and Myra.) Rolie, Jezryl and Vieve right, Alida a bad mom. Too selfish. Always arguing. She not care if Alida go away but not want to see Analiza hurt, so better if Alida there. She agree with you, this not a good place for Analiza. She not mean anything bad, she just know, this not right for the girl. She know what you say last night. She know you just try to make sure Alida give up the bad behavior. She know you not want to hurt the child. Myra tell her this many times.

Jecim pauses, I think to catch her breath if for no other reason. There is nothing for me to say. I just sit and smile. Evidently there is more to come from Jecim.

I tell her she welcome to come visit at any time. She always be honored guest. She happy to hear this and hopes that there another grandchild she visit in the future. I tell her that you hope so too! And with that a big smile is in evidence on the faces of each of my girls.

All I can say is, Good. You spoke correctly.

OK, you can go now. We will not talk about you anymore. Now it just gossip! We are happy. Maybe she play cards!

My three gals are sixteen. Marjune has to be about thirty-five years older, but it makes no difference. There is no generation gap. They are really having a good time. Oh, if there were others who were older, Marjune might well gravitate to the older ones, but it is not a given. Not here.

I decide I can with equanimity return to the wood and exit to the terrace. I know all I probably need to know. Alida is a bad mom, but it looks like Marjune is a good one. If Marjune thought that having Alida here would solve the problem for her… getting rid of the problem daughter and keep the good granddaughter, I would have had a very different feeling about her. But I gather she realized, just as I did, that separating mother and daughter, even a problem mother, can be a big mistake.

Marjune has decided that she can be the good de facto parent, while Alida pays attention to no one but Alida. So long as Alida is in the picture, Marjune figures, it will work out. I suspect she is right.

Marjune leaves mid-afternoon, but as she leaves she stops on the terrace, is shown some of the figures I have carved which she seems to make a fuss over. I ignore all of it. As she leaves, she comes over to me and plants another kiss on my cheek. She says, Thank you, and takes her leave of us.

My three each take a seat on the terrace. As it is pretty clear that we are going to be talking, I lay down the wood. They take that as the signal to start and Jezryl starts out with, See! Me and Vieve right. Alida a bad mother!

Yes, you were, but Marjune is not. If the child…

Analiza…

OK, if Analiza is with Marjune, then she is getting good parenting. Marjune does not want Analiza to come here. I think from what Jecim said earlier, that is Marjune’s feelings, or did I misunderstand?

Jecim offers that I got it correct. And so, while it is nice to know that the kid will be well cared for, it doesn’t answer how we move forward if Alida agrees to the terms we laid out last night.

So girls, I fail to see what we do about the offer we made to Alida. Marjune, sweetheart that she is, just torpedoed it. That’s why she came, or didn’t you figure that out?

Ha! They didn’t have a clue. It is dawning on them now. Each looks shocked for, I suspect, different reasons. Vieve starts laughing. I can’t help but laugh with her. The other two can’t figure us out. Vieve and I ignore them. Getting her laughter under control, she asks, When you figure that out?

As soon as Jecim said… and I think I have it right… ‘Marjune knows Alida’s a bad mom, but she, Marjune, cares for Analiza. Marjune doesn’t care if Alida leaves, except that she doesn’t want to see Analiza hurt, so it is far better if Alida stays there too.’ … By saying that, she is telling us that there is to be no separating of Alida from Analiza and Analiza is not to come here. She is to stay with Marjune. As far as I can tell, she could not have been clearer. … What was it Vieve? Was it the flattery of you three that caused you to miss the message?

Yes! She so nice to us, we not hear what she say!

She’s not stupid. She came to deliver a message and did it in a way where no one got upset. The message was clear, but she didn’t have to do it in a mean way and she didn’t. I like the gal. I hardly see what she is doing as selfish. It may be, but I suspect she is right on all points. Nothing else can be done about this until Myra comes home. Oh, and the reason she came when Myra is not here is that Myra is more used to her mother’s way of getting her way. It is easier for Marjune with Myra not here. Alida didn’t learn persuasion in a vacuum, it’s just that Marjune’s is not for entirely selfish purposes.

