Family Relations
Today we are all to be at Jomar’s home, where Iren lives, for a party. It is a Sunday and the party will start at three in the afternoon.
Iren goes to the Cebuano language Mass at 5AM at Naval Cathedral. That gets them back home no later than 7AM. From that point on the cooking will continue right up until the party.
Jecim left for Mass with Iren, as she does many Sunday mornings, and so she is long gone from my bed when I arise. She is probably with her mom right now, helping with the cooking there. The food we are to bring was prepared yesterday. The rest of us will drive over there later today. Right now the gals are all out on the terrace giving each other manicures and pedicures.
The gals all know Iren and Jecim's sisters. They know Jomar. It is hardly a frightening thing. They have played cards together, sung videoke together. This is the first time at Jomar’s home, and there is excitement about who else will be there, but they are far from tense. They are at ease.
I am as well. No one is depressed. I do wish I could get out on the terrace and spend some time with the wood, but the shavings are not compatible with the nail care in progress.
However, I can read out there without bothering them.
I eat a late breakfast, as the next meal will be mid-afternoon. Following my breakfast I take the book out to the terrace and relax.
My idle time passes nicely. I rarely read during the day, but it seems like the thing to do today. My inborn protestant work ethic doesn’t even complain as it is Sunday and, as there is no NFL to watch, I am free to read at my pleasure sans guilt. But, at two in the afternoon, the girls are clipping my nails again and making a fuss that I should dress up a bit. Why? Jomar and Iren don’t gussy themselves up when they come here, for Christ’s sake. I am told that there being twenty-five others means that I should. It makes no sense to me. This is just family, but I partially relent and put on a nicer shirt and slacks. Not formal, but nicer, and, that being done, I gather I have gained their approval.
I am ready to leave long before three but, in true Filipino fashion, the gals are not. We get out of the house thirty minutes after the hour for a fifteen minute trip to Jomar’s place. And so, we will arrive just before four. No one thinks this is wrong or rude. It is completely as it ought to be.
It is a family gathering, but there is family here that I sure as hell was not expecting. It’s Charline’s family. I greet each of them, but I am beyond perplexed and seek out Jomar for a possible explanation.
Surprised, Roland?
That’s one way to put it. Why are they here?
They sorry for what Charline do. They know it wrong and they lose honor. It worse for them than maybe you know. The gossip in the city, it mean. People talk about them in bad ways. They need to regain honor.
What does that have to do with being here?
Ping come to me. He say, what we do to help Sir Roland? How we make this better for him? Maybe he say it not our fault?
I see. You think this is the best way? Them being here?
Why not? Then it not them coming begging. They family and this ‘accidental’ meeting allow them to discuss without embarrassment.
Alright. I understand. Who is speaking for them?
The parents. This is right for you, it not?
I guess so.
Come, let us sit down with them out back. Jomar calls on a niece of his to bring us a San Miguel Pale Pilsen Grande1, some ice and three glasses, and to bring it to the back of the house.
There is a table sitting under the shade of a mahogany tree with six chairs in the back. Ping and his wife Merly are apparently waiting for us. I haven’t seen them face to face since Charline left. Both stand up and greet me, offering their hands. I take Merly’s first and then Ping’s, before we seat ourselves.
Roland, (this is Ping) you are our son-in-law. This always be true. We all know this. You never bad to us. You not be mean to us when Charline leave. We know Charline the wrong one. Yes, we know this true. We are sorry for this. We not able to stop her. How we do that?
Yes, Ping, I know you could not stop her. But you never say anything to warn me about putting the car in her name or the house in her name. So, I am not happy with this even if you say you are sorry now. That I have not said anything does not mean I am OK with what you did.
I don’t think Ping was ready for the rebuke, but it is deserved and I think he knows it. He is looking at Jomar… I think he is looking for help, but there is little that Jomar can probably say. There is surely nothing he can say to me in this matter. Merly has a stony face. I don’t think she likes having to come hat in hand to me for anything. Jomar looks at Ping and asks, What Roland say true, correct? You know Charline plan to leave him for another man as soon as the house finished and you not warn him to not put all in her name. You tell me this before. So why you surprised by what he say now?
