Of butterflies, bees, and birds
Family day is thankfully over and we are driving back to the house. I think we will all want to know how it went with Martia, later in the day.
Jelou hasn’t said a word since we got in the car. No one wants to push her. And then she says, Thank you, Rolie.
What are you thanking me for?
What you say?
What part of what I said?
You say you taken. I like that. It means we really your girls and you ours. I like you tell her, pay attention to me. Yes, I like that. You surprise her I think. She not sure what you mean, but she do it. We spend rest of the time together. I learn about her. She tell me things she not say to a student. … Rolie she not have a boyfriend. She like to watch the beauty contests.
Oh, Jelou, I haven’t met any Filipina who doesn’t like to watch those things.
No this different. I sure of it.
OK. What else?
She interest in you. She ask about why you here. She ask about how you live. She ask about your habits.
You told her I tell the truth, I am taken, right?
Yes, of course. She say how that? Wife gone. I say, it true. She just look at me, funny. Then she say, ‘You live with him? He your guardian?’ I tell her this true, but he think it OK if I visit her at her home. She say it not good. She live with her parents. If she visit me outside school it be at our house so others not talk bad.
I have no idea what to say. I really don’t want the gal in our house, but it seems that it is the only option. Vieve offers a suggestion, and I guess it is good advice.
Take her right into your bedroom. Don’t hang out in the rest of the house. Then she doesn’t see how Rolie is and she not really see how we are. When she coming?
She want to come tomorrow afternoon. Rolie that OK?
I really don’t want this, but I don’t want to throw rocks at Jelou’s feet either.
OK, but she doesn’t stay the night. So it needs to be over by nine at night. OK?
OK. Good.
And, for a moment, I get a respite before the next issue is standing right in front of me on the terrace, once I park the car. I gather she has been waiting for me to return before the screaming starts.
What you say to my mother!
Myra, did you have a good day?
Rolie! What happen yesterday? Why you tell my mother it OK Analiza come and we fuck her?
I didn’t.
You did!
No, I didn’t.
Mother not lie! You say this!
Then your mother either misunderstood me or the translation she got from Jecim. I have no control over what she believes, but I told her clearly and without any exceptions that I did not want your niece to live here. I told her that if she thought it is OK that her daughter might well be fucked, she would still have to convince you!
Why you say that to her?
Because she insists that the child needs to come here. She is convinced that living with her mother and grandmother, who are continually fighting, is bad for the child. She says Analiza loves you and would be happy to live here with you. I told her that it is a very bad idea, without saying why. … She continued to insist, so I told her what life is like here, and, therefore, why the child should not come. She suggested I am just trying to scare her, so I said, ask Myra. Ask her if that is not what happens here, and ask her if she thinks it is a good idea for the child to live here. … I told her if, after knowing what happens here, and what might well happen to the kid, that she still wants Analiza to live here, she would still have to convince you that it is a good idea, and she would have to tell the truth to the child and see if the child wants it to happen. … Myra, I’m opposed to it, but it is up to her and you to put the child in jeopardy, and, even then, only with the child’s knowledge and permission!
OK I call her back.
And with that she hurries into the house, I gather, to grab her cellphone.
Jelou is snickering.
Jezryl is a little put out by the snickers and asks her younger sister, What do you think is so funny?
Myra, why she not know Rolie? He not want the girl. We all know this. Why he change now? It not make sense. If she think, she know the mother not tell all. I know what happen last night. She too busy playing cards to see Marjune talk to Rolie about it. She too busy with cards to see him say, No! … This how problem start. Rolie not change. He tell us, we need to believe he mean this. … Maybe I disagree with Rolie. It OK to say, ‘why that?’ He not get mad. That OK. I do that last night. We talk about it. But Rolie think it a bad idea. That not change.
Jezryl is confused. You think the kid OK to be here?
If it bad at home like Marjune say, why not? Sex not bad. Fighting is bad. Rolie say sex bad if you too young. It not bad. I OK and I do it at her age.
Not fucking. Jelou you not fuck then.
No, but the other. It OK. I not hurt. I happy now. So why it bad for her? Rolie say we different.
I am here, but, oh hell, let them talk as if I were not. I have picked up the wood and started carving. Let them hash out what they need.
Eventually, they walk into the house and I can pursue my efforts alone and in quiet… for a few minutes anyway.
Myra has rejoined me on the terrace. I am on a particularly minute and intricate piece of carving and I don’t want to stop in the middle of it. So I ignore her for a bit, until I can come to a logical stopping point.