I wish I had a mother like that.

I know, Vieve. And that is why she fool you, right?

Yes. I so busy jealous, I not see what she doing! You know, I bet Jelou know if she here.

And on that note, the meeting is over. It is close to four and, while I have a little more time for the wood, I call it a day, clean up out here and go in to shower and change.

By the time I am back downstairs, Myra is home and all are waiting for me to appear. Myra knows something is up, but not what. All she has been told is that she has nothing to worry about. There is some back and forth teasing going on as I enter the room. No one seems tense.

I sit down, and as I do Jecim pops up to get me a beer. Evidently she figures I need one. Maybe I do. That she didn’t get it earlier is only because she knows I like my beer cold, without ice. And so, she retrieves one from the fridge, and pours it into a thermal mug before handing it to me and reseating herself. She’s a keeper.

Myra can’t stand it any longer.

What happen?

I take a drink. San Miguel really is a pretty good beer. Putting the mug down I take some pleasure in saying, Your mother came by today.

What!?!

She’s a really nice gal. We all like her a lot and we invited her back again.

Why she come?

Oh, I think you know, but I will give you the very short version. Alida and Analiza are not to come here. There is no option where that is ever going to be OK.  And Alida is never to leave Analiza behind. There is no option where that is ever going to be OK.  The only thing else she said was that she was happy with me, happy you have a man to love you who you love and she hopes for a grandchild from us. That is all of it.

She really say that? How you know, she not have English?

Ask your house mates.

All it really would have taken is a simple ‘Yes she did,’ from each of them but it is taking far, far longer. I give up and retire to my easy chair, my jazz and my book.

Roland come back, we done.

I wonder why Jecim still calls me Roland. The others call me Rolie. Yes, every once in a while Myra calls me Roland, but not often.

I move back to the table. My beer is almost finished. Jecim wants to know if I want a second one. I tell her, not now. Myra has a wine glass filled with some bottled Sangria. It’s a Philippine concoction almost similar to the real thing. It isn’t, but they don’t know it. It’s cheap, and it can be purchased locally. I think this is the second or third glass for her as the bottle has seen a fair bit removed from it.

Myra takes a long drink from the decidedly low alcohol content beverage, puts her glass down a little more formally than normal, before asking, Rolie what we do now?

I really think this is up to you. Do you want to challenge your mother? It seems to me, that we either do as she wants, or we are challenging her.

Myra had told us before that her mother was sweet. I suspect what she left off was sweet on the outside with an iron fist on the inside. I like the gal, truly. I do think she means well. But she is probably, to use an old idiom, one tough broad.

Myra is stumped, but I have another question for which I need clarification. Myra how did your mother learn of the details of the discussion last night? Did you tell her? If not did you tell anyone else?

I tell no one. Oh! Alida! She very angry I think. Maybe she stupid and complain about you when she go back home. That why she call me today and ask if you a good man. Here the ‘she’ refers to Marjune. I tell her yes, you love me and I love you. She say, ‘He make you happy?’ I say you do. She say, ‘He a good man?’ I tell her yes. She say, ‘He want Analiza?’ I tell her the truth. You think she not be here at all. You think this not a good place for her. She ask, ‘You sure about this?’ I tell her it true, you also say Alida and Analiza should stay together. It bad to separate them, so Alida should not be here. I tell her Alida difficult. She say she happy I find a good man. I not tell her what we say to Alida last night.

OK. Well, Myra I think the only option that makes any sense to me is for you to text Alida with the following message. ‘You fucked up by talking to mom last night. Mom was here and talked to Rolie. Now he says, never come to his gate again. No option.’

Yes good. That right. I send it.

I wonder, when it comes to Alida, is it really game, set, and match? It seems that way, but nothing is certain except what you see in the rear view mirror. And in my mirror, I have to say, it has been a day for the moms.

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Chapter 27