Merly stands up and pulls Ping up. They are leaving. Jomar bellows, Sit down! Merly, you want more bad name? I will make it happen! You do this to Roland. You allow your daughter to cheat him, correct? I know you know what she to do. You not warn him to not put all in Charline’s name. You have the opportunity? Roland you sure they have the opportunity?
Jomar, it is Ping with whom I went to look at vehicles. I only brought Charline to see the vehicle, once Ping and I decided on it.
Jomar looks hard at Ping and asks, Does Roland lie?
Ping shakes his head and quietly says, No. It true. It all true.
Merly! You lose your honor because you not have honor! Why we help you get your honor back? Why Roland do this for you?
Merly is pretty well pissed off. She has had quite enough and just wants to leave, but Ping is holding her down. His business has suffered because of all the gossip about how the family was silent as their daughter took me for a ride. I am not a faceless foreigner they have never met. I live here.
Ping asks, What we do now to make this better? I am sorry for what I do. What I do now? I not know?
Jomar turns to me. Is there anything they can do?
I haven’t given it any thought before because I never thought this would be happening, but I give it a try, not knowing the realities of the law here.
Understand that, because of my actions, Charline received her US citizenship. That I cannot take back from her. It is the very valuable thing she walks away from the marriage with. But I don’t want her walking away with anything else. If you two can get Charline to sign over the ownership of the house and the car to me, that would help a great deal. As to the land, if you two can get her to put the ownership of the land in an irrevocable trust for my Filipino born children, that would help. If you two can get her to sign an affidavit that she had engaged in extramarital sex, and was not contesting a separation, that would help. And finally, if you, Merly, or you, Ping, will not go around bad mouthing me when that is done, ever, then… if you two do all these things, then I will go out of my way to say you are good and honorable people. But not one moment before you two have Charline set to right what you two allowed to happen.
Jomar must have liked what I said, because he slams down the empty glass he was drinking from and announces that, if they don’t do it, he will make sure more bad things will happen to them. And then he looks at Merly before saying, Especially you, Merly. I will make you sorry you allow your daughter to cheat this man. She is a thief. You help, so you a thief too.
Ping knows Merly is causing problems. My best guess is that Ping probably didn’t know fully. It is possible, I guess, that Merly didn’t tell him at all. If there is only one bad actor here, it is she. But saying he has a bad wife who does things behind his back is also a matter of losing face. So Ping sucks it up, stands up, looks me square on and says, Your requirements are fair. I not know if we able make her do these things. It my word that we try with Charline. It my word that we not talk bad about you. Roland, we were friends before. I truly sorry Charline hurt you. She act evil. But Sir, I am curious, even with the letter, you cannot get an annulment here.
I can get a legal separation and that will have to do. At least, if your daughter gets pregnant by another man, I will not be listed as the father in the Philippines! I will lose my PhilHealth coverage, and that does not make me happy but, if I can get the separation, I will have to accept that as unavoidable.
OK, OK, we try, truly.
Jomar pours each of us more beer, and nodding to each other rather than click glasses, we three then proceed to drink. Ping tells Merly to help Iren, and we three are now alone to finish the beer and a bottle of brandy Jomar had hidden behind the tree.
The beer is just a memory when Merly reappears and has words in Cebuano with Ping. Jomar becomes irate and I swear that if I didn’t know him better I would have thought he was going to knock the woman to the ground. As it is, she apologizes and walks off.
I am looking at Jomar, as he is pouring himself a healthy amount of brandy, but it is Ping who explains that his wife accused me of immoral acts. I gather that Jomar was none too happy about that and that was why he tore into the woman. But then Ping says, it was when Jecim announced that you were sending her to college that Merly made the jump to immoral act.
Jomar is silent, as he drinks. Ping once again apologizes and suggests he needs to stay with Merly to make sure that there are no more problems. Jomar nods as if to give permission and I do the same.
Roland, it true, you send my niece to school? Why that? She your maid.
I have Jezryl and Vieve to work as maids. How will Jecim, and the rest, get along when I die? They may give me children. How will they care for my kids? Both Jezryl and Vieve never graduated high school and are far from it. But Myra has a degree and she may get a second. Jecim will get one and so will Jelou. They will be the money makers. It will be enough to maintain the house and raise the kids when I am gone. The kids will continue to receive benefits from the USA until they are older. That, plus what the girls can make, will be the money my family needs. That’s why she needs an education.