Yes?
I talk to mother.
And?
You tell the truth. She admit what you say happen. Why she lie to me before?
To get the answer she needed.
Oh. Really?
It’s a guess, but it’s a guess with some experience behind it. What did you tell her?
I tell her that what she want is wrong. You know it wrong. I know it wrong. She say, OK, maybe she think it more. I say what she need to think for? It wrong! She say, maybe not as wrong as what happen there now. She say it very bad there. So I say, OK. If she think it better, and Analiza want, I will allow it. But she must believe that we both think this is very wrong to do. She say, OK, she believe I speaking for love of the child. She know it not meanness that I say, no. … That OK, Rolie? You not mad?
It’s OK. I think you did the best you can do.
She gets up and I get a kiss before she leaves the terrace. I only have about half an hour of good light before I need to put the wood down for the day.
There is a trade-off in a weird way, related to the number of messes I deal with at one time.
When Charline and I were together, we could go for months without anything really needing resolution, other than who to invite over and what restaurant do we want to try for the first time. Life could damned sure be so even that it got boring, but it was stable, calm, and predictable, up until that moment when it was totally fucked up.
Now, I don’t think anything is going to get fucked up. Any of them can leave without destroying my world, but there always seems to be some issue needing resolution. Anyway, it sure feels that way.
In some ways, not much has changed in my world. I am living where I have now lived for a few years. No great mysteries exist. I am not on a great and epic adventure. I will make no history. It’s sort of like the premise of that TV show I used to watch, what was it?… Sienfeld, I think. Is that how the name is spelled? Hell, I don’t remember.
My life now is a story of nothing. I sit. I carve. I eat. I drink brandy. I sleep. That’s about it. Nothing is happening, and yet there is always some little thing, up in the air, unresolved.
It is all pretty small stuff as far as my life is concerned now, at least mostly. Yeh, sure, if the shit about the separation goes badly, any future progeny get screwed… but hell, I will be dead, right?
Am I minimizing? Two men were shot dead outside the gate. Surely that is no small thing. And Ermei… I did have a hand in all that. If Jelou had stayed in that home, would Ermei have killed herself? Three deaths aren’t nothing, and yet, it is not me and my life.
Is my need to have more than one female in my life a catalyst that created the chemistry that bubbled and resulted in these dead souls? Is this the butterfly effect? I am doing nothing, or, at least, very little and yet my presence so disturbs the world as to create these massive disturbances?
Damn, I wonder what has put that bee in my bonnet, and… How long have I been day dreaming? I need to stop carving. The light is gone.
The rest of the evening is without any excitement. Jecim and I spend the night together. She tells me I am tense and gives me a massage. I fall asleep before she is done. I suspect I was not as tense as she thought.
Sunday is here and the rain is pouring down. It has been raining since late last night. There’s a strong breeze accompanying the rain. It’s actually cool outside. The gals are bundled up. I put socks on, something I rarely do. Somewhere I have some long sleeve shirts, but I don’t know where Charline stuck them a few years ago.
Sitting on the terrace sure as hell requires no fan today. Lunch isn’t for another two hours when a tricycle pulls up and discharges Martia. Ay-oooo! Ay-oooo!
Before I can arise, Jelou is dashing out to the gate and escorting the gal in. But, as Martia is about to pass me, she halts, blushes and greets me.
Good morning, Sir.
Martia, I thought we agreed yesterday that you would call me Rolie.
I sorry, but it hard to call a person such as you in that way, Po.
Jelou, do you call me Po or Rolie.
She laughs. Rolie.
Well, then, work on your friend here. She needs to lighten up a bit.
Sir, why do you call me Jelou’s friend? I am her teacher!
Martia, at school you are her teacher. When you come her, you are her friend. We are happy for that. If it isn’t a problem for us, why worry?
So now, she is both blushing and unsure of what to say. Jelou uses the confusion to pull her into the house.
I can’t help but chuckle at the discomfort the girl is experiencing. God only knows what she will be experiencing after a few hours in a bedroom with Jelou. That kid is flat out dangerous.
I return to the wood. Who will you be? What do you have to tell me?
As the sun leaves us for the night, we have not seen Jelou and her visitor since mid-morning. Myra wonders when they will decide they are hungry. Vieve tells all assembled that, at times like this, hunger is forgotten. Jezryl agrees. Jecim just doesn’t know what to think, but says she is sure none of her school teachers were ‘this way.’ Vieve laughs and comments that it’s only because they had not met Jelou!