You love my niece! Roland, I not know this! Yes I hope, but this is good news. Have some brandy with me. We celebrate!
Why does everyone want to call being caring, being responsible, as love? I have five, count them, five girls. How does that equate to love? I am worried the children of my issue should not live in poverty. Why does that mean I love the mothers?
Roland, you will give me more relatives. This is good. It also good, they will be cared for and have a good home. I think I am very lucky now.
An hour later, we are called to eat. Jomar gives the prayer before we partake in what is laid upon the tables. As is common, there is more food than can be consumed by those present. I fill my plate and go back to where I was sitting to enjoy the meal.
Jomar has not joined me, but Jelou has. We are talking about all the gossip she has gathered up since we arrived, when Iren comes to the table, gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I gather you are happy Jecim goes to college.
Yes, thank you! I not afford this! Oh Roland, you make me very happy! It a better story than what happen to my niece.
You understand that I am doing it so that, when I die, she can care for the children I give her? This is OK for you?
Yes! Yes! It wonderful news. My older daughters they jealous. They say to their husbands, send me to college! But then there is laughter. Too many children and not enough money. What you do, it is very kind and very smart. Charline a very stupid woman, I think. Just like that man who leave my niece.
OK Iren, what happened to your niece?
You meet her before.
I don’t think so.
I think yes. She play cards at your house many times. She here today. You say hello to her.
Oh, I see. OK, which one is she?
Wait! I get her.
Jelou, do you know who Iren is talking about?
Maybe yes. I think it Chelly.
That name does not ring a bell for me. You think I know her?
Yes. If it Chelly, you speak with her before.
There are many gals who come over to play cards. I do not really pay attention to them all. Jelou and I are continuing to discuss what she has gathered for the better part of ten minutes. I think the girl is just about done with all she has gleaned when Iren comes back with a gal I do recognize.
Jelou saves my bacon by exclaiming, Hi Chelly!
I know her, but not as Chelly… Oh fuck, of course. This is Jecim’s cousin Rachelle. Sure, yes, I have passed a few words with her before. She is probably twice Jecim’s age, in her early thirties. If memory serves me, she has a daughter but has never been married.
Nice to see you again. Your aunt tells me that you have a sad story. Is this true?
I think yes. Maybe we both are hurt by others. Me by a Kano, and you by a Filipina.
I see. What happened?
I meet a man online. He say he like me but I need to quit school and come with him to the USA. I in hotel management four year classes, but only in the second year. I want to continue. So I say, I be yours, but first help me get through school. He say no, he will marry and go back the USA. So I say, OK you marry other and I be your mistress but first help me with school. Then he come and we meet. We spend days together. He take me to Boracay! It fantastic. … He buy me dresses and bikinis. He take me diving over the reefs. He not good at it, like me, but he says he has fun. He take me out to nice restaurant but we play and he say, I not wear panties! He is silly, but kind. He always kind to me. He respectful to me in front of others. … I think OK, he mine. I know he like many women together, so I get a waitress at the restaurant to join us one night. I want him to know, whatever he want, I do. But he send me back home, he find another woman, he never go back to the USA. You know what worst?
No, what is worst?
The waitress, he take her too. She with him and the other woman. They all live here in the Philippines. Why he do that to me? I love him a lot. I do all he ask. Why that? What wrong that he leave me?
I don’t know. I am sorry to hear your story. But how do you know where he is and what he is doing?
Sometimes we IM. He not help me much but a little sometimes. He say he love me but not right for him! Why?
I have no idea Rachelle. So you are still chatting with him?
Yes, sometimes.
OK, well that’s weird.
It OK when I come to your house, maybe we talk some time?
Yes that is fine.
It OK if I tell him about you?
Sure.
Thank you, Sir Roland. Thank you very much. I go now.
As she walks off, Jelou is giggling. I look over at her, wondering what is so funny. I guess the girl can read my mind because I get an answer to the question I had yet to ask.
She is always arguing with some Filipina. She fight a lot. She get angry. She get excited fast and make a scene. She wrong a lot. Make problem for others. It OK that an aunt should love her niece, yes, that is correct. But, she ignore the behavior of the niece. It like watching a teleserye I think. That why the man say, not for him. You know she have a nickname now. It the name of a teleserye drama!
So she is a drama queen?
I think so, yes.
1 - A litre (1000ml) size bottle.