I need to go up and clean up for supper. I normally just come down when I am done, but today they will call out, ‘Kaon karon1, Rolie!’ They are in hopes that we might let the two in the bedroom know two things. What time it is, and that there is food to eat.
It actually seems to have worked. About twenty minutes after I descend the stairs for supper, we see the two of them. They are properly attired but, from the look of things, it seems that Martia has just brushed her hair. Jelou has different clothing on, and a smile as big as you please on her face.
As they seat themselves, and load up their plates with rice, and some toppings, Jecim pours them some water in glasses before placing it in front of them.
I decide to break the ice with a sledge hammer. Well, you two seem to have enjoyed yourselves.
Martia is fumbling, blushing, and just about ready to cry. I sure didn’t mean to do that to her, but Jelou calms her in the only way that makes sense. I think she agrees that what has transpired needs to be acknowledged here, or it will be very awkward going forward.
Relax! They all know what we do. No one upset. They happy for us. This my family. They know how I feel about you. They know what I hope happen. Rolie see I change what I wear. It tell him what we do. He happy for me. Ask him!
Sir, what Lou say, this true?
Yes. It’s true.
But maybe you think this illegal.
I think that no one in this house is ever going to say that. No one is going to discuss it outside this house. No one inside this house thinks it is wrong. We know Jelou, and are happy for her.
She is blushing deeply now, and once again almost crying. But I not lesbian.
So? We are not judging you. I only ask that, for the time you and Jelou are intimate, you not engage in sex with any man. I do not want Jelou to contract a disease by accident.
Now the poor dear is ready to piss her pants. I am quite sure this is the first time in her life she has ever had this type of conversation.
Yes, Sir. I promise this.
Good. I bet you are hungry. So eat!
I get grins from Jelou, Jezryl, and Vieve. Myra is a bit lost as to why this was all necessary. Jecim is just looking at me, as a wife looks at a husband, when he does something she just wasn’t prepared for. I have seen that many times before. It is neither good nor bad. It is a reshuffling of her understanding of her mate. She will not be surprised next time.
After dinner I relax in the Sala and the girls, sans Jelou, clean up the dishes and the kitchen. Martia and Jelou have once again removed themselves to a bedroom.
I am about ready to go upstairs for the night when Martia and Jelou appear again. Once again, Martia comes to me rather than a direct exit out to the gate.
Sir, … Rolie, I not understand you. But you are very kind to me. Thank you.
Have a good evening, Martia. I am sure we will see you again.
Yes. Yes, this is true. Good night.
Good night.
Jelou is happy. She may belong here, but she is still a kid and she will have crushes. Vieve thinks that a crush on a boy would feel like cheating to Jelou, but not so a crush on a girl.
I ask Vieve why Jelou doesn’t go after a classmate. Vieve’s theory is that to do so invites gossip and backstabbing, especially after the breakup. When having an adult lover, she is far less at risk. Beside, all Jelou has ever known is adult sexual intimacy.
I guess that makes sense and I decide to leave it alone. But if Vieve is right, then Jelou sees herself just as any wife does, in one way. She already has her guy.
The next two months are interesting in only one way. Nothing is happening. Nothing has changed. Nothing. Oh, I continue to add carvings to my collection, but there is no word at all from Marjune. I have no word from the attorney I hired. The relationship between Martia and Jelou is a Saturday and Sunday thing. But I do not allow an overnight here. Martia must be out of the house by nine each night.
I am supremely happy by this lack of excitement! I love the routine, the commonplace, the uneventful.
But the uneventful must and does come to an end. In this case, it could be a lot worse. The attorney has succeeded in processing the change in the ownership of the house, the car, and the deed for the land. The “trust” has been set up, and now we need to get Jomar’s signature on the trust paperwork whereby the mom’s get to take over the executor position as they give me issue.
I have the paperwork, but need Jomar to sign it in front of a notary. I think this is a job for Jecim. Let Jomar deny the signature to his niece. Nah, I don’t think that will happen.
I catch Jecim separately and explain how the trust works right now and how it will work once she gets the signature. It takes a bit of going over the exact language on the document with her before she gets the full implication, but, once she does, I get a kiss that is at least outsized for the request I have made… At least, it seems outsized to me until the other shoe drops. Jecim is pregnant.
1 - Eat now! [in Cebuano]